Category Archives: lifestyle

Loving Yourself Is A Revolutionary Act: The Radical Self Love Commandments

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Make no mistake: radical self love is vitally important. It has a very real effect on your life, and the lives of everyone around you. In today’s world, for example, being unable to see your worth can result in voting for a hateful misogynist. You do not exist in a bubble. If you don’t believe that you deserve basic human rights, you will pass that poisonous ideology onto the rest of us.

I have been saying for the longest time that LOVING YOURSELF IS A REVOLUTIONARY ACT. Now that’s even more obvious, and even more pressing.

Radical self love is not — and has never been — about taking a bubble bath.

So, where do we begin? Yes, learning to loving yourself and starting to treat yourself with respect are big jobs. Here are ten principles that can guide you when you feel lost.

TREAT YOURSELF LIKE YOUR OWN LOVER

Cast your mind back to those heady days when you’re first falling in love. You’re fascinated by the other person, endlessly curious about what makes them tick, and making the effort to present as your best self. You get dressed up, you go on adventures together, and in doing so, you see the world through fresh eyes.

It’s a beautiful thing: assuming the best about someone else, appreciating them for their little quirks, and being so happy to spend time in their company.

So what if we could treat ourselves this way too? What if we could be excited about our idiosyncrasies, instead of berating ourselves?  What if we could be curious about what makes us tick, rather than being disappointed that we don’t have all the answers yet? What if we made the effort to dress up and take ourselves out on radical self love dates? What if we really showed up for life?

Imagine how different things would be.

RISKS CREATE MAGIC

I believe that we get out of life what we put into it. When we make the effort to create magic in our own lives, to love other people the way they want to be loved, and to do what is difficult, we will always be rewarded.

I’ve discovered that when I take risks and go outside of my comfort zone the most AMAZING things happen. But that doesn’t occur when I stay safe and small. The juiciness is always on the other side of something scary.

Avoid people who are professionally negative, professionally nervous, professionally insecure. It’s hard not to pick up their attitudes.

In order to create the world we want to live in, WE HAVE TO TAKE ACTION. We don’t have the luxury of staying in our beds and pretending things are going in another direction. We have all been complacent for too long. Now it is time for us to get off our asses, and experience the terrifying thrill of REALLY DOING SOMETHING.

You are SO magical. You are so bold. You have so much power inside you. Don’t waste your time with anyone who can’t see that.

NOT EVERY DAY CAN BE THE BEST DAY

Our energy is always oscillating. Some days we feel like a fountain of rainbow sprinkles shooting into a cotton-candy sky, and other days, even peeping our head out above the blankets can feel like a struggle.

Let’s stop expecting that we will be able to “crush it!” every single day. It’s not realistic and it sets us up for failure and disappointment. When you’re riding shotgun with the muse, by all means, get your life, honey! But it’s okay to have days that feel a little underwhelming, too.

Our best recourse in these moments is to have massive amounts of patience and self-compassion. When you feel low ebb, take it as a sign that you need to fill up your emotional tank. Devote more time to doing something that makes you happy.

Even though every day cannot be the best day, we do have the power to dictate what we do with the circumstances life throws at us. So make choices that strengthen you, and take care of yourself no matter what.

STOP SEARCHING FOR YOUR “PURPOSE”

There is no such thing. Our purpose is whatever we say it is. The meaning of life is whatever we bring to it. It’s that simple.

So many people are waiting to find out their purpose. That is just fear, dressed as  perfectionism, manifesting as procrastination. None of us have one true reason for being on the planet.

Whatever brings you joy, whatever perpetuates that spark inside you, whatever gets you out of bed in the morning? That’s the meaning of your life. It’s up to you to find that, and then pursue it with all your energy!

And if you don’t know what to do with your life, or which direction to go in, the answer is actually very simple. Pick one thing, and give it everything you’ve got. Reassess three months later. You’ll know whether to keep on the same track, or whether to try something new.

ALLOW YOUR JUDGEMENT MUSCLE TO ATROPHY

We use judgement of other people as a way of deflecting how bad we feel about ourselves. In that moment where we’re talking about how someone else is dressed or how they did this or that, we find temporary relief from our own inner torment.

It works for a short time, but it’s a temporary buzz. And the problem with exercising that judgment muscle is that it only gets stronger. Which means that it’s even more vicious and accurate when it — inevitably — turns and works its nasty magic on you.

We are all in this together, really and truly. The idea that it is “us” versus “them” is toxic, dangerous, and perpetuates so much hatred.

Stop talking shit about other people. Refuse to buy tabloids or look at gossip websites. And watch your life expand.

REFRAME YOUR VIEW OF FITNESS

A lot of us see fitness as some form of ancient torture, or — more accurately — punishment for not looking the way we want to. But really, working out is one of the best ways you can show your body how much you love it.

Exercise is also one of the most fast-acting examples of the immense power of our thoughts.

When you’re halfway through a set of ten push-ups, you might get to number seven and feel exhausted. In this moment you have two choices. You can think to yourself, ‘Oh God, this hurts too much. I can’t do this.’ And if you think that, you’ll probably quit. But if you instead tell yourself, ‘This hurts but I can do three more! This is easy. I am so much stronger than I think’, you will be able to finish the set.

Getting to our fullest potential depends entirely on the thoughts we think. We can select thoughts that weaken us and make us doubt our capabilities, or we can pick thoughts that literally strengthen us.

Once you experience this phenomenon, the power of the mind cannot be doubted. And you have yet another tool in your arsenal that can deploy at will.

CELEBRATE EVERY SINGLE DAY

You never know how long you have. This could be your last hour on the planet. So stop delaying pleasure and waiting for “special occasions” to live the life that you could be living every single day.

Wear your favourite dress. Use that fabulous bedding (and stop worrying about whether it might get a stain on it). Spray yourself with incredible perfume. Pull a tarot card every morning if it pleases you. Make time to see your friends.

We have the luxury of designing our lives in a way that suits us, so why not live a life that brings you joy? Don’t squander this one, delicious opportunity to be potently, vivaciously alive.

ASK YOURSELF HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL

“How do I want to feel?” is one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. Because when you know how you want to feel — say, for example, you want to feel FREE — that provides clues as to what you should be doing with your time, energy, attention, and money.

It also shows you where your life isn’t in alignment.

For example, if you want to feel free, but you also want to take on a huge debt, or tether yourself to a physical location, that’s going to create conflict in your life.

If you want to feel joyful, but you’re married to a cynic, that’s not going to go well either!

The plan? Structure your life so that your goals are in sync with the way you want to feel. The result? Pure bliss.

(Full credit to my girl Danielle LaPorte and her book The Desire Map for this idea.)

RECOGNISE THAT CHANGE IS PAINFUL AND UGLY

When I look around, I see a lot of people who are trying to transcend their pain. They’re desperately trying to meditate/yoga/green juice/gratitude it all away.

Now, all of those tools are great, but their purpose is not to eradicate pain completely. Pain is here no matter what we do. And in fact, pain helps us. Pain is a teacher. it’s here to show us what we need to know and how we need to change.

Spiritual bypasses never work.

We also have to recognise that change is seldom a pretty process. We all want to be living as the highest expression of ourselves, but getting there is never easy. It usually contains painful realisations, confusion, flailing, and tears. It is a continual striving towards a new and unfamiliar way of being.

If you’re signed on as a radical self love revolutionary, and if you’re committed to living your life like it’s golden (as Jill Scott would say), then you have to be prepared for the messiness.

The pain you’re feeling is an essential part of growth. If you try to avoid it, you won’t grow. You don’t get to dance around it. You have to go through it. It is the only way to transform.

CHOOSE GRATITUDE

Learning to practice gratitude on a regular basis has been one of the most revolutionary practices of my life. When I make an effort to focus on what is going well, my whole perspective on the world flips.

Gratitude is not about Pollyanna-ing your life away. It is not about burying your head in the sand or ignoring the very real problems that exist in our world. It is about recognising that there is always sweet with the sour.

2016 was an incredibly hard year for so many of us, capped off with an election that seemed to validate hatred, prejudice, and ignorance. Racism, police brutality, and blatant disrespect for women is rampant, and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. It’s heartbreaking, it’s disappointing, and it makes us want to take a big nap. But if that’s all we focus on, we’re going to get dragged down with it.

Gratitude is essential because it helps us realise that, no matter what it may look like on the outside, the world is FULL of incredible things, amazing people, beautiful ideas. And when we’re reminded of that, it gives us the power to keep going. It gives us the strength to keep fighting for what we believe is right. It gives us the courage to continue creating the world we want to live in.

Every morning, make a list of things you’re thankful for in your head, or in your phone, or with your lover, or in text messages with your friends. Be specific. Force yourself to dig deep and think about things that really light up your heart and elevate your spirit. Close your eyes and visualise each one as you contemplate it. It will completely transform your mood, and the way you interact with your environment.

I promise you, this universe is a beautiful place.

There is so much to be grateful for.

And your place amongst it is just as beautiful.

Love always,

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What The Hell Do We Do Now?

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It’s hard to know what to say. How did it all go so wrong? How can we be about to hand the reins of this country over to an orange sex pest? A man who mocks the disabled? A man who claims his accusers aren’t beautiful enough for him to sexually assault? A man for whom the KKK are about to throw a parade?

I woke up yesterday morning, lay in bed with my boyfriend, and cried. “How could half the country hate us so much?,” I asked through tears.

Make no mistake: the results of this election are extremely personal. This week, we have discovered — with indisputable proof — that middle America is terrified of change and progress. Half of the country is still living in the dark ages, quaking in their boots at the thought of giving equal rights to people of colour, scared of women having too much say or the right to their own body, threatened by anyone who is on the other side of the status quo.

And you know what? Maybe they should be. Maybe they should be afraid. Now we are going to be forced to unify, to work together. The backlash will be prompt, and very, very smart.

The thing that frustrates me most is that 45% of white, college-educated women voted for Trump, a self-confessed sexual predator. What the fuck is going on? How can white women vote for a candidate that so vocally demeans and debases women? It’s simple: internalised misogyny is real. Women need to love themselves more than ever, because when we don’t, these are the choices we make.

Let’s get something clear. Loving yourself is not about living in a bubble and acting purely out of self-interest. Loving yourself extends to loving other people: showing them the respect and courtesy that you show yourself. It keeps expanding outward beautifully. When you love yourself, you can see yourself in the other person! You recognise that there is no separation. What affects you affects me, and vice versa.

But even as I write this, I know I am preaching to the converted. I’ll lose a few people, but mostly, you are smart, savvy, compassionate babes. You know what’s up. The real question is, how do we get through to the people who don’t understand these concepts yet? How do we get them to care about people who don’t look or dress or talk like them? How do we help them see their own value? How do we teach them to treat themselves with respect?

As people who believe in love, justice, and truth, we are responsible for helping to educate the people who are still living in the dark ages — whether we like it or not.

The fear we’re feeling is not overblown. The predictions of what might happen to this country are not hyperbole. I wish they were, but they aren’t. Here are some examples of the ways in which truly repugnant people now feel empowered to behave. And here’s a little sample of what we could lose now that this bozo has been elected President.

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I know how dire it looks. But… I still believe in the good of people. Remember, Hillary won the popular vote! The country was flooded with protest marches last night. We still love each other. We still know what is right. We’re not despairing alone: every other intelligent and compassionate person in the country is in the same boat.

I hope against hope that, once in office, Trump will soften on his hateful rhetoric. That he will make kind choices. That he will recognise his awesome responsibility and do the right thing. Most of his party thinks he’s an incompetent moron: maybe they’ll block him the whole way.

I’m an optimist, I know. Perhaps absurdly so. But even though I’m hopeful, I also know that nothing is guaranteed. So we have to be ready.

On Facebook, my friend Tali posted,

Men, sane white people—you are needed for this revolution! We cannot preserve progress without people of privilege taking up the fight. And sometimes, friends, it IS spiritual to fight! We were born with voices, backbones and intuitions. They are meant to be used.

I’m not going to tell you to meditate through this. That might help your peace of mind, but it won’t help anything else. It is spiritual to fight! Prayer is not going to change the world. Ain’t no crystal gonna save us now. Sure, pray and charge your crystals if it makes you feel better, but don’t forget to pair it with action! 

If you’ve ever thought about getting involved in politics, this is your time! We need you! Things only change when we get involved at a local level. When we speak up and then follow it with ACTION.

Do you remember when Bush was up for re-election, and how many people insisted they’d move to Canada if he won? People have been saying the same thing about a Trump presidency. And that is certainly an option. Canada is lovely — who could blame you? But what we really need is for people to stay here and fight. We need bodies, and smart people leading the way.

We’ve all been watching the #blacklivesmatter movement for the past three years and wringing our hands as innocent black people die at the hands of police. Well, guess what? Now we’re all under attack. It looks like abortions may become inaccessible (and that women might be “punished” for getting them). It seems like gay marriage may be overturned. Let’s not even get into the millions of immigrants who are now afraid of how much longer they will be welcome in this country that they love and have contributed to.

This is OUR fight now. We have to stand shoulder-to-shoulder! We cannot simply abandon each other because we have the privilege of doing so. We cannot turn a blind eye and allow injustices to occur. It is unconscionable. What will you tell your children when they ask you what you did to help?

Even if Hillary — or, can you imagine, BERNIE! — had won, that wouldn’t mean we get to just kick back on a lily-pad and braid each others’ hair. A country is great because of its PEOPLE. We have to be involved, no matter what.

 

So, what can you do?

Take responsibility. I can own where I haven’t done or said enough. Where I haven’t made my views clear. Where I have tolerated misogyny or subtle racism or xenophobia. I claim it. I need to do better, and I will. We could ALL be doing more. You know it, and I know it too.

As tempting as it is to unfriend every Trump supporter you’ve ever known — including your family — don’t. Instead, talk to them. Listen to them and try to have compassion. Engage them in a dialogue. People don’t know what they don’t know! Give them facts and help them understand things from your point of view. My greatest hope is that these people are not hateful: just misinformed.

Next? STOP WAITING for people to tell you what to do. It is no one’s responsibility but our own. TAKE INITIATIVE! When you see something happening that you know is wrong, SPEAK UP! Stop waiting to be organised by other people. Take an active role in making this country a better place. Do what you gotta do. It’s hard work being a leader, but someone has to do it!

Then… Donate to Planned Parenthood. (That was the first thing I did yesterday morning.) Donate to these organisations too, or volunteer if you can’t afford to donate. Get Bullish has a great list of organisations to support, too. Shop at your local immigrant-owned businesses. Text your POC, female, queer, immigrant, Muslim friends and let them know you have their back ALWAYS. Set your New Balance sneakers on fire (sounds like fun). And uh, stop buying People magazine, though honestly, tabloids have been gross long before this.

Stay informed. My friend Colin wrote about 10 things he’s doing to cope, and Sarah’s piece on what we can do now is a must-read. Read Aaron Sorkin’s letter to his daugher. Read Michael Moore’s morning after to-do list. Read the Oh Shit! What Do I Do Before January? list.

And stop hiding your beliefs under a bushel because you don’t want to make other people uncomfortable. The days of it being “impolite” to talk about politics are LONG OVER. In fact, when we decline to talk about difficult issues, we can guarantee that nothing will ever get solved. BE REAL about who you are and what you believe. Have the fucking courage to stand up for what you think is right. If you won’t do it, you can’t expect anyone else to.

It is no longer enough to be sad and feel helpless. We are never helpless. We are massively powerful, especially when we work together. It is time for us to really take a stand, and put ourselves on the line. It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

One thing’s for sure: if you try to grab this pussy, it’ll bite your fucking hand off.

Meow.

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Carousel: The Real Jessica Rabbit, David Copperfield’s Magical Homes, And Looking For Love As A Full-Time Job

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Happy November! Oh man. Four days until the election and I just want the madness to be over. The clickbait is so extreme that I don’t even want to look at social media. Never forget that where people are pushing fear on you, someone is making money!

So, this I pledge to you: no election-related links. You can get your fill of that elsewhere, if you really want it. But these articles and videos are about anything but the American government. And thank goodness for that. I hope you enjoy this brief respite!

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but being a feminist and loving makeup aren’t mutually exclusive. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says so.

Conor McGregor Explains How To Visualize, Manifest and Realize Your Dreams.

The Goosebumps conundrum: what makes a children’s book good? Geeeeeeeez I loved R.L. Stine as a kid!

Tavi’s recent editor’s letter about identity and how it is always in flux is a goodie.

Maybe we feel extra accountable to our established identities because it’s all online, and there have been many times when I’ve wanted to just ERASE EVERYTHING BECAUSE I CANNOT CO-EXIST WITH WHO I HAVE BEEN BEFORE. Recently I was telling a friend that I felt like an impostor when people would say they connected with something I wrote ages ago but which I no longer agree with, because I’m not any of those people anymore. And he was like, “You’re right, you’re not. You’re better. But you had to be all of them first.”

Ever wondered how to talk to strangers? Here are some good ideas.

A question to ask yourself: what do you want to be known for?

Again, not a surprise. Massive Study Proves The Pill Is Linked To Depression, But Nobody F**king Cares. Sigh.

If you’re an atheist, why not have a wedding that reflects your beliefs? Steal these vows!

I am excited about this. Tollbooths are going to disappear in NYC and be replaced with art installations and multi-colour light shows!

David Copperfield’s Homes Have the Magic Touch. The magician brings his passion for story-telling to his multimillion-dollar properties, incorporating arcade games, a collection of artists’ mannequins and an under-construction ‘secret jungle village’. At all of his homes, Mr. Copperfield said he aims not just to decorate, but to create immersive experiences. YES.

We Use Words to Talk. Why Do We Need Them to Think? Yeah, that’s actually pretty weird.

International playgirls take note: Google Trips is a killer travel app for the modern tourist.

This article is old, but it’s about how Thierry Mugler disappeared from the spotlight and re-emerged as a completely new person. Fascinating!

This review of a Rick Owens store is one of the funniest things I’ve read. So, so silly.

He brushed mohair until it almost inflated! Stunning.

Fatal Attraction: Has Instagram Brought Us Too Close to Our Idols? Pop stars are now opting to disable comments and privatize their accounts — if we can’t control our fandom, should we lose our privileges?

Here’s what you should do if you have 36 hours in Mumbai Bombay.

A 100 year old to-do list model that actually helps you get things done.

I’m still really confused by the fact that Billy Corgan became the president of a wrestling organisation, but it just got even weirder: he just filed a lawsuit against his own company.

A Pharmacy Advertised A ‘Man Tax’ And Men’s Rights Activists Lost It. Aahahahah.

MysticxLipstick is one of my favourite astrologers. Here’s a great interview with her.

Oh, wow. At what moment did you realise you were dating an idiot? If you only read one article from this list, make it this one.

…I made the present from the cat. I thought I was being cute and she would make the connection. Instead, she got pissed that my cat got her a present and I didn’t.

Has Justin Bieber outgrown himself?

Entertaining people for a living can be exhausting. It is a perpetual test in how much you can give to others without losing yourself in the process. You really do get the feeling that Justin Bieber has lost enthusiasm for some of the more widely celebrated aspects of his career, like he wants to be someone else but doesn’t know who that person is yet.

I am definitely feeling the Lilith return, how about you?

More about our ovaries: The Racist and Sexist History of Keeping Birth Control Side Effects Secret.

So what’s the deal with “reverse racism”, really?

From the creepy file: UFO expert found dead after ‘vomiting black liquid’. WHAT?!

I love this! These Bachelor Contestants Fell in Love With Each Other Instead. Bless!

Hahaha. Saturday Night Live’s ‘A Girl’s Halloween’ is the realest thing that ever existed.

Marie Forleo’s interview with Seth Godin was even better than I thought it would be. LOVED IT!

White Feminists Gotta Go: Amy Schumer’s White Woman Foolishness. By attempting to replicate Beyoncé’s “Formation,” Schumer is firmly placing herself, as a white woman, at the center of a story where she has no place: black women’s self-love and sexual freedom.

My Sex Life Sucks: What I Learned from Attending a Sex Positivity Workshop.

The German Syrup That’s Like Time-Release Coffee. Hmmm… Interesting. Anyone tried it?

Scorpio SZN: How Astrology Tells Us Everything We Need to Know About Drake. This article is a bit basic, but when you discover that he is a Cancer Moon and a Leo Rising, it tells you the WHOLE STORY.

How I Fell In and Out of Love with Cultural Appropriation.

It turns out that looking for love can be a full-time job.

The Book Of Life’s self-knowledge questionnaire is rad.

House-witching politics, or, is smudging your house cultural appropriation? The comments are fascinating.

Who was the real Jessica Rabbit? So cool.

 

 

Love always,

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Join Us For The Bad Witch Workout 7 Day Challenge! (It’s Free!)

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BE A BADASS
LOVE YOUR BODY
AND LOVE HOW YOU LOOK.

There are definitely perks to dating a personal trainer — not the least of which being when he walks around with very little clothing on! Ooh la la. But I digress. We’ve been together for over a year now, and in that time, my body has completely transformed. My attitude to working out has changed too. I used to just do what someone told me, but he has taught me to pay attention to my body, and help me see that I can absolutely make my body look any way I want it to.

Coming to that realisation has been been massively liberating for me, as well as granting me an enormous confidence boost. Feeling really positive about how I look — and recognising that I truly have the power to be the best I can be — is an awe-inspiring experience, and one that I want ALL other women to experience.

That’s why I am so excited to share with you that Bad Witch Workout is now available to you, no matter where you are in the world! Together, Garnett and I have created a FREE 7 day challenge, including a killer workout that you can do at home with NO equipment.

We get started on Monday, and we’d love to have you join us!

This is for you if you feel like you don’t fit in at the gym. We want you to look after your body but never compromise on your own style or identity.

This is for you if you have a history of disordered eating. We want to help you reframe the way you look at exercise, and start to love your body from top to bottom.

This is for you if you want to FEEL like a badass, not just think about it! We are so ready for you! You supply the desire: we’ll do the rest!

 

WE’LL SEND YOU:

3 challenging body-weight workouts, with a focus on your arms, abs, and ass… And absolutely zero equipment needed! You can truly do this in your living room!

 A double-dare physical challenge

 Motivational love letters to keep you going

 Videos to help you marry your radical self love practice with your workouts, as well as stay inspired and excited

A connection to our excellent Bad Witch community

 …And a couple of very fun surprises!


ENTER YOUR EMAIL BELOW TO JOIN US!




 

Note: If this form gives you an error, please email Audrey and ask her to add you to the list manually! We’ve had HUNDREDS of sign-ups already and it’s throwing the system for a loop!

Don’t forget, it all kicks off on MONDAY! Sign up, follow us on Instagram, and LET’S GO!

Love and spooky spandex,

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When The Flame Of Your Passion Starts To Flicker

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No matter who you are and no matter what level you’re at, you will — at some point — inevitably feel stuck when it comes to your passion. You could be five years in or twenty years deep, but rest assured: this will happen to you!

However, expected or not, it still feels like shit. Questioning what you love and wondering whether you should bother is an epic bummer. It really can be a dark night of the soul moment. And while you might feel like you’re being endlessly thrown around on the cruel seas of your subconscious, no feeling lasts forever. You can get out of this position, but it will require some work.

Here’s what you should do.

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.” — Banksy

TAKE A BREAK. PLEASE!
We’re taught to push push push, no matter what. The fear is real: ‘If I stop now, will I be forgotten in a week?!’ We think that doing nothing would be worse than burning out, and that only goes to show how desperate our addiction to “doing” is. (If you’re not constantly doing, then there’s time for… Gasp… THOUGHTS! Emotions! Dealing with your actual life! How terrible!)

On her Magic Lessons podcast, Elizabeth Gilbert was speaking to an author who was having trouble writing her second book. She felt stuck and uninspired. Liz’s prescription? Don’t work on your book for a month. Do anything and everything else instead. Fill up your life with living. The author she gave this advice to said she initially thought, ‘Oh, good! I have permission to take a month off!’ But her next thought was, ‘I don’t know if I can stay away from it for 30 days… I have so much to say!’

This is exactly how a break should make you feel. If you end up charging back into your passion at the end of week two, that’s perfect. But if you need the full month, TAKE IT!

TALK TO FRIENDS WHO LOVE WHAT YOU LOVE
There are a few reasons why.

1. Most people outside your industry or interest will empathise with your plight but they won’t fully understand, simply because they haven’t really been there. It’s essential to talk to people who actually get it.

2. Commiserating can be a deeply healing experience. Sometimes, let’s face it, you just need to vent.

3. But the best reason to talk to your friends who are also artists, or teachers, or macrame enthusiasts, is that they will be able to brainstorm with you, and most crucially, they have the ability to connect you to people who can help.

As much as we all love to think that we can go it alone, that only works up to a certain point. Eventually, we have to reach out and expand. Our lives are only as rich as the relationships we have with other people. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friends or peers about what you’re facing, because, believe me, you are not alone.

WATCH DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT YOUR HEROES
I have yet to hear about a role model who was blessed with a flawless childhood, sailed from one grown-up success to another, and then died peacefully in her bed. Do you know why? Because that is not the stuff of heroes! Heroes struggle. They have their imperfections and inadequacies. The reason we love and revere our idols is because of their humanity.

If you’re feeling stuck or frustrated, one of the best things you can do is to get down in the trenches with your heroes. Watch a documentary about their life, and realise that a blemish-free history is not what makes life interesting. Everyone experiences trying times. The trying times are not what define you. The only thing that counts is how you bounce back.

If you don’t feel reinvigorated — and full of ideas — after watching a documentary about your #1 inspiration, I will eat my hat.

GOOGLE YOUR PROBLEM
This sounds so obvious, but it works! If you have writer’s block, google it. If you’ve lost your inspiration, google it. If you can’t find a good coach, google it!

As much as our problems cause us pain, grief, and anxiety, they are not unique or special. Thousands (if not millions) of people have had the exact same problem you’re going through right now, and the great thing about the internet is that everyone is sharing their stories and experiences.

You don’t need to constantly reinvent the wheel. As Tony Robbins is so fond of saying, “Success leaves clues.” Use other people’s ideas to get you out of your slump!

REMEMBER THAT ALL IS NOT LOST
Feeling stuck or unsure is not a sign of your lack of commitment, or weakness, or ineptitude. It is simply part of the evolution process.

Want to go really big? Doubt and distress are mandatory. In order to get to the next level of what you’re doing, you have to experience some pain and some discomfort. Those are the essential ingredients of transformation.

Don’t be afraid to look your pain in the eye and acknowledge its existence. The longer you dance around it, the bigger it will become. Invite your demons to brunch and have a nice, honest chat. Once you get a fix on the exact size and shape of your pain, you’ll have more information on how to maneuvre around it.

BUT, IF YOU FEEL STUCK ALL THE TIME…
Then maybe it’s time to call the whole thing off. If your passion has become more pain than pleasure, and if just thinking about it makes you want to go back to bed, it might be time to do something else.

It sucks to quit something that you’ve poured your essence into, but if it ceased to be fun a long time ago, then you have to listen to yourself and act accordingly.

Pushing through mindlessly is the not the road to success. It is the road to an ulcer.

The upside? Think of all the free time you’ll have to pursue something that truly gets you going. There’s nothing better than feeling excited about what you do, and you deserve to feel that way every single day.

Love,

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