Category Archives: miscellaneous

Live Without Fear And Fall In Radical Self-Love… My Interview In The Hay House World Summit!

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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how we learn. Some people take the slow and steady (and prideful) approach, determined to discover everything on their own. Others seek out the very best teachers and make massive strides — and huge improvements — in a short amount of time.

This was reinforced by a post I read about Tony Hawk a couple of days ago:

“When he started there was an entire generation of teachers who came before him who were able to teach him his first tricks. There’s an important reason that the world champion marathon runner in the 1890s would barely make the time to qualify for the Boston Marathon now. Because training technique gets better. So you can either spend years figuring out the better training techniques on your own. Or you can find the teachers who can show you in a few hours.” — James Altucher

We all have areas in our lives that we struggle with: physical fitness, emotional intelligence, relationships, connection, managing our money, loving ourselves… The list goes on and on. I am a huge believer in upgrading my skills by learning from experts. I am not interested in making incremental improvements. I want to soak it all up like a sponge and become exponentially better. That’s why I work with a personal trainer, it’s why I take classes and see coaches. I don’t want to muddle through things slowly. Life is short — why not get the most bang for your buck?

That’s why I’m so excited to tell you about The Hay House World Summit. It’s just about to get started, and I know you’re going to love it.

Now, let’s be real: the internet is full of summits, and I get asked to participate in a new one every single day. I always say no! This is the one exception. When it comes to creating a magical life, living in authenticity, and being joyful, Hay House authors have it locked down. There are a lot of so-called “experts” out there, but these people are the real deal and they know what they’re talking about. If you’re going to learn from someone, why not the best?

Hay House World Summit has 100 experts talking about all the good stuff: physical, mental and emotional health, spirituality, prosperity, relationships and self-empowerment. I’m absolutely delighted to be featured alongside Deepak Chopra, Julia Cameron, Louise Hay, Doreen Virtue, Dr Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle and Iyanla Vanzant — I mean, WOW! — and to be with my friends Gabby Bernstein, Kris Carr, Gail Larsen, Mike Dooley, and Lodro Rinzler. And that isn’t even a fraction of the awesome line-up.

My interview — Live Without Fear and Fall in Radical Self-Love — was conducted by the fabulous Jessica Ortner, and it goes live in the first week of the summit. We went really deep in talking about radical self love, tapping, giving advice to our younger selves, and creating magic every single day. It was such a fun interview, and I know you’ll get a lot out of it.

If you’re keen, the Hay House World Summit starts on May 7th. If you register before then, you’ll get four audio lessons to get you started, including a kickass talk by Marianne Williamson (who I saw speak live for the first time last week and she blew my mind). These first four lessons disappear on May 7th, and you won’t get them unless you register now, so just do it, won’t you?!

Oh, and did I mention the whole thing is FREE?! Hell to the yes!

Kisses,

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It’s Not What You Look At That Matters, It’s What You See…

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“The Goddess falls in love with Herself, drawing forth her own emanation, which takes on a life of its own. Love of self for self is the creative force of the universe. Desire is the primal energy, and that energy is erotic: the attraction of lover to beloved, of planet to star, the lust of electron for proton. Love is the glue that holds the world together.” -― Starhawk

Spring is coming and I can feel the crackle of magic in the air. After a chilly weekend, the highs for this week are all in the double digits (I still don’t use Fahrenheit — sorry, America) so I’m happy!

I am feeling so grateful in this moment. To have so much love in my life, from my man, my friends, and my family  That my book launch party in NYC was such a huge success (more on that below!)  To have a feeling of freedom and possibility  That Spring is just around the corner  That we fly to Europe this week for two weeks of adventure!  To be in love with someone who inspires me  That life is constantly changing, and not just increasing in speed, but in depth and flavour and texture too. It’s so good.

My book party was in New York City last week and it was truly incredible. I told the babes sitting there how thankful I was to have them in the room with me, because writing is such a solitary thing. Sometimes I feel like I’m just typing into a void, and to be surrounded by the faces of people who know me and in some cases have been following me for ten years (!) was overwhelmingly wonderful.

The party itself couldn’t have been more fun. The room was packed to the brim, and we sold every single copy of my book in the place (even the one being used for display!). I did a book signing which must have lasted for about an hour, and while people were waiting they had free haiku poems written for them by The Haiku Guys, and their tarot cards read by Veronica Varlow. It was such a beautiful evening and I am infinitely grateful for all of it. To everyone who came along, bought a book, hung out, took selfies… Dudes. I love you.

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Gabby Bernstein was so incredible on stage with me, and I am infinitely grateful to her for being part of my life and for supporting me so ferociously. I can’t think of anyone who I would rather have been up there with. Love you Gabs!

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Veronica Varlow, making magic as always.

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Stylish poets at work!

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This is the poem The Haiku Guys wrote for me. So beautiful.

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With Julie! She’s adorable. My dress is from ASOS, by the way! Sparklemotion. I felt like a cupcake covered in edible glitter.

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I pulled these cards as a daily reading on Saturday. Here’s what they mean (and how you can do it yourself!). The deck is by Oliver Hibert, and even though I have a few decks, these are definitely my cards of choice. The imagery totally resonates with me, and I absolutely love it.

It has been a really big couple of weeks in Virgo land. (Jupiter, baby!) On Saturday night my man Garnett — also a Virgo — won a belt in a championship fight. I am SO PROUD of him! I can’t even tell you how much he inspires me on a daily basis. I took my favourite Gemini, Colin, with me as my date, I wore the Silhouette Dress by Wheels & Dollbaby, and I ran into the cage when he won and kissed him, before his dad grabbed me and hugged me and lifted me off the ground.

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On Wednesday, G and I are flying to London where I’m speaking at Hay House Ignite, then spending a few days in Paris (!!!) before heading to Germany for my radical self love salon (which is sold out — sorry!). I can’t wait to see all new sights, sleep in hotel beds and have adventures. I’m in full-on Virgo outfit planning mode, which means I draw every item on a piece of paper to make sure everything goes together, then photographing everything laid out on my bed so I know what’s in my suitcase, and then using packing cubes to separate the items by genre. #geekingout They always say that the anticipation of a trip is half the fun, and I am the queen of that!

Man, this is fun. I’m excited to be working in a more freestyle format here. I really miss the days when blogging was fun and unscripted, when I’d post something little just because I felt like it. It’s a funny thing when you become aware of how many eyes are on you — it changes the feel of what you create, and the pressure to have everything feel “perfect” is huge. I don’t need my blog to feel that way anymore. Playing, experimenting and doing what feels good are definitely my new priorities when it comes to my online space.

And here are a few things I’m enjoying right now…
Michele Knight’s five card relationship tarot spread.
I want to take lots of photos in Europe so that I can make one of these photo books when we come back. They’re so gorgeous!
I can’t tell you how much I love A Taste Of Streep.
Killer Mike! I’m into what he has to say about Bernie Sanders, and I’ve been listening to a lot of Run The Jewels lately.

Okay, I’m off to put the finishing touches on my suitcase… Wish me luck!

I love you!

Event photos taken by my man — except for the photo of The Haiku Guys, taken by Marita Veronica, and the tarot cards and photo of Garnett and his dad and brother were taken by me.

P.S. I’ve just opened up my 8-part course, Tap That, for pre-order. Tapping is the technique I used to dismantle depression and my eating disorder, and it’s unbelievably effective. When you couple it with radical self love, you’ll be unstoppable! Click through for all the details.

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All Hail Queen Bey: Why Formation Is One Of The Most Important Music Videos Ever Made

My friend sent me a message yesterday that said “I love Beyoncé’s new music video but it makes me feel really white!” YES. That’s exactly how it should make you feel! Let’s be real for a second. Women like my friend and I have enough role models who look like us: our cup overrunneth with Taylor Swift and Katy Perry lookalikes. This video was made for women like my boyfriend’s daughter, a beautiful 14 year old girl with natural hair and gorgeous cheekbones, who lives in a culture that tells her white faces are more beautiful.

Have you seen the video? God, it’s good. Watch the whole thing.

 

Pop music is not just pop music when it’s done right. I scrolled through Beyoncé’s Instagram last night, and saw a plethora of comments which said things like, “I always felt self-conscious about my hair and my nose and you have made me feel so much better.” What is more important than helping women realise their inherent beauty?

The whole thing reminds me of when Nicki Minaj took Miley Cyrus to task by saying you couldn’t embrace some parts of black culture but not all of it. Beyoncé’s video is a beautiful celebration of all things black, from dancers with natural hair to champions of New Orleans’ bounce scene (Big Freedia), images of New Orleans post-Katrina, cops putting their hands up and Blue Ivy beaming at the camera with her afro in full effect. It’s so strong and powerful that it gives me chills from head to toe.

The lyrics fire back at criticism about Blue Ivy’s hair (there was a petition circulating online to get her hair brushed — yes, really), and rumours that Beyoncé was going to change her nose. In this video she is telling us she loves her family exactly as they are… And herself, too. Radical. Self. LOVE.

Beyonce just keeps on coming, first with appearing in front of a glimmering FEMINIST sign at the VMAs, and featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in her song ***Flawless. And now she’s written a song for black women to feel proud of themselves. That this is not the end of her personal mission: it is only the beginning.

This is such a beautiful demonstration of a woman with an incredible platform who is using it to its fullest advantage and potential. Beyonce is — rightfully — angry about the injustices she sees, and she wants to do something about it. Of course, in true Virgo style, she does it all with total grace. So many celebrities seem to only be concerned with pushing their new fragrance, but Beyonce is urging us to wake up and recognise what is going on in the world. Sure, she is a businesswoman, and making money is what businesses do. But that’s okay. You can make money and still be socially conscious! She is using her wealth and influence to do something massively important, to contribute something meaningful to the cultural dialogue, to shift the status quo.

There is more to Formation than a celebration of black culture. Formation is a radical self love anthem — emphasis on the word radical — written by one of the most influential women in the world, one who has also spoken up about her struggles with dieting, body image and perfectionism. She is loud and proud about her blackness, her appearance, her family history. She is dominant and unapologetic. She is fully owning this shit. And this is a beautiful dichotomy which reminds us that even though we may STILL have moments where we doubt ourselves and our looks, we can still SLAY. We can still rule the world! There are revolutions to be created and we don’t have to be perfect to make them happen, to encourage them, to see them carried out. That inner voice which tries to suppress our joy will always be there in some capacity, but we can choose to overrule it and go out there and do important things. That is the definition of empowerment and strength.

This video wasn’t made for women like me, even though I love it, can appreciate it and also see how groundbreaking it is. This video was made for the girls and women who are told that black isn’t beautiful, who feel like outsiders, who feel “less than” and “other”. Beyoncé is the baddest bitch on the planet, and hearing her sing about how she loves the parts of herself that are a reflection of her ethnicity and heritage is so massively empowering to women who are constantly told the opposite.

This video was not made for white women like me and that is exactly why it is essential that we watch it. Without seeing music videos and movies made by black artists, without hearing the words spoken by people of colour, and without reading books by people who are different to us, we will never learn about anything except our own — dominant, heteronormative, white — culture. Without being conscious and paying attention, we will never fully grasp the immense privilege afforded to us simply based on the merits of having white skin.

The truth is that we will never be able to truly see the world through the eyes of a person of colour, but the more we can engage, listen, and pay attention to the stuff that is “not for us”, the closer we will come to understanding. And that’s good for all of us. Understanding leads to compassion and strength and the chance for us all to work together to create a better and more unified world.

When she sings “Okay ladies, now let’s get in formation,” she is encouraging women to rise up, to work collectively, to affect change in their communities and around the world — and that’s not just limited to people of colour, that’s a call to arms for everyone. As a white woman, one of the most important things I can do is be an ally, to actively speak up when I hear ignorant shit, and — most importantly — be quiet and listen when someone else is speaking about their experience.

One song is not going to undo the damage done from hundreds of years of oppression, reverse institutionalized racism, or revoke the incessant messages that tell women of colour that they’re not good enough. But it’s a start. And it’s a beautiful one.

Love always,

P.S. Here are some other awesome perspectives on Formation by Luvvie, Dr. Zandria Robinson and Kate Forristall which you should definitely read.

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A Very Personal Update

Photo by Jon Shireman

I have some sad news to share with you today. It feels very weird to have to do this at all, but many of you have been following along for close to a decade, so it feels right to let you know what’s going on in my life.

After 4 years of marriage, my husband and I have decided to go our separate ways. While Mike (and Dolly) have moved out, we are still extremely close friends and will continue to work together on my site, as we have been doing the whole time we’ve been together. We’re both excited to move onwards and upwards, and I’m so thankful that we have been able to end things amicably and with a lot of love.

Mike was a wonderful husband to me: extremely kind, thoughtful, generous, and silly in the best way. There is no one to blame for the end of our relationship, it simply turned out that we wanted different things.

Even though our relationship didn’t work out the way we envisioned, we both hold one another in very high esteem. Mike has always been an incredibly private person, and I have done my best to keep him out of the spotlight throughout our relationship. I’d really appreciate if you could allow him the space and privacy he needs at this time.

The sanctity of our marriage is incredibly important to me, and the details of our relationship are private, so I won’t be sharing about our relationship in any greater depth. Needless to say, we are the best of friends, we talk all the time, and wish each other all the happiness in the world.

This is a difficult thing to go through — especially in public — so I’d really appreciate your support and understanding as this process unfolds.

Love always,

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Morocco, Crêpes, And Mini-Gratitude: An Obsessive Mish-Mash

Gala Darling in Marrakech by David McNeil

This post is very miscellaneous, because let’s be real, getting back into the swing of things after an incredible whirlwind trip can be tricky (to say the least). Thankfully, I seem to have my jet-lag licked, but when you’re used to writing every day — and you take a couple of weeks off — your brain feels thoroughly unprepared when it’s time to get back into it!

Here are five things that are occupying my mind right now…

MOROCCO
You may have already gotten this impression from my Instagram, but I fell 100% head over heels slippers in love with Marrakech! It is so sublimely beautiful, so alive, so colourful! We only had two days there which was like torture — there are endless things to do and see there — and I am already plotting my return. (First rule of travelling to Marrakech: take a second suitcase!)

I kept a pretty extensive travel diary, and we also filmed tons of footage which I am now in the process of assembling together, so stay tuned for that!

RADICAL SELF LOVE
I don’t think I can ever come close to expressing the infinite joy and overwhelming happiness I feel when I see you beautiful kids Instagramming photos of the book as it arrives, sharing photos of your #radicalselflovedates, and sending me adorable tweets. I love you guys! SO MUCH! Thank you for making this whole project a delight. It is way more amazing than I could have ever imagined.

By the way, if you’re in New York, I’m doing a free book reading and event at Word in Brooklyn on Thursday night! I’m going to wear a really crazy dress. It’ll be awesome. Come out, okay? It would be a pleasure to give you a hug and say thank you!

LE DISTRICT
A couple of days after I got back to New York, Shauna and I were introduced to Le District by our friend Bianca, and it’s my new favourite place. Le District is a French version of Eataly, situated in Tribeca. As well as being adorable, the food is next level. I devoured a mini sandwich with comté and fig jam (YUM) as well as a crêpe filled with honey, butter, and whipped cream. The crêpe essentially exploded and I got whipped cream everywhere — thankfully I was wearing a metallic blue leather skirt so it wiped off easily (thanks, Shauna!) — and had to crouch over a trashcan to finish it off. As we were leaving, a security guard looked at me and said, “Wow, you really made a mess there! Go and wash your hands!” Blush. I did as he said, and when we walked out, I said, “Thanks, dad!”

Long story short: if you’re in NYC, you need to go to Le District. It is awesome.

NEBRASKA, I’M ON MY WAY!
Don’t forget, I’m coming to Lincoln, Nebraska next week! Woohoo! It’ll be my first time in Nebraska and I’m excited to see what it has in store. I’m speaking at Rise Lincoln on July 9th, and holding a Radical Self Love Salon on the evening of July 11th. (I only have a few tickets left for that one!) All the details are here. I’m packing my travel cauldron: let’s do this!

MINI-GRATITUDE
There is always, always, always something to be grateful for, and gratitude works for everyone, no matter what is going on in your life. It makes everyone’s life better. You could be happy or nervous, relaxed or dealing with anxiety on a daily basis. It doesn’t really matter, because I promise you, beauty is everywhere. It surrounds you absolutely. Next time you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, take a breath and choose to focus on the good things in your life.

Here’s my little list for the day. I hope it inspires you to write your own!

Rainbow planner pages and a box of my favourite black ink pens  This coconut spray which smells wonderful and gives my hair lots of body!  Making birthday plans (DisneyWorld, anyone?)  Jonathan Adler bedding  Fake tan and hot pink nails (best combination)  Having conversations in coffee-shops  Fantastic lingerie on sale (L’Agent’s sale is no joke, check it out!)  Orange Is The New Black  Marriage equality for everyone! HELL to the yes!  Finding rogue sequins everywhere (a hazard of being me, I suppose)  Richard Brautigan’s poetry  Elderflower anything  Walking tremendous distances in beautiful weather  Sunday Riley skincare (it’s amazing)  Black pepper popcorn  This playlist  Watching 50 Shades Of Grey on the plane with Shauna and rolling our eyes for two hours straight, hahaha! 

Okay, that’s all from me — I’m about to have a work date with the one and only Veronica Varlow! (We’ll see how much actual work we manage to accomplish…)

I love you,

Photo by David McNeil.

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