How To Get Dressed For A Concert

[ 5 February 2008, 22:14 ]

[Guest post by Audrey]

On this side of the planet, we’re currently in the pinnacle of summer: great heat, long days and of course, that sense that you should never be sitting still. There’s a million things going on to take advantage of the extra sunlight and the fact you’re not freezing — and with it has come the usual slew of summer music festivals to go to. I just spent some time with the crew from Big Day Out and of course one of the main attractions of working there for the day is the parade of fashion which walks back and forth for the duration of the day.

There’s such a wide gap between types of guys in the crowds at these places. Concerts really are partly about the music and partly about the fashion these days. It becomes really evident though who the males are who’ve adapted to this side of things, who are the ones being sensible, and who are the jock guys who’re just there to get drunk, forget to apply sunscreen, get even drunker, and grab some young girl in the mosh pit.

It’s tricky to plan an outfit for a concert, and these all-day-and-all-night festivals are even worse. The weather could change, and they’re usually held in places nowhere near where you live. You need to be prepared but carefree. Sensible but crazy. Free as a bird, but ready for anything, just in case something happens. So here’s some tips from someone who’s been doing this since Adam was a lad, a true connoisseur of music festivals. (Yes, I mean me.)

Being prepared

Do you remember the Man Bag you and I packed last week? Well it’s time to break it out again, only this is going to be a slightly mutated version. The first thing you need to understand is that you cannot wear or take anything to a festival that you actually like and cherish. I’m not saying to turn up in your worst, smelliest, dirtiest, should-be-used-as-a-rag-to-wash-the-car teeshirt. But you shouldn’t be wearing your brand new, shiny white sneakers and your super expensive shoulder bag to a festival. There’s a 93.7% chance* your stuff’s going to get ruined. And you can’t argue with maths.

Percentage totally made up just to prove my point.

Get to your local Army Refuse store and grab one of those canvas shoulder bags. They’re only about ten dollars, so if you lose it or it gets covered in mud or scribbled on by some drunk girls armed with an array of pens, you won’t be broken hearted. In it goes sunscreen, your wallet (again, grab a simple cheap one if you don’t want your usual wallet potentially lost), ID, camera, roll-on deodorant, a scrunched up long sleeve top or scarf, disposable plastic poncho (Army Surplus or one of those bargain stores should stock them), sunglasses (not your favourite expensive ones!), and of course a map of the venue and performance times. All of this should easily fit inside, and you can sling it over your shoulder, leaving your arms free to wave your cigarette lighter in the air for all the power ballads of the day.

If anyone has other ideas of essential things to carry around at a festival — leave a comment and let us know!

Being comfortable

I know it’s tempting to have some fun and go crazy at these concerts and get some sort of costume or funny mask or a fifteen kilogram tin of body paint and matching coloured thong — but I guarantee, anyone who’s decided to be one of those ‘funny’ people is probably regretting it somewhere around noon, when the paint is mixing with his sweat and running down his legs. Or when the heat inside the big furry teddy bear suit is causing dehydration and hallucinations.

Besides, these are the guys that don’t ever score passes to the after-party. There’s dress codes at those things, you know.

Simple is always the safest bet for the day, and no matter what social clique you’re pledging allegiance to, I’m sure there’s a comfortable version of your group’s uniform to get you through the day.

Make sure you go for comfortable, sturdy sneakers. You’ll be on your feet the entire day, and if you play your cards right, you’ll be on your feet for most of the night too as the parties continue on. Bonus points for tying your shoe laces really, really tight, tucking your laces inside your shoes or just opting for slip ons. It’s not a good idea to wear flip-flops or sandals to a festival. Obviously, they’re leaving your feet prone to attack from other people’s feet and the sun, plus they’re easy to lose and that’ll leave you barefoot for the rest of the day. And besides — nobody can dance properly in flip-flops!

If it’s an outdoor festival, consider jeans instead of shorts, as nothing protects your skin from the sun better than fabric — and I know how easy it is to forget to re-apply your sunscreen. Consider a collared shirt for the same reason, as it’ll protect your neck from getting burnt.

If you do go for shorts and a tee, remember to put sunscreen on regularly. Wear something clever or in fashion if you must, but above all wear something that you’re comfortable in. Tight ringer tees are awful when you’re sweating on a dance-floor. Scoop necks leave you vulnerable for farmer-tan (trust me on that one). It’s all about planning ahead before the show, so you’re in a good position to go crazy and not care for the rest of the day.

Hats are important. Baseball or trucker caps are practical to make sure you can see the band when the sun’s setting but by mid-afternoon you’ll have blisters on your neck and ears from Mr Sun. Accessories for guys are so in at the moment, so shop around. Cowboy hats, fedoras, trilbies, sombreros — all of these were around at Big Day Out, with maximum style points for all guys wearing them.

Avoiding the cardinal sin

I’m actually interested on people’s opinion on this one, ‘cause in my opinion this is the one thing you can do to be guaranteed you look like a complete dork at a concert:

Never, ever, under any circumstances, wear a shirt of the band you’re there to see!

If you buy merch at a show and decide to chuck it on because you’re too lazy to carry it, alright you have an excuse and I’ll only tease you a little bit. But those people who wear band shirts to the band’s show just bug me. You’ve bought a ticket, you’re at the show, you’re screaming the lyrics to every song along with the vocalist. We all get it: you’re a fan. Wearing a Muse shirt to a Muse gig just shows a complete lack of imagination and tact in dressing yourself.

Old tour teeshirts won’t be scoring you points with anyone. People standing behind you aren’t impressed you’ve seen the band on their 1997 tour — if anything, they’ll just assume you’re one of those ‘I liked them before they were cool’ dudes.

Why not wear a shirt of another band you like? If anything maybe you’ll strike up a conversation with a cute girl who likes that band too, and already that’s two things you have in common.

Dressing your insides

External appearances aside, it’s time to check your attitude. Friends of mine are actually proud of the fact they start Big Day Out day with beer for breakfast, but seem to complain every year that they were so wasted by mid-afternoon that they can’t remember seeing the headline act they were so excited about.

This year, there were record numbers of fights, arrests and people ejected from the venue, my manager got called a c**t by a guy who was trying to sneak into the backstage area, and by the end of the day the laneway area behind the tent we were working in reeked of pee because dozens of guys thought it was better to just flop it out and take a leak behind some bins instead of taking the dozen or so steps to the men’s bathroom. These are the guys who make me embarrassed to be part of the male race. Even worse is the fact that these are the guys complaining that girls don’t want to be involved with them. C’mon guys, is it any wonder?!

Everyone deserves the right to a good time, no matter who they’re there to see or who they happen to be with. So just stop and think. And pace yourself, for crying out loud. I’m in no way saying you have to be a prude — gosh, I ended up more than just a little tipsy by the time I eventually stumbled home. But you shouldn’t be having fun at the expense of other’s comfort, or your own dignity.

Extra For Experts:
Dressing For Music Festivals is Gala’s take on the subject for women.
2threads has great galleries from festivals worth checking out.
Bang On customizable teeshirts! Doesn’t get any more perfect.
Your Scene Sucks is Rob Dobi’s tongue-in-cheek look at the kinds of kids you’ll probably encounter out at the shows.