15 October 2007, 13:32
I have to tell you, when I came up with the idea for this contest, I was NOT expecting to hear so many stories of nipple trauma! Who knew they were such a source of horror for so many people?! It was actually quite harrowing. Thank you to everyone who sent me their very personal stories. Take care of your bosoms, hmmm?!
Our winners are…
Here is a true-to-life tale. Several days ago, a some friends of mine dropped by the house unannounced. Since they were unannounced, I was lounging around in semi-pajama type clothes- sweatpants & an old Donnie Darko t-shirt with the neck cut out. “Come on a walk with us!” cried Katie and Matt, with much aplomb, which was strange, given that the day was damp and cold. But I agreed to accompany them, and as I slipped on some sandals, Matt asked, “And can we take your dog?”
Gala, you have never met a dog as deranged or decrepit as mine. He is thirteen (91 in dog years!), epileptic, overweight, going blind AND deaf, and his back legs are arthritic. He is the nicest, friendliest, quietest thing on this earth (I can count the number of times I’ve heard him bark or growl on one hand) but he is falling apart. Such became apparent as we started down the street. Lagging behind, occasionally getting disoriented and running backwards, or tripping over branches, Jackson made himself look quite the fool. But it wasn’t until we reached Main Street that the real problems began.
Since this walk was spur of the moment, and taking Jackson was spur of the spur, I hadn’t through to bring along his leash. Jackson, oblivious to the danger to himself and the near heart attacks I was suffering, wandering time and time again into the street. Thankfully, my small town had little traffic on a Monday afternoon, but seeing your ancient yellow lab sauntering down the meridian is bound to instill some worry nonetheless.
The fourth time Jackson leapt (or…fell) off the sidewalk and into Highway 116, a minivan was actually approaching. Running out into the road, I bent down and grasped Jackson firmly by the collar, pulling him out of the way. In doing so, the very loose tshirt and its very wide collar fell forward to reveal my rather nippy nipples, standing to salute both the woman driving the minivan, and Matt and Katie on the sidewalk. While Katie fell to hysterics, and the woman in the minivan merely smiled sympathetically, Matt (whom I do not know too well as of the writing of this anecedote) blushed a deep rose color and turned away. Straightening up, and hauling Jackson’s plump form along with me, I resumed by walk…but Matt did not meet my eyes for the rest of our visit.
Gala, how will I walk my dog decently without your help?
How will I make Matt a true friend if he feels as though I am apt to have a wardrobe malfunction during the most mundane of activities?
If he feels I am bound to expose myself to random drivers, even by accident?
Will word get around that if you drive Main Street on certain October afternoons, a young girl may flash you?
Gala, you are my only remedy.
I have been a ballet dancer for 9 years now, but I have recently become aware of the fact that when I get nervous, my nipples perk up. When do I get the most nervous you ask? Any time I am on stage. Now, this would not be as big of a deal as it may seem, wearing colored leotards and all, but oh Gala, it is horrendous to be nipping when you are in a white, skin tight, almost see through leotard, doing the dance of the ice crystals in our seaonal performance of the Nutcracker. Sure, dance companies brag about having a shelf bra, or ‘lined’ leo, but that means nothing when you are nipping. Along with the fact that you can see through the gosh darn thing. The conundrum of my nipples was pointed out to me as I was watching the performance on video at a cast party. I was mortified. Never ever have I wanted small children of all ages to be able to see my nipples as I danced around like the beautiful ice crystal I was. I would like my nipples to be covered up as I bounce around the family friendly stage thank you very much. So, I am asking you, to please award me a pair of these wonderful gems, so I don’t turn families away from our performances.
God, I sure could have used a pair of those last year! This is definitely “How Embarrassment!” material.
Last winter I was working in the rental dept of Turoa Ski Field, and we’d always be cold (although we were inside) whenever a customer or thirty walked through the door – below 0 winds!
Being busty of nature, quite honestly my nipples are a little larger than usual (though boys love them haha!) and very embarrassing when cold, to be standing in front of a crowd of school holiday customers with pointy things sticking out of my uniform. Brr…
What’s worse is the fact that, near the end of the season, another staffmember approached me and had the guts to ask if I had my nipples pierced? She explained that some of the guys we worked with had ‘noticed’ and wanted to know whether it was just one or both! I was soooo embarrased, I HAD to tell her that ‘yes, in fact I do have both my nipples pierced but it’s rather a personal thing to be asking so would they mind their own business in future?!’
I couldn’t believe it! To this day that girl still works there, those guys are actually still my friends (!) & I have to maintain the story that I have both my nipples pierced to hide my horror!
As you know i’m making a trip home in a weeks’ time & I’ll have to make sure i’m wearing an extra-thick-padded bra when I go up the Mountain to visit my old boss!!
Could have used a pair of Nippies when I flashed Florence a few months ago.
I was on a Contiki tour of Italy and standing in a crowded square in Florence. I had dressed in a hurry, and looking down I realised I had managed to put my singlet top on backwards. I was standing in a crowd who were all looking at statues, so I figured if I just sneakily slid my arms out of the straps, turned the singlet around, and pulled the straps up again, I could rectify the situation.
However once I had the second strap off, the singlet just fell down, and at that instant, the tour guide directed the group’s attention to the statue behind me.
I’m entering this not just for myself, but on behalf of my collective group of friends. until this year, i have always had self-esteem issues, and i went through all the joys of disordered eating and crippling social fears and all those things that are a rollercoaster of joy. this year has seen me get a lot better, and happier, and generally more confident and, on a whim, i got nipple piercings. i now can’t stop showing them off! they’re my favourite body part, and anyone who expresses a slight interest in hearing about the piercings gets to see them. my friends, however, have probably seen my boobs more than they have seen their own, or their girlfriends (or, in some cases, their boyfriends!) so i’m entering so that i can still have fun flashing people, yet i can spare my long-suffering friends another glimpse of my newly-pierced nipples, as they can think of many (many!) times where these things would come in handy. (particularly the star-shaped black ‘pussycat’ ones!) they’d also be great for hooping, i don’t think the parents in the park like me getting annoyed with restrictive clothing and pulling it off when i practice!
Congratulations, girls! I hope your Nippies bring you much joy!
P.S. Can India & Sarah please email me an address where we can send your Nippies? Tell me which design you like best, too! Merci beaucoup!