Audrey's Guide To Baldness
[ 13 December 2007 ]
A friend recently had to come to terms with the fact that yes, he was indeed losing his hair. It came as quite a shock as he’s not exactly “old”, is quite virile and healthy. Unfortunately, male pattern baldness is a fact of life.
The best way to deal with it is to first understand it. So let’s get you up to speed. You may not realise or believe it, but an average male adult can lose hundreds of strands of hair from their scalp every day. So those few strands you find on your pillow or on the shoulders of your jacket or clogging the drain in the morning? It happens to all of us. Don’t stress too much if this is what you’re finding right now – it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going bald.
The problem is that some men’s bodies stop replacing these hairs and so the balding spots appear. Generally speaking you’ll start
noticing it on the crown of your head, maybe the temples, or perhaps the hairline that runs across the top of your brow. This is why it’s called ‘pattern’ baldness.
Keep in mind that the worst thing to do is panic and get depressed about it. There’s so much you can do to counteract it, hide it well, or better yet — embrace it! My first word of advice is that like all of life’s little curve-balls, this is only going to be a big issue if YOU make it a big issue. Accept what’s going on, and you’ve taken the first and biggest step to a solution.
How to accept it
There are countless reasons as to why no hair can be a good thing. I’m not lying when I tell you that a lot of women find hairless guys attractive. Jude Law constantly makes girls swoon, and he’s starting to go bald across his hairline. A nice smooth scalp or some bristly fuzz can be quite a turn-on for a girl. There’s some sort of theory buzzing around about a bald head being somewhat… er… “phallic” in appearance. Not totally phallic — I’m not saying that’s what your head is going to look like to everybody. But apparently it’s enough to subliminally affect some thoughts inside the heads of the fairer sex. Don’t ask me — I’m no therapist. Just take advantage of it!
Remember: the head and scalp are one of the most sensitive areas of the human body. Why do you think there’s so much hair protecting it? And why do you think we secretly love getting our hair washed and heads massaged when we go to the hairdresser? Don’t pretend you hate it, I know the truth! Having no hair there means easy access for fingers, and more feeling for you when someone is touching your head and neck. Much more sensual than having your lover just grabbing handfuls of hair while in the throes of passion.
The best thing to do is just get it out in the open. Look around. You’ll be surprised how many other bald or balding guys there are in the world, or on tv, or in movies. Until now, you just haven’t really taken notice of them because you didn’t need to. And pretty soon you’ll see my point about who makes it work and who thinks they’re hiding it, but aren’t.
If you have someone special in your life, talk to them about it. Don’t be afraid, just be honest. Tell them about what’s going on, and that you’re feeling a bit weird and self-conscious about the whole thing. I’m sure you’ll get nothing but support from them, and it’s always good facing a problem together, rather than thinking you’re on your own. And if you’re NOT in a relationship, this is a great opportunity to reinvent yourself and unleash a new you! No really, it is — and I’m actually jealous of you for it.
How to embrace it
No word of a lie: I made a pact with myself at a very young age that if I ever start going bald, I’m going to shave my head. So do that! Don’t let those stupid little hair follicles get the better of you! Have the last laugh and beat them at their own game! Show those bastards who’s boss! You don’t need them!
It’s scary, I know. Right now I couldn’t imagine myself with absolutely nothing on my noodle. I’m really tall and pretty skinny — yeah, I’d look pretty weird if I went bald. But the trick to embracing a new look is making it work for you. Some fresh clothes, a little style, maybe a tan; you’ll be surprised how tweaking the other aspects of your look and appearance will drastically alter the lack of hair on your head. The best illustration of this fact is Neil Strauss, author of ‘The Game’. While I don’t necessarily condone some of his actions in his book, I do admit it’s a damn good read. And he’s a perfect example of what a razor, some sunshine and a new wardrobe can do for an average looking guy.
No disrespect, but that’s a HUGE improvement.
Get yourself into a gym and get the rest of you looking great, and having no hair will start to bother you less. Focus your hair-growing talents on a great beard or moustache if you think you can pull it off. Plus, think of how much time you’ll save in the morning not having to brush or put product in your hair. The world is your oyster and your shiny new head is the pearl inside!
How to hide it
If you can’t step up and accept it, that’s okay. Really. It is a big change. I still think you should push your limits, but there’s nothing wrong with being self-conscious while you get used to it, and wanting to hide it for a while. Just remember though, there’s a very fine line between hiding your balding issues well, and looking like you’re flat out in denial. Guys who adopt any sort of combover are actually drawing attention to the fact it’s there. You’re not fooling anybody, especially us tall people who can still see the top of your head. And growing the rest of your head long does NOT fool the rest of us at all.
Speak to your hairdresser. Not a barber — an actual hair stylist. I’ve always wondered what a guy actually asks for when he sits in the barber’s chair before walking out with a combover… “Yeah, just trim the back and sides kind of short, but leave this huge wavy line of hair down to my shoulders please — I like to flick it over.” Have a talk with them and be honest. Tell them you’ve discovered you’re going bald or that your hair’s starting to thin, and that you’d like to deal with it and hide it in a fashionable way. If you’re only going a little bald, a quick change in style can hide it well. It might even be as simple as flipping a fringe so it sweeps right instead of left. A lighter tone in hair colour might also disguise the fact that it’s thinner, or even changing from a long style to a messy, cropped one will do the trick.
Please do NOT invest in any wig, hairpiece or spray on head colourer you see on late night television. These are for creepy old men who ogle girls in public places and scare children. You don’t want to be that guy. Instead, open yourself up to the world of hats, beanies and other head fashion. Accessories for guys have been HUGE for the past few seasons so take a cue from Pete Doherty and invest in a few stylish hats and make it your thing.
How to counteract it
I admit, I’m not really qualified to comment or advise on medical advancements to cure baldness. But I’ve seen the ads, I’ve heard the stories — I know what bitchy people say in sitcoms about the guy in the office who has ‘plugs’. All I can say is that I do know that rejuvenation is more successful the younger you are and the less balding you are. So don’t be scared — go see your doctor about it as soon as you think it’s a problem.
As a firm believer of the groomed man, I do offer the following advice: take care of your hair. Keep it clean, and choose shampoo and conditioner that’s right for your hair. Buying these from a supermarket is fine, but cheaper products can contain a lot of the wrong types of chemicals, so speak with a professional when you get a cut and consider spending that extra on the range or products they stock at the salon. Dry it vigorously with a towel, and avoid straighteners and blowdryers (if you do use these, make sure you counter-balance their use with a good hair treatment). Comb or brush your hair often, even if your ‘do is a messy one.
Remember, there’s no foolproof cure or preventative to baldness. So love your hair while you’ve still got it.
Extra For Experts:
Bald ‘R’ Us — Good advice and tips written by guys going through the same thing.
Bluey Day — If you’re gonna shave it, why not raise some money in the meantime?
Bald men on Flickr — Self-explanatory, really!
Audrey xoxo
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I so giggled when I read about the spray on hair comment…I can’t imagine hair coming out of a can…you can always grow a massive beard and join a metal band…but there are plenty of hot men without hair- look at vin deasil I am pretty sure that my friends where all lusting over him, and we were like what 16?
Not to mention Andre Agassi & Bruce Willis! Rawr! It really is all in how you rock it.
Audrey you write so amazingly well! I’m SO glad you guys are collaborating! Excellent article, maybe I’ll send it to my poor dad … teehee
London Love! xx
I had a dream about going bald last night…
I’m really scared now. :(
I agree that going bald can even be a good thing. Like Audrey said, it’s all about embracing it. So if it’s happening to you, why not just take it as another rite of passage from boyhood to manhood? I can imagine it’s quite traumatic if your hair is falling out, but speaking from my point of view, if a guy rocks his baldness, it’s usually very hot and masculine. Take the guys Christy and Gala mentioned, for example, or my boyfriend … ;
) :) ;-)Neil Strauss’s book is such a good read. I got all giddy when I saw it mentioned in iCiNG! Anyway, my sister’s husband shaved himself bald, and it didn’t detract from his looks at all.
Other option if you want to do something with all that hair you cut off: send it to save sea otters!
Matter of Trust, a California nonprofit, weaves hair clippings (in any condition) into oil-absorbing mats that are remarkably good at cleaning up oil spills.
http://www.matteroftrust.org/programs/hairmatsinfo.html
Phoaarrr.. some of the sexiest men on the planet are bald or balding: my husband, Patrick Stewart (Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek) and Sean Connery..
YUM. Be bald and be PROUD!!!
I learned to love bald guys thanks to my grandma, she told me that sometimes guys have too much testosterone and go bald, grrrr!
This is a great article, and I like the shaving head idea, but what if your head is a weird shape?
Some people just have ‘lumpy’ heads, like my best friend for example. I guess you could always wear a hat, but I wouldn’t recommend shaving your head if it wasn’t a nice shape like the guy in the photo you posted.
Then again, I could be wrong.
I LOVE bald guys with shaved heads… as long as, like Travis says, their heads are a nice shape! My boyfriend is balding and a friend who was a hairdresser and myself, convinced him to try shaving his head a few years ago, and his reaction was ‘How come you never suggested this earlier??’ he loves it and so do I. He is so hot, and he has a hot chopper moustache to boot! Baldy love, emma xx
“Remember: the head and scalp are one of the most sensitive areas of the human body. Why do you think there’s so much hair protecting it? And why do you think we secretly love getting our hair washed and heads massaged when we go to the hairdresser? Don’t pretend you hate it, I know the truth!”
SO TRUE. It’s the best part of going to the hairdresser! :D
I will say it again:
Audrey, I think you deserve your own blog for stylish men. I believe that very few men are going to be reading a blog with pink all over it! I love this blog but it is decidedly girly.
And you deserve a wider audience.
Favourite bald man: Patrick Stewart. Whooo! He is so sexy, and I’m not even ashamed to say it (despite the fact he looks like my grandfathers twin. but I have a good looking gramps) And when his head is completly shaved he looks twenty years younger.
Travis – I really don’t think looking good depends on the shape of someone’s head. Neil even states at the start of the book that he thinks he has ‘knobbly bits’ on the sides of his head, and lists a range of other things he doesn’t like about himself. Yet, by the end of the book he’s dating one of Courtney Love’s guitarists.
The secret is to be comfortable and confident in yourself, even about those little things you have that stick out. They’re what make you you. Trust me, for every thing you dislike about yourself, there’s a billion people in the world that will find it cute or sexy or it just might be their ‘button’. Personally, I hate my nose, but I’ve dated girls that think its adorable.
- Audrey.x
Thanks for the advise Audrey, I guess it’s like that one saying “Confidence is the sexyest thing a person can have.” Or something along the lines of that.
As for that book, I think I’ll take your advise and get it for Christmas.
Travis – its a definite good read. Some good advice buried amongst some totally jerk ideals, but a good read nonetheless.
You could always do what The Edge from U2 does (as my die-hard U2 stalker sister tells me) and wear a hat all the time to cover the baldness! Although that’s not such a practical suggestion if you’re not a rockstar who’s allowed to wear a hat anywhere ;)
That bit about hair pieces made me think about my nasty old boss. He wore a toupee and my best friend/workmate and I used to have to try really hard not to giggle when he had it reglued and dyed because it was just soooo obvious – even from far away!
My dad has been balding since I was 8 or so – this year he shaved what was left off – I was against it initially but when he decided to do it, I helped him, and have to admit, it does look good. He insists women keep telling him he looks younger ;)
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU (!!!!) for writing this article! I just started to thin out, and as a 20 year old gay male… it’s killing me. But thanks to your article, I’m feeling a little more confident about things. I still have a ton of hair to lose yet before it’s a big deal, but it’s been bothering me a lot. Girls have it easier when it comes to things like this!
Cheryl – I could have my own blog, but I love iCiNG and Gala too damn much to uproot and go elsewhere now.
The whole point of our collaboration is the fact that Gala gets quite a few male-relevant questions that she doesn’t have the knowhow to answer, so approached me to step up and be iCiNG’s resident boy. (And boy-translator for any females out there who have a question or a problem with your significant other).
You’d probably be surprised how many guys actually do read iCiNG though. So guys, speak up and leave comments so we know you’re around! To be honest though, I’m moreso loving the fact that girls are leaving comments, saying they’re going to forward my words to the men in their life.
I think I don’t agree with the shaved head as a pancea. The boyfriend did this for his male pattern baldness, and went from touchable, soft fluffy hair to a prickly scalp, which due to the nature of his balding pattern, has a floral shape emblazoned in the back of his skull when his hair starts growing back.
Then again, I come from a clan with female pattern baldness, which is gradual thinning over the course of a lifetime, so some day I may be the one contemplating the razor.
here’s something else that’s cheerful: baldness is also caused by high levels of testosterone. There’s a reason so many of virile men are bald.=)
thanks for being so sensitive i have a friend in the uk who is planning to emigrate to oz in the near futurebut is worried about how his baldness will play on the beach with the babes..any advice would be deeply appreciated..contact malcolm powers on Janestheone(blogsite)
well im a 25year old Male reading this article and I feel confidence now.. I started going bald about a year ago and now its too the point of the front and the back fading really bad…I shaved my head A month ago and i dont have a odd shaped head or anything and it boosted my confidence alot. But when i came from a guy that had hair to going bald my friends looked at me crazy and found it weird so i decided to see what it looked like again when my hair grew back out. And guess what it looks 10x’s worse. so now after I read your article im shaving my head first thing tomorrow. If they are my friends deal with it because I have to deal with it myself. Losing hair is a very bad thing to come across. Im not a ugly person at all but a baby face guy like me losing hair can really kill your confidence when growing up people looked at you as cute or fine and whatever else and now its like I dont even want to run into anybody I used to know.. But i guess confidence is a big issue and its a mountain that needs to be climbed over. seeing this issue from a female perspective really was great. Thanks