I don’t think I even need to tell you how much I love Rhymesayers Entertainment, really. They have brought me many hours of unequivocal glee, in many different ways. From awesome headphone fodder to fantastic live shows & hilarious AIM conversations, Rhymesayers delivers.

This all adds up to mean that I am over the moon to offer up an ultimate Rhymesayers pack to one lucky rap advocate!

What’s in it for you? You’ll receive a copy each of Atmosphere’s When Life Gives You Lemons, Blueprint’s 1988, Jake One’s White Van Music & P.O.S.’ Audition, all on CD. All of those albums are great, there are not enough exclamation points in the world to show you how much I have enjoyed them, I swear! You will ALSO receive an Atmosphere gold hoodie! I love mine, & I love Jake for sending it to me just before I went to Missouri — because I wore it for four days straight! It is officially approved by Gala for extremely cold Midwestern winters! Don’t mess! Oh, & even better, it will mean we are hoodie twins! You & me! Twins for life! Yup!

Okay, so I know you want this one. What do you have to do?

Write a rhyme!

Now, it doesn’t have to be a rap (though if it is, you totally get bonus points!). It could be anything, from a limerick to a Big Daddy Kane tribute to a Roald Dahl-esque romp! (The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers. She whips a pistol from her knickers.) It can be as long or short as you please, the only criteria is that it has to rhyme!

Do you really think you wanna get to know me better?
Don’t you see the drama? Don’t you feel the pressure?
Don’t get me wrong, it would be my pleasure
To sing a song that could remove your shoes & your sweater.
Bartender, let me get a shot of Beam
‘Cause this girl over here is tryin’ to get me out my jeans
& she doesn’t seem to believe I’m just another thief
Came to take a piece, & make you stutter when you breathe.

You might like to start here or here. Unless you want to try your hand at getting an ulcer, don’t write about your favourite colour, orange! & if you really want to write a rap, try doing it to an instrumental. (I find them incredibly daunting but maybe you will do better than me!)

As always, you have 48 hours, & the winner will be the person who can make me smile the widest…

P.S. Are you in the antipodes? You’re going to see Atmosphere & Brother Ali this summer… right?!