The Year Of Massive Emotional Progress: 5 Things I’m Actively Working On In My Own Life


This has been the year of massive emotional progress and self-mastery on a whole new level… And it’s only August. I am a completely different person than I was this time last year, but I still have such a long way to go.

A little backstory for those of you who don’t know everything about me: after battling with depression and an eating disorder in my teens and early twenties, at age 23 I discovered tapping and used it to re-wire my brain. After finding success with that modality, I spent about a year tapping on practically every single negative thought or limiting belief I realised I was having. It completely changed me, and laid a really strong and solid foundation for who I am today. This was the beginning of my radical self love practice.

Cut to the present time. It has been almost ten years since I first reprogrammed my brain, and even though I have been learning about radical self love ever since, the transformation has never been as swift or intense as it was back then. Until recently.

Some events change your life much more than you ever anticipated they would. I had two double-whammies in a very short period of time. I knew that getting a divorce would change my life, and I knew that falling in love with Garnett would change things too. But I drastically underestimated how much these situations would alter my state of being.

Every intimate relationship helps to shape the person you are, but very few of them cause a complete metamorphosis. I am a very independent person: I’m an only child and one of the major pieces of relationship advice I remember from my mother was, “Make your own money so you can escape if you need to.” As you can probably imagine, I have never really allowed a relationship — or a man — to change me. I have allowed the fear that I would lose myself in a relationship to control what happens, which in turn has kept me separate — at least at arm’s length — from those I loved. And I know, deep down, that that isn’t what a relationship is supposed to be.

This time it’s different. G makes me want to be a better person, to explore my fullest potential. He’s not afraid of me standing in my power — in fact, he practically demands it — and so I have been wading into that pool to see what it’s like. Of course, becoming your biggest self is terrifying. It shows you what else in your life isn’t working. It starts to throw all kinds of other shit at you, shit you thought you could outrun or outwork or just ignore forever. Nope.

This has been a very challenging year but I am so proud of the changes I’ve made. There has been a massive list of things I’ve worked through already, but here are five things I’m actively working on right now… In case you’re interested!

“If I were the plaything of every thought, I would be a fool, not a wise man.” — Rumi

A few months ago, I realised that one of my underlying beliefs was that it wasn’t safe to be in my body. I didn’t trust it. I doubted my body, and so I lived mostly in my head. I dissociated often, even when I was working out. My boyfriend would ask me, “What muscles can you feel right now?” and I would say I didn’t know — because I was checked out of my body!

Learning how to be really present in my body, and not just in my mind, is tricky because going into my mind is a defense mechanism that I learned as a child. It works as a child, but as an adult, it stops you from having authentic connection. It also gives you a really crazy lens through which you view your body, hence eating disorders, body dysmorphia, etc. The constant analysis and intellectualisation of how you look — rather than simply FEELING how you FEEL — makes you crazy.

Of course, you can’t just sever the connection to your mind, but using a mantra like, “I’m here” snaps you back into your body, or simply inquiring of yourself, “What sensations do I feel right now?”

I am not perfect at this, but I’m making major strides, and when I find myself being able to just be in the physical plane rather than daydreaming or obsessing or future-tripping, it feels really good.

“Many of us learned that keeping busy kept us at a distance from our feelings. Some of us took the ways we busied ourselves —- becoming overachievers and workaholics —- as self esteem. But whenever our inner feeling did not match our outer surface, we were doing ourselves a disservice. If stopping to rest meant being barraged with this discrepancy, no wonder we were reluctant to cease our obsessive activity.” — Maureen Brady

It has been a good year for me professionally, which is interesting because I have been putting in less hours this year than ever. This is another side-effect of being with G: he has reminded me that there is a whole world that exists outside of work.

Addictions come in many disguises, and for the past ten years, constantly working has been a big one for me. It’s one thing to be passionate about what you do (and I am), but it’s another to use work as a coping mechanism, and I had certainly been doing that. In my case, being in relationships that weren’t right — and I completely own my part of that — meant that work was a welcome escape.

I spoke to a friend who is healing some (very old) trauma recently, and she told me the same thing — she wasn’t working as hard, and she had hired more people and stepped back, because she had realised that her need to work was actually her way of running from her problems. If you work hard, there’s no room for emotional processing. There’s no space to simply be with your thoughts. And it’s so compelling, because when we work a lot, we’re rewarded. Society loves a woman who “hustles”.

I used to work every weekend. Now I leave the house, see friends, and go out at night. I’m still not great at this, and I feel less “weekend urgency” because my work schedule is so flexible, but I am much more social than I used to be, and it brings so much positivity, adventure, and fun into my life.

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” — Charles Haddon Spurgeon

When panic and fear rose up inside me, I used to go with it. I’d allow the movies in my head to get the better of me, and I would sit, gripped by them, for what seemed like hours. Not anymore. Now I am proactive. As soon as those movies start to play, or as soon as I feel the waves of anxiety licking at my toes, I do something about it. I tap, I dance, I meditate, I recite a mantra. It almost doesn’t matter what I do, as long as I do something. See 1) on being in my BODY rather than my mind.

I went through a phase of reaching out when I felt panicky — not asking for help, but more like sending out texts to friends to say hello — and that’s okay, and is a good first step, but ultimately I want to be able to resolve my anxiety on my own and not need to rely on others to throw me a life-preserver.

Having a little toolkit of things that help me out when I feel anxiety is so useful. It’s so easy to get frozen and stuck, but learning how to break your own patterns is unbelievably important.

“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.” — Tony Robbins

I don’t have a super-strict morning routine, but I have a few things that I rotate between. One of them is new to me but it’s really helpful. I write down the top 3 things I want to achieve for the day (these are mostly work-related), and then I write down any mantras I want to keep in mind. I just keep them in the Notes app on my desktop.

They are simple ideas to keep me on track emotionally, and help me to process or work through whatever is going on in my mind at the time. These mantras are not fancy. They mostly read like practical reminders, for example, “Use your time wisely” or “Do what feels good”, but they’re different every day and they are massively useful.

I am really into emotional mastery lately, and having these simple prompts truly helps me out.

“I’m finally ready to own my own power, to say, “This is who I am.” If you like it, you like it. And if you don’t like it, you don’t. So watch out; I’m gonna fly.” — Oprah Winfrey

Holy shit. This is a really big one. This might blow your mind slightly (it definitely blows mine), but I didn’t really have any concept of my own power until I was in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. I approached my week there as one big social experiment and I was completely astounded by what I discovered.

There are a lot of little thing which go into owning your power, and they’re probably different for everyone. For me, some of the major components include having good posture (so simple but HOLY SHIT so transformative), and making an effort to be charismatic and outgoing. I swear, just doing those two things changes everything: the way you feel, the way people respond to you, and the experiences you have.

I have known these things for years, intellectually at least. But actually applying them, consistently and with effort, is a game-changer. I astounded myself. It was fantastic.

Las Vegas was also a great testing ground for me, because I was on vacation and no one knew me, so I was free to be as “big” as I wanted. And it felt amazing. It comes with its own challenges, of course, like, “Am I going to be ‘too much’ for people now?”, but ultimately, anyone who thinks I am too much is not someone I want to be around anyway. So I just have to take a deep breath and do my damn thing!

This shit is liberating, I tell you.


Like I have always said, radical self love is an ongoing process and it is never “finished”. I am delighted with the changes I’ve made this year, even though making them hasn’t always been fun (and has included many tears, internal tantrums, feelings of hopelessness, despair and deep sadness). It’s bittersweet. I can see how far I’ve come, but I can also see how far I have to go… And damn, it is a long, long way.

But I wouldn’t want to exist in a world where I am not being challenged, not growing, not becoming stronger and more self-aware. I know that every ugly moment I push myself through is making me a better person, and giving me the ability and self-belief to traverse other, more difficult situations in the future. I believe that if we can gain self-mastery, while treating ourselves with love, compassion, and forgiveness, there is nothing we cannot achieve.

Endless love,

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Feng Shui For Creativity: 10 Ways To Get Inspired And Invoke Your Genius


Radical Self Love Coven has been such a fun adventure. We’re onto our third module, Feng Shui, having already completed our spellwork and tarot classes. This module is really fun because as we all complete the assignments (like writing love letters to our apartments!), clear clutter and rearrange furniture, we can feel the energy in our lives change and expand.

In addition to the prescribed coursework, all our witch babies have access to the teachers of each module. The questions that have been coming in for this section are great, from, “How can I improve my love life using Feng Shui?” to queries about prosperity.

Recently, witch baby Jayde asked our (truly brilliant) teacher, Amanda Gibby Peters, how she could amp up her creativity and writing through using Feng Shui. I loved Amanda’s answer so much that I wanted to share it with you. I hope it helps you too!


AMANDA SAYS: “Another fabulous Q, Jayde, and it just so happens I work with so many writers + creative artists! So, I know these shifts + suggestions make magic happen! Don’t feel the need to hustle + do all of these – this list is for you to graze on, pick a few to get you started, and come back to as you need more motivation!

1. It is important when we begin any new endeavor to create open space for inspiration + flow. So, two immediate suggestions: Clean your desk completely. Take everything off + out. Wipe it down, top to bottom, and hold the vision of your writing intentions steady while you clean. Only put back what you need, use, +/or LOVE. Secondly, clear a small space {if possible} and leave it empty. It could be a shelf or drawer or a few folders. Intention here is key — you are leaving open room to receive.

2. If you like to pile things, give yourself ample horizontal space. If you like to file things, allow yourself plenty of vertical space. This will help feed your creative flow + momentum early in the process.

3. What inspires your creativity? Find one way to anchor a talisman as you begin — personalizing your work space is like working from the inside out, and it will help pull out the stories you are ready to tell.

4. Bright yellow flowers invite clarity while writing, and orange flowers inspire + connect us with new ideas {plots, characters, development}. Print a small picture of some blooms you LOVE + place it in a white frame on your desk or wall.

5. The sound of water playing softly in the background creates a nourishing + ‘in the flow’ feeling. {Most important, though, is that you LOVE the sound.}

6. On those white boards, hang up any letters, notes, or words of encouragement to boost + corral energies for future recognition of your writing. (Jayde said that she had white boards hung up near her desk.)

7. Light a candle at the beginning of each writing session. Set the intention that you will hold focus on your writing until you blow out the candle. It is more ritual than magic, but it sets the tone and quickly communicates to our subconscious that we are ready to write. And getting our conscious + subconscious aligned makes the process so much easier.

8. Quartz crystals improve our luck with creativity and helpful people {connections, network, word of mouth, etc.}.. The pyramid shape is representative of the fire element, specifically helping us reach for something that feels beyond us + encourages us to joyfully accept and acknowledge what is. On a side note: triangles, pyramids, diamonds, etc. send energy out + up and keep things moving. So, if you come across a quartz pyramid serendipitously, take that as a sign + bring it home with you for your desk!

9. Since horizontal surfaces represent creativity, clear any chaos off your desk at the end of every writing session. And see this ritual as the invitation for creativity to have room to show up again the next day.

10. Finally, as a writer myself, I can’t possibly emphasize this enough: Write every damn day. This clears the cobwebs + makes us lighter and more relaxed + helps us identify our voice. Your best stuff will come to the surface if you get all those tight spots inside you open, so write. Make lists. Journal. Commit to the craft, and the creativity will follow. xo”

So helpful! I love these tips, and I’m going to use a few myself…

And if you’re interested in being part of our Radical Self Love Coven, click the link and add your name to the list. I’ll email and let you know when we open our doors again!

Love and clear spaces,

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Carousel: Too Needy To Love, Faux-Feminist Men, And Tumblr Witches


Dear God, it’s August. Let’s not talk about it. I’m desperately clinging to the last few days of summer, despite the persistent thunderstorms circling NYC for the next week!

Here are some of the craziest, weirdest, most interesting, and thought-provoking pieces I’ve found over the last month or so. Enjoy!

Daddies, “Dates,” and the Girlfriend Experience: Welcome to the New Prostitution Economy. A growing number of young people are selling their bodies online to pay student loans, make the rent, or afford designer labels. Is it just an unorthodox way to make ends meet or a new kind of exploitation? Nancy Jo Sales investigates.

Ask Polly: When Will My Boyfriend Realize I’m Too Needy to Love?

Decide for yourself instead. Pay attention to how it feels the moment you resolve to address and soothe these feelings of self-doubt and distress on your own. Learn how to tell yourself that you are good and worthy. You are worthy even on your worst days. Learn to believe in the value of caring a whole hell of a lot. Learn to enjoy being your own savior. Learn to ask yourself tough questions, and learn to answer them in reassuring ways.

Justin Bieber’s Marilyn Manson Concert Tee Is His Best-Selling Item at Barneys. I love this line: “If you were to draw a Venn diagram of Manson fans and Bieber fans, there would be roughly one person, maybe two in the center.” I am that person!

Useful Tool Will Help You Determine If Men Are Talking Too Much. Hahaha.

Sleeping cleans your brain! This is pretty amazing, so you should definitely read it… And then get an early night.

Here are the dangers of dating faux-feminist men.

A feminist man makes space for women to speak and to hold positions of power, even when that means stepping back from his own power. He defends and supports women when they need it, especially in spaces where a man’s voice holds more weight than a woman’s (which, let’s face it, is most spaces). He listens to and believes women, instead of interrupting or interrogating us, when we tell him our experiences and our concerns. He advocates feminism not just to women, but to men too, because he recognizes it’s not about winning points, it’s about making change. He unlearns the defensiveness that naturally comes up when we confront our own privilege, and then uses that privilege to do good in the world.

A brief history of the Tumblr witch.

Emoji spells! Yessssssssss.

Using Body Language. Yes, I’ve been researching!

The Emotional Intelligence Toolkit: This (free!) program is rooted in social and emotional brain science that engages the emotional brain and heart, as well as the reasoning mind. Its purpose is to teach you how to control troublesome thoughts, manage difficult emotions, have better relationships, and follow through on positive intentions.

Want a Better Marriage? Add Some Emotional Intelligence.

The emotional landscape that occurs when you are with your partner, is a process called emotional contagion. The term refers to the well documented fact that emotions can be likened to a social virus in that they spread from one person to another. Put another way, you can literally catch your partner’s anger, anxiety and depression, or similarly, you can mood infect your partner with confidence and enthusiasm.

Five Keys to Enhancing Your Emotional Intelligence. Apparently 90% of high performers have high emotional intelligence.

Makeup Magic: Beauty as Ritual, Empowerment, and Reclamation. This patriarchal standard for how people should present themselves creates the opportunity to use beauty as a tool to empower yourself and others, reclaiming something that has long been a method of oppression. This can go beyond the physical act of applying makeup, nail polish, or perfumes, and become a ritualistic practice, weaving magic into maquillage.

Interracial Dating Is Fundamentally Changing America. See also 7 tips for white women in interracial relationships.

Shirley Manson Is Turning 50 and DGAF About What You Think. And her hair is pink.

“Sometimes I look in the mirror, feel my shoulders slump, and am disappointed with what I see,” Manson says. “And I have imaginary voices about what people might say about me having pink hair at 50. But I’m at that point where I don’t give a fuck if you think it’s appropriate or not. Go fuck yourself and be boring! I want to be free to explore the person I want to be. … Sure, I’ll be compared to Taylor Swift or Sky Ferreira. I get that. But age is information. Age is empowerment. I’m tired of being told I must infantilize myself and pretend I’m younger than I am. I’m 50, and I have lived an incredible life.”

Astrological dating is a thing, and there’s an app for it.

What’s it like to be goth at 40 years old?

The Real Reason You’re So Tired All the Time. Worn down? Burned out? It’s probably time to let a few beastly burdens go.

Let the wild accusations fly as we look at the Salem witch trials.

Now That Taylor Swift Is Definitely Less Innocent Than She Pretends to Be, What’s Next?

Success is not a matter of luck — it’s an algorithm.

According to Branson, people who play it safe seldom get lucky. On the other hand, people who see themselves as lucky are also usually the ones who are prepared to take the greatest risks.

5 witchy travel destinations for any intrepid enchantress!

Donald Trump’s ghostwriter tells all… And it sure is ugly.

Get the epidural. It’s interesting that no one cares very much about women doing anything “naturally” until it involves their being in excruciating pain. No one ever asks a man if he’s having a “natural root canal.” No one ever asks if a man is having a “natural vasectomy.”

Why 30 is the decade friends disappear — and what to do about it.

The Kimye and Taylor Swift Feud Has Always Been About White Femininity and Blackness.

I tested the $50 light treatment that makes you trip balls. They have these in NYC too, I’m pretty keen to try!

A Meditation for Leo Season to Unleash Your Highest Self. So good!

Here are 5 signs you need a spirituality detox.

Do you ever feel like your intimate relationships are basically like being in emotional bootcamp? If so, you’re not the only one. Check out Alexandra’s piece on relationships as a path to enlightenment.

Period pride and loving your lady landscape.

Can you really power an organisation with love? (Yes!)

What should you do when you’re extremely unmotivated?

If You Loved Me, You Wouldn’t Want to Change Me. Is it true that we should simply accept our lovers as they are?

The desire to put one’s lover right is, in fact, utterly loyal to the essential task of love – to help another person to become the best version of themselves.

Charge It Up: A Clothing and Sigil Protection Spell.

The New Moon has since passed, but these tips still apply… 8 Ways to Hone Your Creative Genius at the Leo New Moon.

Anna Wintour has a beautiful wild garden on Long Island.

These Polish headdresses and wreaths are absolutely gorgeous.

I loved this interview between Marie Forleo and Tony Robbins.

Love and everything else,

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Bad Witch Workout This Weekend… And A Hypnosis Session To Boot!


Last week, I wrote about how we can view working out as a magical practice. Since then, the gears have been turning in my head. I have so many ideas about how to expand Bad Witch Workout and make it super-potent. We don’t want to just work your butt, we want to work your mind, your imagination, and your ability to turn ideas into reality.

Our second Bad Witch Workout happens this Sunday at 3pm, and I’m very excited to announce that this session will be featuring a very special guest, my friend Grace Smith! Grace is an incredible hypnotherapist who has helped me with a lot of issues in my own life. I’m thrilled to bring her expertise into Bad Witch Workout! After we’ve worked out, she will be leading us through a hypnosis session to help lock in our goals, release resistance, and manifest our wildest dreams. It’s going to blow your mind.

It’s still Bad Witch Workout: a killer workout with kickass tunes thanks to one of the most incredible trainers in the city, Garnett Strother. But you’re also going to use all that energy you churn up to create something larger than you. It’s a whole new way of working out, and it’s going to change everything.

You can snap up your ticket right here, and if you have questions, just ask us on Instagram! We cannot WAIT to see you on Sunday in New York City, for a truly magical and transformative afternoon.

Love always,

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Even Cowgirls Get The Blues



he alternate title for this post should probably just be “I Love Bodysuits” because it feels like a meaningful theme in my life lately. If it isn’t a bodysuit, I probably don’t want to wear it. It’s safe to say that I am obsessed with the damn things.

This outfit is a perfect case in point. When I posted an outtake of it on Instagram, a lot of people thought it was a dress because it looked so seamless. Success! No one will ever say that about a t-shirt worn with a skirt. It just doesn’t look the same. And sure, when it comes to the big picture and the grand scheme of things, the “smoothness” of an outfit is not a life-or-death situation… But it always feels better when your look is on point.


Ribbons around the neck = a big yes from me. I haven’t written about my Style Direction for a long time, but I’m definitely due for an update. My style has evolved a lot in the past year, and it’s really fun to experiment with new shapes (like more fitted garments) and colours (baby pink, for example). Here are some of my old Style Direction pieces if you’re in a bit of a sartorial rut (they might inspire you!): Stepford Witch (2015), Eccentric Pop (2013), Day Tripping Darling (2012), Psychedelic Ladies Who Lunch (2010).

I’m getting excited just thinking about writing about my new Style Direction. Okay, okay, I’ll do it! Soon!


I’m wearing…

A black straw hat from Forever 21. Whenever I go into one of their stores, I just cannot resist their hat collection. It’s like a sickness.
Fendi ribbon around my neck. I bought some sunglasses at the boutique in Vegas and the ribbon was used to tie the bag. I decided to repurpose it, and now this ribbon has actually gotten more wear than the sunglasses themselves! Oops. It’s like how kids like the box the toy comes in more than the toy itself, you know?
Black bodysuit by New Look, purchased through ASOS
Black skater skirt from H&M, although I got it at Buffalo Exchange
Dr Marten Darcie boots which are absolutely on their last legs. There are holes in the heels now. I need to throw them away but it’s hard to get rid of clothing that served you so well!



These girls! I just came back from YET ANOTHER trip to Vegas with them, and it was even more fun than the last one. We had such a good damn time!


Awwwww. Cutest babes out.

Love and bodysuits,

Photos by Made U Look Photography.

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