Carousel: Learning To Love Your Cellulite, Psychedelics As A Cure For Depression, And How To Diversify Your Life

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Oh lord, what a month. It has been so intense. But one upside to a total upending of all things we know to be true and decent? SO MANY THINKPIECES, so much intelligent discourse, so much creativity. So here are a few of the best things I uncovered this month.

For the first time ever, I’ve split this into two sections. All the political pieces that I found valuable are stacked together at the end. If you’re not into it, you can skip it easily. But even if you’re usually not keen on reading about this kind of thing, I really encourage you to pick at least one and give it a go. That old idea that we “shouldn’t talk about politics” only creates problems and a lack of understanding. Being informed and compassionate and action-oriented is sexy. That’s all!

If you’re in a long distance relationship, how should you communicate?

The Psychological Case for Dressing Way Up (or Down) for Work.

“I believe in the power and appropriateness of semiotics,” he said, referring to the study of signs and symbols. “The clothes we wear, the accessories we wear, the way we groom ourselves sends a message about how we want the world to perceive us. It’s a very important responsibility and we need to accept that. I don’t care how people [do it], as long as they own it.”

Shauna wrote about external validation and remembering that you’re good enough.

This guy… There are not enough eye rolls. He got a girl pregnant, insisted she didn’t get an abortion, and now she isn’t involved in raising the child at all. Which is what they agreed upon. This thread… I mean, the arrogance is unreal.

I looooooved Chrissy’s piece on learning to love her cellulite. I experienced a similar personal revolution when I started wearing short-shorts this summer. I thought it would be the END OF THE WORLD. Surprise! No one cares!

Psychedelics as a remedy for depression and anxiety.

In Sweden, there is now a hotline to report mansplaining. Ahahaha.

This Revolutionary Parenting Insight Will Help Your Love Life.

If you learn to be your own caregiver — organizing your emotions through things like journalling, contemplation, and consciously befriending yourself and “practicing autonomy” rather than insisting that the people close to you all text you four times a day — then, over time, you can arrive at one of the more empowering phrases in psychology: earned security. “You do not have to have had a secure childhood to have a secure adulthood,” Hoffman says. “But you have to have a road map.”

I loved this post from Chani on Scorpio season and what it means to take responsibility and be resilient.

 New York is a very different place these days. Sleaze be gone: Buildings that housed New York’s former sex clubs have cleaned up their act.

A Fine Argument for Why Sex Is So Good. As if we needed more evidence…

A better way to understand the way people can lose their sense of selves during the act of sex is with trance, the same way that you might feel a sense of absorption on a particularly good night of dancing, a particularly strenuous yoga session, a particularly deep meditation, or a particularly satisfying run. “Intensely focusing on immediate sensations — such as those produced by rhythmic stimulation — is likely to reduce the amount of mental capacity available for other things.”

 Speaking of which: The One Real Way to Get Better at Sex, According to a Sex Researcher.

 We could probably all use this one about now. A Simple Way to Stay Grounded in Stressful Moments.

This is fascinating! Tim Robbins’s Prison Improv Classes Make Inmates Less Likely to Re-Offend.

If you went a little nuts this Black Friday/Cyber Monday, don’t worry. It could have been so much worse! Here are 5 shopping sprees so wild they made history.

What can you do if you have a gossiping boss? Other than quit, obviously. Hahah.

I love to use light and colour to influence the vibe of a space. If you do too, here are 27 Mood Lights to Keep You Happy, Relaxed, or Focused.

How to (Kind of) Master Your Neuroticism. This piece is great. The opposite of anxiety is exploration!

What does it mean when you feel “fat”?

There are four different types of introverts. Is it just me, or do people love studying introverts right now?

The Abortion-Rights Activist Who Believes in ‘Ferocious Love’.

Kanye was just released from hospital recently. Here are a couple of pieces about that: Kanye West, Celebrity, and Why We Should Be Quiet and Listen and On Kanye West and the Disposal Of Black Women And Femmes’ Mental Health.

We could definitely use some of Swedish’s untranslatable words for relationships.

Hahah… New Catholic App Will Help You Earn Forgiveness for Your Tinder Gangbangs.

Here’s how to become someone people love to talk to.

Can you believe that Michael Jackson’s Dangerous is 25 years old?! The World It Saw Looks Like the Present.

Have you ever wondered how the kaftan went global?

Here’s an expert guide on how to be a good listener.

Good stuff from James Altucher. How To Diversify Your Life.

Pick the people who will be the most positive in your life. People who you can look up to, who can look up to you. Eliminate everyone else. Not in a cold or cruel way. But in a way that makes sure you put the importance back on yourself. Make sure you are your own center of gravity. Anyone whose gravitational pull becomes too great needs to be put on “Halley’s Comet” status – once every 76 years and that’s it.

We all know this already but it’s nice to have it backed up by science. Comparing Yourself to Facebook Friends Is Bad News for Your Mental Health. (The real question is, what are you going to do with this information?)

Two rad people: James Altucher and Tim Ferriss. I like this bit — ‘The last thing Tim suggested, “Think about what advice your future self would give you right now.”‘

New Moon in Sagittarius: a call to action. I loved this piece about how, during Scorpio season, we butt up against the limits of our own mythic framework. As Sagittarius rolls in, we have to ask ourselves, where will we go from here? How will we constellate meaning from the real, rather than the wished-for? And how will that meaning inspire action?

Why can’t we all take Modafinil?

Man Magically Transforms Into Music Historian While Talking to Women. Hahahah!

Reynolds, who allegedly told Ms. Jones that Bikini Kill was “all about Billy Karren” and “the Frumpies are really good, probably better than Bikini Kill,” also asked whether she had “heard of X-Ray Spex, who are also better” before completely shouting over her answer. Reynolds claimed afterward that he didn’t recall the encounter with Jones. “I did what?” he asked, eyes wide, before lowering his gaze and whispering, “Not again…”

POLITICS

The Gathering Storm Of Protest Against Trump.

Paris Hilton voted for Trump. Honestly, this makes it really hard for me to continue liking her, even in an ironic sense.

Trump’s name has already been removed from these buildings.

After the Election, the White People of Los Angeles Adopted Pets. And uh, I did too.

He didn’t know how he had gotten so lucky. He would go home with this white woman and later she would take off her short-shorts, and he would get to see the remaining eighth of her butt. And if she hit her head and died, and her body lay there for days, he could eat that butt and probably live for a week. I smiled at the woman. “Congratulations!” I said.

How could Obama psychologically manipulate Trump for the better? Fingers crossed, man.

Obama reckons with a Trump presidency. This is a long read but a very good one.

“I think both Michelle and I are interested in creating platforms that train, empower, network, boost the next generation of leadership. … But what we’ll be most interested in is programming that helps the next Michelle Obama or the next Barack Obama, who right now is sitting out there and has no idea how to make their ideals live, isn’t quite sure what to do—to give them resources and ways to think about social change.”

One of the best things I read about the election, which helped me understand why the HELL educated white women voted for Trumpkin in such huge numbers. Why White Women Voted For Trump. Damn.

Good old Henry Rollins! Trump Is Going From Grabbing Pussies to Being One and White America Couldn’t Handle What Black America Deals With Every Day.

A Spiritual Perspective on the U.S. Election by my friends the AstroTwins.

 

Kisses,

Photo by Philip Lowe.

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Radical Self Love Letters

Loving Yourself Is A Revolutionary Act: The Radical Self Love Commandments

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Make no mistake: radical self love is vitally important. It has a very real effect on your life, and the lives of everyone around you. In today’s world, for example, being unable to see your worth can result in voting for a hateful misogynist. You do not exist in a bubble. If you don’t believe that you deserve basic human rights, you will pass that poisonous ideology onto the rest of us.

I have been saying for the longest time that LOVING YOURSELF IS A REVOLUTIONARY ACT. Now that’s even more obvious, and even more pressing.

Radical self love is not — and has never been — about taking a bubble bath.

So, where do we begin? Yes, learning to loving yourself and starting to treat yourself with respect are big jobs. Here are ten principles that can guide you when you feel lost.

TREAT YOURSELF LIKE YOUR OWN LOVER

Cast your mind back to those heady days when you’re first falling in love. You’re fascinated by the other person, endlessly curious about what makes them tick, and making the effort to present as your best self. You get dressed up, you go on adventures together, and in doing so, you see the world through fresh eyes.

It’s a beautiful thing: assuming the best about someone else, appreciating them for their little quirks, and being so happy to spend time in their company.

So what if we could treat ourselves this way too? What if we could be excited about our idiosyncrasies, instead of berating ourselves?  What if we could be curious about what makes us tick, rather than being disappointed that we don’t have all the answers yet? What if we made the effort to dress up and take ourselves out on radical self love dates? What if we really showed up for life?

Imagine how different things would be.

RISKS CREATE MAGIC

I believe that we get out of life what we put into it. When we make the effort to create magic in our own lives, to love other people the way they want to be loved, and to do what is difficult, we will always be rewarded.

I’ve discovered that when I take risks and go outside of my comfort zone the most AMAZING things happen. But that doesn’t occur when I stay safe and small. The juiciness is always on the other side of something scary.

Avoid people who are professionally negative, professionally nervous, professionally insecure. It’s hard not to pick up their attitudes.

In order to create the world we want to live in, WE HAVE TO TAKE ACTION. We don’t have the luxury of staying in our beds and pretending things are going in another direction. We have all been complacent for too long. Now it is time for us to get off our asses, and experience the terrifying thrill of REALLY DOING SOMETHING.

You are SO magical. You are so bold. You have so much power inside you. Don’t waste your time with anyone who can’t see that.

NOT EVERY DAY CAN BE THE BEST DAY

Our energy is always oscillating. Some days we feel like a fountain of rainbow sprinkles shooting into a cotton-candy sky, and other days, even peeping our head out above the blankets can feel like a struggle.

Let’s stop expecting that we will be able to “crush it!” every single day. It’s not realistic and it sets us up for failure and disappointment. When you’re riding shotgun with the muse, by all means, get your life, honey! But it’s okay to have days that feel a little underwhelming, too.

Our best recourse in these moments is to have massive amounts of patience and self-compassion. When you feel low ebb, take it as a sign that you need to fill up your emotional tank. Devote more time to doing something that makes you happy.

Even though every day cannot be the best day, we do have the power to dictate what we do with the circumstances life throws at us. So make choices that strengthen you, and take care of yourself no matter what.

STOP SEARCHING FOR YOUR “PURPOSE”

There is no such thing. Our purpose is whatever we say it is. The meaning of life is whatever we bring to it. It’s that simple.

So many people are waiting to find out their purpose. That is just fear, dressed as  perfectionism, manifesting as procrastination. None of us have one true reason for being on the planet.

Whatever brings you joy, whatever perpetuates that spark inside you, whatever gets you out of bed in the morning? That’s the meaning of your life. It’s up to you to find that, and then pursue it with all your energy!

And if you don’t know what to do with your life, or which direction to go in, the answer is actually very simple. Pick one thing, and give it everything you’ve got. Reassess three months later. You’ll know whether to keep on the same track, or whether to try something new.

ALLOW YOUR JUDGEMENT MUSCLE TO ATROPHY

We use judgement of other people as a way of deflecting how bad we feel about ourselves. In that moment where we’re talking about how someone else is dressed or how they did this or that, we find temporary relief from our own inner torment.

It works for a short time, but it’s a temporary buzz. And the problem with exercising that judgment muscle is that it only gets stronger. Which means that it’s even more vicious and accurate when it — inevitably — turns and works its nasty magic on you.

We are all in this together, really and truly. The idea that it is “us” versus “them” is toxic, dangerous, and perpetuates so much hatred.

Stop talking shit about other people. Refuse to buy tabloids or look at gossip websites. And watch your life expand.

REFRAME YOUR VIEW OF FITNESS

A lot of us see fitness as some form of ancient torture, or — more accurately — punishment for not looking the way we want to. But really, working out is one of the best ways you can show your body how much you love it.

Exercise is also one of the most fast-acting examples of the immense power of our thoughts.

When you’re halfway through a set of ten push-ups, you might get to number seven and feel exhausted. In this moment you have two choices. You can think to yourself, ‘Oh God, this hurts too much. I can’t do this.’ And if you think that, you’ll probably quit. But if you instead tell yourself, ‘This hurts but I can do three more! This is easy. I am so much stronger than I think’, you will be able to finish the set.

Getting to our fullest potential depends entirely on the thoughts we think. We can select thoughts that weaken us and make us doubt our capabilities, or we can pick thoughts that literally strengthen us.

Once you experience this phenomenon, the power of the mind cannot be doubted. And you have yet another tool in your arsenal that can deploy at will.

CELEBRATE EVERY SINGLE DAY

You never know how long you have. This could be your last hour on the planet. So stop delaying pleasure and waiting for “special occasions” to live the life that you could be living every single day.

Wear your favourite dress. Use that fabulous bedding (and stop worrying about whether it might get a stain on it). Spray yourself with incredible perfume. Pull a tarot card every morning if it pleases you. Make time to see your friends.

We have the luxury of designing our lives in a way that suits us, so why not live a life that brings you joy? Don’t squander this one, delicious opportunity to be potently, vivaciously alive.

ASK YOURSELF HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL

“How do I want to feel?” is one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. Because when you know how you want to feel — say, for example, you want to feel FREE — that provides clues as to what you should be doing with your time, energy, attention, and money.

It also shows you where your life isn’t in alignment.

For example, if you want to feel free, but you also want to take on a huge debt, or tether yourself to a physical location, that’s going to create conflict in your life.

If you want to feel joyful, but you’re married to a cynic, that’s not going to go well either!

The plan? Structure your life so that your goals are in sync with the way you want to feel. The result? Pure bliss.

(Full credit to my girl Danielle LaPorte and her book The Desire Map for this idea.)

RECOGNISE THAT CHANGE IS PAINFUL AND UGLY

When I look around, I see a lot of people who are trying to transcend their pain. They’re desperately trying to meditate/yoga/green juice/gratitude it all away.

Now, all of those tools are great, but their purpose is not to eradicate pain completely. Pain is here no matter what we do. And in fact, pain helps us. Pain is a teacher. it’s here to show us what we need to know and how we need to change.

Spiritual bypasses never work.

We also have to recognise that change is seldom a pretty process. We all want to be living as the highest expression of ourselves, but getting there is never easy. It usually contains painful realisations, confusion, flailing, and tears. It is a continual striving towards a new and unfamiliar way of being.

If you’re signed on as a radical self love revolutionary, and if you’re committed to living your life like it’s golden (as Jill Scott would say), then you have to be prepared for the messiness.

The pain you’re feeling is an essential part of growth. If you try to avoid it, you won’t grow. You don’t get to dance around it. You have to go through it. It is the only way to transform.

CHOOSE GRATITUDE

Learning to practice gratitude on a regular basis has been one of the most revolutionary practices of my life. When I make an effort to focus on what is going well, my whole perspective on the world flips.

Gratitude is not about Pollyanna-ing your life away. It is not about burying your head in the sand or ignoring the very real problems that exist in our world. It is about recognising that there is always sweet with the sour.

2016 was an incredibly hard year for so many of us, capped off with an election that seemed to validate hatred, prejudice, and ignorance. Racism, police brutality, and blatant disrespect for women is rampant, and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. It’s heartbreaking, it’s disappointing, and it makes us want to take a big nap. But if that’s all we focus on, we’re going to get dragged down with it.

Gratitude is essential because it helps us realise that, no matter what it may look like on the outside, the world is FULL of incredible things, amazing people, beautiful ideas. And when we’re reminded of that, it gives us the power to keep going. It gives us the strength to keep fighting for what we believe is right. It gives us the courage to continue creating the world we want to live in.

Every morning, make a list of things you’re thankful for in your head, or in your phone, or with your lover, or in text messages with your friends. Be specific. Force yourself to dig deep and think about things that really light up your heart and elevate your spirit. Close your eyes and visualise each one as you contemplate it. It will completely transform your mood, and the way you interact with your environment.

I promise you, this universe is a beautiful place.

There is so much to be grateful for.

And your place amongst it is just as beautiful.

Love always,

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Send Radical Self Love Stickers To Your Best Friends!

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We could all use a little more kindness. A little more sweetness. A little more hope, a little more colour. If anything, the events of this recent week have reminded me how much we need to BE A RAINBOW, provide love, provide support, both to our closest friends and family, and to any stranger who needs it. (For more on this, you can read about my experiences at a protest this weekend right here.)

I love text messages as a way of communicating a delicious little something to our favourite people. That’s why I was so excited when iOS 10 released stickers — fun, small images that you could use to pepper your text messages with love and light.

And that’s why we created Radical Self Love Stickers!

I teamed up with one of my favourite illustrators, Emily Faulstich, to make 68 adorable radical self love-themed stickers that you can send to all your best friends!

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As much as I love words… It’s so much more fun to add colour to your messages! Stickers are rad because you can drag and drop the stickers anywhere, double, triple, or quadruple ’em up, and go really WILD!

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One of my favourite stickers says “Things I Love…” I like to use it to kick off a mini gratitude fest with my friends. It’s the best way to pull us both out of a slump simultaneously!

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In addition to little drawings, there are lots of phrases I came up with that you can send through when your best babe needs a little encouragement, a push to take a risk, or just to be reminded that Liberace is everything.

There are so many fun ways to use them. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think this is exactly the sort of boost we could all use right now.

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Radical Self Love Stickers are only 99 cents and they’re available in the App Store right now. I am crazy about them and I hope that you enjoy sending them to all your favourite people!

Love and stickers,

P.S. We only have ten spaces left for the second Radical Self Love Temple in Marrakech in March. If you want to join us, please make sure you email Audrey about it today!

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What The Hell Do We Do Now?

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It’s hard to know what to say. How did it all go so wrong? How can we be about to hand the reins of this country over to an orange sex pest? A man who mocks the disabled? A man who claims his accusers aren’t beautiful enough for him to sexually assault? A man for whom the KKK are about to throw a parade?

I woke up yesterday morning, lay in bed with my boyfriend, and cried. “How could half the country hate us so much?,” I asked through tears.

Make no mistake: the results of this election are extremely personal. This week, we have discovered — with indisputable proof — that middle America is terrified of change and progress. Half of the country is still living in the dark ages, quaking in their boots at the thought of giving equal rights to people of colour, scared of women having too much say or the right to their own body, threatened by anyone who is on the other side of the status quo.

And you know what? Maybe they should be. Maybe they should be afraid. Now we are going to be forced to unify, to work together. The backlash will be prompt, and very, very smart.

The thing that frustrates me most is that 45% of white, college-educated women voted for Trump, a self-confessed sexual predator. What the fuck is going on? How can white women vote for a candidate that so vocally demeans and debases women? It’s simple: internalised misogyny is real. Women need to love themselves more than ever, because when we don’t, these are the choices we make.

Let’s get something clear. Loving yourself is not about living in a bubble and acting purely out of self-interest. Loving yourself extends to loving other people: showing them the respect and courtesy that you show yourself. It keeps expanding outward beautifully. When you love yourself, you can see yourself in the other person! You recognise that there is no separation. What affects you affects me, and vice versa.

But even as I write this, I know I am preaching to the converted. I’ll lose a few people, but mostly, you are smart, savvy, compassionate babes. You know what’s up. The real question is, how do we get through to the people who don’t understand these concepts yet? How do we get them to care about people who don’t look or dress or talk like them? How do we help them see their own value? How do we teach them to treat themselves with respect?

As people who believe in love, justice, and truth, we are responsible for helping to educate the people who are still living in the dark ages — whether we like it or not.

The fear we’re feeling is not overblown. The predictions of what might happen to this country are not hyperbole. I wish they were, but they aren’t. Here are some examples of the ways in which truly repugnant people now feel empowered to behave. And here’s a little sample of what we could lose now that this bozo has been elected President.

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I know how dire it looks. But… I still believe in the good of people. Remember, Hillary won the popular vote! The country was flooded with protest marches last night. We still love each other. We still know what is right. We’re not despairing alone: every other intelligent and compassionate person in the country is in the same boat.

I hope against hope that, once in office, Trump will soften on his hateful rhetoric. That he will make kind choices. That he will recognise his awesome responsibility and do the right thing. Most of his party thinks he’s an incompetent moron: maybe they’ll block him the whole way.

I’m an optimist, I know. Perhaps absurdly so. But even though I’m hopeful, I also know that nothing is guaranteed. So we have to be ready.

On Facebook, my friend Tali posted,

Men, sane white people—you are needed for this revolution! We cannot preserve progress without people of privilege taking up the fight. And sometimes, friends, it IS spiritual to fight! We were born with voices, backbones and intuitions. They are meant to be used.

I’m not going to tell you to meditate through this. That might help your peace of mind, but it won’t help anything else. It is spiritual to fight! Prayer is not going to change the world. Ain’t no crystal gonna save us now. Sure, pray and charge your crystals if it makes you feel better, but don’t forget to pair it with action! 

If you’ve ever thought about getting involved in politics, this is your time! We need you! Things only change when we get involved at a local level. When we speak up and then follow it with ACTION.

Do you remember when Bush was up for re-election, and how many people insisted they’d move to Canada if he won? People have been saying the same thing about a Trump presidency. And that is certainly an option. Canada is lovely — who could blame you? But what we really need is for people to stay here and fight. We need bodies, and smart people leading the way.

We’ve all been watching the #blacklivesmatter movement for the past three years and wringing our hands as innocent black people die at the hands of police. Well, guess what? Now we’re all under attack. It looks like abortions may become inaccessible (and that women might be “punished” for getting them). It seems like gay marriage may be overturned. Let’s not even get into the millions of immigrants who are now afraid of how much longer they will be welcome in this country that they love and have contributed to.

This is OUR fight now. We have to stand shoulder-to-shoulder! We cannot simply abandon each other because we have the privilege of doing so. We cannot turn a blind eye and allow injustices to occur. It is unconscionable. What will you tell your children when they ask you what you did to help?

Even if Hillary — or, can you imagine, BERNIE! — had won, that wouldn’t mean we get to just kick back on a lily-pad and braid each others’ hair. A country is great because of its PEOPLE. We have to be involved, no matter what.

 

So, what can you do?

Take responsibility. I can own where I haven’t done or said enough. Where I haven’t made my views clear. Where I have tolerated misogyny or subtle racism or xenophobia. I claim it. I need to do better, and I will. We could ALL be doing more. You know it, and I know it too.

As tempting as it is to unfriend every Trump supporter you’ve ever known — including your family — don’t. Instead, talk to them. Listen to them and try to have compassion. Engage them in a dialogue. People don’t know what they don’t know! Give them facts and help them understand things from your point of view. My greatest hope is that these people are not hateful: just misinformed.

Next? STOP WAITING for people to tell you what to do. It is no one’s responsibility but our own. TAKE INITIATIVE! When you see something happening that you know is wrong, SPEAK UP! Stop waiting to be organised by other people. Take an active role in making this country a better place. Do what you gotta do. It’s hard work being a leader, but someone has to do it!

Then… Donate to Planned Parenthood. (That was the first thing I did yesterday morning.) Donate to these organisations too, or volunteer if you can’t afford to donate. Get Bullish has a great list of organisations to support, too. Shop at your local immigrant-owned businesses. Text your POC, female, queer, immigrant, Muslim friends and let them know you have their back ALWAYS. Set your New Balance sneakers on fire (sounds like fun). And uh, stop buying People magazine, though honestly, tabloids have been gross long before this.

Stay informed. My friend Colin wrote about 10 things he’s doing to cope, and Sarah’s piece on what we can do now is a must-read. Read Aaron Sorkin’s letter to his daugher. Read Michael Moore’s morning after to-do list. Read the Oh Shit! What Do I Do Before January? list.

And stop hiding your beliefs under a bushel because you don’t want to make other people uncomfortable. The days of it being “impolite” to talk about politics are LONG OVER. In fact, when we decline to talk about difficult issues, we can guarantee that nothing will ever get solved. BE REAL about who you are and what you believe. Have the fucking courage to stand up for what you think is right. If you won’t do it, you can’t expect anyone else to.

It is no longer enough to be sad and feel helpless. We are never helpless. We are massively powerful, especially when we work together. It is time for us to really take a stand, and put ourselves on the line. It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

One thing’s for sure: if you try to grab this pussy, it’ll bite your fucking hand off.

Meow.

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Carousel: The Real Jessica Rabbit, David Copperfield’s Magical Homes, And Looking For Love As A Full-Time Job

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Happy November! Oh man. Four days until the election and I just want the madness to be over. The clickbait is so extreme that I don’t even want to look at social media. Never forget that where people are pushing fear on you, someone is making money!

So, this I pledge to you: no election-related links. You can get your fill of that elsewhere, if you really want it. But these articles and videos are about anything but the American government. And thank goodness for that. I hope you enjoy this brief respite!

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but being a feminist and loving makeup aren’t mutually exclusive. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says so.

Conor McGregor Explains How To Visualize, Manifest and Realize Your Dreams.

The Goosebumps conundrum: what makes a children’s book good? Geeeeeeeez I loved R.L. Stine as a kid!

Tavi’s recent editor’s letter about identity and how it is always in flux is a goodie.

Maybe we feel extra accountable to our established identities because it’s all online, and there have been many times when I’ve wanted to just ERASE EVERYTHING BECAUSE I CANNOT CO-EXIST WITH WHO I HAVE BEEN BEFORE. Recently I was telling a friend that I felt like an impostor when people would say they connected with something I wrote ages ago but which I no longer agree with, because I’m not any of those people anymore. And he was like, “You’re right, you’re not. You’re better. But you had to be all of them first.”

Ever wondered how to talk to strangers? Here are some good ideas.

A question to ask yourself: what do you want to be known for?

Again, not a surprise. Massive Study Proves The Pill Is Linked To Depression, But Nobody F**king Cares. Sigh.

If you’re an atheist, why not have a wedding that reflects your beliefs? Steal these vows!

I am excited about this. Tollbooths are going to disappear in NYC and be replaced with art installations and multi-colour light shows!

David Copperfield’s Homes Have the Magic Touch. The magician brings his passion for story-telling to his multimillion-dollar properties, incorporating arcade games, a collection of artists’ mannequins and an under-construction ‘secret jungle village’. At all of his homes, Mr. Copperfield said he aims not just to decorate, but to create immersive experiences. YES.

We Use Words to Talk. Why Do We Need Them to Think? Yeah, that’s actually pretty weird.

International playgirls take note: Google Trips is a killer travel app for the modern tourist.

This article is old, but it’s about how Thierry Mugler disappeared from the spotlight and re-emerged as a completely new person. Fascinating!

This review of a Rick Owens store is one of the funniest things I’ve read. So, so silly.

He brushed mohair until it almost inflated! Stunning.

Fatal Attraction: Has Instagram Brought Us Too Close to Our Idols? Pop stars are now opting to disable comments and privatize their accounts — if we can’t control our fandom, should we lose our privileges?

Here’s what you should do if you have 36 hours in Mumbai Bombay.

A 100 year old to-do list model that actually helps you get things done.

I’m still really confused by the fact that Billy Corgan became the president of a wrestling organisation, but it just got even weirder: he just filed a lawsuit against his own company.

A Pharmacy Advertised A ‘Man Tax’ And Men’s Rights Activists Lost It. Aahahahah.

MysticxLipstick is one of my favourite astrologers. Here’s a great interview with her.

Oh, wow. At what moment did you realise you were dating an idiot? If you only read one article from this list, make it this one.

…I made the present from the cat. I thought I was being cute and she would make the connection. Instead, she got pissed that my cat got her a present and I didn’t.

Has Justin Bieber outgrown himself?

Entertaining people for a living can be exhausting. It is a perpetual test in how much you can give to others without losing yourself in the process. You really do get the feeling that Justin Bieber has lost enthusiasm for some of the more widely celebrated aspects of his career, like he wants to be someone else but doesn’t know who that person is yet.

I am definitely feeling the Lilith return, how about you?

More about our ovaries: The Racist and Sexist History of Keeping Birth Control Side Effects Secret.

So what’s the deal with “reverse racism”, really?

From the creepy file: UFO expert found dead after ‘vomiting black liquid’. WHAT?!

I love this! These Bachelor Contestants Fell in Love With Each Other Instead. Bless!

Hahaha. Saturday Night Live’s ‘A Girl’s Halloween’ is the realest thing that ever existed.

Marie Forleo’s interview with Seth Godin was even better than I thought it would be. LOVED IT!

White Feminists Gotta Go: Amy Schumer’s White Woman Foolishness. By attempting to replicate Beyoncé’s “Formation,” Schumer is firmly placing herself, as a white woman, at the center of a story where she has no place: black women’s self-love and sexual freedom.

My Sex Life Sucks: What I Learned from Attending a Sex Positivity Workshop.

The German Syrup That’s Like Time-Release Coffee. Hmmm… Interesting. Anyone tried it?

Scorpio SZN: How Astrology Tells Us Everything We Need to Know About Drake. This article is a bit basic, but when you discover that he is a Cancer Moon and a Leo Rising, it tells you the WHOLE STORY.

How I Fell In and Out of Love with Cultural Appropriation.

It turns out that looking for love can be a full-time job.

The Book Of Life’s self-knowledge questionnaire is rad.

House-witching politics, or, is smudging your house cultural appropriation? The comments are fascinating.

Who was the real Jessica Rabbit? So cool.

 

 

Love always,

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