Want To Change How You See Yourself? It’s As Easy As Writing A List

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You lick it, you buy it!

My book, Radical Self-Love: A Guide To Loving Yourself And Living Your Dreams, came out on Tuesday and it’s been a CRAZY week so far! I’ve been racing around doing interviews, giving away signed copies (see my Instagram to join the fun!), and the most emotional part of the experience was going to see my book at Barnes and Noble where I cried in the Love Yourself, Love Your Body aisle. Happy tears, though, I promise!

If you haven’t already snapped up your copy, now is the time to do it! It makes the perfect last-minute Valentine’s Day gift for yourself or your best friend. You can find it in bookstores all over the world or you can order online from one of the sites below…

AMAZON | BARNES AND NOBLE | AMAZON CANADA
AMAZON UK | BOOKTOPIA

I also filmed a video sharing one of the simple tricks I mention in the book which you can use to change the way you see yourself for good! It’s embedded below, but if you’re viewing this via email, the direct link to the video is here.

 

Neon pink kisses,

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Radical Self Love Letters

All Hail Queen Bey: Why Formation Is One Of The Most Important Music Videos Ever Made

My friend sent me a message yesterday that said “I love Beyoncé’s new music video but it makes me feel really white!” YES. That’s exactly how it should make you feel! Let’s be real for a second. Women like my friend and I have enough role models who look like us: our cup overrunneth with Taylor Swift and Katy Perry lookalikes. This video was made for women like my boyfriend’s daughter, a beautiful 14 year old girl with natural hair and gorgeous cheekbones, who lives in a culture that tells her white faces are more beautiful.

Have you seen the video? God, it’s good. Watch the whole thing.

 

Pop music is not just pop music when it’s done right. I scrolled through Beyoncé’s Instagram last night, and saw a plethora of comments which said things like, “I always felt self-conscious about my hair and my nose and you have made me feel so much better.” What is more important than helping women realise their inherent beauty?

The whole thing reminds me of when Nicki Minaj took Miley Cyrus to task by saying you couldn’t embrace some parts of black culture but not all of it. Beyoncé’s video is a beautiful celebration of all things black, from dancers with natural hair to champions of New Orleans’ bounce scene (Big Freedia), images of New Orleans post-Katrina, cops putting their hands up and Blue Ivy beaming at the camera with her afro in full effect. It’s so strong and powerful that it gives me chills from head to toe.

The lyrics fire back at criticism about Blue Ivy’s hair (there was a petition circulating online to get her hair brushed — yes, really), and rumours that Beyoncé was going to change her nose. In this video she is telling us she loves her family exactly as they are… And herself, too. Radical. Self. LOVE.

Beyonce just keeps on coming, first with appearing in front of a glimmering FEMINIST sign at the VMAs, and featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in her song ***Flawless. And now she’s written a song for black women to feel proud of themselves. That this is not the end of her personal mission: it is only the beginning.

This is such a beautiful demonstration of a woman with an incredible platform who is using it to its fullest advantage and potential. Beyonce is — rightfully — angry about the injustices she sees, and she wants to do something about it. Of course, in true Virgo style, she does it all with total grace. So many celebrities seem to only be concerned with pushing their new fragrance, but Beyonce is urging us to wake up and recognise what is going on in the world. Sure, she is a businesswoman, and making money is what businesses do. But that’s okay. You can make money and still be socially conscious! She is using her wealth and influence to do something massively important, to contribute something meaningful to the cultural dialogue, to shift the status quo.

There is more to Formation than a celebration of black culture. Formation is a radical self love anthem — emphasis on the word radical — written by one of the most influential women in the world, one who has also spoken up about her struggles with dieting, body image and perfectionism. She is loud and proud about her blackness, her appearance, her family history. She is dominant and unapologetic. She is fully owning this shit. And this is a beautiful dichotomy which reminds us that even though we may STILL have moments where we doubt ourselves and our looks, we can still SLAY. We can still rule the world! There are revolutions to be created and we don’t have to be perfect to make them happen, to encourage them, to see them carried out. That inner voice which tries to suppress our joy will always be there in some capacity, but we can choose to overrule it and go out there and do important things. That is the definition of empowerment and strength.

This video wasn’t made for women like me, even though I love it, can appreciate it and also see how groundbreaking it is. This video was made for the girls and women who are told that black isn’t beautiful, who feel like outsiders, who feel “less than” and “other”. Beyoncé is the baddest bitch on the planet, and hearing her sing about how she loves the parts of herself that are a reflection of her ethnicity and heritage is so massively empowering to women who are constantly told the opposite.

This video was not made for white women like me and that is exactly why it is essential that we watch it. Without seeing music videos and movies made by black artists, without hearing the words spoken by people of colour, and without reading books by people who are different to us, we will never learn about anything except our own — dominant, heteronormative, white — culture. Without being conscious and paying attention, we will never fully grasp the immense privilege afforded to us simply based on the merits of having white skin.

The truth is that we will never be able to truly see the world through the eyes of a person of colour, but the more we can engage, listen, and pay attention to the stuff that is “not for us”, the closer we will come to understanding. And that’s good for all of us. Understanding leads to compassion and strength and the chance for us all to work together to create a better and more unified world.

When she sings “Okay ladies, now let’s get in formation,” she is encouraging women to rise up, to work collectively, to affect change in their communities and around the world — and that’s not just limited to people of colour, that’s a call to arms for everyone. As a white woman, one of the most important things I can do is be an ally, to actively speak up when I hear ignorant shit, and — most importantly — be quiet and listen when someone else is speaking about their experience.

One song is not going to undo the damage done from hundreds of years of oppression, reverse institutionalized racism, or revoke the incessant messages that tell women of colour that they’re not good enough. But it’s a start. And it’s a beautiful one.

Love always,

P.S. Here are some other awesome perspectives on Formation by Luvvie, Dr. Zandria Robinson and Kate Forristall which you should definitely read.

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Today’s The Last Day To Preorder My Book And Get Free Goodies!

Beautiful babes, it is a really big week for me — perhaps the biggest week of my life. Tomorrow marks the official release of my first book, Radical Self-Love: A Guide To Loving Yourself And Living Your Dreams, published by Hay House!

I’m so excited — and let’s be real, kinda terrified too — to see my book in bookstores! Ahhh!

I wanted to say an ENORMOUS thank you for your support. Thousands of you have preordered Radical Self-Love and are enjoying the free gifts that came along with it! I hope that Radical Self Love Bible School is firing up all your creative impulses, that you printed out your poster and put it on your wall, and that your daily Radical Self Love Letters are pouring a little gasoline on that glittery fire of yours.

DON’T MISS YOUR CHANCE TO PREORDER!

If you haven’t preordered the book yet, this is your last chance to do so! Preorders close at midnight tonight (Eastern), and all you need to do is buy the book online and submit your receipt number on this page. We’ll immediately hook you up with…

Radical Self Love Bible School: my three-month course which takes you through art journalling prompts to open your heart and help you realise your radiance! Value: $97

Radical Self Love Letters: 30 days of emails direct to your inbox full of love, encouragement, and little lessons to keep you on the radical self love track! Value: 40

100 Things That Will Make You Happy, a downloadable A2 poster to print, stick on your wall, and refer to when times get tough!

My book is only $11.39 on Amazon right now, which is practically the deal of the century, so you’d be mad to miss out. Go here for all the details as well as links to international vendors — you can buy my book all over the world!

I love you all SO much. Again, I cannot thank you enough for your support and encouragement. It has changed my life. You know that, right?

Oh and by the way, when your copy shows up in the mail (!!!) please be sure to snap a picture and put it on Instagram with the #rslbook hashtag! I want to share my favourites!

Love and magic with sprinkles on top,

P.S. Want an extra radical self love boost today? Check out my interview Blogging, Business and Bad-assery with the Merrymaker Sisters, where we discuss why accepting yourself is the first step to true bad-assery and happiness, why you need to think BIGGER if you want to be a ‘full-time blogger’, how being nimble is your best business asset, and why it’s important to back yourself first. Plus I tell the story of my transition from self-published blogger to Hay House author. It’s sassy!

You might also like to have a listen to my interview with Amber Hawken, where we talked about overcoming eating disorders, getting yourself out of a down day slump, astrology and gratitude. In her words, “Even if you only listen to the last 120 seconds where she talks about her WHY, this episode will change your life.”

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New Moon Magic: February 2016

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This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius… So get ready to innovate! This Monday, February 8th, marks the New Moon in Aquarius, the ultimate sign of rebellion, creativity and fresh change. This New Moon asks us, “What’s your vision for the future?” It’s time to dream big, witch babies!

A quick aside: in official blog news, I’m sad to announce that Mystic Medusa will no longer be contributing the astrological portion of this column — she has a huge number of books to write in the next year, and I’m so happy for her, even though I will miss her words here. I am infinitely grateful to her for helping to make this feature everything it has become. I love you, Mystic!

On the flipside, I’m thrilled to let you know that Sagittarian goddesses the AstroTwins have taken the reins of New Moon Magic! They’ll be sharing the astrological lowdown for each New Moon, and — as usual — I’ll be writing about how to use the energy to your advantage.

Here we go with the AstroTwins’ first contribution to New Moon Magic! Meow!

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NEW MOON IN AQUARIUS
FEBRUARY 8TH 2016

IN THE SKY… (The AstroTwins)

Welcome to innovation nation. Today brings a new moon in Aquarius, the cosmos’ original mad scientist and futurist. Let us all pause and peer into our crystal balls, kaleidoscopes and even our microscopes (Aquarius rules both science AND the New Age). What vision do you see for the world? The more out-there and “impossible” you make it the better, because Aquarius loves a challenge. This is the sign of the rebel, after all. Tell Aquarius they can’t do something, and they’ll show you just how quickly they CAN. So dare to dream…and use all the tools of technology and social media to spread your visionary message, since this new moon falls in a tech-savvy sign.

It won’t be ALL peace, love and sisterhood today, though. This new moon will travel at a close square (90-degree angle of tension) to hotheaded Mars in controlling Scorpio. While the Aquarius new moon sounds the cry for liberation, jealous Mars could get a little threatened by that. Sure, we like to claim to be all “live and let live”—in theory. IRL, you could encounter the shadowy side of yourself that feels intimidated when someone else flies free. What if they don’t come back? What if they meet someone better? Yeah, that’s what the voice in your head is saying. But remember what your mama’s old coffee mug said, too: If they don’t return, they weren’t yours in the first place.

February 8 also kicks off the Chinese lunar New Year. (Fun fact: the Chinese New Year always accompanies an Aquarius new moon.) Bid adieu to the weepy Sheep and welcome the manic Monkey. The passive and emo Sheep is linked to the Western sign of Cancer, so we’ve had a rather indulgent year full of feels. It’s been cozy in the bubble, but now it’s time to swing from the vines and tap into some planetary primate power. Take the wool out of your ears and listen up, people! It’s about to get noisy in this joint, as the chattering chimps and babbling baboons of our cosmos seize the mic. Take a deep breath and jump into the conversations—they promise to be lively!

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ON THE GROUND… (Gala Darling)

“When the going gets tough, the tough reinvent.” –RuPaul

No matter what you end up doing this New Moon, promise me one thing: that you’ll make some room to daydream about what could be. Think big, allow yourself to indulge in those wild dreams that you normally keep a lid on, and be unconventional! Who says that work has to be like this, or your love life needs to be like that? You are the captain of your own ship, and you can point it wherever you like.

If you want to dive extra-deep into the energy of this New Moon, here are three things to try…

ACTIVATE YOUR INTUITION
Hands up if you’re guilty of asking everyone around you for advice when you already knew what you were going to do anyway! Don’t worry — it’s not just you. We often ask other people for their opinion not because we want a fresh take, but because we lack confidence and we’re hoping to hear our own thoughts validated.

Let’s throw all of that away this month. Aquarius is about being your own guru. It’s about recognising that you already have all the answers and inner guidance you need — all you have to do is make some space and call upon it!

If you’re truly not sure what to do in a given situation, carve out some time to get quiet and listen to your inner voice. You can also set the intention that you want to receive guidance in the form of a message. I did this when I was thinking about changing my name: I knew I wanted a new name, but wasn’t sure what it should be. I told myself I wanted it to come to me in a dream, and then a couple of days later during a mid-afternoon nap, a dream presented me with my new name written in a cloud. The rest is history!

CONNECT WITH YOUR FAVOURITE WEIRDOS
Don’t be shy: this is an ideal time to get in touch with your favourite eccentric people. As SARK says, “Invite someone dangerous to tea.” Outsiders, rebels and freaks are — almost without exception — always the ones who end up changing the world. Surrounding yourself with more creative and unconventional energy can only be a good thing for you!

Get together with your favourite weirdos to dream about what could be, and allow their imagination to sweep you away. Maybe you can even work together to create the future you’ve always hoped for!

TRANSFORM THE STATUS QUO
Aquarius reminds us that we have the power to adjust and modify the very fabric of reality. If you want to start a revolution, you can. If you want to change the way things are done, you can! Embrace and harness this fluid energy. Stop being stuck and start pouring your energy into what you desire!

Love and magic,

P.S. Want to have your most awesome year ever? Get The AstroTwins’ 2016 Planetary Planner ebook —a 300+ page horoscope guide that forecasts love, career & more for every zodiac sign. Plus: bonus numerology & Chinese astrology! Take 20% off at checkout with the code GALA.

Jourdan Dunn by Zee Nunes for Vogue Brazil February 2016.

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Carousel: Courtney Love, David Bowie, Healthy Relationships And Crystal Grids

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Happy January, everyone! I hope the year is off to a brilliant start and you’re feeling excited about the rest of the year. Mercury just went direct so it’s all systems go… And there are less than 60 days until Spring! Let’s do this!

Can we all get one of these?! Customizable Transparent Chair Uses Removable Sheets of Plastic to Easily Alter Its Appearance. So rad!

Thich Nhat Hanh on how to love mindfully.

Hahaha, this woman recreates celebrity Instagrams and it’s the best.

Baggage Reclaim is an AMAZING site for getting healthy about your relationships. I love it! Check out these articles: Am I Involved With an Assclown?: How To Spot Someone Who Means You & the Relationship No Good and What are code red and code amber behaviours in a relationship? There’s way more here. Read up!

This, primarily because I wanted to excerpt the below…

So here’s hoping your feminism involves more than penetrating a willing partner with your fingers, tongue, cock, and whatever vibrators happen to be lying around. Because if your feminism doesn’t include support for pro-choice policies and candidates, regular donations to Planned Parenthood, backing equal pay for equal work, speaking up when other men say shitty/rapey/dehumanizing things about women (particularly when there isn’t a woman in the room whose pussy you want to lick until you come, because feminism!)—and more—then you’re not a feminist, ardent or otherwise.

The Hustlers At Scores. Here’s a modern Robin Hood story for you: a few strippers who stole from (mostly) rich, (usually) disgusting, (in their minds) pathetic men and gave to, well, themselves.

16 Uncomfortable Feelings That Actually Indicate You’re On The Right Path.

What was David Bowie doing at your age? Oh man. I checked my age, 32, and it said, “He got hit in the face by Lou Reed after a dinner in Hammersmith. Took it like a champ.”

Here’s what Brooklyn apartments looked like in the 1970s. Aka, HUGE and rad.

On creating a solitary life as a woman. Such a good read.

Want to make a crystal grid? This is your guide.

I love Dr Bronner’s soap — the words printed all over the bottle are so nutty but wonderful. Here’s the scoop on the $50 million company!

Why are so many millennials so uncool?!

Here’s how David Bowie was an invisible New Yorker. I love this piece. So good.

New World, Old Newts: Five Women Show Us Their Sacred Altars featuring yours truly!

Courtney Love on her collaboration with Nasty Gal.

Glow-In-The-Dark Hair Is the Latest Fun Hair Trend to Light Up Your Life. Um, yes. Let’s ALL do this!

My girl Sarah Starrs interviewed me for her Punk Rock Personal Development podcast, and we spoke about radical self-love, navigating difficult decisions, and being true to yourself.

Want to see Elizabeth Taylor’s most cherished belongings photographed in her Bel Air home? Yes, of course you do!

“America’s sweetheart of smut,” adult performer Stoya talks porn, makeup and the beauty of just being yourself.

Why Are Some People Habitually Late? There’s no single root cause, but over-politeness, optimism, multitasking, and a range of other factors can contribute.

So, a movie is being made about Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson going on a roadtrip, which sounds like it would be awesome, but they just cast Joseph Fiennes as MJ. Not a good look for an industry that seems to insist on a lack of diversity. It’s complicated, man. Anyway, time will tell…

Te story is irresistible: on 9/11, unable to fly, Elizabeth Taylor, Michael Jackson, and Marlon Brando jumped in a car together—the three of them, no entourage—and made it as far as Ohio in an attempt to escape New York City.

Here’s how to build a $10M business.

Curious about crystals? Here are the ten best ways to use crystals in your magical and spiritual work.

Grease followed an unlikely path to world domination. Oh, Sandy!

Here’s how you can use oracle cards as a complement to tarot cards.

Against “don’t read the comments”. We’ve made a habit out of telling people not to read the comments online. But what started as a cynical in-joke has become a bad habit, and an excuse for enabling abuse across the web.

The weird psychology of returning items to the store.

Here are 6 harsh truths that will make you a better person. This is good readin’.

Are you doing what satisfies you every day?

Baggage Reclaim is awesome. A ‘connection’ or having ‘so much in common’ isn’t the same as intimacy, “Charming” tends to be a precursor to code red problems, It Doesn’t Have To Be So Scary In a New Relationship, Figuring out whether you have the landmarks of a relationship that’s going somewhere good, You can change your version of normal at any time, and finally, Ever been tempted to snoop on your partner?

Snooping puts us in a bind because: Control isn’t love; it’s control. If we want to be in mutually fulfilling, loving relationships with care, trust, and respect, our relationships cannot be about power and control. Ever been stifled by somebody’s jealousy and possessiveness? Yep, that’s not love; that’s control. Snooping is temporary protection against doubts. The next time we experience the feelings and thoughts, if we haven’t addressed the root cause and learned how to self-soothe and also communicate with our partner, we will snoop again. And lather, rinse, repeat. It’s pseudo control even if the other party doesn’t know about it. We’re trying to remove uncertainty but we cannot control the uncontrollable and we are engaging in snooping in lieu of having more command of ourselves and being conscious, aware, present, and responsible in our relationships.

 

 

 

Love and magic,

P.S. DEUTSCHLAND! I’m coming to Hamburg in March and I’m teaching a radical self love workshop. All the information is here, and I can’t wait to meet you!

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