Zee 'Air Down There
[ 13 June 2007 ]
“Dear Gala,I have a question that I often throw around and debate with people, and would like to know your perspective on it (being the fashionista that you are!). In today’s modern society where image, especially body image, is emphasised and sex seems to be very liberal – what is the stance on pubic hair in modern society? Is it expected to be more on the bald side these days, or can you still look like a wookie ‘down there’ and be seen as attractive? What is seen as ‘good hygiene’ in the way of pubes? I’m often intrigued as to whether there is an official-like social stance on the matter. Especially since the rise in trend of getting a landing strip, brazillian or, if male, the more daring crack sack and back wax. Is it a conditioning and construction of society, or a natural progress of the sexual revolution?
Should society be proudly bald, taking away a visualisation of adulthood, or should we proudly be growing a chia pet between our legs? And do you think porn has influenced the stigma of having pubic hair?”
Well! Here we go then, eh?
History lesson, ahem!
“Waxing of the genital areas has been prevalent in many societies around the world for centuries, in Ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt but especially in arid or desert, predominantly Muslim and Arab countries. Arab, Turkish, and Persian women as well as women from the Albanian culture and Mediterranean regions have for centuries been waxing in the genital areas. The waxes used were often sugar-based and made with lemon; however present variations include oils and scents to lessen the discomfort. The reasons for genital waxing in these regions have not necessarily been for cosmetic reasons throughout history, as it is in the case of North and South America as well as Europe, but instead these cultures mentioned above have generally practiced waxing for centuries more for reasons of personal hygiene and/or religion. As a result, in many of these cultures, body hair of any sort on women is considered socially unacceptable. However, waxing the genital area completely is relatively new to modern Western cultures, developing mostly in the 20th century. In the United States, for example, the habit of waxing or even shaving the pubic area did not become common place until the 1960s.
The Brazilian wax originated in Brazil for women wanting to wear the then-new thong bikinis, which was not widely popular inside the United States at the time. Brazilian waxing gained huge popularity through the late 1980s & has boomed in the last couple of years in the US. Legend has it that the J.Sisters beauty salon in New York has helped spread the name out.“
From Wikipedia.
In reference to the original question, I don’t know if the argument is as simple as “taking away a visualisation of adulthood”. There are lots of other aspects of adulthood — such as mortgages, 5 screaming children & saggy bottoms — which in the past we were expected to just accept & deal with. These days, we are free to deny, embrace or alter these conditions as we see fit. The Brazilian falls into the latter category. It’s a cosmetic thrill & enhances your look just like having your eyebrows shaped does. Why only take care of SOME parts of your anatomy & neglect others?
I know that a few years ago, when the Brazilian craze hit, there were a great many women who were worried that removing their pubic hair would suddenly turn their husbands into child molesters or pedophiles… or something. The logic in this argument is interesting, to say the least, but I don’t think that going bald is going to turn dear hubby into Gary Glitter.
Pubic hair might make you look like an “adult”, but quite frankly, so do breasts & thighs. Hair that (quite frankly) obscures the clitoris serves no purpose, so why not whip it off? It heightens sensitivity, looks superb (in my opinion) & will give yo’ lover a thrill.
“That’s the thing about the Brazilian. It makes you do crazy things. You have to be very careful who you invite to Brazil.” — Samantha Jones
Now, I’m not going to kid you. Brazilian waxing hurts. It is an ordeal. Every time I get one, I swear I will never go back… & yet. Shaving is such a hassle: growing it back is ugly & irritating & it requires constant work (exfoliating or re-shaving). Waxing is also fairly expensive, but then, you would have to pay me a fair chunk of change to be attending to women’s hairy, secret parts all day long too. The good thing is that once you have it done, it lasts a long time — 4 to 6 weeks.
“I got mugged! She took everything I got!” — Carrie Bradshaw
Maybe it’s just the generation I’m from, but I am keen on hair removal. I tweeze my eyebrows at least every couple of days; I even shave my arms. This kind of obsession extends to more intimate areas, too. Here are my personal preferences.
On women, I think a ‘Hollywood’ or ‘Sphynx‘ Brazilian (totally bald) or a landing strip Brazilian (a line of hair down the front) is the way to go, whether you shave or wax to get it that way. If you simply cannot be bothered with all the maintenance this style requires, then you need to at least trim. I really don’t think there’s any excuse (or reason) for anyone to be completely wild in that area anymore. I actually tend to think that most women (of my generation at least) all have some kind of pubic upkeep routine, & you’d be in the minority if you just let it grow. Most of the women I know go completely bald — it seems strange to me to just neglect the area, almost backward. I feel that as liberated, sexually-active women, there is almost a responsibility to “put it out there”, be familiar with & proud of our genitals. Is it just me?
I think all men should trim. Not to do so is just discourteous. Shaving or waxing is perhaps a little bit extreme — I don’t personally think it enhances the aesthetics of the area, so, you know. Save yourself an hour. It’s not like anything anybody needs is going to be hidden away, unless perhaps you’re 80 & have never touched your, um, thicket! Just a little upkeep is nice!
I did some research (*moustache wiggle*) & I really couldn’t find anything referencing pubic hair “trends” that had been written more recently than about 2004. A shame, really, since I’d like to know what the recent style is. In the early 2000s, suddenly Brazilian waxing was a hot topic, & every print publication featured humorous anecdotal pieces about visits to strange Russian sadists brandishing tubs of wax & small paper underwear. After that stage, though, there is nothing, zip, nada — somewhat like a full Brazilian itself — to be found on recent trends in pubic hair grooming. For all I know, women in Germany are flocking to Matilda in Baden-Baden who will shave a maze into your crotch.
I thought about calling some beauty salons to ask them what’s popular these days, but that’s only really going to tell you what the pubic scene is like in Melbourne — not hugely useful. Then I thought, hey! I have an international audience of astute, independent thinkers! Maybe I should ask them!
So, is anyone game to talk about their, uh, pubic preferences?!
Extra For Experts
“261 People Want To Do This… get a Brazilian wax“ — with anecdotes & all. I particularly like this comment: “I am determined to do this, both for me and my boyfriend, also because I am having a baby soon and if I don’t I’m worried they won’t be able to see the baby as it’s coming out!!”
Nerve.com interview with a Brazilian waxer. Her tips? Drink two glasses of vodka beforehand, & ensure you’re clean first! (Arrrghhh!)
Some Like It Trimmed, from WebMD.
Tips from a Brazilian waxer, thanks to Yes But No But Yes.
This is hilariously badly-written, maybe by someone from Belarus (after the recommended two glasses of vodka)? “You are welcome to join the club of pubic hair shaving.” Well, thank you very much!
Love letters & feather headdresses,
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Most of my friends and I shave it completely off.
I shave because I’m afraid of getting herpes or something from an unsanitary waxer. There was already a big scandal around here involving a foot rot/ fungus or something that a bunch of people contracted from a local nail salon that didn’t clean it’s equipment.
Plus waxing’s too expensive.
I disagree that not trimming or anything means you have sexuality issues. I refused to shave for years because I just couldn’t be bothered. As I got older I decided I’d try it & haven’t looked back, although it is a chore sometimes.
Oh, ew. Yes, it’s important to go to a good waxer where they don’t “double dip”. It is expensive, I agree, normally I just get waxed if I’m going on holiday or something & don’t want to have to think about it.
I changed the sexuality paragraph because I didn’t think it was phrased very well. I just think that it’s important for women to be on ‘good terms’ with their private parts & I don’t know, I think shaving or waxing it is a good way to step that process forward.
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing. aspx?id=104218314
sounds good, but im guessing it’s just like nads
I would NOT be keen to try it at home! I tried waxing my legs with one of those microwaveable kits once, never again! The wax went everywhere & it was patchy & terrible.
well, i’m a trimmer. i have never had a wax “down there.” i do keep a neat patch though- i use depilatory cream on the bikini line and trim the rest with scissors.
but my reasons for not going the whole wax (aside from money/pain) are feminist. i know, i know, it doesn’t mean you’re not a feminist if you get a wax, but for me, i don’t believe in doing something like that just for a man. i have no problem with my own sexuality, or my ‘bits’- i consider myself quite liberated sexually. it’s just that i don’t believe in doing something like that to my body for someone else, and i don’t find it aesthetically pleasing on any woman (in pictures) i’ve seen.
so there’s my story!
Interesting answer there sweets! Thanks for tackling the questions thrown at you, it’s good to get other perspectives on the matter :P
As for preference, I’ll say in all honestly it depends how lazy I’m feeling. Especially during winter when even the legs stay fuzzy for extra warmth. And whether or not the other half’s libido is active or not. Sometimes it can be worth avoiding the hassle if the area is not going to be, erm, optimized.
I don’t know if I agree about not having a grooming routine means you have sexuality issues. I’d say the opposite in fact, since it’d be more defiant not to be waxed/shaved these days I think – maybe like a statement to some..? Being au-naturale, as it were, to me is more a sign of complete comfortibility with ones own body, where you don’t really care what another thinks of you naked – and generally that leads to liberated sexuality. I’d say my sexuality is a lot more certain and confident that some of my friends who are religious waxers. That might sound a bit presumptuous but it’s a theory I’m working on :)
tess — I see where you’re coming from, but there are plenty of lesbians who wax… I don’t do it for my boyfriend, I do it for myself :>
blackberrymoose — Surely being ‘completely comfortable’ & making a statement would mean you didn’t remove ANY body hair?
It’s more than a relief to hear somebody else shaves their arms! I’ve always been a tad icky about body hair and shaving my arms has been part of my routine for a number of years now. Is this a fairly common thing? I’ve met a couple of people who do it but they’ve never told me why. I have HairyItalianGenes and low body weight so i always had a lot of downy hair, didn’t like it, got rid of it. I’m sure this isn’t the only reason.
How do you do your elbows?!?
On the topic however, anyone thinking of shaving over waxing, I recommend men’s razors (i use the battery powered ones) as they seem so much better than women’s razors for your special area, especially if you have sensitive skin.
Amyz — Oh, well actually, I only do the forearms! My upper arms are covered in tattoos & the hair is so light you can barely see it! I started doing it years & years ago, in fact I probably first did it because I was bored, but I keep it up because, well, I think it looks nice & clean. Plus it feels good.
In response to Tess’ comment also: I mostly trim, but sometimes shave completely, both for my boyfriend and myself (he also trims for me). My best friend, single for a few months now, also regularly shaves, obviously for herself. I just find that it’s cleaner when you are shaved, especially if it’s really hot outside, or if you’re on your period. Plus it makes all the good bits easily accessible!
I really don’t like the idea of being completely bare. Although I watched that sex and the city episode the other night and was tempted. But I’ve had pubes since puberty and I see it as a sign of being a woman not a girl.If I do get a wax I leave a thin line, just enough for me to not feel completely naked.I have tried to wax myself, but it hurts so much I ended up quitting half way through so it was uneven.Not a good look.But a laugh.Another time I got my boyfriend to do it and it wasn’t so bad.Recently I shaved but it got irritated from a sanitary pad.Nappy rash.(maybe to much info)But I am very sensitive and shouldn’t have done it in the first place.
Ah, of course. And it really does feel good, especially if you haven’t shaved for a while and then skin after prickles… glee!!!
Yeah, I guess I know what i’ll be doing when I finish my coffee. I haven’t touched a razor for far too long. Cleanliness is awesomeness.
Katoo — I agree!
deanna — I usually leave a strip too, though sometimes I’ll take it all off. Being completely bare feels a bit illicit, which suits me sometimes! Re: nappy rash, if you use a natural all-cotton sanitary pad, that won’t happen… I think the reason for it is that it’s plastic & it’s rubbing against you. You need to use something softer.
Landing strip, please! I get a wax about once a month, and shave when I can’t afford to go to the beauty therapist (you’d be a braver woman than me if you tried to do that yourself!). I don’t have a boyfriend, so noone sees me naked except me and my doctor (and I’m certainly not doing it for her!).
I prefer the look of a well maintained, mostly hairless pubic region. When the hair starts growing out and getting unruly, it makes me feel like there’s some strange furry animal living in my crotch. Not sexy.
On men, however, I think a bit of fuzz looks better, and should still be tidy and maintained. All-off on a guy just looks a bit too bold and ‘in-your-face’, and lets face it, manparts aren’t exactly subtle at the best of times.
True, I guess it depends what overall view point you look at. I’ll admit, I shave the armpits and legs, and snatch for that matter, (not always though) when I beleive it calls for it – like if I’m going out and don’t want to have braid-worthy hair sprouting out underneath my sleeves, giving my dressy look a cavewoman chic. Then again, I don’t try and make a statement personally. However, I have known women who do – my brothers ex for one, who preached the benefits of being hairy and often would debate men into ‘their place’, as she would say :P Most of the time I’m quite happy to plod around fuzzy, as the only people I need to impress really is myself and my partner.
I’d say comfortibility ultimately will come down to personal choice – but that shouldn’t be influenced by, say, what overall society may dictate. Make sense? When it all boils down just do whatever makes you feel more “you” – be it waxed or wookie. :)
blackberrymoose — I had a stage where I didn’t shave my armpits a couple of years ago & I thought it was reeeeally sexy. It scared my boyfriend but I didn’t care. Anyway, I eventually shaved it off because it was summer & I was working in an awful, nouveau-riche area & I got sick of the hate-filled looks I was on the receiving end of! So I buckled to societal pressure. Boo. Anyway, who knows whether the looks were because of the armpit hair, the tattoos, the huge backcombed bird’s nest or what.
i shaved for years until my boy complained, so then i switched to brazillians, and then i had some UTI issues, and my Dr. said that one of the main functions of pubic hair is to prevent infection by trapping debris and preventing germs and nasties from getting into the urethra/vagina. SO, i switched to the french bikini wax and trim the remainder. I just hate being overgrown! And that is my pubic hair epic.
p.s. I don’t mean to say that everyone who shaves or waxes their snatch is more prone to infection, but if you have a history of such health problems you might want to talk it over with your doctor or consider other grooming styles.
Ah you just got to my underlying point – does society influence and condition us into seeing what is acceptable and what isn’t? Like the fact you were in a nouveau-riche place, I’m sure in yuppy land there is no room for hair but in somewhere more hippy, student, alternative orientated I’m sure you would have been one of many women proudly having armpit hair.
Hair is hair is hair ultimately. I honestly don’t think it matters much whatever you do with it, as long as you can be condifent in your decision. nods
Anyway I don’t think I should keep trying to make “points” because there ultimately is no points to make! :)
I’m like Jessica above, except for the fact I shave (carefully) because I haven’t got enough money lyng around to get waxed. I will once I get to college (too soon, eeks.)
I like to leave some because it makes me feel very feminine, like those statues that have just a hint to accent the area. Without hair I feel it just fades into the rest of my thighs, argh. But I’d toy with the idea of going fully bare at least once, just to say I have!!
Landing strip !!
shaved , because waxing gives me bruises ! and its easier , I tryed letting it grow and its way to hot, sweaty, and uncomfortable just like armpits , although my man loves it I did before I meet him for me and me only !!!
On the subject of men they to need to trim its just nicer and less sweaty too ..
Hmm… I’ve been thinking of getting this, now that the summer season is here… what do we all think of lazering it off, eh?
jessica — Oh gosh, I didn’t know that. Good tip, thank you for sharing miss!
Beth — I don’t know about permanent hair removal! I feel like maybe when I’m 70 I’ll want to cover it up. Though you could always wear a MERKIN! Aahahaha! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin
Waxing is too expensive for me, which leaves shaving which doesn’t seem very effective… straight after you’ve shaved you can still see the hairs through the skin and it’s all prickly… you feel the prickles on you underwear and it itches as it grows back and I seem to get a lot of ingrown hairs. (maybe i’m doing something wrong).
I have to say the only body hair I remove regularly is in my arm pits… I don’t even shave my legs that often. I have wee fine baby blonde leg hairs, and have chunky pale legs that I don’t put on show.
The whole ‘it looks nicer’ argument doesn’t really sit well with me… it’s not really a place I actually ‘look’ that often. I don’t have any full length mirrors (shock horror, i know!) and really I’m usually concentrating on the overall look of my body whenever i’m perving at myself nekkid.
I actually prefer hair down there, the first time i whipped it all off I felt pre-pubescent and odd.
Anna- I totally agree with you! I prefer the look of it as well. But then I’m also not a very hairy person, so it’s hard to imagine what hairy gals go through. I also don’t pay much attention to my legs (I do shave them and my armpits when I remember, mainly cos I prefer the look and feel), but the hair on them is fine and blonde.
But if you truly like the look and feel of it, and want to do it for yourself, then by all means rip ‘em off. And I realise that many lesbians do it as well- I didn’t mean to just talk about men in my comment, it’s just that my story involves my boyfriend! I’m just saying that I hate the thought of doing it because someone else wants me to, which is the reason some people I know have done it.
I’m all for shaving/waxing. I personally shave everything off as well. I just prefer it that way.
The boy also shaves everything, and I like it that way. Nothing kills the mood like a rouge pube in your teeth, if you know what I’m getting at.
I have a friend who worked at d.vice, an adult shop, and there was an ‘instrument’ they stocked we were both rather interested in…it was a pubic area shaving kit. It had different stencil-type shapes you could use to shave interesting designs with…it looked really cool! I also remember reading an article ages ago in some mag about different shapes for your pubic hair, and they talked about heart shapes etc…I think it would be fun to have fun with the area if you wanted to remove some hair ;)
My husband usually shaves mine. We actually find it quite intimate. :) Also, I find it really hard to get it how I like it because I can’t reach everything…hahaha.
I like a large landing strip. So, well kept, but I still feel covered. And I definitely trim so it’s not “bushy.”
With men, I like hair on a guy. I think they should trim, but shaving? GROSS. I have an ex-boyfriend who shaved his entire body and I still laugh about it.
But, thats just me.
I shave it all off, but recently I got my first Brazilian wax. I LOVED it, but it only lasted a week or so before it started to grow back in. What gives?!
Anyway, my boyfriend prefers it all off too, I think. But even if he didn’t, I’d still take it all off because that is how I like it.
And that’s what really matters, isn’t it? Do with you pubic hair what you will, as long as you LIKE it. :)
I like keep myself “hairless below the eyelashes” because I prefer the feeling and really enjoy the aesthetic. I think the stigma against men shaving or waxing is a bit silly, really, but it is going to suit some of us better than others.
As for what I enjoy in women, I think how well a girl’s choice of pubic hair style fits the rest of her style and her personality matters more than anything else. I can honestly say I’ve found everything in the spectrum from hairy to bald worked perfectly aesthetically and otherwise when done properly.
Haha! “Hairless below the eyelashes.”
I totally agree! I’m the same way :)
Beth – lasering can be very painful, an old flatmate of mine stopped halfway due to the agony (!) and it depends on how dark your hair is as to how well it works.
I use depilatory cream to go bare, but here in holland the latest ‘fad’ is apparently … anus bleaching. Mind boggling! O_o
Anna Rose — Seriously, I don’t know how you get dressed without a full length mirror. I wanted to take one to Burning Man! Terrible, I know.
Emma — There are kits you can buy for pubic bleaching, I forget the name but they have one which is hot pink! I toyed with the idea but then thought better of putting bleach near my beloved clitoris!
Britt — I love that your husband does it for you, I actually think that’s kind of romantic. Does he do a good job? ;>
Ness — OH! I’ve read about that! It even has a wikipedia entry…
I’m too scared to get waxed at a salon…the thought of a stranger touching me in that oh-so-private place fills me with a dread I can’t describe.
Therefore, I shave. I don’t mind the upkeep. It’s just part of the daily ritual, as much as brushing my teeth or putting on makeup.
This made me giggle (from Ritalin): “When the hair starts growing out and getting unruly, it makes me feel like there’s some strange furry animal living in my crotch.”
Hahaha… I know the feeling. I used to shave for aesthetics because I ran track and had to wear “buns” (spandex bikini bottoms that were see-through, ewww) but I didn’t like the feeling of hair re-growing so quickly, so now that I’m not running competitively I just tweeze & trim. I agree that I don’t feel vain in doing the work because I feel it’s equivalent to tweezing eyebrows, unibrows just aren’t pretty :]
Hi!
I shave everything…arms, legs, pits, stomach, genitals…though I leave a strip now. I used to shave it all, but as I got older, I just found it looked WEIRD being completely gone. So the strip is a nice compromise.
I would wax more often but its pricy and I break out for like 5-7 days after in my bikini area and stomach – its annoying! Sometimes being a brunette really sucks.
For years I’ve been getting rid of hair yet I only bleached my arm hair…then one day I shaved it…and I was like…why haven’t I been doing this forever? It looks a million times better.
I remember reading about brazilians with some friends back in high school. We were all mortified and declared that we would never ever do such a thing. This was around 1999 ish.
Sometime in the next few years that all changed, because now I every girl I discuss it with (myself included) employs some combo of waxing/shaving/creams. However, my last trip to the gym revealed there is still a substantial amount of bush around.
I’m brazilian and, gosh, what exactly you guys call a brazilian wax? lol
Here most women don’t really take it all off. We also wax our legs and armpits frequently. And it’s not really expensive to get a complete wax (legs-armpits-bikini line) on the saloon. Altough, it’s common to do it at home… lots of women are very good waxers, as my mom.
And for me… well.. I hate waxing. I used to do it on my legs. But then I got myself a little machine: a Phillips Satinelle Epilator, which does the same as a wax, hurt as a wax, but doesn’t create a mess. And I can do it all by myself without any fears.
My armpits I shave every 2 days. I don’t like waxing because you have to wait for it to grow until you can wax again, and I can’t stand having hair on my armpits, I hate it, so I can’t wait for it to grow.
And my pubes, I trim and I shave on the bikini line.
Waxing is a no for me. I prefer to shave, but I apparantly have terribly sensitive skin, because every time I shave, I always get tons of ingrown hairs. And I mean TONS. If I shave to wear a bathing suit, I end up covering up anyway because it looks like I have a scary rash down there.
Anyone have suggestions? I’d use a removal cream product, but they never work for me.
I HATE shaving. End of story. Therefore, I try to do it as little as possible – and being blessed with very light and sparce hair I can get away with it. I will shave my ‘pits and legs if I’m going out to a dance or dinner, but otherwise, I really don’t care. Sometimes I will take the trusty snips betwixt my legs, but only very rarely (about three-four times a year). I maintain that as it’s there for a reason. For example, there’s the whole thing with nurses shaving woman going into childbirth, but they found that more woman and children got infections with the shaving, so the nurses stopped. I’m thinking that I have enough medical issues without adding infections from shaving. I guess it just comes down in the end to the fact that I’m lazy and such a klutz, that when I do shave I end up more bloody then hair-free.
I quite like hair. I like headhair to be a mane. I like facehair to be trimmed but still a bit fuzzy. And I like all kinds of subchin hair. I like it visually, I like it tactile-y. Tactically? looks that up Tactiley. Neat. Anyway… where was I? Oh yeah, hair.
I think it helps balance the shadows with the body’s highlights. And it’s nice to rub and stroke! It might be the vintagist (or retrosexual) in me.
Incidentally, while finding Whimsy’s page to see if he had his retrosexuality article online, I found that the word is also used to mean the anti-metrosexual. Which makes even less sense than ‘metrosexual’. Pop culture, you have no historical perspective!
Hmm. I figure I’m the product of gazillions of years of evolution and the hair’s probably where it’s meant to be, so I don’t shave/wax/hair-removal cream anything except my legs when I’m bored in the bath, lol. I’m not down on people shaving but I’m very much down on the idea that one HAS to – shaving just isn’t personal hygiene, washing is personal hygiene, thank you very much. The reason I shave my legs every once in a blue moon and never my underarms is that I like shaving my legs, the actual shaving part, and I like them being all smooth and I don’t mind them growing back (as long as I’m not concerned with shaving them again to keep them hairless), cause you can barely see it. I don’t like shaving my underarms, and I don’t like the look of them when they’re shaved, and I really don’t like it when they’re growing back, it looks awful. Never experimented with anything else.
I don’t know, no one has ever had the delight of seeing my ‘air down there so I’ve never bothered tidying it up. I suppose I’d give it a trim but no shaving or waxing! Stubble…down there? No thank you! I’m not going near there with wax…ewww. I’ve cut the hair before but it’s been so itchy that I dread to think what shaving or waxing would be like. Future boyfriend(s)? Well, they may ‘have’ to look at it and play with it but I do both those things and I have it attached to me, so I think my desires get priority. I shave my armpits because it makes me sweat less, so little that I don’t have to wear deodorant, which I figure is healthier. I shave my lower legs but I don’t shave my upper legs because the hair is too fine to be seen unless you’re right up close and I figure if anyone gets right up close enough then it’s still nice and smooth because I’ve never shaved it so there is no prickly stubble.
Eyebrows are an entirely different matter as far as I’m concerned, but then I only need to (in my opinion at least) pluck them every couple of weeks.
I don’t go for extremes, because it’s so difficult to change one’s mind.
Good Lord.
People’s willingness to share is, um, astonishing.
I think it’s safe to say that this issue is purely a matter of personal choice, because regardless of how free one is with one’s favours, it’s not an area on display to The General Public. :-)
[PS – the title of this post reminds me of that La De Das song. Sing it with me now: How is the air up there . . ?]
I gotta say, when you start thinking about it, this is a divisive issue.
My honey wanted me to shave for a year before I did it, but I resisted until it was MY decision. After all, I am a feminist.
So I’ve been thinking- is it ever OK to change (appearance, etc.) for another person? My gut reaction is, NO!! It’s not!
I had a “friend” who told me that she told her b/f he had to “be less of a dork” before she would consider dating him. He changed his mannerisms & appearance just for her. I was shocked and, honestly, appalled! If he had told her to lose 30 ponds before he’d date her, she’d never have gone for it, but somehow it was OK for her to say that?
I had another friend who would change everything about herself to match her new b/f-first she was a punk, then a metalhead, then she became a REPUBLICAN, just for her new man. Where is the real person??
But… if your b/f wanted you to stop doing heroin or he’s break up with you, is that the same thing? I mean, obviously, you shoulndn’t do heroin, but shouldn’t the reason for quitting be for yourself?
What do you all think of this?
i don’t have much to add to the topic, but i found it amusing that i’m watching the episode of sex and the city that you quoted in this article right now!
Nadine — My generation is like that! None of us REALLY understand (or care about) the concept of privacy, we all have livejournals where we discuss our sex lives & Myspace accounts where we organise to meet for coffee at this time at this place. Everything is very ‘open’ — my boyfriend (35) thinks it is crazy, but for the majority of us, it’s the way it’s always been ;>
Ruth — Ya, it’s a delicate line. I would like to claim I’ve never changed for a guy, but I have, & mostly in positive ways. Though a lot of those relationships have been long-term & who’s to say I wouldn’t have changed anyway? Ultimately, people change as they grow, & if someone you’re involved with helps to speed up the process of POSITIVE change, then I think that’s a-okay. Really the problem appears when you have people who want to change you in a way which doesn’t benefit you, or you really don’t want to do it.
Rhiannon — Sex In Another City! Love that episode. “& there, in the South American’s living room, my Brazilian made me kiss him.” Aww! & the bit at the Playboy Manson, when Miranda sees all the bunnies in the spa & says, “Look — tit soup”. Aaahaha!
Ruth, I totally agree with you. I have a personality which means I often change slightly depending on who I am hanging out with a lot at any given time. It is really subconscious for me tho as I don’t even realise until I stop hanging out with that person so much. This is one of the ways I knew my boyfriend was the one for me…he is the only person I am truly truly myself around. Its pretty awesome :)
Love is Grand! x
eek that didn’t come out very well… The ways I changed were more superficial, such as the way I dressed etc.. and they were not neccesarily negative changes either. I think everyone has an aspect of that trying-to-fit-in characteristc, everyone wants to be loved. Its just a shame if someone wants/needs you to change in order to be with them (whether thats friends or lovers).
its a little off the topic of PUBIC hair but i agree with giselle and will totally sing the epilators praises. i bought the same on as her about two months ago, used it on my legs and armpits (i have a reasonably high pain tolerance so wouldn’t recommend everyone try the armpits with this machine) and went a whole four weeks before i saw noticable hairs again! they grew back really light and soft and as a very dark brunette it was a HUGE improvement on the dark next-day stubble i get with shaving!
That epilator sounds interesting! I guess I have a fairly high pain tolerance (tattoos!) so I would probably be able to deal with it. Do you think it would BRUTAL on pubic hair?
i definitely think an epilator would be a sound investment, i bought the top of the line at NZD$130 and will never have to shave again. and i haven’t tried it down there yet but the box says you can epilate your ‘bikini line’ so maybe? it sounds a bit strange but i used to tweeze a lot of my hairs down there and that didn’t hurt me at all so the epilator might not be too much worse…
Fabulous! Sounds like a plan… thank you for writing about your experiences ;>
I’m older than you, but I’m younger than your boyfriend. Keep on sharing, kids – it’s all jolly educational. :-)
I’m totally perturbed by the belief in these comments that hair removal has anything to do with cleanliness. Washing is for cleanliness! Hair’s there for a reason — as someone said, it keeps the germs OUT. Taking it all off is a ridiculous fashion. I find it really anti-feminist. It has to do with the porn-isation of our culture and I’m really disturbed that it’s become the norm in women younger than me.
I am surprised I’m in such a minority! I say a big YES to trimming, and to a wax or depilatory cream on the bikini line, but any more than that just makes me look weird. And stubble and ingrown hairs are so, SO not sexy.
For the record, I shave under my arms once a week or so, and epilate my legs with one of those machines about every couple of weeks. The epilator is great, not as good as waxing but keeps things smooth enough.
There are so many better things to do with an hour than remove body hair. It’s totally self-obsessive, and for that reason I think maybe it’s just a youthful thing. I would like to go back to these commenters in 10 or 15 years and see how many can still be arsed to remove their body hair! I feel old. Generation gap!
I am not “self-obsessive” or an “anti-feminist” because I dislike body hair. That is ridiculous. Talk about judgement! How is it that removing pubic hair is “anti-feminist” but shaving your armpits or legs is not? As re-iterated many times over in these comments, a lot of women remove their pubic hair for THEMSELVES, not their significant others or because they aspire to resemble Jenna Jameson.
I don’t want to call something or the other feminist or anti-feminist or this or that. I don’t mind what people do as long as they THINK about it. It bothers me when there is a ‘given’ that young ladies ‘should’ all be bare down there. If they want to be, woohoo! If they don’t, woohoo! I just don’t think anyone should have to feel like that have to do one thing or another. The pyschology of our bodies & the shame we attach is so complex…
(hah, I reread that. I might as well say, “Hi – my name is Allison. & I’m graduating with a Gender Studies major.”)
allison — You’re so right, it’s all about personal choice… & ultimately it’s nobody else’s business what we choose to do with our body hair (or anything else for that matter) ;>
Sorry Annabel, I have to disagree with you.
We do not have pubic hair to keep germs out. In fact hair anywhere holds more bacteria than bare skin. Evolutionarily, it has been debated that pubic hair and hair in other body regions (on both women and men) may act as an indicator to the opposite sex that we are sexually mature, and able to reproduce. More conclusively, body hair helps maintain scents, smells, and pheremones, as well as helping to regulate body temperature at those particular locations.
The former reason is certainly one main reason I shave my armpits religiously. I don’t like the smell of an unshaven armpit – and I don’t like the flaky white crust from deodorants stuck in the hair either!
I disagree with you that pubic hair removal is anti-feminist, self-obsessive, and is linked to the “porn-isation” of our culture. As Gala pointed out in her original article, genital waxing has been prevalent in many cultures for centuries. I don’t see how a woman looking after her body, and maintaining it in a healthy way that she finds attractive could be anything but positive.
At the end of the day, if it makes you feel good about your body, and you’re causing no harm, then where’s the problem? It’s all personal preference.
That video was hilarious!
Thanks SO much for linking to it!
Hahahah!
It has almost given me the guts…
I shave and trim myself, always been too scared to go the wax… but always wanted to.
I thought I’d do it when I turn 30.
Hmmmm – I want to know how do you feel afterwards? red raw, throbbing? for how long?
does waxing create ingrown hairs? or all types of trimming does?
thanks for this everyone, I feel part of a great sisterhood!
Yes, afterwards it is verrry red & tender, but you’ll be a-okay the day afterwards. I know that some people have a reaction to the wax & can break out, apparently the best thing for this is to dab tea-tree oil on. Anti-bacterial, & all that. I don’t think you’d get too many ingrown hairs from waxing, & I think the key (with any kind of hair removal) is to exfoliate the area regularly (every day in the shower) to prevent it from happening.
Belle – I think any type of trimming that takes the hair back to the skin can cause ingrown hairs.
You can minimise the amount you get by gently exfoliating the area regularly. I also recommend a lotion like ‘TendSkin’, or the Nads After Wax solution. Anything that has a dilute solution of acetyl salicylic acid (yep, aspirin!) should help. As well as being anti-inflammatory, I think it also slows hair growth. ‘TendSkin’ is usually quite expensive, but the Nads stuff is only about $15 for a Spray bottle, and lasts for ages.
Oh, I should also add, that to avoid the rash/break outs that happen a day or two after waxing, you shouldn’t go swimming, have a bath (a shower is better), or go to the gym for 24 hours after a wax.
My waxer told me it’s to allow your follicles time to tighten up again, to prevent bacteria getting in. The breakouts are a result of infection, but should clear up in a few days.
Wow… I didn’t know I knew so much about pubes.
I trim! I get my bikini line waxed, too, but not that often. I do prefer it really trimmed, but not off. And if I have a man, I make a little more effort, but I haven’t had one for a wee while.
I also LOVE my tea tree oil shower wash afterwards. Mmmm.
I’d never done anything but trim down there until yesterday. I’d enjoyed my bush, even thought it was much better than any alternative, but after reading this I realized that wasn’t an informed opinion. so I shaved it off.
I hate it! It’s not nearly as visually or tactility pleasing, and it definitely doesn’t look like me. my boyfriend agrees with me; as he explained, I have plenty of smooth skin elsewhere and he liked the change of texture. it reminds me of one of those sphynx cats: just plain cuter with the fur. my conclusion is, I prefer the enchanted gypsy snatch, hands down.
Okay, I was bashing out my response at work and it come out a bit harsh, sorry. I have trouble articulating what I think about this. I believe that everyone has the right to do whatever the hell they like with their body hair, and it is their business and I don’t intend to be judgemental. But I also think people should ask themselves “why am I doing this?”. “Because I like it” might be the answer, but I think that’s a bit naive. I think it’s a trend, and I don’t really like it because I see it as yet another thing that women are being told we’re supposed to do in order to be seen as attractive. There is so much social pressure on women to look attractive as it is, and I think it’s not fair in general, and particularly sad that even our pubes are subject to society’s whims. That’s what I meant by anti-feminist — not the actual woman making the choice to go bare, but our culture’s focus on physical perfection that makes that choice fashionable in the first place. I don’t for a second think that you are anti-feminist, quite the opposite. I’m not opposed to pubic hair grooming either, I’m certainly not above cultural hair-removal norms, I just object to something I already find tedious and slightly unfair becoming even more involved and time- and money-consuming.
I was horrified to read how many women on here go for the Full Monty! Not because I have anything against it, but because I’d managed to convince myself that total neglect of the nether regions was entirely normal. As someone else on here said, it’s not really an area I examine that closely, and – like so many parts of the body – it only really gets any TLC when bikini season comes around. I did once – prompted by my boyfriend’s unsupressed enthusiasm – get a Brazilian: he loved it, but it just made me feel uncomfortable; the pre-pubescent look is far from sexy.
My terminal laziness aside, I’m all for being neat and trim, but I just don’t see that it’s of the same priority as keeping your legs and armpits smooth – after all, which get more of a public airing?
I found this on my homepage this morning.. I thought you ladies may want to see it. Yikes.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/070704/ health/health_brazilian_wax_complications
Was just wondering around your site and stumbled across this page.
I’m only young, and am pretty lazy at that. I don’t bother at all. I don’t shave my legs either unless I’m going swimming or wearing 3/4 lengths. I don’t see the point really. I should definatly try cleaning up my act though.
I often find myself wondering about this subject though. Because everything I do is obviously normal for me. And I always wondered what normal was for other girls.
I once shaved it all off and I felt horrible afterwards. In my opinion; it looked like I was a little girl again.. Sometimes I worry like, oh lord will I catch something? or, what if it smells? But I never got the courage to ask, I just thought it was weird to ask.
I don’t really like having hair in my legs and armpits, so I shave it quite frequently, unless is winter. I like that smooth sensation you have when you’re shave, and it looks so good! I don’t mind the pain of wax of epilators, since I’m used to it (I’ve been waxing since 11). For me is a personal thing, I just hate to see my legs full of hair (and since I’m brunette they’re really dark), I feel so good when I’m free of them :D
Talking about “the area”, I didn’t wax it entirely until my boyfriend asked me too. At first I was scared, but when I did shave it all it felt nice and comfortable, and my boyfriend loved it; and since I liked it too, I kept on doing it xD So now I do it every once in a while…I don’t really see a problem in it, you just have to use a clean and/or new razor blade, cause waxing the lips is dangerous, as it is using creams, and of course a unclean razor is bad too.
Oh yeah, epilators are awesome, I have one and I haven’t gone to the waxing salon since months! Why would I want to if I don’t pay for using the epilator? And it hurts just as much as the wax, but at least it doesn’t burn :P
whether or not you decide to keep your pubes is totally a personal decision.
I myself would do it but i have very sensitive skin and shaving/waxing leaves rashes and bumps. It is upsetting because to a certain extent i feel pressured to go bare because i feel as if more and more men expect it.
Still, i figure anyone i choose to get intimate with will enjoy me for who i am, hair or bare.
La la la I NEVER SHAVE MY ARMPITS. Ever. I’m a raging feminist— rageragerage—see? And you know, that has NOTHING to do with not shaving my armpits. I just prefer having hair to feeling sweaty chicken skin rubbing up against the sides of mein boobens.
I mean, ok, it isn’t that I NEVER shave, but once every three weeks is more than enough for me. And every time some poofter Muffy Vera-Bradley-Purse betch in one of my classes decides to shoot me a snarky look, I suddenly get intense back pains that force me to stretch with my arms held high over my head for long periods of time while looking sleazily in her direction.
That’s MY hair and if you want me to get rid of it, well, that’s fine. But I really don’t like their eyebrows, you know, and those occur naturally as well, so I might just wait until they’re sleeping and get rid of them on their behalf…
Now, I’d rather not share my grooming habits, mainly because I’m in high school and… You get the picture, it’s awkward…
But Have you all heard of pubic hair dye? It comes in fun colors like red and green for the holidays and pink year-round! And of course, there are natural colors such as black, blonde, and brown. (Yes, there is a safe way to tint your hair down there!) It’s really fabulous…
www.bettybeauty.com
Thought you ought to know.
i’m a little backwards, i think. i shave my legs and everything in the winter (mm, silky legs under trousers! love!), but in the summer i let everything grow out. the sun bleaches my leg and arm hairs a beauuuutiful golden colour that i love. and then i use dry oil all over and i glow like a fairy princess! much prettier than boring hairless i think!
Hehe…I’m a bit late on posting in this thread, but, I thought I’d give my opinion.
Honestly, unless my hair is being shown, I don’t care if its long and bushy. My sister gets grossed out in the wintertime when I don’t shave my legs for 3 months…but I’m somehow…well, proud of my leg hair. As for my glorious crotch hair, well, I let that go too in the wintertime. I may wax it off completely in the summertime if i’m donning a swimsuit…or if I know i’m getting layed. All in all, I’m verrry comfortable with my body, and I’m also very comfortable with body hair. Sometimes I like it there, sometimes I want it gone.
It depends on the colour of my mood ring.
I don’t know what to do. Ha. I feel weird saying that, but I don’t. So, I’m 15 and not sexually active. But I don’t know what’s condidered “normal” for that. Haa. Right now I just trim, because if I didn’t that’s feel weird to me. Wookies between the legs aren’t attractive. But I don’t know what other people my age do. And I am NOT going to ask some of my close friends. Lol. I just don’t know whether I should wax it all off or not. And what do men expect? What’s normal?, help. Lol
Well just had to stop by because I did something yesterday I never thought I would do before – the full monty. The timing was right for me – I had found someone I didn’t feel uncomfortable with having the bikini line done (started swimming again) before. This time she raved about the brazilian and kept me so entertained during the whole thing, cracking jokes and making me laugh that I was totally at ease. She also assured me that all of my negativity towards my nether regions were in my head & there was nothing grotesque about the area and she’d seen them all! Personally I have always waxed eyebrows and armpits, shave my lower legs occasionally cos there is so little there and had attempted to wax the groin area on a number of occasions but found it too difficult. Creams have never worked on any area for me. The way I feel now is that I am likely to keep it up. It feels great, comfortable and entirely for me. I never did it for my man, even after 10 years together, and I love the results for me. Have been accused of being a feminist in the past and if that definition means I love myself, my feminity and give myself reasons to as well then hell bring it baby, I’m a feminist!