No Matter What Happens, It’s Your Attitude That Matters

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Every day, we have a choice about how we see the world. We can open our eyes wide with wonder, and decide to be amazed and thankful. Or we can choose to approach life with a cynical squint: with our eyes half-closed, we see only the worst in people, circumstances, and situations.

Driving back to our apartment in Berlin yesterday, our friend Shell said, “The way I see it, everyone has to go through the same shit. The only difference is how you approach it. You can smile and say ‘Oh well’ and move on, or you can turn everything into a woe-is-me drama. Making every situation dramatic doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. I choose to look on the bright side, because it makes life more pleasant.”

Caught in the rain? Whinge about it, or enjoy the sensations. Stuck in traffic? Grumble and curse, or sing along to your favourite songs. Feeling homesick in a foreign country? Keep thinking about all the things you miss, or fully immerse yourself in the culture.

You can see life as a grand adventure, or as a huge pain in the ass. Up to you!

“Love is not enough; intelligence is not enough; powerful strength is not enough. You may put everything on one side of the scale, but if you are missing gratitude, you shall lose. ” (Yogi Bhajan)

Silver linings and all,

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Radical Self Love Letters

Carousel: Badass Women, Life-Changing Passwords, And $500 Houses

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Greetings from Berlin! Hoorah! I can’t wait to explore the city with Shauna and Kat. Since I’ve been travelling so much this month, I haven’t done quite as much reading as normal… But I think you will still find plenty here to keep you entertained!


What does it mean to be a wellness coach? I will be speaking at ICWC School this year, so read up, and don’t miss out!

Bulimia comes out of the closet.

The Secret History Of Britney Spears’ Lost Album. Ten years ago, Britney Spears said she was working on an album called Original Doll, but her label denied its existence. The search for Britney’s “lost album,” and the freedom that still eludes her.

Is it time for us to take astrology seriously?

Failure To Launch: How New Mexico Is Paying For Richard Branson’s Space Tourism Fantasy. One of the poorest states in the nation has invested nearly a quarter of a billion dollars and 10 years in creating a hub for Richard Branson’s space tourism company, Virgin Galactic. Some see it as the crown jewel of a new space age while others call it a carnival for the 1 percent — but with persistent delays and mounting financial strain, Spaceport America is just trying to avoid becoming New Mexico’s costliest, most futuristic ghost town.

This guy bought a house in Detroit for $500.

The Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee episode featuring Sarah Jessica Parker is probably my favourite of them all.

A beautiful post from Justine, on why perfect cleavage isn’t enough. She also wrote 10 quick thoughts regarding badass women.

Style, then, is how you tell the story of yourself to the world: not just in how you dress, but do what you do and make what you make. Style is your soulprint, your own creative twist on life. It is not some clever affectation that others can copy, but an ever-evolving expression of your passage through the world.

This guy’s password changed his life. Aw! This story gave me tingles.

Clicking their way to outrage. It’s like road rage, but on the internet.

I’m pretty amazed by the world’s most dangerous amusement park. Watch the videos! OMG!

If you were the BEST in the world at what you do, how would you behave?

I am so on board with #healthgoth.

If you’ve just been through a break-up, you may feel temporarily insane. This is why: this is your brain on a break-up.

How is it that we end up marrying the wrong people?

We recreate in adult relationships some of the feelings we knew in childhood. It was as children that we first came to know and understand what love meant. … The love we knew as children may have come entwined with other, less pleasant dynamics: being controlled, feeling humiliated, being abandoned, never communicating, in short: suffering. As adults, we may then reject certain healthy candidates whom we encounter, not because they are wrong, but precisely because they are too well-balanced (too mature, too understanding, too reliable), and this rightness feels unfamiliar and alien, almost oppressive. … We marry the wrong people because the right ones feel wrong – undeserved; because we have no experience of health, because we don’t ultimately associate being loved with feeling satisfied.

Why are straight men so bad at oral sex?

What does Sarah Wilson eat on planes? Some good tips here for healthy international playgirls.

Love People, Not Pleasure: on happiness, unhappiness, fame, and goals.

Some had “intrinsic” goals, such as deep, enduring relationships. Others had “extrinsic” goals, such as achieving reputation or fame. The scholars found that intrinsic goals were associated with happier lives. But the people who pursued extrinsic goals experienced more negative emotions, such as shame and fear. They even suffered more physical maladies.

Who, exactly, is buying J.Crew’s XXXS clothes? Good question. The answer, somewhat predictably, is petite Asian women, their newest market. But mostly this piece is about vanity sizing, and it’s fascinating.

A professor at NYU has started The Casual Sex Project, a collection of stories about one-night stands. Got a tale to tell? Send it in!

The other true story behind Orange Is The New Black. Larry’s story.

Is there a dark side of cosplay?

It’s surprisingly easy to be a fake rich kid of Instagram, because these days, you can just rent luxury.

An artist is sending flowers into space.

12 of the best Humans Of New York posts. Love HONY!

A famous novelist is tweeting a new short story.

I mentioned Unlocking The Truth, a sixth grade metal band, AGES ago. Anyway, they just signed a $1.8 million record deal based off one Youtube video. So badass!

Here’s how to plan a creative retreat.

The daily schedules of creative geniuses. Fascinating stuff.

What’s it like to be an entertainer on a cruise ship?! I mean, wow.

I Left Facebook, And You Can Too. Facebook doesn’t want to strengthen your relationship with loved ones. It wants to strengthen your relationship with Facebook.

20 signs you’re succeeding at life, even if you don’t feel like you are. Awesome!

…And finally, Weird Al Yankovic released a new album, which is hilarious, and he explains how he conquered the internet.

 

 

Big love,

Photo by Gray Malin.

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Things I Love Thursday: A European Adventure!

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Good morning! Today is our last day in the U.K. before we jet off to Berlin tomorrow. I’m absolutely beside myself about going back to Germany — I love it there — and in addition to teaching there this weekend, we have Monday and Tuesday free to explore before we head to Amsterdam. The excitement, it is real!

I haven’t been to Berlin or Amsterdam since the very early 2000s, when my boyfriend and I flew all the way from New Zealand to see the Legendary Pink Dots play a few shows. That was my first real trip abroad as an adult, and I am a much more confident traveller these days! It will be wonderful to see those cities through a different lens, with two adventurous babes by my side!

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It has been an action-packed trip so far, that’s for sure. I kicked off my first international Radical Self Love Salon last Friday underneath an enormous disco ball (it. was. MAGNIFICENT), and went straight into two days of The Blogcademy at Curtain Road. We had one day off, exploring London — from Shoreditch to Bond Street — before jumping back into another two days of teaching. Madness! But wonderful madness, all the same!

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Last night after class, Loulou took Kat, Shauna, Sophie and I to dinner at Shoreditch House. It was pretty amazing: a rooftop pool, unlimited candy, a free photobooth, and a thoroughly ridiculous cast of characters. The food was incredible, too. I had pea and mint soup (my new obsession), grilled salmon with teeny-tiny mushrooms, and a chocolate torte which rocked my world. I also slurped on a lavender cocktail: delicious!

Tonight is our big Blogcademy party and you’re invited! There will be more fun than you can shake a stick at. Come out and dance with us!

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On the love-o-meter lately… The splendour that is ABC Carpet and Home (And buying my very first big girl armchair) MAC lipstick (my new favourites are Happy Go Lucky and Show Orchid) Trawling around London with my camera Selfridges! The best! Chad Wys: I love his art so much! Hoi Polloi at the Ace Hotel (our new favourite restaurant) Ginger beer with every meal Pink roses everywhere Gifts of crystals  A thick stack of photobooth strips beside my bed  The pink transparent cutlery at Itsu  Sexy Post-It notes (they exist Playing with the Party Party app Really small (and really big) Diptyque candles Bounty ice-creams Dancing after class Perving in flower shops One-shouldered dresses Tan Towels! A summer essential!

Bunny kisses,

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#radicalselflovejuly: Week Three!

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Here we are again! I’m enjoying #radicalselflovejuly so much, and by the looks of things — with over 11,000 images — you are too! If you’re starting to fret because we’re getting near the end, never fear: I’m already plotting another Instagram challenge for the future. Hooray!


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DAY FIFTEEN: Your happy place

Good question: where do you go to be happy? Here are some answers: Emily dangles her feet in a pool, Kate levitates, and Emily Jayne blisses out in Cornwall.


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DAY SIXTEEN: Favourite quote

The variety in quotes was tremendous. Tyler thinks she could be brave enough, Torie is battling the demons of doubt, Ayanna is all about uniqueness, and Sarah’s primary intention is to feel good.

I picked Yogi Bhajan as my favourite quote… Though to be fair, as an almost-professional collector of quotes, it was hard to choose just one!


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DAY SEVENTEEN: Your city

There were so many fantastic photos on this day, spanning the globe from Panama to Omaha! I’ve picked these two as my favourites, though: Jessica lives la vie en rose in Paris, and Eleanor snapped the top of the Sky Tower in Auckland. I used to live on the same street as the Sky Tower, so seeing it is like a little taste of home!


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DAY EIGHTEEN: Inspiring friend

I loved this shot that Leonie posted of her friend, Pauline. It was amazing to read about how much love you all have for your BFFs: totally testament to the power of friendship.

…And I couldn’t resist sharing what Kate had to say about her London Radical Self Love Salon experience!

Today: INSPIRING FRIEND (couldn’t be anyone other than the beautiful @galadarling after today’s #radicalselflovesalon …anyone who can invite you into a secret coven in a back room in Kings Cross underneath a gigantic disco ball, nourish you with cherry bakewell flavoured potions in fine china & red velvet cake, cast spells in a mini cauldron & send you out into the world with a bag full (and bra-full) of rose petals gets my vote everytime!)


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DAY NINETEEN: Great outdoors

Since it’s summer in the Northern Hemisphere, I wanted to see how everyone is celebrating it! From the photos I picked, I noticed a water theme… Very summery indeed!

Agnes is raring and ready to go! Cassy jumped into the sea and had a good, salty splash-off after the Radical Self Love Salon, and Harissa went snorkelling in San Pedro.


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DAY TWENTY: RSL totem

It’s fascinating to me to see what other people use as their radical self love totems: little mementos which remind us to love ourselves. They can range from the impermanent, like jewellery, to the very, very permanent!

I love these tattoos on Athena and Sarah. Athena says her wing tattoos remind her to soar, to have patience and to be vibrantly self-expressed, while Sarah explains that her chest tattoo is all about radical self love and personal growth. Perfection!


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DAY TWENTY-ONE: Morning mantra

The question of the day: what do you tell yourself every morning? (I believe that the thoughts we think are potent, and that thinking positively first thing in the morning is massively beneficial. Here’s my morning mantra, in case you’re interested.)

There were some very bright colours on offer! Sarah knows today will be awesome, Nikki reminds herself to flow, allow and receive, Keri wants to keep on creating, and Eleanor will make great art.


Alright, we’re midway through a Blogcademy class, so it’s time to dash!

Kisses,

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Just Stop Doing It!

WILDFOX FALL/WINTER 13 photographed by Mark Hunter / The Cobrasnake

A definite perk of my job is that I get to spend time with a lot of incredible people. This is what happens when you put yourself out there: the people you always wished existed actually begin to make themselves known to you. (Just another reason to start a blog, if you ask me.)

Ask me about the most interesting people I’ve ever met, and Danielle LaPorte would be way up there on that list. It makes sense, then, that one of the highlights of our trip to Vancouver was when she pulled up outside our apartment, piled us into her car, and took us to Nuba for dinner. We sat down, ordered drinks — wine for Kat, sangria for Shauna, something spicy with tequila and lime for Danielle and me — and started talking about business.

As we discussed some of the systems, checks and balances we had in place at The Blogcademy, one of us mentioned that she didn’t enjoy doing one particular task. The other two chimed in in agreement.

“Here’s an idea,” Danielle said. “Just stop doing it.”

Saying those words felt radical, momentous. Freeing. Like being let out of bondage. And when we got back to the apartment, we continued talking about it. The days wore on, and the discussion became, “I can’t wait to stop doing that!”

That’s one of Danielle’s talents, I think. She reminds you that you have permission to simply stop doing the things that don’t thrill you anymore. She reminds you that you can change your mind, whenever you like.

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Years ago, I went to Selling Your Soul, an event featuring Danielle LaPorte and Marie Forleo. It was illuminating, to say the least. I scrawled pages and pages of notes, and a line that has always stuck out the most is this quote from Danielle: “Either find a way to make it fun, or find a way to get it off your plate.”

Passion is essential, or as Danielle would say, lack of passion can be fatal. If something has become tedious, it’s time to either find a way to make it enjoyable, scrap it, or outsource it.

So my question to you today is a simple one: what is one thing that no longer lights your fire? Now ask yourself, is there a way you could make it fun? Or is it time to leave it in the dust?

A little food for thought from cloudy England!

Big love,

Photos from Wildfox.

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