The Key To More Money In Your Wallet? Drop The Fear!
We all wish we had more dollar bills in our wallets, but what’s the deal when you work your toosh off but never seem to gain any traction? Maybe it’s not the work you’re doing but the beliefs you hold that are the culprit. Mind-blowing, right?
I met Sherold Barr, business mentor, master life coach, and founder of Smart Women Make Money, a couple of years ago. She is fantastic, marrying a mix of entrepreneurial savvy with the kind of acute insight that only comes from years of rigorous self-improvement. With many booming businesses under her belt, Sherold is here to help women transform their relationship with money and build profitable businesses to support the life they want to live.
Sounds good, right? I’ve spoken to enough of my readers in person to know that you’re a hard-working bunch, and it’s time for you to reap the rewards! I believe it’s important to examine our attitudes and beliefs about everything, money included… And that’s where Sherold comes in.
We sat down for a quick Q&A, and I think what she said was illuminating to say the least!
We all wish we had more money in our bank accounts. In your experience, what do you think is the #1 thing blocking us from having more wealth?
We all want to have a positive relationship with money yet we don’t give money our time and attention because of fear or old beliefs about money.
The number one thing that holds us back is what I call a money block, which could be fear, a shaming experience, a limiting belief or a subconscious belief about money that you absorbed before age seven from your family. Your subconscious mind is much more powerful than your conscious mind.
I like to say, what you believe about money is what you will create because beliefs drive our behavior. It’s important to become conscious about what you heard. Think about the phrases “people like us can’t make money” or “rich people are snobs” or “money doesn’t grow on trees” and understand how that might be driving your own behavior with money.
There was a woman I’ll call Sue that was in my money class and had a successful business but never had money. She couldn’t figure out why she was always broke. She began to look back at her family beliefs and she uncovered they believed “people like us can’t keep money.”
Then she was able to look underneath that belief and understand why she was spending all of her money. She was afraid that if she made more money than her family or friends, they would cut her off and wouldn’t love her anymore. So unconsciously she spent every bit of money she made. I’m happy to say that once Sue became conscious of her belief, she was able to stop unconsciously spending her money.
The key is to become conscious of what you believe, understand how it drives your behavior (in Sue’s case to spend) and then to change it. Until you take it to behavior change, you will not be able to change your money issues.
The second reason that can block you from having more wealth is that you may not have a positive relationship with money. Do you look at your bank balance or your income/expenses regularly if you are an entrepreneur? Most women I see in my program are afraid to look at their finances. They think it’s more painful to look but in reality – what you resist will persist. Women tend to give their power away to money and their self-worth is tied to what they make or don’t make. This is all a matter of what they believe about money.
If you can practice courage and take a tiny step toward what you fear, you will not get stuck. Fear + action = courage. Start to take baby steps toward knowing exactly what income is coming in and what it costs you to live each month.
What would your advice be for someone who feels overwhelmed, and like there’s never enough money to go around?
I would recommend that the first thing you do is to imagine one year from now and set a Big Bold Money goal that feels attainable but a little edgy. Starting with the end in mind (the result you want), write out what you did in this year (one year from today) as if it already happened. Do not let your thoughts come in and ask you how you will do it. Write it down as if you are telling someone what you did this year, as if it already happened. Make it simple with bullet points and list what you did to earn more money. Then ask yourself what three feelings would you have when you manifest this money. What you’re doing is writing down your business desires for the next year.
The next step is feeling the feelings now as if you already have this money and this life you have written about. This way you cut out the middleman (waiting until) and feel those feelings now. There is something very powerful about setting an intention and putting out the energy to the Universe that you want to make this happen and you’re willing to take action to make it happen. Then put this in a visual form – a Pinterest board, a vision board and make declarations daily that make a promise to yourself that you are doing all you can. Put your right hand over your heart and declare, “I am open and ready to receive [the amount of money you want] or something better. Or I like to say to myself, “I am a money magnet.”
So many of my babes dream of running their own businesses, but that requires a certain amount of financial aptitude, which can be really intimidating. What should you do BEFORE you launch?
If you have money fears, they will most likely come up during a launch. This is why it’s so important for you to transform your relationship with money. Are your money fears and beliefs impacting the way you’re running your business?
The first step is to get clear about what your fears or beliefs are about your money-making capabilities. I like to use the Work of Byron Katie to question fears or limiting beliefs. Questioning what you believe is a way to open your mind and find genuine evidence for the opposite of what you fear. It’s my industrial strength approach to busting a money belief or fear.
The second step is to create solid financial goals and a clear revenue plan for your launch. This is where you focus on revenue generating activities and stay away from tasks that are not going to bring in money. This is where I see entrepreneurs making mistakes. We all have to look at our numbers and track revenue and expenses. To be successful with a launch, you must be willing to experiment and take risks. Stay in action and take small steps to expand your comfort zone.
Notice if you spend time during the day worrying. If you find yourself stressed out, stop, drop inside and observe your thoughts. Breathe and don’t resist the fear or stressful thoughts – just notice and allow them to be. Reframe what you’re thinking by making a positive declaration that will help you feel better.
Again you can use the declaration I like to use and put your right hand over your heart and say out loud, “I am a money magnet.” Repeat this for half a minute as often as you can during the day.
I’m seeing a lot of women step into the breadwinner role lately, which is so exciting, but it can feel like unchartered territory! What advice do you have for someone who is earning more than their partner?
First of all let me say that as entrepreneurs, we are pioneers in a new world of work and this has changed the roles of men and women at home and in terms of who is the breadwinner. As more women become entrepreneurs, there are no more glass ceilings. The only glass ceiling is in your mind and that’s why it’s so important to clear your money blocks. You can be the best online marketer in the world but if you have money blocks, it will limit your success.
Think of your relationship as a partnership, regardless of who earns more. It’s in the interest of the relationship that you make decisions from a place of partnership: you are in this together. You want to make financial decisions together. Create a monthly money date just to talk about finances. Both people in the relationship need to know the financial status: what is coming in and going out. Do your best to make joint decisions: decide how much you want to jointly save, create and stick to a budget, decide what bank accounts you need, and how you will pay the bills. If there is tension around talking about finances, then it’s an emotional issue. If you can talk about what you both experienced around money growing up, you may be able to see what your fears are and then you can work on them. This is why it’s important to wake up and get conscious and clear about what you believe about money.
The first thing I recommend you do is to get clear about what money means to you. Keep it simple and come up with one-word meanings. What does money represent? For me, money represents power, independence, and freedom. I learned this when I was 16 years old in my first job. I felt more empowered when I earned my own money. I was free to save or spend because I earned it. It gave me the freedom to make choices that I hadn’t been able to make before.
My husband will retire next year, if I use power (go to the shadow side of power) and begin to make one-sided financial decisions that impact us, then our relationship will suffer. Money is a mirror and how you do money and finances is how you are doing other parts of your life. So if you are not talking about money with your partner, how is that showing up in other areas of your life? I also recommend that couples see a financial planner and understand how much money they need to be saving and building for the future.
When it comes to financial goals, is it more important to come up with a number (i.e. $100k) or a feeling (ease, happiness, freedom)? Can we use both?
One of the biggest reasons why entrepreneurs aren’t making the money they want in their business is because they haven’t set a money goal as a solid intention. In order to make or manifest money, you must first know where you are now financially, and have a clear picture of where you are going in the future.
I ask people in the money class to set a Big Bold Money Goal in the beginning of the course so that they know exactly what they want and then they can make plans to get there. As part of that, I ask them to imagine they are a year out from the class and then I ask them to write down what happened that year as if it already happened. You need to have quarterly goals for making that money. Will you have a product launch, how many potential clients will you need to talk with in your sales pipeline to get clients signed up or how many people will you need in your group program to meet your goals? Then I ask them to write down three feelings they will have when they have accomplished their money goal. Will they feel ease, freedom and happiness? Then put that energy out to the Universe now, and do things to generate those three feelings on a daily basis. Shifting your energy will help you stay out of fear and stress.
First set a realistic financial goal for yourself or your business this year. Then bump it up to the point where you feel nervous. Make this a stretch goal. Don’t allow your mind to ask you “how” you will do this yet. So I want you to do both: set a realistic goal with a clear plan on how you will generate the revenue and identify the feelings and start feeling them now.
Are you ready for a money mindset makeover?
If all this talk about finances made you feel like you’re ready to give up money drama and remove your money blocks, you’re in luck! This is your opportunity to break through your obstacles and make more money. Sign up for the LIVE call on Wednesday, July 16 at 8:30 am PT / 11:30 am ET with Master Coach Sherold Barr here.
It will be awesome, I promise.
Success and nothin’ less,