Radical Self Love In The Mexican Jungle

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Hello from Tulum, where the water is warm, the ice-cream is made with coconut milk, and the neon blankets are plentiful (believe me: I’ve done the leg-work!). A week by the sea was exactly what I needed; I just didn’t know it.

There’s something incredible about listening to the ocean while you sleep, learning about astrology, getting massages and never wearing shoes. This has been such a fulfilling week and I’ve loved being with so many women. I think in a lot of ways Tulum is like Burning Man: it gives you what you never knew you needed. Very magical. (By the way, if you want to join us next year, we’ll be doing this again May 6th-13th of 2017!)

Now… Get ready for lots of photos!

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Standing on the stairs at Coqui Coqui, my favourite place to get a spa treatment in the entire world. The therapy room is at the top of a staircase just like this one, with windows the whole way around and a view of the ocean. My friend Grace (an incredible hypnotist) and I had a 3.5 hour treatment that included coconut scrubs, Mayan clay wraps, massages and an oil-filled bath. So divine.

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Bright pink flowers everywhere, giving me life, as always.

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The resort we stay at for the AstroTwins retreat, Shambala Petit, is loaded up with hot pink hammocks. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in this one.

“The true warrior isn’t immune to fear. She fights in spite of it.” ― Francesca Lia Block, Love in the Time of Global Warming

This has been a big year so far, and a few weeks ago, it felt like it all came to a head. I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety recently — which is very unlike me — and I realised that I have been allowing my fear mind to run my life. I have always been a worrier and I kind of accepted that as just “how I am,” but the other day when Garnett said to me, “You worry so much, it seems like you’re worrying all the time”, it dawned on me that my fears have been getting out of control. I decided that it was time to a) take back the power and b) put myself on a radical self love regime while I was in Tulum.

Radical self love is a practice. Even though I teach it, that doesn’t mean I know everything or that nothing ever needs to be tweaked or adjusted. Ending my marriage last year was a big transition for me, and even though I’ve been very active in the process of rediscovering myself, I still have a long way to go. It’s interesting because in some ways I feel more radiant than ever, but in others, I feel insecure and less than. It’s frustrating but I just have to be patient with myself, and think what advice I would give to someone else! The truth is that learning to love yourself is a life-long process, and even though you might be working on one facet of yourself, there are always going to be other areas that need attention, and not all of it will progress at the same rate.

I don’t think it’s unusual to feel that inner conflict: confidence and nervousness in the same breath, adventurousness alongside the desire to stick to what is comfortable and “safe”. We all have to be gentle with ourselves, honour our feelings (by actually feeling and then expressing them), and also — somewhat paradoxically — push ourselves when we feel like that is the right thing to do. It’s a balancing act, and I’m right there with you.

So I created a miniature retreat for myself within the AstroTwins’ retreat. Every day I gave myself a different exercise to complete, some more complicated than others. I wrote myself radical self love letters. I participated in a shamanic ritual around a fire. I laid on my back in a circular treehouse and experienced an unreal sound healing, I learned — and performed — a striptease routine, I had a one-on-one shamanic illumination, and I spent hours naked with a friend as someone rubbed coconut and rose oil into our skin. I spent lots of time walking, thinking, and processing. It was so necessary.

I’m typing this at the airport and I can safely say that my radical self love regime did exactly what I’d hoped for. I feel more centered, more sure of myself, and more aware of my blind spots. I have some ideas about how to deal with situations that were difficult or troubling. In short, I feel like myself again. Sometimes you really need to carve out some time to work on yourself. I’m so glad I listened to myself and took the time I needed.

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A day of exploring the jungle with my Pisces roomie, Grace. We met at a workshop in New Mexico last year and it was so great to spend another week with her!

On Monday afternoon I received an email from a woman named Brianna which said, “Every time your photos pop up in my Instagram feed, I get the feeling like I should read tarot cards for you. Would you like me to?” Of course I said yes, and a few hours later, she emailed me the most incredible three card reading. It was insane, and reiterated literally everything I had been thinking and talking about all day. I was so grateful to receive it. If you’re looking for a deep and intuitive reading, you should definitely check her out.

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Legendary pink dots. (And a vintage dress I found on Etsy.)

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As soon as I saw these sandals by Elina Linardaki on Instagram, I knew I needed them for Tulum! They are so fun. Anything covered in charms and pom-poms is a-okay by me.

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Yes.

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When you find a hammock that matches your outfit, you just have to go for it.

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How could you ever want to leave?

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The colours in Mexico are so gorgeous. Coming here always inspires me to bring more vivid hues into my life, in every single way.

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This sign is on the side of the road as you drive into Tulum. Loooooooove!

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Again with the colour: these ropes are used to designate car-parking spaces! So crazy. You would never see something like that in America!

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There’s nothing better than finding the perfect dress at a bargain price and then wearing it in the jungle and feeling like life couldn’t improve even if it tried.

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Also, this happened while I was deep in the jungle! My book hit #5 on the Kindle self-help list, just behind Big Magic! WHAT! Radical Self-Love is only $2.99 right now so if you’ve been waiting for a good deal, this is your chance baby!

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This swimsuit = life.

Our last night in Tulum was gorgeous: I lead a radical self love and New Moon ritual in a room beside the ocean, with copal burning and candles flickering. The room was full of red roses, the travelling cauldron sparkled and crackled, and there was a trail of rose petals leading to everyone’s rooms at the end of the night. Sublime

It has been such a sensational week and I am so deeply grateful to the AstroTwins for inviting me to join them. I can’t tell you how much I love not wearing shoes and wading in the sea, but by that same token, I’m glad to be going back to New York City, and straight into the arms of my man.

Kisses and sand between my toes,

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