How To Get Yourself Unstuck (And Massively Increase Your Personal Power)

Veronica Varlow and Gala Darling

Veronica sashayed into the juice shop. Standing 5’10” (not counting her heels), with a cranberry sun-dress swirling around her hips, and a halo of red flowers around her head, she lit up the entire room.

We were at 3 Roots in Greenpoint. Before she arrived, I had already ordered a smoothie made with coconut water, strawberries, beet powder, raw honey, coconut oil, rose water, mint oil, vanilla and tulsi. It tasted like a flower garden, and the flavour of it on my tongue perfectly matched my vision of Veronica.

The first time we met, Veronica and I were in a dark room, underground. She invited me to one of her notorious magic Fight Club classes, and I walked down a dimly-lit hallway, no idea of what I would find on the other side of the door. What I discovered was a world of badass babes who dreamed big, encouraged one another, and took massive action. Veronica served as muse, telling stories, leading rituals, and inspiring us to dream bigger, wilder, bolder. Instant #girlcrush. We’ve been friends ever since.

Whenever we spend time together, we talk a million miles a minute: brainstorming, plotting, and helping one another figure out the next step. We have a very unique relationship, based on a foundation of unconditional adoration and mutual support. We will do whatever it takes to help each other manifest as many of our dreams as possible.

As we walked around Greenpoint, we started discussing our mutual goals, and how truly essential it is to surround yourself with co-conspirators. As we talked, something Veronica said stuck out to me.

“When you can’t feel happy for other people, and you resent their success, watch yourself stay stuck.”

Amen!

Gala Darling and Veronica Varlow

I’ve been thinking a lot about business frenemies (as mentioned in Theresa’s recent post). There are a lot of people who seem to be on your team on an everyday basis, but when things get really good, it’s fascinating to see how things unravel.

One of the easiest frenemy tests is to see how people respond when you tell them some amazing news. It’s not just whether they are happy for you or not. Their response can be one of four categories: passive destructive (they ignore the news), active destructive (they diminish the news), passive constructive (they acknowledge the news half-heartedly), or active constructive (they engage wholeheartedly). It’s a fascinating topic — you can read more about it here.

Feeling jealous or envious of another woman’s success is an indication of your subconscious beliefs. If you feel slighted when someone else does well, that shows that you have a mindset of scarcity. You believe that if she is successful, you can’t be. It indicates that you think there is not enough money, opportunity, customers, love, or attention to go around.

I believe the opposite. I believe that when my sister succeeds, knocks it out of the park, or has a massive professional triumph, that lifts all of us higher!

Jealousy can be a gift: it shows us what we want from our own lives. Sometimes what we want is buried so far beneath the surface that jealousy is the only thing that coaxes it out. Let’s be real though — jealousy never feels like a gift. It feels like hell. And it doesn’t just feel bad: it keeps us stuck.

Obsessing over what someone else is doing is a distraction. You can’t move your own life forward when you’re constantly looking over your shoulder to see what everyone else is up to. In order to change your life and move dramatically onward, you need to enlist laser focus and stay on your grind!

Society tells us to be in constant competition with each other. Who’s skinniest? Who’s wealthiest? Who’s got a more perfect-looking life? None of that stuff matters. While we’re busy squabbling amongst ourselves, we’re still earning 70 cents to every dollar a man gets for the same work. Let’s not kid ourselves: we have bigger problems than who can fit into a smaller dress size.

Radical Self Love

As I say in my book

“We are constantly being taught to see women as competition, rather than people who need you and can make your life better. Make the mental leap, and fuck the status quo! We are so much more powerful when we’re together!” — Radical Self Love: A Guide to Loving Yourself and Living Your Dream

The key to getting unstuck in your own life is to learn how to become wildly excited for your friend’s success. Recognise that there is no lack, no scarcity: if she can do it, so can you! Use your jealousy and see what it’s telling you. Ask yourself what you can learn from what your friend did. Success is never about “luck”: it’s a result of knowledge and concerted effort. Those things are totally within reach!

When you can be happy when you see other women who are slaying it, you know that you’re on the right track.

Remember, too, that you never know exactly what is going on in someone’s life. They may be getting married but their career is a wreck; their mother might be terminally ill; they may be dealing with a crisis of faith underneath that perfectly-applied red lipstick.

Have compassion for others as well as for yourself. You are exactly where you need to be, right in this moment. Accept all of that, and recommit yourself to your dreams!

I love you (and I’m cheering for you!),

P.S. If you’d like to attend Veronica’s awesome Underground class but you’re not in NYC, you can do it online! Yay, internet!

P.P.S. I asked my Facebook babes whether they had ever felt jealous of another woman’s success, and what they did (if anything) to change their perspective. Their answers were fascinating.

P.P.P.S. Want more on this topic? Check out I’m Jealous Of Other Women! or How To Deal With The Green-Eyed Monster When It Threatens To Get The Best Of You.

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Carousel: Female Rock Stars, The Sexiest Creative Pursuits, And Swapping Bourbon For A Bong!

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Meow, kittens! I hope you’ve had a wonderful month. It has been a BIG one, no?! I’m gearing up to head over to Europe in a week and a half, and I’m so excited! Bring it on!

Here are some of the smartest, weirdest, and funniest things I found online this past month. Enjoy! (And by the way, if you want a little taste of this every week, sign up for my newsletter! I send out a handful of links just like this in every email.)

Whisper porn is real!

What’s the opposite of FOMO? FOGO!

Maybe we should swap the bourbon for a bong.

Chrissy Teigen has stopped editing her Instagram photos, and this is why.

What happened to the female rock star?

Try some of these unique birthday rituals next time your solar return rolls around!

I liked this a lot: The days are long but the decades are short.

Here’s how 4 of the world’s most connected people network.

Amy Schumer is awesome. Especially ‘Girl You Don’t Need Makeup’!

The difference between hahaha and hehehe. (I used heheh as a teenager. Now I’ve switched to hahah. How about you?)

5 reasons why every witch needs to ditch the Standard American Diet right now…

What forms of creativity turn you on? This article also features lists of the 10 sexiest — and least sexy — creative pursuits.

This woman gave up her $95k job to move to the Caribbean and scoop ice cream.

Slave girl no more: a guide to the phases of womanhood.

For my astrobabes: what to read when you’re having a transit.

I loved this post on the internal marriage (a commitment to ourselves, aka radical self love!). It’s a take on David Whyte by my old buddy Sarah Wilson.

Tim Ferriss has some practical thoughts on suicide.

If you’re going to Vegas, you need to see this secret light show! Hallucinations, oh my!

You can book a crying room in Tokyo…

You’ll get more sign-ups if your homepage is minimal.

The one thing that increases my happiness by James Altucher is a really beautiful piece about friendship.

Here’s a comprehensive collection of comedians tweeting about their flights. Some of it is nonsense, but some of it is GREAT.

How should you treat the homeless? Pretty common sense stuff, really, but it’s an eye-opener.

You can pay $4k to feel what it’s like when you die. The goal is to combat suicide rates in Korea.

You’re never going to retire. This idea can be exhausting… Or it can be liberating. (Your choice!)

“Smart women don’t retire. They break free from working full-time to living full-time.” — Gail Rentsch

This girl shut down her school’s sexist dress code with a simple note.

Paul Jarvis wrote an awesome post which asks, What do you do when the trolls come marching in?

Progress as a creative is impossible if we let our fear dictate our actions and our art. It’s why Seth Godin doesn’t have comments on his website. We should be more concerned with our work being an honest representation of ourselves than hoping it’s not going to offend anyone.

Anne Lamott on why she hates Mother’s Day. It’s a really intense piece but it’s an interesting point of view!

Jay-Z and Beyonce want to put you in a vegan state of mind.

An open letter to all my friends who take selfies. Awwww!

This is a terrible piece on how NYC manicurists are underpaid and unprotected, and another one on how manicurists are being poisoned, getting cancer, and having miscarriages because they constantly handle chemicals. And if this bothers you — and it should! — here’s how to be a socially-conscious nail salon customer. This story just kept on growing and growing: after it came out, they announced a nail salon grading system may be in the works, and Governor Cuomo ordered emergency measures to protect workers. Right on!

Alanis Morisette’s Jagged Little Pill was a powerful, DIY feminist statement back when it came out in 1995! This is a look back at the making of the album.

It turns out that diet and religion are very similar.

Here’s why you should go to the movies alone — and do other stuff alone, too! #radicalselflovedate forever!

Science says lasting relationships come down to two basic traits.

Lifelong friends built a row of tiny houses in the middle of nowhere. Aw.

Running a small biz? What you can learn from “Big Evil Corporations” who are making money hand over fist.

Want to live in a castle? You could… But not if you wear mascara more than twice a week, have a psychiatric prescription, or have attended more than one protest. (WOW.)

Cosmic Cuties! “Your stretch marks are like awesome little lightning bolts.”

These illustrations made me happy.

I loved Martha Stewart’s top shelf (an interview about the beauty products she uses). The comments crack me up too — I like this one, which said, “You can just FEEL how little bullshit she puts up with… it’s a pretty crazy thing how someone’s top shelf can be empowering.”

Feminist Lisa Frank is a good Tumblr.

I loooove Yoko Ono. You should too. (Read the article, then go see her show at MoMA!)

Agency is a really, really funny web show about a creative advertising firm. And it was filmed in New Zealand so it’s riddled with cute accents. I recommend!

Did you know there are small charter flights dedicated to helping you join the Mile High Club? One such operation is called FlamingoAir (yes!) and their service is called “flights of fancy”. HA! Here are some raunchy tales from one of their pilots.

Here’s what to do after you have a breakthrough. (You’re going to shrink after you expand, so, listen closely.)

There are now plenty of options for solo travellers.

In Boston, they take parking spaces really seriously.

No food, no farts, no drama.

HAHAHA.

The man in apartment 105 needs to cover up.

Dear young gay couple in 1993…

This is just… Wow.

A guide to dining with a Sugar Baby, from a Beverly Hills Sugar Daddy. This guy is a massive douche, but, you know… It’s always interesting to know how other people live.

I’m not lying. It’s just that the truth has changed. (I love this. Powerful.)

Trigger warning: Rapists explain themselves on Reddit, and we should listen.

Theresa Reed wrote a killer post about business frenemies. Read up!

“Most of us have been taught to “be nice” and use indirect forms of aggression when we are upset. So when we sense that the Power Dead-Even Rule has been violated, we stomp off, gossip, snipe, snub, and withhold friendship” … “This indirect form of aggression, which is automatic to us, maintains the power and self-esteem of the person who feels angry and powerless.”

How would the gods and characters of antiquity portrayed in classical paintings look if they appeared alongside us in the modern world?

Here are 7 reasons women need to support other women.

Michelle was a “proud non-breeder”. Then she changed her mind.

An oral history of Betsey Johnson’s career, as told by John Cale, Cyndi Lauper, Fern Mallis, Patricia Field, and more.

If you’re not reading Hiya Tootsie! yet, what the hell is WRONG with you?! Read the whole thing, back to front. Heather is a JOYFUL BADASS.

I am not sorry for any of the choices I’ve made to chase the kind of life I want and nail it to the wall. Is it hard? Yes. Am I sorry? Not by a long shot. I carry a .905 joy caliber that blasts holes through the mundane, the expected, and the just ok. Make no mistake, this confidence does not come from a place of princess entitlement. It comes from a place of practicing a woman’s worth. I refuse to apologize for my worth. Hop on board this train with me and I promise you will never look back.

Here are 20 super-weird Barbie dolls.

Louise writes about how you can be positive and still say no with aplomb!

Why are there so many shuttered storefonts in the West Village? Sad…

Did you know that acupuncture can help heal heartbreak? Interesting stuff!

The Everything Guide to the Early Morning. I find it tricky to wake up early, but when I do, it feels so rewarding! This article is a good reminder not to hit the snooze button every morning…

Veronica wrote about how to get wildly inspired, but really, it’s about dreams, poison, and rocking it OUT with your favourite co-conspirators.

It was on that night, I revealed my dreams, and what brought me to NYC. The bartender was about 5 years older than me and while everyone nodded along with her, she said something like this…. “You need a backup plan. I think it’s cute that you’ve got this wild imagination but that stuff doesn’t usually pan out. I don’t mean to burst your bubble or anything…..” And then she went on and on about how “real life” works. I started to feel faint.

The internet talks like a woman.

Here’s what happens when the internet destroys everyday people.

16 Women With the Perfect Responses to Questions About Their Love Lives.

Here’s how to handle crippling anxiety. Step #1? Have an orgasm!

The truth about poo: we’re doing it wrong.

I absolutely love Louis C.K. Here’s how he became the King of Comedy. (Hint: it wasn’t as easy, glamorous, or “fun” as you might think.) This essay is wonderful, too.

But I don’t look back with any regrets or bitterness about my path. A [quicker] path can get you to the end quicker, and you don’t want to go so fast. You, know, I’m so glad I didn’t get cast on SNL. I’m way better off because I host it now.

I definitely have huge benefits to how well I’m doing, but you do find yourself missing the climb. It’s a little like Mount Everest. When you summit, you spend about 20 minutes up there, and you do a little dance, but if the 20-minute dance was really it, would you really risk your life for the amount of work it takes to get up and down? So every time I feel like I’ve found a clearing, I try to find something else that I don’t know how to do yet. That’s just much more interesting to me.

International playgirls, take note: here’s how to fit 30 outfits into your carry-on! (I think I need one of those packing envelopes…)

Karl Pilkington is hilarious. I cackled SO hard at the first one…

Here’s the sober science behind ‘Drunk In Love’.

 

 

 

Love always,

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Don’t Let Mercury Retrograde Kick Your Ass!

Don't let Mercury retrograde kick your ass!

Few things throw the Universe out of whack like Mercury retrograde. I have written about it extensively, but on Monday, I felt the urge to make a video about how to survive Mercury retrograde with class and grace!

As you are probably aware, Mercury is retrograde from the period of May 19th to June 11th 2015.

I didn’t want you to suffer alone! So I changed into my sparkliest pink kaftan — it felt appropriate — and sat in front of my window to give you 10 tips to survive Mercury retrograde… As well as a couple of things to avoid during this tricky time!

Click play to watch! (If you’re viewing this via email, this is the direct video link.)

 

So when your friend grizzles this week about how their computer is frozen — but insists that astrology is a load of rubbish — be sure to send them this video!

Much love,

For more info, be sure to check out 10 Magical Ways To Make The Most Of Mercury Retrograde and How To Survive Mercury Retrograde!

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Five Things I’m Loving Lately: Gardens, Coffee Dates, And Aura Photography!

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There are always so many things to be thankful for, and when the Sun finally comes out for good, I feel even more ecstasy coursing through my veins than usual. Sunlight streams into Darling HQ, hitting the crystals in my window and making rainbows dance all over the walls. The trees thrill us with pink blossoms before exploding with fat green leaves. It’s perfectly appropriate to bust out the Tan Towels, jump on a Citibike, and spend hours in a park, doing nothing at all. It’s my favourite time of year.

There is a lot going on around here lately, and it would be easy to get overwhelmed. Instead, I’m choosing to see the best in everything and everyone, pacing myself, and rocking out that silver lining.

Below are five things that have brought joy to my life lately… And some suggestions for how you can bring a little bit more happiness into your life!

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COMMUNITY GARDENS

New York City is a weird and beautiful place, where lovely things spring from dire circumstances. In the 1970s, the city was pretty much the worst place ever, and President Gerald Ford was quoted as telling the city to drop dead (even though he didn’t actually say that). The city was in financial ruin and the population dropped by a million people, leading to the abandonment of a lot of public and private land. The good news? Some of those derelict lots were turned into miniature gardens by people who lived nearby.

The Department of Parks and Recreation initiated a program called GreenThumb which oversees these community gardens. They are all over the city, in every borough: some are full of flowers, others are farms, and the best part? They’re all open to the public.

The day after I returned from Tulum, I attended a volunteer orientation day at my favourite community garden, 6BC. I’ve been in love with it ever since I first peeked through its gate, and I don’t think it is an exaggeration to say it is the most glorious garden in the East Village. It has a fish pond full of koi, a grape arbor (with solar panels!), picnic tables, a grotto, and — my favourite feature — a killer treehouse.

On orientation day, I pitched in for a few hours, learning about pruning trees, chopping up branches with a big pair of shears, and getting to know my neighbours. It was such a great way to spend a morning, and I came home feeling really grounded and positive.

Now I have a key to the garden (hooray!), and I’m looking forward to spending many afternoons lounging inside. I can’t wait to learn more about plants and be more involved in my neighbourhood! Yay!

Why don’t you… Research community gardens in your area? Or plant some seeds in your own backyard? Or help someone else out with their garden? Digging in the dirt feels really, really good — you won’t believe me until you try it for yourself!

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AURA PHOTOGRAPHY

I’ve wanted to have my aura photographed for ages but somehow, had never made it down to Chinatown to get it done. On Saturday, after taking a boat trip to see the Statue of Liberty with my friend Jake, he asked, “What’s the weirdest thing we could do right now?”

It was the perfect opportunity. We walked into Magic Jewelry, had our auras photographed, and then sat down for a pretty in-depth reading. The woman explained to us that an aura picture basically tells you about how you’re feeling right now, plus the last 3 weeks, and the next 3 weeks to come. The readings were freakishly accurate, and very detailed — we were so impressed, especially for $20!

Plus, I’m really psyched to have a rainbow aura photo to put on my fridge!

Why don’t you… Google “aura photography” in your city? Be sure to check out Radiant Human, too: she travels the USA (and soon the UK) with her gear!

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PLANNING TRIPS

Next month is going to be wonderful. After our Blogcademy class in London, Kat, Shauna and I are heading to Florence, VeniceRome, and — the place I’m most excited about — Marrakech!

I’ve wanted to visit Morocco for the longest time, and now it’s finally happening! I just snapped up a 1970s rainbow kaftan to swan about in, and I can’t wait to be in a totally different environment. Squee! Of course, Italy won’t be bad, either… Have you been to any of those places? I’d love to hear your tips and advice over on Facebook!

Why don’t you… Watch some travel documentaries (I love all of Anthony Bourdain’s travel shows) and decide on the next place you want to visit? Even if you can’t book a flight straight away, it’s wonderful for the soul to daydream, imagine new places, and have a goal that stimulates all the senses!

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INSPIRING COFFEE DATES

SARK was the first self-help author I ever read. In the depths of my depression, when I lived in Auckland, I would go to Borders, sit on the floor, and thumb through her books for hours. One of my favourite lines from her How To Be An Artist poster was “Invite someone dangerous to tea.” Whenever I read that line, I imagined a beautiful future, where I was living in a house full of rainbows, pouring out cups of peppermint tea for a selection of wonderful miscreants and delightful minxes.

A couple of weeks ago, I realised that I’m already living that dream. One Tuesday, after an hour of Pilates, I received an email from James Altucher: “I’m in Soho, want to grab coffee?” I was downtown in a New York minute, and we spent the next two hours talking, plotting, and laughing. It was great.

It was my first time meeting him. I interviewed him a couple of months ago for Miracle Worker and it was a riot, but hanging out in person was even better. Few things are as fun as meeting someone who inspires you, uplifts you, and gives you a good kick in the ass!

Why don’t you… Invite someone you admire on a coffee date? Most people will say yes, simply because coffee is such a small commitment. Arm yourself with some smart questions, and get into it!

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BEING REALLY AND TRULY IN THE PRESENT

I’m focussing a lot on being in the moment, primarily through breathing, speaking mindfully, and walking meditation. (I picked up a copy of Be Here Now last month which is inspiring me a lot!) It feels great.

For example, when I was in Tulum, our hotel’s wifi signal was slim to none, and after a couple of days of constantly trying to Instagram, I basically gave up. Instead, I gave in to just being where I was, and it was delicious.

Another thing I’ve been doing is taking snapshots of my mood. I took the photo above after an extremely exciting encounter, and I wanted a memory of the moment. You can practically feel the joy coming through the screen! It’s just like Ellen said in last week’s post: when you recognise joy, you have to hold onto it. When happiness happens, make a note of it!

Why don’t you… Make a commitment to focussing your energy on this moment, right here and right now? For extra bonus points, take photos of your best moods… And label them #radicalselfielove! Ha!

Much love,

Photos by Made U LookAlice Olive, Magic Jewelry.

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10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

No matter who you are, we all have bad days from time to time. It’s a natural and normal part of life. However, even though your sadness might be screaming at you to stay inside and never wash your hair again, you still have the ability to do something to turn your day around!

That is one of the most incredible things about living on this planet: we have free will, and in every single moment, we get to choose how we want to feel.

It can be really tempting to dive into bad habits or take the path of least resistance, and slip further into your sadness… But it won’t make you feel any happier. Next time you’re feeling unhappy and you think your life sucks, try one (or all!) of the following.

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

AVOID THE NEGATIVE AND EMBRACE THE POSITIVE

Often when we feel bad, we find ourselves subconsciously gravitating towards things that will make us feel worse. So my suggestion is to avoid conspiracy theories, the news, and particularly depressing documentaries, no matter how hypnotic and fascinating they might be.

If you find yourself browsing Youtube for Louis Theroux’s bleakest documentaries, STOP! Choose to spend your time on things that will make you feel good, like unabashedly silly comedies (e.g. Zoolander) and uplifting documentaries (e.g. The Eye Has To Travel).

In fact, here’s a list of 33 Movies To Watch When You’re Feeling Sad, Glum Or Bummed Out.

When life sucks, don’t forget to laugh and seek out things that will open your eyes to beauty.

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

LAVENDER OIL ÜBER ALLES

Every babe with even the slightest magical inclinations should have a big bottle of lavender oil in her domicile. It smells incredible, it’s relaxing, it lifts your spirits, and it will help you sleep soundly too. I not-so-secretly believe that lavender oil can solve pretty much any problem you throw at it.

Go wild with lavender oil! Saturate your clothes, skin, and house with it. Add it to your bath, humidifier, and oil burner. Dab it on your wrists and your pillow. Inhale the scent deeply when you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or sad. Let it open you up and dissolve any tension. Total magic.

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE

Even though you might swear there nothing will feel better than staying in your grey sweatpants and lying in a horizontal position, I’m here to break it to you. You’re wrong! Use a bit of soap and some mascara. Resist the urge to dress in black head-to-toe. Lace up your sneaker wedges and head out into the world.

You don’t have to do anything too crazy. Go and sit in a park for a while, or take your dog down to the river. Ride your bike around and drink an almond milk latte. Feel the sunshine on your face, watch people walk by, and remember that this sinking feeling, this despair, this existential crisis, is temporary. This too will pass. I promise.

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

POLISH UP YOUR GREEN THUMB

Bring a little bit of nature into your home and it will make you feel just a little bit happier. Buy some plants and put them in your window and next to your workspace. Make your creative area — you do have one, right? — a place you want to be. Clear out the clutter and replace it with green, living things.

In fact, if you don’t know where to begin bringing a little nature inside, here are some magical houseplants to attract love, joy and prosperity into your life!

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

RECOGNISE JOY AND HOLD ONTO IT

When I was talking to my friend Ellen a couple of nights ago, she told me about something she had learned from a course called Awakening Joy.

Ellen said that one of the secrets of happiness is to really recognise joy when you experience it. You might be walking along the street and feeling terrible, but if you see a colourful flower or you’re struck by the beauty of the sun shining through the leaves, stop right where you are. Say to yourself, ‘This is so beautiful! This is happiness. I am feeling happiness in this moment.’

Then, do your best to hold onto that feeling for thirty seconds. Let it radiate through your body, allow your bones to marinate in the positivity. The point? Firstly, it’ll help you see the happiness in tiny moments. And secondly, you’re training your brain to recognise joy, which makes it easier to be aware of it in the future. Pretty awesome.

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

DO SOMETHING CREATIVE

One of the easiest ways to get yourself out of a funky mental situation is to do something creative, because it forces you to use another part of your brain. (Art therapy exists for a reason!) Don’t put any pressure on yourself: you don’t have to write the next Great American Novel! Just take it slow and have fun.

Grab a colouring book and lose yourself in kaleidoscopic colours, or doodle weird little characters while you half-watch old episodes of Sex & The City. Make a mess with pastels or fold little origami stars. Rearrange your bookshelf by colour or put little flower arrangements in each room of your house. Enjoy yourself! Get consumed by colour and you’ll remember the world isn’t so bad after all.

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

REMINISCE

There’s a reason why we love watching movies we’ve seen before, and why songs released in 2001 light us up like human-shaped Christmas trees. It makes us feel good! It’s comforting, and it actually makes us feel more optimistic about the future. Indulge that impulse!

Listen to music that takes you back to a comforting, fun time in your life. Lately for me, a playlist called 90’s House Party 2000’s Hangover has been doing the trick. the same goes for movies or books you love: load up on the stuff that nourishes your soul, no matter how silly.

This is an especially powerful thing to do during Mercury retrograde, which is all about looking back at your past and acknowledging it. You’ve done so much and you’ve come so far. Celebrate that!

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

DIVE HEAD-FIRST INTO FEELING GOOD

I’ve written oodles of lists over the years full of ideas to make you feel happy again. If you’re not sure where to start, check out 100 Ways To Be A Love Letter To The Universe, 10 Really Easy Ways You Can Love Yourself More Today, 100 Things To Do When You’re Upset (The Sad Trombone List), 100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now, 10 Ways To Snap Yourself Out Of A Slump, and 50 Ways To Put The Light Back In Your Heart.

I mean, damn. That’s 370 ideas right there!

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

DISCOVER YOUR BEST TRAITS

One of the exercises from week one of Miracle Worker is to email 10 friends and ask them what your three best qualities are. This can be extremely nerve-wracking, but everyone who has done it has been delighted with what they received. (A really nice way to keep the circle of love going is to reply with their three best qualities. Everyone wins!)

The reason why we suggest this exercise is because it can be so hard to see our best attributes, especially when we’re not feeling great about ourselves or our lives. The truth is that we are our own biggest critics, and so taking the leap and asking for someone else’s opinion can help us wake up to our own magnificence. You are rad as fuck, and you should know it!

10 Ways To Jolt Yourself Into Happiness

TALK TO A DOCTOR

If you just can’t seem to regulate your thoughts, if you’re thinking about suicide or how much better life would be if you ceased to exist, it’s essential that you talk to a professional. Feeling this way is not your “fault”, and it doesn’t make you defective or flawed. It’s just an illness that needs to be treated — and urgently.

You are way too magnificent to spend another day feeling terrible about who you are and what you’re capable of. I believe in you! Take care of yourself and the people around you.

Love forever (and ever and ever),

Images by Todd Weaver, Krashing Motions Photography, Best Friends For Frosting, Jack Yong, Miranda Skoczek.

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