Your Most Fabulous Self
[ 9 July 2008 ]
I was thinking about this yesterday…
What would you say are the attributes of your most fabulous self? How do you behave when you are being your absolute cutest, most clever, witty, sparkly, excitable, flirt-tastic, ambitious, well-dressed, best ever incarnation of you?
Ruminate on that for a little bit!
Now. What is stopping you from being your most fabulous self all the time?
What I mean is, what behaviours do you indulge in which don’t serve you? What is harming you more than helping you?
While it may not seem like it at first glance, our behaviour is always a choice. If you’ve had enough of repeating the same old patterns, maybe it’s time to stop.
My secret hint of the day? Altering your life is not difficult. Just choose to be conscious of your behaviour, & self-correct when you see yourself acting in a way you don’t like.
See? Not so hard. You just have to want to do it! & if nothing else, I have utmost faith in you…
Love letters & feather headdresses,
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oh my goodness hair envy!!
that’s a really interesting thought, i’m going to have to think about it a bit more though!
This sounds like an Eckhart Tolle question… ;D
gen — It’s cool, huh?!
Birdie! — Good! Haha. I think it’s important to think about. So often we make excuses for ourselves or our behaviour, & it’s total rubbish. Personal responsibility, yo!
oh gala, you are such a doll. I really needed this today. I’m so happy this is the first thing I read this morning.
xox
i looooove this! ive been doing a lot of thinking on this subject lately. i have been so unhappy and self deprecating the last 6 months and im going to change it. in fact id like to start a blog on it! and u galadarling inspired me!
btw have u read or seen anything on that whole “power of persuasive thinking” thing? where u think and imagine what u want and the universe will give it to you.. i mean we have to do for ourselves but its a very interesting subject.
-love!
You really are right about how just making a conscious decision to change is all you need to do. However, it’s always trying to stick to that decision. It’s hard to be mentally aware at all times to change. Yet that could be me just making an excuse! I have found that in the past, all I needed to become a different person was to DECIDE to be a different, better person. That is how we grow.
“Our behaviour is always a choice.”
Love that! Thanks for the encouragement. There’s such a fear to change, but I agree – take responsibility and make the changes to become your most fabulous self. If you won’t, no one else will do it for you!
danni — Yes ma’am! It’s usually referred to as the law of attraction. I have known about it forever, it was kind of something my parents taught me, but not something I used consciously until a couple of years ago. Sometimes I think my life is a testament to the fact that it works… !
Ashley — Amen! & sometimes making that decision can be hard, because we identify with this or that behaviour, whether that’s “I’m a smoker” or “I’m cynical” or whatever. Shrugging off a label, especially a self-imposed one, can be scary because then we’re left with that question of “If I’m not _____, then what am I?”. Redefining ourselves can be a bit of a leap of faith, often it seems easier to just stay the way we are — even if it’s not working!
Lesley Denford — Too true, little lady… too true!
Wow, you are just great. =]
My dad has a similar mantra.
I think I’ll stop being bitchy when people are bitchy about me, I don’t have to stoop to their level.
I was so immensely happy yesterday in my Prom with all my friends so I’m going to try and remember how I felt and acted yesterday and just be like that all the time.
Thank you gala
P.S I dreamt you came to visit me from NY a few nights ago. Don’t really remember anything else about it though lol. Sorry if that sounded weird
Thank you so much for this article, Gala! Before I read it, I felt like I was about to be smothered under my always-procrastinated summer assignment. I hereby toss out my itchy old robes of procrastination and torment, vowing to become my clever, hardworking self. If I can just knock out this assignment, I will be free to dazzle everyone around me.
hullo!
i’m generally very cynical and negative (much to my man’s distain!). however, i’ve recently tried to change this with a lot more positive thinking and just recognising how lucky i am in life. i definitely believe in taking charge of my own happiness and destiny and by planning my future and my goals i’ve become more positive.
self-improvement is the way forward for me!! i’d rather reflect back on my life as happy times, than negative stroppy times!!
i just want to be fabulous. :D
I Like!!! Who made you so wise… and will you please never stop making yourself, your fabulous self, heard!
Though I do agree with Ashley that these simple “tasks” can be sooo unbelievably hard. But it’s fun to look at yourself like this, like you are this fun project that you can experiment with and redefine as you see fit. Makes every day a party (or at least interesting ;) )
you know, gala, it’s funny – i’ve had all number of therapists, doctors, family members, concerned teachers and so on tell me this kind of thing for such a long time, and it’s just like ‘yeah, easy for you to say.’ but somehow when i read it on here and i’ve been feeling low and in a bad mood and too disgruntled with life to do anything, i sit up and think ‘yeah, she’s right. stop wallowing in your self-pity and do something to make yourself feel better!’
thus, i turned off placebo (ha!) and put on some justice, and i’m going to have a lovely luxurious bubble bath. hooray!
xxx
This is exactly what I needed at this moment in my life. Thank you so much.
Thanks for that.
I’m one of those people who tend to fall back on the egotistical idea of “Oh, well, it’s my destiny” or “Things happen for a reason”, which leads me to procrastinate on becoming the person I really want to be.
Thanks for this, Gala!
Of course, I’ve been thinking about this lately. My best self is when I get goofy and I don’t think about how I should act, and I stop being so stoic and unapproachable.
One night I was in Walgreens and it was pretty late. I was in this goofy mood and wandering the store, singing along to the music they play over the speakers. I found a pink blanket that was adorable and soft and took it to the cash register to ask for the price, since it wasn’t posted. I was a giggly and smiley, and I could immediately tell that the dude cashier was all about me. And I knew it was from how I was acting.
Hell, I’m into me hardcore when I’m like that. Yet it happens so rarely. Normally I walk around stores with a frown and an objective. Now I really want to try to be fun and goofy and silly all the time. Because that is definitely my best self. And I can make friends that way. Because when I’m in that mode, I’m fearless.
Ah Thank you! This helps me with my current situation so much. I didn’t even realize it till now.
Thanks Gala!
I’m starting right now!
Thanks, love. xo
it’s really great you’ve posted this, i needed a reminder… i’ve had gone through some really intense things in the past, and this was one of the things that had really helped, choosing my thoughts, my internal dialog.
while your advice is simple, it’s not easy. habits are very hard to break, internal dialog is very hard to change, and they take time and diligence. i mean, at least for me it did, but i could be a lot slower than others.
but that’s where the beauty in life lies, progress takes time for a reason, because more often than not it’s not the desired change that’s most important, but all the things learned along the way that makes life so amazing.
what a great reminder.
you are amazing! thank you for being here to spread your wisdom and sparkly energy daily!
I am also really glad this was the first thing I read today!!!
My best friend and I were in a big argument yesterday except he was the only one arguing for some reason when I am in certain situations it’s hard for me to talk or stand up for myself. I’m going to take this into consideration and try to help myself be a bit more bold!!!
Thanx so much.
I love you Gala.
Your words of wisdom really strike a chord of me and are changing my life as we speak.
As we speak I’m working consciously on making myself better, making myself who I want to be, not hiding in fear of what others think.
As we speak I’m working on being more assertive, being more confident, being more optimistic and gossiping less. Being my own fabulous, sparkling self
And it’s all because of you Gala, thank you so much. And this little reminder reminded me what it’s all for
:) thanks. I’ve found that I tend to treat the people I care most like crap. I mean, not crap..but not as I should. It happens with my mom, my siblings, my boyfriend, and some of my friends, and I realized that is not something new! I think I lost one of my best friends because of it, and it sucks, specially when I realize I’m doing it to my boyfriend or my mom :(
Your articles always pop out when I need them :) you’re soo awesome kiss kiss
Great post, Gala! I was travelling between cities on the bus, and I had a bit of an epiphany along the same lines as this… I decided that I was happy at that moment and that I could be happy all the time if I chose to.
Lady Coveted was talking about inner dialogue; I’ve been working really hard at changing mine. Before, if I did something or behaved in a way I didn’t like i would tell myself off in my mind, but really negatively. Not I make an effort to keep my inner dialogue positive, and most of the time I manage to be constructively cricital of myself, instead of just putting myself down. It’s hard because thoughts are sometimes such an unconscious thing, you’ll think something without even realizing it… But it’s doable if you really want it.
Hi Gala! I just have to gush on how much I love this site. It’s the first thing I click on in my bloglines when you’re updated : )
I have to say that I am in the middle of changing a few things. The biggest being that I am no longer drinking. This from a daily! lover of wine in particular. BUT. I was drinking too much, not getting stuff done (like starting my new business!) As much as I enjoyed it, and yes, depended on it, I came to the realization that it wasn’t working for me. So I changed it. That is how I’m looking at it. It’s not disease, nor is it something that has happened to me, I hate that way of looking at it. It’s a choice that I made to make me happy with me. And it’s great so far! I’m getting used to my normal moods again, no wine induced happy endings to everyday : ) and it’s interesting. To say the least. And not easy, but it’s ok. : )
So, looooong story short. If you’re not happy with something, change it. What’ve you got to lose?
Such sound advice, but sometimes so hard to implement! I often feel like other people may be preventing me from showing my best self. But this is a great reminder that I’m the only one controlling my world, and I can create ways to show my happiest, funniest, most creative and generous self at all times … even in the face of negativity from outside forces! Thanks, as always, for my daily dose of life-affirming guidance, lady. ;)
Amen Lady Coveted. Change is not easy. Tearing down years of habits and negative self talk takes time. I love the intentions of things like the Secret and Power of Persuasion. But I think that some folks think it is this magical practice.
I have a problem with anyone or any book that believes that nothing but positive thoughts will get you want you want, including overcoming illnesses. That’s a crock. Positive thoughts allow you to be open to recognizing blessings as they come and continuing to be on the look out for positive paths. It’s just awareness, not a magic cure.
Even our lovely Gala did not reach her fullest potential on a wish alone. She worked for it and followed her life’s passion. When you follow your right path, doors open.
I had actually been thinking about this a lot lately, and i have changed. It helped me take off my safety blanket of my life. I dont have to hid behind certain behaviors anymore, like for instance i used to always wear black eyeliner and i woulndt leave the house without it. I wore its once in 2 weeks now.
So, thanks for sharing something that can help people be better versions of themselves. :)
Umm scary right on time thing happening again Gala! I just started working on this the other day, ACK!
wow…this is so weird, this is the advice I needed right now…thank you
Oh, I do this very regularly. I think about days where I really shined and how I did. I have friends who make me feel particularly fantastic and I find that the more time I spend with them, the better I am overall at being awesome.
And I no longer bother with the people I never feel all that good around anyway because it wastes time.
Fantastic advice, as always Gala. Keep being your fabulous self!
PMS, for one thing! ;D lol…Whenever I catch myself feeling rotten I try to put on a happy attitude, because no one wants to be around a grump. It’s a drag, who needs it?
People often make the mistake of complaining because they can’t think of anything else to talk about, and it’s no fun. I pinched myself out of that habit back when I was a teenager.
But I’m not perfect! I have my brooding moments. :]
wow! this really hits close to home.. i am working on this right now! i have to catch myself every time but i am hoping before long it wont even be something i have to catch at all!
I had the most AMASING dream last night. it was incredibale, then this morning i came downsatirs and listened to a few songs that blew my mind whislt i was thinking about this dream, and i was like…so inspired, off my face on excitment because i had thouse flutters of inpsiration and myself back.
Thanks Gala! While it seems many of us already believe in this way of life (me included) we all need reminding sometimes.
Lately, especially at work, I’ll forget my manners and can get a bit disrespectful in the heat of a moment. It’s not usually till it’s all been said and done that I realise what I’ve just said and regret it immensely.
I don’t like that person, when I’m that person I sound mean and childish. I just need to remember to be present ALL the time.
When your positive you attract positiveness :D this is true for everyone
This is the best article in awhile!
I will be spending the rest of my week thinking over this one.
Ahh, that is a gooood question, and one I think I started to answer today! :D
“Altering your life is not difficult.”
Great post, and if it is difficult or a challenge to change your lives (others not Gala cos obviously you are living your dreams!) – you should break it down into itty bitty little chunks and set to work on them :) Easy.
my best self:
is natural, positive, spontaneous, energetic, Happy, busy, challenged, fit, healthy,
things in the way:
negative thinking, being selfconscious, caring what other people think, being anti social, doing things i dont have passion for, isolating myself, eating crap, not exercising, not listening to my intuition, not challenging myself,being skeptical & mistrusting & not learning new things/opening myself up to inspiration/meeting new people…
very inspired post gala! xxooo
I ahve been mulling over a similar ideal myself, trying to figure out how I could get off my lazy arse and make myself and my life what I want it to be…
Sometimes though you need someone to point it out to you. This is probably the most perfect timing for you to stand up and point this out to me…
Thank you so so much. I am going to conciously monitor myself now and any negative behaviour can git!
Thanks again Super Gala!!
Cheers
Sx.
Thank you. :)
If dressed wonderfully…
(Or just happy) I can be exceptionally charming.
Though I have to watch my self. I can turn into a cynic bitch if a bit spiky about certain things.
Good article Gala!
xx
Brianna > your so right, what do we have to lose? but to really understand that it took a while for me. I was always so focused about the people i cared about and i was afraid of losing their intrest but then i got away from them all and i finally realised i can do without them. I feel happy for you that you made your change!
Change is not easy, recognizing patterns and breaking them is a tough job but my first steps are already made. To realize that i’m able to make a change was already a big step for me. I mean if your used of your own behaviours then its sometimes hard to see to imagine that their is also an alternative way. Anyhows i have been changing my life, step by step for a few months now. Some choices have been heartbreaking but for the best, making me feel my happy fabulous self again. I’m a true believer of living your own legends, open your heart and you will be amazed about the doors you opened.
I’m going to read all comments on this post :) Its such an inspiring subject Gala. I love the way your fashion is to write about the things we nonpareil wonder about.
Hi, new here & I love the site. This is a wonderful article & I think it may be the reason I rocked everything I did today. I had the confidence to know I’m a fabulous person & to hell with the people who don’t see that. Lovely. ♥
oh, you linked a site once, and it had a quote up that went:
“Thoughts become actions.
Actions become habits.
Habits become character.
Character becomes your destiny.”
Lao Tzu, I think? Some wise man from centuries ago, at any rate. It goes well this post, non? :)
Thank you. I don’t think there’s a time I’ve ever been more in need of this particular viewpoint. I keep thinking I can’t do it, but you’re right. Our behaviours are self-driven and I just need to start taking a more logical approach to my own behaviour. I look forward to thinking about it and being able to declare with resolution, commitment and victory that I have done. And I’m going to make certain that it takes me less than twenty-four hours from now.
What can I say? If there’s one thing to get bolshy over, it should be myself, no?
I’m off to college in just a month (holy crap) and this is exactly the burst of turbo confidence superfuel to remind me to shed everything and anything I place around myself before I get there.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Gala.
ps. also, inspired by you, I’ve worked up to about 50-75% raw (though not all vegan) and feel FANTASTIC. So another round of thankyous to you :]
The only real problem I have with myself, is my tendency to self indulge. If I don’t feel like leaving the house and doing what I have too, I wont. If I feel like eating half a tub of icecream, I will. If I want to sleep all day, I will. I am currently unemployed, and find it easy to slip into these self indulgent habits, which I am now trying to correct without much luck.
But on my good days, I am a cute and charming, hillariously funny with a touch of dorkiness, protective and caring, I’m unpredicatble in a suprisingly good way ( ie. I listen to punk music and play air guitar while baking cookies) and I worry about all the people I love far too much when I know that they’re going to be just fine.
The only thing that is stopping me from being my most fabulous self, is the self indulgent behaviour, my lack of motivation, my feeling that I shouldn’t even try because it hasn’t helped so far, and the fear that this is all my life will ever be.
It needs to change. Definitley. I’d love to be my most fabulous self all the time, I’m so much happier when I’m that person and the only thing this current, negative person makes me feel, is sorry for myself.
I absolutely love your blog!!
must…be…fabulous…self…no…excuses…
hehehe i’m sick so staying at home today
will definitely ruminate!!!!
thanks gala!
love this! so great to see iCiNG heading back in this self-improvement/fulfilment/love yourself path again.
I find these articles most fulfilling for those of us (me) that feel they can never afford delicious shoes, dresses & coats …
I have started to learn recently that the pleasures in life are the sunshine in the morning, seeing my boy’s face every day, my family and the few great friends that I have.
TILT really proves that this is true for everyone, and articles like this & the simplest pleasures in life really are the best!
Thankyou Gala!
Wow, Gala, this comes at a puurrrfect time for me! This is tly what I’m working on at the moment! I have successfully identified what is brilliant about me & now I’m working on letting it shine.
I even carry a little crystal around in my pocket to remind myself to take risks, push myself, not hold back, etc. All which results in a happy, friend-making, Ayesha! Woot!
& now i think i will bookmark this article & read it whenever I’m feeling like I’m holding myself back.
Thank-you so much Gala!
Whoops, I meant ‘exactly’, not ‘tly’. Sorry!
i have been checking iCiNG daily to keep my mind full of positive, uplifting thoughts and free of clutter.
thank you for these articles the last few weeks, feels like old times :D
xo.
Hmm… what is it about myself that I do not like? Well…when I spot something about myself I do not like example becoming too self conscious over what someone said about me or what someone said about a close friend of mine etc.
I would usually just get over it. At that point when I am feeling self conscious it is usually a momentary thing not something I brood over for years. So well…I am always changing myself to evolve into something better and if I feel negative over something I get over it quickly as well. I don’t how it happens but I just do not keep stock of negative things that occur in my life.
That is NOT to say nothing bad has ever happened to me. Lots of shit happens just that I do not let it overwhelm me. Keeping a positive outlook on life makes me project my best self to the world :)
dear gala,
i was just bicycling in the park and thinking about the very same idea: i am the one in control of how i act, and if my actions don’t please me, i’m the one who can change them.
thank you very much for being so good at articulating important things like this. i admire you a lot.
Hi Gala – this is really thought provoking. And instead of encouraging us to pull ourselves to bits totally, you are saying we should look at the best bits then kick out anything that doesn’t fit. Great idea – I’ll be making my list later.
It is easy to be cynical about this way of thinking. As a negative thinker its so simple to just keep finding excuses and to wallow in self doubt. However as Brianna and Amika say, what have you got to lose? I find questions like that can really snap you out of negative thinking. If you think your life is so bad, or that you are a bad person, what have you got to lose in at least trying a new approach?
Excellent article Gala!
Gala, I’m new to your blog but I just wanted to let you know that this post really changed everything for me. It gave me the final push I needed to finally change things up in my life. So..thanks! :)
Misha — I am thrilled for you! Congratulations, gorgeous!
“Shrugging off a label, especially a self-imposed one, can be scary because then we’re left with that question of “If I’m not _____, then what am I?”.”
I have been struggling with just that this year.Going away to college was the first time I wasn’t involved in any school sports or band and it has really made me wonder about my own labels.I always call myself an athlete but now that I don’t play for a team any more I wonder about calling myself that.And if not,then what? Having a label pinned on you can be bad,but it also helps me know more about myself.
Seriously. this is the kick in the booty that we all need from time to time. i often think that I am my own worst enemy because I am the one that holds myself down or I prevent my own self from doing something.
thanks so much for this, it’s honestly exactly what i needed to read right now. much love, miss gala!
That girly is a stunner…her hair and piercings are MAJOR love.
Okay so I read this a while ago but didn’t really get it..but I do now..I really really do! And I’m totally channeling it. Being a fellow Virgo I have made a beloved list of FABULOUS things to be and NOT SO FABULOUS things to be. Now to plot and work on that..mwahaha!
Whenever I’m feeling blue, it’s always easy to feel really bad and sorry for yourself, but then you have to remember that there will ALWAYS be someone having a worse time than you, and rather than wallowing around in self pity you should do something about it. Count your blessings!
=)