Throwing A Valentine's Day Party!
[ 8 February 2008 ]
Okay, so last year I wrote a piece on how to celebrate Valentine’s Day properly. No simpering kitten-emblazoned greeting cards, no big box o’ chocolates, just lots of weird, fun suggestions to help you enjoy the day.
This year, I wanted to give you a guide to something a little more complex — throwing a Valentine’s Day party. This article is an excerpt from my digital book, How To Throw A Fantastic Party, which I recently rewrote with lots of gusto! It is a whole new book — page upon page of luscious ideas & tricks to make any soiree the best ever. Head over to the shop to have a peek! (There will be more stuff appearing in the shop soon, too… & if you bought the previous edition, flick me an email & I will send you the new one free of charge!)
A Valentine’s Day party is an excellent way to get all your friends together, buy up way too many red or pink products & have fun. It’s also an excellent antidote to the vulgarity of the holiday, which often makes single & coupled people alike just want to say “Bleah”! Really though, any excuse to get your favourite people together is a good thing, especially if it will help prevent your chronically-single friend from feeling bad about him- or herself.
Sometimes it can be a big job to throw a themed party, so if you can rope one of your enthusiastic & hard-working friends into helping you organise it, so much the better!
Guests
The very first thing is that if you’re going to throw a Valentine’s Day party, you must swear — cross-your-heart-&-hope-to-die style — that you won’t invite any sickeningly cutesy couples. Trust me, the entire world panders to them on the 14th of February, & you don’t need to! There are florists & restauranteurs & soft toy manufacturers falling all over themselves to get their hands on the money of the madly in love. Leave them to it!
The thing is, even if the cutesy couple are your best friends, if they show up at a Valentine’s Day party they will throw off the whole dynamic. The single people will feel bad or resentful, the other couples will be all, “Get a room!”, & you risk a messy debacle which might involve pink-frosted cookies being hurled at the offending unit. You don’t want a food fight, I’m sure. So, you know, encourage them to stay at home & snuggle. If you’re not entirely sure if Jim & Miranda are a cutesy couple, here’s how to tell.
1. Do they call each other “fuzzy wuzzy muffins” or “punkin”?
2. Do they hold hands at all times?
3. Do they speak to one another in cooing, childish voices?
4. Do they insist on constantly plunging the depths of the others’ aesophagus — even at family dinners?
5. Do they only ever go out in public as a duo?
If you think the answer might be a partial “yes” to even ONE of those questions, sorry, they’re not invited. Oh, Jim & Miranda! You’re lovely, but come over for pizza tomorrow or something instead.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. Grab a piece of paper & make a list of prospective attendees. Scribble names but don’t feel obliged to invite all of them — you need to strike a good balance, & some people just aren’t going to make the cut. If, for example, your friend Ken is single & depressed — but is also a single, depressed misanthropist who revels in his misery — you should probably leave him off the list. On the other hand, if your friend Natasha is single & a bit miffed about it, but still has a sense of humour about life, she is definitely invited!
The amount of people you invited will probably depend on the size of your house & (maybe) on how many friends you have, & even then (possibly) on how many of them are socially anxious. Think about your friends & how they operate best. If you mostly hang out with vivacious extroverts, then consider your party one of those “the more the merrier” occasions. But if, like most people, some of your friends are outgoing while some are a bit introverted, keep the numbers on the smaller side.
Try to make it seem even & try to put people at ease. This means: don’t invite your one gay or lesbian friend to a room full of people pining for the opposite sex — or vice versa. Since Valentine’s Day is all about love, lust & things that go grunt in the night, if anyone feels exiled or marginalised, they might not enjoy themselves too much. Encourage them to bring a friend if you think that will help.
Remember to mix it up a little bit too. If your guests all work at the same place & know each other really well, odds are it will just be like another night at the pizza parlour, except with more pink trimmings. Invite new people — people you don’t know very well, people your friends don’t know, the cool old man from the magazine shop, your Grandma, your best friend from high school. Make it exciting!
Invitations
Single people might feel weird coming to a Valentine’s Day party if they think there are going to be people smooching in every slightly dark corner, so you need to pre-empt that fear. After all, no one wants to be the only person in the room with lonely lips. Perhaps it would be a good idea to write “NO KISSING ALLOWED” on the invitation, or maybe just declare it the first unofficial meeting of the Anti-Smooching League. You will know what works best for your friends — swearing is okay, too!
Some people think an invitation should just be a way of giving information. “My place, tomorrow night, BYO” & the like. But really, you know, the world is an exciting place, full of distractions, with thrills at every turn. You need to start thinking of your invitation as an advertisement — an enticement. Otherwise your friends might opt to go bowling instead, heaven forbid. You need to lure them in, fill their heart with joy, ensnare them with intangible rapture! After all, having to get on the phone on the 13th of January & beg people to drink your pink punch & eat your delicious broken-heart shaped cookies would be a sad start.
How you make the invitation is up to you & will probably depend on your proficiencies. Some people are best with a computer, while some are far more into scissors, paper & glue. However, you might like to try one of the following…
Make a cupcake card
Samantha Hahn has lots of beautiful cards, free to print & use!
Hipster Cards has a whole slew of free digital greeting cards. I like You BBQ My Heart!, You’re Just My Cup Of Tea! (NSFW!), I Love Me, Contract With The Devil, Let’s Be Bad!, One Cute Cupcake, Valentine’s Day Sucks, I’m Way Too Excited!, That’s Some Mustache! & Freud Advice
Make everyone a different card, using pictures from magazines & making envelopes from book pages
Buy packaged gummy hearts, write the invitation on the package, & post them off!
Write your invitations on the heart pages of old medical books
Ensure it contains the essential information (what, where, when, & any special instructions — BYO etc., as well as a way to RSVP).
Post or email your invitations & then follow it up. Check to make sure they’re received & see how people feel about the idea. Hopefully you will get a staggering list of RSVPs & you can move forward into the dawn of a new day!
Accoutrements
Of course, jazzing up your digs is essential if you’re going to throw a fabulous party. You can go minimal by just using candles for lighting & moving all the chairs into one room… OR you can go for maximum impact. I think that if you’re going to throw a Valentine’s Day party, the best direction to head in is Camp As Hell. Do it up! Go nuts! Here are some ideas…
Play kitsch love movies on the television — with the sound off, please. Best picks include But I’m A Cheerleader, 10 Things I Hate About You, True Romance & Grease.
Fill heart-shaped pink & red balloons with helium & let them float up to the ceiling. If they have long ribbon tails on them, this can make for a cool impromptu curtain of sorts.
Serve pink or red food! Cupcakes are an obvious choice — who doesn’t want to eat something super-sugary-sweet on Valentine’s Day? Chocolate cupcakes with raspberry icing or pistachio cupcakes with pink rosewater icing would be fabulous & on theme! If all the pink & red is too much for you, you can always just make chocolate cupcakes with heart-shaped sprinkles or candy on the top, or you could use a little stencil to dust icing sugar on in the shape of a heart. Other options for food include conversation heart candy, red M&Ms, chocolate-dipped strawberries, raspberries, black forest gateau, pink or red popsicles, slices of watermelon or strawberry tarts.
Serve pink or red drinks, too! A big bowl of punch, a few stellar bottles of red wine or someone on Cosmopolitan duty should do it, but if you want to pick something outrageous & cool, Drinkalizer has a list of red & pink cocktails!
Stock up on candles & keep the lighting dim. If you’re going to use a scented candle, make it good quality (as Lil Kim says, “Spend a little dough”), & only use one that is scented. Make sure the rest are plain, otherwise your house will be a menagerie of different smells & your guests’ nostrils will flare with discontent. Ensure the candles are away from soft furnishings & the edges of things where they are likely to be bumped, & make sure your fire alarm has good batteries!
Decorate tables & benches with lace tablecloths, doilies & heart-shaped confetti. You can also find really great decorations at party shops, like banners & hanging hearts on clear fishing line.
If you want to incorporate games & activities into the evening, you might like to try Pin The Ache On The Heart (it’s like Pin The Tail On The Donkey for adults), throwing darts at a heart-shaped dartboard, reading one another’s palms & predicting future love affairs, Pass The Parcel with naughty treats, Spin The Bottle or that crazy x Minutes In Heaven game, where you & someone else get locked in a cupboard.
Extra impact
Set up a photobooth where your guests can pose together or alone with props. Chuck your digital camera on a tripod, aim it at a wall & post directions so that people know how to use the timer or remote. To make it extra Valentinesy, hang some sparkly or striped red or pink fabric so that it will make a festive backdrop. Make sure to send people their photos the next day! Another option is to use a Polaroid camera instead, & have a table nearby where people can decorate the Polaroids once they’re dry. Set out glitter, markers & stickers & let people go nuts!
Make your guests little goodie bags! Everyone loves free stuff. You can put in things like heart-shaped sweets, love-themed fortunes, lucky love amulets, inflatable dolls & other strange treats. If you need somewhere to start, Oriental Trading has hoards of fun heart-shaped novelties.
Take turns reading from How To Spot A Bastard By His Star Sign. Allow time for commiseration & discussion of the book’s contents.
While it is always tempting to play love songs — or anti-love songs — at a party like this, fight the urge. Most love songs are a bit pukesome & the majority of anti-love songs are just depressing, so abstain from both. Instead, continue the kitsch theme & play things that people will want to dance to after they’ve had a few drinks — like Kylie Minogue & Justin Timberlake!
Best of luck!
Love letters & feather headdresses,
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im in one of those sickeningly cutesy couples that won’t be invited along to the fabulous single girl parties ;) for once in my life. i will still, however, choose to eat awesome vday cupcakes!
if you’re a pancake making master (such as i) you can add a few drops of red food dye to the batter and turn it pink or red, depending on how much you put it. cook it like normal and each side will turn golden brown as usual but the inside will be pink. fun right?! : )
i hate valentines day. im a valentines day grinch. i dont even have any friends here to throw a fun party! i think i will order chinese and buy some wine and rent bridget jones diary for the night. hehe. very well written article though gala! im a slacker and still haven’t bought your last e-book. i’ll get on to that on my next pay day! hee!
xxx
Ha ha, cutesy couples, I just had to spend a month away with one and it is so antisocial and sickening for everyone around!!! Once again you have hit the nail on the head! Xxxx
I guess I won’t be invited to the party either :( but I can have lots of fun with my significant other as well, after all is Valentine’s Day! :P
Thank you for the link to our site! What a nice website you have here!
Angie
Aw, but I call the missus “Pumpkin”. Or “Flumpy” if I’m annoyed. Or “Ass-ham” if I’m angry. Anyway, we don’t do Valentine’s, seeing as it’s his birthday on the 15th – I shall be smothering him in cupcakes and my worlde famouse cheesecake! Hmm, and to add to the anti-Valentineness of it all, his birthday party would most likely be a LARPer-LAN party… Très romantique!
http://www.avclub.com/content/savagelove
Read Savage Love aloud! Probably one of my favourite things to do with my girlfriends.
Oh my God, Gala, that photobooth idea is the greatest thing I have ever heard of! Talk about spicing a party up!!
I need to have a party just so I can have a photobooth!
dear gala,
any chance you have a recipe for a cupcake like the picture’s?
or where I could find one similar or good vday cupcake recipe?
i want something basic, classic-ish.
thanks a lot!
infinite x’s & o’s!
wing commander bell — I put my basic cupcake recipe up here: http://galadarling.com/article/cupcakes-gala-style Hope it helps!
Ok Gala you have truly outdone yourself with creativity and cuteness. Yes, I am one of those lucky people (like you) in a loved up relationship (actually celebrating our 2 years together tonight!) but how could anybody resist an excuse to make delicious sugary treats, giggle at Grease, and sticker-fy polaroid pictures! You are so full of originality and fun, all of these ideas are too inspiring and exciting!
Is there any way to purchase your party book in hard copy? Even if you print it out onto paper for me and I sent you a 20 in the mail?
iris — Hmm! My printer is terrible & insanely slow, so it would involve me going to an internet cafe or something equally weird… but you could always buy it & print it off at work or something?!
Such god ideas, I’ve never heard of a Valentine’s party like that before.
Yep, looking forward to throw one jeje.
Kisses.
How to spot a bastard by his star sign is such a good book :) Except I fear it has made me very jaded to any guy of any sign.
Wish I could have a valentines day party, but my house is too small and all my friends are either valentines day cynics or lovey dovey couples. So instead a platonic guy friend and I are going to head to our local posh tavern and make fun of everyone gushing and write lists of 100 reasons why it is better to be single based on the people around us’ actions.
I’m going to make pink and lavendar mini-meringues and wrap them up in heart-dotted cellophane and leave them in my friends’ mailboxes as a surprise :) Maybe I’ll include invitations to an all-single-girls Valentine’s Party! Great article!
I’m so excited for more things to show up in your shop!
My friends and I are going candy-shopping on February 15th instead of a party, but once we start making more money…!
aw i really liked this whole article except for the cutesy couple part. while i totally understand what you’re saying, i would not want to be excluded from a best friend’s party just because i have a boyfriend! especially because my boyfriend and me have all the same friends, so it would just be us not invited. sure, my boyfriend and me could spend it alone but how fun is that if we know all our friends are having a blast and we weren’t even invited?!
and what if i was the one throwing the party? would i have to exclude my boyfriend? that’s awful! some of us cutesy couples CAN handle ourselves for parties :)
thnx a lot darling!
Sorry to comment on an out of place entry…. but once I think I saw a pair of rad gloves/wristlets/gauntlets on your website… it was a bit ago. They were black, leather, very dressy (not sporty or casual) and were quite expensive (which is why I never saved the link). They were fingerless or more like gaultlets/wrist cuffs than gloves. I’d love to have a link to the mfg now, if not the exact gloves… but I can’t find them. I’ve tried searching through your archives, even via google, but haven’t turned anything up.
If this happens to ring a bell with you, would you reply with a link to the post?
Thanks so much!
Michele
Yay!
what awesome ideas! I was toying with the idea of doing this but wasn’t quite sure or gutsy enough to go through with it!
you must be a fabulous hostess! your passion, ingenuity and enthusiasm comes through in spades in this article.
seeing already the protests above,
I love that you’ve turned being single on valentines days into being the de jour thing! how unexpected.lol.
xxoo
this was a super fun idea! those hipster cards are amusing
sarah frost — If you can handle yourself, of course, that’s cool! It’s just those couples who can’t that are obviously excluded :D I am in a cutesy couple too, but we know how to behave ;D There’s no point in throwing a party if everyone else is going to feel bad because of the lovebirds who can’t keep their tongues in their mouths!
Michele — The only thing I can think that might be is this! http://galadarling.com/article/fashion-report-springsummer-200708
Otherwise, I’m sorry, I’m at a loss!
I just wanted to say thanks for the copy of How To Throw A Fantastic Party, it’s an awesome book :)
It´s very funny that you had same idea, but mine is a little different. I´m throwing an ANTI-Valentinsparty for all single people who hate to be reminded every year that they´re alone. It´ll be fun! :)
this is such a fun article, filled with awesome ideas!
Great timing, I’m putting together an Anti-Valentines day party with close friends first a restaurant, ice cream cake shaped as a heart and then a movie.
But now I have more ideas, thank you!
What’s all this talk about ‘single and depressed’ or ‘single and miffed about it’?? Not everyone who is single is pining to be in a relationship. Some of us are quite happy being single!
I loathe VD day with a passion, but I always take the opportunity to buy myself a big bunch of flowers on that day. I don’t need to worry about whether anyone else is going to give me a Valentine, because I’ve already given myself one! And the florists do the best arrangements on VD day anyway. :D
hmm, nice val gift …..
cool hah