iCiNG Days Of Christmas: Rhymesayers Entertainment!
[ 14 December 2008 ]
I don’t think I even need to tell you how much I love Rhymesayers Entertainment, really. They have brought me many hours of unequivocal glee, in many different ways. From awesome headphone fodder to fantastic live shows & hilarious AIM conversations, Rhymesayers delivers.
This all adds up to mean that I am over the moon to offer up an ultimate Rhymesayers pack to one lucky rap advocate!
What’s in it for you? You’ll receive a copy each of Atmosphere’s When Life Gives You Lemons, Blueprint’s 1988, Jake One’s White Van Music & P.O.S.’ Audition, all on CD. All of those albums are great, there are not enough exclamation points in the world to show you how much I have enjoyed them, I swear! You will ALSO receive an Atmosphere gold hoodie! I love mine, & I love Jake for sending it to me just before I went to Missouri — because I wore it for four days straight! It is officially approved by Gala for extremely cold Midwestern winters! Don’t mess! Oh, & even better, it will mean we are hoodie twins! You & me! Twins for life! Yup!
Okay, so I know you want this one. What do you have to do?
Write a rhyme!
Now, it doesn’t have to be a rap (though if it is, you totally get bonus points!). It could be anything, from a limerick to a Big Daddy Kane tribute to a Roald Dahl-esque romp! (The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers. She whips a pistol from her knickers.) It can be as long or short as you please, the only criteria is that it has to rhyme!
Do you really think you wanna get to know me better?
Don’t you see the drama? Don’t you feel the pressure?
Don’t get me wrong, it would be my pleasure
To sing a song that could remove your shoes & your sweater.
Bartender, let me get a shot of Beam
‘Cause this girl over here is tryin’ to get me out my jeans
& she doesn’t seem to believe I’m just another thief
Came to take a piece, & make you stutter when you breathe.
You might like to start here or here. Unless you want to try your hand at getting an ulcer, don’t write about your favourite colour, orange! & if you really want to write a rap, try doing it to an instrumental. (I find them incredibly daunting but maybe you will do better than me!)
As always, you have 48 hours, & the winner will be the person who can make me smile the widest…
P.S. Are you in the antipodes? You’re going to see Atmosphere & Brother Ali this summer… right?!
Love & love & love,
Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 9: Manifesting & magic-making!
Hello
There is nothing as a grand as to know
All the progess you have made in a year or so
So blame Rouseau
or perhaps Thoreau
and hope that one day you have your own television show
You know what’s funny? I’m pretty sure Atmosphere played in Columbia the night I saw you there!
Tell me tell me, Superman,
While the clock rotates on second hand,
if i break down my last demand,
can you save me superman?
Sittin’ at my desk, bravin’ the cold
Wishing they’d told me before I was old
That happiness aint something you can buy
Or something you can find in any old guy.
Now I’m older, I’m wiser and I speak the truth
And here’s something to tell all the youth:
Happiness is something you make yourself.
It’s not a toy you can pick from the shelf.
So whenever you’re lonely, or gloomy, or sad,
Just remember this rhyme and you can feel glad.
Cuz if you just think to yourself, “I’m happy”,
(Sorry about this, I don’t mean to get sappy)
You’ll soon find that it’s actually true—
Then you can go out there. And do what you do.
[I started out trying to write a rap, but it ended up sounding like Dr. Seuss instead! Maybe I’m a natural children’s book writer. xD]
I know I really should know better
times like these make me fake my progress
trying hard to sound clever
beat the game, nix the sweater
if i knew what could make you smile
you know i’d rhyme a dime a dollar
ain’t that hard to try it on
make me smile, you know you wanna!
Each day your effervescent presence stokes my mood
and it’s a pleasure peering at your dazzling pulchritude!
When I drop lines, the penguins shiver.
I’m potent like the rum intoxicatin’ your liver.
I’m not about ego. I’m all melted, son.
Don’t expect me to please your expectations.
Yo, the name’s Rapper. Veloci-rapper.
I am entertaining but not an entertainer.
Gala, you hit my achille’s heel- I love rhyming stuff!
Bit of background first: I love cheesy musicals. The cheesier, the better. I have an accent that’s hard to place, so people often ask where I’m from. This song evolved from that concept….I’m warning you though, it’s cheesy!
———-party———
EXT-NIGHT SCENE, PARTY GOING ON INSIDE.
Michelle: Why are we out here and everyone’s in there?
Theresa: Because we’re on the outside looking in. No one wants us.
Voice from within: Michelle! There you are! Come on in!
Michelle: Yay!
Theresa: Ohhhhhh………
(music begins)
Theresa:
If only I could be from somewhere
I would come leaping from ev’ry lair
the clothes from my limbs I would tear
If that’s how I could truly beeee
as everyone could clearly seeeee
……if only i could be…..from somewheeeeeeeeere……
Michelle: (harmonizing)
It’s true, you are a loner
Sad and outside, a moaner
Ring that bell, let people know, you’re there
So we know, to avoid, just where
We know you aaaaaaaaaaare……..
(TOGETHER)
If only I (you) could be from somewherrrrrrreeee….
Theresa:
The rooms I dwelt in would be lined in gold
And also my ice cream would always stay cold
I’d see clearly, my vision twenty-twenty
And my herbal tea would always be pepperminty
If only I were from somewheeeeeere.
Michelle:
There’s no doubt about it, but you can’t pout about it,
No longer must you wait until the hour grows late
If what I heard’s right, Your somewhereness comes tonight!
Finally you’re from somewhere! Don’t cry! It’s all right!
Theresa:
Oh, the time has finally come…..I can feel myself change
I no longer feel like filthy scum…..My locational range
Has drastically focused…I’m from somewheeere!
My hair! Is it mussed? I’m going inside! In theeeere!
(Voices from inside)
CROWD:
Oh, there you are,Theresa! We were looking ,everywhere, for you!
Listening to you is now, easy! You’re from around here, aren’t you?
(random person) We can all tell, simply from listening, to your perfectly unaccented voice!
Come inside! Please do! Three cheers! let’s all rejoice!
ALL:
Now (I’m/she’s/you’re) finally from somewhere!
(music ends)
Gala, you hit my achille’s heel- I love rhyming stuff!
Bit of background first: I love cheesy musicals. The cheesier, the better. I have an accent that’s hard to place, so people often ask where I’m from. This song evolved from that concept….I’m warning you though, it’s cheesy!
———-party———
EXT-NIGHT SCENE, PARTY GOING ON INSIDE.
Michelle: Why are we out here and everyone’s in there?
Theresa: Because we’re on the outside looking in. No one wants us.
Voice from within: Michelle! There you are! Come on in!
Michelle: Yay!
Theresa: Ohhhhhh………
(music begins)
Theresa:
If only I could be from somewhere
I would come leaping from ev’ry lair
the clothes from my limbs I would tear
If that’s how I could truly beeee
as everyone could clearly seeeee
……if only i could be…..from somewheeeeeeeeere……
Michelle: (harmonizing)
It’s true, you are a loner
Sad and outside, a moaner
Ring that bell, let people know, you’re there
So we know, to avoid, just where
We know you aaaaaaaaaaare……..
(TOGETHER)
If only I (you) could be from somewherrrrrrreeee….
Theresa:
The rooms I dwelt in would be lined in gold
And also my ice cream would always stay cold
I’d see clearly, my vision twenty-twenty
And my herbal tea would always be pepperminty
If only I were from somewheeeeeere.
Michelle:
There’s no doubt about it, but you can’t pout about it,
No longer must you wait until the hour grows late
If what I heard’s right, Your somewhereness comes tonight!
Finally you’re from somewhere! Don’t cry! It’s all right!
Theresa:
Oh, the time has finally come…..I can feel myself change
I no longer feel like filthy scum…..My locational range
Has drastically focused…I’m from somewheeere!
My hair! Is it mussed? I’m going inside! In theeeere!
(Voices from inside)
CROWD:
Oh, there you are,Theresa! We were looking ,everywhere, for you!
Listening to you is now, easy! You’re from around here, aren’t you?
(random person) We can all tell, simply from listening, to your perfectly unaccented voice!
Come inside! Please do! Three cheers! let’s all rejoice!
ALL:
Now (I’m/she’s/you’re) finally from somewhere!
(music ends) Lord, it’s rather long. Sorry about that, I got carried away!
i’ve got bruises down my spine
and you’ve got scratches
i made you mine the very first time
with a bottle of gin and forty lashes
we don’t speak when we pass on the street
you play the stranger whenever we meet
you say you work downtown all week
and you’ve got money
i strangle you with silk cravats
you tie me up and call me honey
we don’t speak when we pass on the street
you play the stranger whenever we meet
you’d like me dead it’s understood
but you’re in danger
of losing more than a little blood
to your cutthroat angel total stranger
Deck the halls with fairy lights
Throw a costume party every night
Lay out on your roof or fly a kite
Do it now, the time’s always right
All year round is the season
To live life fab, you need no reason
Doing anything else is akin to treason
Toward yourself.
You don’t need wealth to be happy
Or possessions to have fun
When your hearts’ in order
You’ve truly won.
[/cheesy rhyme!]
There is something here between us,
Something I’ve never known.
What our friends all saw was coming,
But our friendship’s never shown.
I wrote this to my best friend, Alex, about two years ago at 4 a.m.
=D
Alex is my Home dog
I haven’t seen her in so long
I love her like I love a frog
I want to sing her a song
We could sit upon a log
She likes to suck on dong
They pay her for that in Hong Kong
We could drink us some ‘nog
After that bang a gong
Hey lets play some pog!!!
Or we could smoke a bong
Live our life in a fog
Maybe play a little ping pong
Eat us a real fat hog
That would be very wrong
I’m going for a jog
It has a very awkward rhyme scheme.
Life was hard this passing year,
Scary life experiences
Never ceased to appear.
I took toward the new year,
With cautious delight.
Wondering what it holds for me,
What will be the highlights?
With cautious excitment,
NYC will hold NYE night.
Will the new year trump the old?
Will I have a good time that night?
So, now I sit and I wonder,
How life will be next year.
Full of fun and excitment,
Or just another dull year?
I been waiting all month for a contest like this
Excited like an infants diaper covered in piss
I gotsta nab these CDs and that fly ass jumper
Cuz’ every fools feelin that this rhyme is a thumper
No other bitch on the web puts it down like Gala
Hotter than the anal sting of asian masala
Try to step to my style and get cut up like paper
Diced up and sliced up and served up with capers
This shit is the real and Im in it to win it
Like a dick without a rubber straight up itching to skin it
I gotta come out on top cuz im ready to bust
Leaving every other poet in the waters to rust
So holla at me Gala let me get at this girl
Cuz I want this shit badder than the rest of the world
And I aint gonna quit or back down I got no fear
And nothing says ‘Merry Xmas’ like a record from Atmosphere…
(in Portland) it comes rarely
but when it snows it snows,
the burnside bridge grows frosty—
there’s freezing rain ‘ever you go.
The windows fog up blindingly;
the ground grows hard and slick
you’ll sit and drink a cup of tea,
so a cold does not get you sick.
The metro area grows silent;
like a calm after some violence,
and all the portlanders know
how rare it is for snow,
so we take it on with stride;
take the day off and take a ride
(on a sled, or on your backside)
over the NW hills, till you can’t stay outside
...any more ‘cus of the cold
(and the frostbite—uncontrolled!
-Portland, OR
of rainy days and rainbows
the day it starts and so it goes
twirling round and round with stopping
shiny twinkles, ears popping
this is what it’s like to love
shoot so high to the stars above
you make me smile, wide and bright
today, tomorrow in this eerie light
i don’t need you and you don’t need me
it’s easier to love when your arms are free
this is the sappiest poem in existence
i wish that were true but alas it isn’t
—
It’s a bit skizzy on the last line, and full of cliches, but I’m not a poet so it’s an awesome poem.
You smile with glee.
Are you smiling at me?
If not, soon you will see.
Exactly how worth smiling at I can be.
Dancing around in the snow.
Our friendship would grow.
And you and I would both know.
That it comes from our inner glow.
I’m a pretty terrible poet of any kind. But I tried my best. :)
I shall lay my case at Cullsberry Lake
And my virginity with grace you shall take
This other me you know is there you make
I’m shining and crying in your wake.
Nobody expects it when that day comes
When you and I have stopped beating our drums
We think on our deed, twiddling our thumbs,
The pluses and minuses all add up in sums.
And then we shine again, and you’re there
I stall and I stammer, stagger, stare
But your beautiful arms caress me with care
In this small world we own, this place that we share.
This is the part where I rest my case
My love and I, to Eden we race.
((I don’t think it’s finished, but everything else I’ve got is quite depressing. xD))
I want a purple poof dress
that flares out to the sea
with silly, frilly lacey bows
I could tie while drinking tea
and a matching tower topple hat
of the finest crocodile skin
it must be red, and fake not dead
to make the baby croccy’s grin
and then i’d like here by my side
a baby croccy….....a loyal pal
i’d shine his glistening croccy hide
he’d shine my dear heart just as well
I know, I know it’s quite a list!
but wouldn’t it be swell?
—————-end——————
sorry i’m a cornball. And when I say “shine his hide”, I mean it in the “shine his shoes” kinda way, not the smack his bottom way. lol
three little fish went to the market one day,
but how they went: i could not say.
the youngest was blue, a fine colour at that,
while the eldest was striped like a big tabby cat.
the middle fish — alas! that one shade of lime
resembled less of the fruit than it did merely slime.
although, regardless of their visual differences,
the brothers still treated each other like princes.
excepting, of course, when push came to shove,
and the youngest found himself donning a glove.
for it would not do to have fishy fingerprints seen –
especially if they were found at a fishy murdering scene.
yes, it’s true! with extreme style, grace, and class,
the youngest little fish delivered a can of whoop-ass
to his two elder siblings and their total disgrace
to the proper colourings of the fishy race.
because, you see, when fishy pride is at stake,
a determined young fish would do whatever it’d take,
even if it means killing family that’s rebelled,
because the old fishy pride must be always upheld.
————-
don’t even ask :D
Yeah all day I been shovellin chicken
doesnt help I’m vegetarian wiccan
so I end the work, walk past that soda jerk
the one who’s always staring at my ass – erghk
I get home, on the computer
I wanna play that flash game, what was it? pea shooter.
Then, oh fuck, gotta get to galadarling!
But what the hell’s gonna rhyme with darling?
Goin over to read what that starlings got to say
Coz I’m groovy like that, excercising my eyes like that, making sure they dont go splat!
reading this rhyme, makes sense to me
don’t know if anyone else could agree
It could just sound like its been sung by a banshee
but hey now the time is 5:23
I’ll go get some ice tea, curl up with the tv
and if that hoodie is awarded to me
I’M GOING TO BE DAMN HAPPY!!!!
seaweed wrapper and rice that sticks,then you eat it up with chop sticks…
soy sauce is indispensible, wasabi is apprehensible!
make sure you don’t drop it, into your mouth you must pop it:
one bite only for each piece. sushi is nice and sushi is neat!
sushi rolllll
yellowtail is yellow. smoked salmon is smoked. if you order a tempura roll you really are a joke!
maki is a roll of sushi, nigiri is fish on top of rice—anyway you put it in your belly it feels niiiiiiiicee.
miso soup is tasty. it is full of the tofu. if you do not like your bowl, i will eat it for youuuu.
tuna is my favorite one. i like it to be spicy. order more then three pieces and your bill will be quite pricey!
egg rolls don’t have egg in them, but they are rolled real tight. why am i still singing this song, i will not get any sushi tonight…
(i wrote this for my sister, over AIM, to tell her more about my favorite food. i was feeling kind of goofy, obviously!)
Long nights, long days
I’ve been living in this haze
Monkey always on my back
My life is thrown out of whack
And all I can think is “Damn!
Can’t wait ‘till my last exam!”
I, LOAF, the lunch food king, can never grow tired of keeping people thin.
oh somewhere deep inside of my crust, it calls out to other foods in disgust.
there’s something out there that needs me so, a longing to make me starting with dough.
I’m the master of sandwiches, and forget the pitas, bitches.
I’ll make sure that your hunger’s fulfilled.
to a dude in alebquergue, he pairs me with turkey,
and he stores me in the fridge so i’m chilled.
and since I am bread I’ll make sure you’re well fed and ward off mold and other infestations.
not any grain nor bran, can please like I can,
and cater to kids after de-crustation.
just in case bread ain’t yo thang:
I want to kiss you, but I am afraid.
Am I worthy enough? Or too different, too frayed?
You tease and mock in that way that you do,
and I giggle but wonder if you’re speaking true.
I hate this feeling; just like a little girl.
I want to go have ice cream with you; double-chocolate swirl.
I want to give you things, signs of my affection,
regardless if we’re moving in any direction.
I don’t want you have sex with you, just a one-time thing.
I want to be with you; smile, laugh, and sing.
I can be your buddy, to just joke around with and be gross,
but I want to love you, and show you why you’re the one I chose.
I could be paranoid, and this could be real
but you’re shy and I’m shy, how will we know how we feel?
we’ll keep on this charade, until you find someone new,
and I’ll cry and feel rage, like my heart just blew.
then I’ll get over it, and repeat this all over again.
but I want you to break the cycle, and be more than my friend.
Someone needs to shoot me now
Before they end up having a cow
Someone needs to send me email
or I will have to live as a snail
Everything makes no sense
but who needs sense when you have insense?
OMG OMG OMG. i LOVE that atmosphere song!! whats the title?? i had it on my computer for ages and tried to learn all the rhymes but never knew what it was called… what an awesome prize.. im going to be furiously scribbling all night now! prays to god of rhyming inspiration
I’ll be back :) xxoo
YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! These made me laugh so hard!
Andrea — Almost, but not quite. They played a few days later… Otherwise I would have been there!
cookie — Those lyrics are from ‘Reflections’, off Seven’s Travels :>
I’m flying a big red balloon
Grinning like a loon.
Lying in the grass
With a green wet arse
From sitting in the dampness
Like a little miss
Waiting for her lover’s kiss.
I read this poem called Rohypnol Taco,
It is by a cool gal called Gali Lenko,
She has a funky store in Melbourne Centro,
Am I going there and I say “fo sho!”,
I met her Sunday at a vintage fashion show,
I said “Hey, I really like your poem, Rohypnol Taco”.
It was all after the flood
leaving land awash with mud
that i felt like such a dud
i could climb over all the crud
complaining like some old fud
but it covered my hands like blood
i really wish i was a giant sud
Brothers need
But I gotta read
befo’ I…
go let him spread his seed
Can’t you see?
I’m a scholar,
growing every day a whole foot taller
cause my brain be growin’
is it showin’?
My mom’s be glowing.
Sloshing splashing citrus delight,
fruit juiced into a mug so slight
so slightly of a different hue,
than that of the fire I drew to cook the stew.
Pumpkin guts and yams and carrots;
basketballs and swimming housepets.
Leaning over the apricot counter
I tilt my head and tell her:
“The final ingredient is what tops the rest,
it’s a splash of Sunkist that tastes the best.
That’s one I learned from Nana –
but orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
YOU’RE a carnivore
always wanting more
addicted to flesh
served between two buns fresh
off the grill
how many more cows will you kill?
until you’re satisfied
when your chickens deep fried
ya arteries are clogged
and ya look like a hog
da food ain’t healthy, see?
it’s the reason for obesity!
people say i’m talking outta my ass
“the FDA wouldn’t let that pass”
who you kidding?
the government don’t give a fuck about yer health
to them it’s all a game of wealth
so do what ya please
just remember, ain’t no such thing as mad tofu disease
bottom line is, you are what you eat
there’s shit in the meat.
When you eat peanut butter,
It makes my heart flutter.
When we’re in the club you’re a real strutter..
Boy I love those words that you utter..
I’d be happy with you if we lived in a gutter
Your love turns me into a nutter
The river
I wonder if you care for my tale, maybe we just leave with wind in our sail
and we wouldn’t regret our being in jail,
but then you stop and say:
“hey, will your foolish pride make you jump out on bail?”
I couldn’t forget
I wonder if you care for my tale,
cause maybe we just leave with wind in our sail
and we wouldn’t regret our being in jail,
but then you stop and say:
hey, will your foolish pride make you jump out on bail?
I couldn’t forget the all that I am, and try to forgive my being so bad
after another travel ended with love in your bed.
Words stink in my mind which was all I had rest,
now that I cry cause I can’t be the best.
why won’t everyone leave me alone?
I just want to be on my own,
I have silenced my phone,
and had a moan,
How clear do I have to be,
for everyone to see,
that I am happy being with me,
do they really want to push me to go drown in the sea?
I need my space,
not everyone always in my face,
or on my case,
because that makes me want to pace!
i love darshana’s! story of my life, yo.
Just sittin over ‘ere
Watchin Mad Max with a beer
Good ol’ Mel Gibson in nothin but black leather
Toe Cutter & Mud Gutter run away in fear
Fallin off their trikes
They remind me of Uncle Ike
Mad Max is my hero forever
xxx
Today, come with me, I’m rejoicing
I’m finally done with voicing
my opinions
on infinite limits
on definite integrals
Is it differentiable?
When Gauss was only eight
he decided to “theorem-ate”
L’Hopital’s derivatives
really were useful, but
I’m taking a break from Pythagoras
I’m finally, finally DONE WITH CALCULUS!
Nerd rhyming…
I wrote this as an intro in a booklet for an electronica cd I made someone today:
Sit back, relax, and welcome to the Red Light District. This ticket is good for you & you alone. This is not a place for freeloaders to call home. It is home for the tracks to attack ear drums & sex drives, for long not-so-lonely nights, but we don’t give free passes here and only one other person is allowed to hear — this. Again, this ticket is not good for 2 or 3 or 4 or 5, only one goes in and makes it out alive, but I am hear to be your guide. Feel free to steal a sample, a song, a snippet, don’t be afraid to rip it & shape up. We’d love to see you get low and rough. So get ready, hands steady, you’re in for the long haul. If you’re smart, open mind, heavy heart, keep your eye on the ball.
Strawberry Lollipops (the real kind)
Are very extremely hard to find
But strawberry lollipops are my crack
And ones I have one there’s no turning back
~~~~~~~~~~~
I always plan my outfits three months ahead,
But this season I’ve watched Lost instead,
Spending all my time on the Island with Jack
Instead of worryin bout what’s on my back
So now a week before Christmas Day,
I’ve finished season four and now need to pay
Back for all the time I’ve pissed away
Wait a minute- 7 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS DAY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chocolate oranges and butter cookies,
Two of my holiday vices.
Chocolate oranges and butter cookies
will keep me off the nice list.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kingdoms, phylums, class, order, family, genus, species
Memorizin that will burst one of my arteries
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time we were best friends
The kind of a friendship you think never ends
But once upon a time didn’t last to long
Which is why i’m writing this cliched song.
I got thin and you got fat,
You got a dog and I got a cat,
You went private and I went public,
You fell in love and I said “fuck it.”
Hello father, I’m calling you out
Meet you at the schoolyard, see what I’m all about
No more name-calling, we’re too old for that shit
Time for fisticuffs, you gotta problem with it?
No more putting me down, making me cry
I’m taking off your weights, you’re watching me fly
Beyond your reach, beyond this heartbreak,
but somewhere inside there’s still this ache!
Oh father, why can’t you listen, why can’t you be my friend
There are so many fences that together we’ll mend
I’m your daughter, your first born, your flesh and blood,
Together if we cry, we’ll make a flash flood,
away flows the anger, away flows the pain
Maybe, together, we’ll finally be sane?
Father you know I love you with all I’ve got
But stop calling me names, hitting my soft spot.
I know better than to believe your put-downs and crap
Your negative energy acts as a trap;
I’m beyond that now, I’m kissing the sky,
your rules I’m breaking, your laws I defy.
Let’s move on, forget and forgive,
so we can finally move on and live.
I think I’m going to take off and run with your limerick idea!
I personally find mammoplasty
To be exceedingly nasty.
For one’s face never bests
Fake balloon-like breasts
And remains as obscure as the name of Miklos Haraszti.
Did I do well? =]
(This doesn’t seem to be posting, so sorry if it shows up multiple times…)
so few people entered i thought i might have a chance with my silly little white girl rap.
i live in chicago, the city of dreams
i go to sleep every night, while the starlight streams
through my window, i look out on people below
not knowing, not caring, wherever they go
for years and years this is where i’ve felt i belong
and now that i’m here, it’s not always easy to get along
with the street lights, cat fights, late nights, skin tight, midwestern lovers
for years i just wanted to get away,
and now that i’m gone it’s so easy to say
goodbye to things that were close before
and it’s so easy to walk out of the door
i gotta figure things out
my rhymes are wack, but they’re just like me
just imagine me rapping it and you will see
how much fun i had writing this for the prize
that warm gold hoodie is what i have my eyes on
===
it’s my first midwestern winter and i am sure in need of some kickin’ tunes!
At dance parties, pigs wear purple wigs!
Rhymesayers are the illest. Truth.
Sam, that totally did not rhyme :P
I think it’s all fine and good
If you like me, if you really would
Hang out with me and be my date
Out Friday night, way way past eight
AM ‘cuz where I live in Montana
Things get crazy, worse than banana
I got Joey, Elif, Fatima hanging around
All this pavement we are sure gonna pound
In fantastic heels, just like Gala D
Just like her, that’s who we wanna be.
.
.
..
...
ahem
little baby,
pretty lady,
gala darling with her pink hair got this shit crazy.
all these bitches up in here
they’re in it to win it
they got their dicks and their rubbers
just waitin to hit it
waiting for the sound
we got a rebound
rhymin and lyin and throwin it out
waiting to see what your smile will be about
words tumble with much effort onto a page
written with reverence to our blogging sage
closer and closer to being an idol
we promise we’re sane
this shit ain’t the bible
ya dig?
meanwhile i’ll wait
and hope this isnt too crude
merry christmas to you
and dont think me rude!
I’m seeing them at Falls Festival over new years…so excited!!!!
lying in bed, i said to you ‘but why?’
you couldent answer, i started to cry
what is this night-time echo, always there to haunt,
why does it leave me strangled, sobbing, gaunt?
i tossed and turned, short stutters were all i spoke,
but when no reply was returned, my heart was broke.
back to back, a painful sleep i slept,
so tired and with fogging mind, a tentive vigil i kept.
until the early hours brought a break,
when over my body, i felt your hand snake.
that touch on my shoulder, a cool presence to my heat,
i noticed my heart as it started to beat.
and so i was held in the morning hours,
head on your chest, drowned by your powers.
and i wondered why was it that this ghost haunted me,
was it something i should ignore, or something i should try to see?
Answers please!!!
music defines all that we humans know;
emotion through melody put on show.
you can feel the hurt, or feel the love
but either way feelings are expressions of
the heart, the mind, the soul, the body, the needs
for music is a way to feel complete
and music inspires us all within
as we dance the contagious rhythm wins
over our bodies as we can’t but help
to dance the night away, forms moving like kelp
effortlessly and beautifully in silouhettes in clubs
after all, dancing has been dutifully dubbed
as the horizontal expression of vertical intention
but music should be blamed for this sensation
since it is the one who starts this chain
this domino effect, until all pieces are have fallen in the lane.
i love music :) & dancing!
xoxo
Je t’aime aussi!
Je t’aime beaucoup!
Zis rhyme iz ov my luff for you!!
gala, darling… come visit the twin cities
we can go to a show with all the hooded kiddies
listen to slug, POS, and ali too…
and snap a few pictures of them, me, and you
drinkin beer, listenin to the sayers
i hope this rhyme answers your prayers
or was it a request? surely you jest…
i must admit, you’ve put me to the test
yes, its true, i live in minnesota
with lakes, hot dish, and pop – not soda
but really, most of all, what i wanna say…
if it weren’t for slug, i’d not be reading icing today
tada!
lol – so to explain that last line, a longgggg time ago, you posted an outfit that was inspired by “pour me another”... and thanks to the magic of either google or flickr, that is how i found you. and i’ve been hooked ever since.
also, if my current residency in the land of 10k lakes excludes me from this contest, i can understand that… i’ve listened to atmosphere for at least 10 years now, and unless i really knocked your socks off, i almost feel like someone else should get the prize to spread the love.
either way – you really should travel this direction sometime! i love my state! (but maybe wait until it’s not -30 windchill outdoors!)
I’m sorry you didn’t like it Gala…. I tried. I does rhyme in most places… My guess is that you probably aren’t pronouncing the weird math words correctly. Oh well, thanks for the challenge! I think I should work on my mad skillz.
Sam Bard — Oh my god! NO! Not you! Yours was awesome! I was talking to Abjekt, his real name is Sam! So so so so sorry!
Oh! Ha ha! I thought that comment was a little uncharacteristic of the lovely little you. It kinda did apply to mine though… these “challenges” have been really fun regardless! Thanks!
tuck it into bed,
let your heart rest
give it some hot cocoa
it has done it’s best
i hate when friends go through breakups :(
you walk past
I walk fast
what my eyes try to avoid
my heart will fill that void
I think of you as the nights gets cold
the years past and the memory of you gets old
am i to forever let my true self sleep
with crass words, indifference I mock you like a creep
my friends call me a fool
for using my tongue as a tool
to lay a layer of deceit
so deep that my heart no longer knows its true beat
a heart that beats
its own special, frenzied beat
whenever you draw near
Sand in my eyes,
Sand in my hair,
A lulling warmth hangs in the air.
I miss the summer!
I wish I was pretty, I wish I was thin
I wish I could get out of the mess that I’m in
I wish I was loved, I wish I was tall
I wish that I could have it all!
But if I could only have one wish granted
(By Jesus or Allah or even by Santa)
It would be to be happy, to be content
So my life could actually make some sense.
I can’t rhyme for shit
But I’m gonna give this a hit
Cos I really wanna win
and that’s not a sin
I’m watching oceans eleven
but that still doesn’t mean I’ll go to heaven
boy, this rhyme does suck
but with any luck
I just might win!
The Cheerios looked oranger
But surely ‘twas the porringer
Which had a citrus hue,
Which made them look like poo.
Or an internal rhyme!
I’m looking for some orange apples, please…
to impress some foreign J apanese.
I just can’t give it up! Every time I think I’m done I think of another silly way to rhyme with orange.
This time: deliberate mispronunciation!
For words I have to forringe
To find a rhyme with orange
That is, I must forage about
Like a pig’s big foraging snout.
Over a year ago I lost my job
Been spending some time reading your blog
It makes me smile every day
Even though I’m a guy – ha is that even okay?
Cupcakes, smiles, fun, and a happy life
Makes me not think of my strife
This is the first time I have made any sound
In your comments or anywhere around
So thank you Gala
You have been a pal .. uhh
Ha I know that was pretty sad
But I’m suburban white so of course I rap pretty bad
I’m not trying to win just wanted to try
To make you smile and not cry
Well I should get back to my quest
This job searching is such a pest
I am looking for work in New York City
So maybe we will meet I’ll try to be witty
Anyways I hope the weather is not crappy
And your holidays are very happy!
Here’s a rap about my favorite salty vegan snack.
Check it.
After yoga class, I went to ‘ho’ Foods for a snack
And I came out with a big old bag of vegan crack.
The other yogis get Lara Bars and kombucha tea
But not me
And not my d o double g.
We got tha T to tha I to tha N to tha G.
We got TINGS, y’all!
And despite my best intentions
I feel like I’ve got cotton in my small intestines.
Know what I’m sayin’?
I love your soul more than you know,
I was so sorry that I had to go
But I had to do something for myself
Before I let my dreams stay on the dusty shelf
You went to school while I stayed home alone
and dreamed of my future which laid unknown
I finally left and did it you see
So now I feel like I am finally me
But my life’s not complete without you by my side
Best friends for life, that’s how we ride
Those words are said by many a girl,
But I truly mean them, my best in the world.
Our trips to the mall and to new york city,
there’s no one else like you, you’re so witty!
If I could teleport you here I’d take you shopping,
so we could talk about old times and continue name dropping
The stalkers, the boys, the heartbreaks and lovers
But no one as important to us as eachother
I hope when we’re married we live in Manhattan
in two loft apartments because we made it happen
One next door to the other so we’d be close together
Because your my best friend, not just a friend in fair weather.
A reflection on my grumpy high school years
Life is too short to be sad and dejected,
Happiness too scarce to be cursed and rejected;
Days of our lives are the best days that we’ve got,
(But those spent complaining are certainly not).
Ignore all the kids who think depression is cool,
Spent all their time writing death notes in school,
Drawing hearts on the hands and arms of their friends,
Encircling names in thick red marker pen.
Care not for the ones who play acoustic guitar,
They sit alone in their room (they don’t get very far),
Dreaming of recording a heartbroken hit,
Free of all that “conformist bullshit”.
Their parents are thrust into seas of despair,
What has happened to those put into their care?
The girls are obsessed with PETA and Quorn;
The boys stay all day in their rooms watching porn.
They spike their hair up or they grease their hair down,
And wear too much eyeliner and a perpetual frown.
They experiment – disastrously – with all kinds of dyes,
The girls are much worse; this is only the guys.
They all go to parties where vodka’s hardcore,
They drink all they can and then have some more.
Each drink is an excuse to cry out the pain
But they think others pathetic for doing the same.
They write poems which to be honest truly are dire,
And put them on MySpace for all to admire.
Even though half of them do art and Eng Lit,
They can’t be A grade; their poems are shit.
They think that they are the only ones that get dumped,
The only ones used, their innocence pumped.
They have a permanent room at Heartbreak Hotel,
Unrequited love – they say – which nothing can quell.
But we were all like that once; are we being too cruel?
We all acted lame but thought we were cool.
But there’s really no excuse for being so gay,
(Although these days being bi’s all the rage).
I find now that I have strayed and digressed,
And I may have caused you to become sad and depressed,
When really my goal was to dispel any woe,
And make you feel all pink and alive and aglow.
So go forth, iCiNG readers, spread all that joy makes,
Super-love, happiness and pink frosted cupcakes!
A tribute to our camp yoga instructor:
LeVar, LeVar,
That loincloth’s stickin’ out far
Oh baby do that little dance
You really work those leather pants
Wanna run my hands through your hair
Or maybe down your you-know-where
Wear a dress,
You’re still fine
That little ass blows my mind
I watch that ass
On the grass
In your steamy yoga class
Oh baby please show me your moves
I love the way your pelvis grooves
Maybe I’ll show you my—what what!
Laying on the grassy knoll
I’ll be the troll
Under your bridge
Maybe we’ll have a couple kids
Be my lion, hear you roar
Press me up against the door
Maybe I’ll watch your ding-dong
I wanna see that man-thong
Run my fingers through your mane
You’re one lion I can’t tame
Be my cat on the prowl
Oh you make me wanna howl
Lick the paint off your chest
I know where you like it best
Work it day, work it night
No matter what, that booty’s tight
Oh baby be my sex machine
Thrusting out your limousine
Press me hard against the ground
Twisting your body all around
I guess nature ain’t bad at all
Now that I get to watch you crawl
I love watching you strut through camp
I feel that sexy energy vamp
Sexual tension rising high
You’re more than just some way-hot guy
You’re a sex god and nothing less
So hot it hurts, I muss confess
Out in the rain, dripping wet
Running down your silky chest
Inner beast setting free
Strange feelings taking over me
Rolling and wrestling in the dirt
You’re so sexy, oh man, it hurts!
Watch you jumpin’
And humpin’
Really getting my blood a-pumpin’
Modeling for a drawing class
Show me your pose and make it last!
I want to call you every day;
it’s so hard to stay quiet
cause breaking up with you’s like
cutting bread out of my diet.
Hey ya’ll… I think this is technically a sonnet…
I was reborn when I met you,
I was perfect, sweet and true.
An adventure into normal society,
you were charming, despite your piety.
With you, life was a different pace,
and my sickness disappeared without a trace.
But then the message “we need to talk”,
I brace myself every step I walk,
for the truth at the train station,
the chilling talk, the revelation,
“You’re no good – everyone was right”
words like needles, a piranha bite.
I sit in the sand by the old school swing,
crying and cursing this rebound fling.
Rick owens balmain please pass the cocaine we can dance all night with our shots in the rain and we do what we please with the eighths and the keys and the lines and the drink, life is good don’t you think?
sorry for the content gala!
xoxo