Oh lord, what a month. It has been so intense. But one upside to a total upending of all things we know to be true and decent? SO MANY THINKPIECES, so much intelligent discourse, so much creativity. So here are a few of the best things I uncovered this month.
For the first time ever, I’ve split this into two sections. All the political pieces that I found valuable are stacked together at the end. If you’re not into it, you can skip it easily. But even if you’re usually not keen on reading about this kind of thing, I really encourage you to pick at least one and give it a go. That old idea that we “shouldn’t talk about politics” only creates problems and a lack of understanding. Being informed and compassionate and action-oriented is sexy. That’s all!
If you’re in a long distance relationship, how should you communicate?
“I believe in the power and appropriateness of semiotics,” he said, referring to the study of signs and symbols. “The clothes we wear, the accessories we wear, the way we groom ourselves sends a message about how we want the world to perceive us. It’s a very important responsibility and we need to accept that. I don’t care how people [do it], as long as they own it.”
Shauna wrote about external validation and remembering that you’re good enough.
This guy… There are not enough eye rolls. He got a girl pregnant, insisted she didn’t get an abortion, and now she isn’t involved in raising the child at all. Which is what they agreed upon. This thread… I mean, the arrogance is unreal.
I looooooved Chrissy’s piece on learning to love her cellulite. I experienced a similar personal revolution when I started wearing short-shorts this summer. I thought it would be the END OF THE WORLD. Surprise! No one cares!
Psychedelics as a remedy for depression and anxiety.
In Sweden, there is now a hotline to report mansplaining. Ahahaha.
If you learn to be your own caregiver — organizing your emotions through things like journalling, contemplation, and consciously befriending yourself and “practicing autonomy” rather than insisting that the people close to you all text you four times a day — then, over time, you can arrive at one of the more empowering phrases in psychology: earned security. “You do not have to have had a secure childhood to have a secure adulthood,” Hoffman says. “But you have to have a road map.”
I loved this post from Chani on Scorpio season and what it means to take responsibility and be resilient.
New York is a very different place these days. Sleaze be gone: Buildings that housed New York’s former sex clubs have cleaned up their act.
A Fine Argument for Why Sex Is So Good. As if we needed more evidence…
A better way to understand the way people can lose their sense of selves during the act of sex is with trance, the same way that you might feel a sense of absorption on a particularly good night of dancing, a particularly strenuous yoga session, a particularly deep meditation, or a particularly satisfying run. “Intensely focusing on immediate sensations — such as those produced by rhythmic stimulation — is likely to reduce the amount of mental capacity available for other things.”
Speaking of which: The One Real Way to Get Better at Sex, According to a Sex Researcher.
We could probably all use this one about now. A Simple Way to Stay Grounded in Stressful Moments.
This is fascinating! Tim Robbins’s Prison Improv Classes Make Inmates Less Likely to Re-Offend.
If you went a little nuts this Black Friday/Cyber Monday, don’t worry. It could have been so much worse! Here are 5 shopping sprees so wild they made history.
What can you do if you have a gossiping boss? Other than quit, obviously. Hahah.
I love to use light and colour to influence the vibe of a space. If you do too, here are 27 Mood Lights to Keep You Happy, Relaxed, or Focused.
How to (Kind of) Master Your Neuroticism. This piece is great. The opposite of anxiety is exploration!
What does it mean when you feel “fat”?
There are four different types of introverts. Is it just me, or do people love studying introverts right now?
Kanye was just released from hospital recently. Here are a couple of pieces about that: Kanye West, Celebrity, and Why We Should Be Quiet and Listen and On Kanye West and the Disposal Of Black Women And Femmes’ Mental Health.
We could definitely use some of Swedish’s untranslatable words for relationships.
Here’s how to become someone people love to talk to.
Can you believe that Michael Jackson’s Dangerous is 25 years old?! The World It Saw Looks Like the Present.
Have you ever wondered how the kaftan went global?
Here’s an expert guide on how to be a good listener.
Good stuff from James Altucher. How To Diversify Your Life.
Pick the people who will be the most positive in your life. People who you can look up to, who can look up to you. Eliminate everyone else. Not in a cold or cruel way. But in a way that makes sure you put the importance back on yourself. Make sure you are your own center of gravity. Anyone whose gravitational pull becomes too great needs to be put on “Halley’s Comet” status – once every 76 years and that’s it.
We all know this already but it’s nice to have it backed up by science. Comparing Yourself to Facebook Friends Is Bad News for Your Mental Health. (The real question is, what are you going to do with this information?)
Two rad people: James Altucher and Tim Ferriss. I like this bit — ‘The last thing Tim suggested, “Think about what advice your future self would give you right now.”‘
New Moon in Sagittarius: a call to action. I loved this piece about how, during Scorpio season, we butt up against the limits of our own mythic framework. As Sagittarius rolls in, we have to ask ourselves, where will we go from here? How will we constellate meaning from the real, rather than the wished-for? And how will that meaning inspire action?
Why can’t we all take Modafinil?
Reynolds, who allegedly told Ms. Jones that Bikini Kill was “all about Billy Karren” and “the Frumpies are really good, probably better than Bikini Kill,” also asked whether she had “heard of X-Ray Spex, who are also better” before completely shouting over her answer. Reynolds claimed afterward that he didn’t recall the encounter with Jones. “I did what?” he asked, eyes wide, before lowering his gaze and whispering, “Not again…”
Paris Hilton voted for Trump. Honestly, this makes it really hard for me to continue liking her, even in an ironic sense.
Trump’s name has already been removed from these buildings.
After the Election, the White People of Los Angeles Adopted Pets. And uh, I did too.
He didn’t know how he had gotten so lucky. He would go home with this white woman and later she would take off her short-shorts, and he would get to see the remaining eighth of her butt. And if she hit her head and died, and her body lay there for days, he could eat that butt and probably live for a week. I smiled at the woman. “Congratulations!” I said.
How could Obama psychologically manipulate Trump for the better? Fingers crossed, man.
Obama reckons with a Trump presidency. This is a long read but a very good one.
“I think both Michelle and I are interested in creating platforms that train, empower, network, boost the next generation of leadership. … But what we’ll be most interested in is programming that helps the next Michelle Obama or the next Barack Obama, who right now is sitting out there and has no idea how to make their ideals live, isn’t quite sure what to do—to give them resources and ways to think about social change.”
One of the best things I read about the election, which helped me understand why the HELL educated white women voted for Trumpkin in such huge numbers. Why White Women Voted For Trump. Damn.
Good old Henry Rollins! Trump Is Going From Grabbing Pussies to Being One and White America Couldn’t Handle What Black America Deals With Every Day.
A Spiritual Perspective on the U.S. Election by my friends the AstroTwins.
Photo by Philip Lowe.