Carousel: Resist The Internet, Stop Apologising, And Hating Your Friend’s Social Media Presence

Happy June, and happy almost-Summer! It’s heating up in New York (finally!) and I’m thoroughly enjoying the feeling of walking the streets in a sun-dress. I hope that, no matter where you are, you’re enjoying the heightened communication, collaboration, and enthusiastic vibes of Gemini season.

Here are some of my favourite discoveries of the last couple of months. I hope you find them equally fascinating!

Please don’t cancel. A plea to stop stopping ourselves, from one of my favourite babes, Alexandra Franzen.

More Love Letters is a really cool thing!

You really do look like your name, which is why changing it is a way you can truly reclaim your identity. The ultimate magical act!

Maybe Monogamy Isn’t the Only Way to Love. What’s the science behind open relationships?

Here’s why having sex more often makes you a happier person. I always love research on things like this!

Angelina’s Divorce Shows How ‘Failed Marriages’ Are Failing Us. Plenty of food for thought here. And after my piece about divorce last month, which resonated with HUGE amounts of you, it seems we need to reframe how we think about divorce… And give ourselves permission to change what truly isn’t working.

It would be absurd to think that sticking it out in a sexless, alcoholic, and abusive relationship until somebody dies is success, while sharing a respectful, loving bond for 5, 10, or 50 years and then realizing that you’ve grown apart is failure.

This is for all my friends who had lip piercings in the 2000s… Let the Bodies Hit the Floor: How Today’s Club Music is Influenced by Alt-Rock and Nu-Metal.

Here’s how to keep a long-distance friendship alive. Just like you might imagine, there’s a science — and an art! — to it.

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts lately. James Altucher’s is a favourite. Check out these extremely inspiring interviews with Tony Robbins and Sara Blakely (the inventor of Spanx).

This is wise: Being Your True Self in a Relationship Is Less Important Than Being Your Best Self.

‘Jesus Hasn’t Saved Us’: The Young Black Women Returning to Ancestral Religions. On Comfa and African spirituality.

4 Takeaways From the Rise and Fall of Nasty Gal. It’s a fascinating story, but what can we learn from it?

On the problem with motivational quotes.

Scientific research has shown that motivational quotes make us feel the same as actually accomplishing something. If that is correct, then that’s a very, very, very bad thing. It reduces our capacity and willingness to then take real action because we already feel good about ourselves and fulfilled (and creativity doesn’t typically happen when we feel those things).

Worrying Is ‘Like Doing Two Things at Once’. In other words, if you’re stressed out about something, you essentially cannot do anything else. This is where your radical self love toolkit — meditation, journalling, therapy, tapping, acupuncture, etc. — comes in!

The Original Natural Remedy for Burnout: Nature. If you needed a little inspiration to get out of the house, read this!

You Can Be Happy and Lonely at the Same Time. It’s true.

Resist the internet!

How Daughters of Narcissists Can Survive and Thrive, from my dear friend and genius psychotherapist Terri Cole.

How Burlesque Dancer Amanda Lepore Became a Transgender Icon. I saw Amanda crossing the street the other day in a leopard trenchcoat! Seeing her in the wild in NYC is like seeing Angelyne in Los Angeles, always an exciting moment.

The Pitfalls & Promises on the Spiritual Path. A fantastic interview with Danielle LaPorte.

Why fashion designers are obsessed with the supernatural. Yesssssssss. More please!

Fyre Fest was a mess. But you knew that already…

Exercise changes your brain and here’s why people who exercise a lot are so damn happy. Plus, here’s how running and meditation change the brains of the depressed.

Let’s stop apologising for our late email replies. Because life happens.

You May Have A Poor Person’s Mindset And Not Know It. Have a read.

This Year’s DragCon Was a Reminder That Drag Has Always Been the Resistance and DragCon is coming to NYC! September 30th! See you thereeeee!

The Emancipation of the MILF. Does sexual freedom belong only to the young? Claire Dederer doesn’t think so.

When You Love Your Friend But Hate Her Social-Media Presence. Oh man. What a conundrum. What to do?

The Mysterious Allure of a Foreign Drugstore. I feel this so hard!

To the beach, they say. To the unspeakably beautiful church at the top of the hill, with the cypress trees all around and the orange blossoms, and the navy blue expanse of the Adriatic. I hold up my hand and I say, No. We will do all of these things in time. But first, the drugstore.

‘I Found the Perfect Woman — Except for One Problem’. Advice for the picky dater.

To Get Better at Reading People’s Feelings, Pay Attention to Your Own Body. Empathy can be developed by tuning into yourself!

Drag Queen Story Hour Puts the Rainbow in Reading. Drag queens in New York do storytime at the public libraries. Best idea ever.

 I’m obsessed with this interview with Londin Angel Winters and Justin Patrick Pierce about polarity in relationships. Please listen to it, I think you will find it unbelievably illuminating, no matter where you fall on the sexual spectrum.

The Writer’s Process. Ahahahah. I dieddddd!

I remain seated at my desk for the entirety of my writing session. (I do not attempt to convince myself that I could be just as productive if I were writing in bed, and that it would be kind of fun and “like college.”) I don’t need to disable my Internet connection, because—honestly?—I’m not even tempted. I understand that social media does not hold the answers I seek, and that looking at it will only make me feel terrible. And, what’s more, my understanding of this fact translates seamlessly into my actual behavior. I have a friendly relationship with the mysterious forces that govern my creative inspiration—my muses, if you will. When they visit me, a soft smile alights on my lips. “Hello, old friends,” I murmur fondly. My experience of writing is a giddy, pleasurable one, and does not feel like being trapped inside a cage that is on fire.

Witchy ways to find love in NYC. Magic!

This is the most LA thing I’ve ever read!

Only 15% Of People Are Self-Aware — Here’s How To Change. Good tips.

Why Everyone Loves the Alpha Girl, or, what happens to cool girls after high school?

We Asked Couples Why They Opened Up Their Relationship.

About five years ago, my ex-wife told me she had fallen in love with another man. But she taught me the most profound lesson: no matter who you are, your partner could wake up one day and not be in love with you anymore. And that’s no one’s fault. I realized that my next relationship needed to be open because I no longer have the desire to control my partner. Control is just an illusion anyway.

How to win over any ENFP. Daaaaaaamn. This is so accurate!

The Definition Of Hell For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type. Ahahaha, oh my god.

What Happens Between Before and After. A rarely seen side of plastic surgery. This photo essay freaked me out and then I dreamed about surgery, which was a bit creepy too, so if you’re a sensitive soul… Don’t click on this one.

Finally, Terri created a one love meditation in response to the attack in Manchester. Listen to it for global connectedness and healing.

 

 

Kisses,

Photo by Kimberley Gordon.

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@galadarling on Instagram

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