A Candy Pink Dress And A Whole New Silhouette

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Hello, again! It me, your intrepid narrator, hanging out with a bunch of really old rocks, and wearing one of my favourite dresses. It was from Pinup Girl Clothing’s Deadly Dames collection, but it looks like they stopped making it. You can buy the skirt as a separate though!

I can’t believe it’s already September, and summer is officially over. It’s grey outside, it rained overnight, and we’re heading into cozy times. (I’ve been swaddling myself in a baby pink cardigan — this one! — like it’s my job.) But these photos remind me of this summer and all the silliness that went down. Oh what a time it was it was, oh what a time it was.

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Look at them there rocks!

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It has been really fun to start experimenting with new silhouettes and try out different things stylistically. For the last decade, I’ve been wearing a uniform of sorts, and it almost always boiled down to a t-shirt with an A-line skirt and ankle boots.

But over the past year, my body has completely changed. (These photos were taken just over a year ago, for contrast.) My breast augmentation has played a big role in that, but it’s also been over a year now since I stopped eating sugar. My workouts are totally different too: I use my whole body and I think about fitness in a whole new way. (Thanks, genius boyfriend.) So that has led to me trying new looks, and let me tell you, it made getting dressed up this summer so much more enjoyable!

I’ve been investigating more form-fitting styles (hand me that bandage skirt!), rocking a pair of black denim cut-offs on the regular, and even wearing booty shorts to the gym! WHAT?! This time last year, I would have shrivelled up and died at the mere thought.

But the thing I’m discovering is that we can only smash our fears when we face them. When you wear booty shorts in public and no one dies, you realise it’s not a big deal after all. The only “big deal” is in your head. And that, my friend, you have the power to change.

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I’ve been getting so much joy out of dressing up lately, and it feels amazing. I’m not totally sure what my Fall/Winter style direction will be… But I’m excited to think about it!

Love always,

Photos by Made U Look Photography.

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When The Flame Of Your Passion Starts To Flicker

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No matter who you are and no matter what level you’re at, you will — at some point — inevitably feel stuck when it comes to your passion. You could be five years in or twenty years deep, but rest assured: this will happen to you!

However, expected or not, it still feels like shit. Questioning what you love and wondering whether you should bother is an epic bummer. It really can be a dark night of the soul moment. And while you might feel like you’re being endlessly thrown around on the cruel seas of your subconscious, no feeling lasts forever. You can get out of this position, but it will require some work.

Here’s what you should do.

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.” — Banksy

TAKE A BREAK. PLEASE!
We’re taught to push push push, no matter what. The fear is real: ‘If I stop now, will I be forgotten in a week?!’ We think that doing nothing would be worse than burning out, and that only goes to show how desperate our addiction to “doing” is. (If you’re not constantly doing, then there’s time for… Gasp… THOUGHTS! Emotions! Dealing with your actual life! How terrible!)

On her Magic Lessons podcast, Elizabeth Gilbert was speaking to an author who was having trouble writing her second book. She felt stuck and uninspired. Liz’s prescription? Don’t work on your book for a month. Do anything and everything else instead. Fill up your life with living. The author she gave this advice to said she initially thought, ‘Oh, good! I have permission to take a month off!’ But her next thought was, ‘I don’t know if I can stay away from it for 30 days… I have so much to say!’

This is exactly how a break should make you feel. If you end up charging back into your passion at the end of week two, that’s perfect. But if you need the full month, TAKE IT!

TALK TO FRIENDS WHO LOVE WHAT YOU LOVE
There are a few reasons why.

1. Most people outside your industry or interest will empathise with your plight but they won’t fully understand, simply because they haven’t really been there. It’s essential to talk to people who actually get it.

2. Commiserating can be a deeply healing experience. Sometimes, let’s face it, you just need to vent.

3. But the best reason to talk to your friends who are also artists, or teachers, or macrame enthusiasts, is that they will be able to brainstorm with you, and most crucially, they have the ability to connect you to people who can help.

As much as we all love to think that we can go it alone, that only works up to a certain point. Eventually, we have to reach out and expand. Our lives are only as rich as the relationships we have with other people. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friends or peers about what you’re facing, because, believe me, you are not alone.

WATCH DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT YOUR HEROES
I have yet to hear about a role model who was blessed with a flawless childhood, sailed from one grown-up success to another, and then died peacefully in her bed. Do you know why? Because that is not the stuff of heroes! Heroes struggle. They have their imperfections and inadequacies. The reason we love and revere our idols is because of their humanity.

If you’re feeling stuck or frustrated, one of the best things you can do is to get down in the trenches with your heroes. Watch a documentary about their life, and realise that a blemish-free history is not what makes life interesting. Everyone experiences trying times. The trying times are not what define you. The only thing that counts is how you bounce back.

If you don’t feel reinvigorated — and full of ideas — after watching a documentary about your #1 inspiration, I will eat my hat.

GOOGLE YOUR PROBLEM
This sounds so obvious, but it works! If you have writer’s block, google it. If you’ve lost your inspiration, google it. If you can’t find a good coach, google it!

As much as our problems cause us pain, grief, and anxiety, they are not unique or special. Thousands (if not millions) of people have had the exact same problem you’re going through right now, and the great thing about the internet is that everyone is sharing their stories and experiences.

You don’t need to constantly reinvent the wheel. As Tony Robbins is so fond of saying, “Success leaves clues.” Use other people’s ideas to get you out of your slump!

REMEMBER THAT ALL IS NOT LOST
Feeling stuck or unsure is not a sign of your lack of commitment, or weakness, or ineptitude. It is simply part of the evolution process.

Want to go really big? Doubt and distress are mandatory. In order to get to the next level of what you’re doing, you have to experience some pain and some discomfort. Those are the essential ingredients of transformation.

Don’t be afraid to look your pain in the eye and acknowledge its existence. The longer you dance around it, the bigger it will become. Invite your demons to brunch and have a nice, honest chat. Once you get a fix on the exact size and shape of your pain, you’ll have more information on how to maneuvre around it.

BUT, IF YOU FEEL STUCK ALL THE TIME…
Then maybe it’s time to call the whole thing off. If your passion has become more pain than pleasure, and if just thinking about it makes you want to go back to bed, it might be time to do something else.

It sucks to quit something that you’ve poured your essence into, but if it ceased to be fun a long time ago, then you have to listen to yourself and act accordingly.

Pushing through mindlessly is the not the road to success. It is the road to an ulcer.

The upside? Think of all the free time you’ll have to pursue something that truly gets you going. There’s nothing better than feeling excited about what you do, and you deserve to feel that way every single day.

Love,

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It’s My Birthday… And All My Classes Are $33!

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Happy birthday to me! Today I am 33 years old. I’m not totally sure how that happened but one thing’s for sure: it’s good to be alive. Last night, G and I went to see Louis C.K. at Madison Square Garden, and he was incredible. I’ve never seen better stand-up, and that includes all his past specials. (Bonus: Louis turned 49 yesterday, so it was an extra-special treat to see him on his birthday.)

This morning I woke up to six dozen roses — I don’t even have enough vases to hold them! — and I’m going to spend the rest of my day hanging out with friends. Life isn’t perfect, but I feel happy, and confident, and capable of mastering what this next year is going to throw my way.

Anyway, to celebrate my BIRTHDAY, I’m running a 24 hour sale on all my online classes! Everything is $33! WHAT?!

HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL?

CREATIVE?
RADICAL SELF LOVE BIBLE SCHOOL
$97 $33

Radical Self Love Bible School is a super-fun of uncovering your true self. Grab a blank sketchbook and some art supplies and get ready to change the way you see yourself! Over the course of 12 lessons, you’ll learn to dismantle the tyranny of perfection (and embrace your messy genius), unlock the creative side of yourself that has been hidden or squashed, discover how to carve out time for yourself, and fall in love with how incredibly awesome you are. You can learn more about Bible School here.

CONFIDENT?
DARE/DREAM/DO
$47 $33

DARE/DREAM/DO is your no excuses guide to kicking ass and taking names. If you have big dreams but you’re not sure how to bring them to fruition, this is the class for you. Every day for 30 days you’ll receive very direct instructions on how to manage your fear, expand your vision, and take concrete action that really works. (Seriously, it does. Read the testimonials!)

REBELLIOUS?
RADICAL SELF LOVE BOOTCAMP
$197 $33

Radical Self Love Bootcamp is my biggest class. If you’re truly ready to take responsibility for your life and become the supernova you know you can be, this is the one for you! Featuring six interviews, essays, transcripts and worksheets, you’ll tackle those thoughts that suffocate your self-esteem, learn how to TRULY love your body, discover how to stop feeling stuck, tango past your fears, find out how gratitude can change your life, and look closely at what it means to manifest miracles. You can read more about Bootcamp here.

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REBOOTED?
TAP THAT
$145 $33

Tapping is an incredible healing tool that you can do on your own, with no equipment, at any time you like. I used it to completely get rid of the asthma I’d had since I was a child, as well as depression and an eating disorder. I have never discovered a more incredible or effective way of changing things. You can read more about Tap That here.


Don’t forget, this sale is only in effect for 24 hours… So don’t dilly-dally!

I love you!

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These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things: September 2016

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Happy Monday! Welcome to a (long overdue) Favourite Things post. Usually these posts are a little bit more materialistic, and if that’s what you’re looking for, check out the older ones! But, as I have been alluding to, this is a really big time of transformation for me. I’ve been thinking a lot about the mind, reality, radical self love, creativity, and how many of us are trying to escape our pain. It has led me to some pretty interesting places in conversation with others, in my thought process, and on the internet.

Here are a few of the most thought-provoking things I’ve stumbled upon in the past week. I hope you enjoy them!

RUPAUL’S DRAG U
I’m such a massive fan of RuPaul, so I have no idea why I had never watched an episode of Drag U before. How did I miss this?! Drag U is a show where — essentially using the power of radical self love — three drag queens transform the lives of three women who have low self-esteem. It is AMAZING! I am obsessed. It’s useful, it’s uplifting, and it almost always brings tears to my eyes. The show streams on Amazon, so queue up a few episodes and get ready to have your perspective on life changed.

WHAT’S THE TEE?
RuPaul’s podcast with Michelle Visage is one of my new favourite things ever. I really love the podcasts where it’s just the two of them and they’re just having an average conversation, because they vacillate between fun pop culture chat and really deep existential shit. That having been said, my favourite episodes so far are when they interview Bianca Del Rio (so funny, and especially good if you’re a fan of Drag Race) and Henry Rollins (indispensable listening for anyone creative).

ELIZABETH GILBERT’S MAGIC LESSONS
Elizabeth Gilbert is a wonderful person. Did you hear the recent news about how she fell in love with her best friend? It made me adore her even more. She is such a stellar example of someone who is not just living her truth, but also experiencing the width of life. Her podcast, Magic Lessons, is a series of interviews with creative people, and it’s essential listening for writers. Two of my favourite episodes are with Neil Gaiman and Brene Brown. Get into it.

SUPERSOUL SUNDAY WITH GLENNON DOYLE MELTON
My incredible friend Louise Androlia, who is also going through a time of massive change, put me on to Glennon Doyle Melton. Her new book, Love Warrior, just came out, and so she was featured on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday. In this interview, they discuss being “perfect”, eating disorders and numbing out, infidelity, and how we can use pain as a tool for growth and transformation. It is excellent.

10% HAPPIER WITH DAN GILBERT
I found this interview by Googling “RuPaul podcast meditation” — just wondering if he had gone into the subject in some depth — and ding ding ding! This episode surfaced. I love hearing RuPaul talk about his meditation practice, observing his thoughts, the dark night of the soul, how life is not to be taken seriously, and the mystery of identity. It’s awesome.


 

Love and the longest hug ever,

Illustration from Ban.do.

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It’s Time To Throw Away Your Vision Board

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Babe, if you were with me on Facebook last night, you know that I am going through it. I am having a spiritual awakening, and it’s not some fluffy, namby-pamby nonsense. I feel like I am finally seeing without illusion for the first time in years.

A few days ago I woke up with an entirely new perspective on the world and how it works. How some “new age” concepts can be damaging. How we make excuses for ourselves constantly. How we are all desperately trying to escape our pain, and the ways we attempt to do that, and the way we dress it up as an “enlightened” process. How we place our power outside of ourselves, and how the only way to make real progress and change in our lives is to TAKE RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY and quite frankly, stop bullshitting ourselves.

That’s what I jumped onto Facebook Live to talk about last night. And girl… It got heated. I was ON. And I loved every minute of it. (Fair warning: I also swore a lot, so, be aware!)

Like I said… A lot of things have shifted for me in the year since my book got published, and I want to share them with you, because I believe that when we get really clear on what works and what doesn’t, nothing can hold us back. We can change our lives, transform our behaviour, and create the world we want because we know that the power is within us. And we don’t need anyone or anything else to “give” it to us. It’s inside us and it’s inherent and it’s dying to be unleashed.

I’d love it if you joined me for the Radical Self-Love Online Class. We get started on September 14th (the day after my birthday!), and it is going to blow your head off.

Yes baby.

Love to you,

Photo by Made U Look.

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