Carousel: Drag Queens And Self-Love, MDMA As Therapy, And Why Women Don’t Keep Their Maiden Names


Happy almost-October! I have to admit that I’m finding all this Fall energy really inspiring. My mind is spinning with projects — I am literally in the middle of four big ones right now! — and all of this in addition to reworking my site. Yes! So exciting. I can’t wait for my new site to go live, and to show you everything else I’ve been cooking up. Something about the fact that the year is coming to a close has kicked my butt into high gear, and I’m loving it.

Without further ado, here are a WHOLE lot of links to finish off your month!

RuPaul won an Emmy and so he has been doing interviews like mad, which of course, I love. Here are some goodies: RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Art of Self-Love. Here’s why the fashion world loves Drag Race. (Duh.) ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Highlights the Struggle for Acceptance. How RuPaul Does It All—and Doesn’t Look Back. And RuPaul on Plastic Surgery and Being ‘Well’. Enjoy!

Instagram ‘celebrities’ are destroying the fashion industry. Substance, substance, substance.

When the fashion industry funds virtual “hearts” instead of real soul, we send a message to future generations that looking pretty is the same thing as creating beauty and building a “lifestyle brand” is the same thing as having a life. That’s just not true.

Apparently people who love gin are psychopaths. Okay then! Good to know!

Yumna Al-Arashi Is Upending the Stereotypes That Shackle Muslim Women. Yumna is great, I love her, and am so happy for her.

Gabrielle Union on sexual assault.

What happens when you use MDMA in a therapeutic setting to strengthen bonds with your lover or family?

Have your MDMA experiences changed the way you deal with conflict? Absolutely, yes. MDMA is egolytic [ego-dissolving] and the power struggle is between two egos. So, the more that the two egos feel separate, the more polarized the power struggle is. [With MDMA] you can empathically toggle between your perspective and theirs.

Here are 10 ways you can increase dopamine levels in the brain without medication.

I loved this. The war on drugs is an epic fail, narrated by Jay-Z and drawn by my girl Molly Crabapple! Here’s the other side of the story, told from a woman’s point of view.

How to be a writer: 10 tips from Rebecca Solnit. Genius.

Listen to your own feedback and remember that you move forward through mistakes and stumbles and flawed but aspiring work, not perfect pirouettes performed in the small space in which you initially stood. Listen to what makes your hair stand on end, your heart melt, and your eyes go wide, what stops you in your tracks and makes you want to live, wherever it comes from, and hope that your writing can do all those things for other people.

It’s hard to find vagina supplies, you know?

Sky Brown is 8 years old and she’s the youngest girl to ever skate in the Vans US Open Pro series. Badass!

I realised a while ago that friendships only deepen — or move past shallow waters — when we are vulnerable with one another, and this piece really sums it up. Friendship and vulnerability from The Book Of Life.

We get close to someone the more they – and we – find ourselves able gracefully to depart from the official story of what human beings are like, and can start to show the awkward truths which underlie the cheerful facade. These are the truths with which we have been lonely for too long: how unlike ‘normal’ sexuality our sex lives actually are; how full of envy our careers are proving; how unsatisfactory our family can be; how worried we are all the time.

Why So Few Women Keep Their Maiden Names. The percentage of women who keep their maiden names is at the same level it was in the 1970s. So why does the tradition persist?

“One family, one name. If she didn’t take my name, I’d seriously question her faith in us lasting as a couple. And I don’t want hyphenated kids,” wrote in Brandon Robert Joseph Peyton, an easily emasculated man-child with four first names.

A response to Marc Jacobs’ ridiculous excusing of white models in dreadlocks.

This is a 3D model of a clitoris – and the start of a sexual revolution.

James Altucher wrote about Dolf Lundgren, but not really.

I threw out everything I owned. But that is not minimalism. Minimalism is when I can throw out the thoughts in my head. The thoughts in my head are usually anxious, paranoid, panicked, etc. But when I have fewer thoughts it’s like watching a permanent sunset. So with each thought, I try to practice this: Label the thought “useful”, or “not useful”. When I am good at doing this I find I bounce back from loss incredibly quickly. When things are really bad, all I have to do is remind myself to label each thought.

I Used to Be a Human Being. An endless bombardment of news and gossip and images has rendered us manic information addicts. This is a really good read. I’ve started to think that we use cellphones the way we used to use cigarettes: as a physical barrier, to keep us safe, and to keep others away.

Rainbow art installations are good for you.

What’s the real reason white people say “all lives matter”? SIGH.

The problem with being “colorblind” — aside from the fact that we’re not really — is that it is really a white privilege to be able to ignore race.

I was interviewed for the Being Boss podcast with my girl Shauna, and we talked about business besties, balancing friendship and business when you go into business with a friend, doing what you believe in (despite the haters), and how to make friends as an adult.

This article is TRULY excellent: 8 ways you can survive and thrive in midlife. At every stage of life, you should be a rookie at something. Fuck yeah! And other great stuff.

Clayton Christensen at Harvard Business School describes the eroding effect of short-term decisions — specifically, doing the activity that brings you immediate gratification (such as work) and putting off harder but ultimately more fulfilling activities (such as investing in your marriage and children). I talked with many people who privileged work over family because work brought immediate rewards.

My Weirdly Life-Changing Month Using Affirmation Apps. I love this! Have a read.

Apparently Staying Friends With Your Ex Is Ruining Your Current Relationship. I don’t think this is necessarily true for everyone, but it’s worth a read to see if you recognise yourself in some of these behaviours.

Your Instagram photos can reveal whether you have depression. I’ve been saying this forever! Colour is meaningful!

Ever wondered about all those ridiculous “tummy teas” on Instagram? Check this out: Teatox Party. How laxative teas took over Instagram, one $250,000 celebrity endorsement at a time.

The depiction of NYC apartments in television has shifted rapidly since the heady days of Carrie Bradshaw’s $750/month apartment with a walk-in closet. Fictional New York City Apartments Get Real.

Kim Kardashian doesn’t give a fuck what you say.

The Dirty 30 Commandments of Working for Yourself: How to Slay Like an Unf*ckwithable Boss. YES girl.

Here’s how to DIY a writing retreat that is super-cheap, and super-effective.

Below is a video from my friend Terri Cole about healthy love. You’ll learn how to authentically apologize, why it’s important to show physical affection, how flexibility could change your relationship and your life, when jealousy is actually just insecurity (hint: always!), and how to appreciate every day with your partner.





Have a beautiful weekend!

Photo via Gucci. Meeeeeeeeow.

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