Carousel: The Nice Guy Pivot, Feminism In Schools, And The Secret To Enjoying Winter


Holy crap, it’s December next week! I hope you’ve had a delicious November and you’re excited to jump into the silly season full force. I am ready! Bring it on December, I’m coming for you!

No matter how you’re feeling about the impending final month of the year (!), grab something delicious to drink and settle in with these links. I have some real goodies for you this time around!

Feminism to Become an Official School Subject in Victoria, Australia schools! This is MASSIVE. Wow!

New Zealand is making trolling illegal.

Gloria Steinem gave a great interview to Elle.

When I’m talking to people, I find myself quoting the three organizing rules of Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter was initiated by three young women, and too few people know that. But, anyway, the first one is lead with love. The second is low ego, high impact. The third is move with the speed of trust. I must say those make me feel very hopeful for the future.

Essena O’Neill deleted over 2000 Instagram photos and then shared the story behind the story, with captions like, “NOT REAL LIFE – took over 100 in similar poses trying to make my stomach look good. Would have hardly eaten that day. Would have yelled at my little sister to keep taking them until I was somewhat proud of this.” Great stuff. And while there was some backlash — primarily because she then started a new website and asked people for money — I still appreciated the original sentiment!

“I’m quitting Instagram, YouTube and Tumblr. Deleted over 2000 photos here today that served no real purpose other than self promotion. Without realising, I’ve spent majority of my teenage life being addicted to social media, social approval, social status and my physical appearance,” she wrote on an Instagram post from Oct. 27. “Social media, especially how I used it, isn’t real. It’s contrived images and edited clips ranked against each other. It’s a system based on social approval, likes, validation in views, success in followers. It’s perfectly orchestrated self absorbed judgement. I was consumed by it.”

Everybody needs time off. Even you. Especially you.

When did full stops become so damn aggressive?! Ah, I love articles like this.

Seth Godin asks us, should we pander? (Of course we shouldn’t.)

I’m obsessed with this bohemian funk granny chic dream Christmas tree! And I’m excited to put up my tree soon!

Google is about to roll out AI which will answer your email for you. The future is heeeeeeere!

On Humans Of New York and the cavalier consumption of others.

100% of women are attracted to other women. This study is problematic, but you should read the link because Autostraddle breaks it down nicely (as always).

Natural Hair Was My Final Frontier to Self-Love as a Black Trans Woman.

Emily Nagosaki has a great sex blog, and here’s the best of it.

Neil Strauss, Tucker Max, and the Nice-Guy Pivot. After earning fame and fortune with bawdy play-the-field antics, the most famous douchebags of a generation have changed their minds (or perhaps embraced a newer feminist Zeitgeist) and are now peddling healthy relationships — and the struggle to achieve them. Very interesting!

Rattling off a list of male dating writers, including The Art of the Seduction author Robert Greene and Tucker Max, he says: “They all have one thing in common. Do you know? Take a guess. They all have narcissistic mothers. So of course they write these books, or live these lives that are about not being vulnerable to that same sex. But it’s a sad way to live.”

Feeling creatively stunted? Click a card, get an idea. Thanks, Austin Kleon!

On that subject, Warren Ellis’ ideas on ways to beat a creative block are excellent, too.

A Person You Should Know is genius. I love these smart little snippets.

Perfection: Gossip Girl — where are the characters now? Oh my god, it’s just so good! Ditto the comments section.

Activity follows identity, aka, you are what you say you are.

The Toxic Attraction Between an Empath & a Narcissist. This has been making the rounds on Facebook for a while, but it’s a very good read.

Here’s the Norwegian secret to enjoying winter!

Phone Down by Erykah Badu is my new favourite track.

What should you do when you’ve been shot in the gut? James has some ideas.

Is it okay to listen to R. Kelly? This is such an interesting piece, and it raises that all important question: is it okay to enjoy art created by someone who has behaved in a way you don’t like?

F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said that the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at once. That, for example, a horrible person might make a wonderful song.

The Complete History of Transgender Characters in American Comic Books and 10 Trans Women Pioneers They Definitely Didn’t Tell You About In History Class. Yes! Awesome!

Hey business owners, here are 7 ways to promote your products if you hate self-promotion!

‘Clueless’ style: a fashion analysis of the best teen movie of all time.

Ronda Rousey’s fall from grace: From America’s brash sweetheart to punch line in only one knockout. Rousey has earned plenty of criticism, but schadenfreude over this specific loss has misogyny written all over it. Goooooooooood readin’.

Maybe the root of the Rousey backlash is misogyny; we just can’t get enough of seeing an unapologetically powerful woman humbled by a more acceptable femininity, personified.

One letter can change your life. And Alex has created a free booklet full of templates to help you write awesome letters. Yay! Bust out your stamps and get busy!

Who are NYC cab drivers actually talking to on the phone all the time?

Carol is one of the rare movies that escapes the male gaze and I want to see it so badly!

Do you know any Nouveau Bros? “I just watched 7 hours of Real Housewives!”

Reading about Finstagram just made me feel really tired. Can’t we just be real everywhere? It’s less effort!

My babe Paige has created a healing ritual for divorce survivors.

Kisses forever,

Image by Warren du Preez & Nick Thornton Jones.

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Radical Self Love Letters

Five Periscopers To Follow To Start Your Day With A Hiss And A Roar!

ps babes (708)

I am in the grips of a brand new love affair. Sorry Instagram, but I recently discovered Periscope and I am all about it! In fact, I love Periscope so much that I’m on it every day, Monday through Friday, broadcasting gratitude and radical self love to the world!

Okay, let’s backtrack. I was in New Mexico a couple of weeks ago, learning how to upgrade my speaking skills with the incomparable Gail Larsen. (When Danielle LaPorte, Kris Carr, Marie Forleo and Gabby Bernstein have all been through her program and recommend her without hesitation, you know Gail’s the cream of the crop.) It was an incredible four day program, and in addition to massively improving my speaking, I was lucky to meet a soul sister: Grace Smith.

Grace Smith is a hypnotist. We met briefly at Soul Camp in September, and then spent four days together in New Mexico. When we were together, we couldn’t stop talking — we had an instant connection. And on the final night, Grace gave me a hypnosis session which — no exaggeration — set the wheels in motion for several major changes in my life. I had never tried hypnosis before, and it rocked my world! (If you’re curious to see what hypnosis is all about, here’s a free 3 minute stress relief recording! I promise you’ll LOVE IT!)

In addition to our adventures together staring at jewellery, going for late-night walks, huffing oxygen, drinking magical elixirs and having crystals placed on our chakras — yes, we got a lot done in our down-time — we also talked about Periscope. Grace is a Periscope pro and is an incredible evangelist for the platform. (She even spoke at the Periscope Community Summit recently!)

So, what the hell is Periscope? Periscope is an iPhone/Android app that allows you to livestream from wherever you are. You can film whatever you like and broadcast it immediately to your followers, who can then talk to you via a chat stream, or send you little hearts when they’re enjoying what they’re seeing or hearing.

I’ve been talking for ages about how there are no gatekeepers anymore — and how we can create anything we want these days — and Periscope is a perfect example of that. Want your own TV show? Now you can have one. Brilliant.

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If you’re new to Periscope, I encourage you to jump onto the platform! It’s the best. Here are some good places to start and people you might like to follow…

GRACESMITHTV Grace is on every day at 12pm Eastern, hypnotising the masses! YES, she actually drops everyone down into a state of deep relaxation and bliss every single day, just out of the goodness of her heart. You have never heard a more soothing voice than hers. If you need a little moment of zen, Grace has got the goods. You should definitely follow her and get into it!

GALADARLING I go live just after Grace. My sessions happen from Monday to Friday at 12.30pm Eastern. I’ve started doing #GratiScopes, where I talk about five things I’m thankful for and ask everyone watching to chime in with their own gratitude! It’s an awesome way to start the day. After that, I often issue a radical self love challenge or exercise for you to try at home, and sometimes on Fridays we do rituals together. It’s so much fun!

VERONICAVARLOW After you’ve watched my #GratiScope, hop over to Veronica’s channel to watch her adventures! Veronica goes live at 1pm Eastern and so far her scopes have been a glorious mix: an interview with her husband about how they keep their relationship steamy, a shared meditation, creating your best badass life, and so much more. Don’t miss it!

STROTHER_PT If you’re looking for workout inspiration, my boyfriend — who happens to be an incredible personal trainer — should be your next follow. He broadcasts all kinds of different things throughout the day, from sparring to sessions with clients. Primarily I watch him because I’m a pervert, but if you’re looking to mix up your workout routine, he has lots of great ideas!

GABBYBERNSTEIN My girl Gabs is always an early adopter, and she was the first person I saw using Periscope in a really cool way. She leads meditations, broadcasts live from events, and almost always livestreams her talks. For uplifting and positive scopes, you can’t go past Gabby for a good time.

So, does this get you excited about jumping on the Periscope bandwagon? I hope so! Download the app now, start following some people, and I’d love to see you join me for a #GratiScope today at 12.30pm Eastern!

Love and livestreaming,

Photos by Made U Look Photography.

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Tough Little Bitches: A Rallying Cry For My Boss Babes


When I reposted this image by Sara M. Lyons on Instagram last night, everyone went nuts: liking the photo, tagging their friends, squealing about how they need this too. The patch Sara is holding is made by Vichcraft, and it says SELF EMPLOYED — TOUGH LITTLE BITCHES.

I think the reason why it resonated so deeply is because it references the modern dream — to be a #girlboss, to run your own business, to set your hours and live life on your terms — but also addresses the strictly no bullshit attitude that is necessary to experience any degree of success.

Being self-employed can be rough. It’s all on you. You don’t always know where next month’s rent is coming from. The ups and downs can make you feel like the pressure of it all is going to crush you to death.

For many of us, there is no guaranteed monthly salary, no health insurance, no 401K, no benefits. We’re the girls whose partners roll their eyes when they see us crack open the laptop (again). We’re the boys who always have one more email to send. We’re the ones who find it nigh impossible to “turn off.” We’re the grrrls who write endless to-do lists, have overflowing planners, and Google Calendar alerts pinging all day long.

Sometimes it just seems like too much. We look at our friends who have “regular” jobs and feel a little bit wistful. If only we could just clock in and clock out, knowing there’s a cheque waiting at the end of the month. But then we start thinking about those fluorescent lights, the pointless meetings, the feeling of being under someone’s thumb… And we remember why we’re doing this.

We’re the ones whose eyes light up when we talk about what we do. We’re the ladies who know that our work makes a difference. We’re the babes who feel like we might die if we didn’t get to do this. We may go to bed exhausted every night, but we drift off to sleep feeling deeply fulfilled.

Self-employed tough little bitches UNITE! I know it can be hard. Oh man, do I know. If you’re running your own business, I SALUTE YOU. This shit takes clit.

If you’re having a tough time right now, just know this: I believe in you. You’re brave and resilient beyond measure and you can do this! Keep going! Keep pushing. Keep striving. No one else can do this the way you do. No one else has your vision, no one else has your guts or grit. If you throw in the towel, you are depriving the world of something truly amazing. Stay the course. You never know what could happen tomorrow, next week, next year… Every seed you plant will produce something eventually, you just have to have faith.

If all else fails? Remember that life is a game and everything is an illusion. The most important thing is to feel good as often as you can. Your feelings are a preview of your coming attractions. Make feeling good your priority and you can’t go wrong.

I love you forever,

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New Moon Magic: November 2015


Mmmm, delicious! We’re just about to come up on a sexy New Moon in Scorpio. If you’ve been feeling a little bit low ebb, don’t sweat it: we’re in the midst of the Dark Moon, which is the time to take it slow. Dark Moon time is when we need to take our radical self love practice seriously. Get enough rest, eat well, drink as much water as you can stand, and be gentle with yourself!

Personally, I’ve been taking a lot of naps… And it has been wonderful!

To help you make the most of this delicious New Moon, Mystic Medusa has the astrological overview, and I’ve got suggestions for how to use the energy to your advantage. Let’s go!



L.A. – Wednesday 11th at 09.47
NEW YORK – Wednesday 11th at 12.47
LONDON – Wednesday 11th at 17.47
DUBAI – Wednesday 11th at 21.47
HONG KONG- Thursday 12th at 01.47
SYDNEY – Thursday 12th at 04.47

IN THE SKY… (Mystic Medusa)

19 Scorpio SOUNDS cool – like a spy from the future’s code name – and it is.

This is a New Moon in the most potent sign for regeneration of all – Scorpio, realm of the Phoenix, the comeback and self-driven resilience.

So if you’re looking for an opportunity to really dredge up and destroy some grotty old residue in your psyche, that you suspect could be prompting some non-optimal behaviour or feelings, this is your Moon!

It is also in strong aspect to Mercury (depth insights), Chiron (healing), Jupiter (Power/Money) and Uranus (Sudden Evolutions).

So anticipate or time strong dialogue and big new beginnings for the 72 hours from this epic New Moon.

Note – yes – that the lead-up to it could stir some REAL grot & not-always-pleasant fears or feelings. Mining these for the eureka flashes is a hell of a lot more augmenting and powerful than muffling them.

New Moons in Scorpio are sexy too!


ON THE GROUND… (Gala Darling)

Scorpio is serious transformation energy. If you need the nudge to leave behind something that isn’t working, this is an incredible time to start working that magic. Set the intention to leave, start making a plan, take your first steps towards freedom. Big change is right here for the taking if that’s what you desire!

New Moons are all about resetting our intentions and clearing the way for the new, so it’s a great time to give your altar (here’s how to create one!) a clean-up, a dust-off, and a spruce-up! Don’t just rearrange your crystals, though: add some new energy into the mix by decorating with photos of your personal idols and superheroes.

Take some time over the next few days to identify who these people are. You might find that your icons change depending on what’s going on in your life, and that’s totally fine. Right now you might be inspired by Tom Ford or SARK, and next month you’ll be invigorated by Diana Vreeland and Gloria Steinem. It’s all good! There is no right or wrong.

Use the power of Google Image Search (the powerrrrr!) to find photos of your idols that make you feel like they are looking right at you, telling you to go out there and GET IT. Then place them on your altar. You might like to talk to these photos for the next month, and let their energy guide you through the rest of November.

Scorpio is one of the sexiest signs of the zodiac. A Scorpio in full power can make every head in the place swivel! The good news is that you don’t have to be a Scorpio to do this — you just have to channel their mojo!

So, what does it mean to access your inner seductress? It’s different for all of us, but I encourage you to sit with this idea for the next few days and contemplate what it is you need to unlock that part of you. It might be as simple as buying a new lipstick or some violet lingerie, or it could be as in-depth as attending a class, going on a retreat, or getting some therapy. I believe that you know what is best for you. You are your own witch!

While we’re on the subject, be sure to check out Kitty Cavalier for her delicious take on sacred seduction! (Meow!) You’ll definitely find oodles of inspiration there.

It has been a weird few months, to say the least, but this is the time to gather up all your gumption and say the things you really need to say. Stop waiting for a permission slip to tell your truth, and don’t worry about how it’s going to “land” — just get the words out.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it: saying how you really feel and expressing the things you want or desire can be terrifying, and it doesn’t always end up the way you want it to. But if you don’t ask for what you want, you’ll never get it. Don’t dance around the topic or be passive-aggressive. Express your needs clearly and then let the chips fall where they may. The revolution has to happen inside you before it can occur anywhere else.

“I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice, no matter who it is for or against. I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” — Malcolm X

Happy New Moon, witch babies, and have a wonderful weekend. I’d love to see photos of your altar with your heroes all over it, and see you rocking out your inner seductress on the #radicalselflovecoven hashtag on Instagram!


P.S. Join me on Periscope at 12.30pm Eastern today for a #GratiScope and a letting-go ritual that you can participate in from home! xo

Photos from Wildfox Couture.

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Try These Radical Self Love Exercises And Win A Session With Me!


For the past few weeks, I’ve been using Skrawl to write about radical self love and offer up some quick, easy exercises you can try to help you realise how damn wonderful you are!

Skrawl is a really cool platform where you can start a story and open it up to other participants to have them continue it, as well as vote on the best segments of the story. It’s a fun and totally collaborative way to create, and as a writer, I think it’s important to try new formats just to keep things fresh.

I encourage you to head over and follow my page for some radical self love goodness… And that’s not all! If you follow my page, you go into the draw to win a radical self love one-on-one session with me! We’ll jump on Skype, talk for a while, and I’ll make some suggestions of tips and activities you can do to get the radical self love flowing in your life. It’ll be awesome!

The contest is drawn tomorrow so jump over to Skrawl, follow my page, and be in to win! The people at Skrawl will be in touch with you if you’re the lucky winner. I’m so excited!

Much love,

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