41 Years Old & An XXXL -- What Should I Wear?
[ 20 May 2007 ]
“My biggest problem is that I’m at a “difficult age”. Big girls clothes either come destined for 18-30 year olds: low cut, crushed satin, pseudo-skank-on-the-loose stuff.. I don’t need to show cleavage: you can TELL I have one!!! Or the 55-65 year olds: prissy blouses, high-cut trousers, loose butts, sequinned tops with floaty organza over-shrug thingies, cardies of the ancient kind. If 40 is the new 30, and I’m a 41 yo 3XL girl, what should I be wearing?”
You should be wearing whatever makes you happy.
Maybe that sounds like a cop-out answer. But as easy as it would be for me to give you a clothing prescription, it doesn’t work like that. (Thank god.) You have your own style, even if you think you don’t, & just because you are “bigger” than the women at Vogue would like, that doesn’t mean you are destined to wear enormous t-shirts, muu-muu’s, all black, floaty somethings, dramatic jewellery or a sandwich board.
You are not just a big blob, in the same way that a thin girl is not all bones. Focus on the parts of yourself you like. God is in the details. Do you have great hair, fine wrists, strong sexy legs, perky breasts, a great smile? You need to play these things up & look after them too. If that means getting your hair done every week or regular manicures to draw attention to your hands, then just bite the bullet & spend the money. It is absolutely worth it if it makes you feel better about yourself.
Important things for ANYONE to remember when they’re dressing themselves are:
Wear colours which suit you!
Buy clothing which fits — this includes your bra, if you’re a woman. Get a fitting!
Only buy things you feel good in!
When you go shopping, try on anything which appeals to you. If you find something & you love it but it isn’t quite right, you can always have it tailored to fit you. This is the secret of celebrities & well-dressed people the world over. Everyone’s bodies are so different, it is almost impossible to find something which really is a perfect fit. Tailoring is often the only sane option in a world gone mad!
Some countries, like America, are much easier to go shopping in if you’re at the larger end of the spectrum. The good thing is that you can shop online these days, & if something doesn’t fit you or suit you, you can just send it back (or get it tailored). Yes, this is a slow way of accumulating a wardrobe, but until the fashion industry catches up with how real people’s bodies look these days, I think it is the best solution. (If the shipping is extravagant, get some of your friends to order as well, & split the cost.)
If on your big shopping spree of the year you end up with 5 items, don’t despair. It is far, far better to have 5 things you adore than 20 things which kind of work but not really. (Just be sure to consider how the rest of your clothing is going to go with your new acquisitions.) It is obvious when you feel good in your clothing — you’ll stand tall, move with confidence & look hot! Size has nothing to do with it. I’d pick a confident, well-dressed “big” girl over an insecure skinny girl in trackpants any day.
Life is too short to feel like you can’t do x because of y — whether that’s “too fat to look nice”, “too stupid to go to college” or “too pathetic to be a success”. Please be good to yourself & make the most of what you’ve got!
Super-love & cupcakes,
Gala
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Fab, fab advice – and take it from one large lady with her 50th birthday approaching – wear what YOU want – not what some shop/magazine tells you that you should be wearing. Play with clothes until you find a combo of things that amuse/please YOU. I shop pretty much exclusively from charity shops and ebay. I also have pink hair and more clothes and shoes than anyone I know :)Gala’s idea of look-booking things is wonderful – really helps to get your eye in in terms of things you gravitate towards and love. The good stuff is out there – often it just takes patience and a stitch-ripper.
Ask yourself what Vivienne Westwood and Zandra Rhodes would do lol!
Great advice, Miss Darling. As always.
If I can add, I have a few things in common with your writer, and I find that for those of us who are a bit rounder, adding structure can be really good too. Larger busts benefit from a firm shoulder line. Highlight a smaller body part: a waist, the part under the bust, nice legs and use clever dressing to distract from other areas. It’s a bit of sleight of hand: I favour v-necklines as they flatter and draw attention away from pear shaped hips.