Hooray, hooray! It’s our second birthday!

So, wow! What a curious bunch! First of all I have to say thank you for your involvement, & for being so interested in my life! I’m extremely flattered. I have way too many questions for one post, so I’m going to break it down & spread it across a few days.

A whole bunch of you emailed me to say that you hoped I answered my own self-deprecating suggestion questions, so here we go!

Why do you hate bananas?

I can’t really explain it, I just always have! They make me frown! My father hated bananas until he was 35 & then became obsessed with them. He eats them constantly, I think he is making up for lost time. Maybe I will follow in his footsteps. Tune in in ten years & I’ll give you an update!

What’s the deal with you & Nubby being married?

Well, we’re married, but not legally. Star performed a real wedding ceremony for us at our birthday party on the 13th of September 2008. However… Nubby has a boyfriend (who is thankfully not the jealous type!), so I guess it’s fair to say we haven’t consummated our love! Yet! I will knock her up one day, I swear!

What are your plans for 2009?

I’m still plotting it out, though I can tell you that 2009 will include relocation to the United States, lots of travel (New York, NY, Los Angeles & San Francisco, CA, Miami & Orlando, FL, New Orleans, LA, Minneapolis, MN, a bunch of crazy places in ND & SD, Las Vegas, NV, plus maybe Tokyo, Paris & New Zealand… I would also like to do some kind of tropical getaway, mmmmm tropical), & some sweet personal triumphs. Mostly I am looking forward to settling into my own place in New York City, making some bling & devoting myself to some exciting new projects!

You say things are your favourite all the time, do you actually know what that word means?

Maybe not… !

If you didn’t live in New York City, what would be your second choice?

Oooooh! Good question, Gala! Too good for me to answer. I actually don’t know. Probably somewhere else in the USA, I am really over the antipodes in general. Maybe if I wanted to scare the crap out of myself I’d move to Paris or Berlin!

Why are you so obsessed with Virgos?

They’re analytical, exacting, perfectionistic, creative, eccentric, articulate, thoughtful, “deep”, hard workers, authentic & genuine. They do things to the best of their ability & it shows. They have high standards & are extremely observant. They’re great problem-solvers & adapt to all sorts of social situations. Oh, & they have amazing sexual energy. (Raunch!!!) They’re the undisputed best star sign. God, why would you even ASK that, Gala?!

Why do you stand like that in every single photo?

Because it’s cute. & it makes your legs look longer. THE TRUTH COMES OUT!

Who is your nemesis?

Anyone who tells me to turn my music down! Or anyone who tries to get other people to live their way. Chill out!

Is it going to rain on Tuesday?

Probably not.

Will you adopt me?

Sure! Just don’t expect a hot cooked meal every night…

Okay, now to your actual questions! Ahem…

What colours have you dyed your hair over the years? (Brie)

Black, white, pink, red, blue, purple, green, brown… I haven’t gone orange (bleh!) but I have gone a rusty kind of auburn colour! In fact, here, I made a handy little chart of my major hair colour progressions. I have not included all the different combinations, lengths, styles, ridiculous shaved bits, etc., because… it would be the biggest picture the world has ever seen.

What’s your natural hair color? (Elizabeth L.)

Dark brown; the same colour as my eyebrows, though it hasn’t seen the light of day for a long time!

What label(s) do you use to identify your sexual orientation? (Kate)

I don’t really use a label to identify my sexual orientation, because that’s not really important to me. Though I would say “straight” isn’t something that resonates with me! I don’t really understand people who feel that they can only express physical love towards one sex. To me it’s all about the person, I don’t care if they’re a man or a woman or an in-between. (My first ever crush was on Jessica Rabbit.)

If this isn’t getting too personal, what’d you study at uni? (a)

I wanted to be a criminal psychologist — what?! I think because, like every other angsty teen, I was obsessed with serial killers — & I took courses in Psychology, English, Statistics (blergh), Computer Science & Sexuality. I wasn’t at university long, though. I actually skipped the last year of school & went to university early, which was a mistake. Basically I spoke to the dean of my year because I went to an all girls’ Anglican school which I really, intensely disliked, & told her I wanted to change to the local public high school. I was just over it. She said, “Why don’t you just go to university early? I’ll write you a reference, you’re ready”. I was so excited by the idea of getting out of the school system a year sooner than I expected (!!!) that I said yes, but I didn’t really have any reason for going, other than thinking it was “what you did”. Silly!

What is a typical day like for you? How much time do you spend at the ‘pute? (Jules)

Honestly it depends on the city I’m in. In Wellington, where I am now, I wake up at 7.30am & spend pretty much my entire day in front of my laptop, with long phonecalls every night to my friends in NZ who work 9-5. I go out maybe two nights a week. In New York, I also wake up at 7.30am, but my day is structured differently. I do my best writing in the morning, so that’s when I get all my content together. Then I would usually go & meet someone or go shopping in the afternoon, & then meet someone else or go out for a meal or a drink in the evening. When I’m travelling, which happens a lot, my schedule is completely off. I snatch any spare moments I can (on planes, in airports, first thing in the morning before anyone else wakes up) to write, fossick around for a wifi connection, & spend most of my day doing something else!

Have you ever thought about publishing a real, physical iCiNG by Gala Darling book full of all your style tips and little answers to life? Because it would quite possibly be my bible. (Dayna)

I have! In fact, that’s something I want to work on in 2009. I have a very clear picture of it in my head, & dude, it is going to blow your socks off.

How much money do you earn?

How much money do YOU earn?! Golly.

What is the age range of your site? I don’t think that it is really 18-30. Your wise words reach those beyond 30 I am sure. (Che)

I have had email from girls as young as 12 & women up to the age of about 70! (If you think you’re iCiNG’s oldest or youngest reader, HOLLA!) So the range is much broader than 18-30, but I would say the majority of my readers are within that age bracket.

I am also curious about you and Nubby. Your tattoo kind of looks like you two but I think you got it before you met. Was it visualisation that became real? (Che)

Yes, I’ve had that tattoo for years (since I was about 21 I think). I can’t say for sure whether it was a visualisation that came real — strange things happen with my tattoos, where I get them for no particular reason & then parts of them start to become eerily applicable to my life. So, maybe!

If you could be any colour crayon, what would you be and why? (Melinda)

Either electric blue, purple or hot pink. My Little Pony colours!

My $64 million dollar question for you is: Are you & Tim Kern an item or not ? 🙂 Or is it Mr Crunk that now rings your bells? And what’s with the Tim fetish? 🙂 (Jenny)

Oh my god! Hahah! I don’t have a Tim fetish! Here is my official statement: Tim Kern & I are not an item, & have never been. We were “dating” — weird term — seeing each other, whatever, but now we’re not. Ditto on Timmy Crunk, in fact! They are both awesome guys & very very good friends of mine. They are eerily similar too, I think if they met the world might implode.

I’m sure this has been asked, but besides from what your real name is, what inspired you to change it? (gia)

I never liked it, so I decided to do with it what I do with anything I don’t like — which is do something about it!

Care to share details on the worst date you’ve ever been on? (Jessica Elle)

Sure, why not?! This is a story about the ONE date I went on in New York.

I met a guy at a fancy party — we were the only people with visible tattoos there, so he made a beeline for me. We started talking & flirting & he was really cute, he was black with sleeve tattoos & stretched ears (why is that SO CUTE on a guy?) & a fetish for high-end luggage (oh, who knows), & he asked me for my number. I gave it to him because I was so caught off-guard, & didn’t actually expect to hear from him. He called me the next day & asked me to go out with him, & after much deliberating, said yes. (I thought, even if this is a total disaster, at least it will be interesting.)

I caught a taxi to his friend’s place where they were having a party. I get there & he is pretty boozed. He tells me he is a personal trainer & insists — INSISTS — that I touch his stomach. It is impressive. I ask him how many sit-ups he does a day. He says 200. One of his friends — another personal trainer — says, “Oh, you’re from New Zealand? How long have you been in America? Your English is pretty good!” I look at him, dumb-founded, & ask him what language he thinks we speak in NZ. He has no idea. I am afraid.

The party was wrapping up so a bunch of us went to catch another cab to some other party. It turned out to be me, him & about four other guys — too many people to fit in one cab. They will usually only take 4 passengers. They were all personal trainers — so weird, so not my thing — so you know, they weren’t small, squishable guys. Their plan was that we would flag a cab & get in & I would sit on someone’s lap or something. About five cabs were like “NO I’m not taking all of you at once”, but eventually we got some guy who just wanted the fare & let us in. The guy I was there with wanted to see the sports results on the touch-screen thing, so he was pressing the screen, but kind of pounding it, not really touching it. The taxi driver got pissed off, & was like, “STOP THAT”, so the guy I was with apologised. But then… he punched the wall between us & the driver REALLY hard! I don’t know why! The driver went nuts & was like, “GET OUT OF MY CAB”, so we got out, grudgingly.

So we’re all walking up the road to try & find another cab, & then we realise that my guy (I don’t remember his name, oops) isn’t with us. We turn around & see him crouching down behind the cab, & as it goes to pull away, he PUNCHES the back of the cab REALLY HARD! & the driver slams on the brakes, & my guy (oh how embarrassing) jumps up & yells, “RUN!” His hand is bleeding & has bits of glass in it, I’m wearing heels & trying to walk quickly, the driver is yelling bloody murder & saying he’s going to call the cops. So this ridiculous motley crew that is our group basically takes a bunch of crazy side alleys & we can hear the taxi driver yelling after us, but eventually we lost him. Phew.

My crazy date is trying to hold my hand but I’m so not into it because a) he is crazy & b) he is bleeding, so I talk to one of his more sane friends. We eventually get to a club in Chelsea which is packed out, & they are playing bad music. We dance, a bit, but I’m really just thinking about how I want to leave. Crazy boy has finally gone to wash his hand & I am not as leery of him as I was but I still think he is nuts & am totally not interested. He is flirting with me & telling me how hot I am & I’m laughing nervously, like, “Haha, yeeeeeah…” He kisses me & I say something like, “Hey, you’re cool but I’ve got to go”. I leave. He texts & calls me a lot. I never respond.

I saw him about a month later on an opposite subway platform, & hid behind a pillar. Awesome.

What’s your fail-safe way to grab a guys attention? (Jessica Elle)

Punch a taxi. HAHAAH! No. Just be yourself! If they don’t see you for how amazing you are, who cares? Move on!

Part two coming soon… !