Irregular Choice Shoes I Love & The Imaginary People Who Wear Them

Irregular Choice

Jo Jo
The woman who loves the Jo Jo ankle boot/sandal could be described as a modern-day, Harajuku-obsessed, discotheque-loving Marie Antoinette. She loves her pastel-coloured frippery but isn’t afraid to team it up with avant-garde pieces. She would wear these shoes out dancing, with a huge powdered wig, a beauty spot & a short turquoise babydoll dress over bloomers & holographic leggings. Her favourite thing to do is take Japanese sticker-booth pictures with friends after a night out. She screams with delight whenever anyone smiles at her & she uses an enormous feather quill to take notes in her marketing lectures.

Irregular Choice

Spik & Span
This girl has long, straight, pale pink hair & an eyelash-skimming fringe. She walks slowly & enjoys reciting poems by Yoko Ono verbatim. She wears these sandals with a pair of loose trousers & a pink & white striped halterneck top. She works in an art gallery & speaks so quietly barely anyone can hear her. She is most happy when caught in the rain without an umbrella, or when attempting to decipher her cat’s purring.

Irregular Choice

La Isla (green & black)
These are the heels of choice for an off-duty, cigar-smoking ballet teacher. She wears them to the Sunday markets, with dark grey jeans, a pale yellow vintage Beach Boys t-shirt & a royal blue, you guessed it, ballerina wrap cardigan. She grits her cigar stub between yellow-stained teeth as she smiles at the man who sells her radishes, then pirouettes off down the street.

Irregular Choice

Fish Out Of Water (black)
Worn by a Pisces with wavy mermaid hair, these gorrrrrgeous ankle boots get her from the swimming pool to the art studio & back again. She wears these with a black, shin-length skirt, lots of gold bangles & a slate-blue camisole beneath a half-buttoned white shirt (sleeves rolled up, of course). She constantly tucks her hair behind her ears & has a pair of blue, goldfish-embossed chopsticks with which she offers other people a bite of her favourite lunch, sushi.

Irregular Choice

Quilted
Hermes, Greek god, wore winged boots to get him from place to place. In keeping with this fine theme, the woman wearing these boots would also wear an Hermes scarf tied around her head — along with a fitted, short black motorcycle jacket, black shorts & stockings, & an Obi belt in pink & gold.

Irregular Choice

Pixie
This is a great shoe for boys. I love its pointy toe & that very casual buckle curled around the outside. The red stitching draws attention to the contours of the shoe, which is actually pretty shapely for a “pixie shoe”. I can picture a boy like Patrick Wolf (drool) wearing these. He’d wear them with a pair of tightly-pegged pants, finishing just below the knee, perhaps playing the lute in a forest somewhere, slugging whiskey from an engraved silver hip-flask & kissing other sweet elfin boys… Okay, I’ll stop there.

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