iCiNG Days Of Christmas: The Guide To Getting It On!
[ 11 December 2008 ]
I love Paul Joannides. First of all, he is the author of the best sex manual ever written (EVER), The Guide To Getting It On! Secondly, he is extremely generous & has offered to give away SIX copies of the BRAND NEW (brand new!) edition to lucky nonpareils — 3 will go to Americans, & 3 to residents of the world! Thirdly, he has a fabulous moustache. Fourth, he raises llamas! LLAMAS! Fifth, he writes emails like this.
“You and your site visitors really are some of the first on the planet to get the new edition, as the new doorhangers and bookmarks aren’t even in yet. (When you see the new door hangers, you’ll understand why we’ll probably be seeing them hanging from as many penises as door knobs.)”
What a dude. Much love & respec’!
I have written a bunch of times about how incredibly good this book is, so I don’t feel like I need to drive the point home to you. Suffice to say, if you find a book on sex which is better written, more entertaining & more informative, I will give you my first-born child. Deal?
Okay, so what do you need to do to get your hands on a copy of the newest edition of The Guide To Getting It On?
Tell us your favourite way of saying “having sex”!
This includes all those ridiculous phrases like bumping uglies, humping & good, old fashioned “doing it”!
By the way, if you’re jonesing for a Joannides fix, try these places: Goofy Foot Press, The Pleasure Report (podcast) & As You Like It!
Love & love & love,
Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 9: Manifesting & magic-making!
Getting Railed
It’s low-down and dirty, and it makes me giggle every time :P
My husband and I call it having Sessy Time! A little retarded we know but its great….oh and you have to say it with a Scottish accent!
Getting frisky, though that’s a bit of a catch-all. Making the connection amuses me. I think shagging is my favorite, though.
crushin’! XD “hey boy/girl, let’s crush it.” hehe
The most interesting euphemism my friends and I sometimes use in polite conversation is telling ghost stories — when you have a sleepover, you tell some ghost stories!
Fucking
I try to stick with the classics, i’m not really into weird words for sex.. kind of breaks the mood, yes? Perhaps i just don’t get it because i grew up in a very non-over protective (aka- sex positive.. or at least as sex positive as your parents can be, haha) family. ::shrugs::
Would love to have this book! :O)
LET’S MAKE BABIES!...and then psych the sperm out when the birth control starts to do it’s magic.
Well, nothing really beats the doing it for me! It’s a classic!
My mum always calls it hiding the sausage or rumpy pumpy, haha. Personally I tend to say shagging if I’m just talking about sex casually and fucking if I’m being sexy.
My boyfriend recently introduced me to ‘making the beast with two backs’ and I thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Sometimes I like to get old school (or lit geeky) and say “making the beast with two backs.“ Othello for the win!
Anything and everything innocent my friends say that I take as a sexual innuendo to embarrass them :D
But if I were to choose something specific, the best I’ve heard is hot beef injection.
Related:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT45Eh…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPVgR_…
“You’re scaring my cat!”
Making the two backed monster is probably one of my favorites, though my boyfriend is a farmer so having a flop in the hay is always appropriate.
My friend Kristel and I always call it cycling. No one ever knows what we’re talking about! :P
I like the way “boinking” sounds. But I would never use it for myself. It’s not exactly the sexiest sounding word!
SEXY TIME!!!
Bumping uglies is one of my favourites, it always makes me giggle. Or burying the bone, haha! An ex boyfriend of mine used to tell people we were off to ‘pray to God’ whenever we got the urge around company, which is probably slightly blasphemous but quite hilarious. I reckon shagging is the best of them all though, but people use it so often here (I’m in England) that you sometimes forget what a great word it is.
i’m pretty boring, i like fucking or screwing. but it has to be with emphasis on the ‘k’ sound in both cases!
Another vote for ‘doing it’. :)
The horizontal tango. :)
Fucking and bangin’!
Or I make a hand job gesture because I am really that crude.
Fucking!
or a classic:hot beef injection.
A bit of the old in & out
Horizontal Hussle
Boning
Pork
Schtupp
Having a ‘cuddle’.
A special cuddle. Also, fucking.
Xxx
Fucking
Love making
Or my boyfriend and I’s ever popular, sexin’
Woo! I gotta get me a copy of this book!
I’m kind of boring, so I don’t really use any of the fun, silly phrases. It’s just sex. It’s clear and to the point, especially when my girlfriend comes up to me and says, quite directly: “I want sex.”
There is no better term than the original one. :)
Of course, I’m also a crude ol’ bastard, so “fucking” gets used quite a bit, when it’s appropriate to the mood.
I like ‘knocking boots’ and ‘playing hide the pickle’.
I’d forgotten all about ‘making the beast with two backs’ untill I read the other comments! It’s ALWAYS a good choice.
I like to say it Borat’s way: LET’S MAKE SEXY TIME!
Makin’ whoopie!
its vintage :)
oh, you mean doing the nasty?
but when I’m serious, I usually prefer to use the phrase “to go to bed”. i like it because it isn’t too specific- I think most people feel pressured into going all the way, and I don’t want to imply with my words that it’s necessary. and I’m also the kind of girl who doesn’t like to kiss and tell, so the less descriptive the term, the better.
I once read leading the llama to the elevator shaft in a list of colorful euphemisms, and now nothing else can compare.
I’m a big fan of “doin’ it,” “banging,” and “getting balls deep.” Ahhhhh!
Boffing !
“Having a sleepover” or “Getting your clit wet”
I try to make my terms not explicitly heterosexual.
Creaming the donut!
My favorite is ‘making fuck’. It’s for when you’re at an intermediate stage between fucking and making love… my boyfriend is a sweetie and actually doesn’t like saying we’re fucking, but sometimes I think ‘making love’ sounds too sappy, or I’m in the mood for something not as sweet. So making fuck is a nice fusion.
My favorite thing to mean sex that doesn’t sound like it means sex is ‘let’s go get the ball rolling’. It only works with my current boyfriend because… he only has one testicle. Hilarity!
German: Liebe machen
English: to make love
Because this is the way it should be (at least to my mind)
The kiwi Flight of the Conchords improved things considerably for me when they came up with ‘Business Time’—- so I call it ‘
Business Time!...or we get jiggy wit’ it...cheesy, I know, but cheese is good sometimes!
I usually just run after Mr. Sammy yelling GIVE ME YOUR SEED.
Doing the old in-out-in-out.
And ‘making hoagies’
Knockin’ boot-ays!
also, as they say at The Sims: WOO HOO
i’m such a nerd!
“Getting Coffee”!
Every morning I wake up with one thing on my mind: going down to the coffee shop for caffeine. My boyfriend, Dalonte, often wakes up wanting something else to inspire him to rub the sleep out of his eyes.
This tug of war includes lots of dirty silly jokes about how I take my coffee: black, large, maybe a little sugar, and sometimes to go.
It’s hot, it’s energizing…perfect metaphor for good morning sex!When suggesting sex, I’ll simply say, “let’s play.”
When talking about it with friends, I like to call it having the sexy time. (Thank you Borat)
Also, I’d like to attest to the value of the Guide… I purchased it when I was in my early 20’s and wanted to know more than the basics. I studied and adopted certain techniques… and, well, it’s an effective manual. Most recent confirmation of this? I was told, “you should teach a class in that!” I’ll leave the “that” up to your imagination…
My boy and I like saying having room service!
Fucking. As a general, catch-all term, no question. That is my very favorite term — I think because I like the power of the hard “k” sound. This is also why the only words I can really tolerate for men’s and women’s respective fun bits are cock and cunt. A nice powerful hard “k” is pleasing to the tongue.
However, when it gets down to greater specifics — I have always been fond of the term “oral pleasure” — as in “Stop talking, get over here, and provide me with a bit of oral pleasure, why don’t you?” Also, “tongue-lashing” — the punniness appeals to me. And “attentions”, in a vague and non-specific way. Like, “How about I give you some…attentions.” The bizarre Victorian quality of these is so aurally-appealing to me for some reason.
electronic kisses
“Let’s go!”
Doing the Deed!
I like to… “colour”?
I know most of you will get the reference ;)
My favorite has always been the ‘horizontal hello’ or, when we’re worried about other people hearing, ‘gardening’ (living in a dorm means there’s ALWAYS that possibility…)
“porking”
When I was growing up, my girlfriend left a note on her bf’s vehicle saying “wanna pork?”. I thought it was the funniest thing ever!
I also know this guy who says, “I’d like to get up in your guts.” Gross, but hysterical, I think.
Getting pelvic!
“Fuzzy Llama” we would write on our door boards in college so our roommates would stay out! “The horizontal mambo” is also a classic :)
Jouer aux fesses!
(Don’t know how to translate it — but we say it quite a lot around here in Québec!)
Urgh, I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit it but the phrase making love makes my skin crawl for some reason…I don’t know why, even when Mr Charlie says it I don’t like it shudder
But this is meant to be about what I like, so:
the underpants charleston
bonking
knobbing
coupling (cringe-worthy!)
fucking
shagging (classics, those two)
peter up the pantry passage
hide the sausage
There you go :D
My English teacher in college had this discussion in class once. his favorite is Bumpin’ uglies and I’d have to say, that is a good one, and a literal one at that!
then there is Doin’ it it’s just simple and classic, and you can say it with a Brooklyn accent and it sounds sexy. (or kinda like Joey from Friends)
Knockin’ boots also is a fun one. it makes me think of clicking your heels… it just sounds fun! :)
and one my friend made up yesterday for a little afternoon delight…. Hot Sweaty Nooner it’s fun to say and sounds really good too.
haha love this one.
I second Business Time – it’s hilarious!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN0oDn…
But we like to say: “It’s okay! I’m a doctor”
splicd.com/uoYRqh5kncs/137/192
and then the fun begins. ; )
Luv
Poochie
Faire l’amour, french for making love.
Maybe I’m just old fashioned, or I curse like a sailor, but my favorite will always be ‘fuck’.
Admittedly, I hate most code words and phrases for sex because they just end up sounding stupid and cutesy. I’m glad to see some on here that are actually funny!
Someone already mentioned Business Time. YES. Haha.
I also enjoy a good Monty Python reference- “Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more!”
Overall, I find the official code for sex that has replaced the “Want to come up for coffee?” is “Want to come over and watch a movie?” It is a very rare occasion that I’ve actually watched a movie with a boy. ...or some specific girls. ;)
I figure I’d mention that my favorite indications of ‘having sex’ or code phrases for sex are in old movies. I just absolutely love the subtlety and steaminess of the situations, both sexy AND classy. Granted, some are just hilariously bad, but alot are pretty crafty and awesome. Double Indemnity takes the cakes with those.
I think I just went off track with answering, haha. I have an excuse, I’m sick and feverish, and as such, not watching any movies with any boys/girls… :(
Boning completely.
jk
Bizniss time is the ONE and ONLY way of getting it on…socks and all.
I like ‘twisting the sheets’ & ‘horizontal tango.’ :)
I know this is pretty simple, but I usually say something like, “Let’s play!”. I like it because it’s kind of a tease. Like you don’t know what exactly “playing” could entail. So, it really lets the mind wander. Hehe. Also, it takes something sort of “innocent” & puts a naughty twist to it. ;)
bangin’ each other out. ; )
hiding the salami!
“Playing checkers” has always been a favorite of mine…
Faire l’amour (making love) or faire des bébés (making babies) ! :P
Haha, oh dear.
I love “retrofit the pudding hatch with the boink swatter,” a la Bloodhound Gang, but I would never actually use it. =D
For more practical purposes, I love “slap & tickle,” or “railing.”
doink, boink and fuck.
they’re to the point. :)
let’s bone
It’s kind of silly…but I like the term “bang-a-langin’”!
I got it from a book, “Charmed Thirds” by Megan McCafferty.
I’ve always wanted to call it “doing the laundry” or “airing out the dirty laundry”. I don’t like doing clothes, but THAT would definitely have me doing laundry EVERY DAY. haha! :)
Doin’ it, bangin’, & knockin’ boots are good classics.
More recently my boyfriend & I somehow came up with a new one:
Shake & Bake!
I always say fuck but sometimes to be raunchy we’ll say beat them guts and then cringe.
let’s get freaky is always my go-to phrase.
arena time
donating orgasms
I like/say:
“Let’s play.”
“Jouer au fesses” – french is hot!
“Wanna pet the kitty?” or “Wanna take the kitty for a walk?” is my sly way of asking for it.
Of course most of the time it’s just, “I’m bored. Wanna fuck?” ;)
riding!
my bf usually tells me: “may i put it a bit?”..i find it too sweet… ;.)
For me, it will always be “doing it”, mainly because of it’s hilarious and immature, and this website: www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/11/6ha…
‘top trumpin’‘, ‘pure pumpin’(with a rough scottish accent obviously), ‘har mar fucking time’ (we listen to har mar superstar in this house – and seriously, I have gone up and said ‘it’s har mar fucking time!’), ‘full throttle thrusting’ and my man says ‘rumpy pumpy’. Shame it is absolutely cringe worthy and kills the mood! :D
Lately it’s been, ‘Lelo time!’ haha!
Getting presumptuous.
You know that clicking noise you make with your mouth when you do a big sleazy wink? That’d be mine! Although lately my boy and have been using the term “conjugal visit” :p
—xo.
when i was younger my friends and mine jokey phrases would be ‘hide the sausage’ or ‘jump his bones’ :D
all completely silly:
sexing
doing sex
bouncey bouncey
when i was younger i really used to like saying ‘doing rooties’
“Making love”...because while it supposed to sound sweet, it always ends up cheesy. I love John Mayer, but “My Body is a Wonderland” is atrocious.
If you want love…we’ll make it…
Sexy time and just the usual “hints”
doing naughties or bussiness time ;) haha!
Porking! & “I can’t wait to put it in”
I know! eee! totally embarrassing!
“Telling secrets.”
“Telling secrets.”
Does it make it weirder that we stole it from MST3K, of all places?
Roddy roddy – don’t ask!
i usually just say “sex” or “love making” (if the guy is really special or it’s a romantic time) “getting down and dirty” “Naughty time” “Hooking up” “sexual relations” all depends on who i am talking too or the type of sex that is involved.
Sex-o-clock or half-past-sex are fun to say, as are laying pipe, and tapping that. Plus, there’s always the ever-classic “fucking” or just “have(/ing) “sex”. My personal favorite right now, though? Either business time or ride that like I stole it.
A friend and I also recently discussed “tap it like they’re an oil deposit” or “tap it like they’re filled with oil,” but it’s more ridic and silly than anything else.
Nookie/making nookie! Or porking, haha. Shagging is classic of course too!
Charlie: “the underpants charleston”! Bernard Black ftw!
In my house, we say “You know what we should do some time? Have the sex.”
Otherwise it’s the “everything is innuendo” game:
“We really should vacuum the living room.” “I’d vacuum your living room!”
Oh, also, “my husband’s going to be rummaging around in my basement while I polish his oscar”.
GETTING YOUR END WET!
An ex of mine use to use this term alot, as vulgar as it is. It has slipped out fo my mouth on numerous occasion around different social circles and my company nearly falls over as it is something that one would not expect to come from my lips which makes me want to use it even more.
:)
x
1. Playing candyland (started as an inside-joke between a girlfriend and I)
2. Making sexy tiemz
3. “Will you butter my muffin ?”
4. Hittin’ that
“Playing Basketball”
This derives from the Junior HIgh, when a bunch of my friends and I stopped in unannounced at our Youth Pastors house, about 2 weeks after he got married. He came to the door, looking disheveled, and out of breath, and said, “Um, I was…playing basketball”. We then heard his wife call from the bedroom, ‘Who is it, honey?”
:)
Very strange I did not write “Telling Secrets”.
I wrote
“Porking” and “I can’t wait to put it in”
ultra cute/silly/embarrassing!
Making magic
via text message or IM or really anywhere “hubby” and I say “BE THERE!!!!!” like the old commercials for the monster truck shows cause it is just as exciting and thrilling you just have to go! We also say “gettin’ it in”
I enjoy Getting Buggered!!
Always said in a ridiculous Ye Olde English accent. Occasionally accompanied by a request for the chimbly sweep to “Clean out the flue, will yeh?”
“Oi, marm, I’ll have me brush up there in a twinklin’!!”
the standard ‘doing it’ is standard.
but also ‘making tea’ stemmed from something a while ago that i don’t really remember anymore, only that it implies sex somehow. silly friends.
Pineapple!
Why, because my best friend and I decided that would be a good euphemism back in high school and have used it ever since…
heheheh….sex…hehehehehe…naughty…hehehehe
Ok, done giggling
So my man and I usually refer to it more in a question form “wanna get naughty?” or “nookie”
I will say that The Bloodhound Gang takes the prize for the best terms/words and lyrics for sex —
Vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet
Cattle prod the oyster ditch with the lap rocket
Batter dip the cranny ax in the gut locker
Retrofit the pudding hatch ooh la la with the boink swatter
If I get ya in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically
I don’t wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo
Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo
Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston
Pressure wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle
Cannonball the fiddle cove ooh la la with the pork steeple
If I get ya in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically
I don’t wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo
Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Pronto
I like the squelchy! It sounds so wrong and has so many variations! But I have been known to use the phrase lets get moist which always makes me giggle!
My boyfriend likes to say he needs to give me ‘a good dicking’ more often. Afterwards, we generally call it ‘making a mess’ and then argue about whose fault it is. We also sometimes joke about ‘throwing a hot dog down a hallway’, only because it’s totally wrong considering our anatomies :D
my favourite has to be a little bit of who’s-yer-father, ha. i’ve never completely understood… but it makes me laugh nontheless.
in college ‘chocolate orange’ became our code word for sex, made tres amusant (read: hysterical) by well wishing admirers innocently giving us chocolate oranges.
i also like a simple, doing the deed, or less simple, bit of a downstairs mix-up.
but true to british form, my usual reference to sex is a throat clearing ‘uh-huhHHH!’ or occassionally a ‘...you know’ with hand gestures
“Gardening at night”, definitely!
Although I have to include a bonus euphemism for masturbating (a quote from Rizzo from Grease!): “flogging the log”.
My husband loves that I hate it when he calls it ‘humpy bumpy’. Which makes him say it all the more – until I remind him that that is the no-comeback passion killer.
I have taken to refer to the ‘hot lovin’ we had last night. (Tragic – but at least after 10 years we’re still having it regularly! And hotly ;>
haha! These are hilarious! Cheers, ladies!
We’ve gone with “love muffins” before, but usually I say something like “I’ve got to go to the post office” and then he says “I’ll go to YOUR post office!”
sweet, sweet lovin’!
i’m fond of a nicely shakespearean ‘making the beast with two backs.’ come to bed, sweeting!
my boyfriend has been known to tip me off the bed after i have said ‘HAMMER TIME!’ and leapt on him.
oooh, i though of another one, MAKING SWEET MUSIC ahaha!
Anna (AKA Saxy) — Where are you goin’? To flog your log? “Much better than hanging out with you dorks…” “Aww, Dannyyyyyyy!” ;D xx
There are two great things in life: the first is this book, of which I have wanted a copy forever, and the second is getting laid after he’s made you so hot you creamed your panties.
Fucking, banging, boning, and hitting it are the phrases I seem to use most. There’s also “lickin’ that stamp and mailin’ em,” but that’s more of an inside joke than anything.
I once read “mining down the wrong shaft” for gay sex and I couldn’t stop laughing.
i’m partial to rubbing elbows, doin’ it, banging, and of course, good old fucking. If I’m feeling silly, I like to say I shagged him rotten! hehe…
knocking boots!
it’s my favorite.
so perfect.
also, shagging.
we brake the closet (that actually happened)...or we just make a mess
hanky panky ALWAYS makes me laugh, and a dullness-induced one from physics..getting nodey
hehehehe these are the best!!!
my contributions are-
boning (if initiated by a boy)
vaging(if initiated by a girl)
romping
sex-a-lating
bow chicka wow wow
or if we are feeling real classy, we make a circle with one hand and pump a finger from other hand through.
BUSINESS TIME!
And “bonking” always makes me giggle.
Can i just say I REALLY REALLY want to win this!!
I’ve been to Borders, Angus & Robertson, and McGills in Melbourne, trawling the shelves for sex books looking for this! Ever since i saw Gala mention it.
Slightly embarrassing having people walk by and look at you standing under the sign announcing you are looking at books in the’sexuality’ section.
So i really need to be rewarded for my efforts, im dying for this book!
Oki so to the point, we call it:
“BOOTY-ING”
I also quite like:
“Getting down to business”
And what it means to me the most:
“amazing wonderful super dooper brilliant beautiful fantastic lovely gorgeous incredible time with the boy i love more than anything in this world’.
My new favorite: Burger Kinging my Dairy Queen.
fucking, the wild thing, riding the bologna pony.
I always thought “boinking” sounds pretty adorable!
Nothing beats “Doing it” in my book.
Sexing.
We got for the cute, childish terms :P
#include “condom.h”
//I’m a fan of:
Sex(person Me, person Him, Feeling Mood)
{
if (feeling == satisfied)
{
nap(Him, Me);
}
else
{
Motion(Him, Me);
Sex(Him, Me, Mood);
}
}
in the bed disco
Nothing beats a good old shag (ahem in more ways than one…)
and to use a Monica/Chandler reference: going to do laundry.
knocking boots is my classic. cracks me up everytime i hear it.
as does the bloodhound gang.
My boy and I are of the cute childish sort, so we say “playing pretend” (because when we’re actually going to have babies is when it’s not pretend…)
Ok, since I talk in spanish:
*Hacerlo
Cositas*
There are millions more, but I like those :P
ahahaha, I looove my lenguage.
I always laugh when I hear it called the horizontal monkey dance. Around here, mommy & daddy are having “quiet time” if one of the kids happens to come by and the door is locked, LOL!
The one eyed monster visits the optometrist.
I’m pretty fond of “playing Scrabble.” It’s sort of an inside joke — while studying Romeo & Juliet, one of my high school English teachers would insist that R & J spent their wedding night “playing Scrabble.”
boning down
boinking
haha gives me a good laugh everytime :D
We used to say Bams in high school. It seems so cute and innocent now hehe.
I think the weirdest and funniest, though, is Makin’ Whoopee.
The boyfriend and I say to each other “let’s bone!” when we want to do it.
Hmmm… “Stuff” is what we’re usually up to, and I prefer “The Usual” to most anything else…
lets ruin eachother :)
I love sex ephemisms! Me and my friends love to over-use them constantly. My favorite is ROCKING THE CASBAH!
Also love doin’ the nasty, getting it on like donkey-kong, going to town, the ol’ in and out.and WINK-WINK NUDGE-NUDGE! :D
If it’s sex involving me I like a nice simple “fuck”.
For other people, I prefer “boffing” because it sounds crude and ridiculous and makes me giggle. :D
and another goodie – the no pants dance
We used to say Bams in high school. It seems so innocent now.
But my favorite and funniest is “Makin’ Whoopee*. Ohhh yeah.
Following Alice into the spiraling Fourth Dimension.
hehehe.
actually, normally just call it ‘things’ so it can be discussed in polite company. :D
my friends and I used to refer to oral sex as columbines which is a caramel chewy lolly!
“updating my account”
in public, especially.
otherwise, it’s usually “bow chicka wow wow” or some sort of hand motion.
i really like “horizontal tango” though :D
Polishing the floorboards
I think I need to explain this one. My friend and her boyfriend were housesitting and did the deed one night sans french letter….and she dripped on the wooden floor, and then stood in it. Quite gross really, but from that point on, it is our little in-joke code for the deed.
The whole enchilada
“Going for a visit” Thats for text messages and in polite company… “Gonna come for a visit later?”
Or my faves. Bammin’ and Fucking – classics that cannot be outdone.
Shagging (always makes me giggly, so Bridget Jones/ Hugh Grant-esque)
Doing Laundry..haha too cute.
However Fucking remains my favourite, it’s classic, a little gritty, something I’d never want my mum to hear me say…perfect.
sleepova sleepova
Making babies, bumping uglies, givin’ her the jack nasty, penis in vagina sex.
Mostly I just like using odd words for genitalia. Like jack nasty, and netherbits.
Plain, old SEX.
updating my account
in public, especially.
otherwise, it’s usually bow chicka wow wow or some sort of hand motion.
i really like horizontal tango though :D
“Forking”— as in, spooning leads to forking…. I love a good pun ;)
But I mostly go with the classics— fucking, shagging, screwing.
Having tea! Now doesn’t that just sound lascivious?? ;)
Doin your business :P
But me & my roomie often just have a look when trying to explain ;)
bumping uglies is always fun, but there are tons of others… makin’ twat waffles; balling; riding a cock rocket, & shake n’ bake are fun.
And of course, there’s always the excuse my boyfriend claims he’ll use if he’s late to class because of me: “Sorry I’m late, Anne, I had to get my fuck on“
Cracks me up every time.
scooby snacks
‘busy’
most of that time that refers to masturbation though.
“were you busy last night?”
when speaking with others about their sex life.. ‘humpty hump’.
I usually just say sex,fucking,or making love.
I think new favorite happened to day: My friend was playing a game and ask me if I wanted t play with him. LOL it sounded more seductive then he wanted. It was pretty awesome.
i’m a big fan of the sexy time!
:D
putting the P in the V!
Fucking, hitting it, getting it on, doing it, and banging are the ones I use most.
Fucking!
I usually just say sex,fucking,or making love.
I think new favorite happened to day: My friend was playing a game and ask me if I wanted to play with him. LOL it sounded more seductive then he wanted. It was pretty awesome.
my ex was a muso, so sexy time was christened ‘jammin’‘. I also love ‘romping’, and, while in london i consistently refered to sexy time as ‘shagging’. i love the pommies :D
I recently discovered the term “Dipping my candy cane in hot chocolate”. Great metaphor, and has a flavorful aesthetic!
“Doing stuff”
Flesh Tetris!
My boyfirend and I started calling it “Fun Time”, so our friends wouldn’t know what we were talking about. For some reason it stuck.
Real ones that actually get used:
Let’s maka de sex.
Wanna fuck?
All manner of eyebrow wiggling and tongue clicking which to me is funny but to him is a little creepy.
Ones that never get used but are hilarious:
Let me get up in them guts (you have to watch Kevin Smith’s spoken word in London to really understand the full impact of this)
Let’s get nasty.
It’s fuck time!
Hahaha this is so hilarious.
i lived in newfoundland for a while and i’m guessing this is their lingo. they say “getting in dere” which i find absolutely hilarious. other than that i like saying “banging” or “shagging”(only with a thick bri’ish accent though)
My best friend’s parents used to put out a little rhino beanie baby somewhere in the house as a signal for when one of them wanted to have sex. Because the rhino is ‘horny.’ Now, that same best friend has become my boyfriend…so we call having sex, PLAY TIME WITH THE RHINO or BREAKFAST WITH THE RHINO (it changes depending on the time of day…but always has to do with RHINO). Its funny because his parents have no idea that we figured out what the rhino beanie baby stood for!!
My roommate and I have taken to saying “doin’ it” when referencing any sort of sexual contact. i.e. “Oh, you’re tired because you’ve been doin’ it all night.”
However, my boyfriend and I just stick to “getting naked”, “getting down” and “come on, let’s go.” :D
When I’m with my boyfriend, I usually say “Lets take a nap” which never leads to any napping…Or we just shag or fuck.
When my friends and I talk about sex, we call it “sexy time” or “boning,” or say “bow chica wah wah” followed by pelvic thrusts.
Shagging… or the ever popular rooting... is that NZ and Australia specific?? Hah, I love bogans: “Did you have a good root, munter?” Yeah. Some kiwis are full of class =D. Gettin’ laid also works…or ‘business time’ coined by the lovely Conchords (yay for kiwis!). Gettin’ jiggy with it also makes me giggle.
I always say “Rumpy Pumpy” cos my boyfriend hates it! Hehehee.
And just “Doin it” – like “so ya wanna do it??”
Yeah, knocking boots!
Or just “wanna fool around?”
I giggle every time someone refers to it as boning, and knocking boots. I like the more Shakespearean reference to the beast with two backs. But my favourite is going at it like rabbits.
My friends and I used to call it “making pizza” in high school.
But my current favorite is “bang.” It’s just so straight forward! And it makes me giggle.
I like ‘Ravish me’ which if we’re feeling silly sometimes morphs into ‘radish me’ and a round of saying random unsexy words in the sexiest way we can manage.
Otherwise it’s something along the lines of – lets go to bed – i’m not tired – who mentioned sleep?
I let my bf know that I want sex by going down on him. He never refuses. And how could he? I don’t even need to say anything.
He will simply say that he wants to “put his P in my V.”
“tuning” always makes me laugh…
there’s also good old “sexy-time”
x
doing the hibbity jibbity :)
Shagging…you can’t mess with the classics.
wow how can we choose there are so many!!
my faves are probably:
making the sexing
the old “in out” (stolen from clockwork orange, which created a whole new language itself!)
hiding the sausage
hmmm all mine are a bit crude, maybe i need to grow up hehe
sexytiems!!!!
I looove using the phrase “scratch the cat”
I think it’s quite dirty, but on the down-low.
I first heard it being used one on time by this boy I used to know, who is gay, and he was telling some of his friends about his past experiences with women and when they would ask about a certain girl he’d said, “Oh yeah, I scratched her cat!” Made me laugh so much, and I thought it was so clever I stole the phrase! =)
my boy and i are quite boring when it comes to this i think… its either sexy time, being naughty or good old fashioned “what do you want to do?” “have sex” “ok, me too.” “ok, lets go”.
Business time :) Also, I like ‘hide the salami’...
Fuckin’
Shaggin’
Wankin’
Sexy Time
My favourites come from family friends, who are total prudes and shelter their children. One of the kids banged on the door and asked what they were doing and got this response:
“Mommy and Daddy are having a pillow fight!”
Also, their older child also banged on the door, knowing full well what they were doing, and asked, “What are you doing? It sounds like you’re shovelling in there!”
So “pillow fighting” and “shovelling” became everyone’s new favourite terms for sex.
Well I’ve been watching a helluva lot of Battlestar Galactica lately so frakking is way up there.
There’s also classics like the old in-out or the horizontal foxtrot.
Tipping the velvet is a Victorian slang term for cunnilingus. Doing the kit kat is fairly specific, you only get four fingers in a kit kat ;)
Oh and who can resist some french slang for oral sex? “ca te dirait de descendre à la cave“ = “come on baby, go down to the cellar/liqueur cabinet” :P
Boning.
It feels delightfully childish… like something a 13 year old boy would say, and I am certainly not a 13 year old boy… so I find it amusing.
Also, I have to admit that my friend and I will text each other “Bone City,” if we have done the deed with a new fella.
fooling around! or getting all tangled up in the sheets ;)
Any australian will tell you… nothing beats a good ROOT
Due to a misunderstanding between my best friend and I, it became “nocturnal space missions”
Smacking that. All on the floor.
Or getting freaky. But only if you’ve got your favorite thong on.
Mostly because my friends and I will quote dirty rap songs at any opportunity.
Well, me and my friend-with-benefits call it “tea” cuz when we started doing it, originally I was just going over to have tea. But it works well.
“I had 4 cups of tea today!”
“I am SO thirsty!”
“Mmm, I like hot, dark tea.”
Yeah, it works. And it’s fun to talk about it in public without anyone knowing you mean sex.
Hah.
But the classic “fucking” is what I like best.
Haha. Me and my boyfriend have taken to calling it scuba diving.
rofl. I’m fond of
Knick-Knackin
Big Bang’n
Fuckin
Making Like
Tipping the Velvet
Playing wit It
Doing stuff
Screwin
Gettin it In
Hot Passionate Monkey Sex
& im the type of person who loves using the proper terms for things. [ie, i say vagina & penis a lot]
Intercourse!
unfing!!!!
it’s the best:D
i like to call it “duking”
as in:
let’s duke!
BONING! immature, crude, inappropriate. Looooove it.
‘Doing laundry’.
Not as boring as it sounds…
my bf and i call it booty :)
Oh &
hunching
fighting
Yep, my favorite is definitely “making the beast with two backs,” courtesy of Shakespeare’s Othello.
My other favorite is “storming the castle.”
It’s business, it’s business time!
I’m also a fan of checking your cookies as a euphemism for sex because of it’s uber-nerdy origins heehee.
Zhaaning Inspired by Zhaan, the hot blue alien on Farscape who made everything sound sexy!
Baiser-ing Baiser is French for “a kiss” or “to f**k” so add the “ing” for some good old Franglais!
Hi!
I’m argentinian, does it count if I say my favourite way of saying it in spanish?
Anyway, I hope it does, so here it goes: coger!
The word actually just means “take” or “grab” if you’re from Spain, wich makes us giggle like idiots when a spaniard says “i’m gonna fuck the bus”.
I’m a fan of just plain old “fucking.” ‘Cause that’s how I roll.
But, “Do you want to listen to some Tool?” is usually very effective.
A shag and/or a rut is also fun.
But only Bad Company can say “making love” and really get away with it.
This one comes from my wonderful orthodox jew journalism professor: Doing the horizontal bop! It’s so wholesome.
I agree with everyone who said “business time!” I also love…
“gettin’ it on,” just like the book! “climbing the ladder”... i have a loft bed, you see…
We say “do you wanna play monopoly?” or “wanna do the humpty dumpty?” hehehe
Aishite mo ii = May I make love to you? (in Japanese; so polite, ne?)
Or an ex-bf used to say: “Let’s biao chica biao biao, baby!” We’re not together anymore, needless to say.
fucking
screwing
canoodling
touching
boinking
Oh! Also! “sexy time” is a good one… we stole that off Borat!
I’m no longer cynical after 4 years with my other half so I am very fond of “love making”.
We call it PENISING and Mike asks me “can we make a penis time?“ Loved the ‘playing hide the Pickle’!
Mackin’ it.
Ahhh! I forgot rooting!!!! How can I call myself Australian!!!! My fave moment was when I went to Canada and saw the Roots sweatshirts with a beaver on it. Hilarity ensued.
After many Mario Party parties me and my friends took to saying “ground pound down” rather than sex.
Me and the boy call it “play time”.
Pink Floyd
Wink wink, Nudge Nudge
“Let’s go to bed” (as opposed to let’s go to sleep)
practice (makes perfect)
Hmm…. it depends on my mood –
feeling romantic “making love”
nasty “wanna fuck?”
goofy “gettin’ funky”...
“Bit of slap and tickle” is my fav
Also: “American People like one light stand?” (that is a total Elyse Sewell blog reference so I can’t take total credit! Hysterical: http://elysesewell.livejournal.com/33965.html)
As I live in Japan and travel a bit I do hear botched English a good deal. Please understand I am not advocating making fun of non-native English speakers, but dude, come at me like that guy from Elyse’s journal entry and I will laugh at you. Hard.
the beast with two backs
is poetic abstraction, i think. =)
having a time
sexing
yatteru (japanese for “doing it”)
Peneloping... the name of a wellington band… it’s a combination of ‘penetration’ and ‘enveloping’ .... makes me go ‘TEHEHEHEEHE’ in a high pitched voice every time.
I love it when my boy says “I wanna sex you up” haha I think its the most out-of-character, hilarious thing & it makes me wanna ‘MAKE LOVE’ every time!!!
But there are too many choices!
“Business Time” a la “Flight of the Conchords”
“Let’s Get it On” a la Marvin Gaye
or… Cuddling… according to a certain someone who understates things…
Knockin’ boots! Or doing it, or fucking, depends on who I’m talking to ;)
Making woopie
Oh, back in highschool my friends had a running joke of calling it ‘watching television’ because a sexually shy friend of mine always used to INSIST thats all her and her boyfriend did when her parents used to go away.
“sexy time”
my aunt tells me this all the time…
forging for cherries…=P
I prefer making whoopie when I’m in public. I’m in college so no one has any idea what I’m talking about except my boyfriends (and any professors in earshot I suppose).
I love CANOODLING :)
Im pretty straight-forward – ‘Lets fuck’ or ‘Sex me’ is the norm. Even in public.
Definitely “fucking.” Straight and to the point. “Sexy time” cracks me up though.
If my boy is keen it’ll be “Want some nookie?”
Otherwise it’s “sexin’” ;)
Boinking!
bonin’
whoopie time!!
Gotta go with Shakespeare: making the beast with two backs.
Depends on the mood:
If it’s bring out the handcuffs mood, then it’s “fucking”.
If it’s I love you mood, it’s canoodling.
My hubs and I are very gross-sweet. We call kissing “smoo” and sex “foo”, like in “wanna foo later?”.
I think it’s hilarious!
“Going to Africa.”
Long story. :D
mounting.
Example:
I totally want to mount that guy!
“Marinating the nether rod in the squish mitten”
No, I’ve only heard that in the song by the Bloodhound gang! it does make me laugh though.
I’m a fan of ‘tap’. as in, i’d so tap that. or i reallyh want to tap in!
Can’t go past the typical aussie bogan and their ‘Rooting’ ...... its so unclassy and whenever i say it people raise their eyebrows. brilliant!
Its always “getting closer” or the ol’ (but so amazing) “making love”
Well the one’s I most commonly use are nailin’, shagging, rooting, screwing, and fucking.
But the funniest one I can remember hearing was A poke in the whiskers. As in “Oh yeah, I gave her a good poke in the whiskers”.
Made me giggle for about 10 minutes straight.
Just plain gettin’ it on.
Comedy option: playing Scrabble.
Our clues (also useable if other people are around: wink-wink:
Let’s have a conference!
Dirrty stuff needs to be done!
Your serveces is needed!
“Hallo. Vould you like a roll in ze hay? It’s fun. Roll, roll, roll in the ze hay!”
;)
Riding the Baloney Pony
or Part like a Rockstar
“Let’s talk philosophy.”
I’m really shit at analogies (& making ze love, which is even more reason for me to win), but I used to have this crazy lesbian flatmate that would refer to sex as “Destroying”.
Can you honestly imagine someone saying that before you did the dirty?
ARE YOU READY TO BE DESTROYED?!
NO FUCK I JUST WANTED A PASH DON’T HURT ME etc etc
Also, I think I’m the only thing with a penis that commented on this one, you should just give me the book for the sake of statistics.
Fuck I just saw the “Telling Ghost Stories” one, I think she should win, I’m adding that to my lexicon of filth.
make the sexy.
or
“let’s get doooown…”
Bangin!!!!
The regulars… getting it on, doing it, fucking, etc…
Using weird words ruins the mood for me. But I did laugh at some of those mentioned in the other comments.. :)
Jumping on the good foot and doing the bad thing
It’s an oldie but a goody: my boyfriend says it occasionally and it makes me laugh. :D
What an awesome book – even if I don’t win, I’m going to go out and buy one anyway!
I’m a fan of “business time” as in “ITS BUSINESS TIME!!”
Also, romping, shagging, canoodling, getting jiggy with it, messin the sheets, pounding the meat, basting the turkey, tomfoolery, spelunking (look it up, the definition of it is “the exploration of caves as a hobby”), taming the whippersnapper, play time as in “want to come over and play?” (alternatively a play date) and last but not least: “Hey Baby, lets go cunt hunting!” or for the rather derelict “Hey sex rot, lets go cumpster diving!”
Bonking, Doing the nasty, Making Lovey – Dovey, or just our good old-fashioned Dutch word : Neuken
fucking
shagging
sex
makin mess
fun time
nookies
anything that sounds fun at the time
nookie cracks me up everytime, especially when my bf says it
I’ve already won the ohmibod one but i thought i would try again anyway, and i want to throw in my favourite term too!
Me and my boyfriend use the term “ rockin’ it “ haha :)
Fornication! Such a unsexy sounding word…
The Naughty Dance
Hee!
banging.
Oh gosh I just remembered snoo snoo!
Death By Snoo Snoo in Futurama to be precise…
[giggles]
My DEFINATE favourite way to say that someone’s getting it on would have to be
Stuck in Traffic.
From in my year 11 music class, where a good friend of mine and his girlfriend were absent and he text us and said he was ‘Stuck in Traffic’.
Yeah Right !
And since then we always use it.
Making zee jiggy-jiggy (said with a cute foreign accent)
getting down to business :D
sexin’ :D
As Spanish is my native lenguage, I’ve tried my best to translate our expressions as juciest as possible:
Mixing powders
Sheltering the unicorn
Spooning the brew
Wetting the wand
and
Eating the cake
greetings from my beloved!!
Lili
Linguists say a language tells a lot about the people using it and their psyche. In my dialect (from Florence, Italy) we have thousands of ways to say “make love” meaning we are probably obsessed with it. We have very dirty ones ( trombare, scopare, caricare) but we also have very naive ones, that our catholic mothers used to tell us about the facts of life… My favourite sounds something like: “getting to know someone biblically”. I never got the reference to the Bible… is everybody shagging in that book? I would guess not….
My bf and I use “strusci-strusci” (= more or less “rub- rub”).. veeery cute :)
I just looked at the first and last comments, and the last kinda made me laugh (I’m half Italian): the first time someone told me about “scopare” (having sex but also sweeping (the floor)) I mae hese huge round “WTF” eyes at them, and when it was explained to me I burst out laughing. Since then, trombare and scopare are my favorite, albeit foreign, ways of saying it.
The English alternative for me would be “doing the dirty dance” or plain old “having sex” and I sometimes end up having some odd way of saying it with a person in particular.
Much love!
PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME!
I DESPERATELY WANT TO WIN THIS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
i’m entry 123!
ill even make a rhyme:
please pick me
entry 123
its meant to be
i hope you see!
Ps. another one:
“doing the lovers jig”
Not that i ever actually say it, but it’s still funny :P
oh so corny but ‘snuggle bunny time’
what can i say…
‘I’m gonna fill you out like an application’ ;)
ecchi no koto shiyou!
Japanese for, lets do perverted things!
GETTING JIGGY WIT’ IT! hee hee
getting freaky deaky
go halves on a baby
how`s your father
I forgot:
get randy
‘I’ll treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on the desk and do you all night long!’
Once I was (literally!) stuck in traffic with my brother and he suddenly sighed in frustration and shouted to another car “This traffic is so slow I coulda fucked my girlfriend back there!”
I’m partial to the classic fucking, but any euphemism involving stringed instruments is gold.
Haha my favourite way to propose sex: Hey, wanna bang?
I use the phrase ‘get on his face’ to encourage my girlfriends to snog guys they like…but people always seem to take it in a much, ah…ruder fashion…
I usually just refer to it as funny business
Also, I use the term downstairs parts when referring to .. my downstairs parts!
Bumpin’ nasties – Catches people off guard the first time they hear me say it. And then they laugh and laugh and laugh. Best. Thing. Ever.
My boy’s secret code for having sex has always been “playing cards”.
I.e. “Do you want to come over and play cards later”?
I have no idea where it came from. But it’s fun and naughty to say it in crowded places, around his family or my friends! Because they don’t know what we are really saying.
Generally if we are in a funny/naughty mood we will refer to sexing as “pounding”. It’s our joke dirty talk. “You’re going to get a good pounding later”. Always makes me laugh.
ragging!
We call it ‘Eating Fried Chicken’.
“shall we go and play?“ Said seductively with a wink!
When we’re feeling euphemistic it’s “thinging”, which always makes me laugh. Conversations end up going like, “You know when we were thinging and then you thinged…?”
Scandalous love on a bed with candles!!
lol
business time
fucking
or
Welcome to the Thunderdome
Sexual Intercourse
It makes it sound so clean and clinical. Hot.
I go old school. I roll in zee hay :]
When we lesbians have sex, we’re “playing guitar hero”.
Don’t you love euphemisms?
My boyfriend and I call it “pope” or “pope-pope”. It is an inside joke referring to the actual pope and “things” we were doing on the couch while he was on the news. It was very funny at the time (and still is). We like it because we can say it and no one knows what we are talking about. It’s a sexy secret.
get your jollies
carnal gymnastics
fishing for trouser trout
tiptoe through the two lips
pube resequencing
Thanks for reading folks, I’ll be back again soon! Try the veal and don’t forget to tip your waiters!
I’m not even kidding, but my boyfriend and I call it “cupcaking” or “baking cupcakes”.
It’s hilarious, since now most of our friends think that we have an unbriddled and passionate love of baking now.
Not to mention we told our friends that we were busy “cupcaking” and he was like, “HOMG! Can I go too!?”
Tee hee!
i just like to stick with ‘doing it’
tickling the ivories…
Probably Romping, or Banging.
I especially liked Bang/Banged/Banging when I got off of an 8 day cruise and exclaimed to my best friends “I banged a Brit!”
Me and my friend Roy call it “giggity goo”
example:
“when was the last time you Giggity giggity goo’d?”
lol
Used to be Hanky Panky.. odd I know.
Now it’s called ‘Business Time’ thanks to Flight of the Conchords =]
I like “doing the mattress rodeo”. Or “horizontal tango”.
My boyfriend and I refer to it as sexytime or boingy. If we are in bed, either is usually accompanied by some kind of stupidly childish action, generally by wiggling my hips at him until he tells me that no, I’m wrong, its snooze-time instead! Haha.
My naked partner and I like to anticipate the day sex will be on a sports channel. Next, on full contact macking, or Have you ever seen a move like that in the nude division?
Playing we absolutely call it play time.
When I was in college, my boyfriend and I were looking after my little brother. We snuck into a room and closed to door for a few second to steal a kiss, and my brother discovered us and demanded to know what was going on.
“Ugh, are you guys going to make nasty in there?”
I could not stop laughing! Ever since then, “making nasty” has been my favorite euphemism for having sex.
Between me and the boyfriend, we don’t really have to say anything. It’s just a sly glance towards the bedroom and a wink
With friends, if we spy someone who’s a bit scrumptious, we say “I’d so like to jump his bones” or “I’d let him pork me” followed by hysterical laughter which makes the poor boy we’d been lusting after stare at us and never want to pork us. Ever.
BUTTER MY MUFFIN!
We just talked about this with my mate and thought that all Finnish words sound so nasty. Then I said that my fav english way of saying it´s making passion. xD
Playing with images and word is so much fun.
Normally I just ask my husband if we can have sex which usually works or he just decided to start kissing and doing a very goofy lap dance to try and get me interested which normally works unless we have a bunch of things to get done. The other thing that seems to work is putting in Kentucky Fried Movie and fast forwarding/skipping chapters to where the guy is trying to have sex with his girlfriend and they put on a RECORD of how to have sex absolutely hilarious that sometimes works too unless we are too busy laughing.
I call it “jiggy jiggy” ! Or just a shag :)
I like sporking. It’s like spooning, but pokier. ;)
I’m a big fan of just plain old “doin it”! Simple, clean (leaves the dirt for later), and to the point. :D
...I am also quite fond of “The Pants-Off Dance Off.” haha
hot in-out in-out
or
making love (awww)
or
fucking hard! “stark und schnell” I say!
Nookie!
Said in utter delight!
Scissoring (must have appropriate hand motions)
Making the sexy
Doing the boom boom
Playing Musical bedsprings
‘Playing checkers’ and any variation thereof
“Let’s make love… and listen to Death From Above!”
getting it on
fucking
doing it
not really all that creative
:P
When my Western Civilization teacher was reading Chaucer aloud to us in 10th grade, he like to omit certain parts and just simply say:
“And then they did nocturnal gymnastics.”
It has been one of my favorite expressions since!
the horizontal tango!!!
for a quickie i like:
a frolic in the closet =]
Well I hope you are ready for this..
Here it is..
Dun dun dun
prepare yourselves!!!
I like to call having sex…
“Having Sex”
Whew.
getting tail! hahaha
Putting the beef in the taco. hilarious.
Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston
Playing is my favourite!!
Oh, “Knocking boots” for sure. Makes sense with my rather extensive collection of footwear.
“Sexy time!’
‘Making a ham sandwich’, or just ‘ham sandwich’ when we are in polite conversation. I can’t remember how it came about tho!
my best friend and i sometimes call it the “happy dance” ahahaaahhaa it always makes me giggle naughtily ;)
my boyfriend also calls it “business time” a la flight of the conchords :)
xo
i have a friend who says ‘choppin’
i also think ‘scrubbin’ is funny
and ‘gut-wrenchin’ or ‘the prince and princess game’
lol
oh yeah, did anyone say AFTERNOON DELIGHT ???
lol the best!!!
My favorite has got to be makin’ babies… or in my case, hopefully not actually making but fakin’ babies :)
in conversation,
“doin’ it”
“railing”
“have a little smackfest” – timbaland
in practice, usually just “fucking”
Mmmm. definitely know- in the biblical sense.
as in, “bring them unto us, so that we may know them.” from that part in the bible where two angels almost get raped, and then Lot offers up his two virginal daughters instead. Nice dad.
also ‘getting to know each other’ works too.
i just like saying “oh yeah, she knew him- in the biblical sense;)”
banging :) boning, knocking boots, baking cookies :D FUCKING!
Doing the rompy pomp.
I was watching a documentary on hippos on the Discovery channel months and months ago. It was narrated by an upright British man with a lovely accent. I was only half paying attention and all of a sudden I hear, “At this time of year, the hippos are doing the rompy pomp.”
Benita — Rompy pomp! That’s awesome. I always liked RUMPY PUMPY though I admit I have never ever used :D
Schtumpf is a nice made up word. Use like a verb, “Let’s schtumpf”... “Wanna schtumpf?” It just seems to fit :D
A fantastic one I heard recently was to ‘smash your back door in’ to refer to buttsecks. “I’ll smash your back door in” Ahahahaha, crass but so so funny :D
I’ve also been on the receiving end of the following lovely phrase “I’d like to stuff you like a Thanksgiving Turkey”.
I really like “fucking like bunnies.” It makes me feel frisky, like I should put on some fuzzy rabbit ears and hop around in frilly knickers! (Bunny tail included, of course.)
Also, there’s an awesome phrase from a book called Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, in which a delivery man is reminiscing about a park which he and the misses would to go to “spoon, and on one memorable occasion, fork.” I love it. :D
Hm… so many good ones have been said already!
“Using the Handicapped Washroom” – I’m in a college class of 9 guys and 1 other girl than me… thus, every time I leave the classroom with a guy, I get asked upon return if we were in the only bathroom with a locking door ;D
“Moseying” – I don’t even know how we came up with that. It was all part of top-secret high-school code language me and my best friend made up. “Prince Eric and Ariel went for a mosey on the rocket ship!” meant something to do with two people, sex and a bus. :) And of course, the word for oral was “treeing”... Thanks, Cranium! Best board game ever.
And of course, the classic…
“Watching Movies” – ‘Cause really now, who actually does that?
I like to ask for “a little sugar.” Then there’s also “getting lucky,” for which I wear my lucky undies. I may, in fact, mention that I’m wearing my lucky undies. That often does the trick.
It depends on what I want, sometimes I’m specific-like “eat my pussy, bitch!” Sometimes, though, I just say “sexy time” and tell him to get naked.
I LIKE TO COLOR!
;)
I like to walk straight up to a certain sex/conversation buddy, and share our favorite inside joke. I just say “Ah. Bomb. In. Ah. Bull,” and … things start happening.
It’s because months ago, when I was sick and terribly stuffy, the sex/conversation buddy asked me to say “abominable,” because he knew I couldn’t pronounce it with such a cold.
When I stubbornly separated the syllables, he decided that … things were going to start happening.
Upper Hutt representin here :)
Getting it on…
Playin with the VJayJay..
Afternoon/Evening Delight..
A meeting with the manager! ;)
squish-o-lating
makin whoopy
My roomie and I have called it “swooping” ever since she was attempting to seduce the guy of her dreams and we needed a discreet way to talk about “gettin’ it on” =P After the code word was developed I started using it to warn her (via text message) if things were heating up while she was in class or something – just so we could avoid awkward run ins.
Now my BF and I constantly ask each-other if we want to “swoop” that day! I think its less the word and more the tone of voice used but its such a fun thing to say ( and do)!
Tap that, hit that, ride it like you stole it, getting it on, getting laid, banging…funnier ones tend to be things like ‘climb that like a tree’, ‘sexy time’, ‘bang like a screen door in a hurricane’, and the ever-popular ‘bow chicka wow wow.’
My blonde friends here in Tokyo routinely get mistaken for Russian prostitutes, what women wouldn’t be seduced by such charming lines as “How much for sex party?” or “Are you looking for work tonight?”
Bes Moi mmhmm French boys are charming, non?
brown chicken brown cow
Say it fast and out loud, you’ll see.
business time, sexy time, or just plain fucking.
however, my favourite is one my brother and i came up with: “slam her like a car door…” ahaha. best phrase EVER.
Boinking
Snoo-snoo!
Bang-Bang
A ‘snuggle’
NAFTA (‘nother afternoon fucking that ass)
Exit-polling.
:)
That’s just to name a few (yes yes, some are from cartoons)
my boyfriend calls it “can hasing” (like the whole lolcat ‘i can has cheezburger’ thing… “i can has you tonight?”) or he calls it “giving you lays” (like “i got laid”, “she gave me lays.”)
he’s silly :)
Bumping & grinding ;)
my boyfriend (soon to be ex) always says “hugging and kissing”. which always ends up as sex.
hmm i also love making up my own nonsense names for it! like:
playing the noodle
giggles n gurgles
shake hands with the little man
pee pee in jee jee
muffin mucking
plucking peenies
ok I might be a bit late for this but my friends and I have tons of ways to say it although they are in spanish so the translation might not be as funny:
Shake the coke
Turn the i pod on
Put the hat on
color outside of the lines
go out
star wars fight
popotear (dont know how to translate this one)
Playing hide the purple turnip, anyone?
A game vastly more enjoyable than cluedo methinks :)
x
I like to just yell to my husband “GET INSIDE ME!!” Hilarious, crude, and to the point.
Shakespeare has this shit down. Pouring ale on the dewlaps is easily my favorite phrase. Collecting the dowry and loosening the girdle are up there as well. At the end of the day though, I find that creating an aperture by joining the left thumb to its corresponding index finger, and then holding the right index finger at a ninety degree angle from the palm of the hand allows for a convincing communication of copulation when rhythmically joined together.
Well there’s the good old fashioned ‘fucking’, but the more subtle one tends to be ‘watching a movie’.
The code is unbreakable, nobody will ever catch on.
My code word w/le boy?
“let’s play!” :)
“Playing twister”!
Having some <>Beef and Broccoli!<> is what my bf and I will say. This came about due to hearing the following posted joke from our friends (Asian humor, I guess!) Go to the punchline to understand why! We were joking about it when he blurted out “Beef and Broccoli” and it’s been our reference ever since.
“A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin.
Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
‘My darring,’ he whispers, ‘I know dis you firss time
and you berry flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting – juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?’ he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will
impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.
She eventually shyly whispers back, ‘I want to try
someting I have hear about from odda girls… Numbaa 69.’
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her….
‘You want…... Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?’”
I like the ultra-cheesy ones, like getting it on and getting freaky. They always make me laugh!
“building a house”
My roommates and I would often be sitting on the back porch smoking a cigarette and someone would be upstairs doing the deed, and all you’d hear is the bed frame banging against the wall. As the walls are quite thin, it sounded like a worker hammering wood together to build a house; hence, the phrase “building a house”.
Luke: Where’s Ali?
Olivia: Oh, she’s upstairs with Ben building a house. They’re working on the second story, by the sound of it.
We used to call it Bacon & Eggs. Strange I know. & it’s not what you think.
It’s actually because I never eat bacon & eggs, but I told my last bf that i’d make him that for breakfast the morning after. So therefore bacon&egs meant he was getting some :)
My new fave is from the ever so awesome Children of the Earth series of books (including Clan of the Cave Bear). It’s something like this:
Would you like to share the gift of pleasure in my sleeping furs tonight?
Or just sharing pleasures in the furs.
one hand (usually left) is shaped to make an “o” shape, index finger of the right hand gets extended while the rest of the fingers stay in fistish formation. Insert index into “o”, take it out, repeat.
Apparently I’m 5.
AHHHGGHGHGH!!!!!!!
the commenting is not working. “Please enter a comment.”
No more witty reply, I’m just coming out with it.
“shagging”
“to shag”
etc.
and of course it works that time.
:D
Ploughing
Makes me giggle and kinda wince at the same time.
Haha.
Ploughing.
Or plowing. However you wanna spell it.
Hehe!
“Oh if I didn’t have to go to work we could totally plough.”
Hah.
xx
Also!
HOEING
Whilst we’re thinking about farm tools and whatnot.
Hoeing’s another good one.
And my most commonly used – plain old sexing.
:)
good, old-fashioned
fucking
please.
‘Getting carpet burns’
Theres a nice little story to go with that one that I’m sure the folk of the internet do not wish to hear.
Or the slightly immature, ‘poking’, which doesn’t need to be explained.
But generally, a sharp raise of the eyebrows gives the right impression.
:)
Hehehe I love all the replies where people have said “It’s our secret code, so we can talk about it with other people around and no one knows what we’re talking about.”
Hehe, trust me…
They know.
:)
Dipping the wick is just naughty enough.
bangin’!
i like the way it works 2 ways: that girl is bangin, i want to bang her…
*Boxing the Eggplant
Feeding the Perpetual Turkey
Firing the Ferret
Putting a Kink in the Robot
Stretching the Spanish Monkey
Saluting the Purple Dragon
Peeling the Batmobile*
Lol. I emailed my Costa Rican friend (known for her flavoursome vernacular) about this and she sent me back this list :)
Boxing the Eggplant
Feeding the Perpetual Turkey
Firing the Ferret
Putting a Kink in the Robot
Stretching the Spanish Monkey
Saluting the Purple Dragon
Peeling the Batmobile
Lol. I emailed my Costa Rican friend (known for her flavoursome vernacular) about this and she sent me back this list :)
I know I’m way past cut off for this one, but I just read the post and had to add a comment. My friend once used the term Root ‘em ups and it made me smile sooo wide. I’ve loved the term ever since.