5 Masculine Ways To Beat Christmas Stress
[ 21 December 2007 ]
This is easily one of the most hectic, stressful times of year — staying long hours into the night behind your desk because half your colleagues are already on vacation, fighting hoards of shoppers for those last minute gifts, stressing about presents you’ve bought somebody (or worse yet, the ones you’ve forgotten about until now), pre-empting that horrendous credit card bill that’s going to come in January, the demands of your children and their long Christmas wishlists, planning New Year’s celebrations, seeing those family members you’ve spent all year avoiding, and then there’s the office parties and end-of-year drinks and work lunches where you have to make sure you’re super-nice to the right people…
It’s no wonder that statistics show a distinct increase in depression and even suicide at this time of the year, as people struggle to provide the kind of Christmas that their family deserves or just plain wants. And I’m not saying that males are more stressed or busy than females at Christmas. But I do think there’s a certain expectation that males are supposed to be able to cope with these stressful times easier. Consequently, a lot of men find it difficult to ask for help when they’re feeling snowed under, and suffer in silence as their problems spiral out of control. Simply because they think they have to be tough and strong and a provider for their families.
Most of the time, problems aren’t that big. You just think they are, and if you keep it bottled up and don’t share your worries, they eat away at you. The scary truth is that a lot of males don’t actually know how to relax and unwind effectively — without the cliché crutches of alcohol, couches and television, of course. So my mission today is to make the men out there understand that there’s nothing wrong with taking a little YOU time over the next few days before those distant relatives arrive and invade your house, while you cram in those last minute jobs your boss has dumped on you, or as you bow down to your screaming children’s demands for the latest toys which are probably sold out. And most importantly, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help if everything is mounting up.
So here are my top 5 tips to settle your nerves and clear your head, while not compromising your masculinity.
Head to the barber
And get yourself a professional shave. Hands down, it’s one of the best things a guy can do to feel refreshed and revitalised. It’s pretty much the male equivalent of when girls go and get a facial.
Personally, I’m not a very hairy guy (my attempt at Movember was disastrous!), and it’s a bit of a joke with the team at the barber I go to. But there’s definitely something about a professional shave that you just can’t accomplish at home in your bathroom. They’ll use some nice creams and ointments on your neck and face that will help you feel fresh and clean and like a brand new man. Don’t be scared to talk to them about your skin and its condition — after all, it’s their job to know this kind of stuff and give you advice on how you can take care of yourself better. Even home-shaving should involve some moisturising and other things, so make sure your at-home routine is adequate.
Bonus points, of course, if you can find a barber who uses the really old-school blades! Those things feel great and they make your barber look cool.
Book yourself a massage
I’m not talking about those shifty places where all the girls are in kimonos and you can order a happy ending — I’d really like you to go find a local, reputable establishment please! But even if you only nip down somewhere in your lunch-break for a quick twenty minutes in the middle of the day, you’ll notice a difference straight away. Getting a professional massage is entirely different than having your girlfriend rub your back in front of the T.V. There’s a science to it, and even a spiritual side if you choose to open yourself up to that too. There’s different levels and types of massage you can get, depending on how comfortable you are getting one, or which parts of your body may be bugging you — once again, don’t be scared to talk to the masseur about any crimps in your neck or sporting injuries that are flaring up. If they’re being too rough, say so. Similarly, if it feels like they’re not getting into it enough, speak up. I recommend you get massaged by a guy though, if you think you’re more likely to need a hard, vigorous massage.
Ask your colleagues and neighbours if they can recommend somewhere nearby where you can sit and get a neck and head massage or lie and get your back stretched out good. When it comes to your well-being, I think word-of-mouth is by far the best way to find some really good places. You’ll probably find most major shopping centres have massages places these days, too. And you don’t even have to take your shirt off if you’re uncomfortable with that.
For those who don’t have the time to get a full massage, keep in mind that places like The Body Shop offer hand massages, which are perfect for those of you who work manual labour jobs: Christmas is a good time to give your hands a rest from it all. Ask if they offer demonstrations at your store, as you may need to book a time to see somebody. But normally if you buy some products (they have male-specific hand creams and stuff like that, which it’ll be good for you to have anyway) they’ll show you how to care for your hands too.
Take advantage of the sales
These last few days before Christmas, all the retailers drop their prices to snag those last minute present-hunters. Make sure you put some money aside and buy a present for yourself! My dad wears the same tired Christmas themed t-shirt every year to the family lunch, but this year I’ve hooked him up with a nice new collared shirt — maybe you should have a new outfit for the big day too? Buy that book you’ve heard good things about and find some time over the festive break to lie on the couch or hammock with it. There’s a lot of music festivals coming up — why not grab some tickets and go along? That James Bond box set you’ve been eyeing up is probably discounted now, or maybe you can join your favourite sports team’s fan club — you’ll get cheap exclusive tickets to games and some exclusive merchandise.
There’s nothing wrong with buying a Christmas present for yourself, so don’t feel guilty. Besides, indulging in something just for you can really lift your spirits if you’re feeling down. And I won’t even make you wait until Tuesday to unwrap it!
Grab some lunch with ‘The Boys’
The festive season is a great excuse to just hang out with friends. Guys aren’t usually the kind to go to a restaurant together and have a meal, but you’ll find if you suggest to the lads that you catch up and have a bite to celebrate the end of year, they’re more likely to agree. Pick somewhere a little fancier than you’d usually go, have a few drinks, some good food and some laughs.
If you can’t agree on lunch, meet up somewhere else and hang out. The most important thing is that it’s just you and them. It’s important to be with loved ones and family this time of year of course, but make sure you take some time out with your mates too.
Spring-clean your soul
If you’re stressed out about money or work or life, your personal relationships are sure to suffer. And you’ll forgive the phrase, but it really does takes some balls for a man to take the high road, say sorry and mend some bridges.
Stop and think — have you been snapping at your wife or girlfriend lately because you’re so stressed out? Have you made work or other things a priority lately and lost contact with your mates? Did you and your brother have a big fight and falling out during the year? Christmas is a great time to spring-clean your soul, and New Year is perfect to wipe the slate clean in all aspects of your life. Take note of what’s more important in your life and strive for it. You’ll be surprised at how much these little speed-bumps in our relationships with friends and loved ones can eat away at you below the surface and what a relief it can be to have that important someone back in your life again. So get out there and make amends!
Audrey xoxo
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Thanks for the article. I think I’m going to be forwarding this to some of my guy friends who need this.
I always feel bad for some males at Christmas time. My little brother is the shy metal head black sheep in the family who sits in the coner, and I am sure he finds my rather loud family scary…so I will most defently pass this on to him….hahahaha we’re getting our hair done for Christmas so he can look like how he wants to look instead of a werewolf.
i just went and had a 45 minute deep tissue massage, it was the most delightfully painful thing ever. but now i feel like i could take on the world.
Perfect advice, especially about the lads wot lunch idea. Gastropubs are the ideal location for the get together!
Going to a show is another good idea. I went to see Aimee Mann’s holiday variety show – it was fantastic at restoring my soul!
Particularly like your point on – Spring clean your soul.
At this time of year (Christmas/New Year) millions of us make all kinds of resolutions that never result in genuine change, even though we desperately want it.
Not because we don’t have the potential or ability, but because we simply don’t finish what we start.
Is there any chance we could swap a New Years Resolution for a ‘Today Resolution’.
Great advice – showing this to the boy!
x
i just noticed you said that suicide rates raise during the holidays but they actually don’t! which is a good thing!
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/suicide.asp
(i trust snopes to be a reliable source)
just pointing out that it’s not as bad as some may make it out to be!
i do understand your point though, the christmas season can be SO stressful! and your suggestions are great :) i’ll have to guide my guy-friends to this article
I love the phrase ‘spring cleaning your soul’. It makes me excited about doing spring cleaning (mental and otherwise) before the New Year!
I’m a Christmas grinch this year I’m afraid- I’m a homesick and I miss my mum :( I’m excited by the idea of having a deep tissue masage- I hear they’re torturously fabulous?
Sarah – thanks for the link, I’ll check it out. I’d read something in a magazine here stating otherwise… though maybe that was male specific..? In any respect, stress and depressions definitely on the rise at this time!
Craig – you got the right idea! New Years is perfect excuse for a clean slate or fresh start but I too avoid making a ‘resolution’.
I had a lovely, free hand massage in a Body Shop once, with cocoa butter scrub. I didn’t have to book; the shop assistant just offered to demonstrate the products on me. Proper massages sound amazing, though.
aren’t you a darling.