Beauty Queens, Butt Glue & Radical Self Love: What Really Goes On In The World Of Pageantry?
[ 5 April 2011, 10:46 ]
What really goes on in the world of beauty pageantry? Backstage, surrounded by miles of hair extensions, industrial-sized cans of hairspray & gallons of butt glue, who are these girls & why do they do what they do?
While it would be easy to make assumptions about these women based on external appearances — big shiny teeth, massive hair, & the quest for a crown — isn’t it anti-feminist to judge women for pursuing their dreams? While not all of us go to sleep dreaming of a sash & a bouquet of flowers, that doesn’t make someone else’s goals any less real.
“My idea of feminism is self-determination, & it’s very open-ended: every woman has the right to become herself, & do whatever she needs to do.” (Ani DiFranco)
Plus, I always had a sneaking suspicion that there must be more to pageantry than vaseline on the gnashers & an airbrush tan. I like to think there is always more going on under the surface of any given situation.
When I put out the call for pageant participants on Twitter & Facebook, I could not have possibly dreamed that I would hear from Miss New Mexico USA!
Brittany Toll is a radical self love warrior, multiple title winner (Miss New Mexico USA, Miss New Mexico Teen USA 2005 & was a top 10 finalist at Miss Teen USA), & she is participating in Miss USA in June! (I will be glued to NBC, cheering her on!) Hailing from New Mexico, Brittany works as a pre-kindergarten teacher through Teach For America, & is an avid blogger over at Happy Brittany. Her blog is wonderful, & a perfect reflection of who she is: caring, optimistic & upbeat.
I was so excited to interview her & get the inside scoop on what it really means to be a “beauty queen”. I think you’ll find her just as thoughtful, articulate & charming as I did — yes, she definitely has my vote for Miss USA!
First of all, tell us who you are & what you do.
I’m Brittany Toll, and I am the current Miss New Mexico USA and a pre-kindergarten teacher in Gallup, NM with the non-profit organization Teach For America. I am also the former Miss New Mexico Teen USA 2005 and top 10 finalist at the 2005 Miss Teen USA pageant. I’m also a blogger!
When did you first get into pageantry & what motivated you to begin?
I first got involved when I was in high school. It all started when our choir’s sign language choreographer approached me and suggested I compete for Miss New Mexico Teen USA. Growing up my family had never watched pageants. The entire world of pageantry was very new to me. I figured I would give it a shot.
I began my preparations and in a few short months I was ready to compete, and then what would you know I was crowned Miss New Mexico Teen USA 2005.
While holding the title I began to understand what I could actually do with it. As I prepared for the 2005 Miss Teen USA pageant, I also devoted myself entirely to my state. I traveled all across New Mexico speaking at events and contributing my efforts towards making an impact. I was humbled by the people I met and the relationships I formed. I couldn’t believe that an 18-year-old could make such an impact, even in the smallest ways. I learned so much about myself and about the world around me. I was truly inspired by the many experiences I had.
When I gave up my title and crowned the next Miss New Mexico Teen USA, I knew that this could not be the end. After the incredible experiences being a teen brought, I wanted to seize the opportunity to further represent the state and make a positive change. Thus I began my preparations towards becoming Miss New Mexico USA.
Do you have a trainer or coach who helps you get ready for pageants?
Well, I have a wonderful fitness trainer (who’s amazingly positive and motivational!) who is helping me tone my body and increase my strength.
In addition to that, I believe the best advice comes from people who have had similar experiences. I have been picking the brains of former Miss New Mexico USAs and former Miss USAs. These women know so much, and I’ve gained so much insight from what they share with me about their experiences as titleholders. I can use their knowledge to refine and compose my preparations while still keeping the elements of myself that make me unique and different.
What kind of preparation do you go through in the lead-up to a pageant? Do you eat or exercise in a specific way? Do you have a wacky spray-tanning routine?
Oh my gosh! There are so many things to do in order to prepare for a national competition, even when preparing for the state competition I prepared in a manner that would fortify me for Miss USA (the ultimate goal, so it made sense!).
Preparations vary from girl to girl, but what I really work on most is my mentality. I have been reading countless books on a variety of subjects. Mental conditioning and positivity is what fuels my preparations and motivation most. I’ve also been reading texts and news magazines about politics, government, and world issues.
In addition to being a book-worm I watch lots of YouTube make-up tutorial videos and spend hours perfecting my runway walk. I’m also putting together a fashionable and glamorous wardrobe for the entire two-week period that I will be in Las Vegas for the Miss USA pageant. There is so much more that goes into preparing for a pageant, but I know we don’t have all day….
Since I am a cardio-addict and a vegetarian I am constantly trying to fill my body with lean and healthy protein. I also have the biggest sweet tooth on Earth, (I dare anyone to challenge me to this statement) so I have to practice self-control on a minute-by-minute basis. In addition, I mentioned that I have a physical trainer who helps guide me through the appropriate muscle training exercises. Ultimately, when I step on stage in my teeny bikini I want my body to represent a natural, health conscious, and self-loving woman.
As for spray tanning, oh boy… I have had too many ill-resulted situations with that endeavor, so I stick with slathering an equal combination of self-tanning lotion combined and regular lotion. Self-tanning lotion on it’s own is too dramatic for me, that’s why I prefer to mix it with a basic lotion. I have a natural olive tone so I just want a slight kiss of tan. It’s a tricky situation because once you are on stage and the lights are beating down on you, your color washes away faster than Justin Bieber’s newly released single reaching the #1 position on iTunes.
How tricky is it to pick the right swimsuit & gown? Do most contestants have them custom-made? Do you have three million fittings?!
I’ve always been the type of girl who doesn’t stress about these things, especially the gown. Fortunately my swimsuit was provided for me for Miss New Mexico USA and will also be provided for me at Miss USA.
As for the gown it’s all about the neck up. Yes, you must pick a gown that flatters you and makes you feel powerful, graceful and beautiful, but you must also recognize that the judges are not choosing the gown to be the next Miss USA (they did that once, and she fell flat bu dom bum, ch!).
The dress I wore for the Miss New Mexico USA pageant I had picked out less than a week before the actual competition. In fact, it even cost me less than the new set of tires I had installed on my CR-V that same weekend!
For Miss USA the stakes are a little higher so yes, my dress is being custom made and from my understanding a lot of girls choose to have theirs custom made as well. When I won Miss New Mexico USA I already had the vision in my mind of what my dress would be for Miss USA. I am really excited about my gown because it’s very original, gorgeous and truly reflective of my personality and style. Oh, and to give it even more meaning I had my students choose what color it would be! I can’t even articulate how excited they were to have been a part of my preparations in such a significant way.
Once the dress is complete I’ll have a couple of fittings and while I’m at the Miss USA competition stylists are on hand for any additional tweaks and adjustments that may be needed.
When I was researching pageants, I found websites which sell booklets of sample interview questions, & was totally fascinated! Do most contestants use these?
Oh yes these are very helpful! It’s just good to open your mind to new thoughts and take the time to reflect on your opinions and beliefs and how you would react to certain situations. I think these booklets are helpful for anyone in any situation, not just pageant girls.
To prepare for Miss New Mexico USA I recorded over 200 questions onto my iPod, and I would answer them by myself in my car while driving long distances. It was so helpful, and I learned to control my tone and pace as well. Wonder what the family in the station wagon thought as they passed me while I was engaged in an intense conversation with my steering wheel…
Other than butt glue, are there any other secret tricks of the trade that you would be willing to give away?
Ah, butt glue is magic, although not so fun when your toosh is sticking to your flirty floral skirt three days later. Truthfully, that’s the only trick I know. I would just say it’s always a good idea to have safety pins and double-stick tape on hand at all times.
Oh, and I once heard of a girl who put black electrical tape around the base of her shoe so that it blended in with the stage since they were extreme platform heels. Clever!
Is the world of pageantry as wild & dramatic as people think? Do girls really cut up each others’ dresses & all that stuff?!
I’m happy to report that from my experiences in the Miss Universe Organization it is not like that at all. Most of the girls who I have met and competed with were there for the same reasons as I was. They believed that they were qualified and enthusiastic about being a role model and positively impacting and empowering others.
I have heard of a few events that have happened to others (never to me) but most seem to be petty and silly and typically a girl with that type of attitude never wins.
Is there an official stance on cosmetic surgery or enhancement? How do you view it? How common is it for contestants to have work done? Do you think it increases the chances of winning?
There is no official stance on this within the Miss Universe Organization. I personally prefer the more natural look, which is why I have not had any cosmetic surgery done. I have known many women who have gone under a knife and have very much enjoyed the results; on the reverse I have also seen the opposite.
I think it depends on the girl and her judgment. If she feels it will help her confidence then it may be a decision that she is willing to make.
I would say these days it’s more common than it use to be, but I also think we are starting to see a decline in how common it really is. I think a lot of women, particularly those striving to be role models, are choosing to support the position that beauty is not perfection. I do not think it increases the chances of winning.
Do you ever watch Toddlers & Tiaras? Do you think it is an accurate depiction of what goes on behind the scenes?
I have seen one episode of that show, and all I can attest to is my own experiences as a pageant girl.
What I have learned is that the older the girls in the competition are, the more independent and free-thinking they become. In the Miss New Mexico USA competitions so many girls work hard by their own initiatives. They truly depicted empowered women who are incredible role models in their communities. In the pageants that I have been involved in no one else is allowed backstage other than the contestants and the pageant staff. This eliminates a lot of unnecessary stress and conflict for the constants and perhaps that may be where a lot of the drama derives from on that show.
After watching that one episode all I can say is that I am fortunate to have had nothing but extremely pleasant and positive pageant experiences. Oh, and I’m also fortunate to have a “non-pageant” mom who stands by my side rather than in front of me cementing my bangs with Aqua Net!
In your initial email, you said that you are “not a typical pageant girl”. Other than being a radical self love warrior (HIGH-FIVE!), what makes you different from the girls you compete against?
Often times what can tend to see happen in pageants are girls reconfiguring who they are to fit a certain mold, or, crown if you will. Some women believe that they must act, dress, or look a specific way to fit the role. I have embraced all of the quirky and unique qualities about myself, and I am not afraid to display them. I’ll even dress them up in hearts and glitter!
On top of that, pageants are a rather “new” endeavor for me. I mentioned that I had never even watched a pageant until I was in one and that’s the complete truth.
I also actually despise the word “pageant.” For me, I see a pageant as a flourishing opportunity, an opportunity that will allow me to discover my strengths and strive to refine them while showcasing my personal style and attitude. I look at “pageants” as more of a job application. I compete in pageants so that I can use the position of a titleholder to helps others and reach out to new audiences, not just to earn a sparkly crown.
It’s also rare to find a titleholder who is preparing for a national competition while teaching pre-kindergarten all day long. I spend 8 hours a day engaging with four-year-olds, and it’s preparing me for this competition in such a unique way!
Many girls take the semester off from school, but I see it as this: Miss USA is a full time job; very similar to the lifestyle I’m currently leading. Miss USA must balance her full-time job to service with her exercise needs, red-carpet events, and personal life. I’m practicing the life-style of Miss USA.
A few confessions of Miss New Mexico USA:
1. I LOVE to pull pranks on people.
2. I don’t have cable, just an extensive library of books and eBooks for my Kindle.
3. I’m a self-taught artist.
4. I once wore pink gemstones around my eye to an event as Miss NM USA.
5. I live in a rural area, which is considered the heart of the Navajo Nation, a place most people only read about in books.
6. I own 3 GameBoys.
7. I’m a recovering cupcake addict.
8. I am fascinated with serial killers (I’m so interested in learning about criminal minds).
9. I have freckles on my face that parallel the Little Dipper.
10. I’m a huge Greek Mythology nerd. In college I took a Mythology course, and my team won the Mythology Bowl Championship back-to-back times.
Congratulations on being crowned Miss New Mexico last October! How did it feel to win? What do you think gave you the edge over your fellow competitors?
Why thank you! It felt incredibly unreal. I had visualized the moment in my head over and over again so many times, but I was still completely shocked and ridiculously humbled. The best part was having every single incredible person in my life there to enjoy the moment with me.
I think one of the biggest things that gave me an edge were my life experiences. To compete for a Miss USA state pageant you must be between the ages of 19 to 26, and I waited until I was 24 to compete for the title. The longer a girl waits to compete, the fewer opportunities she has to actually obtain the title. I wanted to wait until it was the right moment and until when I completely understood who I was and what I was capable of.
Five years prior to competing I set my mind on the goal of being Miss New Mexico USA. In those five years every one of my actions and choices were made with that goal in mind. I was involved in several on-campus organizations at my university in order to further my leadership skills and create relationships with people who shared my same interests. I even held the position of president in my sorority Zeta Tau Alpha I worked hard to obtain my marketing degree and graduated in the spring of 2009 with honors from New Mexico State University, knowing that with a degree behind me I could focus even more on being Miss New Mexico USA/Miss USA. I applied for Teach For America and after being accepted to the organization I immediately began my two-year commitment with the teaching corps in Gallup, NM in order to broaden my understanding of the world beyond my comfortable little bubble.
After my first year of teaching I had learned so much about working with children and some of the realities of living in a low-income rural community. I have challenged myself in new ways and discovered new skills that I never knew I had. All of these experiences gave me the confidence I needed and a greater understanding of myself. At that point I knew I was ready to take on the role of Miss New Mexico USA.
I just spent an hour reading your blog, I absolutely love it! Your positivity is contagious & outrageous! Have you always been optimistic or is it something you have learned?
Oh my, I’m incredibly flattered by your comments! Optimism is something that I think has always been dwelling inside of me, but there is always room for more. Since I was young I have chosen to surround myself with the most optimistic people, and I have found that to make a significant impact on my outlook towards life.
I also love reading books (Love & Sequins HOLLA!!) and listening to music that lifts my mood and enlightens my perspectives. I strive to look for the good in all people and situations, and I hope that through my blog I can encourage others to do the same.
I have discovered that positive thoughts generate positive realities, which create more positive thoughts and thus even more positive realities. It’s a win/win situation that I have chosen to invest all of my energy in.
In addition to being Miss New Mexico, you’re also a pre-kindergarten teacher through Teach For America! Have you always wanted to teach?
I love spending my day with quirky, amusing and brilliant four-year-olds. When it came to deciding my major in college I had no clue what I wanted to do. I did however know that I was not destined for one specific role. I decided then that marketing and advertising would be the most applicable area of study to all the jobs that interested me. Yes, I certainly had a lot of interest in the education field.
Thankfully, I was accepted into Teach For America and immediately began teaching after my graduation. After working as an educator for the past two years I certainly see this as a field that I would like to stay with for a while. I plan on earning a masters degree in early childhood development.
I would also like to apply the knowledge I have learned about young minds and my talent for painting to writing and illustrating children’s books. As a matter of fact, I am working on my first book right now!
What have you learned or gained most from participating in pageants?
I have learned a lot about who I am. It sounds cheesy, but when you are in a pageant you are putting yourself in a situation where you are basically screaming, “Judge me!! Judge me!!” Before you can be comfortable with that you absolutely need to know and understand who you are, what you are capable of, and what you represent.
I’ve put myself under a microscope and delved into all of the things that make me, ME. I’ve taken the courage to look within myself and discover what I truly love and what I want to change.
Without the skill to do this I wouldn’t have been nearly as successful in my career, education, relationships or community involvement.
I know that you’ve been competing in pageants for a while — have there ever been times when you felt discouraged or wanted to quit? What kept you going?
The one and only time I ever felt somewhat discouraged was at Miss Teen USA 2005. It was my second pageant, and I came from a very small state with few resources to prepare for nationals. Plus, back then; I still didn’t have the clearest understanding of what I had gotten myself into. I showed up for the competition (we had to be there for two weeks) and immediately began to doubt my abilities.
Fortunately, I knew enough then to stay positive and true to myself. I listened to inspirational music, journaled about my adventures, reflected on all of my preparations, focused on the exact vision of what I wanted, and worked on building meaningful relationships with the other girls. I began having fun and let the stress of the competition fizzle away.
It must have worked somehow because I landed in the top 15 on the night of the telecast and even advanced all the way to the top 10! I was so proud of myself for sticking to what I believed in and not allowing the stress of the competition bog me down.
Okay, since this is about beauty pageants, what are your favourite beauty products?
I love beauty products!!!!! I’m currently obsessed with:
Duo Eyelash Adhesive in black: I don’t know how I functioned before this.
Ardell False Eyelashes: I have tried every type of false eyelash under the sun and these little drugstore wonders take the cake hands down!
Fresh Umbrian Clay Treatment Bar: If you have any sort of skin problem on your face (blemish, dryness, shine) this baby will nip it in the butt.
Sultra Bombshell Curling Iron: This magic wand creates perfect, shiny curls in a flash. Plus you get to sport a super cute glove (MJ!).
MAC Cosmetics lipstick: “Shy Girl,” “Chatterbox” & “Myth” are my ultimate Mac fetishes.
Sevin Nyne Self-Tanning Lotion: I mix it with regular moisturizer & it’s flawless! It also has an addicting smell!
Any ole natural bristle body brush: detox, soften & firm in a matter of 5 minutes a day.
Pureology Pure Volume Shampoo & Conditioner: I simply love all Pureology products.
Clarisonic Skincare Brush: The perfect way to rid my face of all the gooey make-up. (Gala says: I LOVE THIS TOO & use it EVERY DAY!)
Korres Quercetin & Oak Antiwrinkle Night Cream: I love the smell & the magical powers.
Lush Ocean Salt Face & Body Scrub: Best scrub on Earth! An “at home” alternative would be organic sugar & lemon. Not many things are better than a freshly scrubbed face!
If/when (!) you win Miss USA (& we will all be cheering you on!), how will that change your life?
Oh thank you! Eek!
I will (!!) immediately fly off to New York City and begin my duties. It will be exciting to see myself thrive in an urban environment. I will move from my little rural New Mexican community to New York City (in a divine little apartment at Trump Tower!!) and travel the country and world advocating and educating on issues that are incredibly important, like breast and ovarian cancer, the achievement gap, and radical self-love.
A year as Miss USA will teach me incredible lessons, connect me with remarkable individuals, and empower me to continue my efforts to impact others and serve. I predict that after a year of acquiring valuable relationships and challenging myself to learn new skills, I will be able to take on the tasks that I have been working towards in stride. I will attend graduate school, write my children’s books, and establish an after school community center in high need areas that emphasize on art and music creativity and development.
On top of all this magic I would also have the opportunity to represent the USA (!!!!) at the Miss Universe competition. Since they’ve removed Pluto, the competition is not nearly as fierce!
Aside from meeting incredible women from across the globe, I would have such a sublime opportunity to showcase this marvelous country and vie for a title that will allow me to impact an even larger audience… The Universe!
...Loving people, all people. I am finally at a point in my life where I feel no ill feelings for anyone. I have worked so hard to get here and to choose other emotions over anger, jealousy or aggravation. I feel so free. So happy. So powerful. So blessed. So lucky. You can choose your emotions. You can choose peace and love in all situations. Wow. “I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.” ~Vincent van Gogh. (Happy Brittany)
I have all my fingers & toes crossed for Brittany’s quest to become Miss USA (&, of course, Miss Universe)! CONGRATULATIONS on all the wonderful, positive things you have done for your community so far, & here’s to many more years!
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i want to be
I Want To Be... A Background Actor!
[ 8 March 2011, 11:57 ]
Making movies is glamorous, fun & easy… right?! Well, that’s what people would have you believe, but it’s not necessarily the truth!
I recently spoke to Ashley about her experiences as a background actor, & thought her answers were so interesting! I never knew you could earn a living as a background actor, & though I knew the days were long, I didn’t know they were quite this long!
Hopefully if any of you have similar desires to go into movies, this interview will help give you little push you need!
Tell us about what you do.
I work as a background actor (extra, stand in, photo double) for TV and movies. My job means I could be an extra pushing a plastic doll in a stroller around the mall one day and photo doubling for an 11-year-old boy in a wheelchair the next.
What does an average day at work look like for you?
Every day is different since what I’m doing depends on the scene being filmed. Typically, the day starts with a call time between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m. (although there is the occasional night shoot, which might go from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m.), and I usually have an hour commute to set. I plan on filming lasting at least 12 hours with plenty of downtime. As an extra, I wait in holding until it is time to rehearse a shot and stay on set until the shot is completed. As a stand in, I keep close to set and take the place of the actor while the crew sets up the lights and cameras. As a photo double, I am made up to look like the actor and take the actor’s place on camera for a shot where the actor’s face is not needed. When I’m not needed on set, I read books and talk to the other extras or stand ins. After six hours, filming breaks for lunch, and everyone tries to relax before filming starts up again. My day ends between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m., and I rush home to catch up on email before going to sleep.
Do you work alone or with other people?
Movies are a collaborative process. As an extra, I work with the other background actors and take directions from various production assistants. As a stand in or photo double, I work with more of the crew such as the camera and assistant director departments.
Is this what you wanted to do as a child? Did you end up in this job by “accident” or was it a planned career choice?
Growing up, I always enjoyed performing. I was a dancer and figure skater and acted in the occasional children’s production at church. I did not seriously consider a career in movies until college. After I graduated, I had no clear career path, so I moved to L.A. to work as an extra and to learn what I could about how movies are made.
How long ago did you start on this path?
I started working as a background actor in 2008, and before that I acted in plays in college.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
A week after I moved to L.A, I started working full time as an extra. Basically, I had moved across the country with my cat and a handful of credit cards, so I had to start making a living right away. Even though I am no longer living in L.A., my primary form of income still comes from background work.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
I attended a talent conference in L.A. and decided that I had to move there and work in movies in any capacity I could. Not quite two months later, my bags were packed and I was moving to L.A.!
What kind of education do you have?
Going into college, I wanted to be either an embedded reporter or Indiana Jones, so I studied a broad range of subjects – journalism, anthropology, literature – and changed my major several times. I discovered that I watched a lot of TV while I “studied” and thought that it would be fun to work in TV and movies, so I started taking film and acting classes, too. I received my Bachelor’s from a state university and now like to describe my field of study as “Performance and Cultural Studies”.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
The great thing about being a background actor is that you don’t need any prior acting or movie experience in order to work on set. Extras aren’t just actors and film students but, also, realtors, optometrists, and teachers. The film industry revolves around who you know, so I think going to school for acting or film can be helpful for making connections and thus getting work. However, I, also, know people who spent a small fortune to attend acting schools and now work as extras. I believe the best qualification is experience, and working as a stand in is like being paid to go to film school.
If you went to school, did you enjoy studying? Could you see where it might lead you at the time? What advice would you give to someone else who might be studying to get into your industry?
I enjoyed studying in school and liked researching different topics for class. Going into college, I was interested in journalism and anthropology. If you had told me during my freshman year that I would work on movies, I never would have believed you. My junior and senior years of college I became more involved in theatre, and by the time I graduated, I knew that I had to work in the film industry. I think the most important part of working as a performer is gaining experience and meeting people who share your interests.
What do you think is the best thing about what you do?
There are so many things I love about what I do! I meet so many interesting people on set, and occasionally, I even get to meet a celebrity, like Hugh Jackman (who was so cool to everyone on set). I, also, get to work in interesting locations such as the Warner Bros. Studio, a stadium turned into a Styrofoam version of Vatican City, and quaint, little towns. Another thing I love is dressing up in costume, especially for period films, and pretending I live in a different time for the day.
What’s the worst thing?
The early mornings! I am not a morning person, but I often find myself waking up between 4:30-6:30 a.m. in order to make my call time.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
When I am working I have no life outside of the set – I’m too tired to do anything. The film industry feeds on workaholics, but for me at least, I’ll work like crazy for a month and then the next couple of months will be slow, so I don’t see myself as a true workaholic.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
If you want to work in movies, you don’t need to live in L.A. or New York. Many states are now offering film incentives, so contact your state’s film commission to find out what movies are being made in your area and ask for a list of reputable acting agencies. Working as a background actor is a great way to learn about the business for free.
...How about number two?
Make your own movies. The more I work on set the more I realize I want to be a director and producer because they control the working conditions on set. By making your own movies, you can set your own schedule and be free to experiment and learn about the process.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
Movie making is not glamorous. Working on set can be emotionally grueling and set conditions can be pretty bad at times – no bathrooms, awful weather conditions, yelling. Also, do not underestimate the power of boredom. Although life on set isn’t glamorous, just being a part of something bigger than yourself can be an amazing feeling.
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
People have this misconception that being an extra is an easy job where you chill out and talk to celebrities all day. Background actors get little respect for a job that is very necessary to creating the look of the film.
Do you ever have any ethical dilemmas with the work you do?
It’s important to remain true to who you are and not conform to someone else’s standard of beauty or behavior. There is always the possibility that someone is going to ask you to compromise, but so far, I have been able to avoid any ethical dilemmas.
What is the best thing that’s happened to you as a consequence of the work you do?
I’ve learned a lot about myself since I started working as a background actor, and I’ve met a lot of great people. I really think meeting interesting people is the best part about being a background actor because you never know whom you are sitting next to. One afternoon, I met a lady in the background who had had a role on Lost, and it was so interesting hearing her talk about her experiences.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
Even on bad days, my love of the filming process makes me want to keep working. When I work on an awful set, I think of ways to do it better so that when I’m the director or producer people will have a good time working.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
I admire Sophia Coppola, who is a brilliant writer and director and who, also, was a background actor, and Emma Thompson, who is a wonderful actress and writer as well. They inspire me to explore different facets of filmmaking and to not be afraid to make my own movies.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
My happiness on an average day is probably in the 90’s. I like to think my best day hasn’t happened yet, and I hope my worst day is in the past.
Is there much career progression available to you? What would you like to do next?
There isn’t a traditional career ladder for me. If you want a role in a movie you need to audition for it; very rarely does a director give a line to an extra. I am interested in acting, writing, directing, and producing my own films, so I am working on filming some short films
Do you think you’ll continue doing this for the rest of your life?
I don’t see myself working as a background actor forever, but I definitely want to keep working in the film industry!
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i want to beI Want To Be... A Model Scout!
[ 1 March 2011, 10:52 ]
I recently started talking to Milly from Fresh Fashion Faces, a model scouting agency based in London, & knew she would be a perfect candidate for a career interview!
She is so lovely & upbeat, & she was really excited to share as much information about her industry as possible—mixed with lots of glamour, celebrity sightings & first class airfares, of course! Here’s what she has to say about the world of model scouting—enjoy!
Tell us about what you do.
I am an independent model scout! Basically I scout models for a living, be it on the street or online. I always have my eye out for potential models wherever I go. I used to work for an agency, but got itchy feet and decided to go it alone. Now I scout the models, and get in touch with all the leading agencies who take a look at the girls/and or guys I have found and decide whether they might be interested in signing them. Sometimes they will sign them off photos alone, other times it is a longer process with going to the agencies for test shoots etc. If they get signed that’s where I make my money.
What does an average day at work look like for you?
Generally there are two average days for me depending whether I am out scouting the streets or not. If I am working from home, I get up around 9am, take out my dog Moo Moo for a walk and make a huge cup of coffee (it’s a problem I swear!), then will get to my desk and check my emails. I get a lot of submissions for new faces so I tend to look at them first, marking any who have caught my eye in particular. Then I check any mail I have from agencies, replying to any enquires about any of my models and arranging a meeting if possible.
As I live in London, but scout girls and guys from all over the world, I have to make sure that a contract has been signed by the agency to say that they will not act on signing the model before we have negotiated a fee or commission from their earnings. With time differences this can be difficult as many want to speak on the phone, and also language barriers!
I would then normally have a look on sites such as lookbook.nu, Model Mayhem and Facebook and see if anyone catches my eye and if so, get in touch.
I tend to have a break in the afternoon, go grab coffee with friends, go shopping, do a bit of scouting out and about. I work best at night time for some reason, and am lucky that a lot of the time I am speaking with agents in the USA and South America, or Australia or Asia so it works well. I will also check in with my scouts (I have around 4 of them working for me now) and see if they have found anyone, if so take a look at the photos and make a decision on whether I think the agencies will be interested. It’s then chill time!
However if I am out scouting, it’s a much earlier start. I tend to get out around seven thirty, in London it is peak time to see people, going to school, work etc. It’s very much a split decision on whether I approach them, with people always going so fast in London I literally have to go on instinct. I will firstly ask their height (being only 5’5 myself, I wear heels a lot so you need to make sure you’re aware of that). If they are of 5’7 (minimum) I will take some Polaroids of them, (not actually Polaroids anymore :( but digital snaps), take down some details and then carry on!
On a good day I will probably stop and photograph around twenty girls/guys, I will then go home and upload the photos. It’s hard to tell in person, as some people are great in person but just cannot photograph. If however I think they have a good look, I will email them and ask for more details.
I am lucky that I travel all over scouting, all over the UK, and Europe. I will often get cheap European deals for the weekend and just scout for the weekend, but as my business has been taking off it’s given me the chance to go further a field, which is great for me as I love to travel!
Do you work alone or with other people?
Primarily I work alone. I will sometimes drag my friends along scouting, but they soon get bored and cant understand how I will literally chase people down the street in order to speak to them. But you have to be a people person, and pretty OK with talking to strangers on a daily basis. So I guess in a way you don’t work alone, you work with the general public!
I do have scouts that work for me now though, but they live all over so I only really meet up with them every couple of months to kind of go through how things are going, what kind of girls/guys we are looking for at that time etc.
Is this what you wanted to do as a child? Did you end up in this job by “accident” or was it a planned career choice?
God no! As a child I was all set on being a marine biologist and saving the whales!
I ended up in this career purely by fluke really, I was helping my friend out who was putting on a charity fashion show, and one of the girls there really caught my eye. I asked her if she had agency representation and she didn’t, so I took some photos and pretty much just got in touch with agencies by finding them on Google. One of them got back to me and asked if they could see her, so we went down to London together and she was signed on the spot. They asked me how long I had been scouting, and I was like, “Oh I haven’t really”. They then asked if I would like to work on a commission basis for them. So I thought I had nothing to lose, so agreed.
I started scouting then, and within a year had twenty girls signed. I was then offered a full time scouting position with them and worked for them for three years.
A lot of scouts go on to be bookers for the agency (someone who signs the models) but it has never really been something that interested me, I like being out and about!
I decided then to go it alone and scout for myself giving me the opportunity to work with lots of major agencies. The agency I worked for had one look they really liked, and I was bored of scouting the same look I guess. So that’s when I went it alone, which was just over a year ago. I have been building up the business ever since and luckily it has really grown, I now have great contacts and a good reputation as a scout.
How long ago did you start on this path?
I first started scouting in 2005, but at that point I was still working as a support worker for people with mental health problems! (Total career change I know!) In 2006 I started working full time for an agency, and in 2009 started my own scouting business!
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
The first year I worked on a commission basis and continued with the support work I was doing. When I went full time with the agency that’s when I was able to do it as my main source of income but at that point I was on a salary.
When I started going it alone, I went back working part time as a support worker as it wasn’t bringing in enough money for me to live off. I was working crazy hours, but I felt like I had to try, and luckily it paid off. I stopped doing support work in around June this year, which was a real high for me. Being able to do something I love, something that is my own, was an amazing feeling. Since then I have taken on scouts who work on a commission basis but I would love eventually to be able to pay them a salary.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
I guess it was pure luck really. It’s not a career path that I would have thought about. I mean I loved watching shows like Americas Next Top Model, and if there had been an advert for scouts I would have thought, ‘Oh that’s something I could do!’ But at the time I lived in a small city further north and it wasn’t really something that crossed my mind.
I would say that it was luck that I was working at the fashion show, that I saw some potential in someone, that an agency signed them. However it hasn’t been easy, and starting out on my own has definitely been something that has taken steps. I have been lucky that I seem to have an eye for potential modeling talent, a lot of scouts tend to be ex-models (which is definitely not me!), so they know the industry, or people who want to get into fashion start scouting. There aren’t however many independent scouts, most work for agencies, or are bookers who also work as scouts.
What kind of education do you have?
I have a degree in Journalism, Film, Broadcasting and Sociology. I never really knew what I wanted to do, so I did a course that took my fancy but haven’t really ever used it! I guess it has given me a level of education that has helped me in some respects but it’s something that I would reconsider doing if I could go back.
However I did have a brilliant time at university and made some life long friends so in that respect I am really glad I went.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
In this industry it is much more about networking and knowing the right people by making contacts. A lot of people who go into the industry do have a fashion based degree, but to be honest most people work their way up. It’s more about having an eye for scouting the models than anything else, and I don’t think that’s something you can necessarily learn.
It’s really about starting out at the bottom and getting a name for yourself as a scout. Once you have a reputation for scouting great talent then people will be in touch with you more, and look at your girls. To begin with it can be really hard if the agency hasn’t heard of you, they might not even open your emails. They get literally hundreds of applications a day for people to be models, so it’s really about perseverance and pushing to get to know the right people.
If you went to school, did you enjoy studying? Could you see where it might lead you at the time? What advice would you give to someone else who might be studying to get into your industry?
I did enjoy school and university but at the time I had no idea what I wanted to do. I thought I wanted to be a journalist, but that never really happened—I didn’t want it badly enough I don’t think.
I guess at the time I felt very lost, leaving university with lots of expectations of jobs falling into my lap was my attitude and when that didn’t happen I was a bit like, ‘What now?’
I did lots of jobs that didn’t last long, and then became a support worker. As much as I loved doing that job, I knew that it wasn’t quite right for me and it all kind of clicked when I became a scout.
If someone wants to be a scout I would say go for it. If you’re in education and want to do something that is in the right direction then you can’t go wrong with a fashion based degree. However, it’s not an absolute must by any means. I would say get as much work experience as you can, offer to work at an agency near you, get involved with fashion events (it’s a great way to meet people and models), apply for an internship, and just get a feel for the industry. Read fashion magazines, get an eye for models, check out girls/guys when you’re on the street!
Milly!
What do you think is the best thing about what you do?
There are quite a few perks to my job, very often if an agency abroad likes a model of mine I get to go out to the agency with them, which is always fun! I’m very lucky in this respect.
I also get to go to a lot of fashion shows and events that I wouldn’t if I didn’t scout and wasn’t in the industry. But as cheesy as it sounds the best bit of my job is when one of my models get signed, when I see them in a campaign or on the runway it gives me a real buzz thinking I helped get them there! Helping someone else make their dream come true is a really lovely feeling to have!
What’s the worst thing?
It can be a very shallow industry, and it has a lot of bitching and that’s really not me. I also hate it when I can’t get a model I scouted signed, I never make them any promises but it’s hard when you have run out of resources to help them and let them go.
It’s also hard when I am scouting all day every day for a week and hardly scout anyone. I also never really switch off, wherever I go I am always looking for models, checking people out!
I also don’t like the fact that the industry is so set on skinny models. I do scout ‘real women’ for the plus size and also petite but I wish the market was more open for them. It’s also horrible when my models are told to lose weight, I don’t ever tell them to lose weight, I have seen many girls and guys get eating disorders and I would hate to feel responsible for that.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
My business is my baby and I would say I am a workaholic to some degree. I often work seventy hour weeks and as I said earlier I never really switch off. I think this industry does have long working hours in general, especially when it is fashion week, but I love what I do.
I always give myself a quota to find so many models per day I am scouting, and am pretty competitive with myself! This industry is all about who you know to some degree, so you need to really put the effort in with the agencies, and pursue, pursue, pursue. I work well into the night a lot of the time due to working with agencies all around the world, but that’s my favourite time to work!
It’s definitely an industry and job that you need to be able to work around the clock, so definitely not for someone who wants to work 9-5.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
My number one suggestion would be get as much experience as you can, ask to intern at agencies, volunteer at fashion weeks, build up a name for yourself and get to know as many people in the industry as possible. Read all the fashion magazines, check up on the websites of leading agencies to see the type of girls/guys they have. Network, network, network is the key!
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
Stay grounded, and don’t get swept up in the bitch factor and/or image obsession. The amount of times I have been offered drugs, heard girls talk about how they stay so skinny, and how famous they are. I am the same girl from the countryside who made mud pies and didn’t brush her hair for days as I am now! I am not the skinniest person and never will be, I am not someone who finds bitching about other girls something to be proud of or interact with.
So many people are LOVELY, but you do have to watch yourself, people are always ready to tread on you to get what they want. People are also really blunt, and you have to not take it personally, it’s just the nature of the business. I am making it sound horrid, but I love what I do! You just have to know the land mines!
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
The fact a lot of people who want to be scouts think you have to have been a model, or work their way up from an agency. Truth is, anyone can be a scout, it just needs hard work, determination, a good eye for talent, and an ambitious nature. It’s very hard to become a scout for a major agency without a lot of work experience and contacts.
Going it alone is scary, and I would never have done it if I hadn’t worked for an agency before, but I now try to bring on scouts, to get experience, get a feel for the industry. I am going to say to anyone that may want to go down this path they can always email me.
Do you ever have any ethical dilemmas with the work you do?
The biggest ethical dilemma for me is definitely weight. I refuse to look after and work with models if they are clearly suffering from an eating disorder, VERY underweight, and/or using drugs to keep their weight down.
One model I scouted had a BMI of 14 and I told her to come back to me once she had gained a bit of weight. Later on she was signed by a top ten agency without my help but skinnier than ever.
To me health is so important that I am willing to give up a big deal, it doesn’t feel right. I would also never tell a model to lose weight, I just won’t. Obviously there are restrictions on weight, but I am a big advocate for the plus size industry, I have scouted many girls who are plus size who are gorgeous. No career is worth your health, both mental and physical.
What is the best thing that’s happened to you as a consequence of the work you do?
Flying first class to New York fashion week and sitting next to the Olsen twins at a show was a bizarre experience but yet an amazing one! Hearing the model I had signed telling people that my site had got her signed made me realise how lucky I was to do a job I love.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
I believe in my models, and also it pays the bills! But I don’t do it for that reason, I love my job. It incorporates my love of working with people, fashion and making people’s dreams come true! It has also given me the chance to really push for more ‘real women’ petite, plus size, etc. to be in campaigns, especially now I know the agencies. There really is no better feeling than a model you scouted getting a deal, and then gracing the campaign for a major label.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
I guess I would have to say some of the agencies, especially Ford Models. They have such a fantastic reputation, are major players in industry but are just LOVELY. They have time for everyone, have an amazing plus size division, and are just a pleasure to work with. Some agencies think they are above you, but not Ford.
Even in my early days as a scout, the head NY new faces booker would reply to every email I sent, and was always nothing but lovely and kind. Compared to some agencies who are not known to be in the ‘top agencies’ they were a dream to work with, attitudes at Ford are truly grounded.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
Average day? 80. So mostly good!
Is there much career progression available to you? What would you like to do next?
I mean I could hope to become a booker, that would be the most usual career path for a scout, but it doesn’t interest me. I would love to open my own agency eventually, that would be my dream. But Fresh Fashion Faces has literally just taken off, so it’s going to be a while. I love scouting, no day is ever the same so it’s always fresh and new really!
Do you think you’ll continue doing this for the rest of your life?
I would like to think so. I do love my job. I would love to get offices, have scouts all over the wold, and find the next top models!
It’s such a random career for me, but one I wouldn’t change, I adore it. I would say to anyone who feels dread about going to work on a Monday then you are in the wrong career.
It’s hard, and it’s probably only going to get harder—but doing something you love is worth all the money in the world to me. I don’t need to be rich and powerful. If I can pay my way and love my job at the same time then I will be happy.
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i want to beI Want To... Work At A Domestic Violence Shelter
[ 26 January 2011, 10:38 ]
I received an email from Lizz last year which said…
I saw on your interview with Sayward Rebhal that she contacted you about being a part of the series, and I didn’t even realize you could do that! I’m currently a resident advocate at a domestic violence shelter; essentially, when I’m on shift I work as a house mom/counselor/crisis line operator/jane of all trades. I’ve been working at this job fairly briefly, but I’ve been volunteering in the field for over a year, and I know it’s ultimately what I want to make a career out of (although I know that means it will manifest into something different within the field itself). All that said, whenever I tell people what I do, they always comment about how they don’t understand how someone could be involved in that, they wish they knew how people take the emotional toll, they would like to get involved, etc. I love talking about my experience because there are a lot of misconceptions about domestic violence and the women who come through these kinds of shelters; my experience dispels a lot of the misinformation that perpetuates those misconceptions. Also, working with these women has vastly altered my perspective on humanity, as well as the way I approach the world and my relationships. I’m so invested that my head is there about 95% of the time—even when I’m not working! I would love to contribute, if that sounds like something that would be a good fit!
Of course I wanted her to contribute! I can think of few worthier causes. Here’s our interview, & if you have additional questions for her (or you just want to know more about her!), check out her blog!
Tell us about what you do.
I work as a Resident Advocate in a domestic violence shelter for a non-profit organization that runs three shelters in total (two homeless, one DV). What that means is that I’m essentially a house mom/counselor/crisis line operator/office assistant/jane-of-all-trades.
What does an average day at work look like for you?
I tend to work the evening shift, which means my day starts in the middle of the afternoon. The shifts overlap a little bit so that the person finishing their shift can meet with the person coming on, and let them know what happened within the house, what the general energy is, if there was any drama amongst the women, if we’re expecting any new intakes, if anyone exited the shelter for good, and anything else that seems pertinent. After that, I do a walkthrough of the shelter, say hi to the ladies who are home, and go back to the office to settle in for my shift. Usually at that point, I call to check the availability of the other shelters (the DV shelter runs the crisis line that does all of the intakes for our organization), I check in to see if there’s any other important information left from other coworkers regarding the shelter, and prioritize what I need to get done for the day.
Like any other non-profit, we have a strong team that works really hard on keeping things running smoothly, but there’s so much work to be done that it can feel like we’re constantly playing catch up. Usually I have my own little projects I assign to myself, since I can’t stand to be bored—whether that’s reorganizing a closet, cleaning up client files, updating signs/referrals, etc., I’m always trying to do something with myself that can help all of our team have one less thing to deal with.
The clients often come in and ask for things (to look up directions, to brainstorm on job/house searching, or for basic little stuff, like toiletries or cleaning supplies), and whoever is on staff does a walkthrough of the premises regularly to ensure that everything is calm and safe. The vast majority of time on shift, though, is spent listening. Whether the ladies in the shelter are having a day full of triumph or disaster, they often want to talk about it, and part of my job is just to be available for them to vent, rant, cry, share their frustrations or their successes. It is simultaneously one of the most difficult and most rewarding aspects of my job.
Other than what I’ve already mentioned, everything else is in a constant flux, and never predictable. Sometimes there will be major conflict between residents, that can require staff mediation. One of our staff members does an amazing job of planning celebrations (birthdays, baby showers), and she makes it a party for everyone, staff and residents alike, and so when one of those goes down, whoever is there is running around trying to help and wrangle people. Often I’ll have to pick up an intake, which can take a good amount of time; the first few days in the shelter are the hardest, and usually a woman coming in has a very high level of anxiety and stress, which means that a good chunk of that shift will be spent with her, doing paperwork and talking out the situation that she’s coming from. Sometimes I’ll have to deliver an exit letter, which is essentially telling the resident that they have to leave. Each day can range from relaxed to completely insane, depending on the dynamic of the house, how busy the crisis line is, how each woman’s day went, and what decisions are being made by the higher ups in the program.
Do you work alone or with other people?
Both, really! RAs can be pretty isolated because there’s only one person on shift at a time, but we still have a support network that enables us to do our jobs well. We still have staff meetings, RA retreats, and the overlap between shifts to communicate, support, and pass on work that we couldn’t get to on our shift (we work as a team by “passing on the baton,” so to speak). We also rely on our on-call person for urgent inquiries and other support. Whenever we’ve had an intense conversation, mediated a conflict, or dealt with a resident lashing out on us, we can use our on-call as a consult for what to do, as well as for emotional/mental support.
Is this what you wanted to do as a child? Did you end up in this job by “accident” or was it a planned career choice?
This is DEFINITELY not what I saw myself doing as a child! I grew up in the arts, and for a long time, it seemed obvious that an artistic pathway was my calling. I started doing theatre and dance at three, played piano from seven until about fourteen, went to a performing & fine arts high school, and eventually went to a private arts university for photography. I ended up dropping out of that private arts university for financial and family health reasons, which was utterly devastating. I worked a series of awful, unsatisfying jobs (ranging from a bookstore to a restaurant to a semi-corporate job in a hotel’s sales office), and kept trying to go back to school, but with little success. My setbacks were huge, and I didn’t have the emotional capacity to take on the gravity of the events in my personal life while focusing on school.
I’d always been an avid reader, even when not immersed in academia, and I spent a lot of time reading books from the sociology and women’s studies section of the bookstore, which planted the seed in my head. When I returned to school, all that I’d read encouraged me to immerse myself in a Sociology course or two, which in turn, made me realize how much I wanted to improve the lives of others. Despite my love for the arts, became clear to me that if I was going to be a broke, working class chick for the rest of my life, I might as well do something to improve the world while I’m at it. I had a professor that was also working as an advocate for sexual assault survivors (specifically women and children) in a local district attorney’s office. When she told our class a little bit about what she did, I thought, “That is exactly what I want to be doing.” I talked to her, she gave me some referrals for volunteering, and then that led me here!
How long ago did you start on this path?
Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I believe that this path started back when I became a survivor of domestic violence. It took me a long time to recognize that what happened within my relationship was abusive and absolutely not ok. Reconciling the idea that someone who I loved, and who I thought loved me, could do such terrible, destructive things to me (and to themselves) was extremely difficult. However, once I did, I stepped on the pathway to women’s advocacy. The first step was becoming an advocate for myself.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I’d been volunteering for a domestic violence non-profit based out of San Francisco for about seven months before getting hired at my current agency. Even so, I had two other jobs at the time, and this didn’t become my main gig until September/October of this year.
What kind of education do you have?
I am currently a four time college drop out. After dropping out of the private university, I kept trying to go back to community college while working two (or three) jobs at the same time, and really struggled. After taking two years off, it got harder. What they say is true: It really is much more difficult to go back to school after working instead of just suffering through it. I’ve made it a priority to keep reading and researching on my own, and I’ve made it possible to return back to school in the spring, which I’m eagerly looking forward to.
Other than that: I’m a state certified domestic violence counselor, which means I went through forty hours of training that included peer counseling techniques, statistical and historical facts, detailed information about Battered Women’s Syndrome and the specific psychology surrounding intimate partner violence.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
I know that many of my coworkers do not have official degrees. Instead, they have work experience and a passion for working with women who need help. However, I know for a fact that any advancement is significantly predicated on having a post-secondary degree. It’s fantastic to get involved and get the work experience, but to advance and make a career out of this kind of job, one needs to get an education.
If you went to school, did you enjoy studying? Could you see where it might lead you at the time? What advice would you give to someone else who might be studying to get into your industry?
As I said before, I’m a college dropout who is returning to school, so this question isn’t entirely applicable. I do want to say, though, that the classes I have taken (even General Education classes) have significantly improved my ability to succeed at my job. Communications classes? The best way to help people is to know how to communicate with them, and that means all of them. Sociology classes? Knowing about privilege and the way society is socially constructed is hugely important to empathizing and understanding what each of our clients face when they try to re-enter the world as autonomous women. Any class that requires you to research? I have used so much of this skill in a huge variety of ways, whether it’s looking up the answer to an obscure question about work or housing or California law, or learning more about mental illness and substance abuse, or additional counseling techniques. The way that this job made these classes more meaningful is a huge factor in my decision to return to school.
What do you think is the best thing about what you do?
Sharing the successes of the women who are in the midst of dealing with one of the most horrible experiences of their life. The feeling that comes when I know that they are allowing me to be part of their healing. The way that I can see the positive effect I’m having on my community and my world.. The inspiration that comes when I see firsthand their generosity, their sense of humor (that arrives even during their darkest moments), and their unfailing kindness.
What’s the worst thing?
Watching them sabotage one another. Often times, women enter the shelter in pure survival mode, which can manifest itself as stolen items, intentionally destroyed personal items, or flat out aggression and blatant arguments. It’s really disappointing to see women who are coming from equally horrific situations to take it out on one another.
What’s even worse than that is watching a woman break down as she realizes the people around her are abandoning her in her greatest time of need. Listening to a woman with children plead with her parents to defend her in court against her abuser’s lies, saying, “For God’s sake, tell them I’m not crazy!” and crying because her family’s excuse for not helping is that they “don’t want to get involved”. It’s devastating to watch, and the logic behind it is completely unfathomable to me.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
Yes, and yes. I have to remind myself to sometimes take it easy, and not beat myself up when I have an off night (read: slightly slower and less productive than hyper-crazy-productive).
I absolutely think this is normal. My coworkers are equally invested, emotionally, physically, and sometimes even financially. It’s not uncommon that someone will call on their day off to check in and see what happened with a resident, or just see how things are going at the house. It’s impossible not to get sucked into this work because of how we get to know these women. We truly see them at both their best and worst, which is an intimate process when you consider the fact that when these women come in, we are complete strangers to them. Plus, almost everyone I know got involved in this work because they felt fervently compelled to help others who were in need. Starting at a high level of investment creates inevitable workaholism.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Start learning about domestic violence. I’d bet that there are things about DV that you do not know, and never guessed. Even if you are a well-versed feminist, I would be shocked if you don’t learn a thing or two that challenges your own prejudices and the way you approach the world.
...How about number two?
Start volunteering! The best thing you can do is get involved with your local organizations that work with women and children. You can see if you like it, ease into it, and start getting a feel for what aspect of this world you’d like to be a part of. Plus, your best way to get experience and make the connections required to get a job is to volunteer, volunteer, volunteer.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
I wish I’d been prepared for the changes that happened in me as a result of working with these women. And I wish I’d understood how secondary trauma manifests itself. I knew that hearing stories of abuse and trauma would affect me, but I thought it would be immediate. I thought I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from bursting into tears or being openly devastated for the next 24 hours. It’s much more subtle than that, though. I also didn’t realize how working with these women would change my ability to establish and uphold my boundaries within my relationships, how it would change what I’m willing to tolerate from my own romantic partners, and even the kinds of jokes I like. It has changed my entire perspective of the world, and of people, and I wish I’d had more of an understanding as to how deep that shift would be.
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
Oh, goodness. Yes. There are a lot of classist, racist, and otherwise prejudiced assumptions about the women who come through our shelters and there’s a lot of misinformation about domestic violence as a whole. There’s a wide range of women who come through our shelters, from a variety of socioeconomic classes. Some are very well educated. Some are very mentally ill. Some have major substance abuse issues. Some have been homeless their entire lives. Some have absolutely never been homeless before. Some have well paying, full time jobs, and some can’t work at all. There is a wide range of women who come through here, and it’s not because they are stupid, lazy, or because they “deserved it”.
Do you ever have any ethical dilemmas with the work you do?
The only time there’s any kind of dilemma is when we have to ask someone to leave, and they don’t have anywhere to go. Especially if it’s a woman with children. Unfortunately, though, if it gets to the point where we have to ask someone to leave, we usually have done everything possible to make their stay here successful, and they simply aren’t ready to move forward, which can manifest itself in a plethora of rotten behaviors.
What is the best thing that’s happened to you as a consequence of the work you do?
The inspiration that these women give me. My life has new meaning and purpose because of their strength and sense of humor. If they can do what they do, then I can do anything, and there is no reason not to pursue my goals with unstoppable optimism and determination.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
Knowing that I’m not alone in the effort to assist these women and help end domestic violence. There is a huge support network of women (and men!) who help keep my agency, as well as many others, open and running. No matter how hard things get, no matter how much ignorance is out there, no matter how scary this job can be, I know that I’m not carrying the burden alone. We are all in this together, working to support and improve our community. That keeps me going.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
I would say I deeply admire Eve Ensler, Cindy Gallop, and Margaret Cho for their feminism and activism—I don’t know if they count since they aren’t necessarily in my industry, but I think the work they do is definitely connected and worthy of admiration. Other than that, I would say that my coworkers are the most amazing people. I am continually shocked and impressed with their intelligence, compassion, cleverness, and insight. They come from all different backgrounds, with different lives and motivations, and we all manage to work together as a team. My supervisor is especially a hero to me—she has encouraged me when I’m breaking down, she has reminded me that I’m entirely capable at succeeding when I’ve felt like giving up, and she’s completely inspired me to follow in her footsteps. She is deeply respected by all of the residents, and she is the rock of support to our team. I am so proud to work under such an incredible woman and person.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
That’s really hard to say. I would say on an average day, it would probably be at around 85. Mostly because the average day is filled with average stuff like administrative tasks and menial shift duties. There are days that hit 0 (how many times have I cried while waiting for the BART train, or while driving home? how many times have I gone to sit in my local dive bar, only to be served free drinks by a sympathetic bartender who can see from the look on my face that I had a rough one?), and there are days that exceed the 100 (the baby shower we organized for one of the ladies in the shelter, the days when someone excitedly leaves to go to their own apartment). But for the most part, things run at 85.
Is there much career progression available to you? What would you like to do next?
There is definitely room for advancement, both within this organization and others, but most of the advancement does require an education. What I’d like to do next is get at least an Associate’s Degree—that’s a start! Other than that, I’d love to get involved in case management, and I’d love to learn more about non-profit business management so that I can start writing grants. Those are my goals for the next few years.
Do you think you’ll continue doing this for the rest of your life?
In one way or another, absolutely. Even if my career path changes, I see myself always volunteering or otherwise being involved in this world. It is both the hardest and most gratifying thing I have ever done. I am indebted to these women for what they have given me, and how they allow me to help them to the best of my abilities. I am indebted to the agency I work for because of the opportunities they’ve given me. This job constantly reminds me that the world is here, this is my life, and it is amazing.
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lifeI Want To Be... A Lifestreamer!
[ 19 January 2011, 09:36 ]
Jessica & Kelly.
Jessica Mullen’s career path is purely her own: she’s a lifestreamer! What is lifestreaming? It’s an ongoing record of your life, stored online & made accessible to anyone who might be interested.
You might be surprised to hear that it’s also a legitimate way of making a living. (I know I was!) In this interview, Jessica opens up about how lifestreaming has changed her & what you need to know if you’d like to do it, too!
Tell us about what you do.
I am in the business of being. My business model is to figure out how to feel good, follow my inspiration, and share what unfolds. If it makes me feel good, you’ll hear about it.
My personal website, jessicamullen.com is currently home to The School of Life Design, an ad-hoc curriculum created to disseminate my lifestreaming research. The School follows principles similar to graphic design and promotes self-evaluation and self-actualization through iteration.
My Complete Lifestream is a real-time collection of what makes me feel good throughout the day. I maintain my focus on well being by taking special note of an obscenely gorgeous sunset or immortalizing an exquisite kale salad. I collect the most powerful of these thoughts, emotions, and adventures into long-form joy explosions. These rampages, in which I turn my attention towards gratitude, intentions, desires and love, are magick spells I weave to attract more good into my life.
The Popular Podcast is a video lifestyle podcast based in Austin, Texas. Co-created with my business partner and lover, Kelly Cree, in June 2008, The Popular Podcast boasts an over 300-episode (and counting) video archive of Kelly’s and my journey to $ustainable lifestreaming. Though it’s constantly changing, the present goal of TPP is to show others how fun and easy it can be to make your life your living.
I maintain an income stream portfolio as diverse as my interests. I make money through advertising, affiliate programs, donations, fan club subscriptions, merchandise, and sponsorships. Kelly and I also run a tiny vegan food business for our friends, sell underwater fetish videos, and peddle our wares on the bridges of Austin.
What does an average day at work look like for you?
There are three things that I MUST do every single day: write a “magick spell“ post, meditate, and exercise. I consider all of them to be my primary work, because without them I don’t feel right – I don’t get the inspiration to do good work throughout the day.
I wake up sometime before noon and immediately start writing down what I’m grateful for. This forms the beginning of a “magick spell” post. It’s how I line up my energy in the morning, almost like brushing my teeth – I make sure my emotions are all bright and shiny before talking to anyone!
I meditate to clean out mental cobwebs and forget about anything that’s bothering me. Then I go for a walk or a run for an energy boost and to feel good about my body.
After that, anything is possible! Often, Kelly and I will work on editing and publishing podcast videos for an hour or two, and I’ll spend another couple hours writing or brainstorming for the School of Life Design. Website design and maintenance takes up some time too, but we address those needs as they come.
The rest of the day is spent cooking, exploring beautiful Austin, making art and spending time with people I love. It’s almost all “work,” because the experiences inevitably end up on one of my sites in some form.
Do you work alone or with other people?
Kelly and I are partners in almost everything we do. We make the podcast together, and she’s the creative and communications director for the school. We spend all day every day together, so we are constantly brainstorming new business ideas and ways to have more fun.
Is this what you wanted to do as a child? Did you end up in this job by “accident” or was it a planned career choice?
I remember wanting to be a teacher and wanting to create constantly. When I first got access to a computer, I would color all day in a Sesame Street painting program. When I got Internet, I started learning how to make websites to promote my band. I didn’t have any solid plans other than knowing it would involve computers. Lifestreaming didn’t really exist when I was a kid, but if you had told me what it was I would have wanted to do it for sure!
How long ago did you start on this path?
I’ve always enjoyed making websites and online journaling, but it didn’t come together into the title of “lifestreamer” until graduate school in 2008. As a web designer, I was obsessed with bringing all of my online activity into one place. I heard of the idea of “lifecasting” from Julia Allison and found out what “lifestreaming” was through Mark Krynsky at lifestreamblog.com. It was like I found my holy grail and all my research became about experimenting with lifestreaming.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
Luckily I was in school with student loans while getting started. Graduate school was a way to literally buy time to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life, and I got to focus all my schoolwork on what is now my livelihood. Kelly and I did lots of exploration into monetization and content generation. When I graduated in May of 2010, we began making it our business to feel good, and all our good business ideas followed.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
I learned about the law of attraction last spring! The actual websites and technical bits were mostly developed as school projects, but it wasn’t until Kelly and I started focusing on feeling good that our business took off. All of those platitudes like “give what you want to get” and “you bring about what you think about” are true! When I learned to practice positive thought patterns all the time, my life became a lot more pleasurable.
What kind of education do you have?
I went to Catholic school through 12th grade, received my BFA in graphic design from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in 2005 and my MFA in design from the University of Texas at Austin in 2010.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
No! Anyone can be good at lifestreaming. After you do it for a while, your website becomes your credentials. People get to see what you do every day. They get to see what you’re working on right now, not a piece of paper saying what you used to do.
If you went to school, did you enjoy studying? Could you see where it might lead you at the time? What advice would you give to someone else who might be studying to get into your industry?
When I first got to undergrad, I studied computer science. I couldn’t pass Calculus II, so I had to find something a little more my style. I settled on graphic design because I loved making websites and figured the two must meet somewhere.
I began really taking interest in my studies after an image-making class where I got to make disturbing pictures in Photoshop all semester. Then I had a fabulous mentor, Jennifer Gunji, who showed me what it was like to feel passionate about solving problems with design. Once I became a good graphic designer, the next logical step was to get a job at a design firm in Chicago. I designed websites and print publications at my first (and only) day job, but realized very quickly I did not want to work for anyone else but myself! I freelanced and taught web design for a while, but then went back to school to figure out what I loved.
If you’re interested in getting into lifestreaming, just start doing it. Don’t go to school! Everything you need to learn is online. Your mentors don’t have to be university professors. I LOVED my education but if I had known about lifestreaming before graduate school, I could have saved a lot of money!
What do you think is the best thing about what you do?
I do whatever I want, every single day. No one ever tells me what to do.
What’s the worst thing?
No one ever tells me what to do!
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
I am a workaholic in the sense that I love doing what I do, and do it all day every day. But it doesn’t feel like work, because it’s so integrated into my life and it feels so good to create. It’s quite normal–many bloggers are successful because they make doing what they love their living by putting it online for other people to enjoy.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Love yourself unconditionally. If you don’t love yourself, it shows through. Major turnoff!
...How about number two?
Don’t care about what anyone else thinks. Comments, Facebook, and Twitter can make us a little dependent on external opinions to make decisions. But the only way to find what makes you feel good is to listen to your emotions.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
Life doesn’t have to be hard! If I just feel good and do what I’m inspired to do, everything works out!
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
Lifestreamers can be seen as very narcissistic. I choose to look at it as radical self love!
Some people think lifestreaming is too time-consuming, but it’s just a natural part of my life, like breathing.
Others find lifestreaming distracting from “living in the moment,” but it helps me slow down and appreciate more moments than ever before.
My father worries about my reputation and ability to get a “real job” because I’m so vocal, but the whole point is to be loud enough to never need a real job!
Do you ever have any ethical dilemmas with the work you do?
A few people don’t like being documented online, so I have to avoid discussing them or taking photos of them. I respect the privacy of others by request.
What is the best thing that’s happened to you as a consequence of the work you do?
I’ve learned how to love myself and enjoy life.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
I can’t stop! I’m dependent on lifestreaming to help me focus on the good in life. It’s how I process the world around me. My lifestream functions as my memory, my magickal record, and a pick-me-up whenever I need it. It’s a way of life. If I got cut off from the Internet tomorrow I would find another outlet, but like a painter paints, the web is my artistic medium of choice.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
My biggest inspirations are successful web media producers like the extraordinary Gala Darling, Steve Pavlina, Penelope Trunk, and Dawn and Drew. My life philosophy of feeling good came from the teachings of Abraham-Hicks.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
Every single day is a 100. Not only do I decide what to do with every minute of my life, but lifestreaming has really helped me see bad experiences as good ones, because I look to document the positive aspects of any situation.
Is there much career progression available to you? What would you like to do next?
It’s likely that I’ll always maintain my personal lifestream website in some form, but I continuously find new creative projects to pursue. Right now Kelly and I are working on a textbook for the School of Life Design, and I expect that project to continue flourishing. All I want to do next is make better and better work–meaning my life will get better and better too.
Do you think you’ll continue doing this for the rest of your life?
I’ll continue doing it as long as it feels good.
How did you find my article on Josh Harris? Is that kind of lifestreaming something you’d be interested in pursuing?
I watched We Live in Public a couple months ago and found Josh’s dystopian view of the future quite limiting. Technology is not good or bad, it just depends what you do with it. The Wired City sounds like the next logical step in reality television. The Human Chicken Coop is a fascinating idea, but Josh appears intent on taking away people’s freedom. Lifestreaming does not have to be about giving up freedom. But Josh’s vision is one possibility that will happen if enough people believe it will.
I do think he is spot on about the death of privacy. I come from the belief that we are all one consciousness, and the Internet is one way that is beginning to manifest in physical reality. When we collectively let go of our fears about privacy, things will be very different!
That being said, I have little interest in 24 hour surveillance. The beauty of lifestreaming is that it is edited–I take an active role in making my life into art. In that way I am designing my life experience, not living by default.
Too much unwanted surveillance can cause people to act out in destructive ways, like what happened in We Live in Public. It’s rebellion against having freedom taken away, or caring too much about what other people think. Surveillance can also make people all conform to the same behavior, like in Foucalt’s Panopticon. But if we’re all one consciousness anyway… it kind of makes sense.
Where do you draw the line?
I don’t complain. I don’t speak negatively. That’s the line. I have no desire to put any more negative thoughts or emotions into the universe.
Would you ever put cameras in your house?
I have lots of cameras in my house! But I choose when to hit record. I don’t think privacy exists on the Internet, but I still value my physical space and time alone. And recording everything can be overwhelming–I’m not interested in reliving every moment in the editing process–just the really good ones.
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