Cherry On Top
[ 5 September 2010, 09:10 ]
Image by Anthony Burrill.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [29] Tags: cherry on top,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!
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DRESS! Gala For Her Birthday! & WIN! A Huge Prize Pack!
[ 26 August 2010, 14:10 ]
It’s my birthday in just over two weeks! On the 13th of September, I will turn 27! Amazing/scary!
I’m having a little trouble working out what I want to wear on my birthday, though. I think it’s important to have a fabulous birthday outfit, something in which you can swan around & feel magical. My plan for my birthday celebration is to throw a midnight picnic with some of my dearest friends. We’ll either be in a park or on a rooftop, eating cake, taking photos & laughing all night. I want to drink scotch & sit in The Dish’s lap. I’ll have glitter around my eyes & really, really big hair!
While I did consider going naked & just wearing shoes (drool), I decided I’d probably need a dress. So as to avoid all that pesky getting arrested stuff!
Here’s where you come in. Do you want to help me out?
Show me how you’d dress me if you were my personal stylist for the day! Join Gala’s Birthday Party (the group), create an outfit using Polyvore, & then submit it to the group! Need some inspiration? Check out these AMAZING sets!
Now I wouldn’t just ask you do it for kicks! There’s a prize, of course! So what’s up for grabs?
Just a sample of some of the things you could win!
The prize pack contains…
666 Photography: A large frame Spring Muertos necklace!
Betsey Johnson: A pair of designer series Tweezerman tweezers!
Deos: A pair of purple Swarovski-encrusted earphone covers !
Disneyland: (Hee!) A pair of silver sequinned mouse ears!
Dynomighty: An Airmail Mighty Wallet!
Estee Lauder: Pure Color Lip Gloss — these are double-ended & limited edition. There are two of them, one is Brazen Berry/Extravagant Pink & the other is Nude Rose/Rock Candy, & they come in a sassy pink faux-croc case!
La Mer: moisturising cream!
MAC Cosmetics: Plush Lash (my FAVE)!
Molly Crabapple: A sexy t-shirt featuring a lusty lady from her designer series with Dirtee Hollywood!
Sparkle & Metal: A snowflake necklace & matching earrings!
Wildfox Couture: Two t-shirts — both of which are samples, limited edition & not available on their website! There’s a red rose t-shirt (XS) & a navy blue daisy chain t-shirt (S), both goooorgeous!
& a hand-written note from me
...All packed into a Sweetpea by Karen Walker tote bag!
Pretty rad, if I do say so myself!
The competition runs for a week, & will be drawn next Thursday, the 2nd of September. It’s open to EVERYONE, no matter how far-flung!
By the way, if you’ve never used Polyvore before, it’s super easy! You just browse through items, drag them to the other window & arrange them using your mouse! My mother, who is a massive technophobe, can do it, so you can too! Jump in there & make something fabulous! I’m counting on you!
Good luck!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [68] Tags: gala,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Radical Self-Hate? Stop The Madness!
[ 25 August 2010, 15:13 ]
I recently received the following email, & it struck a chord with me.
“I’m really sick of people talking about dieting or calories or fat.
It seems like so many girls around me do, especially when we’re eating something great or going out to eat/talking in general. It ALWAYS comes up. Why can’t food be something about enjoyment? I really don’t want to be a part of that crap because I’ve already lost a great friend who suffered of an extreme eating disorder. I’m just really tired of people talking non-stop about it for every single thing they eat, and how they’d always never shut up about calories, how fatty it is, how fat they feel, thighs, whatever body parts, all that hate talk. I’ve once confronted a friend about it and told her to please stop bringing it up on this table at least while you’re with me, thank you, and then she totally snapped and said that I’ll never have friends if I really don’t like hearing about calories or fat because that’s what all other girls are talking about. I know that I don’t have to put up with that. I can just go hang out with people who are positive and not wasting their time on pointless things and starvation even. But I wonder how you usually deal with that situation, what you would say/whether you distance yourself away from those toxic conversations or just not hang out with them altogether.”
I’m so glad you wrote because I have been wanting to vocalise some thoughts on this subject for a long time. I totally agree with you & cannot stand it when women reduce themselves to physical measurements & calorie consumption!
I think that women have been taught that it is okay — even “good”, feminine, or expected — to obsess over what we’re eating & how we think we look. As if it wasn’t bad enough that this is reinforced by our best girlfriends, it’s also rammed down our throats by the rest of society & even by big business — you know, those companies who depend on you hating yourself so you’ll buy more beauty products, diet pills, surgery etc.! You only have to switch on the television to be assaulted with a gamut of shows fixating on the “Best Celebrity Body” to know that all of this is very real.
I also believe that a lot of women have grown up listening to their mothers talk about how they “feel fat”, verbally flagellating themselves for eating snacks, or saying, “Oh, just let me have ONE!”. Our mothers are our first role models, & we pay so much attention to everything they do! All of this stuff messes up your head, & is hard to ignore. It is so ingrained in us, & we hear it everywhere. Furthermore, a lot of women unconsciously see conversations about food & weight as a kind of rite of passage into womanhood.
You can see how insidious & ugly the whole thing is.
Now, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t give the topic any consideration. Of course, it is important to consider what you’re putting into your body. When you eat healthy, natural food, you feel energetic & happy, while conversely when you eat processed, sugar-laden muck, you feel sluggish & miserable. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with eating junk food, as long as you’re being conscious of your intake & are able to make decisions which balance it all out. On the other hand, if your eating feels out of control & like you actually can’t stop yourself from going for the cupcakes, you may want to investigate your emotional relationship to food (a counsellor who you like & respect can really help too).
The bottom line is that it’s so much more fun to be with your friends when you can all order burgers & ice-cream sundaes & enjoy yourselves!
People are so confused about food in general. For years, people ate whatever they felt like, & then all of a sudden it seemed like we were surrounded by heart disease, various cancers, high cholesterol etc., & we were thrown into uncertainty. What is safe to eat? How does it affect us? What the HELL are we supposed to have for dinner? I think it’s natural to discuss & talk about these things as we figure it out, but there is a difference between idle food conversation & the downward spiral of radical self-hate & disordered eating.
Your friend is making excuses for her own mindset. Based on what she told you — that you’ll never have any friends if you don’t like hearing weight talk — I shouldn’t have any friends at all! Thankfully, that’s not the case! By the way, I don’t have a single friend who talks about “calories or fat”... & I would have absolutely no qualms about spending my time ALONE instead of listening to that kind of garbage!
I think ultimately the best thing to do is spend time with people who have a healthier body image. While that might seem dismissive or cold, it’s anything but. Disordered eating is contagious, & the more time you spend in the company of those girls, the more likely it is that your own thinking about food will become warped. I would encourage your friends to get help (if you think they need it), then back away & start associating with other women.
I said a little while ago (on the subject of marriage) that I thought getting married was about finding someone who had flaws you could deal with. I think friendship is very similar — you’re not going to find someone who is perfect, but hopefully you’ll strike up a kinship with a few girls whose flaws don’t cause you to fly into a rage! If you’ve already lost someone close to an eating disorder, I can absolutely understand how your friends blabbing about weight could drive you to the point of madness! Your friends should make you feel good, make you laugh, & be people you are excited about seeing. There’s no sense in spending time with people who constantly push your buttons.
Until we can all learn to accept & EMBRACE our bodies as the FLAWED MIRACLES that they are, this nonsense will continue. As long as you buy tabloids which speculate about celebrity weight gain or loss, we are all suckers. As long as you participate in “body snark”, discuss the appearance of other people, or give a crap about what size pants you wear, you are totally & 100% buying into it!
If your friends obsess over their weight, tell them you don’t want to hear it about it anymore. Encourage them to get help. Next time your sister makes a bitter comment about “thin girls”, give her a reality check. When your friend judges someone for what they’re wearing & how they look in it, stand up to her. Next time your girlfriend says she has gained weight, tell her she looks gorgeous — & MEAN it!
The bottom line: if you don’t let people know that their behaviour won’t be tolerated, nothing will change. Set an example! It’s easy to say you’ll do these things, but when you step away from your computer, will you make those changes in the real world? I’m going to start right now.
Radical self-hate is bullshit, & standing by & being a silent witness to it is almost as bad.
...& you can fucking quote me!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [107] Tags: advice,
how to,
inspiration,
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madame,
the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Gay & Katie Hendricks
[ 13 August 2010, 14:50 ]
I discovered these videos yesterday & found them so brilliant & illuminating that I wanted to post them separately. I thought that if I buried them in a Carousel, they might get lost… & I think they’re really important.
Gay & Katie Hendricks have been teaching people about love & relationships for over 20 years. They really know what they’re talking about, & from these videos alone, you can see how much they practice what they preach. Please press play on the first one, & have a listen to what they’re saying. I think you’ll find them as wonderful as I do!
More information about Gay & Katie Hendricks’ techniques, taken from Squidoo...
The First Principle
Relationships thrive when each partner commits to total union with the other person and total creative expression as an individual.
The First Magic Move
Make a heartfelt commitment to the other person that you’re willing to go beyond all your ego-defenses to fully initiate unity. At the same time, make a commitment to going all the way with your creative expression. Then observe the emergence of your defensive barriers every day. Report them honestly, but don’t take them seriously. In fact, ego defenses disappear quickly when you turn them into play.
The Second Principle
Relationships thrive when each partner learns from every relationship interaction, especially the stressful ones, instead of running programmed defensive moves. Some popular defensive moves: criticizing, listening-filters, lying, sulking in silence, making noisy uproars, numbing out with food, drink, smoke, TV and other habit-forming drugs.
The Second Magic Move
Make a heartfelt commitment to learning something new from every relationship interaction. Notice your defensive moves as they emerge, and gradually transplant wondering and truth-speaking in place of defensiveness.
The Third Principle
Relationships thrive in a climate of absolute honesty – no hidden feelings or withheld truths. All feelings – anger, sadness, joy, fear, sexual attraction – are okay to discuss with the other person, and each person is able to listen, free of listening-filters such as listening-to-find-fault and listening-to-fix.
The Third Magic Move
Notice your feelings and thoughts, and speak about them to your partner. If there are things you’ve done or feelings you’re afraid to talk about, make sure to speak about those to your partner. Get familiar with your habitual listening-filters, and practice summarizing what the other person is saying, with no distortion, an acknowledging the feelings embedded in communication.
The Fourth Principle
Relationships thrive when people keep their agreements impeccably. It doesn’t matter whether an agreement seems trivial (“Sorry, honey, but I forgot to take the trash out.”) or significant (“Sorry, honey, but I slept with your twin sister and the maid of honor the night before our wedding.”) There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity, according to Tom Peters, and our experience has confirmed this radical notion.
The Fourth Magic Move
Monitor each agreement you make very carefully, making sure you want to make it in the first place. Once you make an agreement, fulfill it impeccably or change it consciously by communicating with the relevant person.
The Fifth Principle
People thrive in a climate of 100% accountability, where nobody blames or claims victim status. 100% accountability is the shift from “I was wronged” to “I take full responsibility for events occurring the way they did.” From this empowered position, problems can be solved quickly, because time and energy are not squandered in a fruitless attempt to find fault.
The Fifth Magic Move
In any situation, claim responsibility for having created it the way it occurred. Wonder about how and why you might have wanted it to occur that way. Speak in empowered language rather than victim language (“I choose to go to the dentist” rather than “I have to go to the dentist.” “I take responsibility for eating so that I have a healthy body,” rather than “Why did you buy that huge bucket of buttered popcorn? You know I can’t resist it.”)
The Sixth Principle
Relationships flourish when partners appreciate each other liberally. People grow more beautiful through our appreciation of them. Relationships take a quantum leap when each partner practices appreciation of the other person as a daily art form.
The Sixth Magic Move
Invent new ways to appreciate the other person every day, and speak appreciations frequently. Live inside questions such as, “What is my partner’s true essence and how can I invite it forth?” And “What could I appreciate about my partner at this moment?”
The Seventh Principle
Everything can be resolved with willingness and love. Love is the ultimate healer and liberator, because only love is vast enough to embrace its opposite. In other words, you can love yourself even when you hate yourself, and the hate will melt in the larger presence off love. Whatever emerges in a close relationship is the next thing that needs to be loved.
The Seventh Magic Move
Love as much as you can from wherever you are.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [11] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
life,
video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Gossip Girl On Acid: A How To For Intrepid Playgirls!
[ 4 August 2010, 09:37 ]
Can I admit something? Something I am a little shamefaced about? For all my caterwauling about the winter, & how I was dying for the sun to come out… I wish it was fall. There is no middle ground in New York! It is either 100°F & the city feels like an oven, or it’s just above freezing & you’re slip-&-sliding all over the icy pavement. UGH! Is it time to move to California?!
The rumours are true. Summer, I’m so over you!
So since the weather hasn’t quite caught up with my desires, I’ve just started my fall shopping about a trillion years early!
I try to compose a style direction piece every year. It helps give me a view of what I’d like to be wearing, & while it isn’t set in stone, it can be a great guideline or framework to start from. 2010 has been no exception. In January, I cooked up Psychedelic Ladies Who Lunch, my very very very favourite style direction piece yet.
About a month ago, I printed out the original article & taped it into my Filofax. I thought it would be a useful way to keep myself stylistically on track, especially since I am easily distracted, & admire lots of different styles. I wanted my wardrobe to become a little more cohesive — I wanted things to go together easily! It has helped a lot. I re-read it often & it reminds me of how I’m evolving my look. Otherwise I am totally prone to just grabbing things I like. (Clearly, I need to plan everything!)
When I was originally cooking up Psychedelic Ladies Who Lunch, it was described by my friend Jess as “Gossip Girl on acid”. For the upcoming fall/winter, I’m moving more in this direction — colder temperatures lend themselves much more readily to this kind of thing! (& of course, when I say “Gossip Girl on acid”, I mean in appearances only! This has nothing to do with drugs!)
Gossip Girl On Acid
A How To For Intrepid Playgirls.
Browse Etsy, eBay, antique stores & flea markets for old school pins & vintage badges to adorn the lapels of one perfect blazer (this is my pick from Rugby Ralph Lauren). Use the J.Crew fall lookbook for inspiration. Messy white hair & pink lips. Collect cashmere cardigans in every hue & length: minty green, royal blue, amethyst, fuchsia. Dust your eyelids with sparkling pigment. Create impromptu ankle jewellery by threading charms & broken trinkets onto a ribbon, to be worn over your boots. More is more is more is more!
Mix prints: put leopard with floral with polka-dots with stripes. Draw inspiration from Little Edie Beale, camping trips & treehouses. Flowers everywhere! Dig out your old Girl Scout handbook. Stock up on striped sweaters & wear them with everything — tucked into high-waisted skirts, under leather jackets, over frothy dresses. Oversized statement rings of crystals & skulls, worn with an immaculate, dazzling manicure. Knee-high socks all the time. Well-worn motorcycle boots & glitter-covered Christian Louboutin pumps.
Pinstriped blouses tucked into shockingly bright a-line skirts. Grey with lime green. Overdyed vintage slips worn with a washed leather jacket, stockings & boots. Stockings with beads & crystals sewn onto them with gold or silver thread (I bought some at Forever 21 of all places!). Curate a menagerie of bracelets & bangles (tie loosely with a ribbon if they move around too much). Attach flowers to your shoes…
Wear a little Edwardian velvet jacket over a floral frock. Or go the whole hog & wear a coat with tails over everything! Personalise a bright handbag with charms & bells & tassels. Use belts & fitted jackets to give even more shape & structure to a-line dresses. Invest in several tulle petticoats. Only buy what you absolutely love. Treat yourself.
Wear colour all the way through winter & extra glitter when it snows. Find your lucky nailpolish colour. (Mine is Catch Me In Your Net by OPI.) Collect hats which frame your face & disguise bad hair days. Wear your perfect summer dress with a cropped, striped cardigan, big belt & blazer. Buy lurid socks which almost glow in the dark.
Make jewellery for your friends. Wear flower crowns in thunderstorms. Go out & drink whiskey with your favourite girls. Adorn yourself with bright, fabulous lingerie & wear it under your favourite faux fur coat. Keep crystal points in your purse. Become a Scrabble champion. Carry perfume in your handbag so you smell delicious all day.
Think eccentric mad-chic British aristocracy. Wear a bird on your head if it pleases you. Team a mint green sequinned tank top with a necklace which looks like pieces of broken chandelier. Sling on a locket with a photo of your lover inside. Work sequinned bloomers into your everyday wardrobe. Channel Royce & gesticulate grandly. Enjoy your life & be as extravagant as you please.
“Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.”
(Joseph Campbell)
“I don’t want to be a reality in people’s lives. I want to be like an apparition.”
(Karl Lagerfeld)
“Wherever I see grey, I paint it pink.”
(Alain Berliner — director Ma Vien En Rose)
“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”
(Roald Dahl)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [56] Tags: aesthetic,
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inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!The Love Poems of Marichiko
[ 10 July 2010, 14:59 ]
By Kenneth Rexroth
Some selected passages.
IV
You ask me what I thought about
Before we were lovers.
The answer is easy.
Before I met you
I didn’t have anything to think about.
VIII
A single ray in the dawn,
The bliss of our love
Is incomprehensible.
No sun shines there, no
Moon, no stars, no lightning flash,
Not even lamplight.
All things are incandescent
With love which lights up all the world.
XVIII
Spring is early this year.
Laurel, plums, peaches,
Almonds, mimosa,
All bloom at once. Under the
Moon, night smells like your body.
XXIX
Love me. At this moment we
Are the happiest
People in the world.
XXXIV
Every morning, I
Wake alone, dreaming my
Arm is your sweet flesh
Pressing my lips.
XLIV
The disorder of my hair
Is due to my lonely sleepless pillow.
My hollow eyes and gaunt cheeks
Are your fault.
Rexroth viewed love for another person as a sacramental act that could connect one with a transcendent, universal awareness. In his introduction to his poem The Phoenix and the Tortoise, Rexroth articulated his understanding of love and marriage: “The process as I see it goes something like this: from abandon to erotic mysticism, from erotic mysticism to the ethical mysticism of sacramental marriage, thence to the realization of the ethical mysticism of universal responsibility.” In other words, love was a key to truly realizing one’s existence, something that could be cemented and validated in the long run by wedded union.
Students were encouraged to write their own poetry and then recite it. Once incident during his class was fairly explosive, however. A certain male student started to recite his own work, a jumbled, jokey misogynistic piece exhulting in violence towards women. Rexroth stopped the reading, mid-stream, angrily eviscerated the student, to the astonishment of others in the class, and banished the offender from ever setting foot in Rexroth’s class again. Such was Rexroth’s respect and dedication to the idea of transcendental love between a man and a woman.
Rexroth died in Santa Barbara in 1982. He had spent his final years translating Japanese and Chinese women poets, as well as promoting the work of female poets in America and overseas. He is buried on the grounds of the Santa Barbara Cemetery Association overlooking the sea, and while all the other graves face inland, his alone faces the Pacific. His epitaph reads, “As the full moon rises / The swan sings in sleep / On the lake of the mind.”
(Source.)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [25] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Help! I Have The Travel Bug!
[ 28 June 2010, 13:44 ]
My feet are a-tingling. My legs are jittery. I keep tapping my fingers. When this happens, all I want to do is pack a bag, grab my passport & hoof it to JFK. I just want to breakout a-town!
I don’t like to stay in any one place too long — it makes me antsy. I am always hankering to see the next bright thing, to have a new experience, to walk a road I’ve never seen. Getting away from everything familiar is one of the best ways to reinvigorate your soul & reignite your passion for life.
If I could go anywhere right now, these would be my top contenders!
Greek Islands
Oh yes, the Greek Islands. Someone, years ago, told me that Greece was my “spiritual homeland”. I laughed it off because I had absolutely no interest in going there, but as time ticks by, I feel myself being drawn there.
There are over 6,000 Greek Islands, & only 227 of them are inhabited. Only 78 of them have more than 100 people living there! Santorini is one of the most well-known islands. It’s on the rim of a volcano & is situated 1000 feet above the Aegean Sea.
I would really like to visit Paxos. Paxos was constantly attacked by pirates during the Byzantine period & Middle Ages, & the coastline is dotted with blue caves. It is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen pictures of. I grew up by the ocean & when I don’t see it regularly, I feel weird & out of touch. Let’s go!
I would love so much to spend some time in the Greek Islands, getting some sun, doing lots of writing & enjoying the sea breeze. I’ve been looking at hotels in the Greek Islands all morning & drooling. A few weeks at Aigialos, Hotel Katikies, or On The Rocks would totally not go amiss! Haha! (I am sure it would be less expensive to stay in a house, though.)
The best times to travel to Greece are from the end of May to the beginning of June, & from September to mid-October. Time to start saving up!
In my searches, I discovered Matt Barrett’s Greek travel guide, which is an amazing resource for anyone planning a trip.
Tokyo, Japan
I can’t believe I am almost 30 (okay, I still have 3 years until I’m 30 but it seems very CLOSE) & I haven’t been to Japan yet! Does this seem completely ridiculous to anyone else?! It is one of those places I know I am going to adore even before I get there, which is how I felt about New York City, too.
I want to visit Tokyo Disneyland, roam the streets & get lost. I want to sing karaoke & get a million sticker photos. I want to shop my ass off & freak out over how immaculately everything is presented. I want to visit temples & sit under cherry blossom trees. I want to soak in the neon & bathe in the lights.
I am also completely obsessed with love hotels. How could you not want to stay in a hotel room which is a combination of S&M & Hello Kitty themes?! One of them even has a carousel in the room! COME ON! It must happen! If you’re interested too, here’s what to expect. There’s a good love hotel guide here as well, & Misty Keasler has a great love hotel photography series.
Happy Jappy (what a name!) is a massive site with oodles of information for visitors to Japan.
India
Just the thought of India excites me, gets the juice flowing. I have been planning to go there for a long time & can’t wait to get in amongst it! I even have a friend in Mumbai who works at Vogue (fancy!) who has promised to take me shopping & show me around.
I want to ride a motorcycle from city to city, see big pink palaces & attend Holi.
Of all the places I want to visit, India is top of my list, but it’s also the one which makes me most nervous.
While all the pictures I’ve chosen to illustrate this article are bright, exciting & beautiful, India is much more than that. It’s wild, intense & unrelenting, & a place of massive contrasts. My friends who have been there tell me that the extreme poverty in India is so closely juxtaposed with extreme wealth, which can be hard to take in & difficult to accept.
I know that when I finally bite the bullet & go there, it will be the experience of a lifetime; that it will change me. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that much change right now. But is anyone ever “ready” for a massive shift? I think you just need to jump into it feet-first… !
What cities do you salivate just thinking about? If someone told you they’d buy you a return plane ticket tomorrow, where would you want to go & why? Have you ever been to the Greek Islands, Japan or India? How did you find it? Tell us!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [130] Tags: aesthetic,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!A Filofax Love Affair!
[ 21 June 2010, 10:59 ]
Recently, I started to become frustrated with my Colour-A-Month Moleskines. They’re too small & there’s nowhere to write down extraneous lists or pockets in which to keep things. It was making me nuts to have to dig out another book to write down anything happening further than a month out. The romance was over. It was a dead duck. I stopped using them. I went back to index cards (aka the “hipster PDA“).
Serendipitously though, all this occurred around the same time that Kris Atomic mentioned that she had purchased a Filofax & that it was rocking her world. It planted a seed in my mind.
I started logging into the FilofaxUSA site late at night, bookmarking planners & accessories in a cold sweat. I imagined the things I would put in the plastic pockets; I fantasised about having one place to contain all my madness. Then, one night, I took the plunge. I ordered an organiser & a slew of inserts & accessories. Then I waited. (Very impatiently, I might add. I called them TWICE to track the package! I’m sorry, patient & charming Filofax customer service staff!)
When the package arrived, I rushed downstairs in little more than my pyjamas, & stole back to my room to rip the box open with fervour. Oh, it was beautiful, & worth the wait. It got better & better as I dug deeper through the box. An organiser in bright, rich raspberry; Filofax-specific sticky notes; A MIRROR; a NYC subway map; purple lined notepaper…
I am totally, totally, totally in love with my Filofax & thought I’d show you how I’ve been organising it & using it.
The Filofax organiser I bought is the Metropol Personal, in Raspberry. It’s not the most expensive one — at $34, it’s hardly a splurge — but it is the colour I liked best, & has a minimal, chic design. The colour is (let’s just say it) extremely sexual. The Metropol comes with two pen loops (I use one for my ink pen & one for a highlighter!), a pocket in the front (my passport is stashed inside), six credit card slots & a mesh pocket in the back.
I decided to go with the Personal size because it’s most convenient for my purposes. I wanted something big enough that I could write in comfortably, as I often do a lot of writing on paper when I’m out, but that was also small enough to fit in my handbag. Here is a size guide so you can get an idea of the different options!
At the very front of my Filofax is a mirror, which is genius & perfect for checking your teeth or general appearance before you meet someone — & no one even knows you’re doing it! Fab!
After this, I have two transparent envelopes which contain things I want to keep at the forefront of my mind. When Angeliska did a tarot reading for me at Barton Creek in Austin a couple of months ago, the High Priestess was a significant card that turned up. Angel told me that I should keep one around as a reminder, so I pulled mine from my deck & this is where it’s living for now.
The second pocket holds a variety of things — fortunes from cookies, a fortune from the Zoltar machine at the Wildfox Couture party, passes to clubs in Las Vegas & my Virgin America plane ticket to JFK. It has become a kind of catch-all for scraps which come my way — it needs to be reorganised! (Or perhaps I need multiple envelopes for different purposes… Mmmm sounds good!)
After that is my To Do list. I write each item on a separate line, drawing a heart as a bulletpoint & highlighting the line when it’s completed. (This is a system I’ve been using for a very long time!)
The best thing about a Filofax is that because it’s essentially a binder, it can be opened & pages can be removed or replaced on a whim. This means you don’t have to keep old lists around — it’s a brilliant way of clearing out mental clutter.
The next page is my list of things to manifest! Every sentence starts, “I am so happy & grateful…” & then I describe what I want. For example, one of them is, “I am so happy & grateful that Hank & Dolly get along like old friends & are peaceful & happy together”. I wrote about these lists in Love & Sequins #9, because they really, really work! I like to have mine at the front of my planner because I see it all the time as I am flipping through.
I use my Filofax for very important things, as you can see. Taco night = #1 priority!
My monthly & daily calendars are next. Initially I was just using the grid calendar for planning travel, but have recently switched it up & am now using it to plan out my articles for the month. This way, I can look at it & immediately see where I have a gap, & know what days need content! (Additionally, when I am ahead on my work, it gives me great comfort & a feeling of fantastic smugness to look at these pages. Hahah!)
After the grid calendar is the actual day planner. I use a page for each day, which is great. I like lots of space to add whatever I might need to remember. I am in the unenviable position of needing to write down everything, or I forget about it. I schedule in everything, from meetings to birthdays to reminders to email people about odd things.
I don’t have every day of the year in here — my calendar starts on May 25th (the day it arrived) & at this point, it only contains days up to September. I just don’t want it to be bulging unnecessarily. The rest of the calendar is stowed safely in a desk drawer, & I threw the days prior to May in the bin.
Now we’re into the section which is divided by colour-coded sticky notes. Get ready to Virgo it up!
The first portion contains lists of places to go for brunch & restaurants to try for dinner, separated by borough. Yes, ‘tis true! I collate this information from a bunch of sources (like Yelp & Time Out New York) & make notes beside each name, like the address & type of food. The Dish & I like to go on food adventures, so this is a very useful section.
The next page is an ongoing list of songs to put into a summer mixtape, which I am perpetually (but idly) working on! The tab for this page has a musical note drawn on it. I often flip to this page as I am walking along the street listening to my iPod! (Not very graceful!)
I have a page for handwritten gratitude, as well — I like to add to it when I’m waiting for people or have some downtime. Writing it on paper changes the form of giving thanks. It makes it more real, & taking the time to commit it with pen & ink is a really positive practice for me. It also gives me something to refer back to when I’m putting together Things I Love Thursday!
The page after that is for recording my dreams! I write down the date & any details I can remember. The more I do this, the more of them I remember. (It also apparently increases your chances of lucid dreaming.)
The last page in this section is my wishlist. I add to this list when I think of things which need to be replaced or purchased. (Currently featuring: Hollywood tape [I ran out in Las Vegas], Make Up For Ever All Mat primer, & “cute underwear”. Always.)
I am aware that some of the ways I use my Filofax are pretty unconventional, but it really works for me! That’s the best thing about it, it is basically a good-lookin’ binder & you can fill it with anything you like. You can create it in a way which serves you. You can use it to infuse your life with more magic. I love that.
I use a Barbie pen to write most things in my Filofax. I
it.Future Filofax plans? Yes, I have those!
While I love the Metropol, it’s not leather & so I feel like it will probably start to look ratty after a year or so of use. It’s totally no biggie — when that happens, I will probably upgrade to the Filofax Classic in pink. I’ll just scoop out the guts of the Metropol & switch them over. Easy peasy.
I am on the verge of having new business cards (& stickers!) printed up, & when they’re ready, I’ll be stashing them in my Filofax for sure. I’m going to get another envelope — one with a zip closure — to house them. I always forget to take them with me otherwise, which is tragic to say the least!
I’d love to get my hands on a portable hole punch, so I can instantly add things to my Filofax, but for now, I am pretty happy just putting important things in the pockets or transparent envelopes.
I used to have a Filofax when I was about 10 years old. I seem to remember them being a kind of trend — or were they just trendy among nerds like myself? At the time, there were also many poor imitations of the Filofax, which folded open & had magnetic snap closures. (I think I had one with a crocodile on it, which also included a crappy pen?!) I used to write my homework in it & give myself fake, “cool” homework too. Oh brother.
My life is pretty different now — understatement of the year! — & having a Filofax is the perfect complement. Sometimes, when I hold onto it, I feel like I am clutching a little binder of sanity! I take it everywhere with me, even when I think I won’t need to use it. I inevitably do, & besides, it makes me feel happy just flicking through the pages.
Extra For Experts:
Why A Filofax?
Using A Filofax For GTD: Setting Up The Pages For Tasks & Calendars
Flickr photos of how other people do it
Philofaxy is hardcore!
How do you organise yourself? Are you a Moleskine diehard like I used to be, or do you just keep everything in your head? Would you consider getting a Filofax? Tell me how you keep everything straight! I love hearing about it.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [142] Tags: gala,
how to,
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productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cherry On Top
[ 30 May 2010, 01:17 ]
From Angel-A, with lots of love & thanks to Danielle for sending it to me ( ).
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [54] Tags: cherry on top,
inspiration,
the playgirls guide to radical self love,
video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Love & Sequins #9!
[ 29 May 2010, 17:36 ]
“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.”
Albert Einstein
HOORAY! It’s here!
Love & Sequins #9: MANIFESTING & MAGIC-MAKING — Using imagination & reverie to create a perfect universe!
The latest chapter in the Love & Sequins series has been written, edited, recorded & sealed with a kiss!
This episode is all about one of my favourite topics: engineering your thoughts to make your life as beautiful as possible! While a lot of the stuff I’ve read on the subject is vague, my guide is not! There’s no fluffy rhetoric here — it’s all live-action advice which is can immediately be applied to your life. Bullet-points & all!
Some people get confused about manifesting & the law of attraction, & think it is about being positive & thinking woo-woo thoughts & waving a stick of incense around. It really isn’t! Manifesting is about getting the universe to meet you halfway. It’s about doing the work while having faith that things will work out for the best. It’s about knowing that what you want is coming to you — but also knowing that you have to start the ball rolling. After all, if you just sit in your room thinking about what you want, but don’t get out there & tell anyone about it, or do some research, or take any real actionable steps, how will anything ever happen?
Some of the topics covered in Love & Sequins #9 include…
Manifesting 101 — everything you need to know when you’re starting out
Becoming the inspired creator of your own existence
Using your feelings as a barometer to predict your future!
Learning to turn up your vibration & attract beauty into your life
Uncovering what it is that you really, really, really want
All the techniques I use to make incredible things happen
Creating an environment which supports you in your dreams
Becoming a brave, fearless dream warrior!
Embracing, welcoming & learning to love change
Top secret tricks to get rid of the fears which are holding you back from being your own superhero
How to gag & bind your “inner jerk” forever!
What to do on days when you don’t feel the magic
How to jump feet-first into your dream
What to do if your parents are unrepentant dream-crushers!
...& much, much more!
“GALA I LOVED IT! So much insight, help & perspective on the LOA and the everyday nittygritty details & secrets of it! Thank you
“It’s so great. Thank you for sharing your life and inspiration with the rest of us. Your positive energy is contagious! :)” — S.
As well as an 11,000+ word document, included in the bundle is an hour-long MP3 of me reading it aloud to you! (Just think of it as an empowering lullaby!)
Copies of it are whizzing around our heads right now, landing with a splash in the inboxes of international playgirls & doll-faced geniuses all over the world!
You can snap it up right now for $12! It will be delivered to your inbox immediately! Good times!
“You create your own universe as you go along.”
Winston Churchill
Alternatively, you can download all the past — & future! — episodes for $7 each (a one-off payment of $84)!
Here are all the other chapters! Check them out & see what piques your interest. (If you really don’t know where to start, #1 Learning To Love Yourself, #5 Finding Happiness & Making It Stay, #6 Daintier, Smarter, Better Dressed & #7 Blogging 101 have been the most popular! Having said that, I am super-proud of every chapter & they all have been enjoyed across the world!)
Love & Sequins #1: LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF — Self-adoration, manifesting your ideal persona, channelling your inner Marie Antoinette & everything in between!
“This podcast has been tremendously helpful. It has indeed resonated deeply in all of the tiny crevices of my being where I’ve been hiding my hopes and dreams and instead allowing myself to be swallowed by fear and doubt. I couldn’t agree more that we all know that self-confidence and self-love are the root of success, of living the positive inspired lives we all dream about. And yet, until now it escaped me that I could practice at being confident. That I could slowly develop these skills over time. I had a huge a-ha moment – of course it won’t happen overnight! Of course it’s about making small changes, adjusting my mindset and perceptions in the moment… Thank you for letting your own light shine as it has given me permission and inspiration to do the same. I’m deeply grateful.” — L.
Love & Sequins #2: THE SMART GIRL’S GUIDE TO BUSINESS — Taking control of your life, finding your passion, loving what you do & making mad bling!
“Thank you so much for your inspiration. it really gave me the kick up the bum that I needed. I was always afraid to take a creative income path, for fear that my talent was lacking. I still have these insecurities, but I realise that right now, while I’m young, enthusiastic and motivated is the very best time to give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll try something different. if it is a success, then maybe it will give me the confidence to try some other more innovative ideas.” — V.
Love & Sequins #3: LOVE, SEX, THE GALAXY & EVERYTHING — From falling in love to co-habitation, & all the beauty & madness contained within!
“Gala, I loved this one! I listened to it as soon as you sent it. I’ve always been kind of a cynic when it comes to love, but I think I’m ready to let my guard down and take the plunge. The ‘love self-evaluation’ and ‘figuring out what you want from a partner’ parts stood out the most to me, and I’m definitely going to take the time to write and reflect on these areas. Thank you so much!” — D.
Love & Sequins #4: A GUIDE TO MANNERS FOR THE MODERN MINX — Etiquette, social graces & charming the pants off total strangers for the uninitiated!
“i just listened to this & it’s SO helpful, you have no idea. thank you, thank you, thank you! i’ve always been pretty socially awkward & it’s only gotten worse the past year or two & i’ve really been wanting to change that, but never knew where/how to start… i’m sure i’ll listen to it many more times :] & absolutely do the homework.” — M.
Love & Sequins #5: FINDING HAPPINESS & MAKING IT STAY — Choosing joy, making magic & devoting your life to love, adventure & deliciousness!
“I can honestly say this is the best $12 you will ever spend. I’ve been seeing a psychologist for the past 6 months… What Gala has produced is that 6 months of therapy all wrapped up into an hour long podcast. Her advice about choosing how you react to situations is the most helpful life advice you may ever receive.” — K.
Love & Sequins #6: DAINTIER, SMARTER, BETTER DRESSED — A deluxe guide to looking truly fabulous, defining your personal style & being the best-dressed girl at any party!
“This months’ Love and Sequins was my favorite so far. It is clearly a subject that you feel very passionate about, and that really came across in the podcast… This podcast really inspired me, and even while I was listening to it, I had a pad of paper next to me and was jotting down outfit ideas and sketching possible combinations.” — V.
Love & Sequins #7: BLOGGING 101 — Living & loving online, monetisation in the new world & thinking beyond the 9-5!
“One more thought: It’s not about blogging. It’s about ANY online business. I.E., pretty much any modern business at all. Blogging is just an example, and at that, really a very small part of it. I read it, thinking about what I was doing, nodding & going, “Yep, good advice, yep, can use that”. ... Loved your comment about your core audience. Great advice about managing online rep. The list of ‘little things’ is frickin’ brilliant. High density, high value. All in all? Damn, that’s one high value podcast. Amazing stuff.” — S.
Love & Sequins #8: BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! Keeping your friendships fresh, finding platonic soul mates & clearing out the fakes, phonies & meanies!
“This podcast was nothing short of fantastic… Full of really useful, practical advice. I always assumed that my friendships would just potter along on autopilot while I tended to the other areas of my life, but now I feel motivated to take action to show my friends how much I appreciate them & make time for them.” — V.
If they all sound good to you, pick up the entire package here! (Great for long car or plane trips, something to listen to when you’re working out or even when you’re drifting off to sleep!)
“I’m so glad I paid for all them upfront. Now every month I get a delicious chapter to inspire and thrill me. It’s one of my favourite pick-me-ups.” — L.
I know I always say it, but THANK YOU so much for your support of me & the Love & Sequins project! I enjoy writing the chapters so much & you are the reason why I’m able to do it!
Have an incredible weekend!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [44] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
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podcast,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!You Don't Have To Get Away To Get Away
[ 24 May 2010, 10:00 ]
If you’re gagging for a holiday but just can’t find the time (or justify the expense), don’t despair! It’s easy to get away from it all without hopping a plane, loading up the car with suitcases, smashing your piggy-bank or getting your rabies shots.
All you need to do is subscribe to the newsletters of travel websites & your favourite hotel chains. Throughout the year, at seemingly random intervals, they have cut-price specials where you can snap up a fabulous room for a fraction of the normal price.
It is certainly not the cheapest thing to do — a room might equate to the price of two good meals out. But it’s much less expensive than flying cross-country, taking a week off if you own your own business, or going completely bonkers!
It may sound silly, but just sleeping for a night or two in a different neighbourhood of your city might be all the recharging you need!
Staying in a wonderful hotel is one of life’s ultimate pleasures. A huge, fluffy bed, immaculately clean sheets made up with military precision, an oversized shower & someone to pick up after you! (That last part is like having mute parents! BEST!)
Grab your favourite person, pack your fancy knickers & stay a couple of nights! Have a pillow fight, go out for a meal in a restaurant you’ve never tried before, sleep in, order room service, cuddle, have an in-room massage, soak in the tub, plot the future, laugh…
It’s the perfect way to check out of your life for a little while.
Ways to improve the experience:
Try to leave your phone & your laptop at home. It really makes a huge difference. No distractions, no obligations, & total silence if you want it.
Pack a scented candle in your suitcase! (Decadent, & totally worth it.)
Take a camera! Snap Polaroids at sunset & sunrise.
Clean your home before you go, so that when you come back, you’re pleased to see it as opposed to stressed out!
My favourite sources for good hotel or travel deals are…
Kayak: I book all my flights through Kayak, without exception, but they do hotels too!
Tablet Boutique Hotels: If you join their site, they do private sales every Tuesday with excellent rates! I also use this site regularly.
Starwood Hotels: Home of the W (LOVE), Westin & Le Meridien.
Gilt’s new site Jetsetter: I haven’t used this yet but their prices & deals look amazing.
Time Out magazine had a great article recently on how to get incredible discounts on travel.
What’s the best hotel you’ve ever stayed in? My all-time favourites are the W Union Square & W Hollywood (amazing beds, insane food & every detail intimately considered), Hotel On Rivington (incredible views & possibly the best bed in town) & New York Palace (opulent to the max).
What about hotels you’re dying to experience for yourself? My list would include Hotel Fox (Denmark), Chateau Marmont (Hollywood — read the history), Beverly Hills Hotel (Beverly Hills — it’s a big pink castle!), Pink Sands (Bahamas), The Sukhothai Bangkok (Thailand), Taj Lake Palace (India — honestly, look at these photos) & the Park Hyatt Tokyo (Japan). Killer.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [48] Tags: consumption,
how to,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cherry On Top
[ 23 May 2010, 08:18 ]
“We talk to ourselves incessantly about our world. In fact we maintain our world with our internal talk. & whenever we finish talking to ourselves about ourselves & our world, the world is always as it should be. We renew it, we rekindle it with life, we uphold it with our internal talk. Not only that, but we also choose our paths as we talk to ourselves. Thus we repeat the same choices over & over until the day we die, because we keep on repeating the same internal talk over & over until the day we die. A warrior is aware of this & strives to stop his internal talk.”
— Carlos Castaneda, The Wheel Of Time: The Shamans Of Mexico, Their Thoughts About Life, Death And The Universe.
From Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You, which I read in two hours on Saturday, & LOVED.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [11] Tags: cherry on top,
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quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Honey Gladly's Weekend Away
[ 17 May 2010, 07:17 ]
Honey Gladly had had enough. After months of manipulation & a gruelling break-up, she decided it was time to get away from it all. ‘What could be better,’ she surmised, ‘than a decadent holiday alone?’
She booked her flights online, packed her bags, & set off for the airport.
She filled her carry-on with treasures: holographic stars, false eyelashes, a St Christopher medal, rescue remedy, tarot cards & lip gloss.
Honey went to a fancy bar on Friday night, where suave bartenders served violet cocktails & men made inane comments about her bunny ears. Her withering glare had never had so much practice. When she got back to her hotel room, she fell asleep fully-clothed.
She spent Saturday afternoon shopping & getting spa treatments. After eating dinner in her room, she got dressed up & went out to a club where silver helium balloons covered the ceiling. She took off her shoes to dance.
On Sunday, Honey walked along the beach & spent time on the pier. She seriously considered taking up witchcraft, then Zen Buddhism, then Kabbalah… But decided to buy a puppy & dedicate herself to loving that instead.
She returned to normal life on Monday afternoon. Feeling like an entirely new woman, she deleted his number & burned his love letters. She had bangs cut & got a new tattoo. She started wearing lipstick again, & forgot his name.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [61] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cherry On Top
[ 9 May 2010, 09:44 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [37] Tags: cherry on top,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!The Search For The Perfect Summer Dress
[ 21 April 2010, 14:37 ]
I’ve been obsessively browsing eBay recently, looking for the Perfect Summer Dress. You understand this fever, don’t you? It’s the fervent search for a dress that exists mostly in the imagination.
You imagine yourself wearing it. In your mind’s eye, your eyelashes are obscenely long, your lips are a deep pink & you’re laughing. You have never looked better. Birds chirp around you. The dress fits you perfectly. An adoring crowd surrounds you, hanging on your every word. The music reaches a crescendo. Two men on either side of you lift you up & you kick your legs like a Broadway star before being placed on a picnic blanket in an impeccable setting. You sit there in your beautiful dress, while fireflies pirouette around you & people offer you chocolate-dipped strawberries, & you quaff champagne like a delightful maniac ALL NIGHT LONG.
I KNOW that you have had this fantasy too. Stop protesting! I know the truth!
Anyway, the point is, as I’ve been looking for my Perfect Summer Dress (henceforth to be known as the PSD), I’ve seen oodles of adorable dresses that are in colours which don’t suit me, or sizes which wouldn’t fit, or at price points that I’m just not quite ready to stretch to. & doesn’t it seem wasteful to just pass them by, when I could let YOU know about them? You, who come in all shapes & sizes? You, who, let’s face it, probably ALSO have PSD fever?
Remember that because these dresses are on eBay, most of them will be gone within a week! Some of them end in a day’s time, so don’t dawdle!
Item description: Vintage 80s ascot bow tie blue stripe nautical mini dress
Size: 34” bust
Current price: $14.50
Lauren had never met her father, but her mother once told her he had been a roving sea captain. Despite the fact that she couldn’t swim & had an irrational paralysing fear of jellyfish, she spent almost all of her free time at the beach. She would walk back & forth, holding an eyeglass, & staring out to sea. Lauren only dated men who had boats, but it never lasted long.
Item description: Vintage 50s bombshell blue atomic party shirt dress
Size: 44” bust
Current price: $40.00
Samar pretended to be an adult. She had a job, sure, & a husband, & children. But when no one was around she would juggle chainsaws, pull faces at the television, & practice her krumping.
Item description: Vintage 50s red striped party sun dress velvet bows
Size: 36” bust
Current price: $49.99
Lotte was determined to use Alice In Wonderland as the template for the way she lived her own life. She had already taken up croquet lessons, & found a pair of slightly rotund male twins to accompany her everywhere. As much as she tried to call them Tweedledum & Tweedledee, they just would not let her get away with it.
Item description: Vintage 80s grunge bold floral bandage bodycon mini dress
Size: 31” bust
Current price: $19.99
Florence shaved the side of her head & weaved flowers & feathers through the rest. She had bought a little dinghy through Craigslist at the start of the spring & planned to spend most of her summer lying in it, floating down the river on her back.
Item description: Vintage blue pink psychedelic floral dress
Size: 36” bust
Current price: $55.00
Mona wanted to live in London more than anything. She had developed a taste for baked beans & toast & watched Coronation Street devotedly. She kissed a photo of Ringo every night before going to sleep to dream about the changing of the guard.
Item description: Vintage 80s color block stripe hot pink bow dress
Size: 36” bust
Current price: $59.99
Lotus enjoyed nothing better than a throwing a rad dinner party. She loved to plan everything in intimate detail & finish with some kind of fantastic finale, like setting a tiny fire on everyone’s plate & then handing out marshmallows on sticks.
Item description: Vintage 60s pink hibiscus floral Hawaiian maxi dress
Size: 31” bust
Current price: $89.99
Ashleigh wished she liked people. But she just didn’t. She preferred animals. & rocks.
Item description: Vintage 60s mod floral Vanity Fair nylon slip mini dress
Size: 36” bust
Current price: $45.00
Sema wore high heels everywhere — couldn’t abide being without them. Her gym membership had been revoked when she tried to run on a treadmill in a pair of 6-inchers. It was kind of weird though — she was a mannequin. How can a mannequin run on a treadmill? What kind of mannequin has a gym membership in the first place? So many questions, so little time.
Item description: Vintage 60s hot pink bullet bra mod sun party dress
Size: 32”-37” bust
Current price: $134.99 (ouch, sad face)
Nao obsessively documented her life. Her front door was covered with Polaroids of every meal she had ever eaten, she had a journal which detailed every outfit she’d worn & she kept fanatical notes about conversations she had. It helped keep everything straight in her head, because she was also a pathological liar.
Item description: Vintage 70s hot pink empire babydoll mini dress
Size: 32” bust
Current price: $49.99
Viveka’s husband thought she was the perfect wife. Every night when he came home, dinner was on the table & the house was spotless. Little did he know, she had hired help in secret, & spent the day practicing her knife-throwing act.
Item description: Vintage 50s Hawaiian Kamehameha full party sun dress
Size: 38” bust
Current price: $595.00 (!!!)
Roberta was made of plastic.
Who knows, with the right dress, the picture above could be a realistic approximation of your summer!
Where’s YOUR favourite place to load up on summer dresses?
P.S. In case you were wondering, I get no kickbacks from these links! xo!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [48] Tags: consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!An Interview With Neil Pasricha Of 1000 Awesome Things
[ 19 April 2010, 09:23 ]
I’ve been talking about 1000 Awesome Things for a long time now. I don’t remember when I first mentioned the site on galadarling.com, but the traffic boost from nonpareils rushing over there inspired the author — Neil — to send me an email.
Our friendship grew from there, with fantastic email exchanges, long, laughter-laden phonecalls & eventually culminated in me making a trip to Toronto, where I stayed in his apartment for a couple of weeks. We had a truly awesome time, staying up late talking about writing, sharing tubs of ice-cream & encouraging one another to do ridiculous things. He is really smart & inquisitive, with contagious enthusiasm for life — aka great company. I am extremely fond of him!
Neil’s website has gone from strength to strength, first winning a prestigious Webby award & then securing a book deal. His book, entitled The Book of Awesome: Snow Days, Bakery Air, Finding Money in Your Pocket, and Other Simple, Brilliant Things, came out yesterday. I was lucky enough to be sent an advance copy, & it is just as great as you’d think. I love it.
I wish Neil & I could have sat down & filmed this interview, since we have really sparky chemistry which I think would be interesting to watch. Alas, he is in Canada & I am in New York, so it was not to be. Maybe when he releases his next book!
You have such a knack for positivity. I noticed this when I stayed with you — you’re always looking for the good in life, it’s absolutely one of your most amazing qualities. Have you always been that way? Is it something you learned from your parents or did you cultivate it yourself?
Well, I honestly don’t know that I’m more or less positive than the next person. I mean, I think we all have the ability to be positive, to be awesome, and to focus on the good. For me I try and remember 3 A’s:
i) Attitude. Life’s not always pretty — whether it’s buzz saws chopping forests, bombers blowing up bridges, or unemployment rates zooming sky high, it’s just really heavy. And a lot of us have personal issues on top. I mean, for me over the course the site’s been running I’ve had my best friend take his own life and my wife decide to live hers somewhere else. And I sorta think that we’ve always got an attitude option in dark times: wallow in gloom and doom forever or grieve and face the future with newly sober eyes. Being awesome means you’ve got that moving forward and moving on attitude.
ii) Awareness. I love hanging out with three-year-olds. Honestly, I just love the way they see the world — whether it’s staring slack-jawed at their first football game, leaning over a worm on the sidewalk, or grabbing a handful of dandelions for the living room vase. I love how full of wonder they are when they’re seeing the world for the first time. I think being awesome and being optimistic is about seeing the wonder in the little things and just remembering we’re the only species on the only life-giving rock with so many awesome things around us — whether it’s guitar jams, candied hams, foreign architecture, local agriculture, Grandma hugs, or sidewalk slugs.
3) Authenticity. Being you and being cool with it. It’s your Radical Self Love message, Gala. I really think when we come into our own skin and let ourselves be ourselves we end up experiencing so much richness. We go where we want, say what we want, do what we want — and by doing that we have great conversations, meet folks we find interesting, and form great connections.
Do you write down awesome things as you think of them? Is there an awesome spreadsheet? How do you keep it organised?
Ha ha, I wish! I’ve actually got a giant pile of old receipts, scrap papers, and bus transfers sitting beside my computer with awesome things written on them. I’ve also got a running memo pad in my cell phone and bits and pieces floating around my email. I am definitely not a study in organization. I say once again for effect: You can learn nothing from me on this subject. (Honestly, I envy your Moleskine list-making-and-crossing-out nature. I’m the guy with a bunch of notebooks sitting around with exactly one page used with some grand title on it like “My Plan To Get Organized” or “To Do After Graduating”)
You had such a massive landslide of successes, from winning a Webby to getting a book deal… How did your life change when those things happened?
When I think about my life over the past two years it’s the personal ups and downs that strike me more than the website success. It’s losing my best friend and my wife. It’s gaining new friends in the city. It’s late nights laughing on the phone. And it’s really the amount of people who have shared their story with me.
I mean, I’ve had teachers email to tell me they read 1000 Awesome Things to their classroom every day and have assigned homework around finding awesome things in life. I’ve had a girl tell me she wrote her entire college application in the style of the website. I’ve had cancer patients say the site gives them smiles and reminds them of the little things on dark days. I’ve had heavier things — abuse victims, seriously depressed, suicidal folks — tell me awesome things have helped them find light when they’ve needed it most. I’ve had a guy email me a song he wrote called 1000 Awesome Things for his 3-month anniversary with his girlfriend — since they discovered it together. (Check it out!) And I’ve had folks just email me virtual high fives or say “Thanks for the smile.”
My life’s changed in the sense that my jaw is always dropped at how easily the Internet lets us all connect these days. I mean, just look at GalaDarling.com — it’s a treasure trove of smiles, articles that get you thinking, and 100% of your daily dose of pink. And it’s just… out there. It’s right there. It’s sitting around 24 hours a day for us to interact with it. We meet you, comment with strangers, share photos and Twitter feeds, and get to know each other across wires, under oceans, and over invisible airwaves.
It’s a special time.
You’re about halfway through your 1000 Awesome Things project. Do you have any visions or top-secret plans for what you’ll do when it’s finished?
Well, certainly the biggest plan so far has been working on The Book of Awesome. It’s been almost a year in the making and has around 50 new awesome things in it (like Fixing electronics by smacking them, Tripping and realizing no one saw you, and The last day of school) and a fresh batch of photos taken by a super awesome photographer Sam Javanrouh.
Why do you write 1000 Awesome Things from a largely anonymous point of view?
Well, I think that the best awesome things are the ones that are free and universal and relevant to everybody. I mean, we all love snow days, popping bubble wrap, and hitting a string of green lights on the way home from work. We all love bakery air, finding money in our jacket pockets, and flipping to the cold side of the pillow. So I think the site and The Book of Awesome are those universal things and I’ve tried as best I can to avoid writing from a specific perspective. Like you said, I avoid mentioning where I live, my age, or even my gender most of the time. I’ve tried to remember that these awesome things aren’t about me … they’re things we all like.
Who are some of your favourite writers?
I’m sure my answer to this changes all the time but here’s a Top Ten List for you: Louis Sacher, Jack Handey, David Sedaris, Gala Darling, David Cain, Adrian Tomine, Judy Blume, Charlie Kaufman, Richard Feynman, and Roald Dahl.
Do you think that having a daily writing routine has helped you become a better writer?
Sure, I think practicing anything over and over again makes you better at it. But, you know, there are consequences too. In the two years I’ve been writing 1000 Awesome Things my writing has probably improved — but the bags under my eyes are darker and I’m starting to grow a hunch from leaning over the keyboard all day. I guess what I’m saying is, you know, everything in moderation. It’s probably important to find balance in whatever we do and watch we don’t let everything else slip away.
Okay… tell us your number one pet peeve! (HA! Switched it up on you!)
I got it. Walking into spider webs! It’s disgusting and the sticky strings get in your eyes and mouth and you can feel it in your hair. When I walk into one I try to frantically wipe everything off me but I’m paranoid that the spider is on me somewhere — undoubtedly scampering down my T-shirt in a fit of rage because I’ve just destroyed its house with my face.
What has been your personal highlight of doing 1000 Awesome Things?
Well, to start with I’ve met a great group of bloggers and readers who send me inspiring notes and letters every day. I feel massively lucky and thankful all the time.
And I mean, I know it sounds cliche, but I guess when I stop to think about it we’re all just absolutely lucky to be here. Thousands of people made babies for hundreds of thousands of years so we could be here. We’re the most modern brightest sparks the universe has ever produced, we’re the latest and greatest in a superlong line of fiery survivors, and we’re living on the only live-giving rock there is in the giant blackness. We get to live! We get to be here! We’re in the 80% of the world who can read, the 20% of the world with Internet access, and the some-other-percent of the world who has time to stop and think about things like happiness and small pleasures and awesome moments.
I guess I like to stop and remember sometimes that we’ll never be as young as we are right now. We only get a hundred years to enjoy everything in this world. Every single person we know will be gone in a hundred years — from grocery store cashiers, to telemarketers who call us at dinner, to the people behind us at movies. We only got a hundred years to enjoy interior design, horoscope signs, books, buffets, and radio waves, clean sheets and good movie seats, bakery air, rain hair, bubble wrap, and illegal naps.
So I think my personal highlight has been that — remembering and reminding myself how much joy and happiness there really is in the simple things in life. And how important they are to so many of us every day.
Thanks so much for the chat, Gala. I love your site and really thank you for the opportunity. Have an awesome day, everybody. Neil.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [42] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cherry On Top
[ 4 April 2010, 18:52 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [18] Tags: cherry on top,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cherry On Top
[ 28 March 2010, 12:05 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [15] Tags: cherry on top,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Latest ChinaShop Pieces!
[ 27 March 2010, 09:56 ]
Hoorah! Here are some of my most recent pieces for ChinaShop magazine! I looooooved writing ‘em, so I hope you enjoy reading ‘em just as much!
P.S. Galadarling.com got a magical makeover last night… thanks Dishy! (Some Google Chrome users are having an issue seeing the site correctly, just make sure you have the latest version! We tested it & it is a-okay.)
As much as I love to explore new cities, for me no trip is complete without a thorough investigation of the best places to shop. I can’t help it — it’s just how I am. I do judge a city partially on its materialistic merits.
I found my Austin vintage mecca in Feathers, but other than clothing, I really adore shopping for odd little things. Relics. Unusual curiosities. I blame this partially on my grandmother, who I used to visit during the school holidays. On particularly rainy or restless days, she would declare that it was time to go “hunting for treasures”, & she & I would dive excitedly into the overflowing bureaus, jars & drawers around her house. I would always come away with something fantastic, like a blue & green ring dotted with rhinestones or a gaudy teaspoon which somehow spoke to my young self. I have a taste for these things. I know where the yummies are to be found… Read more!
Each room has a theme. The Petals suite has red rose petals dripping off the light fixture, and covering the bedspread. Everything in the room has a floral motif, based on the idea that “life should be a bed of roses.” Another room called Sleeping In Evening wear features a bed which is — literally — an enormous ballgown. The Sweet Room is exactly what it sounds like: a room decorated with dessert-shaped pillows and a chandelier which appears to be made entirely of baked goods. Other themed rooms include Wallpaper, Forest, Alice, Cloud, Ivy, Blue and Gold… Read more!
When asked what the highlight for the shop had been so far, there were brief allusions to some kind of adventure with a canon, but it was quickly quashed. “We’re not talking about that. Really it’s all about the customers. We’re creating people’s dreams. We did a car for a lady whose husband died — it was her car and he was planning on making it over, she brought it here to have us do it and was crying the whole time.” ... Read more!
Sometimes you meet someone so incredible that you are completely smitten with their view of the world. Angeliska Polacheck is one such person.
We met in 2002, when she was living in New Orleans & I was in New Zealand. A writer, photographer, folklore expert and overall wonder, her style is a brilliant and absolutely original mishmash. Sequined voodoo priestess, hedonistic Victorian, tattered bon vivant, she is all of these things and more. I hope you find her style as inspiring as I do! Read more!
Every season, there are trends which come to the fore & cause us to crinkle our foreheads in confusion. Why is this in fashion? Who is really going to wear it, & if so, why? So many things seem to be designed with the intention of being “interesting” as opposed to flattering. While this certainly happens in high fashion, it seems to be even more prevalent within the realms of young indie designers. Sometimes I look at what’s on sale & wonder, really wonder, why? With that, I present to you some trends which I have mixed feelings about… Read more!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [17] Tags: gala,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cherry On Top
[ 21 March 2010, 07:45 ]
The perfect Sunday… ? Hope yours is delicious either way.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [20] Tags: cherry on top,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Books You Should Read: Pronoia Is The Antidote For Paranoia
[ 17 March 2010, 12:05 ]
Books you should read: Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Why?
Other than the fact that this is one of very few books I have bought twice (my other copy is in New Zealand & I needed to get my fingers all over it again!), this is the opener.
The Experiment
OBJECTIVE: To explore the secrets of becoming a wildly disciplined, fiercely tender, ironically sincere, scrupulously curious, aggressively sensitive, blasphemously reverent, lyrically logical, lustfully compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss.
DEFINITION: Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses & intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.
HYPOTHESES: Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of heroic genius. Pleasure is your birthright. Receptivity is a superpower.
PROCEDURE: Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement & illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Join the conspiracy to shower all of creation with blessings.
GUIDING QUESTION: “The secret of life,” said sculptor Henry Moore to poet Donald Hall, “is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. & the most important thing is — it must be something you cannot possibly do.” What is that task for you?
UNDIGNIFIED MEDITATIONS TO KEEP YOU HONEST: Brag about what you can’t do & don’t have. Confess profound secrets to people who aren’t particularly interested. Pray for the success of your enemies while you’re making love. Change your name every day for a thousand days.
MYTHIC ROLE MODELS: Prometheus & Pronoia. In Greek mythology, Pronoia was the consort of Prometheus, the divine rebel who pilfered a glowing coal from his fellow gods so that he could slip the gift of fire to humans.
TOP-SECRET ALLIES: Sacred janitors, benevolent pranksters, apathy debunkers, lyrical logicians, ethical outlaws, aspiring masters of curiosity, homeless millionaires, humble megalomaniacs, hedonistic midwives, lunatic saints, sly optimists, mystical scientists, dissident bodhisattvas, macho feminists, & socialist libertarians who possess inside information about the big bang.
DAILY PRACTICE: Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, & soften your heart — even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all of your so-called imperfections.
POSSIBLE REWARDS: You will be able to claim the rewards promised you at the beginning of time — not just any old beauty, wisdom, goodness, love, freedom, & justice, but rather: exhilarating beauty that incites you to be true to yourself; crazy wisdom that immunizes you against the temptation to believe your ideals are ultimate truths; outrageous goodness that inspires you to experiment with irrepressible empathy; generous freedom that keeps you alert for opportunities to share your wealth; insurrectionary love that endlessly transforms you; & a lust for justice that’s leavened with a knack for comedy, keeping you honest as you work humbly to liberate everyone in the world from ignorance & suffering.
USAGE NOTE: We employ the adjectival form “pronoiac” rather than “pronoid”. That way, it rhymes with “aphrodisiac” & resonates with “paradisiacal” instead of being conditioned by “paranoid”.
DISCLAIMER: Material in this book may be too intense & controversial for some readers. It contains graphic scenes of peace, love, joy, passion, reverence, splendor, & understanding. You will not find any references to harsh, buzzing fluorescent lights in a cheap hotel room where a heroin dealer plots to get revenge against the authorities at his old high school by releasing sarin gas into the teachers’ lounge.
There are no reports of Nazi skinheads obsessed with re-creating the 14th-century Tartars’ war strategy of catapulting plague-ridden corpses into an enemy’s citadel. Completely absent from these pages are any stories about a psychotic CEO of a Fortune 500 company who has intentionally disfigured his face to elude the CIA, which wants to arrest him for the treasonous sale of his company’s nanotech weapons technology to the Chinese.
You should therefore proceed with caution if you are a jaded hipster who is suspicious of feeling healthy & happy. Ask yourself: “Am I ready to stop equating cynicism with insight? Do I dare take the risk that exposing myself to uplifting entertainment might dull my intelligence?” If you doubt your ability to handle relaxing breakthroughs, you should close the book now.
This book needs to be on your bookshelf, beside your bed, on your coffee table & slid under couch cushions for safe-keeping. Other than Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia, you can read (much) more of Rob Brezny’s work at Free Will Astrology.
(I am thinking of doing more regular book recommendations & reviews — let me know if you’re into it!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [65] Tags: consumption,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Happy Phagwah from New York!
[ 15 March 2010, 10:55 ]
Last Sunday, Chloe, Krysti & I made our way out to Ozone Park in Queens to celebrate Holi (होली)!
What is Holi? It’s a spring festival celebrated by Hindus, Buddhists & Sikhs. While it’s primarily celebrated in India, Nepal & Sri Lanka, it also goes on in places where there are large communities of Hindus, Buddhists or Sikhs.
Holi is a festival of radiance (Teja) in the universe. During this festival, different waves of radiance traverse the universe, thereby creating various colours that nourish and complement the function of respective elements in the atmosphere. (Wikipedia)
Holi lasts 16 days & is celebrated on the last full moon of winter, usually at the end of February or start of March. It’s a way of marking the beginning of spring. The major part of Holi consists of people throwing coloured powder (Gulal) at one another! Everyone carries brightly coloured powder in pouches & small jars, fill super soakers with purple dye & brandish bottles of baby powder. The bright colours are said to signify life, energy & joy. Traditionally, Āyurvedic medicinal herbs like Neem & Bilva were used to colour the powder, which helped ward off colds & flu!
Primarily, Phagwah is a commemoration of the triumph of good over evil. It is traced back to the tradition of the demon king Hiranyakasyapu who tried to kill his own son, the prince named Prahlad, but Lord Vishnu’s blessings saved the boy each time. Eventually, Hiranyakasyapu’s sister Holika (from whose name the word ‘Holi’ derives) attempted to kill the boy by taking him along into fire. Holika who herself was immune to burning. The fire burned down Holika to ashes and Prahlad came out, safe and sound.
Phagwah is also associated with other religious traditions. For example, it is associated with the opening of god Siva’s third eye and the consequent end of Kamadeva, the god of erotic love. Also related to Phagwah is the story of Dhundhi, the invincible ogress who teased the children in the kingdom of Prithu. She was made to flee the kingdom by the shouts, noise, and pranks of the kingdom’s mischievous kids. In addition, Holi is also associated with the tradition of the eternal love of Krishna and Radha. (The Bustle of Phagwah)
I don’t remember when I first heard about Holi, but I do remember seeing photos of it years ago, & knew it was something I had to do! Experiencing Holi in India is something I definitely have to do before I die, so when I found out that Holi was celebrated in New York, I didn’t have to be told twice! I immediately told Chloe & we made plans to go.
In Queens, New York, a parade — which contains floats & groups of drummers — snakes its way along the street, before ending up at a park where everyone goes crazy slinging coloured powder about! Not content to just stand on the side of the road & watch, we snuck under a barricade to join the revelers!
While traditionally people wear white to Holi, most people were just wearing jeans & hoodies. I wore a full-length white dress from Forever 21, a purple sweater from Gap & a jacket from H&M.
There is no better way to cast off the grey of winter than literally covering yourself in bright colours. It was an incredible experience, almost transcendent — I felt as if I was soaking up beauty & joy & optimism, absorbing it through my skin.
We had such an amazing time. Everyone was so friendly & welcoming & sweet. We got lots of hugs & so many people gave us huge smiles before smearing a stripe of magenta, royal blue, deep purple or lime green across our faces! People were going ballistic throwing baby powder all over one another — it was like a perpetual dust storm in front of us. Families walked around together, their faces stained purple with dye.
I haven’t done something which made me feel so alive in such a long time. Everyone looked so beautiful covered in colour, & I felt beautiful too. When I got back to Manhattan, I walked from the West Village to the East Village, bedaubed with pink, purple, orange, blue, purple & green, beaming at people who didn’t know what to think! I didn’t want to wash it off… My normally white hair still has some pastel staining & I love it.
Have you ever been to a Holi celebration? Would you like to go?
Photos (except for the last one) by (who else?) Chloe Rice.
Extras For Experts:
Angel wrote about her Holi obsession here!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [69] Tags: aesthetic,
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video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Latest ChinaShop Pieces!
[ 6 March 2010, 15:15 ]
Here’s a sampling of what I got up to during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week!
My Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week highlight was, without a doubt, the Betsey Johnson show, and I’m sure I wasn’t alone. Betsey’s shows aren’t just a moving catalog of latest looks — they’re a full-blown party, with a kicking soundtrack, attitude-laden models and a vivacious atmosphere. The crowd simmers excitedly, the models are laughing with one another and practicing dance-steps, and balloons litter the backstage area… Read more!
Fashion Institute of Technology’s Tokyo Fashion Festa: A Fashion Show of Rarely Seen Lolita, Gothic Lolita, and Tokyo Girls’ Styles marked the last show of my New York Fashion Week experience. Designed as preview of FIT’s upcoming exhibition, Japan Fashion Now, it was a mix of short film, live fashion & musical performances which caused me to turn to my companion and say, “I feel really… foreign!” Read more!
Spring is on its way — not that you would know it on the East Coast — and so is Alice In Wonderland, Tim Burton’s latest masterpiece. While it may just seem like a simple movie release, it definitely isn’t. It’s going to be a key influence throughout the year in the world of fashion. We’re already seeing allusions to Wonderland style, from cropped White Rabbit-esque jackets to fob watches and super-feminine, tulle skirts. Believe me when I say that you’ll be seeing a lot more of this surreal and psychedelic-but-demure aesthetic!
So when I saw Girly Girl Shoes‘ latest releases — a collection of crystal-embellished ballet flats in bright candy colors as well as some daring metallic heels, I knew they were perfectly on-trend. I had a quick chat with Nicole Woo, the designer of Girly Girl Shoes, to see where she gets her inspiration, who she designs for, and what’s next… Read more!
Christopher Bailey is a man of vision. He spoke about creating the atmosphere of a fashion show, & how every small detail mattered — from the attendees to who you were seated next to, & even the lighting & the scent of the room. He said that he wanted people to walk out of the show with a certain feeling & emotion. It’s so fantastic to see fashion designers return to theatrical shows, after years of minimalism & simplicity on the runway. Everyone loves a good performance! Read more!
Combining pop art sensibilities with graffiti culture, Mr. Brainwash’s relentless riffing on celebrity culture is at once familiar and colorful. He recasts Angelina Jolie as Marilyn Monroe, smothers a 7′ can of spray-paint with Louis Vuitton’s famous monogram, and recreates Jimi Hendrix on a canvas covered in crushed records. At the back of the room, almost hidden in the dark, was a classic NYC cab sealed inside life-sized Matchbox packaging.
If Andy Warhol and Banksy were able to mate — and had been willing to do so — Mr. Brainwash is the likely result… Read more!
It’s the most wonderful time of the yeeeeear… February is the month that fashionistas love and dread. Fashion week menacingly dominates the psyche. From Paris to New York and London to Milan, the selection of shows is staggering. Style aficiandos stumble through airports, sleepwalk through shows, subsist mostly on champagne and do their best to report what they’ve seen. Glamorous though it may seem, the reality is far from it.
Here’s my guide to surviving fashion week with style, grace and God willing, a little sleep… Read more!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [12] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Practice Major Mega Supreme Body Love... Daily!
[ 3 March 2010, 11:27 ]
Stop buying & reading magazines or websites which talk about weight or speculate as to which celebrity has an eating disorder. It doesn’t matter whether the comments are “Dude she needs a cheeseburger” or “Ugh if I looked like that I wouldn’t leave the house”, IT AIN’T HELPING! All it does is foster judgment of ourselves & others, neither of which EVER lead to anything positive! Evaluating other people’s bodies is so dangerous & destructive! Let’s learn to stop doing it. Let’s help one another stop doing it. Let’s learn to see the beauty in other people instead.
Learn to use your body in a new way. Take a sex course or trapeze lessons. Wake yourself up to the myriad of ways in which you can surprise yourself…
Take a life drawing class. (Dr Sketchy’s Anti Art School is my favourite!) You’ll develop an appreciation for different types of bodies, which might just make you love your own a little bit more.
Throw away your scales. For real. Why do you need them? Baby, you don’t.
Make posters for your house which say, “I am a beautiful person & I have a gorgeous body”. Thanks so much, @JennaKarl!
Look at yourself naked in the mirror — often. Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Look in the mirror & say out loud that you love yourself, or give yourself compliments — even if it makes you feel stupid or embarrassed. Trust me, that will change! You just have to do it often!
Tell your friends, & even complete strangers, how beautiful they are. Everyone wants to hear it & we so seldom do!
Start to view food as fuel as opposed to some kind of enemy. Get educated about what you’re eating. Learn about additives & high-fructose corn syrup & find out what you are really putting into your body. More importantly, learn what it does to your body — from the physical to the psychological effects. Knowledge is power!
“Your bit about how you think of food as pure fuel for your body, wow. I’ve always been overweight. My whole family is into the fatty southern cooking and all… Well I’m now doing much better about how I eat and what I put into my body, I feel so energized.” — C.M.
Drink more water! As well as being amazing for your skin & your insides, we often think we’re hungry when we’re actually really dehydrated. If you’re a compulsive snacker, making the switch to water can make a huge difference.
Whenever you have a negative thought about your body, run these four questions through your mind:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
Byron Katie developed this powerful set of questions — you can learn more about them & her technique here! (I only just found out about it & am really excited to get into it some more!)
Realise that wanting to look like a Hollywood starlet is a very narrow & Western ideal. Hollywood is not everything, & that version of “beauty” isn’t beautiful to a lot of cultures. Don’t be afraid to be different! Breaking the mold is how you get things done…
Move your body… regularly. No matter how unfit you think you are. I had my first session with a personal trainer last week, & the amount of exercise I did before having to go to the bathroom to dry retch was laughable. As embarrassed as I was — & trust me, I was mortified — I took it as a sign that THE TIME HAS COME. I’m 26 & my body thinks I’m 70. When I went back a couple of days later, I had a great time! Seriously, if I can do this, you can too. I am the least athletic person ever. (It was compulsory to do sport at my school, so I formed a croquet team. That is how not-athletic I am.) Turn a corner. Make a promise to yourself that you will give your body what it needs, not just what it thinks it wants! You are worth it!
Learn to accept yourself as you are. Your nose, the crinkle in your forehead, the curve of your belly, your long toes, all of these things make up the person you are. They add to your juiciness & uniqueness! This is who you are! No amount of self-loathing, worry or doubt will change those things. Love the one you’re with!
Pick one part of your body at a time to focus & love on. Start with something easy, then make it more challenging for yourself. Take a photo of that area & learn to love it. (Thanks, @TulpaBlack!) Draw love hearts on it (either the photo or the body part, whichever you prefer!). Tell it you love it. “Crazy curly ringlets, I love you!” “Bumpy bodacious booty, you make my heart soar!” Make it funny, make it ridiculous, do whatever you gotta do but pour all the love you have into it.
When you find yourself thinking negatively about a part of you, strive to see the good in it. Even if the amount of good versus the amount of “bad” is tiny — amplify the positive. Blow it up huge. Think about that instead. Soon, the love will run rampant & sweep the sadness up in a big hug.
@miss__lizzi says you should research the time in which your body shape was most admired! Her era was the 1920s. When was yours?
“...I love every dimple, roll, nook and cellulite cranny. I am fat and I love the way I look. Even in the harsh lighting of my room. The only tragedy here is that I didn’t try doing this sooner. And that my camera is too low quality to capture exactly how cute that swimsuit is.”
Stop focusing on perfection — & this includes what you look like & what you ate today. You are human, which means you are complicated & not a robot! Perfection is unattainable & totally maddening. Learn to accept & be loving of yourself NO MATTER WHAT.
If you need it, get help. You’re not the first person to have a problem with food or body issues, believe me! Additionally, make no mistake about it, IF YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER IT CAN BE BEATEN. I am living proof of this. Please believe me, please don’t think you are the only exception to the rule. I am going to be writing more about this tomorrow so sit tight!
Learning to love our bodies & our looks is an ongoing process. It’s like that Pantene commercial: “It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen!” You just have to keep the faith & keep on truckin’!
The world is so big. Big enough that we can have 30,000,000 different types of beauty, & they are ALL cool & ALL valid & ALL fabulous!
Celebrate your body! No matter what you think of it, it is still sexy as hell! It is still beautiful! Learn it! Live it!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [87] Tags: how to,
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the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How Do You Embrace & Celebrate Your Body?
[ 2 March 2010, 15:33 ]
Last Wednesday, I sent out a little Twitter broadcast.
& here’s what came back.
@Susantrax dancing in my underwear
@thelinus belly dancing! it makes me like my stomach, makes me feel sexy and healthy!
@juliettemaxwell I kiss my shoulder without noticing, as if to say Thanks, love ya.
@posbleak Spend some time marveling at the things it can do and how the smallest changes can improve those abilities! Also, reading about how our biochemistry acts on our feelings – it’s eye-opening and creates new self-awareness.
@CMYKaboom I celebrate my body by reminding myself that throughout the history of existence, no creature has existed that embodies my form
@shessomickey By looking at F*ckYeahChubbyGirls on Tumblr! & dressing in beautiful clothing that fits & pleases me. I dress to feel beautiful. Being beautiful comes naturally after that. Also stretching and yoga. I love feeling good in my body, limber and vigorous and powerful. Stretching in the morning =
@luismuybien Though I’m thin and not the muscular type, I’ve learned to just focus on being healthy for now. I’ll eventually be fit.
@hachikoxbb wearing things that accentuate my favorite body parts, letting myself have adequate rest, lots of “self-love”, & yoga! xo : )
@raachyyy by wearing dresses every day, theyre so much nicer than jeans, they’re so much girlier and allow me to feel good about myself
@staygo1dkid Cute dresses! High heels! Colored tights! Nothing is better than a dress that fits perfectly with high heels to accent it.
@dollypink I’m a burlesque performer and I celebrate my body by shimmying my boobs!
@kitty_polaca i used to do belly dance to learn to LOVE my body & really helped me. i praise this lil temple of mine :) #radicalselflove
@British_Style By wearing things I like, not things people say I should like, and by just walking round my room in heels when I feel down :)
@lydiahudgens i feed it well, exercise on the daily, embrace it with creams & masks & the occasional massage & celebrate it with clothes. i fashion photography because of i love celebrating the power of femininity, of the way the body moves.. each body is beautiful & photography allows you to bring out little separate details that truly celebrate the individual. PS: this quote (“We are becoming the men we wanted to marry”) is the realization of the modern feminist I think. superb.
@SugarKinesis I celebrate my body by trying to do the best I can for it, from exercise to eating right to pampering to sleeping well…. ...even though I’m not perfect at it, it then rewards me and shows appreciation by making me look and feel better. It’s the.. ...only one I have, so I want to treat it with respect! (sorry for the 3-part answer!)
@idance_iwrite idance! in class, in clubs, in my kitch. u get the picture.
@trendology w/ a stretch every morning, cupcakes, private clothing optional 90s dance parties, & toasts – cheers to my constant companion!
@asil I do yoga bcos it’s nice to know small differences my body can make each day. Every practice is just like “a date” with my body
@denoo ...how do i em&cel my bod? by loving the fact that im woman: soft, delicious, supple, delish, warm & flawed… you can never celebrate another persons body unless you can celebrate yours first… but honestly why do i have to go an extra step to em&cel me? i love my yellow teeth, my bad skin, my flat bum, my hair. i’m me #radicalselflove
@ErinKys No longer being afraid of wearing clothes I love despite media telling us fatties aren’t ‘deserving’ of great fashion!
@flowermash I go some days w/o makeup to remain comfortable in my own skin. I dress in a way that flatters & inspires me. others: Emphasize specifically what I adore about them. Compliments are so life giving! #radicalselflove
@jujutreasures I think that art and photography are great ways to celebrate and appreciate other people’s bodies (as well as your own)
@glassofwin I embrace & celebrate my body by respecting it & not poisoning it with toxic foods/chemicals & staying as healthy as I can
@alihalsaba I embrace & celebrate my body through dance… every class I take I am amazed at the things it can do!
@hachikoxbb wearing things that accentuate my favorite body parts, adequate rest, lots of “self-love”, & yoga! xo : ) #radicalselflove
@katelanfoisy My body is a map of those who came before me. Every freckle, scar or bump was a hand me down from the past. The way I hold a cup or touch my cheek as I am laughing are traits passed down from my ancestors. That’s how I embrace and celebrate mine.
@colene1985 I celebrate my own by trying on my whole wardrobe when I’m not going anywhere!!! ...
@Ellie_Di Strangely enough, I feel most in love with my body when I’m nekkid. Everything where it should be; just me as I am.
@blferguson134 I used to hate the way I looked, but thankfully, I have a great friend who helped me learn to accept my body. I love it now!
@konekochan88 I celebrate my body by what I put on it. Love clothing and piercings! #radicalselflove
@Emilybakescakes Wearing (only) sexy underwear around the house even when no one else can see me. #radicalselflove
@url_elf I don’t dress from insecurity. We don’t have to wear certain things to look thin to be acceptable or confident. I embrace others for who they are, not how they look. I don’t deride ppl for having a look different than mine #radicalselflove
@LadyMonstrous #radicalselflove I celebrate my body w/ martial arts kata and stretching. Nothing like consciously using it to feel its value!
@astrasmagic I look at Goddess symbols & remind myself that my own religion sees pear-shaped women as divine
@alorelle I embrace my body by loving it. I masturbate, I use Lush products, I stare at myself in the mirror like Narcissus. No shame
@seakisst I like to wear fabulously sexy lingerie under my everyday clothes, provide my body with healthy, tasty food and sleep!
“Outward beauty is an easy thing to become obsessed with in our society. I haven’t always had an inner confidence. I haven’t always looked at my reflection & loved it, because there was always something I wanted to fix, because someone always looked better. This journey was about finding something that was beautiful inside of me & knowing that I own it. & it’s unique & rare.” — Jessica Simpson
“I think sometimes what happens is that all of this feeling out of control manifests itself in trying to control your body; whether it’s an eating disorder or talking about getting your nose fixed, as if that’s going to be the solution to all the pressure.” — Susan Sarandon
So, tell us! How do you celebrate & embrace your body? What’s your favourite way to get down with your own divine deliciousness?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [54] Tags: how to,
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the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!We Are Becoming The Men We Wanted To Marry
[ 23 February 2010, 16:59 ]
A few months ago, I received this email from Crosby. It was so amazing that it brought tears to my eyes, & I wanted to share it — I was just waiting for the right occasion. I think this is a perfect illustration of RADICAL SELF LOVE, & radical self love above all else. Thanks so much, girl. You are brave & magical.
From: Crosby
To: Gala
“I’ve listened to Love & Sequins #3, well three times so far, & there are so many lovely nuggets of truth in there. I just had, or am having?, a complete life upheaval, that started with my wonderful, creative, inspiring mom dying suddenly two years ago & have since involved things that would only be pretty in a dark way if Francesca Lia Block wrote about them. However, as I emerged from that time, one of the most significant things that happened was that I finally was able to say goodbye to a certain boy I had been in love with for the better part of a decade. I think that losing my mom and understanding loss and grief in such an intimate way enabled me to be able to finally and firmly walk away from a situation that did not serve or support me. I had this realization one night that I no longer had to wait, that I loved me now, and that love was stronger than the promise of what might someday come to be. Totally cliche & yet no less meaningful when it finally happened one night.
“So anyway, I just turned 30 & after a year of having my concepts of family, love & all the rest really turned upside down, I decided I wanted to do something, a sort of celebration & commitment to myself, to affirm that no matter what happened, or who left or died or wouldn’t or couldn’t show up in relationship with me, blah blah blah, that I was committed to being all of those things, mother, lover, best friend etc, for myself. So I bought myself a tiny diamond ring, went to the lovely self-realization gardens here in San Diego & quietly spoke the vows I wrote out loud to myself, looking out over the ocean, in one of my prettiest dresses.
“& now I have this ring on my finger that reminds me that I am in control of my experience & my life, & that I am my own partner. When I was putting the whole little idea together, I was reminded of the Gloria Steinem quote, “We are becoming the men we wanted to marry,” but it’s more than that (not sure where I sit on the whole traditional marriage idea anyway) it felt more of a right of passage, like a growing up thing, like a being a woman without a mom to call up on the phone when she is sad or happy thing, like a woman who worried about not being good enough finally looking at that sad, lovely boy & realizing that this wasn’t good enough. It’s said that the original meaning of the word virgin was a woman whole unto herself, or a free woman, not possessed by any man – I felt like I wanted to reclaim that freedom for myself and also that I was no longer exactly the girl I was before and I wanted to honor and acknowledge that for myself in a meaningful way. I know other women have done like entire wedding ceremonies, & knew a girl who had a “shower” for herself where she registered & had a party celebrating her buying her first home, but I just wanted to do something simple with me & me (I’m a gemini so maybe this whole dual me/me thing is a bit easier to visualize!).
“I would love it for this idea of self-marriage, or self-commitments or whatever to make it into your book, because I think while it’s a new idea it’s a pretty powerful one, & fitting given the changing expectations & cultural/personal implications of marriage, & just the ever-changing nature of life itself. It seems like the relationship you have with yourself is really the driver in the quality of relationships you have with others. Two of my friends got tears in their eyes when I told them, as much as for what it meant to me as for their own desire to be able to do something similar, to be able to stare into the mirror or whatever & know that kind of fierce self-love, & I would love for women to consider the fact that they don’t have to wait for this magical relationship to appear, they can, in a way, cultivate that for themselves, in a way that is deeply selfish, in the best way.
“When I do get into a new relationship, which I have a feeling is going to be pretty soon, I know that for the rest of my life, no matter the marriage or partnership or whatever, that I married myself first, & I will use that to guide me in the future, & I think it will make me a better partner.”
Ahhh, Crosby, you are amazing!
Nonpareils, I ask you: What do you think about the concept of self-marriage? Is it something you’d ever do?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [114] Tags: inspiration,
the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now
[ 14 February 2010, 16:08 ]
Radical Self Love is a big topic. Kind of daunting, actually. If you want to delve into it, where do you begin? Here are some ideas. To you from me, Pinky Lee!
Make lists of reasons why you love yourself…
& write down (or keep mental lists) of the compliments other people give you. We’re so quick to believe people when they say nasty, unkind or “brutally honest” (ahem, cruel) things to or about us, & we discard all the times we’re told how amazing, beautiful or intelligent we are. Usually this is because our sense of self-doubt is stronger than our self-love. If you can build up the love side of things, this will begin to change.
Reach out to others…
...& do it regularly. When we don’t talk to people about how we’re feeling, or don’t have anyone to bounce ideas around with, it can be easy to feel lost, confused & out of touch. It also makes it easier for depression & sadness to nibble at our toes. Being reminded that the world is bigger than our bubble can inspire & uplift us.
Think of a way you could make your life easier — then do it.
This could be anything from hiring an assistant to buying a better computer or just learning to say “no” more often. Whatever it is, make it a priority. Do some research on how to make it happen, & then get going!
Change the way you think about food.
So many of us get trapped into thinking that food is “good” or “bad” & there is no in-between. Associating a word like “good” or “bad” with a type of food doesn’t help us, it doesn’t mean anything, it just makes us feel guilty or like we should be “doing better”. What has helped me is to think of food as pure fuel for my body, & considering how it will make me feel or how much energy it will give me. I know that my body (& my brain) work better when I feed myself with fresh raw vegetables & lots of water & fruit, & that I feel sluggish & useless when I eat heaping forkfuls of pasta. If you can think about food that way, there’s less guilt, & you feel more informed & aware.
Stretch in the mornings.
It gets the blood moving, it fires up your brain & it gives you a few moments to just be still & grounded before the day begins.
Really listen to people when they are speaking.
Look at them, make eye contact & be present. They’ll feel good that you care enough to properly engage them, & you’ll feel great in return.
Have media black-out days.
The concept of doing this terrifies me but I know it needs to happen. Stay away from your computer, phone & television for an entire day. Those of us are who technology addicts will FREAK out at this idea but that’s an even bigger sign that we should try it. So many of us use technology to distract ourselves & keep our minds busy, when we would be far better served by just sitting still & learning to be comfortable alone.
Have that “awkward” conversation.
You’ve been holding it in too long. Bite the bullet, take a deep breath, & tell the truth. Be gentle but honest. No one can predict how they’ll react, but it doesn’t really matter. The time has come. Say it, & move on.
Read through the results when you search Tumblr for “love yourself”...
& be proud at the way this generation — YOUR GENERATION — is shaping up. You are part of this. This is your movement.
Ask for help.
Whatever you’re going through, someone else has been through before, & come out the other side. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel — don’t be afraid to ask someone for advice or help. It could make a huge difference.
Know that you are good enough ALL THE TIME.
Yes, you are.
Find a mantra & hold it close.
My new favourite is courtesy of Emily. Om Namah Shivaya, roughly translated, means “Greetings to She Who I am Becoming” &/or “With great respect, I honor my heart”. So beautiful!
Print out Sark’s picture & stick it in your Radical Self Love Bible.
No further explanation needed!
Do your very, very best to stop judging people.
Wayne Dyer said, “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Those critical voices inside of you get a great work-out when you let them loose on someone else, & it’s like training for the grand event — that of judging yourself. If you don’t exercise those voices, they’ll eventually disappear altogether, making you a much happier person.
Explore your sexuality.
If you don’t know a lot about what makes you tick, decide that it’s time to FIND OUT! Then, once you know, COMMUNICATE IT! Don’t be afraid to tell your lover what you really want, what you wish they’d do or make suggestions. If they’re threatened by the fact that you are in tune with your sexuality, THEY’RE NOT WORTH IT! As Jay-Z would say, “On to the next one!“ Unlocking your real desires is powerful & potent & important. Don’t downplay it & don’t accept anything less.
Express love in as many ways as you can.
Tell your friends you ADORE them, say thank you & mean it, flash your biggest & most sincere smile at strangers on the street, hug people for longer than normal. The more love you give out, the more it builds inside of you & the more you’ll get back — I pinky promise.
Wear sequins.
They’re a wonderful mood booster. If you’re too conservative to wear them, buy sequinned knickers & wear them secretly!
Take a bubblebath wearing a tiara.
Embrace the unknown.
Not everything needs to be planned to the last minute detail! Mystery is wonderful & invigorating. It is the zest of life.
Clean out your closet.
In addition to getting rid of old junk, cleaning out closets or cupboards is therapeutic because at the same time, you’re clearing space in your life for new, better things.
Increase the amount of spinach you eat.
It’s like a miracle food. It’s so good for you & makes you feel amazing! Throw it in a smoothie (you won’t even taste it), use it as the base instead of lettuce in a salad or just snack on baby spinach fresh out of the bag. Yum!
Forget about your “to do” list & just BE.
That’s when you’ll have the most fun, make the best breakthroughs & experience the most amazing adventures. Life is much more exciting & wonderful when you throw caution to the wind & do something ridiculous.
Make a little extra effort every day.
Your definition of “effort” could be wearing a bow on your head, brightly coloured socks or even just taking the time to sit down with a book every night before bed. Just pick something that you know will make you feel good, & then do it.
Listen to new types of music & dance!
Country? Bollywood? Rap? Seek it out & enjoy it with your whole body.
Treat yourself to new knickers.
It’s almost a sure-fire way of feeling sexier & more delighted. Getting 5 pairs of cute knickers for $25 at Victoria’s Secret is one of the great joys in life, I think!
Change your alarm clock to something which makes you smile.
For a long time, I had Flight Of The Conchords’ Foux De Fa Fa as my wake-up call. It was a wonderful way to wake up. “...Boeuf!”
Be good to your body.
You probably know what that means for you. So what are you waiting for?
Know that you deserve love…
From yourself & from everyone else.
Throw away your scales.
Or, if they were expensive & maybe something you need around, hide them. Put them in the back of your closet, into storage or inside a suitcase. Just don’t look at them. I haven’t weighed myself since 2006 & it hasn’t impacted my life negatively at all — in fact, I feel more free than ever. I don’t care how much I weigh, I just go by how I feel & how my clothing fits. You might like to give it a shot!
Be vibrant & colourful.
If not in dress, then in word & deed. The world has enough grey! Be the antidote!
Do something you’ve been afraid to do.
@ifyouneedtime tweeted, “Happy Valentine’s Day to me: 10 canvases, new acrylics, and texture building mix for the paint! 5+ yrs since I’ve painted. #radicalselflove” It’s never too late to do what you really want to do. Don’t let other people’s opinions or fear or criticism stop you from being as wonderful as you can be.
Read self hatred: beneath sugar-coated criticism + self improvement.
Self-criticism is not “love”, and it is certainly not indifferent. It’s a form of hatred. And when I name that, when I see it for what it is (raw and uncomfortable and saddening…) when I refuse to sugar-coat self criticism, judgment, agitation, and constantly trying to improve myself, then I’m one quantum leap closer to freedom. Out of the swamp. Grounded in love…
Start thinking of Valentine’s Day as a day for YOU.
A day to bask in the brilliance of you. A day to celebrate making it this far. A day to totally GET OFF on how rad you are. Treat yourself, luxuriate, have a bath which leaves you soft & wrinkly. Have a long nap & dream. Own it, make it yours. Then do the same next year, & the next, & the next…
Recognise that you are a miracle.
Eat dark chocolate.
As @kitty_polaca would say, FEED YOUR CURVES! Plus, dark chocolate is one of the healthiest foods you can eat! Truth!
Stop worrying about other people’s opinions.
It doesn’t matter whether it is the opinion of a stranger or your husband, sometimes we let what other people think determine how we live our life… & it’s ridiculous. Ultimately, their thoughts on what we do & how we do it are irrelevant — all that matters is that it sits well with you.
Nourish yourself.
Get still & listen to what your body is telling you it really needs.
Play the drums.
If you don’t have a drum-kit (& few of us do) or know of a drumming circle near you, chopsticks & a couple of boxes will totally do the trick! Shut the door, close your eyes, & start drumming. It makes for great therapy.
Find amazing new icons & role models.
Read up & get inspired to live your life out loud.
Get more sunshine.
It really will make you feel so good. In addition to strengthening your immune system, muscles & bones, Vitamin D also stimulates the pineal gland, which is the part of the brain responsible for producing happy feelings. Yum!
Stop trying to “fit in”.
It’s just conformity, which is the most boring thing ever! So WHAT if people stare at you? So WHAT if some people don’t get it? IT DOESN’T MATTER! Do your damn thing & be proud!
Recognise that life is only ever what you make it.
So why not make it magical, wonderful, beautiful & strange?
Get out everything that you’ve been holding onto.
Record it to your voicemail, draw it, write it down, just get it out of you somehow. Then destroy it, & let it go.
Write a letter to yourself as a child.
This can be an amazing exercise in forgiveness & pure, unadultered self love.
Run away.
Spend some time by yourself or with a close friend. Escape the usual. Go somewhere you’ve never been, spend some time, soak it up. It will shake up your vision of what the world is like & give you a fresh new perspective on things.
Keep your Radical Self Love totem on you at all times & start telling people about it.
Scary? Maybe. Do it anyway. Tell people what it is, why you’re wearing it, what it means to you & why they should try Radical Self Love too… !
Be brave.
Take a deep breath & just go for it.
Talk to strangers.
Even though your mother told you not to! You never know who you’ll meet or what genius they might impart.
Respect yourself 100%...
& don’t accept anything less from anyone else.
Make the most of every opportunity.
Even when you’re tired, afraid or nervous. If you hold back every time you don’t feel amazing, you’ll miss out on so much of life. Make the commitment to living boldly. Always remember: Fortes fortuna adiuvat. Fortune favours the brave.
Appreciate the people in your life.
Because everyone has a choice as to whether they want to be in your life or not! If you don’t show them how much they mean to you, they might not stick around, & it’s a hard lesson to learn. Be good to them. Let them know how much you value them all the time. You cannot be too loving!
Work on your Radical Self Love Bible all the time.
Even after the month is over. Radical Self Love is not just a one-month project! It is a life-long adventure! In your Bible, you can chart your progress, dive deeper into your own weirdness, explore your contradictions & embrace your own unique form of madness. Put in anything that you think is relevant. Journal your thoughts, chart your moods, make dream sheets (also called vision boards, just on a smaller scale), write affirmations, take note of powerful sayings & compose love letters to yourself. Keep it with you at all times & work on it when you’re waiting for the bus. Ask yourself questions & take time answering them. Re-answer them every week. See how things change. Channel powerful women until you feel like you are one too. Nothing is forbidden, everything is allowed. BE YOU!
Dress up for yourself.
Wear things which make you happy! Don’t dress to “attract a mate” or to impress your peer group, wear things that you like. Make yourself happy!
Really take time for yourself.
If you’re constantly scrambling around, bouncing from work to social engagement & back again, it’s inevitable that you’re going to feel exhausted & worn out. Taking some time for yourself is so valuable & something that a lot of us forget about. Wake up half an hour earlier & do some yoga or sun salutations, even sit in a comfortable chair & do some deep breathing — anything to get you grounded & centred for the day. It makes a huge, huge difference to your quality of life.
Think about this every day: “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” (Ayn Rand)
Thanks, Chris Guillebeau.
Set yourself enormous goals.
Goals which scare you, goals which cause a lump in your throat. AIM HIGH! Most people aim for mediocrity, & that’s exactly what they get. Don’t you deserve better?
Don’t allow yourself to rest on your laurels.
So you’ve made a name for yourself? Congratulations, that’s wonderful! Now try something new. Being the best is boring! Get into another industry, start something from the ground up. Don’t just do the same thing over & over again. Challenge yourself! It’s so much fun.
Be your own superhero.
Make magic every day.
It’s worth the small amount of extra effort to cultivate a more beautiful life.
Don’t live your life online.
...‘Cause as much as we love our computers, it only represents such a small part of what life is all about! Getting out into the streets, parks, mountains or oceans is so healthy & so vital. Unplug, do something different. Surprise yourself!
Volunteer.
Pick something which is important to you & see what you can do to help. Can you offer time, money, your voice or influence? So many people would really, really, really appreciate your help & attention.
Dance in public.
It’s very liberating if you’ve never done it before! & even if you HAVE... Dance in the library or something! Cause a scene. Make people smile. Totally worth it.
Be your own best friend.
As opposed to your own worst enemy…
Support other women.
No matter WHAT you may think of their choices or behaviour. It’s so easy to be jealous of one another or act like crazy people but ultimately it does no good. Seriously, swallow it down. We need each other, now more than ever!
Don’t patronise places that treat you poorly.
It only makes you feel bad about yourself! Give your money to the people who do a good job & who appreciate your business.
Don’t settle for things just because “it’s always been this way”.
Maybe it used to be that way, or maybe it is that way for other people, but NOT FOR YOU! Eff the status quo! Don’t compromise on things which are important to you!
Be good to your temple.
You only get one — might as well lavish it with love!
Be impeccable with your word.
This is from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements. “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.” If you say you’ll do something, do it. Don’t speak badly of other people. Use your words to uplift & spread love. Be honest & kind with the things you say.
Do “the right thing”, even when you’d get away with it, even when no one is watching.
It’s all about integrity, baby!
Treat other people with respect at all times.
Everybody, no matter their situation, deserves it.
Be compassionate.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand other people, or see where they’re coming from, but if you make a commitment to being compassionate, you will start to get a deeper understanding of human nature. It will make you much more peaceful, ‘cause when you can see where people are coming from, it’s hard to be mad!
Watch Eve Ensler.
...& write this down.
“You have to give to the world the thing that you want the most, in order to fix the broken parts inside you.” Eve Ensler, you are so good.
Operate on your own agenda.
Do you want to look a certain way, or does society want you to? Do you really want to have a social life that looks like this, or is it just what you think is expected? Don’t allow any industry or societal standard to bully you. You are who you are, & it’s worth hanging onto.
Innovate.
Try new things. Shake up your routine. See what works.
Evaluate your life & ruthlessly cut out the things which aren’t working.
...While at the same time keeping this in mind:
“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.” Thanks, Wayne Dyer.
Come up with your own definition of spirituality.
It doesn’t have to be religious or woo-woo in any way, it can just be a way of reconnecting yourself to the present moment. Some people do this by dancing, others by meditating. Whatever it is, make time for it in your life, & make it a priority.
Share your dreams.
Do not be afraid. When you share a dream with someone who loves you, you open yourself up to new ideas, new contacts & sometimes an extra pair of hands to pitch in! Be brave.
Reinvent yourself as an expression of pure love.
Spend time with people who do good things.
It will reinstate your faith in the human race & remind you of the inherent goodness in people. Much more uplifting than hanging out with pessimists!
Take action.
Channel Clint Eastwood.
& I quote: “Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.”
Incorporate meditative ritual into your life.
I think the word “meditation” puts a lot of people off, & it doesn’t need to. My idea of meditation is just focusing on nothing or clearing your mind. Walking meditation is rad — you walk out the door & keep going, letting all thoughts go as soon as they float into your consciousness. Don’t judge or beat yourself up if your mind is screaming for attention the first few times you do it, it’s totally normal. The pay-off — real clarity of mind — is amazing & worth going for.
Be inclusive.
Invite your friends places. Include everyone in the conversation. Ask people you don’t know so well about themselves. Make people feel like you want them there. The love & appreciation they’ll beam back at you will make you feel wonderful!
Think about what you want the theme of your life to be.
Is it an epic love story or a grand adventure? Or is the theme something more simple, & able to be summed up with a single word? “Discovery” or “freedom”? How can you bring that theme into your everyday life?
Think about how you can encourage other people to love themselves too.
When we carry the torch of radical self love, we become ambassadors for it, & are infused with the energy & ability to pass it on to other people. We can do this just by being ourselves — a living example — but there are specific ways in which we can help other people love themselves too. Think about your unique talents & strengths. How can you carry out the self love buzz?
Celebrate the ways in which you have grown & changed.
Growth is good, change is wonderful, evolution is fantastic. It’s proof that we’re on a path, that we’re going somewhere, that we’re living out our story to its full potential. Bake yourself a cake or somethin’!
Embrace your power.
Start dressing in a way which makes you feel sexy & confident…
As opposed to just following what’s in style. Not all silhouettes suit all people. There are definitely styles that are best for individual body types. Once you know what works for you, make the most of it! Few things make you feel better than knowing that you look great.
Love everyone.
Even when they hurt you, even when they don’t get it, even when they don’t listen & even when they behave badly. When you love, miracles happen.
Listen to Leonard Cohen.
“Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” (Thank you, Nadia.)
Get more sleep.
Most of us don’t get anywhere near enough hours of rest, & it can seriously impair our bodies & emotional states. Just go to bed a little bit earlier — you’ll feel so much better.
Look at this photo of Madonna. (NSFW!)
Be inspired. That is radical self love in action!
Apologise.
“While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.” (Buddy Hackett) Don’t allow problems or misunderstandings to fester. Don’t walk around angry, stewing in your juices. Just apologise so everyone can move on.
Take yourself on dates.
Get dressed up & go to the library, eat a delicious lunch next to the river, ride your bike around the city & make the best dinner you possibly can. I’ve said it before & I will say it again, you deserve your love much more than anyone else does.
Don’t take yourself too seriously!
It never leads to anything good, haha. If you can laugh at yourself, you’re well on your way.
Forgive yourself.
It’s all in the past. Time to move on, babe.
Just love yourself.
No matter the circumstances. You are always good enough, you always deserve it & you are always beautiful, despite what you might think or believe. Just love yourself.
Leave a comment with your best tip for RADICAL SELF LOVE.
Yes please!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [111] Tags: inspiration,
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the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I'm So Mad With Love...
[ 13 February 2010, 10:37 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [16] Tags: inspiration,
quote,
the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!The Playgirl's Guide To Radical Self-Love
[ 1 February 2010, 10:14 ]
Valentine’s Day is in two weeks. (Eeeeep!) Alternately loathed & lauded (usually depending on which side of the relationship fence you’re on!), for many of us, it’s a day that doesn’t fit quite right.
Yes, you can curse everyone you’ve ever crushed on. You can threaten to burn down Hallmark’s hallowed halls. You can have an anti-Valentine’s Day party with your best friends & stuff yourself with heart-shaped chocolates, but I don’t think any of these options really deals with how we feel! It just keeps us from defenestration or drinking a bottle of red wine before passing out in the front of the television. For one night, anyway!
Distractions have their place but when they are never-ending, eventually they stop working…
As fun as it can be to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, go shopping or wear false eyelashes, life won’t really start to bloom until we’re comfortable with who we are. This is true every day, but becomes even poignant on Valentine’s Day, typically a celebration of someone else being in love with us.
So many of us are looking for someone else to fill a space, love & approve of us or take away our loneliness.
But whose love & approval is most important? Someone else’s? Or your own?
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love & affection than you are yourself, & that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.”
(Buddha)
It’s easy to forget. We get so caught up chasing boys or deliberately not responding to them (à la The Rules), working long hours & Tweeting frantically that we neglect ourselves. We spend so much money on cosmetics that we forget that our inside is what’s most important. We try so hard to snare the perfect lover when we should focus on simply being love.
We think that loving ourselves will just come later, naturally — & it may. But what if it doesn’t come along until you’re 50? Or 80? What if it never does? We think, “I’ll love myself when I have a baby”, or, “I’ll love myself when I get a better job”. But what about the meantime? Should you just suffer in silence until that mythical moment? What if having a baby or getting a promotion doesn’t make you love yourself?
That’s why I have decided to declare February the month of…
I say, it’s time to romance yourself. It’s time for the greatest love affair you will ever know. It’s time for a personal revolution. I say, you deserve to be your own darling! Get enchanted! Bewitch yourself! I say, if not now, when?
Let’s get busy adoring ourselves.
Once upon a time, I ran this thing called the iCiNG Transformation Challenge. The idea was to pick something you wanted to change, & then every day I sent out motivating tips, quotes & pictures via email. It was a huge success. I always remember one nonpareil writing to tell me that she used the power of the iTC to get off drugs. The reason these things work is because we are all in it together. We decide to jump in & support one another. We commit to moving forward positively, & we start walking in the same direction.
This time the task is more focused. Self-love is so important, & our lives really are vastly improved if we can just manage to love ourselves more.
It’s something we’re told to do all the time — love yourself, love yourself, love yourself — but how? Where are you supposed to begin? What tools do you need, if any? & how do you know if you’re on the right track?
I’m delighted to announce that from now until the 28th of the month, in addition to your regular content, I’ll be dishing out tips on how to really truly madly deeply fall in love with yourself! Topics will range far & wide. Girl love, body image, masturbation, jealousy, honoring & respecting yourself, positive self-talk, being assertive, manifesting your own dream girl persona & self-marriage are all up for grabs! Homework will be assigned (though it is totally optional, of course!), & I’ll be asking you to participate by sending in photos, stories & spreading the word!
I have a ton of goodies lined up already, but to make it totally useful & tailored to you, I want to know what you’d really love to hear about! What have you battled with most in your quest for radical self-love? Do you have trouble with your body image? Don’t know how to develop more confidence? Find it tricky to speak your mind? Whatever it is, let us know, & I’ll do my very best to create content around it!
If you want to take part, you can steal this HTML code & post it on your blog, Facebook page, etc.! It would be a good thing to post if you take any of the homework & do it on your own site! Plus it will help encourage your friends to take part!
It would be fantastic if you used #radicalselflove as a tag when you’re talking about the challenge on Twitter, too! That way we can all find each other…
You can find all the posts on this subject by clicking The Playgirl’s Guide To Radical Self-Love!
God, I’m so excited! I think this is going to be so amazing & I can’t wait to hear where you’re at & follow your progress throughout the month! Are you ready?! I am!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [245] Tags: how to,
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the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cherry On Top
[ 31 January 2010, 13:33 ]
A little inspiration for your Sunday… Especially for those of us with things to do around the house!
Photos of Kastyn Reid by Pamela Hanson for Vanity Fair.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [41] Tags: aesthetic,
cherry on top,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!50 Ways To Put The Light Back In Your Heart
[ 25 January 2010, 07:24 ]
I love that phrase — “putting the light back in your heart” — which was emailed to me by a nonpareil asking me how she could do just that. Her boyfriend recently broke her heart & so she is looking for ways to make herself feel better. I’m sure she’s not the only one who needs it, either! Whether you have the winter blues, are hard up for cash or just feel a little out of step with yourself at the moment, we could all use some ideas to cheer us up!
Why do we feel like this? Sometimes it’s because we’re too busy looking inward, & forget to think about the world around us. Other times it’s because we’re dwelling on what we wish we had, as opposed to appreciating the many things we do have. Sometimes it’s just a case of boredom & malaise, but whatever the source of our unhappiness, there are lots of ways we can fix it!
Here are some of my thoughts. I asked my nonpareils on Twitter about their favourite ways to get happy too, & mixed them all together. I’d love to hear what you have to add!
“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”
(Carlos Castaneda)
Write yourself a recipe for a perfect day, & then make it happen.
Sometimes you really need to take time for yourself, & when you do, it should be as good as you can make it. We all have different ideas of what constitutes the ideal day, but it might be something like… Watch the Virgin Suicides while eating strawberry pancakes; take a long bath & re-read your favourite book; lie on the floor & wriggle around; eat ice-cream in bed & watch reality television; talk to your best friend on the telephone; have a long, blissful sleep. Whatever it is, put aside some time & make it real.
Watch the Shiba Inu puppy cam.
Real, live puppies! Wriggling on webcam for your viewing pleasure! Surely an unbeatable combination. Nothing can be that bad when the world is so full of cute!
Call a friend & reminisce over the good old days.
There’s something wonderful about doing this. All the ridiculous happenings, strange people you’ve encountered over the years & inside jokes come spilling down the phone line, leaving you both laughing & breathless. As well as remembering the funniest bits of your past, it gives you a new appreciation of where you are today, & how far you’ve both come.
Have a snugglefest.
Anyone & anything is fair game, from cats & dogs to boyfriends, stuffed animals or cashmere throws. Just hunker down & get cozy! Stay warm & have a daydream.
Clean your room like a wild banshee — then sit down & admire your work.
Cleaning up or tidying with loud music playing is pretty fun (are my Virgo roots showing?!), but it’s even better to flop down on your bed, exhausted, & delight in how good everything looks.
Load up one of your favourite music videos on Youtube & then try to learn the choreography.
You’ll be passed out with delirious laughter before long, I swear!
Plan a holiday.
Even if your bank account wouldn’t even begin to cover a holiday right now, you can always plan one in your head! Think about where you’d like to go & what you’d like to do. Camelback riding across a majestic desert? A tour of all the waterparks in America? 5 blissed-out days lying on your back beside a huge turquoise swimming pool? Whatever floats your boat, do some research, & start to make it real — even if you won’t take the actual holiday for years.
Spend quality time with a puppy.
If you don’t have one, ask if you can go see a friend who has one. A few minutes of chasing each other around, playing tug-of-war with a chewed-up piece of rope & some vigorous tail-wagging will have you feeling like new in no time. Plus, they’re so adorable before they grow into their oversized feet!
Experience a sunset.
Don’t just glance at it from your window — really experience it! Sit on a balcony or rooftop, take a blanket & a hot drink if you need to, & watch the colours in the sky change as the sun disappears. It’s a beautiful show put on by the universe every night, it’s 100% free & even better, you are always invited!
Get dressed up & go out!
Call a friend & organise an outing. It doesn’t have to be anything grand (unless you want it to be!), but just getting out of the house will make you feel so much better. Wear bright pink lipstick to the movies or wear heels & eat hamburgers. It’s a great way to get out a puddle of stagnant energy.
Do yoga.
Even if you feel too exhausted to get through an entire session, just a few minutes will help bring you back to your centre & get you grounded again. If yoga isn’t your thing, try taking a few deep breaths. Concentrate on it as you do it. Go slowly. Breathe all the way into your stomach. Try to make the length of your inhale the same length as your exhale. As well as being a proven way to beat anxiety attacks, this is also a wonderful way to fall asleep if you’re having trouble — it works for me every time. You can read more about your best breath here.
Write.
It really is good for you, even if you don’t think you’re any good or don’t have any ideas. A great place to start is by writing, “Hi. I don’t really have anything to say.” Then just let yourself go. Allow yourself to vent, to dream, to be someone else. If you have a rad old typewriter, this is the perfect time to use it.
Go through your iTunes & organise the songs by the number of times played. Then listen to the songs you’ve never played before.
Every time I do this, I discover absolute gems. Right now, in fact, I’m listening to Knonam, who I had somehow never heard before, & it’s great! Alternatively, play all your favourite songs! Loud!
Eat chocolate.
...Because it’s proven to make you feel good. Especially the dark stuff.
Jump on a trampoline.
As well as being fun & boosting your energy, it also helps to increase the circulation of your lymph system, circulates more oxygen throughout your body, slows down aging, helps prevent cardiovascular disease & provides roughly a billion other amazing health benefits. It really does help to elevate a bad mood, too.
Sign up for OKCupid.
I have a soft spot for OKCupid, as it has given me hours of entertainment & is, in fact, how I met The Dish! You can take tests, find compatible matches & even meet people if you want to get reeeeeally wild! Ha!
Escape.
Get on your bicycle, grab the car-keys or catch a bus & go somewhere else. When you get there, spend some time walking around & looking at things. The travelling time will be good for your head, too. This is something Alain de Botton has written about — travelling helps to clear your head & reset your perspectives in a way nothing else can.
Swing.
There are few things I enjoy more than leaning back in a swing, kicking my legs up & flying back & forth!
Play dress-up.
Rummage through the back of your closet & see what wonderful things have been stuffed back there & forgotten. Put on a pair of heels & see what new outfits you can come up with. It is absolutely true that wearing an outfit you feel good in boosts your confidence & level of happiness!
Do something good for somebody else.
Help Haiti, give blood, volunteer at an animal shelter, deliver meals on wheels, help at a soup kitchen, donate old clothing, spend time at a women’s shelter, get involved in your community or even just help your parents out. It’s one of the absolute best ways to get your mind off your own problems & open you up to what is really going on in the world.
Spend time in a used bookstore.
One of my favourite places! There’s nothing better than walking out with a stack of great books for less than $10!
Remove negative influences — no matter how small.
Fire your negative friend or most annoying client. Stop reading the magazines which make you feel bad about yourself. Ban yourself from checking your ex-boyfriend’s blog. Block the phone number of the person who only ever calls you to complain. You cannot imagine how much better you’ll feel!
Draw moustaches on the faces in magazines!
Hahaha. Thanks @CaitHagar!
Buy something fabulous & cheap.
I recently bought a this Swarovski crystal ring for less than $10 from Eternal Sparkles on eBay — major bling for minor cash. It’s cute & it makes me smile. Sometimes, retail therapy really does work!
Pucker up!
Yes — kiss someone! Kissing causes the chemicals in your brain to change. It drops your levels of cortisol, which is a stress hormone, & increases the levels of oxytocin, which makes you feel good & gives you a feeling of connection.
Eat ice-cream & watch trashy television.
It sounds silly & overly simplistic but it really does work — at least for me! A tub of Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked & some rubbish lined up makes for a great mental holiday. My favourite trashy fare? Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, Girls Next Door, Sex & The City, Entourage, Secret Diary Of A Call Girl, Skins, Top Model, Greek, Daisy Of Love, The Rachel Zoe Project, Say Yes To The Dress or Buffy. Perfect.
Stay overnight at your best friend’s place.
How long has it been since you had a same-sex sleepover? Too long I bet. There’s nothing better than a night of conversation, laughter & silliness with someone you adore.
Make yourself a super-healthy meal.
The feeling of accomplishment & knowledge that you’ve done something good for yourself is an almost unbeatable combination!
Concoct a special hot chocolate.
Add cinnamon, whipped cream, nutmeg, chili powder, candy canes, marshmallow… Make something special & delicious. Even better, make a huge Thermos & take it to work or school to share!
Go skating.
Flying around a rink at high speed with blades or wheels strapped to your feet is so much fun… & a big bruise on your booty can only be seen as a badge of bravery (& testament to how much fun you had)!
Slice up your fashion magazines & make a style collage.
From a candy pink pair of stilettos to a girl sitting in a gilded birdcage, take your favourite looks & mash them all together. Pin it up next to your wardrobe as extra inspiration when you get dressed in the morning, & let it serve as a reminder to try new things!
Watch a documentary about someone incredible.
If Lagerfeld Confidential, I’m Going To Tell You A Secret, Valentino: The Last Emperor or This Is It don’t inspire you to live life to the fullest, take control of your future & start changing things, nothing will!
Go wig shopping.
Take a friend & rock that wig parlour! You’ll both emerge with smiles on your faces, & hopefully a Marie Antoinette-inspired coif in your shopping bag!
Have a raucous karaoke session.
Drag someone along with you, hire a private room, & have a sing-off! Also, ask if your favourite karaoke place has a happy hour. A lot of them have lunchtime specials to get the punters in when it’s usually quiet. One of the best ways to spend your lunchbreak, for sure.
Pay someone to touch you.
Sounds weird, I know! But what I’m actually talking about is getting a massage, reflexology or even a really good pedicure. Sometimes having someone else touch you & take care of you is just what you need.
Start a new project.
I don’t think I am the only person who really enjoys beginning a new project. Everything is so full of promise & you can take it in any direction you like. It’s all creativity & experimentation all the time. What could be better?!
Get organised for the next week.
Work out what needs to be done, & get a head-start. Do your grocery shopping & laundry, plan social engagements, work out what you’re going to have for lunch. When you feel on top of your daily life, you feel more in control of everything else.
Learn to do something you’ve always wanted to.
From whistling with two fingers to learning how to talk dirty to working out if you’re a shaman or not, you can learn anything you like! The internet is a treasure-trove of information just waiting to be discovered, so don’t be shy! Get researching!
Sing, loudly!
In public, out of tune, at the gym, wherever! If you feel like singing, you should just do it! Don’t be embarrassed & don’t allow the looks other people may shoot you stop you from doing what you want! I think singing in the morning should be an essential part of everyone’s day…
Garden.
As in, the verb. The doing word! Talk to your plants, water them, re-pot them. Buy a new one. Or even go to a park & lie down on the grass. Getting up close with flowers & plants makes people feel good, which is why gardening is such a popular hobby.
Go swimming.
Bonus points for skinny dipping or swimming in the grotto at the Playboy Mansion. (Have any of you ever done this?!)
Make something.
There’s something about making a tangible object that is so satisfying. I am convinced that just moving your hands & using your brain in a different way is extremely good for your mental health. Bedazzle your cellphone, knit a sparkly scarf or make a little monster for a friend! It will shift the way you think & make you smile.
Draw pictures of all your friends & then post them out.
Even if it doesn’t come out very well, your friend will still be completely delighted to receive it. Who doesn’t want a picture of themselves drawn by someone who loves them?!
Research & read about the life of someone who improved the world in some way.
You’ll find out that everyone goes through hardships at one point or another. Nobody’s life is perfect, & if it was, how bored would we all be?! People have been through much more horrific things than you will ever experience, & still managed to triumph. Never lose hope.
Print pictures of you & your best friends, & put them all over your house.
There’s nothing better than reflecting on good times & smiling at goofy photos.
Invite a friend over for dinner.
It doesn’t have to be fancy. Even if you only eat fish & chips while sitting on the floor together, it’s still good company, it’s still a shared experience, & it’s good for the soul.
Read the best of Craigslist.
No explanation required.
Write a list of all the good things in your life.
Usually when we feel bad, it’s because we’re thinking about the things we don’t have as opposed to the plethora of things we do have. If you have a computer & can read this, you are already so much better off than most people in this world. Recalling everything you have to be grateful for is a foolproof way of improving your mood… which is why I do it every Thursday!
Dye your hair!
“I don’t know how to tell you this… But your hair looks like an easter egg!” Put a semi-permanent colour through your tresses. It’s inexpensive & won’t last long, which makes it a super-fun & easy way to change your appearance — at least for now!
Watch travel documentaries.
This is one of my favourite things to do, especially when it’s a documentary about India! It’s so easy to forget that life outside our own neighbourhood can be so fabulously different. A good travel documentary will amaze you, surprise you & remind you that there is a whole world out there just aching to be explored by you.
What’s your #1 favourite foolproof way of making yourself feel better when nothing seems to be going right? Tell us!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [121] Tags: advice,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cherry On Top
[ 17 January 2010, 10:40 ]
So I have decided to kick off this new feature called Cherry On Top, which will happen on Sundays. (Get it? Sundaes? Hur hur!) It could be anything, a picture, a video, whatever, but usually it will be something that I think stands on its own & doesn’t require my commentary. I find so much rad stuff online that deserves to be shared! I don’t usually post on Sunday, so look at it like a fun bonus! Anyway, I hope you enjoy, & that this new feature inspires, excites, confuses, provokes conversation, amazes or bewilders you… Whatever you like! Here’s the first one…
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [57] Tags: aesthetic,
cherry on top,
inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!2010 Style Direction: Psychedelic Ladies Who Lunch
[ 12 January 2010, 10:09 ]
Tim Walker; photographer unknown.
The recipe: Glamour + psychedelia (of attire, not substances, my darling).
The essential components of the look include fur coats (preferably faux), fabulously ridiculous leg-wear (sparkly blue socks, tie-dyed stockings, cashmere tights), a multitude of completely over-the-top head-wear (sequinned ears, headbands adorned with bows & flowers, sparkly beanies), shoes which define excess (super-high heels; hidden platforms; covered in crystals), a-line skirts & magnificent 50’s dresses, pink lipstick (I like Givenchy Rouge Interdit Shine in Raspberry Shine & MAC Saint Germain), fingers loaded up with rings, wrists full of jangly, glitter-covered Indian bangles & super-long false eyelashes hidden by statement sunglasses…
Worn with individualised perfume combinations (honeysuckle + Bulgarian rose, birthday cake + champagne brut), multiple layers of mascara, strong eyebrows. Who is this girl? She carries a pack of tarot cards in her purse. She wears crystal points on necklaces. She loads up her pockets with sequins & individually-wrapped chocolates. Her nails are always holographic or covered in crystals. She takes long lunches. She wears vintage slips & overdyed cardigans with stilettos, doesn’t care if there’s a run in her stockings & sends love letters to her friends.
Lily Allen; photographer unknown.
She embraces her contradictions. She won’t be told what to do & she isn’t interested in petty trivia. She has a collection of easter egg-coloured tulle petticoats & grows peppermint-striped orchids. She is almost always overdressed but blissfully oblivious. She has an obsession with buying colourful & slightly ridiculous lingerie. She is superstitious. She carries a treasured pen (could be Mont Blanc, could be from a special hotel, could be stolen from a past lover). She makes a perfect gin & tonic.
Mega cloven hoof footwear, jewelled butterflies, bunny ears, sparkly metal-flake helmets, neon suspender belts, drawn on beauty marks, chromatic eye-shadow, tiny bells tied onto motorcycle boots, bright purple fingerless leather gloves, lipstick marks on Moroccan tea glasses...
Stacked crystal bracelets, totem animal jewellery, fairy lights everywhere, overdue library books, circlets & tiny braids, bright bouquets in old glass milk bottles, striped sweaters tucked into exaggerated a-line skirts, hot pink & turquoise cashmere blankets layered on an enormous bed…
She loves to laugh with her best friends over their blessings & mistakes. She doesn’t clean her apartment as often as she perhaps should. She holds hands with her friends & throws impromptu parties. She smiles at strangers & tips well. Her favourite cities are Reykjavik & Kolkata, & never stays in one place too long.
Disco Pocahontas. Feathers & crystals worn with sequins. Season of the witch. Super-feminine with a hint of hysteria. Neon pink love beams & sparkly sticky air-kisses.
...So that’s who & what I’m channeling this year, aesthetics-wise. As much as I love to wear black, I love sequins, sparkles & hypercolour far more! (Plus, most of the time, the inside of my head looks like this crossed with Yo Gabba Gabba!)
Who are your style icons? What is inspiring your style in two-thousand-&-amen (or two-thousand-&-zen, if you prefer)?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [87] Tags: aesthetic,
gala,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Getting Organised For 2010
[ 29 December 2009, 11:39 ]
It’s the last week of 2009! God, how exciting. I LOVE the prospect of a new year! Fresh starts, new goals, rejuvenated ambition & no idea what the future might hold — it doesn’t get any better than that!
We all have ideas (some vague, some concrete) about what we’d like to achieve in the next decade (!!!). I always think it’s important to start out as you mean to continue, so here are a few ideas for you to ruminate on as you get ready for 2010!
I want to… plan my life right down to the most minute detail!
I really do love a good Moleskine for daily organisation. I have been using them for years & there is something about the sexy, simple design, good quality paper & substantial hard cover which really appeals to me. I usually go with the Moleskine Daily Planner, which is wonderful — you get a full-sized page per day which is great for workaholics or organisational freaks like myself. But I decided 2010 needed a shake-up, & where better to start than with my day-planner? I bought a Colour A Month Daily Planner Box Set, which has been sitting on my desk & delighting me with its rainbonic (!!! or PRISMATIC!) visage! You still get a full page per day, just smaller, & I’m sure it will be just dandy for my purposes. I can’t wait to throw one of its colourful little books into my purse for mega-organisation on the go!
But this is not to say that a Moleskine is the only way to go, because it certainly isn’t. You might also like to try the Muji Chronotebook Non-Linear Day Planner (here is Lifehacker’s take on it), the 8 Days A Week planner (you can use the 8th day for things you’d like to schedule in, but are not sure when — v. clever!), the Daysteps planner (they seem to have thought of everything), the Multi-Task Notebook, a planner by Kate Spade or the Llewellyn’s 2010 Witches’ Datebook. The WeekDate planner looks really, truly incredible. You can even design your own planner with your own photos & pre-scheduled events at FranklinCovey. Amaze. So don’t give up or feel resigned to the ugly diary that your bank gave you, because there really is something for everyone!
Once you get your planner, use it! Keep it on your desk & open to the day’s date. Start making lists of things you want to do at night-time — for example, plan Monday on Sunday evening. If you do this, your brain will ruminate over the tasks while you’re sleeping, allowing your subconscious mind to come up with a plethora of solutions for the day ahead. Lovely!
Organize Now!: A Week By Week Guide To Simplify Your Space & Your Life might be a good purchase, too!
I want… a great wall calendar!
Me too! Yes, a good wall calendar should definitely be on your shopping list.
Okay, so if you have a daily planner, why do you need a wall calendar too? You don’t, but I like it that way. I love to be able to see my month at a glance: that way I always know where I need to be & what I need to prepare for. It also gives me a sense of accomplishment as I see what I’ve achieved as the days tick over!
The difference between the calendar & my planner is that my calendar is strictly for things I need to leave the house for. My planner is more of a daily to do list.
It’s a fab time to buy a calendar. In most bookstores they are 50% off, because it’s after Christmas, & it is beyond wonderful to have it hanging on the 1st of January! It always feels a bit wasteful to buy one in March.
My 2009 calendar was a Tim Walker one & I cherished it. Sadly there is not a 2010 one, so I have been on the hunt for a suitable replacement. Here are some you might like.
Check out The Wizard of Oz, A Year In Yes (I have this & it is so cute, with spaces for making sweet little lists etc. etc.!), Walt Disney World (pictures of the park, YAY!), Magic Places, Hindu Gods & Goddesses, Llewellyn’s Astrological, Holly Madison (I kind of love her), Celebrations, Gods of the Bazaar, World of Faeries, Alex Grey, Tokidoki & Hello Kitty. This reversible calendar is very chic & clean. The Women of India calendar is super-colourful & An Ideal World features Indian educational charts from the 1950s. Love it. If you’d prefer to choose your own images, you can make your own calendar by connecting your Flickr account to Snapfish. Genius!
If none of these grab you, or you’d prefer not to put something on the wall, you can always buy a calendar tin!
I want to… sort out my desk!
Me TOO! We have so much in common! Well, you definitely need to begin with a good pen. What else are you going to write all your grand plans of world domination with?! The Yoropen is “the most comfortable pen in the world” & looks super-rad. You could always buy a 10-pack of Gelly Roll pens to make your to do lists more exciting, even glittery. Everyone needs a good Sharpie, especially for addressing packages (mine is magenta). I find it hard to resist scented pencils too!
...& why not keep your favourite pen in a happy Buddha pen holder? I ask you! Why not indeed!
If you have a landline — & I don’t know anyone who does anymore, but still — this phone should be essential.
Bone- & heart-shaped paper clips belong on your desk, most definitely.
As far as resources for making your life more productive or wonderful, start with Never Check E-Mail In the Morning: & Other Unexpected Strategies for Making Your Work Life Work, Crush It!: Why NOW Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion (Gary Vee! !) & The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year.
I want to… get a better, more satisfying job!
This could be a whole book on its own, but if you’re feeling stuck or unmotivated in your job, it might be time to look for something else.
Keep in mind the following points.
It’s a cliché but it’s true — dress for the role you want, not the role you have.
Expand your networking skills. Never Eat Alone: & Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time is an excellent, excellent place to begin. It’s totally true that when it comes to getting work, more often than not, it’s who you know & not what you know.
Be aware that higher-level positions usually get about one-fifth the number of applicants that a lower-level position does. Most people aim low. Hilariously, if you apply for a more prestigious role, your odds of getting it are actually better than if you go for the job which pays less! Plus, you never know. I have told this story a zillion times, so feel free to tune out if you’ve heard it before, but I got a job as a book buyer for a university bookstore when I was 18 years old because a) applicants were few & far between & b) their first choice turned it down because they wanted more pay. It was a great job, too — sitting in a café all day, talking books with reps from various companies? Brill.
Give some thought to what you’d really like to do, & try not to be too “practical” about it. If you want to do satisfying, fulfilling work, you need to listen to your heart, not your head. Additionally, if you keep going for the same sort of job, you’re going to get the same kind of result.
I want… to get fit & healthy!
Take advantage of the post-Christmas sales, but not the ones on big boxes of Ferrero Rocher chocolates! Think about gyms, health clubs, dance classes, etc. — after Christmas, everyone wants to work off a bit of the turkey, mashed potatoes, gargantuan pieces of fruit cake et al from the season of glut. All businesses in the health & wellness sector know this, & you better believe they want your dosh!
So do some shopping around. See what the deals are. Get a few tours. Grab some day passes if you can. Do some research. (Plug “gym or company name” + “review” + “your city” into Google & get cracking!) Purchase wisely, though! If you’re buying from a gym, these memberships often last two years, & while $x may not sound a lot, multiply it by 24 & you may feel quite differently.
Don’t be afraid to drive a hard bargain, either. Tell your membership advisor that you’re shopping around, & see what else they can offer you. If they can throw in some free personal training sessions, so much the better. In fact, the personal training route is a great way to go because the right trainer can give you a mission, encourage you & motivate you — three things you can start to lose sight of if you’re just slogging away under your own steam.
All gyms have their advantages & disadvantages. What is it that you really need from a gym? Good yoga classes? Women only? Personal trainers? A spa? Work out your criteria & then purchase a membership accordingly.
If you’re not of the gym predilection, plot an exercise schedule which suits your lifestyle & STICK TO IT! Self-discipline is key if you want to see results.
As in all areas of life, in order to really achieve something, you need to set a goal that pertains to it. So set health & fitness goals which inspire you, & then get busy!
I want… to eat better!
It’s best to deduce what “eating better” means to you. Less meat? More vegetables? No meat at all? No fried food? All home cooking? More regular meals? Less snacking? Macrobiotic? Vegetarian? Vegan? Raw? Organic? Once you know your definition of healthy eating, you’ll know which direction to head in.
Get some books & do some research, see what you can find online, visit a nutritionist or buy some kitchen equipment that will make your journey easier. Go food shopping, & remove the foods you’re trying to avoid from your kitchen. Make an eating plan & then make sure you have what you need every day so you can keep to it. Half the battle, truly, is just in being organised.
If you want to start with a hiss & a roar, you might like to try something to clear you out. I am going to do a juice fast in January through Blueprint Cleanse. You can do it without supervision or hand-holding, but because I have never done it before & I am a wuss, I’m doing it through them! If it’s something you’re interested in too, you can read an FAQ here.
I want to… move forward & put the past behind me!
Start by cutting loose the negative people in your life. Work out if you’re in a destructive relationship. Set goals for 2010 which wow & inspire you. Improve your home with a dash of feng shui. Come up with some affirmations of what you want for 2010, & recite them every morning & every night. Remember to count your blessings & practice gratitude every day (not just Thursday!). Breathe. Be good to yourself.
I want… to achieve HEAPS!
This is something I did on Saturday evening with a friend of mine. We weren’t planning it, it just happened. After shopping, we crossed the road & sat in a diner. We sipped milkshakes & were talking when I said to her, “What do you want to achieve next year?” We started discussing our goals. She even pulled out her notebook & read me the list of things she wanted to do. As we talked about our plans, we came up with ways we could combine them, or help one another, or people we could introduce the other to who could assist them. We encouraged one another & talked about how great it would be to do this or that or the other thing. It was really fantastic. I would recommend doing this with a friend, lover or family member — anyone who you know will be supportive (very important). If they’re just going to try & talk you out of it, you’re wasting your time. Don’t spend time with dreamkillers!
If you are going to do this, I would recommend doing it when you have no time constraints, & also I would suggest that you phrase everything as if it is already happening. So, instead of saying, “I want to get fit & healthy”, you can say, “I am getting more fit & healthy every day”. Bring it into the present. If you are always phrasing things out in the future, they remain there: in the future, distant, just out of grasp. Pull them to you with your words.
The reasons for sharing your goals are multiple, but one of the best is that it will give you a jolt & make you accountable. Before you said anything out loud, it was just an idea floating around in your head. But now your friend knows about it, & can check on your progress, help you if you want them to, & encourage it to blossom into the real world.
“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.” — Yoko Ono
What do you want to do, manifest, achieve in 2010? Where do you want to go? What does your dream year look like?
Here’s to the start of a beautiful decade!
P.S. It’s Mercury retrograde which is a little daunting but means it is the perfect time to look back & reflect before launching into the new year. You will get the best results in 2010 if you take a moment to review 2009! There is a FABULOUS Cancerian new moon eclipse on January 15th, which is the best time to start fresh & go wild, so start psyching yourself up for it now!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [80] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
life,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Always Be Glamorous
[ 20 December 2009, 19:02 ]
Always be glamorous.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [27] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Your Fortune
[ 13 December 2009, 11:44 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [19] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!John Lennon
[ 8 December 2009, 11:40 ]
John Lennon was an incredible musician, writer & peace activist who is most well-known for his work with The Beatles.
Today marks 29 years since the day John Lennon was shot & killed outside his apartment in Manhattan. He had signed a copy of his latest album for his killer just a few hours beforehand. Years earlier, when asked in an interview how he thought he might die, he said, “I’ll probably be popped off by some loony.”
“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it & leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it & nurture it.”
As a child, his aunt bought him a guitar even though she had her doubts about his claims that he would be famous one day. She said, “The guitar’s all very well, John, but you’ll never make a living out of it.”
When The Beatles were just starting out, they played a 48-night tour of Germany’s strip clubs. After they employed Brian Epstein as their manager, he told them they could be really big but that they would have to stop swearing, smoking & eating chicken on stage. He also wanted to put them in suits. Lennon initially resisted but eventually relented, saying, “I’ll wear a bloody balloon if somebody’s going to pay me”.
Their popularity grew, & Beatlemania took hold of the United Kingdom, with police officers regularly using high-pressure fire hoses to control crowds of screaming fans.
“You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”
In August of 1964, The Beatles were introduced to marijuana by Bob Dylan in their hotel room in New York City, & a year later, Lennon & George Harrison were at dinner with their dentist when he spiked their coffees with LSD. The two experimented with it afterwards, with Ringo Starr & Paul McCartney joining them later. Lennon wrote “I Am The Walrus” while under the influence.
Lennon & McCartney were a legendary writing team. They usually wrote songs in hotel rooms after concerts or at one another’s homes. It took them about one or two hours to complete each one.
He caused controversy in the United States when he said, “Christianity will go. It will vanish & shrink… We’re more popular than Jesus now — I don’t know which will go first, rock & roll or Christianity.” The uproar was huge, with burnings of Beatles records & threats against Lennon’s life, & the band decided to stop touring.
Shortly afterward, he met Yoko Ono. He regarded her as a “magical being”, & said that he had never considered his chauvinistic attitudes towards women until he met her.
“You’re just left with yourself all the time, whatever you do anyway. You’ve got to get down to your own God in your own temple. It’s all down to you, mate.”
Today is also 40 years to the day since John Lennon & Yoko Ono launched their WAR IS OVER campaign. They had posters designed & posted across the world in major cities like New York, London, Tokyo, & Paris.
In a statement, he said, “This is part of our peace campaign. Our theme is that people have the power to stop things they don’t like, & wars must be the first thing.”
“If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.”
Ways to celebrate John Lennon’s life:
Wear green (his favourite colour).
Listen to Double Fantasy, which was released only a month before he died. It won the Grammy Award for Album of the Year & is a goodie!
Download a WAR IS OVER poster in your language & set it as your desktop, photocopy it & staple it to lamp posts, stick a copy to the fridge, print it on a t-shirt, use it as your mantra, etc.
Queue up every single Beatles song you have & listen to them all day.
Eat a big bowl of cornflakes (his favourite food).
If you’re in New York City, go to the Strawberry Fields memorial in Central Park. People gather there every day on this year to sing songs & remember his life.
Hire Yellow Submarine & A Hard Day’s Night & watch them from your bed.
Play The Beatles RockBand with your best friends.
Think about how you can bring more peace & love into your life & the lives of others.
Follow Yoko Ono on Twitter.
Read memories of John, with letters, photos, postcards & more.
Look at the Imagine Peace Tower live from Reykjavik on webcam.
Spend time on (or around) a boat. Lennon’s song-writing muse came back while he sailed to Bermuda in 1980.
Watch WAR IS OVER! (below)
John Lennon didn’t invent rock & roll, nor did he embody it as toweringly as figures like Elvis Presley & Little Richard, but he did more than anyone else to shake it up, move it forward & instill it with a conscience. As the most daring & outspoken of the four Beatles, he helped shape the agenda of the Sixties – socially & politically, no less than musically. As a solo artist, he made music that alternately disturbed & soothed, provoked & sought community. As a human being, he served as an exemplar of honesty in his art & life. As Jann Wenner wrote in the foreword to a collection of writings entitled The Ballad of John & Yoko, “Of the many things that will be long remembered about John Lennon – his genius as a musician & singer, his wit & literary swiftness, his social intuition & leadership – among the most haunting was the stark, unembarrassed commitment of his life, his work & his undernourished frame to truth, to peace & to humanity.” (Source)
A BBC poll ranked Lennon as the eighth greatest Briton of all time, & Rolling Stone magazine declared him the fifth greatest singer ever.
“Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, & the stars, & the sun.”
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [42] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips: 7th December 2009
[ 7 December 2009, 21:19 ]
Monday 7th December
Have a bed party as soon as you can! I am having one right now, & have been having one all day! Just me, Hank Williams, my brand new MacBook Pro (!!!) & a mug full of magical potion. It’s just what a dreary Monday demanded!
Tuesday 8th December
Celebrate Rohatsu, aka Bodhi Day (成道会), which is when Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha!) reached a higher consciousness over 2000 years ago. If meditation is something you already do, have an extra-long meditation session or commit to doing it more regularly. If you’ve never tried it or only dabbled, you could even decide that today is the day you’re going to start. Have a look at Tina Su’s tips on how to begin.
Wednesday 9th December
Pick one book you’ve been meaning to read for ages — something that’s a bit overwhelming — & devote yourself to completing it this summer or winter. Nothing is better on a beach than a good book, & reading is one of the best ever cold weather activities!
Thursday 10th December
Have a Japanese feast! Invite a friend over to make sushi if you’re so inclined, or if you tend to be more disaster & less DIY when it comes to the kitchen, order from your favourite Japanese restaurant. Eat cross-legged on the floor while watching a great movie. Battle Royale, Ichi the Killer or Kamikaze Girls are all excellent choices!
Friday 11th December
Think about a class you’d like to take next year. It could be anything, from life drawing to homeopathy to gourmet cooking classes. (I am going to take a creative writing course & a jewellery-making course for starters! Maybe also another make-up artistry course & I have been saying this forever but I am dying to start French lessons again!) Start doing some research, see when they start & when you need to enroll. Then either put your name down or start putting money away!
Saturday 12th December
Work out a way to experience the opposite temperature of the place you’re in now. If you’re in chilly climes, spend some time in a sauna, swim in a heated pool, or just lie in bed with your electric blanket on & an MP3 of crashing waves on loop. If it’s sweltering hot where you are, find a walk-in freezer, fill your bathtub with bags of ice or watch some snow fall while drinking (frozen?!) lemon & honey!
Sunday 13th December
Switch up your inspiration. Surely you’ve had the same pictures hanging up in your apartment for too long! Do you even notice them any more? Move them around, find some new ones, or take them all down completely & start fresh!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [37] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Everything Is Going To Be Alright
[ 7 December 2009, 10:56 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [50] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Quotables: Jon Krakauer
[ 30 November 2009, 11:02 ]
“Make a radical change in your lifestyle & begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances & yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, & conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, & hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new & different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security & adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning & its incredible beauty.” — Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [47] Tags: inspiration,
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quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Over-The-Knee Boots: How To Do It
[ 24 November 2009, 15:57 ]
Left: Pretty Woman. Right: Hussein Chalayan.
Over-the-knee boots are constantly going in & out of fashion, & have done since the time of pirates. Yarrr! They were daily-wear for pirates, who often turned the cuffs down, as well as crazy adventurers & buccaneers, who wore them as protection while they were riding & often hid things inside them. Like a treasure chest for the leg, to be sure, to be sure, yarrr! YARRR! Women started wearing them in secret too, because they wanted in on the fun, & would hide them under their long skirts.
The style comes & goes, & in the last couple of years, they have drifted back into style again. We’ve noticed them on the likes of Carine Roitfield & Victoria Beckham, & designers, who have the beadiest eyes of all, have not missed this. Now practically every shoe store has a pair in their front window, & we start to think, ‘Hmmm, I wonder how that would look on me’. But just putting them on takes stacks of confidence, & then, you think, as you stare at yourself in the mirror (& everyone in the shop gawps at you), ‘What the hell would I even wear these with, anyway?’.
My darling, I am here to help. Here is my guide to rocking the most fabulous trend of the season.
Questions for the quivery-kneed.
Can I really pull this off?
Remember that the over-the-knee boot is a STATEMENT. What the statement is, exactly, is up to you, but it is probably more along the lines of, “I am a powerful bellatrix & I am not to be trifled with” than “Here is your library card & a photocopied hand-out of the Dewey Decimal System”. Knawmean? This is not a shoe for the shrinking violet. If your legs are your least favourite attribute, or if cannot handle oodles of attention from men on the street (because believe me, you’ll get it), you should not purchase a pair. Stick to your Hush Puppies or whatever. But if you’re up for a challenge, & if you want to throw down the delicious, fetishy gauntlet, then these are for you.
I don’t really think my thighs are my best feature. Should I go for it anyway?
It all depends on how self-conscious you are. If a stranger’s swiftest glance at your gams sends you into a hyperventilating panic, perhaps you should give this one a miss. All is not lost, though — over-the-knee boots look best when worn with black opaque stockings, so it’s not like you’re really showing them off all that much. Super-secret-hint: ribbed stockings (where the lines run vertically up your leg) will give you a slimmed-down, long & lean-looking thigh without the hassle of going to the gym or giving up eating fried chicken sandwiches every second night!
Top: Chloe, Giuseppe Zanotti, Jimmy Choo, Versace, Michael Kors.
Bottom: Gucci, Stella McCartney, Kelsi Dagger, Halston, Prada, Juicy Couture.
Okay, I want to go for it. Should I buy a flat boot or one with a heel?
It really depends on what you’re most comfortable in & what you think you’ll get the most wear out of. I feel that a heel is always more flattering, especially when it comes to something like a high boot which can sometimes make even the leggiest lass look a bit… well… stumpy. But if you loathe wearing heels & wobble violently whenever you even think about a pair, flat boots are probably more your speed.
How high should the boot go?
I think a few centimetres over the knee is best. True thigh-high boots don’t give you a lot of room left over, & can look more like waders than sexy boots. But you know your style best. Try on a few different boots to find out what is most flattering for your body.
Should I go for leather or synthetic?
Leather boots are certainly more expensive, but if it’s in your budget (& fits with your morals), leather is the way to go. Why? Synthetic leather doesn’t breathe, it doesn’t sit as well against the skin (it can look kind of wrinkly & naff), & it’s less durable. Sometimes the colour will rub off or it will crack or split. It also looks cheaper, & because this is a look that can go wrong very easily, looking cheap is to be avoided!
This is not to say you cannot go synthetic; of course, you can. Just make sure you buy the best ones you find. It is worth shopping around (though really, this is true for everything).
If you decide to go for leather, here is a note about suede, because there are a lot of very attractive suede over-the-knee boots on the market. As beautiful as it is, & as wonderfully cosy as leather boots are in the winter, you need to be careful wearing suede boots in the rain. The occasional sprinkle of rain won’t ruin them (just be sure to put trees in them & let them dry out when you get home), but if they get soaked, you’ll be a very sad bunny. The dye in suede also runs like MAD when it gets wet, & it stains. You can Scotchgard your suede boots to protect them from the weather but still, use your common sense. While you are wearing them, don’t wash the car, drink too many cocktails beside a swimming pool, run a marathon during a tropical storm, etc.
PVC & patent leather boots should be avoided too, unless you are really, really, really sure you can pull it off. See: Pretty Woman.
Ugh, I tried on a pair & they don’t stay up when I walk around!
If they don’t stay up, don’t buy them! Realise that they may not be the right boots for you & continue with your search. Constantly tugging on the top of them will drive you bonkers, & if this is the case, know that there is no guaranteed way to keep them up. Liberal applications of Hollywood (or double-sided) tape will do the trick for a while, but even this is not a pinky-swear promise. Sometimes it won’t work. If the top of the boot is super-thin, you can attach suspender belt straps to them, but make sure the belt fits or your boots will just drag that down too! You see where I am going with this: ill-fitting over-the-knee boots will just create more problems than they are worth. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing properly. Don’t half-ass this one.
As well as making sure they stay up, they should also fit your thigh properly. Think snug, but not so tight your thighs go all bulgy like an unfortunate shibari incident. If you’re swimming in them, it will either a) ruin the proportions you’re trying to go for, or b) make you look like a pirate. I know, I know, yarrrrrrrr, the history & all is cool, but is Anne Bonny really your style icon?
Okay, I bought some! Now, what do I wear with these suckers?
The truth is that the first image that comes to mind for pretty much everyone is Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, & as charming as she was, she is not the woman we’re hoping to emulate. The best way to avoid looking like you are a woman of the night is to go for contrast (otherwise known as not being too obvious) & not show everything off at once. Over-the-knee boots are all about legs, which means your outfit shouldn’t also be geared to showing off your midriff or cleavage. (This is a pretty basic rule of dressing — you don’t show everything at once, unless you are stuck in Las Vegas & have to turn tricks to get home again.)
Remember that when you put an outfit together, your shoes only convey part of the message — so what you wear them with counts.
Think about proportions. Your boots are long & fitted, so go bigger on top. How would it look if you added a slouchy sweater or a big coat cinched in at the waist? What about a long t-shirt or a radically cut a-line skirt? You could wear them over skinny jeans with an enormous scarf & a leather jacket, with an oversized cardigan or a jacket with structured shoulders.
You also don’t have to show the entire boot to make the most of them. If you think of them more as leggings or stockings, that can free you up hugely in terms of what you team with them. You could wear them with a 40’s style dress, a pencil skirt or a huge tulle petticoat to wonderful effect.
One of the easiest ways to make an outfit visually interesting is to play with proportions & put unexpected things together. Big with small, tough with luxe, vintage with new. Mix it up & see what you can come up with.
Here are some more ideas!
Zara.
The styling of these two images is delicious. It’s all about proportions. The look with the leather jacket is total perfection from start to finish. She’s wearing her boots over black skinny jeans & under an oversized white shirt, which is capped off with a short leather jacket. The jacket gives the outfit its shape, while the white shirt prevents it from looking too severe. Bravo.
The picture of the girl in the (faux?) fur jacket, cinched with a belt, & worn with black over-the-knee boots is just too yummy for me to even pontificate over. If I owned all the components of that outfit, you would be hard pressed to get me to wear anything else. Ever.
In my opinion, what saves these three looks from being trashy is that you’re not even really aware that the models are wearing over-the-knee boots. It’s like a fantastic leathery secret. They just look like they’re wearing fabulous stockings or skinny leather trousers. There is no flash of pale or mottled thigh & not a hint of fishnet. They look powerful, sexy & put-together.
The Hussein Chalayan look is from Fall 2006, & is a total winner. You could wear this outfit to work, after-work drinks, or even on a date with a bit of dazzling jewellery. It’s perfectly understated & just a little bit intimidating all at the same time.
I LOVE how Alice Burdeu (Australia’s Next Top Model winner!) looks in McQueen — totally makes me think of a headmistress at a strict-but-sexy (hey, it’s my imagination) Edwardian orphanage. So good. “No, Oliver! You may NOT have some more!”
I can’t say anything about the Givenchy look because I just drowned in my own drool. Sorry.
Flair Italia October 2009.
This is perhaps not a look to emulate, but I had to include it just because it’s quite brilliant. It might be a good one for the bedroom, though.
Carine (Editor-In-Chief of French Vogue) shows how it’s done. The sleek silhouette of the boots perfectly off-sets the size of the coat. Her outfit is so simple but it is completely genius — there are so few parts to it, but it works seamlessly & wonderfully. She could be wearing anything under that coat — a Garfield sweatshirt, a pair of sequinned hot pants, a bikini emblazoned with the American flag — but it doesn’t matter because the few pieces we can see are A++. & seriously, look at those boots. Oh, Margiela, you did us proud.
So, what do you think of the over-the-knee boot? Is it something you think you could see yourself wearing? I am totally mad about them, & have been schlepping from store to store trying to find The Perfect Pair. When I do, I’ll be sure to let you know.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [58] Tags: aesthetic,
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madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Lovely Lavender Ladies
[ 17 November 2009, 10:59 ]
I love lavender. When I was about 4, my parents let me choose what colour I wanted my room to be. I AGONISED over two shades of purple, finally picked one & never looked back. Later, when I was 13, it was time to paint my bedroom again — in a new house this time. Again, I went for lavender. It is, obviously, my favourite colour for a bedroom. In fact, I have only ever had a white or lavender bedroom… & I like it that way.
Why the trip down memory lane? Lavender is going to be big-big-big in the fashion stakes in 2010. The delicate hue was omnipresent on the runway this year, in practically every incarnation possible, from angelic ruffles that bordered on the insane at Viktor + Rolf to floral slips & icy eye-shadow at Dior.
...& the shoes, oh the shoes. I’m so glad platforms have not yet been pushed from their perilous pedestal!
So the lavender craze is great news for people like me, who just cannot get enough. It’s such a lovely shade of purple but please note that it can be hard for some people to pull off. It all depends on the shade, but the paler ones in particular can make a lot of us look like we’re battling to stay alive. If pastels don’t suit you, go a bit brighter. Try violet, or team your lavender pieces with black for contrast.
Again, you can really wear any colour, but if it’s not quite the right shade for you, just don’t wear it next to your face! Lavender leggings (like these from We Love Colors), a pair of gloves or a bottle of nailpolish are an easy & inexpensive way to get in on the fun. Here are some other ideas for those of us who are probably not going to be rocking the latest Burberry Prorsum ensemble any time soon…
(I am absolutely in love with that purple satchel from Cambridge Satchel Company — expect to see me frolicking around with one very soon!)
How else can you bring a little lilac into your life? Try wearing purple with grey, white, yellow or blue. Start using a periwinkle highlighter on your to do list. Let plum-coloured socks peek from above the top of your ankle boots. Wear MAC Cosmetics’ Violet Trance eye-shadow. Drink parfait amour over ice — it is vivid purple, tastes like roses, vanilla & almonds & is my favourite drink bar none. Sign documents in violet ink. Dye your hair with Special Effects in Wildflower (!!!). Wear a big, sparkly purple heart necklace. Paint your nails with OPI DS Mystery. Don a grape Ring Pop. Wrap all your gifts with layer upon layer of violet & lavender tissue paper (& lots of silver stars). Buy a purple collar for your cat or dog. Make a miniature altar to Willy Wonka. Listen to Prince all the time. Buy lavender bed linen.
If you need a little more inspiration, commit this poem to memory. Then go forth & purple!
Warning by Jenny JosephWhen I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.But now we must have clothes
that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [59] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Latest ChinaShop Pieces
[ 14 November 2009, 16:42 ]
Hopeless Hotel
Hopeless Hotel is my new favourite lingerie line. Based in Melbourne, Australia, this is a one woman show. Owned, operated & lovingly hand-stitched by Gabrielle Adamidis, her vintage-inspired delicates are in a league all of their own.
With her latest range inspired by Jaws, this is one unconventional place to look to for your skimpy but fabulous underthings. She says, “I love basing my collections around a film… But instead of the obvious things I like looking further into screenshots, like the shape of the shark’s teeth & gums, the shape of the old boat, the swell of the ocean, & then translating that into shapes for the underwear.” Any cinephile will be delighted to hear that she has tabs on basing future ranges around Revenge of the Nerds, Singin’ in the Rain, Jurassic Park, The Graduate, Heavy Metal Parking Lot, & anything featuring Vincent Price!...
Rethinking Outerwear
Revise… hats. They have a new shape & beautiful peaks to propel us forward into the future. It’s not all shapeless beanies & loose-fitting snoods any more! Equestrian helmets, bowlers, cloches, turbans & ushankas can all be snapped up for a pittance & worn to great effect. They’re wonderful for disguising a bad hair day, & somehow able to miraculously garner attention while at the same time diverting it away from your rain-soaked visage. Don’t be afraid of this fabulous accessory…
Jimmy Choo & Sonia Rykiel for H&M
Designer collaborations with retail giants like Target, The Gap & H&M seem to be a dime a dozen these days. Kate Moss works with TopShop, Rodarte teamed up with Target & even Alexander McQueen has released capsule collections so that people who aren’t on the very top of the fashion pile can get in on the fun.
What’s the value of these deals? It’s really all about economics. Of course — like there was ever any doubt! The appeal of the designer label brings a new type of customer to the mass-market retailer, while women who don’t read Vogue are given more exposure to the high-end label in question. There’s definite hype factor, too: the idea that those of us on a modest budget can suddenly own something by one of our most desired labels sends the internet all a-flutter.
But is it really worth it?...
The WORLD Brought To You By New Zealand
Known for their distinctive & bold use of color, wild silhouettes & a radical, subversive sense of humor, WORLD are one of New Zealand’s most fantastic exports. Founded by Denise L’Estrange-Corbet & Francis Hooper in 1989, they say that “the initial idea for WORLD was hatched at a bus stop late one night”...
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [21] Tags: aesthetic,
gala,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips: 9th November 2009
[ 9 November 2009, 11:35 ]
Monday 9th November
Decide to devote your week to romance of all forms. Love for other people, for your home, & most importantly, for yourself. Draw a big heart on a Post-It note & put it somewhere prominent so that no matter what happens, you remember to respond with love all week long.
Tuesday 10th November
Splurge on a really beautiful book of photography to inspire you in your love-fest! Use the pictures as fuel to bring more beauty into your life. (My pick? Romance by Chris Craymer. It arrived this morning & I am totally smitten. Very fitting for a book of this nature!)
Wednesday 11th November
Kiss a postcard & send it anonymously to someone you’ve almost forgotten — but not quite. (Spray your kiss-mark with hairspray so it doesn’t get smudged.) By the way, if you’re in New York City & so inclined, you could send one to the troops for New Year’s Eve, but even if you’re not, you can still participate!
Thursday 12th November
Plan a love picnic! It can take place anywhere (in a park, in your bed), just be sure to invite someone that makes you feel a bit swoony. Make sandwiches, don’t forget the cupcakes, & put together a good playlist, too. P.S. Here are some tips on how to have a great picnic.
Friday 13th November
Black Friday! Definitely the best opportunity to do something spooky if your hallowe’en was a non-event (comme moi)! How can you combine spookiness with love most effectively? Simple! Watch The Addams Family. Morticia + Gomez forever! Or maybe you could cast a love spell with Dame Darcy?! If you have paraskevidekatriaphobia, though, perhaps you should just stay under the covers with a good book.
Saturday 14th November
Make or buy gifts for the people closest to you. They don’t have to be big or expensive; in fact, they don’t have to cost anything at all. You can make a necklace for your friend using charms & ribbon, or write a story for your boyfriend using a typewriter you found stashed in the attic. Alternatively, you can go out & buy everyone glittering baubles!
Sunday 15th November
Write a list of 20 ways you can show people you love them (preferably in ways you haven’t shown them before). Then decide to do every single one before December 1st.
“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell &, giving out nothing, receive nothing & therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [38] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Latest ChinaShop Pieces
[ 8 November 2009, 10:54 ]
Scents & Sensibilities
Every year, Perfumer & Flavorist magazine announces the top 10 fragrance profiles for the coming year — no easy task, given that there were over 600 fragrances released in 2008! In 2009, they predicted a surge in perfumes that had notes of lime, milk or cream, deep amber, citrus aromatics, oriental florals, florals with fruit & florals with wood, orange flower or rose violet. While the craze for perfume with woodsy undertones or fragrances which smell like milkshakes (yes, really!) will continue into 2010, there are some new aromas on the horizon too. What can you expect to sniff next year?...
Fashion Round-Up 2009
While fashion used to trickle down direct from the runway, the proliferation of fashion blogs, street style photographers & the uprising of bloggers-as-celebrities has caused a turning of the tide. This has never been as apparent as it was this year. Mixing it all together has become even more marked as models’ off-duty wear makes them fashion icons — their often-imitated mix of haute couture & streetwear gives everyone new ideas as to how to rework their closet…
Thankfully, ironic fashion seems to be dying out. There are only so many hipsters-dressed-badly-but-deadpanning-it one can take before one starts to foam at the mouth…
Rodarte in Target
Rodarte is a relative newcover to the fashion world, but one that has made a huge impression. After their debut in 2005, Kate & Laura Mulleavy, the two sisters behind the line, landed a Women’s Wear Daily cover as well as a meeting with Vogue editrix Anna Wintour. They won the CFDA Womenswear Designer of the Year award in June, & the CFDA Swarovski Award for Womenswear last year. Rodarte is known for its ethereality, sublimely sophisticated palettes & uber-embellishments — which is why so many people were surprised to hear that they had inked a deal to design a capsule collection for Target’s Go International…
Forte Fashion Show
Of course, as is often the way at events like these, especially in New York, the people attending were just as interesting than what came stalking down the runway. In the front row, I sat beside a jewelery designer who rubbed up against my faux fur coat sensuously for the duration of the show, & later asked me to show her my thighs before practically mounting me on the sidewalk…
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [11] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Love & Sequins #6 Is Live!
[ 30 October 2009, 17:52 ]
Hooray! Today I sealed my latest Love & Sequins chapter with a kiss & sent it off around the globe!
For those of you who don’t know, or are new (welcome!), Love & Sequins is my monthly podcast series. It’s a book which is all about becoming a love letter to the universe, & you get a chapter sent to your inbox every month! As well as the text (which is at least 10,000 words each time), you also get an MP3 of me reading it aloud to you!
Love & Sequins #6 is called DAINTIER, SMARTER, BETTER DRESSED — A deluxe guide to looking truly fabulous, defining your personal style & being the best-dressed girl at any party!
This is the biggest chapter so far — I actually found it really hard to stop myself writing! (I still have so much I want to say, & think Chapter 7 will be a continuation of this subject.) Love & Sequins #6 weighs in at a MAJOR 20,630 words! It is a veritable style & aesthetic bonanza, loaded with pictures & more ideas than you can shake a stick at. It is super-delicious & a feast for the brain!
Oh, & did I mention that the MP3 runs for an hour & a half?!
It is absolutely perfect for anyone going through a wardrobe crisis, wanting to wear more colour, in the throes of concocting a new style direction or just wanting to get to grips with their aesthetic! You’ll learn how to construct your very own style bible, where to find inspiration & what to do with it once you have it, the story of my personal aesthetic evolution & how to put looks together for maximum impact!
I also included (& made some little additions to, & recorded!) some articles from the iCiNG archive which are totally useful & relevant — but even without those, there are over 12,000 words of brand-spanking new original content!
So how does it work? You can pick up this chapter for $12, you can subscribe monthly for $10 (& will be sent all the back-issues) or you can snap them all up in one fell swoop for $84 (this brings the price down to $7 an issue). You buy them through Paypal, which means you don’t even need a credit card. Boom! You’re WELCOME!
Of course, before this chapter, there were five others! Here’s the low-down on each of them, with some reviews to let you know what you’re in for!
Love & Sequins #1: LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF — Self-adoration, manifesting your ideal persona, channelling your inner Marie Antoinette & everything in between!
“This podcast has been tremendously helpful. It has indeed resonated deeply in all of the tiny crevices of my being where I’ve been hiding my hopes and dreams and instead allowing myself to be swallowed by fear and doubt. I couldn’t agree more that we all know that self-confidence and self-love are the root of success, of living the positive inspired lives we all dream about. And yet, until now it escaped me that I could practice at being confident. That I could slowly develop these skills over time. I had a huge a-ha moment – of course it won’t happen overnight! Of course it’s about making small changes, adjusting my mindset and perceptions in the moment… Thank you for letting your own light shine as it has given me permission and inspiration to do the same. I’m deeply grateful.” — L.
“Dude. I’m just listening to your podcast now. Honestly, I was a little apprehensive because I’ve noticed your content on iCiNG has changed a little. This is the stuff. SIGH! RELIEF! CONGRATULATIONS. Don’t ever forget how much the ‘nonpareils’ have their hearts out there for you. Me included always always always. You’re just GOOD, you know? Substantial and full of perspective, dripping with sticky as honey vocabulary. Plus your voice is so badass.” — S.
Love & Sequins #2: THE SMART GIRL’S GUIDE TO BUSINESS — Taking control of your life, finding your passion, loving what you do & making mad bling!
“Thank you so much for your inspiration. it really gave me the kick up the bum that I needed. I was always afraid to take a creative income path, for fear that my talent was lacking. I still have these insecurities, but I realise that right now, while I’m young, enthusiastic and motivated is the very best time to give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll try something different. if it is a success, then maybe it will give me the confidence to try some other more innovative ideas.” — V.
“I am writing to you in regard to a project that I started as a result of your lovely site. I guess you could call me one of your inspired non-pareils. Wikifashion began as an idea around one year ago and I never really had the “chutzpah” to give it a go until I purchased your podcast on “being your own boss”. I fell asleep listening to that podcast every night for a week, taking it all in and furiously scribbling down notes. It was so groundbreaking for me and every word that you spoke really resonated with me. Thank you for inspiration and words of wisdom.” — M.
Love & Sequins #3: LOVE, SEX, THE GALAXY & EVERYTHING — From falling in love to co-habitation, & all the beauty & madness contained within!
“Gala, I loved this one! I listened to it as soon as you sent it. I’ve always been kind of a cynic when it comes to love, but I think I’m ready to let my guard down and take the plunge. The ‘love self-evaluation’ and ‘figuring out what you want from a partner’ parts stood out the most to me, and I’m definitely going to take the time to write and reflect on these areas. Thank you so much!” — D.
“This was supermegaawesome good! I like the way it flows and sounds natural… Like you’re whispering good advice in my ear! And also I was walking my dog while listening to this and 3 or 4 times I just burst out laughing at some of the things you said; a lot of strange looks! Please keep this up, they’re all super good and I really do owe a lot to you!” — V.
Love & Sequins #4: A GUIDE TO MANNERS FOR THE MODERN MINX — Etiquette, social graces & charming the pants off total strangers for the uninitiated!
“i just listened to this & it’s SO helpful, you have no idea. thank you, thank you, thank you! i’ve always been pretty socially awkward & it’s only gotten worse the past year or two & i’ve really been wanting to change that, but never knew where/how to start… i’m sure i’ll listen to it many more times :] & absolutely do the homework.” — M.
“Gala, you have truly hit the spot once more! I sat there nodding to myself, smiling with recognition, laughing out loud and thinking WOW this girl inspires me to change the world too as I listened to the 4th Love&Sequins. Thank you so much wonderful!” — A.
Love & Sequins #5: FINDING HAPPINESS & MAKING IT STAY — Choosing joy, making magic & devoting your life to love, adventure & deliciousness!
“Thank you Gala for this one. It is your best yet and came at a perfect moment as the universe so decided. Starting today I will be happier, stronger person, set my goals and achieve them. I will be happy because I can be and I am going to take responsibility for myself and my emotions and not blame it on anyone else. Thank you a million…think you gave me the push I needed to achieve my goal and be happy in the mean time. Thanks again! Stay magical stay wonderful stay powerful and never stop moving forward!!” — S.
“I can honestly say this is the best $12 you will ever spend. I’ve been seeing a psychologist for the past 6 months… What Gala has produced is that 6 months of therapy all wrapped up into an hour long podcast. Her advice about choosing how you react to situations is the most helpful life advice you may ever receive.” — K.
As always my beautiful, thank you so much for your support & encouragement!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [47] Tags: consumption,
how to,
inspiration,
podcast Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!A-Morir @ ChinaShop
[ 23 October 2009, 12:18 ]
I discovered A-Morir at the beginning of the year. The Patricia Field Boutique in NYC is a veritable treasure trove of all things colorful, shiny & over-the-top, but even among their choicest pieces, something stood out: a pair of Swarovski crystal-encrusted glasses. The frames were square & oversized, & the crystals were gleaming gunmetal. They made me think of what the World Spelling Bee champion would wear if they’d had a huge (albeit underaged) win in Las Vegas.
You’ve seen A-Morir too– you just don’t know it yet. A-Morir is an accessory line, but customized eyewear is what they’re known for. A-Morir glasses have been donned on The Hills, the red carpet & in a variety of music videos. They’ve adorned the faces of a slew of true modern icons like Cassie, Katy Perry, Mariah Carey & Jazmine Sullivan. A-Morir also counts Rihanna as one of its most enthusiastic supporters, meaning it’s really only a matter of time until this one-girl operation is no longer a top-end secret…
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [23] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 19th October 2009
[ 19 October 2009, 12:33 ]
Monday 19th October:
Think about which colours really suit you. Try not to wear things just because you like the colour — that’s a good way to start out if all you normally wear is black or brown, but finding out which colours actually flatter you will completely transform the way you look. Not sure where to start? Read my very first article for iCiNG (!!!), Fashion Help For Recovering Goths.
Tuesday 20th October:
Go to a diner with your best friend & have an immense feast! Preferably late at night. Be sure to order immense desserts, & take a camera (or video camera) for best results!
Wednesday 21st October:
Bake a tray of gingerbread men, decorate them to look like people you know, & then give them out! (Bonus points if you can create a resemblance with frosting! I am not that talented!)
Thursday 22nd October:
Support other women, always.
Friday 23rd October:
Change your hair entirely: go short, go long (extensions!), shave the sides, switch the colour, cut a fringe or bangs, whatever. Just do something drastic! A new haircut makes you feel unstoppable.
Saturday 24th October:
Learn a magic trick & get really good at it.
Sunday 25th October:
Make your life more beautiful in a way that makes sense to you. Buy a bunch of flowers, write yourself a love letter or paint your bedroom shocking pink.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [37] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Interior Design 101
[ 16 October 2009, 14:37 ]
Sometimes all a room needs is one special object to pull everything together & give you a sense of direction.
This is the piece that will set the tone of my office. So happy!
He has also become an impromptu mascot of sorts, which of course means that he needs a name. Any thoughts?
Yorick is a strong contender…
(Glitter skull bought in a random gift store in the East Village, though you could make your own easily [polystyrene skull + spray adhesive + glitter]; sequinned mouse ears from Disneyland.)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [66] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Coco Avant Chanel @ ChinaShop
[ 13 October 2009, 02:35 ]
Most of us know that Coco Chanel was an important figure in fashion, but why? It’s not just that her fashion house, Chanel, has stood the test of time & continues to dictate moods, cuts & aesthetics. Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel truly revolutionised the world of women’s fashion. In fact, she was so influential that she was the only person in the field of haute couture to be named on TIME Magazine’s 100 most influential people of the 20th Century.
Coco Avant Chanel stars Audrey Tautou of Amelie fame. It is the story of Coco Chanel’s extremely humble beginnings, & it finishes just as her star is beginning to rise. Starting as a hat-maker, her romantic involvement with various wealthy men lead to her own shop in Paris, where her reputation was bolstered by her customers, many of whom were revered French actresses or aristocrats…
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [12] Tags: aesthetic,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 12th October 2009
[ 11 October 2009, 15:22 ]
Here are some ideas to get you through the week. What do you have planned that you’re excited about? I am so so so thrilled about being back in my favourite city with my favourite man & my favourite dog! AHHHH!
Monday 12th October:
Wear more glitter! A bit of shimmer around the eyes, some crystals glued to your shoes or twinkling bracelets will all do the trick.
Tuesday 13th October:
Write LOVE on the wall to remind yourself constantly.
Wednesday 14th October:
Stick glow-in-the-dark stars all over your roof in the shape of the actual constellations. Lie on your back & stare at them when you’re falling asleep.
Thursday 15th October:
Buy a make-up manual (Kevyn Aucoin is a great place to start!), read it, learn from it, & practice all the time.
Friday 16th October:
Stop waiting for people to entertain you — generate your own joy!
Saturday 17th October:
Buy DVDs of your favourite comedians doing stand-up, & make a habit of watching at least one a week.
Sunday 18th October:
Eat Oreos with chopsticks. Yum yum!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [41] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Imaginary Girls In Black & White
[ 6 October 2009, 00:22 ]
I didn’t set out for these outfits to all be combinations of black, white & grey, it just ended up that way! The thing is, black doesn’t have to be boring. There is so much texture around at the moment that an outfit can look amazing even if there’s no colour involved. Layer up with leather (real or faux), wool, zippers, studs, ruching, stockings, feathers, fringe or crystals to create a look that transforms you as well as keeping you cozy!
Dahlia worked in public relations. She grew prize orchids, preferred sandwiches with the crusts cut off & could run miles in her stilettos. She was obsessed with online dating but never met anyone in person — she preferred her orchids.
Veronica’s favourite things included cans of neon spraypaint, writing rhyming couplets for people’s birthdays, analysing her dreams, rap records from the ’80s & never returning books to the library. She was an it-girl on the internet but never went online, so had no idea.
Greta was obsessed with finding the perfect matte pink lipstick, sitting cross-legged & making promises with her fingers crossed behind her back. She always had candy wrappers in her pockets, & her motto was Per Aspera Ad Astra — “through hardships to the stars”.
Mink was an ex-model who gave it up to pursue an art degree. She meditated on swing-sets after dark. She often bought flowers instead of paying her rent, could absolutely never catch the right bus, & sometimes wrote songs for the insects she spotted in her bathroom.
P.S. Product information for all but Veronica are here — my draft of her outfit disappeared before I could publish it, boo!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [47] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 5th October 2009
[ 4 October 2009, 16:47 ]
Monday 5th October:
Bake cupcakes while listening to White Zombie! (Food tastes better if you dance while you prepare it…)
Tuesday 6th October:
Cover your arms in butterfly temporary tattoos — from the tips of your fingers to the crest of your shoulder.
Wednesday 7th October:
Use Moroccan tea glasses as vases, & fill with tiny flowers. Put a different coloured glass in every room of your house.
Thursday 8th October:
Buy & repaint a big doll-house in psychedelic colours. Turquoise with white trim & pink doors? Violet with tangerine accents? Put tealight candles inside & place it on your dining table. (But don’t set your entire house ablaze, okay?)
Friday 9th October:
Go out & take photos of fairies.
Saturday 10th October:
Wrap yourself up in Christmas lights for your lover to discover when they get home.
Sunday 11th October:
Hang a canopy over your bed & have dedicated You time beneath it every Sunday. Tea, biscuits & a good book should be part of the regime!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [51] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Yayoi Kusama
[ 29 September 2009, 14:17 ]
I was almost perfectly camoflauged!
“By obliterating one’s individual self, one returns to the infinite universe.”
Yesterday I went with my friend Mer to see the Yayoi Kusama exhibition at Wellington’s City Gallery. It was so excellent, & the second show of hers I’ve seen. I adore her, & as I walked around, I realised that I haven’t really written much about her here!
The first time I heard her name was in a song called Hot Topic by Le Tigre, a popular Kathleen Hanna (of Bikini Kill fame) musical project. I didn’t think about her again until I was living in Melbourne, & one of her shows came to town. I walked down to see it & was blown away — the landscape had been transformed by these strange red shapes covered in polka dots. I took photos of myself next to them, & the love affair officially began.
Yayoi Kusama (草間彌生) was born in Japan in March 1929. She suffered extreme physical abuse at the hands of her mother as a child, & began hallucinating at a young age. Polka dots feature heavily in her work, & she says they are taken directly from her visions & hallucinations. She discovered that by drawing or painting what she saw, she was able to maintain some control over her mind. She voluntarily committed herself to an institution in the mid-1970s, & lives there to this day. Her studio isn’t far from the hospital, & she has attributed art with saving her life.
In 2008, one of her pieces was sold for over $5,000,000, the most expensive work ever to be sold by a living female artist.
While some people dismiss her art as “too abstract”, all that Yayoi is trying to communicate is the long process of creation itself, & she is adamant that she makes art only for herself. Her audience appears to be of little or no concern to her.
“I am an obsessional artist. People call me otherwise, but I simply let them do as they please. I consider myself a heretic of the art world. I think only of myself when I make an artwork. Affected by the obsession that has been lodged in my body.”
Her exhibitions are a mixed bag, ranging from illustrations to infinity rooms (mirrored rooms filled with hanging coloured lights or even sewn, polka dot shapes) & large collections of reflective balls. You might walk into a room covered in polka dots with enormous vinyl installations, or into a black-lit living room scene, popping with neon colours. Her art is really incredible, it invites you in while simultaneously confusing you, & encourages you to view things in a different way.
She loves to wear different coloured wigs, oversized polka dot caftans & bright lipstick. She is extremely prolific, & was a direct influence on both Yoko Ono & Andy Warhol.
How to bring a little more 草間彌生 into your life:
Draw polka dots on everything
Use bright colours, shamelessly & with abandon
Don’t be afraid to repeat yourself
Be self-obsessed
Use art as therapy
Watch Yayoi Kusama: I Love Me
Start a collection of wigs
Fill your house with mirrors
Recognise that it doesn’t matter where you came from
Construct a necklace of flowers
Make “LOVE FOREVER” your mantra
Live your art
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [43] Tags: aesthetic,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Divinity, Love & Living!
[ 28 September 2009, 21:04 ]
Last week I announced that we were going to be embarking on a fabulous new adventure — & here we are! My amazing friend & psychic advisor Joycelle will be doing weekly readings right here!
Am I on the right path & is this a viable career choice? I’m feeling as if the relationship I am in is falling apart, just wondering what to do & if the right person is ever going to come along.— Kahurangi
Dear Kahurangi,
Yes I do believe you are on the right track & about to get rather focused, lining all your ducks up in a row!
It appears you have been struggling to assert yourself & your work, but that is all about to change dramatically!
Expect new beginnings & a fresh start. There will be an opportunity of a partnership in the making; this could come through a friend giving you some much needed help advice or counsel!
Expect some fantastic rewarding financial transactions calls for work & lots of inquiries about what you are doing and have to offer.
ROMANCE: if you can’t have this relationship exactly the way YOU want it then you won’t be sure you want it at all!
I see good luck attracting a new relationship or at least romance, & many invitations for socializing. One will be an invitation to a dress-up or formal party!
You will meet your man very close to or at either work or right outside your front door! Look out for a water sign man such as Pisces Cancer or Scorpio.
You seem to spend a lot of time daydreaming about love & romance & have been so close but no cigar with your love life in the past.
Trust me, this is going to change as there will be an aura of romance about you & you will start again on a new foot or with a new partner. I pick up a real fancy or passion for shoes around you?
Exciting stuff coming up with love everywhere as you now want quality over quantity!
As for a full detailed reading… Hold on tight, I am working with Gala to offer you all a fabulous discounted opportunity in the very near future via this wondrous site!
I declined becoming a graphic designer for becoming a teacher. I am really not sure if I have made the right decision… would you be so kind to tell me if I will make my way? — Katharina, GermanyHi Katharina,
I feel there has been a strong male influence around your decision.
When we are at a “soulful peace” we always make the correct decisions for our highest good. I see you are extremely creative with a love for friendships, cooking, food, nature, children & the great outdoors. You have many talents & I see you will stick with the teaching career & have the ability to pass with honours!
I believe you will spend 6 years in total studying child education with some papers connected to a University some distance from your immediate town, although they may be done online.
Study & then working with children will become a breeze for you. You will give children the power of hope, inspiration & show them how learning can be fun with a capital “F”!
Throughout your life you will show many people just how to have pleasure in their lives beyond the importance of the basics such as reading writing & communicating. You will achieve so much by encouraging children through art, fun & playing games. You may suffer with communications throughout life & career with men or authority figures, but rise above their insecurities & follow your own deep resolve!
You make a fantastic friend & all women will admire and adore your friendship.
I see an attraction for younger children such as early childhood education.
I suggest you allocate yourself several hours a week as YOU TIME to “hobby” on your graphic design passions as you have strong innate design qualities.
You could develop some of your ideas into design for children such as fashion or furniture or anything that is trendy for children OR any design with food in mind even if it’s redesigning or branding in connection to food such as labelling, marketing, packaging.
You also have great talent with languages even sign language. Personally I believe you have made a great choice although the first 8 months may be tiresome & tough… Hang in there.
There is pregnancy around you, either for yourself or a close friend or sister, you may have heard this news in August or news relating to pregnancy within 4 weeks. You are due to be given a couple of gifts, I see a small spiritual gift such as a candle or crystal or something with an Angel on it. Also someone is due to call on your home with a gift of wine for food for you. This will be great confirmation for you will know you are on the right track! Wishing you tremendous success!!!
Should I remain with my boyfriend of 6 years or has our relationship run its course? If so will he be ok?— Non 13/01/1985
Dear Non,
I feel your relationship has become boring, boring, boring, plagued at the moment with communication problems & lack of intimacy, sorry to be so personal but there seems to be sexual problems at the moment as well? I feel the last 2 years haven’t been that great in your eyes.
You probably feel you are trapped in a dead end relationship & feel like you are living in a dream world as far this partnership is at the moment.
You will want to end this relationship & will almost break up but it won’t end & will continue in spite of everything.
Personally I like your partner’s energy & see that you might like to rethink things & realise all the qualities you found so enticing about him & your relationship so that you can just fall in love again!
I do see you hearing from a man connected to your past & this will be on the phone.
At the moment you may be feeling your man isn’t making any effort towards the relationship & you need excitement & love, attention & fun. I feel he has problems at work which are weighing heavy on him. I also see a romance with a man in a uniform or a professional connected with the law or medicine, if you can relate to this?
I see you not making any major changes over the next 4 months, so do spend time falling in love again. Remember men like to be told how you liked to be loved, so give him lots of praise when he makes you happy, or in black & white terms ASK him for what you need from him & how & in what direct ways you need to be shown affection & appreciation.
There is a lot of excitement coming up for you with sudden lucky news on the career front!
Best advice I get is stay put both in work & in love till after your next birthday!
Oh your man has a surprise for you connected with a partnership within 3 weeks!
You will have a very happy homefront with lots of surprises coming right to your front door!
Not sure what line of work you are in but I get lots of paper work mail letters & news even work connected with the press or publishing industry. I also see the purchase of a new red coloured car around you. Oh… right out of the blue your man is going to give you either a small gift of money or flowers so smile sweetly and say…”Thanks, it’s this type of this simple gesture from you that makes me so happy & what I would like each and every week from you!”
I’m an FTM transgender person & I need to raise 7k for chest surgery. How?Dear Luke,— Luke Black
I see you getting your wish but in fact all up you are going to need or will achieve 8 thousand dollars!
This operation & process will take over 4 months to complete, with many check ups, tests & or health-related problems on the horizon but all will END WELL!
I see a passionate business type of lady with one small child helping you with your dream; you will recognise her by the unique glasses she wears.
I feel the money is going to come by simply ASKING everyone you met & by you getting creative!
I see you approaching websites for sponsorship & even getting the medical professions & media on board such as a documentary covering the operation & getting it paid by another.
I also see you scribing a journal or book describing your journey. I feel you have a great sense of humour too! Perhaps this could generate an income to pay for your operations as well!Good luck for your dream & get promoting yourself on the internet. If there is a site with strong following that has men throwing money at strangers on www.FreeBreastImplants.com, then I am sure you can find support & ideas to fuel your dreams…. Good luck!
I am about to set off for a year long adventure, going to Japan, Australia & America with a friend. What happens when I come back & what career path should I start out in?Dear Zoe,— Zoe 17/5/1987
Bon Voyage! You seem to have everything in place & are right; this is a great time for you to take this leap into the big wide world!
I feel if you are going to Australia you might also consider popping over & checking out fabulous New Zealand. You really won’t regret the chance, although I am biased as I live in the most beautiful country in the world!
I feel like you could be heading off in less than 3 weeks from today?
Take lots of deep breaths over the next 12 months as you are more than likely to be frustrated in your travels with transportations & with car problems. Not sure which countries will be most annoying as it seems more of an occurring theme!
You will learn patience & trusting in the divine plan of the universe during this time away.
This trip & travels will be awesome & a true eye opener giving you both experiences which provide tremendous fun, learning & a couple of “blessed” moments!
Personally I want to say, focus on your trip & not worry about what to do in the future so that you are able to live in the moment & enjoy the absolute bliss of that moment!
You will make two very important MALE contacts in your travels that will inspire your dedications or passions for a future career. In fact leaving behind one man you met might break your heart.
You will truly love Japan & feel a spiritual connection with the culture or high pace lifestyle & technology.
This journey will lead & show you the way to your future career passion. Ideas will will naturally unfold I believe just months into your travels, so relax enjoy & be open: you never know when lightening might strike!
I see legal work with lawyers as important. There could also be a position within a government department such as internal affairs or global connections such as marketing or public relations, tourism industries around you!
You have great talents for meeting people & communicating holistically with all walks of life so push that wonderful skill & try to absorb all culture & languages!
I feel there could be family connections or relations that are living in America that you can touch base with or associate with & this will be very beneficial not only during the holiday but way down the road! (I am seeing a vision of the docks of Manhattan as being important.)
Do some family tree researching before you head over to USA.
Just remember: enjoy your journey & focus on the here and now, simply… The rest of your life will unfold upon your return!
I’ve been dreaming of going to France as an exchange student for an academic year. Can it happen?— Katelyn 27/10/1993
Dear Katelyn,
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
I see three years as IMPORTANT, so either within 3 years or you will be lucky enough to score a 3 year exchange scholarship!
You have two men around you that are important with executing your dreams!
I see an application to a board or committee that you have to make in order to apply.
You will pass through with flying colours & make them proud with your passion to go & promote your local town & nation as well.
The more creative you can be with this application the better, so if you need to make the application in person, get dressed up in French colours etc., as you need to show the powers that be what this experience will mean to you at a heart level & also what you can offer back to France.
I see you will stay or board with a head master or someone high up in the school system.
Tell Dad not to panic or fear for you, he can come & visit or webcam weekly!
Best advice is working on your dream! Keep a journal by your bed & each night ask yourself “How can I succeed getting my application accepted for FRANCE?”
In the morning write down all that you remember of your dream as your subconscious mind is directing you.
If you have a male French language teacher ASK him for all his advice & take it!
I feel so confident for you & excited… So act now as if you are already in France living the dream! Enjoy sweet cherie!
I graduated with an MA in 2008, & then spent a great six months in New Zealand & now I’m back, living at home, I was wondering if Joycelle would be able to give me any insights about my general life direction.
— Kylie Jean
Dear Kylie Jean,
Many thanks for your great work here in New Zealand! I trust my country treated you well!
Firstly there will be love & romance with a nice gentleman in an army uniform. I feel he is high up in rank also & a good guy with a superb career prospects ahead for him. He could be an earth sign man or just older than you.
As for career, don’t sweat nor stress, you have made a great impression to your peers & employers with all tasks & jobs you have undertaken in the past.
Always be asking for what you need, so don’t be afraid to ask your past & present employers to recommend you if they know of a position that will be benefited by having YOU in service!
Within eight weeks & by the skin of your teeth a male will present you with a job opportunity. You will be overwhelmed with joy & jump at it with all guns blazing!
I do see you moving out of your township & moving into a larger city or the CAPITAL of your country for this job, although this job will involve lots of travel around & also across country. If it helps the job is NORTH from where you are living now.
You will work closely with 3 other males & they will appreciate your capabilities, alertness, studiousness & enterprising skills!
I keep seeing planning construction, developing & building also relating to real estate at a top level being important. You will take up more study over next 2 years to complete another qualification which will be backed & encouraged by your employer. Best of luck my dear!
I would like to know what you see in the future for us; because life has just been so crazy difficult lately & we are on the slow path to self-improvement?Dear Natasja,— Natasja
Hi, yes times have been very hard for you & Blake. Good on you for having the courage to walk through this tough time! I take my hat off to you both.
You have the wish card sitting right on top of you right NOW!
So put out for your personal wishes and desires to start happening.I get some unexpected news coming with great success regarding tickets for a trip back home!
There is a strong childhood friend around you offering fun & friendship & a magical invitation coming which I suggest to leap at the chance.
I do get you need to hold your tongue over something & remember speech is silver but silence can be golden. You also have great news coming in the mail connected with money & I see you jumping up and down over it! For some reason it’s been delayed or a struggle to get this money but alas it’s on its way & it has some deep importance with the past!Your love life is going to have some more changes in store.
I see a lot of your vitality is consumed by your partner’s health & wellbeing, I also feel some issues over medication, either forgetting to take it or hassle with medication or could just be medication has been very very expensive for you both.
Frankly, I think you need some time out & fun and thankfully it’s on its way with a very special love invitation coming!
I feel you could well be packing bags this Xmas to come home to New Zealand & all if not most of the trip will be hassle free & paid for by another! Enjoy you have earned it!
I feel this relationship is getting more like best friend instead of lovers & soul partners at this time? There are some tough arguments also & insecurities abound!
At times you may wish to abandon this relationship but then the karmic pull is so strong it keeps you there loving & supporting your man!I feel there has been a third party that you can’t seem to get out of your mind as well?
I feel you are due to receive some very good news which will get you back on track for yourself & start the ball rolling in your own life again.
There is a beautiful gift of gold coming which hangs such as a necklace or charm bracelet. Finally I feel some news is coming where you will need to change residence; perhaps the landlord wants to sell? I see you working with real estate agents out looking at property. This feels within 6 to 8 weeks. I am getting 8 years is important — either that is the age difference between you & your man or that could be how long you stay away from you place of birth?I see news of a sudden wedding! I am not entirely sure if that is your own or a very close friend around you.
Don’t panic about finances as I get you robbing Peter to pay Paul in the last two years.
Connections with Brisbane will be important.
Watch your own energy levels as you could become very drained over the next 2 to 4 weeks
You will have 2 children around you within 5 years so enjoy!
I wish you both the blessings of health wealth & personal success along your new journeys.
You might like to take a look at my website under Aura-Soma® as this system helps support the dramatic changes & challenges you have been through & helps bring the soul back into life after such horrendous ordeals.
Lots of love & blessings!
Can you see us living together in the next 6, 12 or 18 months? Can you see us lasting the distance? Can we make it work long distance for a shorter time longer?— Hilary 18/09/1989
Dear Hilary,
Your relationship is blessed with love!
There will be a new job opportunity around October for either you or your new man. You might like to watch your communications with your man when you see and talk with him, as you are stressed due to the distance & he is over-working & studying so hard there is pressure on both sides.
The relationship is based on love & I see a happy union & reunion in 3 weeks! Just watch your emotions as they get rather rocky during times of separation.
Yes, you will live together either in 10 months time or from as soon as October you are setting up a house so that he can come & go too!
Please be patient, he is under a lot of pressure to perform in his work & wants to excel beyond his & your expectations, so that his future is set up for the long haul for you BOTH!
Pass the time by looking after you & developing lots of new interests & hobbies.
This relationship has a lot of trust & you are both able to express the depth of your hearts when together!
I see you also furthering your own skills with study in the near future too! Although you won’t be so sure about two papers you choose to enrol in!
Best advice is to sleep on it & you will know what subject to flow upon waking.
Enjoy the time apart, you are supporting a fine man & his career will make you very proud in the near future!
Can you see me having surgery soon and how will it go? When do you think my soul mate is coming?— Titch
Hi Titch,
Within 3 days of your email you will be talking with your specialist.
I see letters off to an authority to get approval. Please don’t be intimidated by health professionals, basically stand your ground & ask for what you want & you will get it — it might be at the eleventh hour though!
I see you in hospital having the surgery within 3 months, it going well & you being most satisfied with the results.
There is some new procedure or idea your specialist wants to try out on you with a follow up just before your next birthday.
I am getting Aries energy so this operation must be connected with the head & for glamour as you will be celebrating a new look!
The operation will in some way be connected to your past or where you have had a procedure before, near water as I see a short stay in a close town.
I see you needing to be there before 8am in the morning. I also see new glasses & an operation around the eye area.
I see a gift coming within the next 3 months from a family member. It’s something sweet, feels like a box of chocolates as a little token of thank you, & rather unexpected.
As for love life I see a NEW man that you will be meeting at a celebration; feels like before Xmas. Connections with male real estate agents will be important.
In fact I get a property being advertised & an offer coming within the month that you will be happy about. It may not be your private dwelling but a large parcel of land you are connected with.
Back to love… This new man could also be an Aries & works for himself connected with property, such as plans building development, & working with large estates & businesses.
This love/romance will take you by storm: you will be very surprised by a sudden unexpected KISS & declaration of love & affection!
This man has the shiniest of shoes & is rather a snappy dresser. He may have recently had some accident that changed the direction of his life. He seems to be out celebrating his divorce or finalising some deal at the same time as you when you meet.
I also see a new kitten, it feels like a tiny jet black sweetie that you will fall in love with & weaken to bring home.
There will be legal issues to sort out in the next 2 to 3 weeks which could truly irritate you. However, money is coming through lawyers & the finalising of legal papers.
You are also about to venture out on a major holiday travelling in 2010 with another couple.
Great news awaits you the week before Xmas!
I see you wanting to learn some new craft or hobby & will be surrounded by books & written material.
There is good luck for a female friend or younger female relative around a new white car!
As for the new you, just remember Hippocrates oath, never have an operation whilst the moon in that particular sign! So if it was on the head don’t have the operation whilst the new moon or especially full moon is in Aries! I see you out shopping getting ready for the new look!
Best of luck!
I’m beginning to feel like the last person in the world who doesn’t have a cool, supportive partner, or at least a date for Friday night!— Mandy 01/07/1985
Dear Mandy,
You are surrounded by men & you feel like their big sister or gal pal?
The men love your company & many want more from you!
I feel there is going to be a blind date or introduction made via friend.
So start telling these friends to set you up with their best mate who would be worthy of you! Beware as one guy friend will feel insecure about losing your friendship!
You are fantastic at your job and well suited to it!
I see you will do some study in the near future, if only part-time & paid for by your employer.
You have great promotional ideas & business acumen so look for a paper or subject along business development lines, especially the legal side of things.
I also see the law or lawyers very prominent in your life.
I see a course or learning seminar connected with your work where you may find a new love interest approach you!
Start taking all invitations that come your way as your soul partner is searching for you too at this moment.
He will be younger than you — maybe just 3 years but it’s okay, will mean nothing to you both & helps as he is rather tall!
Now…. I am getting exciting news of a lucky windfall around you or a younger family relative.
I feel there is a close friend that is also doing study with counselling or psychology around you, she may also be single so a night on the town together is important.
Oh, when Mr. Man comes along… I feel within the next 7 months you will have found him & will be extremely happy together.
The relationship will start out rather slow so you might need to bring things into focus rather than him take the lead.
I feel for you as you weren’t meant to be alone & the last 6 years have been truly hard for you emotionally.
Just hang in a little longer, he is on his way! You will also know it’s him as he drives a blue vehicle! I am seeing light blue more than dark blue.
He is a rather shy man but very romantic so expect roses galore when his own heart opens up!
There must be a birthday party or huge social event coming up around one of your male friends. I feel you could meet him there, as you will be out partying & one of the gang flirting and having fun!
You must look good in red, do you wear a red hat & scarf in winter?
Good luck, I understand 6 years on your own can be hard & you start to wonder if God forgot to make your double so have faith. Mandy, I have been on my own for the last 22 years & know just how you feel!
Since I graduated, I’ve been depressed & I’ve had trouble shaking it. Should I pursue the life of an independent artist & create my own business path (scary), or should I enter the creative workforce & work my way up the corporate ladder (scary)?Lastly, should I forget about winning the lottery?!
— Clare
Dear Clare,
Thanks for being so honest! I want to talk about your depression as it’s very real & life has been miserable for you for the last 3 years I believe.
Would you consider talking with a doctor as I feel you need help at this time!
Sometimes depression can be hereditary & I feel it comes along your mother’s side of the family.
Sometimes it hard to see the forest for the trees & being so creative you can get overwhelmed by trees and forget life is a forest so to speak.
This depression I feel is causing a huge slump in your life, & some days it’s hard to get out of bed & draw back the curtains.
I see you need to take small steps as decision-making has always been difficult for you, especially if left to your own devices.
It’s important you work in a close partnership or with another liked- minded creative & inspiring person in my opinion.
I see you working with another couple, a male & female team who have been in the industry for years. I feel you will learn so much from them if you have the patience & don’t become too arrogant or self indulged etc.
I want to say pace yourself as you seem to have burn-out every 6 months, & feel like throwing the baby out with the dish water.
I don’t see you starting your own business nor would I advise it for the next couple of years, as you need to establish a name for yourself & draw the people & skills into your life at this time.
I feel you are also great at interior & exterior design!
As for winning the lottery, never give up hope! Start each morning when dropping your feet to the ground by saying, “I am extremely lucky with money; I attract unexpected money wherever I turn.”
Once you have built up the energy believing winning is important, real & you deserve it, then start to acknowledge all the unexpected blessings that come your way!!!
I told my girlfriend on 26 November last year to go buy a ticket for the next night’s draw! I felt real strong we were going to win!
She won $83,000.00 & still didn’t believe me even when I read the numbers off the screen to her & she was reading the ticket in front of her!
Once we open ourselves up to everything in life we realise that everything is just energy & you become a magnet to what you want to attract, & will get the nudge or feel when the time is right to take the ticket etc.
In summary I see you working for someone else — you may need to travel some distance or make a shift across town. Then in 3 years you will be pursing your dreams as you will know exactly what they are & have the wisdom to flow with where you are being lead.
In the meantime allocate each Saturday morning to painting & working on your private art collections so that you have something to show along the track!
Never fear the future… You are a Libran & they are all destined to be rich & have money-making ideas at the drop of a hat!
Travel & following a spiritual path will be very important in your future.
Let me know how your depression goes as the colour yellow is brilliant for lifting one’s vibrational happiness. Check out my website under Aura-Soma & living jewels.
I would love some general direction concerning my life & career direction, as well as some insight on my love life, or lack thereof. Also, I have always struggled with my health — any advice?— Conrad Ryan Bailey
Dear Conrad,
Whilst I see you have a huge change of fate & experiences starting over the next two months, I also see you have had about 6 years of health issues to deal with.
I see within the month some more medical tests, check ups & procedures in store. All will end well though!
I see you travelling to a new area (large hospital or very modern medical clinics) to meet with a new medical physician concerning your health issues. I also see a female specialist helping to diagnose a problem that has been worrying you for some time. In time you will switch doctors & this will be okay.
I feel you will leave the work you are doing at this moment as it’s not really you anyway, & you will have opportunities of study in the future which will inspire you to the core of your own power & passion.
I am picking up a small family business around you.
I don’t think you will be working full time as you health & well- being are going to be centre stage for next few months.
I do get you are extremely talented with technology & computers & will work on websites & programming in the future!
This work is very much self motivated & you can do on your own, however I see an older man will be instructing & tutoring you as well.
There will be a new love interest which is I believe is a past love interest coming back into your life — someone you knew or dated approximately two years ago or is 2 years older than you.
Watch out for a late night phone call from this admirer & enjoy the reunion.
You are about to hear news of a family member taking a trip across water on a fantastic holiday, feels like she is researching family trees & ancestors.
I feel you will be signing some legal papers in the very near future, this will be connected with wills, inheritances &/or shares & investments or just savings plans. It feels very official but very practical and simple.
I am seeing the banking industry here as very important to you & your future. You seem to have a good understanding with maths & numbers and can use this astute knowledge in your future.
Wishing you lots of luck good health, you might like to look at an Aura-Soma reading to get an understanding of your health issues & how to support yourself holistically.
I got married just a week after my 19th birthday – what should I do? I can’t lose my husband and the somewhat stable life we’ve created, but I also don’t want to spend my idealistic youth JUST slaving away at a career I’m not so in love with! I feel torn in two and really could use some directional advice!— Dallas 12/7/1987
Your marriage is still sweet & fun. ENJOY!
I really like the energy I see around your husband; he truly loves you & will give you everything you want to see that you are happy.
Learn to trust & communicate your deep desires with your husband. He is very proud of whom you are & that you wish to achieve.
I don’t feel you have told him how disappointed & restless you are with your life. I feel you spend a lot of time lost, unmotivated even shopping & wasting money.
I feel you don’t need half the stuff you buy. It’s just filling a void or because of unhappiness.
Try to stop saying DEBT & focus on abundance! If all you think about is debt that is all you will ever have.
I feel your hubby is more positive than you know or give him credit for, & he wants to get the house paid off & be successful as well.
I feel you can really trust your man & if he saw a future with both your dreams & goals in place he would do everything to make it happen, even if it meant selling the house & living on faith in pursuit of happiness & accomplishing a dream!
I see you travelling the world & believe it or not with your husband too!
This may not happen till you hit 30 years of age but it will happen!
There is some unexpected luck or opportunity about to present itself which offers you a new career direction.
I feel you need to sit hubby down & play a game of Monopoly, then start telling him what truly sets your heart on fire & what dreams you hold for your future… Then LET HIM tell you his too!
I feel he would like more property or commercial land in the future.
He appears very good with his hands even mechanically minded as I see him fixing things.
You & your man will both be working on your goals & dreams for the future and it will inspire you to have more TRUST, you will both realise there is more to life & can achieve all your dreams when you both focus creativity in support & with passion & love together, so don’t be afraid to share your ideas dreams & wants with him!
Oh I do see a career with film, TV in the future & lots of learning information & documentaries so STOP spending, start visualising your dreams as a reality, for 6 years will fly & you will be walking the parks of LONDON!!!!!
There will be a gift of money that comes your way through family, feels like in-laws. I am seeing a cheque written out for $6,000.00 for something important.
Once the communication is out in the open & you have put your goals and dreams on PAPER with a commitment date, you will be surprised how your hubby wants more fun in life & not just a mundane lifestyle based on survival and security.
I see you spending more time at the local library, museum or science institutions researching what you want to create. This activity will start drawing many contacts into your life that will help you along this journey.
I also see a gift of money such as sponsorship for something you want to in future. It will take about 6 years to pull off but it will be well worth it.
I see an old woman around you that’s unwell although she may not tell you, so watch out for her & offer her your time & help even if it’s just hanging out her washing or cooking her a meal. She will be tremendously grateful.
OH….. Hubby thinks you will make a fabulous MUMMY!!!
Much love to you all, may the blessings of light be upon you… & may your God always go with you!
Regards,
...Would you like to know the future, even if it’s just for fun?
Simply ask here! Send Joycelle a specific question along with your full name, date of birth & a pen name, & check back each Friday to read her chosen answers!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [55] Tags: advice,
inspiration,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 22nd September 2009
[ 21 September 2009, 19:31 ]
Start wearing a wrist ribbon.
Buy lingerie which is totally out of character. Doing this is surprisingly fun, & quite hilarious. Yandy.com just sent me a bunch of stuff which makes me so happy — things I would ordinarily never think of wearing, but which I actually love. (I got these: By the way, those links are probably NSFW!)
Go to a bookstore which stocks The Secret Universe of Names, & read up on the people you know. I did this yesterday & it was so eerily accurate it made me laugh out loud. It is amazing, I promise!
Work a paper hat into your ensemble.
Be proud of — & learn to love — your naked body.
Become properly acquainted with Hunter S. Thompson.
Go to a homeopath (they often have little stations hidden at the back of health food stores!) & have them make a custom Bach Flower Remedy blend for you. The homeopath should have a little booklet of the flowers which says what they are used for (like this), so you can choose whatever you need! They are made from spring water infused with wild flowers, & preserved in a little brandy. They come in a glass bottle with an eyedropper, & you just put droplets on your tongue a few times a day. I love them & swear they work!
...Try Alaskan gem essences too. (I have not tried these but want to!)
Print up some badges of your idols & wear a different one each day, depending on your mood. I have one of Yayoi Kusama (I am wearing it in this photo!) which I wear on days I want to be a little more surreal.
Revisit the old clothing at the back of the closet. How could it be re-worked? What else could you wear it with? How can you make it more current?
If you must complain, complain to the RIGHT people — people with the power to make a difference! So often we complain to our spouse about our work, & to our mother about our best friend, & so on. Your time is valuable, don’t waste it with nonsense. Be proactive!
Wear an elaborate headband every day.
Take time for yourself! Have a bath, turn off your phone, do some writing, lie down, whatever it takes — just take a moment to breathe.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [48] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Bring Some Happy Into Your Week!
[ 14 September 2009, 20:09 ]
Hello! I’m back after a week-long holiday! I turned 26 on Sunday (yay!) & my birthday gift to myself was a week away from the internet. It wasn’t a perfect break (I can never really extract myself from its evil clutches!) but it was pretty good, & now I am back, feeling refreshed, energised & excited to go. I haven’t had a break that long in almost three years, since iCiNG started, so it was long, long overdue!
Here are some fun things you could do this week. What do you have on your agenda?
Monday 14th September 2009
Celebrate Nubby‘s birthday! Wear red, impersonate Michael Jackson & then pass out in all your clothing! (Aw, bless!) Alternately, celebrate the birthday of your favourite Virgo. There are plenty of Virgo writers, Virgo rappers & other rad people whose lives we should be excited about. (Some of my picks: Ani Difranco, Bill Murray, Fiona Apple, Frances Farmer, Greta Garbo, Janet Frame, Jeremy Irons, Jesse James, Michael Jackson, Milton Hershey, Roald Dahl & Tim Burton.) Wear a hat, blow up balloons, eat some cake & have a good time!
Tuesday 15th September 2009
As you recover from the previous day’s sugar coma, make time to go through your jewellery box & fix or re-purpose some of your old treasures. Brooches with the pins broken off or earrings with a mate missing can be made into pretty much anything you can think of. Glue pendants onto a broad headband, pin a necklace to the lapels of your blazer, or safety-pin a bunch of jewellery together & wear it all at once, around your neck. Very decadent darling!
Wednesday 16th September 2009
Take photos of your favourite places: your bed, your best friend’s bedroom, a café, the view from your roof. Get them developed on one of those clever Kodak machines you see around the place, then stick them into your journal, notebook, etc. I am always blown away when I see photos of my old habitats, it brings back so many memories.
Thursday 17th September 2009
Get excited about the new season coming! In New Zealand, it’s all blossoms & big blue skies: very beautiful, whereas in the United States I know the wind has started howling & people are breaking out the cardigans. Think about what you want to do with the rest of your year! Eat lots of soup? Take up running? Hibernate with your sweetheart or dazzle the city with your flirting prowess? Grab a piece of paper & make a big list of things you want to achieve. Stick it to your fridge & cross the items off as you go. (Nubby & I have one of these at International Playgirl HQ!)
Friday 18th September 2009
Read about Louise L. Hay (even better, get your hands on You Can Heal Your Life), & think of some affirmations you could use. Write them down, put them somewhere visible, & start saying them out loud whenever you see them. (You cannot possibly say them enough.) One of Louise’s ones that I really like goes, “I do the work I love, I work with & for people I really like, & I’m earning good money”. Remember to phrase it in the present tense (as if you have it now)! P.S. Look! There’s even a Louise L. Hay iPhone application! That’s the best use of 99 cents ever.
Saturday 19th September 2009
Do some research into continuing education. Many universities & community centres offer classes which only go for a couple of days or occur one night a week. The other day I was at lunch with my friend who has been studying ayurvedic medicine, & as she told me about it, it reminded me how wonderful it is to learn something new. Do a weekend class in photography, creative writing, sales, jewellery-making, Italian, gardening, dance, graphic design… whatever excites you!
Sunday 20th September 2009
Organise to have lunch with someone you wish you knew better. Pick one of your favourite places to take them, & then go on some kind of adventure afterwards. Take photobooth pictures, walk around a park & talk to people together, or go shopping for ridiculous vintage sunglasses. Maybe even all three. Doing something fun & magical will bond you together much faster than just having lunch would!
What do you have planned for this week?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [39] Tags: how to,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Essential Items: Faux-Leather Skirt
[ 2 September 2009, 08:18 ]
Forever 21 is one of my favourite places to pick up pieces to mix & match with the rest of my wardrobe — & one of their newest additions, the faux-leather swing skirt is so fabulous it renders me almost speechless.
I had been eyeing it on their site for about a week before finally making it mine. I wore it the other night with a black button-down tank, long feather earrings & Frye boots, & it was a great success.
The skirt is perfect. No exaggeration. It sits high on the waist & flares out, hitting at that perfectly-flattering mid-thigh length, ensuring you look long & lean. It’s faux-leather, meaning it’s vegan as well as inexpensive. The colour makes it extremely versatile — you can pair it with anything, from white or gray to royal blue or neon yellow. It’s suitable for most body types, coming in sizes from XS to L. Best of all? It’s available online, so it can be anybody’s darling!
By way of demonstrating how versatile & fantastic this skirt really is, I’ve put together a few outfits so you can start imagining how you could wear it…
The Post Apocalyptic Mouseketeer fancied herself a warrior for all things cute. Whenever she rallied her troops, she made sure her uniform was immaculate: an altered Mickey Mouse hat, a striped tank from Forever 21, over-the-knee socks from TopShop & a pair of Sam Edelman Zoe booties were all she needed.
Is Karl your co-pilot? To make him yours, team a Markus Lupfer merino sweater with a Karl Who? tote from Colette, Proenza Schouler studded boots & a truly fabulous leather hat.
The Licorice Biker loves a black & white palette. When she’s not roaring down the street, she’s drinking espresso & browsing in bookshops. She wears a 5Preview Coco t-shirt with studded fingerless gloves from ASOS, Frye harness boots & a striped helmet from Les Ateliers Ruby.
Catwoman’s birthday was a surprisingly civilised affair. She matched a metallic zippered leotard from Wet Seal with a pair of Zizi metallic oxfords & a Luella mask, before blowing out her candles & stretching out for a snooze.
The Sorbet Vixen consistently mixed high & low end to delight onlookers. T-shirt & sweater from TopShop, worn with Lanvin sunglasses, an Anna Lou purse, strands of pearls & an absolutely delicious pair of Givenchy peep-toe booties.
Get in on the glory: Faux Leather Skirt, $22.80 from Forever 21.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [45] Tags: consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!We Are God In The Chrysalis
[ 1 September 2009, 12:28 ]
“Whenever you go out of doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, & fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, & put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstood & do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; & then without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great & splendid things you would like to do, & then, as the days go gliding by, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfilment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, & the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into the particular individual… Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude — the attitude of courage, frankness, & good cheer. To think right is to create. All things come through desire & every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Whenever you go out of doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high. We are god in the chrysalis.” — Elbert Hubbard
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
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quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Imagining International Playgirl HQ
[ 31 August 2009, 09:11 ]
I’m almost at the end of my sublease in New York — my fourth one! (How is this possible?!) & as it draws to a close, I’m starting to think about what it would be like to have more permanent digs. Oh, permanent digs. The thought makes me salivate. When you’re used to living out of suitcases, the concept seems like a mystical fairytale. Even when you manage to unpack your things, which I have to do or I go crazy, your suitcases are still lined up in the hallway, knowing that soon enough, everything’s going to have to go back inside them, & it’s on the road again.
The next month is going to contain much more travel than could be considered reasonable, but when I get back, things are going to be different… because I’m going to get my own place. No more living in someone else’s home. No more mixing my things in with the owner’s belongings. No more of that constant, lingering knowledge that I soon have to pack up & go.
So I’ve been thinking about how I want it to look. This is somewhat compounded by the fact that Nubby’s in town, & we talk about aesthetics with obsessive fervour. I’ve also been strongly influenced by this incredible store in Williamsburg called The Future Perfect, which sells the most incredible, rad & fun home furnishings ever — & I recently discovered The Ace Hotel, whose interior design is SO in line with my own style it kind of scares me!
Here are some pieces I’ve found, pictures that are inspiring me & thoughts on how I’d like my ideal home to look…
I’m really obsessed with white interiors. White walls are pretty much my favourite thing ever. Every single bedroom I’ve ever had has either had white or violet walls.
The last place I lived in alone, in Auckland, had white walls, a wall of windows & black carpet. I had two little two-seater couches & two individual overstuffed chairs, one of each in black & one of each in white. I had a big white Flokati rug & fairy lights everywhere, with vintage typewriters, leafy green plants & a light-up globe along the window. My bedding was black pinstripe with white pillows, & I had hot pink accents everywhere: throws, pillows & lampshades. The décor was really simple but the colour scheme really pulled everything together. I just LOVE a black & white palette, because you can add any colour to it & it totally pops.
When I lived in Melbourne, all our furniture was white. I probably wouldn’t do that again, because I like to break it up with black & other colours, but it suited the place we were in (which had enormous windows & insane views). Some would say all white furniture is impractical (they are right), but you can get around it by being a) nuts & b) careful, both of which I generally am. Plus, I don’t have children, which makes it an okay choice for me…
A blackboard wall… Elaborate wallpaper… Vintage typewriters… Crushed cups for serving teeny tiny drinks… Lots of light… Stacks of books… A photobooth machine (ohmygodyes)... Big mirrors… Chandeliers… A ridiculously oversized walk-in wardrobe… Hot pink & white stripes… Big type & letters… This sofa... Collections of stationery… Bedazzled skulls (!!!)... High bookshelves… Jewelled pillows… Enormous windows… & a super-cute puppy for me to snuggle with. I would also like to be kissed awake every morning, & maybe for there to be an indoor lake with sparkly swanboats floating on it. Can we make that happen?!
How would your ideal home look? What colours would you paint it & what features would it have? Would it have a slumber party room? A secret mad science-type laboratory? A huge treehouse out the back? A trampoline room?
(Images: 
)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [60] Tags: aesthetic,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Stop Complaining
[ 24 August 2009, 08:13 ]
Wise words… wise words.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [32] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Fabulous.
[ 12 August 2009, 14:03 ]
“I’m just a bubble out of a champagne bottle!” chirps fitness guru Richard Simmons. Best known for prancing about in tank tops & short shorts, Simmons effectively counsels the obese & has produced dozens of best-selling exercise videos.
“When I wake up in the morning, it’s like the red curtain goes up… I twirl around the room. I thank God for the day. I fluff my hair & yell, ‘GO GET ‘EM, RICHARD!’”
(Source)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [36] Tags: inspiration,
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quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!2009: Where Are You At?
[ 10 August 2009, 11:55 ]
Okay. I don’t mean to freak anyone out, but 2009 is already half-way done. I don’t know how this is possible, but it is. There are only four & a half months left in the year, so it seems like as good a time as any to do un petit review of the year thus far, & set some new goals & intentions.
It’s so easy to get swept away with work & projects & new loves that we often find ourselves scrambling to keep up & feeling kind of aimless. Having a fresh new direction & a definite vision of what you want will inject your life with purpose & excitement once more!
If you have no clue where to begin, here are some ideas…
Think about what has gone well this year. What are you happy with? What has been successful — & how did it come to fruition? What have your greatest achievements been so far?
Think about what could have been improved upon. Could you have tried harder in a couple of areas? Of the things that didn’t go well, what could you have done to change the outcome of that situation? If you had taken 100% responsibility at the time, do you think things would have played out differently?
What were your goals at the start of the year? How are they going? Are they 20%, 50% or 100% completed? If they’re not checked off yet, why not? (Don’t be afraid to admit they’re no longer important to you if that’s the case.) If they’re still things you want to make happen, what could you do to speed up your progress? Who could you ask for help? How can you break up the goal into manageable chunks to make it easier to achieve?
When you look at the people around you, what have they achieved that you’d like to do too? How can you make that happen? Can you ask them for assistance or advice?
How are your finances looking? Are you making as much money as you want? Are you saving any money or just spending it as soon as you get it? Should you ask for a raise, start a savings account, cancel your credit card, stop obsessively trawling eBay… ?!
Are you happy with your career? Do you feel stuck? If so, why? How could you alter that? Is it time for something new? How can you improve your situation? Where could you grow? How could you branch out?
What do you do with your spare time? Are you constantly playing catch-up & running errands with no time to relax & just do nothing? Is there a class you want to take? When was the last time you took a holiday? Are you in control of your free time or is someone else?
How does your body feel? How healthy are you? What are you eating? Do you exercise? Are you drinking or smoking more than you’d like? Do you need a spa day? What positive steps can you take towards a lifestyle you feel happier about?
Are you getting along with the people around you? How are things between you & your lover? Your workmates? Your kids? Do you ever see your best friend? Do you ever get personal emails?
How about you? How do you feel about the person you’re becoming? How’s your personal integrity? What are the attributes you hold in high esteem? Are you embodying them? What can you change? What can you begin accepting?
Are you involved in your community? How are you helping the people around you? Do you know your neighbours? Do you support your local businesses? What could you do to improve the lives of people in your immediate vicinity?
These were my intentions at the start of the year. Here are my intentions for the rest of 2009.
Be… More outgoing More loving of myself & others Less fearful More open More giving Go to yoga every Monday Accept more social invitations Set work-hours & stick to them! Save more money Communicate more with the people I love Strengthen my friendships Be brave Work harder Also, take a holiday Be more charming (make the effort) Get my own place in NYC (read: stop sub-leasing) ...& honestly, I need to learn how to use my camera (I have had it for three years now & I still have no idea what I’m doing with it).
How about you?
My suggestion would be to write down the things you want to achieve & put it somewhere prominent. Stick it to your front door or your monitor, slide it into the clear sleeve in your wallet, or make a big graphic image of it & set it as your desktop wallpaper.
If 2009 hasn’t been too wonderful for you so far, this is your opportunity to turn it all around. Blank slate. Here’s to raging successes, never-ending excitement & lots of love!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [58] Tags: inspiration,
life,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!The Triumph Of Magic Over The Brute
[ 5 August 2009, 10:00 ]
Excerpts from an interview with Vladimir Nabokov (1971).
Q: What do you do to prepare yourself for the ordeals of life?
A: Shave every morning before bath and breakfast so as to be ready to fly far at short notice.
Q: What are the literary virtues you seek to attain— and how?
A: Mustering the best words, with every available lexical, associative, and rhythmic assistance, to express as closely as possible what one wants to express.
Q: What is your position in the world of letters?
A: Jolly good view from up here.
Q: What struggles these days for pride of place in your mind?
A: Meadows. A meadow with Scarce Heath butterflies in North Russia, another with Grinnell’s Blue in Southern California. That sort of thing.
Q: What are your views about man’s upward climb from slime?
A: A truly remarkable performance. Pity, though, that some of the slime still sticks to drugged brains.
Q: What kinds of power do you favor, and which do you oppose?
A: To play safe, I prefer to accept only one type of power: the power of art over trash, the triumph of magic over the brute.
Q: What are the large issues that you can’t get interested in, and what are you most concerned with?
A: The larger the issue the less it interests me. Some of my best concerns are microscopic patches of color.
...& that, my friends, is why Vladimir Nabokov has a permanent place on my list of all-time icons.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [26] Tags: inspiration,
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quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!50 Things Every Girl Should Do In Her Lifetime: Part One
[ 4 August 2009, 22:07 ]
I’ve never seen that movie The Bucket List, but was reading about it the other day. The crux of it is this: two elderly men, one of whom is terminally ill, decide to make a list of things they want to achieve before they die. The list reads:
1. Witness something truly majestic
2. Help a complete stranger for the common good
3. Laugh till I cry
4. Drive a Shelby Mustang
5. Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
6. Get a tattoo
7. Skydiving
8. Visit Stonehenge
9. Spend a week at the Louvre
10. See Rome
11. Dinner at La Chevre d’Or
12. See the Pyramids
13. Get back in touch
14. Visit Taj Mahal, India
15. Hong Kong
16. Victoria Falls
17. Serengeti
18. Ride the Great Wall of China
It got me thinking about things that women, specifically, should do in their lifetime. Obviously we all have different priorities — “having a baby” certainly isn’t a universal goal, so it isn’t included here. This is mostly a collection of fun, life-enhancing things that I think everyone should experience.
The list is split into two pieces, with the second part coming soon! I’d love to hear what you think of this list — how many of the items can you check off already? Plenty of these are things I have yet to complete myself, especially number 37!
50. Ride on the back of a motorcycle
When I was about 15 & started dating, my father made me promise never to get on the back of a boy’s motorcycle. I obeyed him, & I’m glad I did. But if, by chance, you meet someone who actually knows how to ride — & is not some inexperienced teenager trying to impress/kill you — & he or she asks you if you want to sit on the back, SAY YES. I had my first motorcycle experience a little while ago & it was an AMAZING feeling. There is really nothing like it. God, it is fun. I am now totally obsessed with it. Sitting on the back of my boyfriend’s motorcycle is my new favourite thing.
49. Date someone who has visible tattoos
Not only because tattoos are hot — which they are — but because it’s eye-opening. It depends on where you live, of course, & some places are more accepting than others, but society tends to treat those with tattoos differently, & if you’re not tattooed yourself, you’ll never really understand that. It’ll give you a realistic impression of what it’s like to be discriminated against on the basis of how you look, & if, for example, you’re a straight white girl living in New Zealand, that might not be something you really have any experience with.
48. Buy a toolkit & learn how to use the things in it
Which is not to say that you need to become plumber extraordinaire, but just that it’s rad to be able to fix your own problems without calling on some dude to help you. Especially since sometimes, there is no dude to be had. You should also learn how to change a tyre, because one day, you’ll really, really wish you knew!
47. Travel alone
It’s safer to do this in some places than others, but travelling alone really shows you what you’re made of. They say travelling with your lover is a good way to work out how compatible the two of you really are, & similarly, travelling by yourself is a great way to learn about who you really are. How do you cope with unexpected stress? How are your interpersonal skills? How outgoing are you? You will get a major wake-up call as to the real crux of your character — which is invaluable.
46. Spend a day at the best spa you can afford
Yep, you might have to save up to do it — most of us do! But if you put aside a little bit of money every week, & maybe hold off on an accessory splurge, soon you’ll have enough to spend a day in the complete lap of luxury. & oh, is it ever worth it! Massages, facials, body scrubs & all kinds of weird but tantalizing treatments could be yours! You’ll walk out of there feeling like a million bucks. It’s an extravagance worth indulging in.
45. Drive quickly
Dangerous? Yes. Stupid? Yes. Totally awesome fun? Yes. My father is an unrepentant speed-demon, & I learned the pleasures of having all the blood sucked to the back of your brain early! I wouldn’t call myself an adrenaline junkie by any stretch of the imagination, but there is really something quite magnificent about going very, very quickly in a car. Mmmm, danger! But — as has been drawn to my attention — do it somewhere you’re supposed to, like a race track!
44. Date someone older than you
...Because the amount you’ll learn from them is astronomical — & you will teach them a lot, too. Honestly, you will probably learn plenty from all of your lovers, regardless of their age, but dating someone who is significantly older than you (5+ years, I’d say) is a real eye-opener. Usually they’ve been around long enough that they’ll call you on your sh!t — which can be a refreshing wake-up call for us entitled girls who are used to dating sycophants! If you never hear the truth about yourself, how can you grow? Right? & it’s great to be with a man who’ll take the lead for a change; it gives us overachievers & control freaks a welcome (& often much-needed) respite!
43. Date someone younger than you
...Because even though they might infuriate you with their seemingly immature ways, again, you’ll both gain plenty from the experience. You’ll (hopefully) learn to be more patient, tolerant & understanding — & maybe you’ll even remember what it’s like to be that age, which will give you an excellent reality check. Additionally, they’ll benefit from your experience & the wisdom (!) of your years. The plan is for you to both leave the relationship feeling enriched & more well-rounded than before. (Fingers crossed on that one!)
42. Live in a foreign country
If you ever want to feel the satisfaction of having done something really tricky — something a lot of people never even attempt — pack your bags & move to a different country. It sounds simple in theory (pack bags, get on plane, find apartment, get job) but it is full of ridiculous obstacles & hurdles, the likes of which you have never even considered before. Even moving from New Zealand to Australia is pretty intense, let alone moving from America to Russia or from Poland to Japan. People who manage to do those things have my eternal respect! There is almost nothing that will make you feel more bold & proud of yourself. If you can do that, baby, you can do anything.
41. Have a romance with someone who doesn’t speak English
I don’t actually have any personal experience with this one — it just sounds really romantic & magical. I don’t know how you would communicate — voracious eyebrow wiggling? Extreme, bordering-on-violent gesticulation? — but the concept sounds marvellous. Have any of you done this? How does it work?! Curious minds want to know!
40. Meet one of your idols
There’s no telling how it will go — maybe it will be incredible, maybe it will be disappointing — but it will remind you that everyone is human. For some reason, realising that the people you admire are just as human as your best friend or the milkman is very empowering. After all, the people who do fantastic, amazing things are just the same as you or I — which can give you the boost you need to make great things happen too.
39. Do something your friends don’t approve of
As wonderful as our friends are, they don’t always know what is best for us. Only you know that for yourself. While they may wheedle, cajole & pester you about things, your life is your own. What you end up doing against their advice might be a huge mistake, but that’s okay too! You are entitled to live however you want, & it’s really only through making mistakes that we learn how to do things properly anyway!
38. Delve into your personal psychology
Don’t be afraid of who you are & where you come from. Take stock of it. Think about your past & recognise what has shaped you into the person you are today, because it will help you understand yourself better. It will give you insight into why you make the choices you do, why you react in a certain way to various things, & give you clues as to how you can grow up & move forward. Otherwise you might find yourself stuck in the same old habits, trying to escape yourself but never quite managing it — which is no way to live. Knowledge is power, after all!
37. Be proud of your smile & your laugh
Hey, we aren’t all Julia Roberts (& yay for that!). Some of us have crooked teeth; some of us have no teeth at all. Some of us laugh like machine guns, while others scream uproariously in a way which makes onlookers stare & gape. But that’s just how you are, & it’s rad! Being happy is wonderful & it would be such a shame not to share that with the world because you’re embarrassed or shy. Just let it go. Smile more. You’ll feel better, & so will everyone around you. Plus, you can contribute to this!
36. Live by yourself
Living by yourself is the ultimate dream of most teenagers, & it’s a truly wonderful day when that all comes to fruition. No one to tell you to turn down your music, to do your dishes, to pick your towel up off the floor… Bliss. No roommates to be considerate of & no closet space needing to be shared — you can spread your cosmetics out everywhere, put your shoes wherever you like & burn all the stinky incense you want. It is the most delightful thing ever!
35. Learn to say no
A lot of us are taught to spare other people’s feelings, & in no other way is this more evident than when someone asks us to do something we don’t want to do. Often we will allow ourselves to go along with it just to avoid an awkward situation or to save the other person from feeling uncomfortable. In the process, we make martyrs of ourselves & chip away at our own self-esteem. It’s important to learn to say NO when people ask us to do things which are not in our best interests. It will free you from unnecessary burdens, prove how much strength you really have, & make you feel really good about yourself.
34. Give time to a cause you believe in
Politics? Religion? The environment? Education? Animal rights? Whatever it is that gets you worked up, don’t just sit around & complain, get involved! Start taking positive, forward-thinking action & see what you can do to help the situation. Raise money, do research, volunteer your time, spread the word — it’ll give you an incredible sense of purpose, & plus, people need your help. If you’ve ever idly considered helping out at a soup kitchen or doing some work at a crisis centre, now’s the time to act on it. Really.
33. Forgive your parents for whatever they did wrong
No one is perfect, & your parents aren’t exempt from that rule. Everyone thinks their parents did a crappy job in one area or another, & some of us are still mad at them for things which happened when we were 5, 10 or 15 years old. The thing is that our parents could only do the best they could with the information they had — which in most cases, was how their parents treated them. Being angry at them for not being Mother or Father Of The Year is a waste of energy & will impact on everything else in your life. Decide to forgive them, & then do whatever it takes to make that happen.
32. Have some photos taken of you that you really like
If for no other reason so that you’ll have a reminder of how smokin’ hot & faaaaabulous you were in your youth!
31. Learn to drive
Even if you have no desire to own a car or really do any driving at all, having the skill is essential. You don’t need to be incredible at it, just take a couple of lessons. You never know what kind of situation you might end up in where you NEED to know how to drive — like if you’re in an emergency & need to get out of there, or your friend needs to go to the hospital urgently. It’s also very freeing to able to hire a car when you go on holiday: you’re no longer at the mercy of public transport or your friends.
30. Become a better public speaker
Just like with driving, even if you have no intention of becoming Tony Robbins, being a good public speaker is a fantastic skill to have under your belt. What if your best friend gets married, or you’re asked to make an important presentation at work? Knowing how to project your voice, look at the audience & stand still makes all the difference, & will stop you from looking terrified (even if you are)!
29. Understand how fortunate you really are
...& be appreciative of it. Life is full of beauty & blessings, & it’s really easy to get sucked down into a hole of misery. If you suspect (or have been told) that you complain a lot, start doing Things I Love Thursday, or keep a gratitude list, or just smile more often! You don’t have to be all unicorn vomit all the time, but training yourself to see the silver lining in a vicious storm cloud is a fantastic skill.
28. Break your destructive patterns
What’s your vice? Bouncing from one codependent relationship to the next? A weekend drug habit? Compulsive shoe shopping? Everyone has something they could improve on, or something they would benefit from removing from their life. Be an adult, recognise what it is, & then get the help you need. Read a book, see a therapist, get clean… Whatever it is, only YOU have the ability to change YOUR life. So change it!
27. Evolve your look & scare yourself (often!)
One thing I’ve noticed, when I take men shopping, is that when I encourage them to buy something a little bit outside of their comfort zone, that is always the thing they end up wearing the most — because it takes them a little bit of courage to put it on in the first place, but it looks so great that the feedback they get is immensely positive. & who doesn’t want to be told they look fantastic? So my point is: don’t wear the same thing from age 15 through to 75. Take chances. Try new things. Buy an intimidating pair of boots, or a sequinned jacket, or a bizarre hat. You’re not stuck — you are changing all the time, & the things you wear are one of the fastest ways of communicating that. So mix it up: find clothing that expresses how you are, & WHO you are, right now!
26. Take a risk & prove the naysayers wrong
This could be anything, from starting ballet lessons at age 30 to deciding to raise your child alone, but all I know is there’s nothing better than overcoming the odds & proving that you DO have what it takes. You will feel so proud of yourself — it will be the start of a beautiful new relationship within, where you recognise your own strength & start to push limits you never would have touched before. People are always going to dislike things about you, think they can tell you what to do & feel they’re owed an explanation for the way you live your life, but you don’t owe anyone anything. Do your damn thing!
25. Fall devastatingly, helplessly, head-over-heels in love
Oh honeypuff. There are no guarantees in life, & while I would love to tell that you’ll get the fairytale ending you’re looking for, that isn’t necessarily true. Love can hurt, & so some people avoid it, or keep themselves guarded, or always have one foot out the door. The thing is that if you don’t take chances, you might miss out on the most incredible thing to ever happen to you — the experience of falling in love with someone who shakes your world up like never before. Even if you’ve been hurt in the past, do everything you can to push past that. Otherwise you’ll never be able to fully give yourself to someone else, & they won’t be able to share all of themselves with you either. Staying true & honest & open, as if it wasn’t reward enough in itself, can unlock a multitude of incredible experiences & show you what real love is all about.
How about you? Do you have a list of things you want to achieve in your lifetime? What do you really want to do?
Stayed tuned for part two!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [131] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Be An Explorer Of The World
[ 25 July 2009, 10:44 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [32] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 22nd July 2009
[ 22 July 2009, 12:01 ]
Wear stacks of silver bracelets & cuffs & channel Kate Lanphear (Style Director of US Elle).
Dry roses by hanging them from your ceiling.
Clean your make-up brushes! Use gentle shampoo & lay them down to dry. Not using brushes to apply your make-up? Start!
Make a photographic collage of all your old lovers & see if you can work out if you have a “type”!
When you’re feeling unpretty, shop for hats, perfume or shoes instead of jeans.
Get a pair of 3d glasses & keep them in your wallet.
Start wearing an equestrian helmet (ModCloth have a great one!).
Buy a bubble machine & set it up in your bedroom.
Get a Neighborhoodie made.
Wear silver glitter hairspray!
Run yourself a bath full of delicious bubbles & read a book.
Wear false eyelashes to the supermarket.
Have an affair with someone wildly inappropriate.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [66] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!forty-five thoughts for my daughter and my virtual daughters
[ 18 July 2009, 19:14 ]
forty-five thoughts for my daughter and my virtual daughters
By Francesca Lia Block.
i always believed if i had blond hair, pixie face
big breasts
everything would be all right
not realizing that culturally idolized beauty
is not only foolproof
but potentially dangerousif you believe in your own unconventional beauty
when you are young
you will accomplish twice as much and suffer half soturn off lightbulbs and light a candle
walk don’t drive
plant a tree
wear sunscreen
dancing is an antidepressant
kindness is the new status symbol
every day please try to eat something green
and something orange
that grow out of the groundtell me how mad you are
that your father and i parted
i will always listen
though i can’t ever take away the painexpectations are for what you yourself create
they rarely work when applied to others
turn off the television
tv is a depressant
yoga is an antidepressant
don’t feel guilty about wanting pretty things
they would not be so alluring
if you weren’t supposed to want them
just don’t value them over compassionuse your words even when you are a grown-up
and people no longer think it is entirely acceptable
when you say, that hurt my feelingsif you can digest chocolate eat it sometimes
same goes for ice cream
(i don’t really need to tell you those things do i?)do your homework because it is part of the game but
don’t spend too much time worrying about grades
fall in love with someone kind who loves your body
and your mindif you have a dream that won’t let you go, that
tickles your solar plexus, heed itturn dark feelings into paintings or poetry
or dancingmusic is a kind of food
if you are sad talk to a happy woman who loves you
it will always helpmove your body when you are sad or angry
avoid the following:
genetically modified ingredients
parabens
sodium lauryl sulfate
mercury in certain fish
neurotic thoughts about food
(is that a contradiction?)love your curls though they tangle
your pale skin though it can burn in the sun
your nose though it is broader than some
your sturdy legs and feetforget barbie she does not possess imagination
remember you are a botticelli angel
the planet we live on is perfection
love her like a goddess
love yourself as her daughter
there is a planet full of different kinds of beauty
the idea that only one type of woman is beautiful
is blasphemyof everything i brought to the world in these
forty-five years
you and your brother are by far the most astoundingbecause of this i will always love your father
matter never vanishes, only changes
remember that when someone you love dies
your round head on my breast when you were born
is the memory
i will keep with me when i leave this bodywhen i am gone i will still be near you
this is how i know: when you were born
it was not a meeting
but a reunion
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [77] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 16 July 2009, 13:15 ]
Okay, we’re doing something a little different today! Je vous présente... An alphabet of lurve! An A to Z of things which make me smile, laugh or just feel good in general. Alright, here we go!
A is for… Alexander McQueen. He is my favourite designer bar none. Look at this & tell me he is not the greatest. I see a pair of those in my future. Oh yes I do.
B is for… books. I just made a huge Amazon order & now I am all giddy waiting for it to arrive. On their way are books on subjects ranging from sex astrology to colour theory to NLP & neuroscience. I am so excited, YAY.
C is for… Courtney Love. She was a huge inspiration to me as a teenage girl — I have said repeatedly that if you were hooked into the Courtney Love thing at a young age, it never really leaves you, & I am convinced that that is one of Life’s Golden Truths. But right now I mostly love her for following me on Twitter, sending me cute delirious direct messages & this. Awww.
D is for… the Dish. Yep, still my favourite person, still very jumpable, still makes me laugh, still rocks my world.
E is for… evil food. Like Frito Pie. I discovered Frito Pie last night. Essentially, you tear open a packet of Fritos (corn chips), then pour chilli, cheese, sour cream & jalapenos on top. It sounds so vile, I know, but it is completely amazing. Ahhhhh!
F is for… bunches of flowers. I finally took full possession of International Playgirl HQ on Monday & so I have been Galafying it ever since. One of the easiest ways to make it more “me” was to buy big bunches of white & pink roses, as well as fuchsia lilies. So pretty.
G is for… getting dressed up. I’m going out for dinner tonight (Momofuku Ko)! I am going to wear my new shoes (which have not yet made their debut) & a frilly dress & I will do my very best to take an outfit photo!
H is for… Hank. He is so cute, I want to eat his face.
I is for… interns! Yesterday I hired myself an assistant who my psychic told me about months ago… Eerie! She is adorable, wears great shoes & managed to be charming even while a junkie hit on us in the middle of our meeting. Sehr klasse! She starts on Tuesday. Radvegas.
J is for… Jay-Z. I love him. That is all.
K is for… kissing. Favourite activity? Yes. Yes. Yes.
L is for… lingerie! Imagine my delight to receive a parcel from Loulou Loves You full of beautiful frillies! She sent me the Love bra & the Love knickers (the first pair), both in turquoise & pink. So beautiful, they fit like a dream & make me feel all luxurious. I want her to be my official underthing supplier! Yum yum!
M is for… motorcycles. We have been out riding a lot in the past 7 days & I really do love it ever so much.
N is for… new jobs! I recently signed on as ChinaShop‘s Fashion Curator — which is a fancy way of saying Fashion Editor — & am having so much fun with it! It’s rad to have a new project & to write in a different style; good for the brain! Subscribe to their RSS so that you know when my new pieces go live. I’ll be writing there two or three times a week.
O is for… old friends & running into them when you least expect it!
P is for… P-Money. Especially this song. I got an email from my friend Helen the other day which said, “This song makes me think of new zealand summers. And how we should be chilling driving around eastbourne in a car with no top. xxx” Cute! You can’t be unhappy listening to this track!
Q is for… quirky people. Like Meg. Hee! But they make life more interesting, don’t they?
R is for… ridiculous phrases! Cynthia Kaboom coined a new one on Twitter the other day — “Sad Trombones Everywhere” for bummer days! STE for short…
S is for… scotch. Hello scotch, I like you so much, especially with ginger ale.
T is for… Tarina Tarantino. She makes the best jewellery on the planet. Maybe even in the galaxy. (Gala xy!) I just bought a whole bunch of it, I can’t wait to be a blinding, sparkling, flashing danger to oncoming traffic!
U is for… unicorns! (Thanks Schmooz!) I am so looking forward to getting my unicorn tattoo, too! (& that photo was too hilarious not to include!)
V is for… Vegas! The other day I re-watched the video Nubby & I made of our trip to Las Vegas last September & cracked up. We had such a good time! I’m going back in August & October (& hopefully taking Nubs with me, too!) & can’t wait. It is one of my favourite places of all time, which is so funny, because it never ever appealed to me until I actually got there.
W is for… rad web design. Star did such a great job on iCiNG, & Damian Rebman did such amazing things with Love Letter To The Universe! It seems so silly but putting a brand new beautiful face on your web projects really does make you feel good, more inspired & more productive!
X is for… xoxoxoxox.
Y is for… you. YES I DO. MWAH. Also, Yoko Ono for this tweet alone…
“I would like to see a sky vending machine on every corner of the street instead of the coke machine. We need more skies than coke.”
Z is for… zzZzzZzZzzzzz. I love to sleep! Especially sandwiched between my two favourite boys (that would be the Dish & Hank, of course!).
Homework tasks for nonpareils, in order of decreasing difficulty:
Make your own love alphabet; post it.
Write a standard Things I Love Thursday list; post it.
Sit really still & think about ten things you’re really happy about.
Smile at the next person you see.
Stay beautiful.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [90] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Inspiration July 2009
[ 14 July 2009, 14:52 ]
Style is not just what you wear. It’s what you do & how you do it.
I’m currently being inspired by… Pink & white roses, crystals, taxidermy, patterned wallpaper, bold square eyeglasses, big sparkly hearts, feathers, sequinned dresses, breakfast dates, neon eye-makeup, platform ankle boots, ruffles, sigils, Betsey Johnson dresses, amethyst pink, metal flake, skull rings on tattooed fingers, false eyelashes, long bare legs, flirtatious skirts, waking up in the sunlight, patent leather boots, floral everything, push-up bras, fireflies, witches, T.O.P.Y., turquoise knickers, glittery eyes, headdresses, gypsy caravans, torn clothing, wolf girls, tinted lipgloss, hard work, vintage motorcycles, thigh high stockings, wide-eyed wonder, loving everyone, kissing, white bunnies, day-glo mandalas, dresses which look like flowers, hypercolour, milkshakes, wigpees, mixtapes, magic & metaphysics, bedtime portraits.
This has resulted in… Wearing dresses almost 24/7, smelling like chocolate perfume & cocoa butter, buying big bunches of pink roses & lilies for International Playgirl HQ, stocking up on hypercoloured eye pencils, displaying all my sparkly rings in a pāua shell, hanging a sequinned dress on the wall opposite my bed, buying jewellery to remind me of new intentions, wearing bunny slippers, coming up with any excuse to use neon pink tape, sleeping with six pillows, framing my eyes with pink & silver glitter, listening to Daedelus & Nina Simone, curling my eyelashes, setting my hair with honeysuckle-scented hairspray, swooning, paying attention & being present & feeling blissful, making more of an effort to be loving & open & authentic.
Photos came from…
What’s inspiring you at the moment — & how is it affecting your life?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [83] Tags: aesthetic,
gala,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Love & Sequins One-Day SALE!
[ 9 July 2009, 08:30 ]
Say what?! OUI, it is true! Today ONLY, I’m having an enormous (& fabulous!) sale on the Love & Sequins series!
Love & Sequins is my handbook on being a love letter to the universe, delivered in scrumptious, sensational monthly installments. As well as receiving the text (at 10,000 words every month, it’s a good read!), I also read each chapter aloud & send it to you as an MP3 — perfect for listening to on the bus or when you’re all tucked into bed at night!
It’s a rad way to invest in yourself, or even your best friend (just email me about it!)... if I do say so myself!
HEY BIG-SPENDER! A year-long subscription to Love & Sequins bought all at once is usually $84, making it $7 a month. If you buy TODAY, I’ll knock the price down to $60 — only $5 a month! Incroyable! That’s a saving of $24, effectively giving you three (& a half!) chapters for NOTHIN’!
LITTLE BITES OF DELICIOUSNESS! If you’re more of a pick-&-choose kinda kid, today ONLY, individual chapters are a mere $9 each! Less than the price of a pack of cigarettes in New York City & much, much better for you! You’ll save $4 on each one — aaaaaaaamazing! — & you can pick up the installments you missed for a fab price!
Love & Sequins #1: LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF: Self-adoration, manifesting your ideal persona, channelling your inner Marie Antoinette & everything in between!
“I’m a bit older than a lot of your readers (ie 40!), but I still found it really releveant. And I believe this type of thing should be compulsory reading/listening for teenagers (I’m trying to word this without sounding/feeling 1200 years old … hmm!) Maybe you could create your own school … Galaverse High ?? With a pink sparkly uniform and a unicorn coat of arms. Seriously though, I think this sort of thing is way more beneficial than a geography or a maths lesson. After all, isn’t school meant to prepare you for life?” — K.
“If I could put to words how much I love and adore this podcast, I would, but nuff said I completely fail at that. It’s just mind-blowingly, earth-shatteringly,toe-ticklingly (why yes, these are all actual words) cute and awesome, and on top of that so relevant! So important! I think absolutely everyone should hear this, Galaverse High doesnt sound bad at all!” — J.
Love & Sequins #2: THE SMART GIRL’S GUIDE TO BUSINESS — Taking control of your life, finding your passion, loving what you do & making mad bling!
“Thankyou so much for your inspiration. it really gave me the kick up the bum that I needed. I was always afraid to take a creative income path, for fear that my talent was lacking. I still have these insecurities, but I realise that right now, while I’m young, enthusiastic and motivated is the very best time to give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll try something different. if it is a success, then maybe it will give me the confidence to try some other more innovative ideas.” — V.
“I finally developed the balls to register as self-employed this week and quite by chance have been offered my first self-employed gig. I teach adults, literacy and numeracy. So this time around I’ll be teaching young adults with learning difficulities, the basic literacy they’ll need to get them by in life generally and in work. But it has made me realise that anything is possible… I’m planning to keep on some employed work to pay the bills. But I’m planning to expand into online tutoring, proofreading and writing. I intend to be completely self-employed eventually. So thanks. Wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for that podcast. They’re worth their weight in gold.” — A.
Love & Sequins #3: LOVE, SEX, THE GALAXY & EVERYTHING — From falling in love to co-habitation, & all the beauty & madness contained within!
“Gala, I loved this one! I listened to it as soon as you sent it. I’ve always been kind of a cynic when it comes to love, but I think I’m ready to let my guard down and take the plunge. The ‘love self-evaluation’ and ‘figuring out what you want from a partner’ parts stood out the most to me, and I’m definitely going to take the time to write and reflect on these areas. Thank you so much!” — D.
“This was supermegaawesome good! I really like the way it’s all starting to sounds more natural… But I like the way it sort of flows and sounds more natural… Like you’re whispering good advice in my ear! And also I was walking my dog while listening to this and 3 or 4 times I just burst out laughing at some of the things you said; a lot of strange looks! Please keep this up, they’re all super good and I really do owe a lot to you!” — V.
You get the message right?!
TODAY ONLY!
P.S. LINKS HAVE BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE THE SALE IS OVER! Mwah! Thanks so much for your support!
Okay, now back to your regularly-scheduled programming!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [36] Tags: consumption,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
podcast Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Revolution Pee-Wee Style Now!
[ 6 July 2009, 20:39 ]
I recently became aware that Tuesday the 28th of July is Paul Reubens Day! Oh the excitement! Paul Reubens is best known for the creation of his character Pee-Wee Herman. Well, that & being arrested for getting a little frisky in public!
Growing up in New Zealand, I missed out on the phenomenon that was Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, but luckily I managed to see the film Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure as a young child, which sparked a life-long love affair with the little lunatic! The movie was Tim Burton’s first feature-length film, & if you haven’t seen it, you should!
The show ended years ago, but there is light at the end of the tunnel…
“Paul Reubens confirmed in a January 2009 interview with Swindle magazine that there are indeed negotiations under way for the Pee-Wee Herman stage show to return. This would take place in either Las Vegas or New York.” (Wikipedia)
Paul Reubens Day happens in San Francisco every year, but I think it should be spread worldwide & brought to the global consciousness, don’t you? Who better to do that than an enthusiastic troupe of nonpareils? I ask you!
How can you celebrate Paul Reubens Day?
Design an elaborate breakfast-making machine…
Go to a drive-in movie…
Learn rad bicycle tricks…
Wear a red bow-tie…
Brush your teeth with a really big toothbrush…
Save puppies from a burning pet shop…
Visit Warner Brothers studios…
Go to the Alamo…
Draw on a widow’s peak…
Wear bunny slippers…
Hang out with some bikers...
“I say we kill him!” (YEAH!)
“I say we hang him, THEN we kill him!” (YEAH!)
“I say we scalp him!” (YEAH!) “Then we tattoo him!” (YEAH!) “THEN we hang him!” (YEAH!) “& THEN we kill him!” (YEAH!)
“I say we let him go!” (NO!)
Dance on a table in a bar…
Eat a really big bowl of cereal…
Dream about winning the Tour de France…
Have a bicycle race…
Go to a fortune teller…
Cut the tags off your mattress…
Hitch a ride with a truck driver…
Watch Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure…
Learn a magic trick…
Go to an adult theatre… (cough cough)
Or, OF COURSE, you could dress up in tribute & go out on the town!
I like to call this look The Evil Librarian. Brandish a long wooden ruler menacingly & practice your shushing!
Perfect for a low-key day: shopping for magic tricks, polishing your bicycle & fending off potential suitors by telling them you’re a loner… a rebel.
If I wore red, I would wear this outfit every day. Whattup britches?!
Pee-Wee Herman? Liza Minnelli? Pee-Wee Minelli? Liza Herman? Whatever you like. It’s all accepted here!
However you decide to celebrate Paul Reubens Day, I hope you have a wonderful day!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [57] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Love & Sequins #3 Is Live!
[ 1 July 2009, 14:44 ]
Bonjour, bonjour!
It is with great delight that I announce the third installment of Love & Sequins: Making Magic Happen, my monthly series all about being a love letter to the universe. It is available now! Right now! I’m sitting here zapping hundreds of digital copies of it all over the world at this very instant!
This month, the chapter is LOVE, SEX, THE GALAXY & EVERYTHING — From falling in love to co-habitation, & all the beauty & madness contained within!
It’s all very timely, since I have been through so much romantic upheaval in the last year, from processing long-term break-ups to developing my international playgirl style & flitting around having intercontinental love affairs — & am currently deeply smitten by a certain Dish! So I have really been from one end to the other & all the way back again. Needless to say, I have given this subject some deep thought recently!
Love & Sequins #3 is bursting with hints, tricks & tips on all things love-related, from how to find your ideal sweetheart to learning your own secret love language. Written in the thick of a tumultuous New York summer from the air-conditioned bliss of my favourite coffeeshop, & recorded on the Dish’s bed with Hank asleep beside me, there are lots of love stories, shining examples of what NOT to do & plenty of hope for lovelorn, wide-eyed dreamers!
Single issues are $12 each. Alternatively you can subscribe monthly for $10 (& I’ll send you the ones you’ve missed!), or buy the whole lot at $7 a pop!
If you haven’t heard the other two, you pick up back issues any time!
Love & Sequins #1: LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF — Self-adoration, manifesting your ideal persona, channelling your inner Marie Antoinette & everything in between!
Love & Sequins #2: THE SMART GIRL’S GUIDE TO BUSINESS — Taking control of your life, finding your passion, loving what you do & making mad bling!
As always my star-kissed darlings, thank you so much for your support & encouragement with the Love & Sequins project! It means more to me than you could ever know. MWAH!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [53] Tags: consumption,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Behind The Scenes Of A Top Secret Project!
[ 25 June 2009, 15:39 ]
Waiting for make-up.
On Monday night, I was part of a top secret Style Coalition project at DEX Studios. I can’t tell you what it was all about yet, but I can show you some behind-the-scenes shots to tide you over!
HOW DO YOU LIKE MY FEATHERED HEADDRESS?!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MEGA smooches, kisses, love & undying adoration to Tarina Tarantino for letting me borrow it! I really didn’t want to take it back, it’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. Would be bellissimo to wear grocery shopping, walking the dog or ice-skating… Don’t you think?
Everyone at DEX did an amazing job, from the make-up artists to the hairstylists to the photographers — they were such a pleasure to spend time with!
Stay tuned for more details on our top secret project! Can’t wait to show you more!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [48] Tags: daily outfit,
gala,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Your Life As Haiku
[ 23 June 2009, 10:33 ]
We did this last year when I first got to New York, & I thought it was time to revisit it! Did you participate last time? What did you say?
Back in 2008, one of mine was…
I love this city.
We wake up early to roam,
with hair like wild vines.
These days, it would go more like…
There’s nothing like a
vintage bowler hat to make
you feel like Liza.
Last night I wore huge feathers
atop my noggin. It was
terrifically rad.
(Oh, photos to come!)
If he is The Dish,
am I The Spoon? As in, “The
Dish ran away with…”?!
Even after all
the madness, New York is still
my version of bliss.
How about you?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [67] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Mad Hatter's Day
[ 10 June 2009, 12:07 ]
Depending on where you live (& the way you read dates), Mad Hatter’s Day can either be June the 10th or October the 6th. Well, June 10th is today, so I say we celebrate it now! (There’s no reason why we can’t go back for a repeat performance in October — nor do you really need an excuse to wear a magnificent mantle.)
So what’s the deal with Mad Hatter’s Day? Well, it’s a celebration of the character from Alice In Wonderland, & you can do this in a number of ways, but the easiest thing to do is wear a hat.
Hats hats hats. I love my hats. My love affair with hats began very early, & started with my mother, who always said, “If you want someone to remember you, wear a hat”. (Perhaps I took that a step further with my candy-coloured tresses, hmm?) I adore seeing someone in the street in a hat, & wish more people would wear them. They are so incredibly chic & fabulous.
How can you work a hat into your outfit? Firstly, don’t be intimidated. Remember that your choice of head covering doesn’t have to be a floppy sunhat with a diameter of 100 centimetres (um, 40 inches)! You can go minimal with a beanie or snood (pin something a little sparkly to it to glam it up!), tie a vintage scarf around your noggin or affix an adorned slide to the side of your noodle!
Of course, if you do have a great hat, this is the perfect day to wear it, but don’t feel that you have to go the whole millinery hog. If you work customer service & have a headset on all day, a wonderful bonnet is going to be quite inconvenient. Just work with what you’ve got!
If you don’t have a hat, a plain headband will do in a pinch as you can stick virtually anything to it. A toy car? A gift bow? A firecracker? Use your imagination & be bold! Another place to look is in your boxes of Christmas ornaments — not the baubles, I’m thinking more like fake birds. Often they have clips on the bottom of them, so you can attach them to your hair with ease (but be careful when you take them out because the teeth are usually serrated)!
There are so many headbands around at the moment that you can totally take your pick. I have a huge selection, mostly bought from Forever 21, where they run around $2-$6 apiece. They’re adorned with all sorts of things, from flowers to butterflies to enormous grosgrain bows & they top off an outfit brilliantly. There are also faux-flower hair clips everywhere, which you can just slide into your hair at an angle for super style points.
Channel Isabella Blow (above left). She was known for her outrageous collection of hats & wore them with incredible style. She was quoted as saying that she liked wearing them primarily because they helped keep people away!
When she sported antlers to a lunch with Nicholas Coleridge, he reasonably inquired: “How are you going to eat with those on?” “Nicholas,” she replied to her then boss, “that is of no concern to me whatsoever.”
Here are a few ways that some stylish girls around the globe celebrated Mad Hatter’s Day…
On Mad Hatter’s Day, Isobel Oval took her dachshund (Dahl) for a walk, played the drums for a couple of hours & danced around her bedroom to old Hole records. She finished the day up at her favourite bar, where she sat with her boots up on the counter & kicked several boys asses at darts.
Lauryn met her best friend in a playground for a mad tea-party. They ate peach cobbler, hung upside down from tree branches & whistled show-tunes while swinging as high as they could.
Jane wore small flower hair-clips to a party in her neighbour’s garden. When she got sick of her neighbour’s husband hitting on her, she took off her shoes & sat in the fountain for an hour.
Audrey had intense cabin fever from sitting inside the house painting for 4 days straight — so she got gussied up & walked around the botanic gardens in the rain, while listening to Elliott Smith.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [57] Tags: aesthetic,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Charles Bukowski
[ 7 June 2009, 17:15 ]
nobody can save you but
yourself.
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
situations.
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
force
to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly
inside.
nobody can save you but
yourself
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don’t, don’t, don’t.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
being?
do you want to experience
death before death?
nobody can save you but
yourself
and you’re worth saving.
it’s a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.
think about it.
think about saving your self.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [68] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Very Definitely Not Dinner & A Movie
[ 3 June 2009, 23:47 ]
Dating, oh dating. You are such a strange phenomenon, so amazing & simultaneously horrifying. Who knows where the night will begin or where it could all lead? But here’s the kicker — dinner & a movie is totally played out. You’re interesting, they’re interesting — surely that’s not the best you can come up with! So here, for your romantic pleasure, are a list of 50 alternative ideas to try.
Wake up at 4am & watch the sunrise together
Maybe not first date material, but perhaps third or fourth. What could be better than sitting close on a rooftop somewhere, talking & laughing & watching the sun come up? Take a flask of hot coffee for extra points.
Have an extravagant brunch at 8am
Get dressed up & do breakfast properly. Fabulous pancakes, decadent waffles, poached eggs & the best hollandaise. Boutique hotels often do a brilliant brunch, but a bit of surreptitious googling should set you on the right track. Thick white linen napkins first thing in the morning are a magnificent way to start the day — & then you can either go your separate ways, or take a walk.
Go to an art gallery on a Saturday afternoon
You’ll learn a lot about the person you’re standing next to if you go & check out art together. Plus it gives you something so much more stimulating to talk about than the last episode of Lost. (Sorry, Lost fans…)
Bring half an evening
Like a movie (or movie tickets), some food or a drink. You get the opportunity to impress your crush with your superior taste while also finding out more about them. You don’t have to meet at someone’s house, either — a park bench, good picnic spot or even town square could work too.
The double-Netflix date
For those of you not in America, Netflix is an on-demand DVD rental service that the entire country seems to have a subscription to. Sorry to be so geographically-specific, but “double-Netflix” rolls off the tongue a little better than, “Let’s just each bring a movie & subject one another to our extremely questionable taste”!
The Case Of The Mystery Band
Grab a copy of your local newspaper or magazine, close your eyes, run your finger over the “live music” section & choose a band neither of you have ever heard of to go & see. It could be amazing; it could be completely hellish — you won’t know until you go! But even if it’s shocking, it’s definitely a bonding experience, & maybe even something to tell the children, eh?
Make a fort
Enough said.
Bring your favourite book & read the first chapter aloud
Again, this says a lot about a person. Will they bring The Witches? Lolita? The 120 Days Of Sodom? I can barely stand the suspense…
Mix CD trade
Are mix CDs antiquated? Maybe you could just make one another a playlist on your iPod or something… Either way, sharing & discussing music is one of the world’s great, little-known aphrodisiacs. Truth. (Unless all they listen to is Richard Marx. Damn.)
Do something neither of you have done before
Pottery class? Swing dancing lessons? Hire a moped & drive out into the country? Who knows, but it’s nice to share an experience that is new to both of you!
Random restaurant date
Flip open the yellow pages to ‘R’ for ‘Restaurants’, close your eyes & pick a place to eat at. Just like the mystery band date, you never know how it’ll go — it could be a hidden treasure or a total health hazard, but that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?!
Hot air ballooning
Not the cheapest date idea, I’ll admit, but certain to score you points & to impress your lover-to-be. Maybe if you’re dating an heiress?
Decorate a Christmas tree together
Yes, this one is seasonal, but think how fun it would be! It’ll cheer up your (or their) apartment, give you a visual reminder of them (assuming the date goes well), & maybe you could even go ice-skating afterwards. Cute ++.
The Sunday New York Times crossword date
Bonus: intellectual stimulation, nerd points & you get to find out how clever they really are, all in one fell swoop. & wouldn’t it be great if you looked at them across the table, sunlight falling across their face, & they smiled at you & you thought, ‘I would like to spend every Sunday this way’? Yes. Yes it would.
Playground date
Slides are exciting. Monkey bars are fun. Swinging side by side is totally awesome, & you can have a contest as to who can swing higher. (Hint: if you are younger you will probably win this one. Older people, I have learned, sometimes feel motion sick on swings. Definitely one of the downsides of maturity.)
Tree-climbing date
No explanation required, but if you take them to a secret treehouse that no one else knows about, please don’t be surprised if they propose on the spot.
Video game arcade date
This isn’t always a perfect match, especially when it comes to girls in high heels & those weird shoot-em-up zombie games. Or whatever. (How impressed would you be by a drop-dead gorgeous girl kicking immense zombie butt, though?) But everyone likes air hockey. Don’t they?!
Ye olde photobooth hunt
Trawl your city for old-school photobooths & take as many strips as you can. Take props, maybe a silly wig or two, & see how bizarre you can make them. P.S. Photobooth.net is your go-to source for major photobooth info!
A drive-in movie
I admit, this one seems ultra-cool to me just because I’ve never done it & I am in love with Danny Zucco from here until eternity. Just don’t try to take your ring off by wiping it through your greasy hair & hit your girlfriend in the boob. “Oh Sandy baby, some day, when hiiiiiiiigh school is done!”
Sugarhigh date
Simple. Go to a convenience store. Buy cheap, evil, sugary treats. Find somewhere to sit & glut yourselves on them. Then see what happens. Spontaneous dancing? A completely misguided shopping trip? Leapfrogging over small children?! Let us know!
The socially irresponsible date
One word: graffiti. Rebels!
Pretend to be tourists
Go & do the stuff you’ve never done because, well, you’ve always lived here. Wear a baseball cap, khakis & a bum bag (“fanny pack”) for a feeling of real authenticity, & don’t forget to take photos!
“My old neighbourhood” date
Walk around the area you used to live, & tell your date about where you used to ride your bike, what happened on that one lawn, which house was best to hit up on hallowe’en & who the really creepy neighbours were.
The really long one-way walk
No rules except that you just have to walk for a really long time in one direction & not turn around. When you’re really exhausted or hit the ocean, it’s time to go back. Catch a taxi or a bus or something to ease the pain.
Take a dog for a walk
It doesn’t have to be yours, or even hers. Borrow your friend’s dog! They’re adorable & fun & will give you something to talk about if you get stuck. Plus, people will come up to you & say, “Cute dog”, & you can beam at each other like proud parents.
Go to the beach
Take music, towels, a big floppy sun-hat or two & enjoy the day. Build sandcastles, put sunscreen lotion on one another, go swimming & then travel home together as the sun is setting, relaxed & happy.
Karaoke!
I love karaoke. I love karaoke. I love karaoke. Again, it’s a great way to get to know someone — you’ll instantly know how outgoing they are, how much they like a challenge & what their music taste is like. Plus, usually in my experience, a day-glo private room & weird drinks are part of the package. Who could say no to that?
Collaborative art date
Get a canvas or even just a big piece of paper, some paint, pencils or pastels, & go nuts.
Walk around to different bars & tell stories about what happened
This one is kind of abstract, but I was once on a date with a guy where we went to three different bars & as we walked around, he told me about the strange & hilarious memories he had associated with those places. It helps that he was cute & a good storyteller, but still, it could work.
Go & listen to jazz
Pretend to be sophisticated. Or actually be sophisticated, depending…
Take cameras & explore an abandoned place
An excellent opportunity to be artsy-fartsy, or if you like to be on the other side of the camera, get them to take photos of you pulling your most beautifulest faces.
Medieval Times
Oh geez, does this need any explanation? No. Eating with your hands, handsome knights, silly hats? Sign me up!
“First date” night
This one works best if it’s not your actual first date. Like, for example, you’ve been together for 3 years & live in the same house. Get dressed separately, meet somewhere strange & a bit awkward, & pretend you don’t know one another. Start from scratch. Ask all those banal questions you’re supposed to ask (“So, what do you do?”). Then at the end of the night, rejoice that you’re in a relationship & not dating any more!
The generational date
Pretend you’re an age that you’re not, then act accordingly. A senior citizens date might involve going lawn bowling, making apple sauce & watching The Price Is Right. A teenager date might involve roller-skating, making out in public & drinking vodka in an alley-way. You get the idea.
The recession date
Triple B’s: eat at Burger King, take the bus to get there, then go & play bingo. Maybe you could go window shopping afterwards or huddle around a cigarette for warmth (thanks, Withnail & I).
The silent date
In a loud, noisy, overstimulating world, it can be nice to unplug & escape. But it can be nice to do that with your new favourite person, too. Hold hands & read books on a wharf & occasionally look adoringly at one another. Cool.
Make cupcakes together
You know you want to.
Make a video & put it on Youtube
You could really do anything & make a video of it, but it does at least give you a purpose & a goal. Plus, later on you have a record of what went on — & a slew of idiotic comments to wade through. Haha!
Liveblog your date
Upload pictures, tweet it, even give it a hash-tag. #evan&madelinesfirstdate. Cute.
Travel without going anywhere
The premise is simple. Have a normal date but speak with an accent. You both have to do it, by the way, or it doesn’t count. Choose something difficult for extra hilarity points, like Scottish or South African. Och aye!
Write letters to one another & post them
Maybe if you were on a date with a contender for Macho Man Of The Year this wouldn’t work, but I think it is almost the cutest idea ever. It’s definitely worth a try.
Dye each other’s hair
There’s nothing like a radical change to make life more exciting. Try blue-black or red or even pink! I wrote a how to, so there’s no excuse!
Sneak into a rooftop pool
They often have them at hotels, but they are usually only open to guests, so you might have to use your best sweet-talking skills, but it will be totally worth it if you can swing it. My suggestion? Just act as if you’re supposed to be there, & them questioning you is really just a waste of your time. Be charming but efficient. Godspeed!
Jump on a trampoline
The hardest part will be finding one, but I have faith in you!
Use sparklers to draw each other pictures
& maybe even write “GD + MKO 4 EVER”. (Take photos.)
Ice-cream parlour
Get a really, really, really big sundae & split it. Bicker over toppings. Then, when you’re done, find somewhere to lie down & talk about how sick you feel. A bonding experience to be sure!
Have a five-course dinner… at different places
Have an appetiser at one place, soup somewhere else, a main here, a dessert there, & coffee at your favourite cafe.
Play truth or dare
Awesome.
Three-hour make-out session
Choose a good location & use a stopwatch if necessary. Sounds like a good way to spend an afternoon to me.
What’s the best date you’ve ever been on?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [125] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Love & Sequins #2 Is Live!
[ 1 June 2009, 09:20 ]
Hooray!
The second chapter of Love & Sequins: Making Magic Happen was sealed with a kiss first thing this morning, & is ready to be devoured by you! (For those of you who are new to iCiNG, Love & Sequins is the bare bones of my new big project, a delicious book about blowing kisses to the universe!)
The title is THE SMART GIRL’S GUIDE TO BUSINESS — Taking control of your life, finding your passion, loving what you do & making mad bling!
Written in New York City & recorded in Toronto, it weighs in at over 12,000 words, & the MP3 is an hour & a bit. I talk at length about my experiences as an independent business owner, discovering what you love to do, how to escape the corporate world, the lessons I’ve learned, what it’s like to make a living as a “blogger”, what it takes to be successful & much more!
This chapter of Love & Sequins is split into two parts. As a super-special treat, this chapter includes a half-hour long interview between the infamous, creative, prolific & extremely successful Molly Crabapple & I, recorded last month at International Playgirl HQ! We discuss starting your own business, being self-sufficient, how to manage your money, online personalities, the new professionalism & following your passion even when times get tough! It’s cute & hilarious, by turns serious & frivolous, & if you close your eyes you can pretend you’re sitting on my bed with us. There are even cabs blaring their horns outside, essential to the authentic New York City experience!
I’m so passionate about this topic, because since starting my business it is all I have really been interested in! I have so much to say about it, I could write an entire book on the subject — maybe one day I will!
You can purchase this podcast for $12, subscribe for a year & be billed monthly at $10, or pay for it all at once for $84 (a super-saving at $7 a month).
Once I receive notification that you’ve snapped it up, I’ll send you an email which has the complete chapter as well as a link to the MP3!
If after listening to #2 you want to go back & hear the first chapter, you can pick it up here!
As always, thanks for your support & enthusiasm! It means so much to me.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [41] Tags: consumption,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
podcast,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Introducing... Isobel Oval!
[ 27 May 2009, 23:11 ]
Who is Isobel Oval? She’s a girl I invented years ago, & usually played side-kick to my favourite character, Diana Risk. I used to write stories about them & their various misadventures. They were best friends, living in Stockholm, Sweden, & were constantly getting into trouble. When I first dreamt them up, Diana & Isobel had a lot of problems, but as they get older, they seem to be slightly better behaved… But only slightly!
Isobel is tall & pale, with white-blonde hair cut into a sharp bob & a very feline face. (She used to have a huge pile of white dreadlocks, & would hide things in them when she went shoplifting.) Her wardrobe is a combination of gifts from wealthy ex-boyfriends, chain store treasures & stolen pieces from all over the place.
Isobel likes ginger wine, spending time with Diana, loud music, breaking hearts, browsing prison penpal websites & getting dressed up. She mostly lives in a one-bedroom apartment in Gamla stan, which is painted entirely white & illuminated by clear fairy lights, but splits her time between Sweden, Los Angeles & New York.
See by Chloé tank worn with Topshop petal-cut skirt. An Emilio Pucci bracelet & feather earrings from Miss Selfridge add more colour. Shoes by Acne, Oasis & Nicole Brundage. (Product information.)
On Monday, Isobel went to therapy & grimaced at her doctor, then called her father & told him she wanted to stop going. That afternoon, she painted her toenails royal blue while watching old episodes of America’s Next Top Model. Later on, she went to the supermarket, spent an hour reading the food packaging labels, & flirted shamelessly with everyone who worked there. (She also couldn’t pick a pair of shoes, so changed them multiple times.)
Betsey Johnson dress with hot pink Dr Marten 14-ups. Headband from Girlprops, gloves from ASOS, Tarina Tarantino necklace, Lolita Lempicka perfume & OPI nail-polish in Sahara Sapphire. (Product information.)
On Tuesday, Isobel went out to dinner with James. He had a wife it would be too much trouble to divorce, & so James & Isobel had a “mutually beneficial” relationship. They had been seeing each other for about five months. “Now, I can’t take you to Cannes this year,” he said, running a finger along her jawline while staring at her over-glossed pout, “but I can make it up to you.” When he dropped her home, he handed her an envelope containing $7000.
Helmut Lang tank worn with jeans by Republic, Alexander McQueen heels, a Thomas Wylde handbag & a chaos signet ring. (Product information.)
On Wednesday, after banking the majority of James’ cash (she was trying responsibility on for size), Isobel ate most of a jar of caviar while walking circles around her apartment & singing along to The Beta Band’s The Three EPs. When she couldn’t sing any more, she pulled her emerald green typewriter out of the closet, sat down with a lollipop in her mouth, & started writing love poems to no one in particular.
Bamford wool jacket worn with Forever 21 skirt, AM sunglasses, slouchy knit beret, & a Ramones belt. Topped off with Alexander McQueen studded booties, fingerless skeleton gloves & OPI’s Kinky In Helsinki nail-polish. (Product information.)
On Thursday, Isobel went to her favourite art store in the city & spent an hour running her fingers along the jars & stacks of pencils. Later in the day, she met Diana at a wine bar & they lamented their lack of exciting love prospects. “I think I’d like a boyfriend who had just undergone jaw surgery,” Diana said, “so that his mouth was wired shut. I’d like to have him around to look at, just not to communicate with.” Isobel laughed, but knew that Diana was speaking the absolute truth.
Marchesa lace dress & Alexander McQueen booties. Ring & necklace by Karen Millen, gloves by ASOS & dachshund clutch bag. Inside the puppy belly? iPhone, Moleskine, condoms, & a Swarovski-encrusted pen. (Product information).
On Friday, after an afternoon filled with watercolour experiments, Isobel got dressed up & went to her friend’s book release party. The crowd was varied — from an award-winning moustache-grower to fashion designers to a family of circus midgets — & a charming Italian girl read her palm & invited her to a nearby rooftop, where they drank beers & met a group of anarchists who were running around setting off fireworks.
Erin Wasson tank & knickers from Forever 21, with turquoise socks, Alexander McQueen booties, French heart necklaces & a copy of People Look Like Flowers At Last by Charles Bukowski. (Product information.)
On Saturday morning, hungover & still wearing yesterday’s gloves, boots & jewellery, Isobel blinked herself awake. She looked across the bed at her companion. She raked her fingers through her hair & prodded the person lying next to her. When they cracked an eye open, Isobel asked, “Do I know you?” “No,” they answered. “Well, then, I think you should leave.” They left, half-dressed. Isobel spent the rest of the day baking chocolate & lavender cupcakes for Diana, lying down reading poems with her feet in the air, & sticking glow-in-the-dark stars all over her apartment.
Gucci dress, blazer by Preen, Frye harness boots worn with silver feather necklace & Jessica Kagan Cushman “lust” ring. (Product information.)
On Sunday, Isobel went to the theatre with an art collector she used to date. One of his favourite activities used to be pouring champagne all over her body while playing Tears For Fears at an excessive volume. Towards the end of their relationship, he had tried to suffocate her with a pillow, but they had since forgiven & forgotten. Halfway through the play they got bored, gate-crashed a friend’s party & jumped in the swimming pool with all their clothes on. Isobel walked home hours later, totally soaked with her mascara running down her face, smiling at everyone who gave her a worried look.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [90] Tags: aesthetic,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 27th April 2009
[ 27 April 2009, 08:48 ]
Separate your planner or journal into sections. Mine, for example, has each day split into 3 parts: iCiNG, social & personal. For some reason, putting each actionable item under a heading makes everything much more manageable. I learned this trick from my friend Livia, who is very clever! Her day is split into 5 sections: money, career, artistry, relationships & being a woman in the world. Come up with headings which make sense for you, or are applicable to things you want to achieve!
Cut the tags out of your underwear. There is nothing worse than an errant tag to mess up an otherwise perfect outfit!
Use Big Huge Labs’ Mosaic Maker & Flickr to make a vision board. Set it as your desktop background & start making things happen!
Learn how to read tarot cards.
Plan a Friday the 13th party. (Next one is in November!)
Stop being shy about your talents — tell the world!
Invite your favourite person over for a slumber party.
Decide that you’re done with making excuses. If you want to get fit, for example, you don’t need to join a gym — start doing push-ups in your living room or go for a run around the block!
Buy a really bright umbrella for brightening up dreary rainy days.
Smile when you write emails. I swear it will come through in your writing!
Buy a glass top for your table or desk, so that you can put pictures down & press them under the glass. Instant inspiration, instantly changeable, instant happy!
Stock up on vintage caftans in which to lounge around the house. (Ebay & Etsy are good for that kind of thing!)
Go to a trimmings shop & buy things to glue to headbands or pin into your hair.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [38] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Lightcasting Day: April 2009!
[ 24 April 2009, 14:49 ]
Eeeeeep! I almost forgot! Today is Lightcasting Day wherever you are on the planet — the day of the new moon, the day when it’s most powerful to do some manifesting & visualising & think about what it is you want out of the next month!
If you’re new to lightcasting, I wrote a guide to it a few months ago. Each sign has something different to focus on each month, so here’s what you might like to meditate on today or tomorrow!
Aquarius Start from the ground up. Take stock of the environment you grew up in, your early childhood, & how you treat yourself today. Choose to heal, to grow & leave the past behind.
Pisces How do you react to the world around you? How could you change the way you behave in order to alter your current reality? Try writing it out or talking about it with someone you trust; see what you can come up with.
Aries Give some thought to how much you value yourself, your time, your health. Basically, this weekend is about self-esteem. Every choice we make has a direct correlation to how much we love ourselves, so what are your choices saying about you?
Taurus Who do you think you are? It’s time to create a new persona & a new ego. Do you want to be wild or mild? Sweet or crazy? Honest or shrewd? Throw it all into a big mixing pot & start living it.
Gemini Switch up your routine & break rotten old patterns. If someone always talks to you in a way you don’t like, start reacting differently. Change habits which are unhealthy or make you feel bad about yourself.
Cancer Are you a social butterfly or a homebody? This coming month is all about your position in society. Think about the kind of social life you’d like to have, then start making it happen!
Leo How do you feel about your work? Does it fulfil you or does it leave you feeling empty & drained? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? This weekend, visualise yourself living & loving you ideal work.
Virgo Our beliefs are fluid, they change as we do. The things that used to be true for you may not be any longer. You may have thought having a job = security, but that’s not true any more. Don’t be afraid to shift your perceptions!
Libra Where do you draw the line with other people? Do you have trouble saying no? This month is all about boundaries & intimacy — it’s time to create new boundaries that make you feel good.
Scorpio You’re re-evaluating everything you’ve been connected to for a long time — like relationships, work, friends & even how you treat yourself. Heavy stuff! Try not to overburden yourself though, just ruminate!
Sagittarius When you change your day-to-day life, everything else changes too. It’s the perfect time to switch your routine, what you eat, how you exercise, & who you spend time with.
Capricorn Your inner child wants some attention! Our inner child is the part of us that dreams really big, with no regard for how to do anything. Listen closely this weekend & you’ll remember what it is you really want!
You can get a whole lot more information about your individual sign here! Enjoy your weekend!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [25] Tags: astrology,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Gala Darling Loves Bridget Marquardt!
[ 22 April 2009, 13:55 ]
I find Hugh Hefner totally fascinating. One of the most well-known figures in publishing, he has an enormous empire & built it from nothing. What is most interesting to a lot of us, though, is his lifestyle. A self-proclaimed man about town, he is known for bedding some of the world’s most desirable women — & at 83, is still surrounded by beautiful women at all times of the day.
When I was back in New Zealand last year, staying with my parents — who have cable television — I became totally infatuated with The Girls Next Door, a reality show based around life at the Playboy mansion & more specifically, Hef’s three live-in girlfriends. When I was done working for the day, my mother & I would congregate on the couch & watch a few episodes of The Girls Next Door. While at first I watched it out of morbid curiousity, the more I got into it the more I enjoyed it. It’s really a very fun show — Hef, Holly, Kendra & Bridget are all very personable & their lifestyle is pretty inspiring & very fun in all its extravagance.
However, times change, & late last year, news broke that all three of the girlfriends had moved out of the house & onto new things. Holly — Hef’s #1 girlfriend — had shacked up with Criss Angel (the gothic David Copperfield), Kendra was engaged to an NFL player, & Bridget had a new television show to work on: Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches.
I was recently extremely fortunate to have been given the opportunity to interview Bridget about her show & the changes she’s made in her life. I was really interested to hear about how the transition had been, from being one of Hef’s girlfriends living in the lap of luxury, to branching out as a single girl, on her own, carving out her own path.
We spoke on the phone & I instantly loved her. Bridget is so sweet, funny, uplifting & positive — & not a bimbo at all! You can download our interview below, but I also transcribed it so you can read it at work! I hope you enjoy it!
I also wanted to say a huge thank you to Bridget, the Travel Channel & Ingrid of Room 214 for making this all happen. Big kisses!
Gala Darling loves Bridget Marquardt (MP3)
(Right-click to download — for some reason the whole thing won’t load in Firefox!)
Gala: I’m sure it must have been a really magical time for you, living in the mansion & everything, & I’m sure it was a really strange adjustment & there was a big leap of faith when you left your previous life behind, so what I really wanted to know was what’s the most exciting thing that’s happened to you so far as a consequence of having branched out on your own?
Bridget: Well, definitely doing this Travel Channel show & having this opportunity with them, not only has it been the coolest opportunity but made it possible for me to branch out on my own. I’ve been at the mansion for 7 years, & when this opportunity came up & everybody was supportive & I knew it was going to be a go, I knew that that was kind of the beginning of the end for me & my life at the mansion. Nothing to do with my feelings towards Hef or any of the other girls, but I just knew that it was… I was looking for an opportunity that would branch me out on my own, & so this has been the most exciting thing to come along. & honestly, I have given 110% to it, & I haven’t been doing anything since because my whole life has been devoted to travelling around the last 7 months, even prior to moving out of the mansion, coming home between trips & packing really quick, putting everything in storage & continuing to travel, so it’s really all I’ve been doing for the last 7 months & since I’ve been out of the mansion.
Gala: Wow, okay. So what’s been the most challenging part of the transition that you’ve made?
Bridget: You know what, I feel like I haven’t even made the transition yet. (Static!!!) So that’s been the most challenging part, just trying to get all my stuff packed up & into storage! Other than that, I haven’t even really realised that I’ve moved out, because I’m homeless still, um, in a funny way, because I’ve been travelling so much that I haven’t had to find a house yet. I’ve been looking! Even before I left the mansion I was looking for like a condo or a cute little house in the Valley or something but I’ve been travelling so much I haven’t really had a chance to look, when I’m at home, just online, so I’ve been living hotel to hotel, or if there’s a few days open when I’m in L.A. I stay at a friend’s house, so it hasn’t really occured to me that I’m not living at the mansion any more. That’s still my physical address, I still go there & get all my mail & say hi to Mary & the butlers & the security & everyone, & I feel like they’re my big extended family, so the adjustment & the transition hasn’t really hit me yet. I don’t have another place that I call home yet.
Gala: Right. So how is it going living out of suitcases? Doesn’t that drive you crazy?! It drives me totally crazy.
Bridget: Really? I love it! I love staying in hotels, & I mean… re-packing the suitcases gets a little bit old & lugging them around everywhere gets a little bit hard, & I feel like I’ve been wearing the same clothes over & over again, just re-washing & packing the same stuff, ‘cause most of my stuff’s in storage for like the last four or five months now, but other than that I really like it! I’ve been buying a few new things along the way & taking from wardrobe!
Gala: So given that you’ve left the mansion — well, you know, theoretically left the mansion — what has your perception of the fan response been to that? Has there been an outpouring of support, have people been asking you a lot of questions… How has that been for you?
Bridget: Everyone’s been really supportive, the fanbase about Girls Next Door is sad that that whole — they feel like it’s the end of an era, & are really sad about that — but as far as the most part, I’ve been really supported & encouraged. People are really happy for me, that I have this opportunity & they’ve been supportive of the show, & a lot of the Girls Next Door fans are watching it & happy for it, & it’s been funny because everywhere I used to go… I mean, Girls Next Door is syndicated in 170 countries or something ridiculous like that, everywhere I go I’m recognised, even in Thailand & Australia & just everywhere, even Costa Rica, especially Costa Rica! In fact, Costa Rica, every time I was in my hotel room, Girls Next Door was on! It was weird, like they run marathons of it constantly! & everyone used to know me as the girl from the mansion, one of the Playboy girls, a girl next door, whatever, but now I’m finding that everywhere I go people are coming up to me going, “Oh are you doing that beaches show?! I’m so excited for your beaches show! I love your beaches show!” Even when I got to — I’m staying at the Beverly Wilshire right now for the upfronts today, & when I walked into the hotel this guy in a business suit & everything goes, “Bridget, Bridget!” & I turned around & thought, ‘What, what?!’ to the lady who was escorting me to my room, & he goes, “Oh my god, I just wanted to let you know — BIG fan of your new Beaches show, big fan, wasn’t a big fan of Girls Next Door, wasn’t really my thing, but I love your Beaches show.” & people are starting to come up to me, not even bringing up Girls Next Door or the mansion or any of that, & just saying, “Are you shooting your Beaches show? I love your Beaches show! I love your Travel Channel show!”, & now I feel like I’m starting to get to be known for the Beaches show & the Travel Channel & not just Playboy, Girls Next Door, which is really exciting for me because it’s more personal & individual.
Gala: Yeah, that’s really cool, & I think that’s a really positive indication that obviously people are ready for you to make that transition & they’re accepting it & you’re really going to make a name for yourself, which is really great.
Bridget: Yeah, I’m hoping that, I’m pushing it that way, I’m giving it all I’ve got & it’s really exciting for me. I think part of the reason too is from the start of Girls Next Door, I always said that this is what I wanted to do, right from the very beginning, even before we started Girls Next Door I was taking classes in — I have a Masters degree in Communications — & then I was taking broadcast journalism classes at UCLA, through the extension program, & when Girls Next Door started, & press or whoever would ask, “So where do you see yourself in five years? Where do you want this to lead?”, I would always say, “I really want to host my own show, something travel-related or something spooky-related, & they’d be like, “Oh, cool, whatever”, you know, but here I am, it’s not even 5 years later & I’m doing it! & I put that out there kind of during the whole show, any time we’d do interviews, & they’d be like, “Where do you want to go? What are your ambitions? Tell us about school, why was it upsetting for you to miss that test?”, that kind of thing, during Girls Next Door interviews, I’d always talk about how career was so important to me & school is so important to me & how I really wanted to host my own show. So I feel like this was kind of a good arc for me, because the fans kind of went through all of that with me, & now they actually see it come to fruition.
Gala: Well that’s very cool & very inspiring, because it reminds people that they can actually live out their dreams & do what they really want to do.
Bridget: Oh that’s the number one thing I tell people — I don’t get a chance to go & speak very often but I did get to go speak at the University of Pittsburgh, & I just told them that education is so important, because it allows you to be able to follow your dreams, even if what you went to school for isn’t exactly what you want to do or what you end up doing, you always have that to fall back on, it’s something nobody can take away from you. So just follow your dreams! Get your education & just follow your dreams!
Gala: Yeah, definitely. So I know you had a regular spot, was it on Sirius FM?
Bridget: Yeah! It was Sirius radio, 198, I had a live radio show every Friday, a morning show, I had so much fun. I really enjoy doing radio, but due to my schedule now I’m not able to do it any more. But they still talk to me & they were like, “Any time you want to come back, like when your schedule frees up, when you want to come back, want to do a show, we’d love to have you, you can talk about anything you want, we’d just love to have you back!” So I mean it was about the lifestyle & what was going on at the mansion all week, even what we were serving for dinners, & what movies we were watching, & that kind of thing, but if I went back we could come up with a whole new format, which would be kind of fun.
Gala: That’s awesome. Okay, so tell me how Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches came about. Was it your idea? Or was it a whole lot of crazy late-night planning sessions with a bunch of people…? How did that come to fruition?
Bridget: You know I wish it was totally my idea, it was my ideal job to begin with & like I said, I was putting it out there from the very beginning. But I didn’t really have any way of making that come true other than just going to school & trying out different opportunities, but what happened was the executive producer of Girls Next Door, Kevin Burns, was doing some other shows for the Travel Channel — they weren’t hosted shows, they were just like Food Paradise kind of things, & then they came to him & said, “We really want to do a show about amazing beaches all over the world, & we want somebody kind of sexy to host it” — they were thinking maybe a Playmate or something — & Kevin was like, “Well, what about Bridget? She’d be perfect & that’s really what she wants to do.” & they were kind of like, “Well, what about Girls Next Door? Can we get her?”, & he was like, “Well, I kind of have a pull with Girls Next Door!”, you know, because he’s the executive producer for it, so he set up the initial meetings, & we met, & we hit it off great, it was with Michael Klein & Charlie Parsons & I thought they were great. & before they even left the mansion I was already emailing them my ideas of places I thought we should go & things I thought we should do, & later they said that that’s when they knew they had the right person, that I was emailing them all my ideas before they even walked out the door!
Gala: Yeah, that’s fantastic! So have you just finished filming the first season?
Bridget: We aren’t completely done yet. There’s 13 episodes, 12 original locations. We’ve completed 11 of them, & on Monday I leave for Morocco, which will be the final original location, then I come back & in-studio the 13th episode, which will be the best of.
Gala: Wow, okay, so have you been to 12 different countries for each thing, or… ?
Bridget: Well, not entirely different countries but 12 different areas or regions. We did Southern California was our first one, then we went to Spain & Croatia, & then Turks Caicos & Jamaica, Australia & Thailand, Florida & Mexico, Hawaii, & I just got back from Costa Rica the other night. & on Monday I leave for Morocco. & I think that’s probably all 11 of them.
Gala: Okay, so my final question is as an amazing, independent woman, what would be your advice to other women who are recently single & wanting to strike out & do their own thing? What would you say to them?
Bridget: Oh… That the sky’s the limit, & you just have to set your mind to it. I mean, know what you want & love what you do, like think of what you would enjoy doing every single day, that it wouldn’t necessarily feel like work. I mean, any time you do something that’s in your career, there’s times where it’s going to be stressful or it’s going to be work, but if there’s something that you love so much, that every day doesn’t feel like work, & follow your dreams! The sky really is the limit. & if it means going & taking a few classes, or doing a few things for free, or at a low end to get your foot in the door, just go for it! Do it!
Gala: That’s fantastic advice. Alright, well thank you so much for your time!
Bridget: You’re welcome! Thank you!
Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches airs on Thursdays at 10pm EST on the Travel Channel. If you’ve never seen it before, you can get sneak peeks on Youtube!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [52] Tags: inspiration,
life,
podcast Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Become; Immerse. Beauty! Become It.
[ 17 April 2009, 13:19 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [15] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Astro-Weirding Courtesy Of Retrograde Venus
[ 16 April 2009, 23:24 ]
Some of you may have noticed that the past little while has been… well, WEIRD, for lack of a better word. Especially in the romance universe. Mixed messages, insanely indecipherable behaviour & strange incompatibilities are all rife. It’s maddening. Why? Because Venus has been in retrograde, & has been since the 6th of March. This could explain a few things, hmm?! When planets retrograde, we often feel stuck or confused & unable to move forward. While this is extremely frustrating, it’s a great time to learn & reflect on our old patterns so we can change them & surge onwards to a bright new dawn.
Venus is the planet of love & creativity. It also rules beauty, aesthetics, friendships, marriages & pleasure, so when it goes retrograde, it can affect us in various ways. Arguments, misunderstandings & epic miscommunications are everywhere you turn, romances hit rocky territory, artists lose their mojo & writers feel uninspired. Ordinarily outgoing people want to hide in their houses, & even shopping for clothing or furniture can become a frustrating trial. Ex-boyfriends might start emailing you out of the blue — sentimental thoughts are higher than usual. You might be re-evaluating all your past relationships, as we often find ourselves being forced to deal with old issues during this time, & we could be drawn to more unconventional relationships (or people!) than would normally appeal to us. Yes, it can be a trying time. To see what Venus retrograde has really struck for you, this page from Cafe Astrology outlines what particular areas have been affected for each sign.
The good news is that Venus is going direct again this Friday/Saturday depending on where you are on the planet (see below). Even better, at the time it goes direct, Mercury trines Saturn, meaning mental powers are heightened & we all feel super-conscious & lucid.
Venus goes direct again at…
12.25pm Friday 17th April in Los Angeles
15.25pm Friday 17th April in New York
20.25pm Friday 17th April in London
5.25am Saturday 18th April in Sydney
7.25am Saturday 18th April in Wellington
(If your city isn’t listed, this time zone converter should do the trick!)
Hallelujah!
Mystic Medusa sent out a great message on her mailing list the other day with a couple of ideas of rituals you could do to usher in Venus going direct, & as I read it & thought ‘What a great idea!’, it occurred to me that there were a lot of other ways you could do this that were less pagan/squiffy/“new age” in nature. We are not all comfortable lighting a candle & waving around a stick of incense, right?
Firstly, though, why would anyone want to do a ritual just because the planets are changing? Well, really what it’s about is making a conscious decision to end a chapter in your life & start on a fresh new course. So often people say, “Okay, time for a change!” but it never comes to fruition. There are a multitude of reasons for this, but when you decide to do something, it can be really helpful to make a dedication to it through your actions. You can write a list of goals, you can restructure your time, etc., but you can also kick it all off with a ritual to get you on the right track. Plus… rituals can be really fun, always a good reason to do anything!
In this case, Venus going direct is a time to commit to what it is you want in the areas of love, friendship, creativity & pleasure. We create our own lives, after all — this is just another way of making that happen.
When you do a ritual of any kind that is intended to bring about change, really what you want to do is focus on what it is that you want while performing an action which helps crystallise your thoughts. Visualising is an awesome way to manifest things, but at the same time, it’s very “up there”, which means that a lot of people feel like they’re not really doing it right. Visualising while moving your body with intent is a great way to bring manifesting into the here & now & make it more concrete. (Ah yes, all that dabbling in wicca at age 14 — despite the fact that it concerned my parents a LOT — had its uses!)
Visualise can be a scary, new agey word to a lot of people but I’ll let you in on a secret — it’s really just a fancy way of saying “imagine”!
Here are a selection of ways that you can unite body & mind. Just remember to keep your intention in your head as you do them! Think about what it is you want to create in your own life, specifically in the realm of love, friendship & creativity. Maybe you want to patch things up with your boyfriend, heal old relationship issues, make new friends or start writing a book. Whatever it is, just fantasize about it as you do one of the following, or something of your own creation — I’d love to hear what you come up with!
Re-examine your creative space. Clear it out. Take down all the old pictures, fortunes, trinkets, clean them off & then add in some new things which fire you up in fresh ways.
Make a list of all of the beautiful things you can think of — then come up with a bunch of ways to celebrate them when Venus goes direct.
Write a letter to your ex. Be as angry as you like. Spew total filth. Throw blame around, feel the fury, wallow in it. Then read it aloud, & BURN IT. As you burn it, allow those problems to disappear with it.
Write down all the ways you can be a love letter to the universe, & choose a few to action!
Glue heart-shaped crystals to your face & go out dancing.
Write a letter to yourself, explaining why you’re so fabulous & what you are thankful for.
Hold hands with a friend & recite affirmations together.
Conjure up images of all your ex-lovers in your head, & instead of seeing them as the person who caused this or that, choose to see them as a flawed person who did their best to love you.
Similarly, think of the people who surround you currently & decide to focus on their best & most positive qualities. No point dwelling on what could be different!
Buy a corkboard & pin up a bunch of pictures which symbolise what it is you want to attract into your life. Put on fun music, go mad with scissors, enjoy yourself! (Corkboards are good for making vision boards because while you want to see them regularly, sometimes you don’t want other people to see them… So you can always put them in a closet or under the bed when you have company!)
Make a little speech as you dedicate yourself to beauty & integrity.
Go through old love letters & throw them out — just ditch that cobwebby energy — OR pick the best ones, & frame them as an example of what it is you’re seeking. Just remember not to attach to the person who wrote them, unless of course you want them back!
Create a playlist of your favourite music, grab your hula hoop & headphones, go out & dance in the sunshine & revel in the wonder of the everyday.
Invite your lover — or someone you’re having issues with — & tell them that you both have fifteen minutes to get past garbage off your chests. You can make notes in preparation if you want. You have fifteen minutes to say your piece, & when the clock strikes half past, you have to both let it go & make up. Use your imagination!
Repot old plants & see them as a symbol of change, growth & evolution.
Meditate.
Dress in pink & throw yourself a belated Valentine’s Day-esque party.
Journal. Ask yourself questions, & answer them. What could you let go of to bring more positivity into your life? What fears are holding you back from doing that? In which areas are you willing to make change?
Think of an old conversation you had — one that is affecting you to this day (most of us have hundreds we can draw upon in a heartbeat) — & recite it as accurately as you can. Then recite it again, but this time, imagine it went a different way — a way that would have left you feeling good. Visualise this actually happening as clearly as possible. Then let it go.
Think about the ways you can take action in your life to change what has been bothering you for the past couple of months. Venus retrograde is really about observing & becoming aware of problems, not necessarily taking any concrete steps towards change, so consider what you could do now to shake things up.
Write notes to your friends outlining why you love them & what you appreciate about them.
Clear out the space in which you typically “get busy” — whether that’s your bedroom, kitchen (oh!), or the back seat of your Jeep… Get rid of dying plants or flowers (bad feng shui!), bring in some colour, vacuum, make it somewhere you really want to be!
Dispose of all the old energy following you around by getting a bit OCD on it. Clean everything. Change your bedding, wash your clothes, take off all the jewellery you wear regularly & clean it, dust, mop, etc.
The most powerful time of the transit is the hour that Venus goes direct — so the half hour on either side of the times stated above. So if you’re in London, kick off at about 8pm, & see if you can draw it out until 9.
Best of luck!
Extra For Experts:
If you want to come up with your own way of celebrating or ritualising Venus going direct, these resources might help you!
How to Create a Ritual or Ceremony from Spiritual Integrity.
New Moon Manifestation Ritual from About.com. This is new moon specific but still useful.
Ritual & Ceremony by Zan Benham.
Dance as ritual & transformation from The Hindu newspaper.
A Self Love Ceremony from About.com.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [37] Tags: astrology,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 13th April 2009
[ 13 April 2009, 09:59 ]
Diana Vreeland chilling at International Playgirl HQ / John & Yoko
Buy strange, sparkly, clunky pieces of costume jewellery & hang them from the push-pins you already have in place holding up pictures or prints. They serve as a kind of fabulous impromptu frame.
Make a regular midnight snack date with someone who makes you laugh until your sides ache.
Schedule a nap into your day. Better than that, schedule an entire bed day.
Start holding International Playgirl breakfasts. (All this really requires is a bunch of fun, cute girls & some breakfast foods!)
Wear a suspender belt with stockings. Every day. (I swear, there is no better morale booster!)
If something upsetting has happened to your friend, throw a party for them in celebration of new opportunities.
Stage a love-in. Or a bed-in.
Be honest with yourself.
Invite a bunch of people over for an informal Tuesday night dinner party.
Devote one wall in your apartment to photos of your friends.
Realise that there is no better time than right now to break the old patterns that don’t serve you any more.
Kiss.
Drop your defences.
Work the phrase l’esprit de l’escalier into a sentence.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [61] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Spring Fever
[ 7 April 2009, 13:30 ]
Spring is coming to New York City & I’m so excited. Even though I haven’t experienced a full winter since 2007 (!!!), I still adore spring. It’s easily the most beautiful time of year. Pitter patter…
The shops are full of the new season’s trends — florals (of course), fresh colours & bold silhouettes; sequins, jumpsuits & fringe; draped necklaces, embellished headbands & big bangles; slashed denim, ripped lace & neon accents. It’s totally overwhelming & extremely exciting. So of course, I’ve been thinking about my spring fashion concept…
I don’t have any definite answers yet, but know that while my usual trademarks will be in place — big, ridiculous shoes, oversized cardigans, candy-coloured hair & a cornucopia of sparkly accoutrements — I’ll definitely be supplementing with some yummy trends. I am envisioning lots of skirts, high heels, & jewellery which acts as my own personal percussion section.
Here are some things which have been keeping me awake at night. What are you dying to wriggle into this season?
Clockwise: Miu Miu Whipstitch patent pumps; Givenchy leather ankle sandals; Fendi strappy patent sandals; Viktor & Rolf heels; bracelets from Forever 21; headband from Colette; panties from Forever 21; Fendi wedge-heel boots; Balmain sandals.
Clockwise: House of Holland shirt; La Perla bra; bat bag from Topshop; La Perla suspender belt; translucent sunglasses; oversized tote from Forever 21; Proenza Schouler boots.
Clockwise: Patent purse; headbands from Forever 21; Sonia Rykiel sweater; Karen Zambos skirt; wicked frames; Swarovski ring; cubic zirconia ring; Givenchy leather ankle sandals; neon pink Dr Marten boots; Pauric Sweeney overnight bag; Frye harness boots.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [45] Tags: consumption,
gala,
inspiration,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Infinite Relationships
[ 4 April 2009, 12:10 ]
I found this the other day & really enjoyed reading it. It’s an essay on relationships that was published as a zine called Infinite Relationships: Relationships without bounds or boundaries, love without limits, without ends. Normally I would not just take someone else’s article & repost it, but I think it’s important enough that it can stand on its own — & I’d love to hear your opinions on it, too.
For what it’s worth, I think a lot of the points he raises in this essay are important & valid & worth investigating, though I am not necessarily sure that (for me) polyamory is the answer.
You can download the pdf here. Unfortunately, there is no name on it so I don’t know who to attribute it to, but it’s very well-written! Finally, I’ve edited this slightly, just so that no one gets in trouble reading this at work! Okay, enjoy!
This is about so-called “non-monogamous relationships,” about some of the benefits of trying out one of the alternatives to the formulaic dating/marriage/divorce model for love. Your response to this article will probably be similar to the one I had a few years ago when I read a discussion of the same subject by David Sandstrom in the Swedish ‘zine Handbook for Revolutionaries: “good idea, but, uh, not relevant to me, of course…” It turned out I was wrong. Had I remembered a lesson I’ve learned over and over, I would have realized that often the ideas that make me the most defensive and uncomfortable at first turn out to be the most important for me in the long run. Not to say that I’m offering a program that you must all immediately adjust yourselves to… but we can’t remind each other enough to be open to new ideas, in case they do prove to be helpful in our lives.
A couple years ago I had a wonderful experience on tour, in which I finally experienced what it felt like for men’s gender roles to be dissolved: over the course of the tour everyone in the band and the people touring with us were all able to open up and become emotionally supportive and loving, and suddenly the experience of being with a lot of other boys was totally f*cking different from anything I’d encountered before. In this safe, encouraging environment, all of us really felt fearless, free, ready to try anything, with no more doubt or need for walls to protect us. On the surface, it was just that we weren’t afraid to touch and hold each other, and that we stopped complaining and being selfish; but the implications beneath this were immense: I realized that there was no need for intimacy and emotional support to be confined to my romantic relationships—I could create and benefit from these things in every relationship.
This got me thinking about my romantic relationships… if there was no reason my friendships couldn’t be more like my love affairs, why couldn’t my love affairs be more like my friendships? When I thought about it, my friendships had a lot going for them that my love affairs never did: my friends were never jealous or possessive, my friendships didn’t tend to adhere to some strict socialized image of what they “should” be, and while my friendships generally continued on in one form or another through my life, once it turned out that a romantic relationship wasn’t storybook-perfect it would end and I wouldn’t see the lover any more.
All my love relationships had proceeded something like this: In the beginning I would meet a beautiful new person, we would broaden each others’ horizons and have wonderful experiences together, and thus fall in love. At first we would feel more free together than either of us ever had, and the world would seem full to overflowing with possibility and wild joy. But slowly, not trusting the rest of the world, or the future in which we might not feel such wonderful things, we would build our relationship into a castle, to keep out the cold and dangerous outside world, and protect our passion by turning it into an institution. Sex, which at the beginning had been something that came more naturally and freely than anything else, became jealously guarded as the seal sanctifying our love relationship, as proof that it was different than all our other relationships. [This seems, in retrospect, like a really strange role for sex to play.] Inevitably, I would wake up one day and realize that the free, feral passion that we’d been united by was gone, replaced by habit, routine, fear of change; the castle we’d built had become a tomb, sealing us inside and away from the outside world, which we’d actually needed all along to bring us each new things to offer the other and sustain ourselves. Inside the coffin, we fought more and more, each demanding that the other prove her love by sacrificing more and more—when love is supposed to enable you to live more, not disable you in return for an assurance of basic companionship, a companionship that often replaces your participation in larger communities anyway. Falling in love had been like finding a secret entrance to the garden of Eden, a gift economy in which we shared everything without keeping score or worrying about “fair trade”; but now we were back in the exchange economy, competing to see who could need more, who could control more. After all my attempts to transcend the stereotyped roles of people in romantic relationships, I suddenly found that I was a “boyfriend” again, with a “girlfriend” (which is not a healthy role for anyone to have to play in this sexist society!), with no idea how it had all happened.
I started thinking about how it is that we all keep falling into these patterns, and how we could avoid them. The issue of limitation kept coming up: the idea that some things had to be off limits for the relationship to work. With my friends, nothing is off limits, and nothing is demanded either: we offer each other whatever we can, whenever we have it to give, and we don’t demand anything that doesn’t come naturally for the other (that’s how my friendships go when they’re healthy, at least, and most of them are at this point). I decided to look into what other models for love relationships there were, and discovered that there is a long tradition of relationships without these limits and expectations: non-monogamous, or “open,” relationships.
I’m not trying to say that monogamous relationships are bad, exactly, but there are a thousand kinds of relationships, and we generally only permit ourselves to try one format, which seems ridiculous. Let’s explore a bit. Every time I hear about another wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend cheating and sneaking around, every time I hear someone speaking proudly about how (in the name of monogamy) he has managed to resist doing something he really wants to, every time I must listen to someone pathetically lamenting the feeling of being “trapped” in a relationship or unable to pursue her desires out of some kind of fear, every f*cking time I have to witness someone leering voyeuristically (“it’s ok to look if you don’t touch”), it makes me so furious about how we’ve trapped ourselves in this one-option relationship system, accepting these symptoms of suffocation as inevitable instead of experimenting with the other possibilities. More than anything else, our commitment to supporting monogamy as the only option (other than “casual sex,” I guess, which is boring as f*ck and bad in other ways too) keeps us from being honest with each other. We’ve got to dare to address all these complexities of life and desire openly, even if it is painful.
We punk rockers always act like we’re such radical people, but when it comes down to acting, in practice, to try out radically different ways of living that might be more in line with our ideas (or just plain challenging, for once, not safe—nothing is more dangerous than playing it safe!), it doesn’t occur to us to question our programmed habits. All too often our revolutionary ideas are just badges, a different ideology for us to vote for, not catalysts for transforming life. This is an issue that affects everyone, where anarchist values can be tried out in the real world, but thus far I’ve seen very little discussion of this subject in our community; if we’re going to question the way the world works, we should take that home to our own personal relationships, and perhaps try out alternatives there first before proposing solutions to the ills of the world. That is—if we really have solutions to the ills of our society, let’s put those into practice to solve the ills of our own relations. Healer, heal thyself.
What an open relationship is:
The most important thing here is to get over the idea that a person’s value is measured by whether she alone can be “enough” for another person. The world is infinite, and so are we—no amount of living, no number or depth of interactions with others should be “enough” for any of us, just as no amount of interactions with a person you love will ever be “enough.” To set borders on what another person can do or feel, as a condition for them to be able to receive my love and affection, goes against everything I believe as an anarchist and a human being; I want to trust others to know what they need, and never limit them—and I certainly don’t think my life will be any richer from the limitations I place on others. We have to free each other to be and become ourselves. This isn’t just about other lovers or sex partners or friends, it’s also about other undertakings, needs, even the desire for space and solitude—it’s heartbreaking how much of our selves our lovers often ask us to sacrifice to be with them.
I want to be valued for what I am, for what I do naturally, not how well I conform to some pre-set list of needs that someone has. If someone else can fill some of those needs, I wouldn’t deny that to anyone, and I don’t want to be jealous when others have something different to offer; I just want the chance to offer what I have to give to those I love, and to remember that those things are priceless and not comparable to whatever unique gifts others may have. None of us should ever be saddled with the role of sole provider for someone’s needs (romantic or otherwise), anyway; our purpose on this earth is not to serve others, but to find ways to be ourselves in ways that also benefit others. By saying the rest of the world isn’t off limits to your partner, you free yourself of the job of being the whole world to your partner.
The monogamy system means that people hesitate to share themselves with others in certain ways, lest they become romantically involved—for since you can only have one romantic partner at a time, you have to make sure that your one partner is a good investment (and here we are back in the capitalist market even in our love relationships). Women check men out for financial means, men ponder whether a woman’s beauty is socially recognized enough to offer the prestige he hopes to get by having her at his side, and no one is able to experiment with partners who don’t meet enough of these criteria to be potential spouses. For that matter—just as in your friendships, there may be people in the world with whom you can spend some wonderfully romantic time once or twice a month, but with whom you don’t have enough in common to date steadily and then marry, etc. (although you often see such mismatched couples, who would have been happy as more sporadic partners, making each other miserable in fifty-year marriages). Non-monogamous relationships make such things possible without paying any price of mutual unhappiness.
I’ve decided that I no longer want to have a hierarchy of value between my friendships and my love relationships: they’re both crucial, irreplaceable in my life, and f*ck anyone who wants me to choose between any of them. Not only that, but I’ve stopped classifying things as “love” or “friendship” according to arbitrary superficial details—the feelings I share with certain friends are so intimate, so beautiful, that it’s ridiculous that I don’t call them lovers just because we don’t sleep together. It’s f*cking absurd that sex should be the dividing line between our relationships, between which ones take precedence, between who we play with, live with, sleep with, who we take care of first, who we die with at last.
By the same token, in open relationships, sex isn’t weighed down with so many implications and restrictions. Love and desire outside the lines of the monogamy model are demonized and attacked on every front in this society—in the lives of women, at least, and those men who don’t want to be monogamous but also despise the superficiality and sexist bullsh*t of the “player” scene are unlikely to find support in feminist circles, either. Sex should not be contained, and it should not be made symbolic of anything—it should simply be another way for people to be physically affectionate with each other, to give each other pleasure, to be intimate and emotionally expressive, taking equal responsibility for their involvement but without having to answer to some hypercritical mass, social expectation, or moral taboo.
An open relationship is just that: it is a relationship in which people can be open with each other, and with themselves—in which nothing need be hidden or suppressed or off limits, in which the whole world can be ours to explore without fear of transgressing imaginary boundaries. When we demand total openness and honesty from each other in relationships that include limits and taboos, we’re setting ourselves up for betrayals and dishonesty: to say “be open!” without being receptive to all of the possible truths is fascist and preposterous. We have to be supportive of each other, in every aspect of our individual characters, if we want real honesty to be possible. Otherwise, we’re like Christians at confession with each other, demanding that we reveal all out of some moral imperative, with the whip of shame ready for any straying impulse. We have to learn to embrace and celebrate anything that feels good for each other. If it’s good for our lovers, it’s good for us—are we really so selfish that we can’t see this?
For one example of how this could work, let’s go back to the story of our tour. On the tour, different individuals formed close bonds, and shared private worlds together like lovers do; but they also remembered that for the community to function, they couldn’t withdraw from their relationships with everyone else. And whenever two people needed a break from each other or wanted to expand their horizons a bit, they would spend more time with others, because there were always others around them who also had things to offer. Everyone was safe and cared for, and no one was left out, because we weren’t paired off in exclusive twos.
Conversely, the scarcity economy of lovers which we have right now makes each person hurry to pick another and chain her to him, before he is left alone forever. The alternative, which this fear of solitude prevents us from seeing, seems more preferable: a world without borders, in which each of us would be part of a broader family of lovers and friends, with no distinction made between the two—and no set format for any relationship, so experimentation would be a constant feature of every one, and no relationship could ever get dull or overwhelming. To get to such a world, we just have to get used to not limiting each other, to not thinking of love as a limited commodity.
Jealousy, and what I’ve learned from it:
Yes, I still feel jealous sometimes. I’ve had experiences before of being insanely jealous—not just of another man, but of other things my partners loved or experienced or were excited about. Being able to come to terms with these things has been very important in the development of my confidence and sense of self. It took me years to feel (not just understand) that if my lover loves other things or other people as well, it doesn’t mean I am less valuable. Besides, if (he or) she truly loves me, it’s not because I match up to some list of desired qualities that someone else can outmatch me at—she loves me for reasons that are unique to me, that no one else can compete with, so I have nothing to fear. Love isn’t a scarcity commodity—it increases, just like joy, the more it is permitted and shared and given away. I don’t feel like I have to hoard anyone all to myself now. I know that doesn’t work, or help to protect love (or me, for that matter).
I consider my jealousy a worthy adversary, one that can teach me a lot about myself if I confront it rather than trying to protect myself from it by controlling others. I’ve had experiences in relationships before where lovers of mine have limited themselves in order to protect me from my jealousy, and it has been catastrophic for both of us, you can imagine. It’s just as important to me now that I help others to not be “afraid for me” as it is that I learn not to be afraid for myself.
One of the things jealousy has taught me about is my attitude toward other men. It’s interesting for me to note that I’ve never felt threatened by women whom my partners were attracted to or involved with, but other men have always made me see red. In our society, men are conditioned not to trust each other, to hate each other, to try to “protect” women from other men (which often looks more like hoarding and protecting personal “property”), and this inclination makes sense when you look at how f*cked up many men are when it comes to interacting with women. But for me to not trust any men to be something good for my partners (past the point of limited friendship) is outright paranoia and territorial bullsh*t. If I trust the judgment of my partner, I should trust her to know what and who is good for her, and to not let my each-against-all male conditioning interfere.
Some objections I’ve heard raised to open relationships:
“It sounds good in theory, but the way people feel is more important than these abstractions…”
Some people think that we come up with ideas and theories not as solutions to the real problems of our lives, but to show off what good ideas we can come up with. If it’s not clear by now that I’ve been thinking about this as an attempt to solve rather than exacerbate the problems in my love relationships, then I apologize for doing such a poor job writing this article. And hey—if you think open relationships can be tough on your emotions, just try long-term monogamy. They’re both hard sometimes.
“But human nature—”
F*ck you. Enough said. Human nature is what we make it, and you know that too, whether or not you want to own up to it—you cowardly excuse-mongering bastards.
“I guess that’s fine if it’s what you want to try, but luckily I only want monogamy for myself! I’m all set!”
That’s great for you, if it really is true—for the time being, at least. We’re always so thrilled when our desires happen to coincide with social rules: then it’s easy for us to feel proud of our desires, to think they’re beautiful, since they are universally accepted (indeed, everything around you is reinforcing the idea that what you are lucky enough to feel for the moment is perfection itself)… but you might not always be that “lucky,” you know. Should you (or someone else) ever feel a need that isn’t satisfied by the monogamy system, if you haven’t already made the effort to get others to understand and accept the idea that there are many different acceptable kinds of relationships and desire, you’ll be back at ground zero, finding yourself misunderstood, hated, called slut and whore. Nobody should have to go through that, ever, so whatever you personally need, you have a stake in promoting non-monogamy as a viable option too. Otherwise, we’ll all live in fear of waking up one day feeling a desire that is unacceptable—and that fascist power of moralism over our lives is exactly what I thought we were trying to fight in punk rock.
That’s why I consider myself non-monogamous right now, even though I’ve only had sexual relations with one person over the past five months: I do what I do not out of a commitment to monogamy, but rather a commitment to meeting my own needs and those of others, with no f*cking regard for social norms—and to supporting others who do the same thing, whether or not they do it in the same way. Non-monogamy isn’t about sex, anyway—it’s a general approach to relationships with people, as I discussed above.
“Open relationships are bad for women—it’s just another way for men to be selfish, and absent when women need them…”
This is the kind of sexist remark I’d rather not have to deal with, but I’ve heard it before. It reminds me of the old myth that all [“good”] women want “responsible” monogamous relationships, and the ones who don’t must be confused [so it’s OK for us to look down on them, just as misogynist pigs call them sluts]. First of all, women have been the ones who introduced me to most of these ideas. Besides the women I know personally, the very best book I’ve been able to find on this subject (The Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt, on Greenery Press), which I would strongly recommend to anyone interested in the issue, is written by women [if you can’t find it, write me and I’ll lend you my copy]. Second of all, a lot of the men and women involved in pioneering different models for relationships over the past few decades have not been involved in heterosexual relationships, so in those cases this is a totally unfounded criticism. Third—people who say this make it sound like they think men are only emotionally nurturing to women who are paying them off for it with sex and denying them access to any other sex as a way to be sure the payoff will always work. God, I hope that’s not the best we can hope for in heterosexual relations…
Finally—yes, it’s true that men have been conditioned to be selfish and somewhat less than nurturing in their relationships, and just shifting relationship models is not going to cure that. But that’s going to be a problem in whatever kinds of relationships they have, not just open ones, and it has to be dealt with separately. A loving, caring boy is not going to go running off for sex with some stranger when his lover (or one of his lovers) really needs him. There are so many dangers in our sexuality, since so much of it has been programmed by our enemies; we men need to unlearn the pressures that make us seek out superficial sex as a way to avoid real intimacy and support. That brings me to the third objection:
“So does this mean you’re giving up on your romantic dreams, your hopes for living happily ever after, just trading them for a series of sexual episodes with acquaintances?”
No, not at all. I’m not interested in evading personal commitments and long term relationships—rather, I want to protect them from being unnecessarily at risk. I want to secure my romantic relationships, so they won’t be at risk from trivial things like temporary boredom or attraction to others, by creating relationships that are sustainable through changes in my life and needs. That way I can hope to have my lovers as long as I have my friends, ‘til death do us part for real, and no old taboos (or jealousy, insecurity, etc.) will interfere. Sure, this will be hard sometimes, just like everything is hard sometimes—but the rewards of making this work will be greater in every way, I think.
What I’m hoping to do here is free us from the unnecessary tragedies of our love affairs, the insecurities and possessiveness that deny us the commitment and pleasure we could have together. In order to be ready to remove those obstacles, we have to be ready to face the real tragedies head on, with great courage: we can’t demand that others protect us from our insecurities by limiting themselves, and we have to face the fact that there will be moments when we are alone. The price of not doing this is absurd—today, we suffer both the necessary and unnecessary tragedies in our relationships, because of the courage we lack. Is it too much to ask that we try something new?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [84] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Sweetiepie
[ 1 April 2009, 22:21 ]
Last night I went on a date (ooooh!) & the place was so iCiNG that I knew I had to write about it, just in case you’re ever in New York City & want a totally fun, luxe dining experience!
Sweetiepie in the West Village is completely over-the-top. It verges on being a saccharine visual assault. It is totally ridiculous. & of course it is a combination of these factors which makes it so brilliant.
Imagine this: a restaurant with mirrored walls & ceilings, vivid pink upholstery, golden flourishes & an enormous gilded bird-cage in the front window… in which you sit & eat your meal. It is out of this world. The story goes that the owner of Sweetiepie designed it for his young daughter, who had an Alice In Wonderland obsession. I think he wins the coolest daddy award.
So what does Sweetiepie have to offer, other than gobsmacking décor? There’s a menu of charming but potent1 cocktails (I personally endorse the Sweetiepie & the Bee’s Knees), a $75 ice-cream sundae which comes in the world’s most enormous parfait glass, a selection of cupcakes on the counter, a dessert cart covered in multi-coloured beauties, & well-dressed waiters. They wear bow-ties. Cute.
I was a little unsure going in, because Sweetiepie’s reviews on Yelp are certainly a mixed bag. Claims of poor service & uninspired food are rife, & yes, I could concede that most of these complaints are realistic. The service really isn’t top-notch, but once you actually manage to get your waiter’s attention, they are quite sweet & friendly. The food is really unusual, too — miniature burgers? Tater tots?! — but it’s tasty, I think it’s done well & is totally enchanting in its own way. This is not haute cuisine, it’s a fun, surreal experience, & as long as you go into it with the right mindset, you’ll have a fabulous time.
Plus, I believe that you get out of a situation what you put into it — & let’s face it, even the most dire restaurant can become a whirl of fond memories if you go there with someone who makes you laugh.
Gala recommends… Going there with your best friends for cocktails, decadent first dates, or treating your kid sister to a dinner she will never forget.
Top secret tips: If the bird-cage is occupied when you arrive, tell your waiter that you want to sit in it next. Take a camera! Be prepared to eat with your fingers! & dress up!
[1] Please note, I am quite a lightweight at the best of times, but I had one (1) Sweetiepie & either two (2) or three (3) Bee’s Knees (I forget) & didn’t realise quite how intoxicated I was until I got back to my house. We’re talking “Oh, the room is spinning” here. Beware! Danger, danger!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [52] Tags: consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!100 Things To Do When You're Upset (The Sad Trombone List)
[ 24 March 2009, 20:26 ]
Here are some ideas to help kick a rotten day to kingdom come…
Do something good for someone else, even though you may not want to. Do a favour, help them find something, give them an item which will help them in some way. Start the flow of positive energy.
Eat the best chocolate you can get your hands on. In bed. Or in the bath.
Turn up music you really love. Play it so loudly that it soaks in through your skin. Dance in your pyjamas. Feel the pain lift.
Have a romance in your head.
Volunteer.
Buy a remote control for your camera & dip your toes into the pool of narcissism.
Call a friend & ask them if they want to have a slumber party.
Throw yourself head-first into a creative project. Something that you’re excited about but which feels a little too big for you. You’ll be so consumed by it that it will fuel you for ages.
Do the splits. Or at least try. (Be gentle though!)
Sing. Loudly. Badly. Off-key. Whatever you like. It works. The last time I was on my way somewhere really nerve-wracking, I was in a cab. The radio was playing & I was so anxious that the only way I could distract myself was by singing along. Loudly. The driver probably thought I was a total nut but I didn’t care & it did the trick!
Cover your entire body in cocoa butter & fall asleep.
Drink 2 litres of fizzy drink (pop, soda, you know) & stay up until sunrise.
Write a list of things that you appreciate right now, in the present moment. Focus on each of them & let the love inside you well up. Even when things appear to be going really, really badly, there are always things to be happy about. (That’s one of the reasons why we do Things I Love Thursday — to help bring your attention back to the positive.)
Indulge in your “guilty pleasures”, whatever they are. (Old episodes of America’s Next Top Model, ginger ale, chocolate cake, romantic comedies, etc.)
Send a text message to one of the most interesting people you know — maybe someone you don’t know that well, just to say hello.
Order delivery food, just to bask in the glory of the fact that if you pay people, they will come to your door. With food. Warm, good food. What an age we live in, huh?
Look through old photos. With a friend if possible. If it’s an old friend, you can reminisce (“Oh my god, do you remember when we did that?!”), & if it’s a new friend, you can tell grand stories (“Well, let me tell you about this guy…”).
Listen to old Motown hits. Come up with dance moves. Wear something sparkly & work it out. (DJ Z-Trip’s Motown Breakdown is an excellent time, too.)
Write a gruellingly personal entry for your blog dissecting every aspect of the situation which has upset you so much. Post it, don’t post it, whatever, just get it out of your system.
Plan a holiday.
Write a ridiculous online dating profile & marvel at the people who come out of the woodwork. (“Oh, a threesome with you & your wife in New Jersey? Sign me up!”)
Spend an hour in your variety store of choice, set yourself a budget ($20?) & buy some junk. Lip treatments, candy, maybe an exfoliating scrub… Then go home & play with your new purchases. There’s a reason it’s called retail therapy, you know (though of course, it doesn’t last).
Wear a fake moustache all day.
Think up nicknames for all your friends, then send them each postcards to alert them.
Think back on the last really good sex you had. Think about it for an hour. Then do something else.
Go out for a milkshake.
Appreciate the dinosaur bones at your favourite museum.
Grab a friend, dress up like tourists & go & do all the really schlocky things on offer in your city. Take LOTS of photos, & be sure to flash the peace sign in 70% of them.
Stick little crystals on something you use every day. (Wallet, light-switch, key-ring, boots?)
Buy a new pair of sunglasses or non-prescription frames. It’s a super-easy (& often relatively cheap) way to evolve your look. Plus sunglasses make for excellent on-the-fly disguises.
Go to a yoga class. Surrender & breathe deep.
Put on your favourite pair of high heels & walk up & down your bedroom/hallway doing your best Miss J impersonation. Have a friend or neighbour who is willing to humour you offer critique. “Girl, you walk like a busted-down freight-train.”
Write multiple lists of everything you want. Material possessions, relationships, work, lifestyle, everything. Pin them up by your door so you see them all the time.
Go through Urban Dictionary & find some fun/ridiculous new words to add to your vocabulary.
Make yourself the biggest ice-cream sundae you’ve ever seen. Decorate it with hot fudge sauce, whipped cream, sprinkles, nonpareils, whatever you like. Take a photo. Give it a name (“Jane’s Orgasmatron Cardiac Arrest Sundae”). Devour. Maybe without using your hands. Take a photo of that too.
Get your eyebrows shaped.
Spend an hour in a department store sniffing perfume samples. When you find something you like, spray it on a card & drop it in your purse.
Try break-dancing.
Watch videos of flamboyant, successful people like Elton John or Michael Jackson & marvel.
Eat animal crackers.
Drink through a straw all day. If you get your hands on a straw which matches your outfit, so much the better.
Plan a party with a theme that makes you feel really, really happy.
Write a letter to yourself in the future. Then hide it. Maybe in the pocket of a coat you never, ever wear.
Leave the house wearing just fabulous lingerie underneath a coat. With heels. (Note: if you are a man you may get accused of being a flasher if you do this. The world is cruel sometimes.)
Pull a Kid CuDi & announce your retirement from the world of something. Like cooking, or vocal communication. Announce your unretirement whenever you feel like it.
Buy a harmonica & annoy the hell out of everyone while you learn how to play it.
Go wig shopping.
Choose a festival (SXSW? Burning Man? Coachella? Wave-Gotik-Treffen?) to go to, invite some friends, & start making plans.
Add diamantes to your manicure.
Hula hoop.
Buy some really good art for your walls. Posters, prints, original artwork or other. If you’re feeling impoverished, go to the library, check out some art books, then take huge, great quality photocopies at a copy shop.
Listen to Never Better by P.O.S. from start to finish & revel in what a great album it really is.
Load up your ipod & go for a walk through your favourite park.
Visit a cool toy store & make your friend a surprise package.
Reach out to the people who inspire you but who don’t know you exist.
Write the birthdays of your personal heroes in your planner & work out a way to honour them on that day.
Pie.
Colour your hair. (You can always dye it back.)
Notice where you hold tension in your body, & let it go.
Visit some kind of religious institution & observe a service.
Bake heart- or bunny-shaped cookies. Give them away.
Be graceful.
Be graceless.
Make a video diary.
Answer questions with questions.
Try on a pair of really, really expensive shoes & act like you’ll be back tomorrow, but you’re just going to go home & think about it. (Bonus points: take a photo of you in them. Often you will need to be stealthy about this but it’s worth doing.)
Record yourself trying to recite the alphabet while vigorously brushing your teeth.
Flirt with entirely inappropriate people.
Sing into your friend’s answering machine. (If you’re in the USA & use Slydial, it will take you straight to their voicemail.)
Pour pancakes in the shape of your initials. Eat them while watching aerobics on television.
Make friends with your neighbours.
Think about how great it would be to name a shaggy dog “Toupee”.
Go to an audition just for the experience.
Tell someone cute, “You’re cute”.
Sit in a sauna with a stack of fashion magazines & sweat it out.
Find a secret place with a great view. Like a tree, or a rooftop, or a hill.
Go & see a musical (or just rent one).
Be optimistic.
Buy ridiculous slippers.
Make a list of the things you want to do to celebrate the upcoming season.
Lie down in the sunshine.
Pretend to be a dancer in a music video as you perform mundane tasks. Jiggle your way from the bathroom to the kitchen, shake it while you wait for your toast to pop, booty bump while you pick an outfit.
Go to an aquarium & take photos of the jellyfish.
Watch movies you used to love as a child.
Book a karaoke room with friends & sing your heart out.
Make a list of practical, actionable ways you can improve your situation.
Start keeping a dream journal & write down their supposed meanings, too.
See if you can develop an appreciation for a band or a style of music you’ve never liked before.
Write a play.
Go to vintage stores looking for fabulous old typewriters.
Write the stuff you like about your body on your body with a marker.
Change your ring-tone to the sound of one of your friends laughing hysterically.
Watch videos of Robin Williams or Eddie Murphy.
Listen to Divine Harvest by The Mae Shi. Don’t be worried, everything will turn out fine. Don’t be worried, friend just put your hand in mine.
Take a nap with your head at the other end of the bed.
Walk around a garden centre & buy a colourful plant. Give it a name.
Go somewhere that people walk their dogs & make friends with some fluffy creatures.
Hug your friends.
Tell someone everything.
Believe that everything is always getting better.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [175] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Different Ways To Think About Money
[ 10 March 2009, 13:14 ]
(Idea borrowed from Louise L. Hay avec beaucoup d’amour.)
Here’s a thought exercise or experiment that’s been on my mind lately. How about changing your behaviour & feelings about bills or due payments? What about if you didn’t curse & swear when you received a bill in the mail? What if you thought of it as a blessing? Examine it without emotion — that company or person trusts & loves you enough to supply you with something even before you pay! How amazing is that?!
It’s like a message from the universe that it has faith that you can easily generate that money. Think of it like a little cheerleader saying, “You can do it!”
Pay your bills with love & gratitude & it will keep the positive flow going. After all, how does being angry or upset about a bill serve you?
To quote Mobb Deep, there’s numerous ways you can choose to earn funds! Don’t feel like you need to know where the money is coming from — just know it’s here, ready & ripe for you to pluck out of the ether when you want it.
I know that for some of us this is a quantum leap in our thinking & it may take some time to believe. You might have to consciously adjust your thoughts on the subject more than once. But the more you think it, the more true it becomes for you.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [74] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Disneyland Chic
[ 9 March 2009, 17:25 ]
My new digs.
Dressing for Disneyland — or Disneyworld — is a multi-faceted affair.
While the unofficial uniform of Disney guests appears to be jeans & a t-shirt, & no one clad in that garb seems to be complaining, Disneyland is an amazing place, & I think a special effort should be made. After all, the photo opportunities are unparalleled — when you look back at your snaps from the day, odds are excellent that you’ll wish you hadn’t worn that shirt with the stains & your old running shoes!
However, it’s not as simple as just throwing on your most ridiculous ball gown, because it might not fit into the roller-coaster cars… & a pair of fabulous heels may look beautiful but it won’t be worth the anguish, since a day at Disney is long! So how do you strike a balance between looking cute & still being able to run around like a nut?
Jazzi, Gala & Nubby.
Exhibit A: The Footwear
Think about your shoes. Realistically, they’re the most important part of your outfit. If you’re really cold & worst comes to worst, you can always borrow your friend’s sweater or buy something in one of the Disney shops — but if your feet hurt, your day is pretty much over already. It sounds simple but it’s true: it’s hard to be happy if you’re wearing uncomfortable shoes.
Yesterday I wore my Frye Veronica Shortie boots, while Jazzi wore her patent leather Doc Martens & Nubby wore her Chloe combat boots. We are all typically fans of high heels & going for the most ridiculous footwear we can find, but today practicality won out so we could spend as much time as possible at the happiest place on earth.
Having said this, even though we wore our most comfortable shoes, we were all in agony by the end of the day & taking every opportunity we could to sit down… I suppose this is why the shoe of choice at Disneyland appears to be sneakers. Whatever you wear, I would recommend throwing some of those cushy padded gel insoles into the mix.
Exhibit B: The Outfit
Time to consider what you’ll actually wear. This is the really meaty part of your ensemble, since it’s what most people will see (& what will be visible in the majority of your photos). So how do you want to rock it?
Gala wore…
Sequinned ears (I took my ‘Gala’ maus hat but also bought pink sequinned ears & a pink discoball hat with ears, so they were all on rotation)
Oversized New York t-shirt
Pyramid stud belt
Yellow tulle petticoat (bought from secret vintage treasure trove!)
Sequinned jacket from Forever 21
Black stockings
Frye Veronica Shortie boots
Neon pink handbag
Bracelets & rings etc.
Nubby wore…
Black sequinned ears (she cut the bow off on the ride home)
Nubby nameplate necklace
‘The Sidewalk Never Ends’ t-shirt
Black cardigan
Black shorts from Forever 21
Black knee-highs
Red Chloe wedge boots
White Miu Miu handbag
Jazzi wore…
Disney name hat & alternating grey beanie
Glasses from Urban Outfitters
Alice dress
Black stockings
Patent leather Doc Marten boots
Whatever you decide, my suggestion would be to dress in layers. While Disneyland & Disneyworld are both in warm locations — California & Florida — that doesn’t mean the weather is pristine all the time, & in fact, we were quite cold today. So make sure you take something which is going to keep you warm, & I’d suggest avoiding bare legs unless you go in the height of summer.
Exhibit C: Extras
This could go in a bunch of different ways — for example, what kind of bag are you going to take & what are you going to put in it? (Sunglasses, camera, bubble mixture, flask of alcohol?) What are you going to take with you in terms of keeping warm? (Cardigan, blazer, scarf, cape?) What sort of accessories are you going to wear? (Fingerless gloves, huge pendant necklaces, sequinned ears, huge hair bow?) Let’s break it down now.
Gala’s bag contained…
Nikon D80 camera; Flip Mino HD; wallet; Helio Ocean; heart-shaped glitter coin purse; bottle of water; lip balm; index cards; pen; sunglasses; non-prescription frames.
For warmth, I took…
My sequinned hooded jacket, & I needed it. I wore it pretty much all day. It really wasn’t that warm!
My accoutrements were…
Constant rotation of hats & ears, pink Too Late watch, blue goldstone bracelet, Lolita I.D. bracelet, two Swarovski crystal bracelets, Tarina Tarantino ring, wedding ring.
Jazzi’s bag contained…
She actually didn’t bring a bag. She does not know why. She carried everything in her hands & shortly before we left the park, she lost her debit card & had to call & cancel it. Let this be a lesson to you!
For warmth, she took…
Her friend’s hooded sweater. It was mad cute.
Her accoutrements were…
None!
Nubby’s bag contained…
Camera, cellphone, wallet, room key, lip gloss, powder, heart-shaped sunglasses & an extra pair of shoes (which she didn’t wear).
For warmth, she took…
A black cardigan.
Her accoutrements were…
Watch, nameplate necklace, maus ears.
Exhibit D: Final Notes
The thing about Disneyland is that it’s important to be prepared, but don’t pack so much that you’re going to lose things when you go screaming around the corners on Space Mountain!
Another thing to keep in mind is to take it easy. Yeah, it’s expensive to get in & you want to do as much as you can, but it’s better to do less & enjoy it more than to race around like a maniac & feel stressed out. There’s so much to do & look at that it’s extremely unlikely you’ll manage to cover it all in a day. In our case, we only managed 4 rides (Haunted Mansion, Matterhorn, Space Mountain & the Mad Teaparty) before we were completely exhausted.
Also, be sure to take plenty of cash. There is food everywhere & they pipe buttery popcorn scent all around the park, so trust me when I say you’re going to want things you might normally resist. In the mood for cupcakes, chocolate-dipped strawberries, chilli in a bread-bowl, a bag of taffy or an enormous ice-cream sundae? You’ve got it! I didn’t see a single ATM as I walked around even though I’m sure they exist, & the smaller stalls which sell coffee don’t take credit cards, so be ready for that!
Die-hard Disney-goers will often take a picnic lunch or pack snacks, which is probably the most economical & practical thing to do, but it’s probably less fun. I feel like part of the glee of going to a theme park is just eating whatever you want & not giving it a second thought. It’s part of the experience, isn’t it?!
Above all, the most important thing is that you go with people you like. They always say that travelling is the way to ascertain whether a relationship has lasting potential, but I think a good, solid day at Disneyland is a pretty accurate gauge too. You’ll really find out whether you like someone when you have to stand next to them in line for an hour with sore feet & twinkling music swirling around your head, trust me!
Thankfully, when I have my wife by my side, everything is alright.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [74] Tags: aesthetic,
daily outfit,
how to,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Inder Bedi Of Matt & Nat
[ 5 March 2009, 00:31 ]
I was introduced to Matt & Nat a little while ago by some clued-up nonpareils! After mentioning their company on my site, my friend made an introduction, & gave me the opportunity to ask Inder, the director of Matt & Nat, a few questions about his business, his vision & why he does what he does! I thought you might be introduced in hearing about his point of view, so without further ado…
Name: Inder Bedi
Age: 35
Location: Montreal
What is Matt & Nat’s vision?
We aim to strike that delicate balance between being fashionably creative and innovative while being conscious of our choices affect our environment and all its beings.
I heard a rumour that Matt & Nat’s very earliest beginnings came from a personal dare to go without animal products for 30 days! Obviously that month had a major impact on you. How did those 30 days begin to reshape your life into what it is today?
Those 30 days totally changed my life! Was asked by a priest to go vegetarian for 30 days when I was 18. It ended up sticking after the 30 days, learned more about vegetarianism, animal rights and eventually went vegan. Led to me to write a business plan in university (for a class I tried not to take!) as a frustrated vegan consumer that wanted items that were eco/vegan but still innovative and sexy, this led to the founding of M&N.
What is the creative process like for you? What are the steps between an idea in your head & a bag on someone’s shoulder? Do you work alone or with a team? Do you design with a certain type of person in mind?
We have a great design team of 4 including myself. We basically soak in everything out there from music to architecture to art to interesting things that inspire us in travels along with some trends in terms of colors, bag styles and then come up with our own thing, that hopefully stands out amongst everything else out there.
Like to describe our customer put there as someone ‘who is looking for more’, going beyond traditional demographics. Innovation is a big focus for us as well. All of our linings are currently made out of 100% recycled water bottles that look like suede.
Who would you love to see rocking Matt & Nat style?
The Dalai Lama! Ha!
What are the biggest challenges you face?
We are distributed in some great stores which is the tough part in terms of ‘breaking in’ in our industry. The challenge now is to ensure that consumers who pick up the brand also know what it stands for as when they do find out, it’s a great bonus, awareness is now key for us…
What is your absolute favourite thing about what you do?
The first would be the creativity aspect whether it’s a new material, new style or new hardware etc., when you work weeks on a style and it finally turns out the way you want and you know it’s going to be HOT, it’s very rewarding!
The other are the emails we get from customers who thank us for creating a product that they not only love to rock but also appeals to their inner spirit, also very rewarding :)
Can you tell us any secrets about your next range?
We’re stepping up the recycled water bottles and taking them on the outside shells of the bags, a suede collection for women and felt for men, both made completely out of recycled water bottles
What is Samsara all about? Curious minds want to know!
Samsara (rebirth in Sanskrit) are the younger siblings to M&N (Sam et Sara), the price points will be more entry level. For each bag sold we will donate $1 to a charity through an interactive web site where consumers can actually go and choose where the money goes. Will launch in Canada for spring and the U.S for fall.
What hints would you give to people who want to become more eco-conscious, but don’t know where to begin?
There are several sites that offer starter kits for vegetarians as I’m sure there are for people who want to be more green. Goveg.com offers some great starter kits and stats on the environmental benefits of going veg. Guess the key is initially making little changes in your life and building from there.
Tell us which other companies you find inspiring & why.
Love it when companies find a way to show you that you can be fashionably fierce and still have a higher conscious… Fisker Rama (ex designer for BMW, Aston martin) just designed an electric car that is a piece of art… it’s a pretty materialistic example but is damn beautiful!
Who is your favourite author?
Don’t really have one, currently reading The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma.
What’s in heavy rotation on your headphones this week?
My sales manager turned me on to trentemoller, wicked stuff…
If you could invite anyone to dinner, who would it be & what would you serve?
I would invite YOU and serve you a bigger mac and mac n’cheese catered from Madelaines. Staying in L.A. this week and had dinner there last night, one of the best vegan restos I’ve had the pleasure of dining at…
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [24] Tags: consumption,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Dream Girls Wear Dream Outfits
[ 2 March 2009, 20:24 ]
Mars had a tattoo of her ex-boyfriend’s name on her forearm, just below her elbow. When people asked her why she didn’t get it covered up, she said she liked having it as a reminder never to date someone so ridiculous again. She loved listening to Lou Reed as she walked to work & trying to think up colours that had never been seen before.
Rita was so little she had to sit on a stack of foreign fashion magazines so she could see over the steering wheel, but always drove carefully. She dreamed of being Kanye West’s assistant & of interviewing Karl Lagerfeld. She loved boys who wore bow-ties, mixing high- & low-end fashion, & waffles from the toaster.
Kate was a Virgo, through & through, but she kept her astrology obsession to herself. During the day she worked in a public relations firm, making loud phone-calls as she walked down the street at a brisk pace & keeping meticulous to-do lists. But when she went home, she liked nothing better than an hour of yoga, an organic meal & plotting her week based on what her online horoscope told her.
Jamie liked noisy accessories. Necklaces which clinked together, bracelets which jangled, belts which chimed against one another. It made her feel like she had her very own percussion section. Her favourite thing to do was sit on the floor surrounded by magazines, scissors, glue & blank paper, & make things. Zines. Love letters. Collages. She thought that anything that might give her a nasty paper-cut was worth doing.
Thoroughly Modern Millie Minnie. Rather than suffering through her parents’ naming choices, Minnie decided to embrace & embody it. She always wore ears to class & was deeply in love with her new fingerless Louis Vuitton gloves. She liked to sit in her chair & look pensive, even though secretly she wasn’t thinking about anything: just listening to the wind in the trees.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [72] Tags: consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 25/28
[ 24 February 2009, 15:59 ]
“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” — Paulo Coelho
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [22] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Lightcasting February 2009
[ 23 February 2009, 21:53 ]
I wrote about Lightcasting Day last month, explaining what it is & why we should (or can) do it. Well, it’s that time again! I thought I’d tell you what each sign should be focussing on this month in order to make optimal progress! Mega-big-ups, props & thanks to SoulGarden for all the excellent work they do & information they provide!
Aquarius Your self-esteem & self-worth. If you think about it, everything you want to generate comes from loving yourself. If you want to make money, you have to believe you’re valuable; if you want to be in love, you have to believe you’re loveable! Everything stems from there.
Pisces This month is about generating a new persona & a new ego. This also extends to the kind of first impressions you make & how you behave within the world. Happy? Defensive? Passive? It’s up to you!
Aries Breaking old cycles, getting rid of old fears & changing habits which don’t serve you any more. Do you feel tethered to a relationship or job which isn’t making you happy? What do you want to end for good?
Taurus Your role in society — the friends you have, the people you know & how you feel about your position in the world are all in focus this month. Visualise the social life you want to have!
Gemini Your career, work & legacy. This is a great time to think about what kind of work you’d like to be doing, think about the kind of recognition you want & the sort of impact you want to make on the world.
Cancer Changing your beliefs. Some of your old beliefs may not be working for you, & it’s time to shake them up. Open your mind & your horizons will expand. This also covers the areas of education, learning or travel.
Leo Boundaries & intimacy. Do you let people get too close, or not close enough? Do you always say yes — or always say no? How do you want to re-draw these lines?
Virgo Marriages. This basically means rethinking anything you have a long-term commitment to, like intimate relationships, best friends, careers & even the way you relate to yourself!
Libra It’s time for a lifestyle change! How would you like your daily life to be? Changing your lifestyle will impact on everything else, too. Visualise how you’d like your life to look in the future.
Scorpio Personal dreams, thinking big & looking after your inner child! You know what it is you really want, it might just be that you haven’t been listening. Pay attention & dream big!
Sagittarius Focus on your foundations. This means how you treat yourself, your home life, & recovering from or processing early childhood experiences which have impacted on you. See yourself moving on & learning, or decide to manifest a peaceful home life.
Capricorn Consider your attitude towards life — is it working for you? It’s a good time to journal or talk to your friends about how you’re feeling, it will help you get clarity & renewed focus for manifesting a better attitude.
If you’re kind of in tune with the universe & use your intuition quite well, you might have noticed that the issues relevant to your sign are already quite big in your life. For the last week or so, I’ve been thinking about relationships & work a lot — even more than usual, haha! So take the things you’ve churning around your head, write them down, & then use them as fuel to work out what you want.
I just did my lightcasting for the day, & rather than just thinking about it or visualising it — which can kind of seem a bit airy-fairy & maybe like you’re “not doing it properly” — I employed a new technique which I feel really good about!
I turned to a new page in my Moleskine journal & made three headings. Since Virgos are looking at marriages, there were three areas I wanted to look at: love or intimate relationships, work & career, & the way I relate to & treat myself. Then I stepped away from the computer (always helpful!) & started making some notes in all 3 categories. What did I want? What did I not want? How did I want to feel about it? Then when I felt like it was complete, I took a big drink of water & did a bunch of rounds of EFT while I read it aloud to myself & visualised it at the same time.
The bonus of using EFT is that it helps you clear any internal or subconscious resistance you might have to the things you’re going after. For example, if you say you want a loving relationship but you’re actually afraid of getting close to people, there’s going to be a conflict of interest. As long as you have that fear — even if you’re not aware you have it, which happens all the time — you’re going to find it difficult to manifest the things you want. EFT helps break that stuff down, & I’ve found it’s also extremely useful for helping you realise where your blockages or issues are.
What are your best tips, tricks, secrets or techniques for visualising or manifesting things in your life?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [33] Tags: astrology,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
productivity,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 24/28
[ 23 February 2009, 15:57 ]
“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, & you believe you are living. Then you read a book, or you take a trip, & you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous & might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. & then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, & it awakens them & saves them from death.” — Anais Nin
P.S. Today is Lightcasting Day! Get on it!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [22] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 23/28
[ 22 February 2009, 15:57 ]
You are this incredible treasure, a shining jewel in the shape of a girl or boy (or unicorn), & you have no idea. You are a gift. Your presence here is important, your thoughts & dreams & loves & heartache enrich the world. Realise how cherished & amazing you are, right now. You will not be any more wonderful or valuable when you lose ten pounds, or become a millionaire, or get married.
Recognise what you are & make a promise that you will be a love letter to the universe forever, a valentine to all the people & all the stars. The more love you give away, the more true it becomes, & while it can be hard at first, it gets easier — I promise, pinky-swear. You & I are in alignment. This is our secret pact. Write it down & keep it close. I will do my best & you do yours, okay?
Decide to fall in love with the world & it will swoop you up in its arms & smother you with kisses. You will get all your joy & excitement back a million times over. This is real, this is how it works. Even when you feel hard & cold & angry, you have more love to give away than you could ever believe possible. It is infinite like galaxies. Just give it away. Imagine cartoon hearts in hot pink & vivid red floating out of your chest & popping over the heads of everyone, showering them with hope & blessings & encouragement, & your life will begin to change. It will become this sparkling carousel of magic & wonder.
I love you & I believe in you & you deserve to be happy, always.
This piece I wrote will appear in Lindsey Markel’s upcoming zine, You Are Among Friends — details as I have them!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [55] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 19/28
[ 18 February 2009, 17:16 ]
Start the day as you mean to go on. If today didn’t begin that well, make tomorrow better. Take an extra moment to eat a breakfast that sets you up for how you want to eat for the rest of the day. (For example, it’s easier to eat a raw lunch or dinner if you start with a smoothie or fruit — the more we eat of something, the more we want it.) Listen to a selection of your favourite songs instead of filling your head with chatty morning radio or television. Take your vitamins, smile at the bus-driver, be charming. It’s not that tricky, & it will help to start your day positively. Even if the rest of the day is filled with challenges, at least you ate a good breakfast & embarked on the day with a sparkly outlook!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [17] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Stories: Love
[ 16 February 2009, 18:51 ]
The other day I was looking out a window, thinking about the people that read this site, & how interesting they (you!) all are. Every time I post something, you reveal a little bit more of yourselves, & it’s amazing to me. Imagine the collective knowledge, creativity & magic if we put all our brains in a database!
I want to give you more of an opportunity to participate in iCiNG. So I had this idea that we could do regular story-telling sessions, where we all write about one topic.
What you tell us doesn’t even have to be true, it can be pure imagination if you’d prefer, but honestly I think real life is stranger & more wonderful than fiction…
The first topic is love, romance, infatuation, deliciousness. What do you remember?
For me, it’s Virgo poet boys who write about you & send you their work to critique. It’s people who write your initials + theirs inside a heart on a picnic table. It’s being presented with a dozen cupcakes when I arrived in New York, sneaking through casinos with my Virgo wife, & men who buy you a copy of their favourite book. It’s waltzing with my almost-lover at 4am to Frank Sinatra. It’s boys who sing to you in the botanical gardens & boyfriends who throw you surprise birthday parties in extravagant hotel rooms. It’s bat signals & entire albums written about you & unexpected phonecalls. It’s signs from the universe just when I stopped thinking about him. It’s the way the air between us is electric. It’s those moments of sweet wonder when everything falls into place. It’s stacks & stacks of letters, notebooks full of heartbreak which served as a kind of prayer, & holding hands in foreign countries.
Tell us about your sweetest moments!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [244] Tags: inspiration,
life,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 16/28
[ 16 February 2009, 06:30 ]
listen to the mustnts, child,
listen to the donts
listen to the shouldnts,
the impossibles,
the wonts
listen to the never haves,
then listen close to me…
anything can happen, child,
anything can be.
— Shel Silverstein.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [22] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 15/28
[ 15 February 2009, 05:55 ]
“Make for yourself a world you can believe in. It sounds simple, I know. But it’s not. Listen, there are a million worlds you could make for yourself. Everyone you know has a completely different one — the woman in 5G, that cab driver over there, you. Sure, there are overlaps, but only in the details. Some people make their worlds around what they think reality is like. They convince themselves that they had nothing to do with their worlds’ creations & continuations. Some make their worlds without knowing it. Their universes are just sesame seeds & three-day weekends & dial tones & skinned knees & physics & driftwood & emerald earrings & books dropped in bathtubs & holes in guitars & plastic & empathy & hardwood & heavy water & high black stockings & the history of the Vikings & brass & obsolescence & burnt hair & collapsed soufflés & the impossibility of not falling in love in an art museum with the person standing next to you looking at the same painting & all the other things that just happen & are. But you want to make for yourself a world that is deliberately & meticulously personalized. A theater for your life, if I could put it like that. Don’t live an accident. Don’t call a knife a knife. Live a life that has never been lived before, in which everything you experience is yours and only yours. Make accidents on purpose. Call a knife a name by which only you will recognize it. Now I’m not a very smart man, but I’m not a dumb one, either. So listen: If you can manage what I’ve told you, as I was never able to, you will give your life meaning.” — Jonathan Safran Foer, A Convergence Of Birds.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [38] Tags: inspiration,
life,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 13/28
[ 13 February 2009, 01:53 ]
“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas & plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” — Napoleon Hill
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [20] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 12/28
[ 12 February 2009, 03:32 ]
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [13] Tags: inspiration,
life,
video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 11/28
[ 10 February 2009, 13:30 ]
Today’s exercise is to be grateful for your body & mind for all they do for you.
The more we appreciate our lives, the better things get. If you wake up thinking about how wobbly or unattractive you feel, the cycle of self-loathing is more likely to lead you to the cookies than the gym. You’ll probably get a major case of “What’s the point?”, & do something that doesn’t really honour who you are. But if you take a moment to think about how happy you are with your pedicure, your eyes, the muscles in your legs — whatever it is, even if it’s just something small — that positive energy will help fuel & power you towards making a choice that is good for you.
Take some time today to think about how crazy, sexy & cool you are. Focus on those feelings until they’re so wild & bright that you feel like you might spontaneously combust. Then take a breath & go about your day. See what a difference it makes!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [28] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 10/28
[ 9 February 2009, 19:21 ]
Remember this?! If so, you’re old school!
To get you through your challenge today, I want you to think of someone you idolise or admire. For me those people might be Diana Vreeland or Madonna — the people I model myself after tend to be strong, polarising, ambitious women. Think about a goal they might have had in the past; then imagine what steps they would take to make it happen.
Now think about your own goals. How can you channel your role models in achieving what you want? If Madonna wanted to do more yoga, she’d do more yoga, & no one could hold her back. She would be an unstoppable force. Similarly, if Diana Vreeland was putting together an issue of Vogue & they were approaching deadline, do you think she’d just go home & put her feet up? Hell no! She’d light a cigarette, slug back a bit of vodka & get the job done.
Imagine your idol is watching you today. Now, do them proud.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [44] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Vivienne Westwood Says "Dress Up; Do It Yourself!"
[ 9 February 2009, 15:00 ]
Vivienne Westwood is brilliant. (Thanks, Tricia!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [29] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Gala's Valentine's Day Gift Guide
[ 8 February 2009, 21:19 ]
Valentine’s Day. A time of super-cute awesomeness or an overly-commercial swindle? It’s totally up to you!
I think Valentine’s Day is great, even though this is going to be the first time I haven’t had a valentine in years. (Maybe we could all be each others’ valentine!) Love is magnificent & should be celebrated every chance we get, & even if you feel like there isn’t a lot of that around you, take this opportunity to celebrate the love that is coming to you, right now. Feel it, believe it, visualise it, soak it up. Yum yum!
If you actually look at it, Valentine’s Day is a really interesting phenomenon. For example, in 2008 in Saudi Arabia, religious police banned any Valentine’s Day items (even anything red!) from being sold on February 14th, considering it an un-Islamic holiday — & so created a black market for roses & wrapping paper! How amazing is that?!
So here’s my disclaimer. I know a lot of people dislike Valentine’s Day because it’s such an exercise in consumerism. I have heard “Why should we only celebrate love on one day?!” as an argument more than enough times. Fair enough. I hear you. I’ve got your number. But — let me be blatantly honest here — that doesn’t give you an excuse to be a mean, party-pooping tight-ass. You might think you’re being awesome & anti-establishment but your girlfriend still feels bad when everyone but her gets flowers. Okay? So do something. Anything. It doesn’t have to cost money! Give your partner a great massage, make their favourite meal, go for a walk & have a good discussion about something, whatever you like — just be as cool a person as you know you can be!
Having said all of this, here are some things I’ve found while trawling around the internet that I think would make great Valentine’s Day gifts for your lover, spouse, best friend or even yourself! (I find it hard to resist heart-shaped items at the best of times.) A lot of these items come from Etsy. Buy handmade where you can!
Put it on: clothing, accessories & other treats
Conversation hearts are one of the coolest things ever, but I don’t think they taste too wonderful, so why not take the concept & expand on it? J2 Jewelry will customise a silver conversation heart on a chain. Wicked awesome. I Sew Cute makes resin heart necklaces — I like this one filled with red & pink nonpareils, but then, I would! Here’s another conversation heart necklace from Fatally Feminine, except this time it’s pink & sparkly, & Maisey Handmade makes candy heart felted fingerless mitts, perfect for your cutie.
Margaux Lange is clever; her necklace The Kiss proves it! (The rest of her stuff is pretty incredible too. Barbie boobie heart, anyone?!)
Freyagushi is mega-talented. I love her Medical Contessa Couture corset. A lot.
Safe sex is rad. Why not present loverboy with a selection of condoms with a picture of the two of you on them?! Why not, indeed! If that’s a bit weird for you, how about Trevor Brown or Coop condoms, a hallowe’en assortment, tri-colour or kimono colour condoms or a bottle of Astroglide?
Moving along…
Ahhhrt: making you cooler & smarter than everyone else since the dawn of time
My friend Star is an incredible illustrator. Why don’t you buy a birdcage heart shirt or a print of one of her cute girls?
Sam Brown of Exploding Dog is doing an awesome Valentine’s Day print special. Plus if you order today, it should arrive just in the nick of time!
My friends at Phokki (who are sponsoring me this week, woo!) offer a wicked service where they’ll turn a photo into art! Want an amazing portrait done of you & your beloved? Hollaaaaa!
JustMyLuckDesigns has conversation heart vinyl wall stickers in any colour you like. Studio JK does them too. If you share a place with your lover, put them on the wall as a surprise!
Mix it up: a menagerie of alternative ideas!
Call your favourite cupcakerie & have them send 6 or 12 cupcakes in a tantalising flavour to the object of your affections. Even better, make your own & buy some toppers to stick in them. Goosegrease does cute stamped dolls which would make anyone smile, but honestly, Etsy is a major treasure trove for that kind of thing!
Embark on a three day raw passion sextox. Uh huh!
If you & your kissing buddy like nothing better than going to the movies, get them a book of cinema vouchers. Borrow your friend’s boat & have lunch on the ocean. Make out in public. Present her with a slew of concert tickets for the next 6 months. Pay his extravagant library fines. Write a song. Buy them a copy of your favourite book. Get two tickets to Burning Man. Buy an orchid & decorate the pot with crystals. Plan a scavenger hunt. Paint something. Buy them a new pair of speakers or headphones. Fill up their iPod with some of your favourite songs. Take a bubble bath together & talk about the future. Go out dancing. Adopt an animal together from your local pet shelter (but think about it first!). If you’re in England, build them a snowman! Or you could just show up looking devilishly marvellous & get it on!
It’s all about you, baby
Valentine’s Day is also an excellent excuse to splurge on yourself. Like you needed one! At least, I hope you didn’t!
Don’t have a boyfriend, girlfriend, lover or crush? First of all, kudos for not being in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of being with someone! Secondly, be good to yourself. Valentine’s Day is about love, & of course the most important person to love is yourself! Go & get a facial or a luxurious massage. Buy devastatingly fabulous lingerie & celebrate the fact that you’re your own lover! Agent Provocateur & Kiki De Montparnasse are perennial favourites, but I just discovered Hopeless & I’m head over heels. I don’t even like cats & that stuff makes me want to say meow. My friends at Madame Rouge have put together a fabulous Valentine’s Day deal on their Nouveau Ruffle set — I own the whole set & love it like mad, the bra especially. It is sauce central! So here it goes: if you quote “freebriefs” when you check out, it will either give you a g-string for nothing, or treat you to the boy shorts for only $6! Woo woo!
Make yourself smell delicious with a lick of fragrance from LuckyScent (my favourite). This double-decker window necklace is perfect for the sassy single girl (or your sassy single best friend). Deck yourself out in a poofy neon tutu & rock the city without apologies. Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday this year, so no excuses! Go PINK! Buy yourself an incredible dress or something fun from New York Couture. Hit up your favourite sex boutique for some premium self-lovin’. Crank up the music & hoop until you can’t hoop any more. Send emails to all your favourite people telling them exactly why you love them. Bake cookies & write obscene words on them. Make a teepee in your living room & spend the day writing inside it.
Random Valentine’s Day fun
Valentine’s Day is also a great time to go wild on all the heart-shaped treasures which the stores are crammed with right now. If you’re a fan of red or hot pink, even better! You could deck out an entire palace with the stuff that’s available this month! Even better, on the 15th it all goes on sale! Snap it up!
Throw a Valentine’s Day party.
Go for a spin on a ferris wheel. (There is method behind my madness, I swear.)
Make miniature chilli chocolate cupcakes with chilli chocolate ganache frosting. I have made these before, & they are unbelievable.
So… what are you doing for Valentine’s Day? I’m thinking about booking myself into a spa during the day, & getting dressed up & going out dancing with a bunch of friends that night. Sounds perfect to me!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [61] Tags: consumption,
inspiration,
life,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 9/28
[ 8 February 2009, 17:48 ]
Okay, it’s Monday. We’re well into our second week of the iCiNG Transformation Challenge, so it’s time to reassess. What’s working so far & what isn’t? What can you alter in your lifestyle to help support what you want to do?
Would it be helpful if you changed your routines? Set a schedule? Watched an hour less of television every night?
There are two things which assist me in eating a high level of raw & getting a lot of hooping in. The first is having lots of yummy raw snacks around, especially raw chocolate — so stocking up at the organics store is important. Secondly, I get so much more enjoyment out of hooping when I have good music to listen to while I do it, so keeping my music collection topped up is a big one too!
How about you?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [41] Tags: inspiration,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 8/28
[ 7 February 2009, 17:25 ]
“My idea of feminism is self-determination, & it’s very open-ended: every woman has the right to become herself, & do whatever she needs to do.” — Ani DiFranco
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [26] Tags: inspiration,
quote,
video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 7/28
[ 7 February 2009, 04:47 ]
“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” — Mohandas Gandhi
You are so much stronger than you realise.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [29] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 6/28
[ 5 February 2009, 17:08 ]
It’s been almost a week, & even though progress might seem slow, you’re doing amazingly well. I’m so proud of you & so is everyone else! Today I want you to reward yourself in whatever way you see fit.
Take a day off work. Go & get a massage. Have a bubble bath. Bake an enormous chocolate cake. Spend the weekend in bed with a massive stack of books. Draw on a fake moustache & go out dancing. Just do something which makes you really, really happy. You deserve it! (You always deserve it!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [28] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 5/28
[ 4 February 2009, 19:53 ]
If you’re having a hard time with one of your goals & are really, truly questioning why you wanted to do it in the first place — it’s okay to change it or refine it. In fact, it’s more than okay; it’s encouraged.
It’s far better to spend 23 days doing something which really resonates with you than 28 doing something which just makes you mad!
Be good to yourself; don’t deliberately create guilt or resentment or stress in your life!
Remember, this isn’t about punishing yourself. It’s about celebrating & making the most of who you are. You can do it!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [33] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 4/28
[ 3 February 2009, 16:50 ]
“You’ve got to own your own days & name them, each one of them, every one of them, or else the years go right by & none of them belong to you.” — Herb Gardner
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [55] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 3/28
[ 3 February 2009, 05:59 ]
Hey baby.
Reminder! Perfection is not the goal! (It’s actually desperately boring, darling — the ultimate crime!) All you have to do is make a little bit of effort every day. Just stretch a bit further, push a fraction harder, smile a little wider, & remember that every step brings you closer to what you really, really want.
I send you on your way with sparkly, sticky kiss-marks on both cheeks! Go & make yourself grin!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [58] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Can't Believe It; I Didn't Get Into University!
[ 2 February 2009, 14:50 ]
Daisy Lowe.
To answer your question — well, it’s pretty simple really. Once you get past all the panic, you’ll see that you can do anything you like. (This is always the case. You can always do anything you like.)
In my opinion, you should do something fun with your time, & re-apply next semester — if you want to. Who knows how your life will change in that time? When the next semester rolls around, you could be a completely different person, selling tea in Morocco, totally enchanted by the landscape & your new beloved. Your distant dreams of being an accountant may seem very far away.
I understand that you’re disappointed & were really looking forward to kicking off this whopping new chapter of your life. Maybe you planned on starting university with all your friends — now, they appear to be moving forward while you’re stuck in one place. Don’t worry about that, it’s an illusion. The disappointment will pass, & just because your friends are doing something doesn’t mean you need to do it too. That’s their path, not yours. You don’t have to operate on their time-line — in fact, your life will probably be much more interesting & satisfying if you don’t.
There’s no reason why you need to start now, & if you, like me, subscribe to the concept of everything happening for a reason, then you might like to view this new twist as a blessing from the universe. A shining opportunity to learn more about who you are, what you want, & where you really want to go.
University might have been part of your grand life plan, but life is full of curve-balls, surprises & trickery. That’s what makes life juicy! When things don’t go “our way” — or the way we think they should go — we pout & stomp about & generally flail around until… well, until we get over it. I suggest skipping the tantrum part if you can. Right now, I’m really into this idea of organic progression. I completely made that phrase up, but it’s basically a more palatable idea (to me) than “go with the flow”. What it means is not pushing back when life takes an unexpected turn — just paying attention, staying present, watching for the long-eyelashed wink of the universe & taking your cue. It is entirely possible that the universe is throwing you a big, delicious bone — but you can’t see it because you’re so wrapped up in things happening the way you want them to. As clever as we all think we are, we humans don’t always know what is “best” for us!
I really believe that within everything supposedly “negative” that happens in our lives — misfortunes, heartbreak, difficult relationships — there is an opportunity to spin that into something amazing. It is this incredibly fabulous chance to sort through some of your own scrumptious human messiness & emerge at the other side, slightly bloody but victorious, with a greater understanding of yourself, life & the people around you.
These extra months that have been bestowed upon you are a gift from above — it’s just that it was wrapped in unappealing paper. Who knows what’s next for you? You might even discover your real, actual, true life purpose, & you might not need a university degree to live out that purpose with love & passion! Even better, you get to figure all this stuff out without the stress of paying course fees or taking exams!
This is a beautiful time for you, full of magic & fortune & freedom. Enjoy it.
Extra credit: When was the last time that an unfortunate turn of events was actually something fabulous in disguise?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [94] Tags: advice,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 2/28
[ 2 February 2009, 05:58 ]
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” — Frederick Douglass
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [76] Tags: inspiration,
productivity,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge: 1/28
[ 1 February 2009, 04:49 ]
“Personal transformation can & does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one.” — Marianne Williamson
It’s the first day! How has it gone for you so far? If you — like me — are in New Zealand, where it’s 10.47pm, & today hasn’t started with a hiss & a roar like you hoped, don’t fret. It’s only 4.48am in New York City — their first day has barely even begun! They’re all asleep! You’re still ahead of the curve!
Take a few moments to make some positive steps in the direction of what you want before you go to bed. It’s not too late, & you’ll feel so much happier tomorrow.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [82] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Love The Red Book!
[ 31 January 2009, 17:12 ]
Do you own a copy of Sera Beak’s The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark yet? If not, how come?! I’m re-reading it right now & this segment jumped out at me. I hope you enjoy it!
Role Playing
As you’ve probably gathered by now, you have a special purpose. You’ve got certain things to do & people to see & flowers to smell & experiences to have that your intuition is constantly guiding you toward. You have a role that needs to be played, & chances are, it’s the role of a lifetime. When lived truthfully, this role will consist of doing & being what you love & making a decent living from it. Whoa. Imagine that.
Now before you start dreaming of exotic travels & radical business plans & living in Turkey, please realize that most people’s roles while here on this earthly plane for such a quick blink of time aren’t nearly so dramatic or far-reaching; one person’s role might be as seemingly simple as becoming, say, a conductor of high-frequency love while living on a particularly bleak city block, while another’s is to be an amazing mother, while another’s is to grow organic food, or save lemurs, or work at that magazine.
Although your intuition might lead you (or might have already led you) toward a role that might not seem all that glamorous, it doesn’t make it any less important or meaningful or soul-rocking. There might be thousands of first-grade teachers, but only you can give hope to those specific children in that specific children at that specific time. Let’s face it, not everyone can be a Nelson Mandela, because as amazing as that man is, the universe doesn’t need millions of him. The universe needs, well, you. & only you can do what it is you do, in your unique way. So please don’t shut down your unique abilities with doubt or comparisons or critiques (“Working at this cafe or teaching music to the elderly or writing poetry on my lunch break can’t be all that cosmically significant; just look at that guy I saw on 20/20 who’s setting up HIV clinics in Africa”). Gandhi said, “Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you, but it is most important that you do it.” Trust me, when you believe in yourself & fulfil your role to the best of your ability, you are a spiritual superstar, as powerful & as needed as any soul on the planet. As modern dance genius Martha Graham so beautifully put it, “There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action. & because there is only one of you in time, this expression is unique. & if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium & be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is: nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly & directly. To keep the channel open” (quoted in Rob Brezsny’s Pronoia, p. 76).
This is a mysteriously connected universe. We don’t always consciously know how far our energy might reach & how intense its effect might be, but by doig what you intuitively feel you should be doing in this world (be it a career, a project, an art piece, a relationship), you are actually, believe it or not, helping to infuse this planet & even the entire cosmos with deep soulful purpose as well as encouraging other beings to seek out & bravely live their own role. (There is more about this phenomenon in the next chapter.)
Of course, when we start becoming more connected to & more expressive of who we really are, the seemingly random roles we play become just natural extensions of ourselves. Intuitive hits about what your role is (for right now) may not always suggest a huge change from what you are already doing, but they should help you do what you do more consciously. Richard Bach wrote, “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t” (Illusions, p. 159). So what’s your part to play now? How can you be it even better? Don’t know if you’ve found what you’re meant to do or be quite yet? Don’t fret; when it’s time, the universe will give you plenty of external & internal hints, but here’s mine: You’ll know when you find it because it will make you feel very alive, happy, aligned, content — even if it challenges you & pushes your limits & freaks you out a bit. You will know, on a cell-tingling level, that you are doing what you are meant to do, no matter how mundane it might appear to others, or even to your ego. You will know by how intensely you’re existing.
P.S. Buy the book!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [25] Tags: consumption,
inspiration,
life,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge Preparation
[ 30 January 2009, 16:56 ]
A couple of days ago I decided what I’m going to do for my personal iTC. It’s not super-adventurous or anything; in fact, it’s exactly what I did last year — but because the thought of it makes me feel uncomfortable, I know I should be doing it. (The word “challenge” is in the title for a reason!)
My iCiNG Transformation Challenge is going to be centered around exercising every day (which I am pretty much doing already, but I want to be much more conscious about doing it), & eating 100% raw.
With exercise, I am already hooping for about an hour on average every day, & I love it, but what I want to do is turn my exercise into more of a meditation. I want to be really present, really grounded, & experience the ecstasy of movement. Sometimes I feel like the heavens are french-kissing me while I hoop dance, but I want to feel that when I’m doing yoga, weights, walking, etc. too! It’s my intention to have exercise feel less like a tedious chore than an exploration of bliss & an expression of adoration for the universe. Working love into everyday life, that’s me, that’s my mission!
As for the food… Last year when I did this, my boyfriend was eating 100% raw too, which made life way easier. We were both going through the same thing, we could talk about our cravings, & talk each other out of going to KFC. This time I’m pretty much doing it alone — even though I have you guys! — so I know I need to put some systems in place to help support me as I do this. Especially since I will also be in the midst of organising & packing for my trip back to the USA!
Here are some things I think will help — & this might give you some ideas as to how you can set up support systems for your own challenge.
I’m going to get more involved in the raw community. One of the reasons that even the most well-intentioned raw foodists go off their greens is because of lack of support or community. Let’s face it, radically altering your diet has consequences & alters your social life quite a lot. There are lots of other people around the world rocking raw food like nobody’s business, but because you don’t know they exist, often you feel like a solo juicing voyager, travelling alone, confused & adrift. That’s why it is so important to get involved with a good community of raw people, whether in your city or just online, & for most of us, Give It To Me Raw is an awesome place to get started. Give It To Me Raw was invaluable to me when I first started going raw, & is always my go-to when I have a question about something. So whatever it is you’re doing, do a bit of research & seek out people who have suceeded at doing that same thing. Then start to talk to them. Trust me, you’ll thank me later!
I’ve decided to listen to at least one raw food podcast a day, because another great way to combat the loneliness is to get actively involved & learn some new things! It helps keep you inspired & excited, gives you lots of ideas & reminds you once again that you’re not the only person doing it. One way I love to do this is by listening to podcasts & watching videos. In the case of raw food, there are so many great raw food podcasts, uncooking shows & instructional videos online that you can totally take your pick! There will be oodles of information on what you want to do too, so get searchin’!
I had a good think about my motivation. I admit to being shallow & superficial, & honestly, the bulk of my reasons for wanting to get back to raw food revolve around how it makes me look. The way it makes me feel (clear-headed, smart, alert, ecstatic) are just a bonus, but I feel like ultimately, they are what will keep me wanting to eat raw — as well as the fact that I know, deep down, that eating raw is right for me, & the best thing I can do for myself right now. Going off raw food late last year taught me that — the difference was huge. (Oh, & I just found this article on Zen Habits: 10 Reasons Eating Raw Is Healthier For You & The Planet!)
My point in saying this is that you need to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Joining a gym or going vegan just because you “think you should” isn’t going to cut it when you’re craving cheese or a sleep-in — you need a reason which really means something to you. My suggestion is to have a really good, investigative probe into your own motivation, & be honest with yourself. Do you want to go vegan for animal rights, or do you actually want to try it because you want to lose a few pounds? Take that honesty & then write it down. You can put it on Post It notes around your house, write it in your journal or rearrange your alphabet fridge magnets to spell it out, but putting things in writing — especially where you can see them often — is very powerful.
I’m going to be good to myself… & you should be too! Don’t expect to be perfect, because no one is, & as you move through the steps of your challenge, it is almost inevitable that there will be times where you stumble. Having said that, don’t expect you will fail, either — we attract what we think about, so thinking that way is totally counter-productive! Just concentrate on doing the best you can every day, & if you mess it up, it’s cool. Tomorrow is another day. I think it’s important to aim for consistency, not perfection (something I learned from Dhru & Nature Love!), because it sets us up to form positive habits & routines rather than expecting to become a saint overnight. I am going to do my best to eat 100% raw every day, but if I eat some toast or devour a plate of potato salad, I’m not going to flagellate myself. What’s the point?! The way I see it, we’re trying to make positive changes to our lives, & that doesn’t include beating ourselves up for being human! You & I are to be commended for even making these first steps. Remember that!
Alright — so having taken all that in, what steps are you going to take to build your own support system?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [95] Tags: gala,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
productivity,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Horoscopes For The Year Of The Ox!
[ 26 January 2009, 20:25 ]
2009 is the year of the ox. The ox in Chinese astrology is similar to Capricorn in Western astrology — a sign of practicality & stability. The ox is known for being dutiful & responsible. The Chinese believe that the year of the ox is an ideal year in which to build a solid foundation, & to plant seeds from which you will benefit later. Being diligent & patient will reap you great rewards!
Here are your individual horoscopes for the Chinese new year!
Ox 1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 2009
The male ox will have better romantic luck than females this year. Women are expected to have lots of short-term romances, & will need to take the initiative in the romantic department more than usual this year — so pounce that saucy stranger! Men are much more likely to meet someone with whom they could spend a few years with. There is a star of wealth shining on the ox this year, signifying slow but steady financial progress. Don’t push or rush anything, just stay the course. The main thing to concentrate on this year is interpersonal relationships. Decide to become a better friend & lover by learning to communicate!
Tiger 1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998
Tigers will probably be frustrated by the slow pace of this year. Learning patience & restraint might be their major lesson! Don’t make any sudden decisions, especially when you’re angry, because it’s extremely likely that you’ll get into trouble if you do! It’s possible that people around you will distrust or betray you this year, so be cautious. Don’t tell everyone everything! Be careful signing contracts & documents, too — be sure to double- or triple-check them. Having said all this, there are lucky stars shining on you too, especially when it comes to work. You will be very likely to get a promotion or raise this year.
Rabbit 1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999
This is a year for nesting & resting with friends & family. The people around you will take care of you in 2009. There are many stars of love & luck shining on you, which will make you even more charming & appealing than ever before! This is great news for single rabbits but rabbits in relationships need to be careful to resist temptation, for it will come your way this year! There will also be positive developments around home life, such as buying a new home or redecorating a current one.
Dragon 1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000
There will be major changes in the dragon’s life this year. It could go either way, so be prepared for a radical shake-up or wake-up! Stay conscious & present & optimistic. It is incredibly important that this year you work to maintain your integrity. Travelling a lot this year will help you create lots of positive energy around you. If you keep working hard this year, you will see good progress. Your relationships will be comfortable & easy.
Snake 1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001
2009 is a super-lucky for snakes! Act on opportunities & seize the moment! You have great luck in love & career this year — the chances of getting married or a huge promotion are excellent. You will meet influential people who will inspire & help you make more money as well as increasing your prestige. You should still be careful, though — you may want to save some money this year to help cover unexpected expenses or losses.
Horse 1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002
This is going to be a hectic year for horses as all kinds of things happen. You will have good & bad luck, but as long as you remember that everything brings opportunity & choices, you’ll be just fine! A lucky star which represents courage, social status & leadership is shining on you, meaning it is likely that you will do well at work & in moving up through the ranks! Learn to ask for help because this year you may need it. You may also find yourself moving house or country!
Sheep 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003
Sheep are going to be insanely lucky in love this year, much more so than last year! Being single & unencumbered is a good thing for you right not because it gives you the opportunity to take your pick from any number of eligible bachelors or bachelorettes! There are stars of gossip (!) around you though, so be quiet — don’t gloat about your sordid romance(s)! Promotions, raises & great personal growth are also in the stars for you this year. You may feel lonely at times, but be grateful for what you have & 2009 will be a great success.
Monkey 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004
This is a year of travelling for the monkey, & amazingly, the more you travel, the more money you will earn! If you are in an academic or intellectual field, you will have a lot of luck too — your mind will be clear & creative, & you will have lots of energy. You will achieve a lot this year. Take extra classes if you can. You will have plenty of free time this year too, which should be spent associating with friends & family.
Rooster 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005
The rooster may have to work hard to generate happiness this year. This is not a time for complacency or just coasting along — in order for 2009 to be a success, you will need to make a concerted effort. Someone is going to look after you & influence you a lot. It’s a great time to gain on what you lost in recent years, & your prestige & reputation are increasing.
Dog 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006
This year brings dramatic change for dogs — whether that’s good or bad is up to you! Concentrate on the positive & you will enjoy yourself much more. Make an effort to travel when you can & attend social engagements. Dogs who work in the creative or design industries will feel more inspired than ever this year, & will get lots of appreciation & recognition for their work. You might argue with your family more than usual this year, & all your hard work, while fun, may stress you out. Spend time with friends & relax whenever you can.
Pig 1911, 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995
This is a bright year full of wonder, with lots of love & career luck. Pigs in relationships might get married or pregnant, while single female pigs are encouraged to travel to far-flung lands to find the love of their life! Long-term relationships are in the cards for pig ladies. The stars for clear thinking are shining brightly this year, which is great news for pigs whose work is intellectual or creative. It is also likely that you will gain a lot of recognition for the work you’ve done. This year, pigs should follow their instincts but avoid taking unnecessary risks. Mood swings, frustration & difficulty communicating may affect you but overall, 2009 will be a fantastic year.
Rat 1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996
Romance could be tricky for rats this year. Many of you in long-term relationships will come to the realisation that the person you’re with is not the one you actually want. However, that’s the only area of 2009 which presents problems, because everything else looks wonderful. This is a great year for your career, especially for those people who work outdoors or have positions of leadership or authority. Rats will eat a lot of good food this year too, but should take care not to overindulge! The elder family members of rats may have health problems, & rats are discouraged from engaging in risky sports because the chance of getting harmed is high! Overall, rats will make great progress this year as long as they know that good things take time.
What sign are you & what do you think of your predictions for the year? I’m a pig (oink oink!) & everything sounds pretty good to me!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [96] Tags: astrology,
inspiration,
life,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!The iCiNG Transformation Challenge Starts On Sunday!
[ 26 January 2009, 02:31 ]
You asked for it, you got it! The second annual (wow!) iCiNG Transformation Challenge starts at the end of the week — on Sunday 1st February, & will run for 28 days.
GET PUMPED, BABY!
For those of you who weren’t here for it last year, the iCiNG Transformation Challenge is an opportunity to achieve something you’ve wanted to do for a while but as yet, haven’t quite managed to hit out of the park. Last year, my personal challenge was to exercise in some form every day & eat 100% raw. Other people changed bad habits, revamped relationships, made steps towards doing more fulfilling work, transitioned their diet, worked on artistic projects, stopped smoking or taking drugs, etc. There is no limit as to what you can or can’t do within the challenge — it’s totally up to you.
Last year it was a raging success, with over 1500 participants from all over the world. There’s something really powerful about feeling like you’re not the only person making change in their life, & having a group of people around you who you know you can discuss it with! Sometimes when we decide to alter something in our lifestyle, our friends, families & lovers aren’t supportive. They feel threatened or they don’t have all the information or are obstructed by issues of their own, & so they resist us making those changes. That can make it really difficult to change our patterns & behaviour, because ultimately we all want to be liked — especially by people who are close to us. The iTC is wonderful for this very reason because we’re all in it together, & we all want everyone else in the group to do well. It’s a good way to make friendships & form bonds, too!
Essentially what happens is that I provide an area on iCiNG where we can all discuss our progress & give one another support. I think it’s good to check in on a daily basis & talk about our various challenges. It helps keep you engaged & excited about your transformation. I’ll be acting as head cheerleader, cheering you all on, pom-poms & all, posting daily inspiration, ideas & encouragement, as well as articles that I think will be relevant to what you’re going through.
I set up an iCiNG Transformation Challenge mailing list last year, which was really useful for a lot of people, but this year, I’m going to do it all out loud, in public. As cool as it is to get an email every day about the iTC, there was no way for anyone to search it or find it unless you were already in on it. I think this kind of thing should be in the public arena, so that anyone who wants to start their own challenge at a later date has everything at their fingertips. (You can still get iTC updates that way simply by subscribing to iCiNG via email!)
Okay, so you have six or seven days to organise yourself for your own personal challenge. Have a think about what you’d like to make happen next month, & how you can prepare for that. If you have no idea where to begin, raw food coach Karen Knowler has a great PDF on 13 great ways to improve your life — it’s really valuable for everyone, & you can download it for free here!
So whatever you want to do, start doing some research. Then begin to gather resources or whatever it is you think you’ll need in order to support you in your journey… & we’ll reconvene on Sunday! YAY! Are you excited?! I am!
When you know what you want to achieve, come back here & let us know what your intentions for the month are! Then we can start discussing & brainstorming it all! This will also help give me ideas about what sort of articles would help you most!
I’ll leave you with these words from the new American president (!!!), Barack Obama, which I think are perfectly appropriate!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [193] Tags: inspiration,
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[ 20 January 2009, 00:14 ]
Ahhh, two-thousand-&-divine! There was so much hype towards the end of 2008, with plenty of us swearing up & down that 2009 was going to be different, by gum! Well, we’re now a third of the way through the first month of 2009, so it’s time to check in & see how you’re feeling. How are things going for you? Odds are good that if you haven’t switched up any of your routines or habits, January 2009 seems eerily similar to December 2008… & November 2008… & October 2008!
The real way to implement change in your life is to alter your habits. One of the major things that has changed my life in the past is setting up a daily routine that I enjoy & which I know works. It sounds boring, I know, but it doesn’t have to be. That’s the beauty of it — it’s your routine, so if you want to start the day with naked sun salutations, a massive salad or pyjama dance-off, you can! Be imaginative! It doesn’t have to be epic zombie time, complete with bleary-eyes, stubbed toes & bland breakfast!
So, what’s your daily routine?
Be honest! Do you really wake up at 6am & do yoga every morning, or are you more inclined to rush out the door at 8.49 without so much as brushing your hair? My routine has been a bit of a mess lately too, which is what prompted me to write this article! I’ve been eating all kinds of rubbish, my exercising has been sporadic, I’ve been sleeping in until 10 or 11 every morning, & things just feel really off. I am convinced (convinced!) that Mercury retrograde is partially to blame for this, which just adds to my feeling that now is the time to look back at what hasn’t been working in my routine, & come up with yummy new ways to move forward.
We often fool ourselves into thinking that changing our old habits is an impossibility, an exercise in futility, a waste of time. It’ll never work, we think, completely oblivious to the fact that our current lifestyle isn’t working for us either! How bad could a little change be?
The reason most people repeatedly fail to make something new into a habit is because of their fear of change. Why is this? When we decide we want to do something new, part of us is gung-ho, excited, chomping at the bit to get going. But another part of us is terrified at the idea of shaking things up. We often jump to a far-fetched conclusion which seems rational at the time, but really isn’t, like, “Oh my god, if I start down this path, I’m going to have to do an hour of jumping jacks every morning UNTIL I DIE.” So we never even begin, or perhaps we do it twice before giving up.
It usually takes 30 to 40 repetitions of something before it becomes a habit or routine, & it is perhaps because of this reason that Steve Pavlina is a great advocate of the 30-day trial concept. It manages to skirt ye olde freak out because you’ve set a time-limit. If you’re absolutely hating your routine on day 23, you know you only have 7 more days to go, which makes it all seem much more tolerable.
30 days is also an excellent length because it gives you time to gather real data about what you’re doing. If you change the way you eat or the amount you exercise, it’s common that the first week will be rough. You’ll be exhausted, detoxing, emotionally haggard — all sorts of things will come up — so if you stick at for 30 days, you’ll get past that first difficult stage & into the really juicy bit.
Enough talking, time for action. Let’s make some lists. I’ll go first, then it’s your turn!
What isn’t working for you in your routine?
For me, sleeping in until 10 or 11 is totally not doing it for me. I always feel like I’ve wasted the day when I do that, especially since I know that I get my best work done first thing.
The food I’m eating isn’t doing it for me either. I’m probably about 80% vegan right now — which is good — but I’m eating pretty much all vegan junk food, which is not where I want to be! Raw power please!
It’s totally time to get back into regular exercise. I meant to do this when I got back from Auckland but somehow it didn’t happen. I had a really rough 3 days, & last night after eating about six pieces of toast & a whole lot of rocky road, I decided it was time for a work-out. My short 30 minute cardio blast had me feeling better than I have all week.
How would you like your routine to look?
Wake up at 7.30 (or earlier) Do some gentle stretching & then half an hour of exercise Shower & get pretty Make a big smoothie, drink that & down vitamins as I check my email Set intentions for the day in my Moleskine Start working!
What steps do you need to take to make this a reality?
Thankfully I have most of these things sorted out already. I have a huge stack of exercise DVDs which I really enjoy doing (I know, what a nerd!), as well as my two brand spanking new HOOPS which I can use if I’m not in the mood for a prescribed routine (& which I use during the day anyway). I went to the health shop yesterday — that place is like pure porn for a hardcore Virgo! — & bought some supplements & vitamins I’d run out of, including maca which I am going to put into my smoothies! I also went to the supermarket & bought some stuff for making smoothies. Yay!
So… what about you?
Where are you at & where do you want to be? What kind of steps do you need to take to switch up your routine for good (um, I mean, 30 days!)? Do you need more information or encouragement? Take some time & think about it. What small changes do you think you could make which would really improve your quality of life?
Some of you will remember the iCiNG Transformation Challenge which ran for a month last April. Anyone keen for a repeat performance?!
Extra For Experts:
How To Establish New Habits The No-Sweat Way using Kaizen, from Zen Habits.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [156] Tags: how to,
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[ 17 January 2009, 18:52 ]
I know we’ve done this before, but last time it was so great I almost exploded!
Post a photo of yourself looking REALLY, deliriously happy in the comments!
Definitely a good way to round off the weekend. I love this!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [185] Tags: gala,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Questions On A Postcard: He Loves Me More!
[ 4 January 2009, 17:43 ]
Dear Ms. S.,
What lovely penmanship you have!
In my experience, relationships are always somewhat unbalanced. Regardless of the situation, whether it’s marriage or a summer romance, one person is always more invested than the other; that’s just how it is. It keeps life interesting & maintains that deliciously ridiculous merry-go-round effect. If you have to be in one position, I tend to think that being the person who is more loved is preferable, but of course it does put you in an awkward situation. It’s a sort of stasis. There are feelings of guilt. You wonder if you’re both wasting your time. You think, ‘Maybe I should let this person go so that they can find someone who loves them as much as they love me’.
What you do about the situation is entirely up to you. I can’t say what is right for your life, & plus I have faith that whatever you do will be what you were meant to do. The universe has your back.
What I will say is this. Even when we do our best to seek out a more magical & meaningful existence, life is full to overflowing with average things & mundane realities. Dull jobs, exams, corporate attire, standing in queues, early mornings, tired eyeballs & many, many interactions with the great unwashed. There are all these things which fill us with a vast nothing. Love should not be one of them.
The fact that he is “nice” is not enough to keep you together. Plenty of people are nice & good. That doesn’t make them lover material. That doesn’t mean they are the person to whom you should “hitch your wagon”.
Learning to make yourself happy should be one of your primarily preoccupations. If you feel more joy when you’re by yourself than when you’re with him, then you know it’s time for something to change. The thing with learning to make ourselves happy is that sometimes it takes a leap of faith. Sometimes we have to break up the status quo with a big hammer in order to get there. Sometimes it’s more of a demolition derby, but hey. You gotta do what you gotta do.
There is a period of malaise in every relationship. The initial sparks & fabulousness begin to fade, & it’s just night after night of getting takeaways, watching television, etc. Some people feel that once they get to a certain age, it’s easier just to settle down with someone who doesn’t make them want to commit mass homicide, so they do. But some people would rather be in a relationship with someone who makes them feel electric. You get to choose which camp you’d rather summer holiday with.
If this boy doesn’t make you want to explode with joy & excitement, if thoughts of him DON’T dance like sugarplums in your head, if the mere mention of his name doesn’t fill your body with fireworks, if you don’t spend hours daydreaming about your future together… then you’ll be happier doing your own thing, sugarplum.
Take that time that you spend together, twiddling your thumbs, & invest it in yourself. Cold & calculating as it may sound, your returns will be far greater. & who knows — in that time, you might just meet someone who really captures your imagination. Someone who you could love more than you ever imagined possible.
Fingers crossed.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [52] Tags: advice,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!2009: Words Which Mean Something
[ 31 December 2008, 16:42 ]
I noticed last year that when I was writing my weekly “to do” list, & setting intentions for the week, that it was really helpful to have a phrase that I could remember easily. One thing I wrote on my lists pretty regularly was “raw power” — meaning, essentially, eat more raw food! To me, the phrase “raw power” encapsulates everything it needs to. In my head, it translates to, “Eat as much raw food as you can, but don’t freak out about it. Just do your best. You’ll look more radiant, your brain will work better, & you’ll feel happier. Okay, go!” It’s much faster to just write RAW POWER! It helps keep me on track.
Here are my mottos for 2009, all of which I am embracing fully & doing my best to live with passion & purpose! Just like “raw power” above, these phrases have multi-layered meanings for me.
What are they?
I have a copy of this stuck into the front of my 2009 Moleskine. Just like the manifesto I wrote about two days ago, it’s another way to keep myself on track this year.
Do you have any mottos to guide you in the coming year? If not, will you make some?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [65] Tags: inspiration,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things To Do Before 2009
[ 29 December 2008, 23:34 ]
For those of us in New Zealand, 2009 ticks into existence in a little over 24 hours. Before we launch into January with a flying leap, pinch a bit of time with your fingers & use it to your advantage. Here are some ideas to start you off right!
Recognise 2008 for what it has been. Even if you felt like it was the worst year of your life, it had lessons to teach you & positive things have happened. Think back & be grateful for what 2008 showed you, so that you can move forward into 2009 with a clear head & a dedication to all things fabulous!
As part of this, consider reviewing your year. You can do this by taking a silly survey, or by simply meditating on the events of the past 365 days. Think about what you’d like to stay the same or improve in 2009, & what you are happy to leave behind. The unexamined life is not worth living, after all. (Thanks, Socrates!) Use this information as a jumping-off point to choose some goals for the new year.
Okay, it’s time! Set yourself a bunch of amazing goals. Remember that your goal needs to be able to be measured & have a deadline. Don’t forget to work out the steps you’ll need to take to achieve each goal! For example, “lose weight” is not a goal — “lose 20 pounds by the 10th of November through a combination of exercise 4 times/week & 2 raw meals a day” is!
“If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things — you don’t have enough goals.” — Lou Holtz
Before you write on the 1st of January page in your new diary, take some time to write a short manifesto of what you want from 2009. Mine starts like this: “Magic, laughter & adventures.“ For the truly anally-retentive, draft it on your computer first & then transcribe it into your diary in your loveliest, loopiest handwriting. Having something like this written in your diary is a great way to remind yourself of who you are, who you want to be, & where you want to go. You can refer to it whenever you’re feeling a bit lost. Think of it as a beautiful road-map for the year.
Write yourself a fashion manifesto (like this one) for 2009. How do you want to look? Start a scrapbook & fill it with images, words & ideas to keep you sartorially inspired.
Come up with some new year’s resolutions. These are different to goals in that they are more fluid, & less measureable, but still a lot of fun! See this article from last year for ideas!
Sign up for an account with 43 Things.
Throw out your old underwear, & buy yourself new slinkies in the post-Christmas sales!
Come up with a new name for the new year — a nickname, a project name, a full name…
Buy new bedding & shake off the ghosts of lovers past.
Clear out your friends lists on Myspace, Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, AIM, etc. If someone isn’t actually your friend or has a habit of driving you crazy, why keep them around? Start the year fresh!
Decide to do something in 2009 that terrifies you. Like hip-hop karaoke in front of an audience, telling someone how much you really like them, or sky-diving. Give yourself a deadline & make it happen!
Do something in the next two (or three) days which makes for a good story! Run down the road naked in the snow if you have to, just make it something worth telling other people about! The year isn’t over until it’s over!
Call, email or meet up with your favourite people to tell them how much happiness they have added to your year.
Write a letter to the one person you allowed to make 2008 more difficult than it needed to be. Be as angry & vicious as you like, but when you’re done, burn it or tear it into little pieces. Visualise all your vitriol disappearing with it.
Make a start on what you want to achieve in 2009. Buy those exercise DVDs, join a gym, email that person, go & pick out paint colours for your room, whatever. You don’t have to wait until the 1st of January to start changing things!
Change your hair. Better yet, cut it all off & have it donated.
Come up with some new words to work into your vocabulary next year. Among others, I plan on reviving demode (out of fashion or unstylish), wicked (used for emphasis — e.g. “wicked faded”), mad (also used for emphasis — e.g. “mad keen”) & brocabulary (words your friends say that you pick up)! Huge props to Jake who inspired this idea (& gave me some of the words)!
Start planning a vacation to look forward to. Paris? Miami? Sounds good, mmm? But it doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive — spend a weekend in a couch fort with your best friend if that’s all your budget & schedule allows for.
If you don’t have anything magnificent planned for the night of the 31st, spend some time thinking about what you’d like to do. Then do your best to make it happen. You might prefer a night in with Buffy the Vampire Slayer to a raging crowd. If that’s what you want to do, then do it! There is no better time to start living the life you want.
Remember that 2009 will be what you make it. Set your intentions now & fall in love with the idea that it will be marvellous!
Buy a magical t-shirt & sparkly knickers to kick off 2009 with a flourish! Wink wink!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [72] Tags: inspiration,
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[ 29 December 2008, 14:55 ]
Imaginary outfits, imaginary girls. If you could star in your own new year’s eve short story, what would unfold?
Natalie met her best friend Ginger in a cocktail bar, where they drank Singapore Slings & gave fake names to well-dressed boys. They held hands all the way home & took polaroids of each other making silly faces before falling asleep on Ginger’s couch at 5am.
Lolly took the subway to the house of a friend of a friend, where she caught the eye of a Swedish exchange student. After a couple of hours of funny but confusing conversation, he kissed her on the fire escape. She was so surprised she almost choked on her gum.
With her friends waiting outside, Carmen kissed her parents goodbye & stole her father’s hat from the hallway before closing the door behind her. When her best friend’s digital watch displayed 12:00, the five of them were sitting in a tiny boat on a super-still lake. Carmen let a flare gun off into the night & laughed, before using a voice-transforming megaphone to lead all her friends in a T-Pain singalong.
She make the people say yeeeeah, yeeeeeeeah… I can put you in a log cabin, somewhere in Aspen!
Robin would totally have preferred to stay in with a tub of Haagen-Dazs. The crowds & the noise were too much for her. Instead she went to her boyfriend’s place, avoided his drunken workmates & brandished her camera like a weapon.
Katie kicked it at home with a stack of her favourite records & a new pair of headphones. She fell asleep at 11.42pm, woke up the next morning & continued life as usual.
Zara went to a loud punk rock show with her almost-boyfriend. They rang in the new year by jumping up & down, screaming & yelling, writhing beside an amp, covered in sweat & sexual tension. She had worn a big bat signal over her heart to keep it safe, but it didn’t work. By the time the sun rose, her head was full of stars & bursting cartoon love-hearts.
What are you going to wear on the 31st?
P.S. Here are some new year’s eve outfits I made last year!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [80] Tags: aesthetic,
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[ 14 December 2008, 16:47 ]
Write yourself a report card. School was rough for everyone, so forget all those old vindictive teachers who always commented that you’d be so wonderful if “you applied yourself” or went on & on about your “potential”. (Who wants to harness their potential in geography class?!) Think about the things that are important to you — like the amount of strangers you talk to, or being a good lover, or knowing the precise moment to hold someone else’s hand — & grade yourself. Then put it somewhere prominent so you can see it regularly & be reminded.
Stop making enemies with people who are prettier/more clever/more successful/cooler than you. Here’s the thing. Those people will always exist. Life is not a competition, just relax. Stop being jealous & start being friends with them! You never know what you might learn — maybe they’ll teach you how to be prettier/more clever/more successful/cooler! Competing with one another just keeps us apart & unhappy. Soak it up!
Next time you inadvertently stain your bathroom with hair dye — Special Effects included — don’t fret. Just grab a tube of whitening toothpaste, squirt it on, leave it for a couple of minutes, then scrub. I promise you this will work on practically anything, including white walls & porous wooden benches. It saved my life a couple of weeks ago & it might save yours too!
Do some research on the properties of crystals (I like this site), then go to a bead store & make yourself a bracelet or necklace featuring the stones that appeal to you. Love? Strength? Mental clarity? Take your pick, there is a stone for everything! Even if you don’t believe in the purported power of crystals, it’s always good to have a visual reminder of what it is you’re striving for!
Buy peppermint chapstick. It’s like having the Alps in your mouth. Yum.
Practise stripping every time you get undressed for the shower! Take some music in there & turn it UP! Start dancing, & watch yourself while you take your clothes off. I swear that if you do this regularly, you will become a) a much better dancer & b) much more confident & happy with your body! Plus, it’s all good practise for the actual event, isn’t it?!
(Style tips from this day last year!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [34] Tags: inspiration,
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[ 7 December 2008, 18:05 ]
Style is not just about what you wear, it’s about what you do & how you do it.
When I started writing this article, I took it to the streets — well, Twitter — & asked my followers who their ultimate style icon was. One of the things I noticed was that almost everyone they mentioned was someone who lived their entire life with style. They weren’t just A-list celebrities who had stylists dress them for big events. They were men & women with strikingly original aesthetics, fresh new approaches to living & a different way of doing things.
The reason I chose a picture of Manko to accompany this article is because she perfectly illustrates what it means to allow your personal style to permeate all aspects of your life. I had always adored what I’d seen of her modelling online, & when I met her for brunch a couple of months ago, I was delighted to see that it’s not just something she turns on & off for the camera. She is just as nutty in person: tossing her hat around, prodding at her food, laughing at inane Americanisms & making pedestrians stare.
So, who are your style icons? If I had to guess, I would say mostly they are people who have their own little universe of style, separate to everyone else. For example, when Fight Club came out, unconventional girls went ga-ga for Helena Bonham Carter’s portrayal of the notorious Marla Singer. It wasn’t just what she wore. Who even really remembers that, except for the big hat & the pink bridesmaid’s dress? It was about what she did & how she did it. The way she smoked cigarettes, the way she walked into traffic, the way she spoke on the phone, her heavy-handed eyeliner & crazy hair.
My personal style icons are people (or characters) like Madonna, Carrie Bradshaw, Diana Vreeland, Marchesa Louisa Casati, & Little Edie. I didn’t always love the way they dressed, necessarily; I am not the sort of person to emulate someone else’s look, anyway. Really the reason I admire them is because of their attitude. All of those women really pushed boundaries, & were completely unashamed to look a way that pleased them — not anyone else. (You can read more about these individual women — & a few more! — on Top 5 Fictional Female Style Icons & these pieces from my Style Icons series: Madonna, Carrie Bradshaw, Diana Vreeland & Marchesa Lusia Casati.)
Personal style is about the way you interact with other people in line, the way you stack your magazines, how much stuff you carry with you every day — & what those things might be. It’s about your chosen references to pop culture, whether you dance in public & the way you fill in forms.
Everything you do is a declarative statement of your personal style, whether you’re aware of it or not.
If you want to start consciously developing your own style, you don’t have to start self-monitoring like a lunatic. Just allow yourself to become aware of how you are & the way that you do things. If there’s something you decide you could improve — maybe your table manners, or the tone of voice you use when you’re irritated — then do that. But overall, just become conscious of your various facets, the things that make you up as a person. Consider who influences you & how they do that. Then, start to expand. Think about the things you could start to incorporate into your life.
Not sure where to start?
Start a style scrapbook — on paper or even on Flickr — & use it as a jumping-off point for dressing yourself, decorating your house, interacting with others. Don’t feel like this is just some amateur move, either; in actual fact, the most stylish, put-together people I know often have multiple style scrapbooks that take various incarnations. They might have a set on Flickr, a collage on a board in their bedroom, & a collection of pictures beside their desk at work. Truly stylish people are always evolving in some new direction. Style is not about choosing a look & sticking with it forever, it needs to change as you do, & having a style scrapbook helps you do that. Think about fashion designers: ultimate taste-makers, they often have entire walls covered in pictures & inspiration to kick them into gear.
From your style scrapbook, you can really expand. If you notice that a lot of people you admire wear hats, for example, maybe it’s time to branch out & pick up a snood, fedora or fascinator! You can also use other people’s ideas to help facilitate your own wardrobe. Most of us own an item that we love but which drives us crazy because we don’t know how to wear it (tulle skirt, oxford heels, sequinned mini?) — & every time we see it in the closet, it gives us these crazy mixed emotions. Trawl street fashion blogs, the trend-spotting, personal style, street style & model style discussions on The Fashion Spot, Wardrobe Remix & LOOKBOOK.nu to find new, innovative ways to wear the things you never do, or just to give old items a new lease on life.
Photograph your outfits. I know that I bang on & on & on about this, but I do so for a reason! First of all, it gives you a real perspective on how you look, as opposed to just staring in a mirror (where we tend to focus on one thing at a time). In a mirror we often stand up straight or adjust our bodies according to our clothes, but a photo illustrates how the clothing actually falls on us. Secondly, it gives you an instant catalogue of already-worn outfits if you have to run out the door at a moment’s notice!
Actually put aside time to look at your outfit photos & consider what you could do differently next time. What if you changed shoes, added a jacket, took off that necklace, wore a different belt? Dissect it & break it down. What does this outfit say about you? Where is the ideal place to wear it? Who would appreciate it & who wouldn’t? How good do you feel in it, & why? Use all these answers as a platform to help you evolve.
Think about ye olde “quality versus quantity”, but don’t just let it flit across your mind. Actually devote a little brainpower to it. You know, deep down in your heart of hearts, that a $30 dress isn’t going to get you very far. What is it made from? Under what conditions? How well is it made? The answers aren’t going to be very endearing. This is not to say that you need to become a snob & refuse to wear anything with a double-digit pricetag, but just be aware that if you constantly spend your pennies on many cheap items, you’re probably missing out on fabulous shoes, lush sweaters & beautifully-cut dresses. That’s all!
Also think about what you spend your money on in general. Do you buy things just to fill a void, or do you buy things which really speak to you? I think we all have moments where we spend indiscriminately, but the real problem comes when you discover you own a whole lot of crap that doesn’t serve or even please you! Some home organisation experts recommend doing a house cleanse where you essentially get rid of everything you don’t love. Take a look around your room. How much of it do you actually love?
Spend time alone. This might seem like an odd way to cultivate your own style, especially when I have spoken so much about external influences, but really that’s the thing. Personal style is personal style, & while we are all strange, sweet amalgams of other people, places & dialects, the reason we are the way we are is because we’ve twisted all those things together in our own unique way. Think of it as having a concrete mixing truck in your belly. Even twin brothers & sisters can be complete opposites, despite having had many of the exact same influences. It’s all in the twist.
What this also means is that you should allow yourself to be as wild (or mild!) as you please, & don’t let other people & their own judgemental nonsense affect you. All these little things we do, from the way we spend our time to the people we speak to, changes & impacts us. I remember spending hours in the public library as a teenager, sitting on the floor, staring out at Wellington, with a huge, torso-sized stack of books next to me about New York City. I wrote things down, made notes, photocopied pictures, & told myself that I’d live there someday. It all counts, even the small things.
So, why go through all this madness? Why not just throw on a pair of jeans in the morning & yell, “TO HELL WITH IT!”?
Because discovering yourself is one of the most fabulous things you can do, & personal style is a way of flipping your discoveries inside out & putting them on display. Because people who know who they are are much more confident, happy & content. Because being our true selves empowers & emboldens other people. Because there is pure joy & magnificence in wearing something you love. Because experimenting with your personal style can magically transform you, & turn you into the person you’ve always wanted to be. & finally, because personal style & self-expression adds to the beauty of the world.
Even though sometimes other people’s personal style isn’t to our taste, I have to give people props for breaking the rules & wearing something different. It takes courage.
I would MUCH prefer to live in a city full of people wearing questionable things that made them happy than suffer through a drove of repressed-looking people in prescribed corporate attire! Bring on the knobbly cardigans in primary colours, unusual footwear, beaded waistcoats & lipstick accidentally smudged onto teeth! I love to see people who are actually excited about the clothing they have on. You can spot them in a crowd: they always look happier, walk with more confidence & check themselves out in shop windows!
I am definitely guilty of the sly sideways glance at a particularly reflective shop window. Sometimes I am even guilty of stopping & facing it front-on! But you know what? That’s just it. We all deserve to feel good enough about ourselves that we want to stop & savour the moment! & that, to me, is what personal style is all about.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [70] Tags: aesthetic,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Gala's Christmas Wishlist
[ 1 December 2008, 14:28 ]
Extravagance a-go-go! Here’s what I’m lusting after this holiday season. If only Jay-Z was my boyfriend…
Darling necklace; Linda Farrow sunglasses; Swarovski ring; Jean Paul Gaultier ring; Linda Farrow vintage for Luella batgirl mask; Marc Jacobs clutch; shooting star earrings; insane ring; Céline heels; Wunderkind ankle boots; Céline boots; Cesare Paciotti heels; Death Metal Disco t-shirt; Rodarte gloves; sequinned bikini; Kaiya Eve tutu; Rick Owens boots; diamante piggybank; Shu Uemura diamante lashes; crucifix ring; external hard-drive; Pam psychic & mental t-shirt (you might recognise this — after researching this list online, I decided I loved it so much I went & bought it on Saturday!); Claude Maus knot t-shirt; Christian Lacroix dress; shredded black jeans (I will probably DIY it); Christian Louboutin Ariella studded boots; Christian Louboutin Orlan heels.
What do you desire for Christmas? (P.S. Gala’s Christmas gift-guide coming soon!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [67] Tags: consumption,
gala,
inspiration,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Hoop Dance Teacher!
[ 30 November 2008, 13:50 ]
Deanne came into my life almost two years ago, & has rocked it to the core with her love, support, insight & ideas! As well as owning Tokyomade — one of my very first advertisers! — she also introduced me to raw food, one of the things that I really believe has super-charged my life! Shortly after we “met” online, she got into hooping in a big way. Her passion for what she does is incredible, & when a reader suggested I interview her for my career series, I was flabbergasted that I hadn’t already thought of it myself!
So, without further ado… !
Tell us about what you do.
I am the visionary behind a transformational love revolution going on in Tokyo, involving lots of glitter, truckloads of laughter, massive amounts of hip action and pretty colored rings. I am a hoop dance performer and instructor in Tokyo, the founder of hooplovers.com.
How long ago did you start on this path?
Gala, I am not sure if you are aware of this but it was you and your infinite inspiration that reunited me with my inner dancer and brought hoops back into my life. Back in the days when you were orchestrating international dress up days, early 2007, a gorgeous gal called Rachel dressed up as her alter-ego Heidi von Hula. Clicking on her short video and watching what she could do with a hula hoop put me in a spin. I have not spent a day since without a hula hoop around some part of my body! Thank you Gala and Heidi von Hula!
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
About one year. In that time I took some hoop dance classes, hooped every day for up 4 hours a day, spent my spare time glued to hoop dance vids on youtube, dreamed big, visualized what life would be like as a hoop star, started planning and then headed to Sydney to meet up with my Hoop Dance mentor and sister in the spin, Bunny Hoop Star.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
I think life is pretty much filled with happenings, big and small, that are overflowing with significance. There are a few major events in my hooping journey that come to mind. Firstly, my Mum visiting me in Tokyo and buying me my first pink, sparkling, dance hoop as a surprise. Realizing that hoop dance was a global revolution and that there were huge communities of hoopers and hoop entrepreneurs, many of whom were women was a big awakening. Going to Sydney to complete a Hoop Teacher training journey with Bunny Hoop Star and create a life changing connection. Seeing a positive, fun filled, lively community of hoopers grow in Tokyo. Opening up to the possibly that dreams really do come true, thoughts become things and I could become a Tokyo hoop star if that is what I desired. Believing in myself. Having talented, positive and passionate people around me.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
Behind all the glitter, color and spinning hoops there is an intense amount of work that goes into running my own business. I have a degree in Marketing that I guess helps with the business side of things. I have an Education degree, I was a primary school teacher for years before embarking on this spiraling journey, the knowledge and experience I gained from being in education most definitely helps me to create and execute hoop dance classes, workshops and other events. I know of a hula hoop star who has a degree in hooping from a Melbourne institute, I wish I had thought of that! I don’t think qualifications are essential but experience, passion, dedication, belief and training are!
Hoop Dance Teacher training is extremely valuable, learning from the mistresses and masters of the hoop is priceless. There are teacher training courses in Australia, the US, the UK and possibly other countries around the world.
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
There are so many things that make having your own business a worthwhile choice, so many things I am grateful for. I can set my own schedule, be in charge of my life, know that the possibilities for promotion and advancement are limitless, my earning capacity has no cap on it, I can choose the people I surround myself with, connect with positive, like-minded peeps…I could go on and on…
What’s the worst thing?
Hhhmmm I am not sure, thinking about tax, insurance, account keeping, probably the financial side of things. There is no one to deposit a lump of money in my bank account each month, now it comes from many places and has to be shared around a lot more so that requires keeping track of.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
I go to bed every night feeling giggly on the inside (not just from lack of sleep), I often find myself bursting into a huge smile when I think about the state of my life, I get to play dress ups with my friends at least once a week, I have met some of the most amazing people from all over the world, I have found the ultimate form of body changing exercise that doesn’t feel like I am exercising and I have over 50 hula hoops in my house… I would say between 95 and 100. When I am teaching a hoop dance class filled with big smiles, pumping tunes and spinning hoops it is definitely 100!
Although to be really honest, it is not all glam and glitz, there is a crazy number of hours spent in front of my mac formulating class plans, event ideas, confirming reservations, doing paperwork, getting gigs, finding space in Tokyo (ha ha what a joke! Everyone knows there is no such thing.), organizing schedules, training for shows, meeting for rehearsals, making hoops, planning costumes, creating new opportunities, updating websites and promoting hoop dance in Tokyo. When I am in the flow and feeling really creative while dealing with the business side of things I would say 85-100. When I am still up at 4am trying to get things done I would say 70.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
I am a Capricorn, I think being a workaholic is part of who I am, the goat always climbing the mountain. I am doing what I love so most of the time it feels like play, but if that is the case I play A LOT!! I was working as a full time primary school teacher when I started Hoop Lovers as well as running TokyoMade with my partner Masao. It came to a point where I had to make some big choices about how to balance my life, I felt like I was working 24 hours a day. The choice came very easily, I felt a strong pull towards being in charge of my own life, it felt really right and was a natural progression.
The fantastic thing about being a Hoop Dancer is that a lot of the work is creative, energizing and great exercise for my body and mind. So even though I feel like I ‘work’ about 18 – 20 hours a day now, shared between Hoop Lovers and TokyoMade, much of the work is fuelled by passion, fun and creativity. Dancing around with hoops is considered part of my work.
Other leading hoop dance teachers and performers work extremely hard, it is their life work, they inspire me greatly.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Go and buy a hoop now! Assuming that you are already a pretty funky hooper with a passion to share the joys of hoop dance in your community and possibly the world, my suggestion would be go and spend some time with other hoop teachers, performers and hoop dance business owners.
...How about number two?
Be prepared to dance, work and play! Teaching and performing requires late nights, early mornings, heavy lifting (carrying twenty hula hoops around Tokyo is always a fun challenge), learning new skills very quickly, crazy amounts of networking, hours of dance, practice, drills and play. Be prepared to balance this. Know when to take time to chill, your body is the most precious piece of equipment, take care of it!
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
More Japanese! Being a business owner can be tough, being a business owner in another country with different rules, language, customs and ideas is a wild ride! I am an Australian living in Japan with my gorgeous Japanese partner, I consider myself the luckiest kid in the world that I have his full support and endless help. I like being an independent business woman but I realize my limits and accept that I need a lot of support and help to do what I do. Being a foreigner here presents me with outstanding opportunities but there are also barriers that I find tough sometimes.
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
Lots of people come up to me and say, ‘Oh you are the hula hoop girl!” while swivelling their hips in a giant circular motion. That technique would never keep a hoop up for very long, but their giant hip action with imaginary hoop is entertaining for me to see. People also often assume that the only thing you can do with a hoop is spin it around your waist – definitely not true.
What is the best thing that’s happened to you as a consequence of the work you do?
Again, if I really thought about this and let loose I would be typing a crazy long list. My life has changed so much for the better. I have been given the opportunity to connect with some of the most inspiring, colorful and talented people in Japan, Australia and the US as well as others from around the globe. Hooping on some pretty major stages in Tokyo has been exhilarating, and looking forward to some even bigger shows globally. The chance to go to the USA for Hoop Camp, meet up with my idols and be one of the hoopers leading the San Francisco Love Fest Parade this year was a wonderfully wild experience.
The connections that I have made with other women through my teaching of hoop dance has really made an impact on my life. I have made so many wonderful friends as a result, I cherish this very much!
I have learned so much about who I am as a woman, a student, a business owner, a friend, a leader, a performer, a partner, a dancer, a learner and a teacher, I continue to soak up the learning experiences.
Physically I have become much stronger, more flexible, lost lingering fat and shaped myself into a form that I feel really comfortable with, that in itself is a really powerful transformation. I remember the days when I would wear a long t-shirt over my bikinis at the beach, these days I feel at ease whipping hoops around my body for hundreds of people dressed in little more than my underwear. I have found a path that makes me feel alive and more in tune with myself and others. I have got so much to be grateful for.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
Seeing others gain joy and positive benefits from hoop dance, being part of a very creative global community, a desire to improve and a need to know what surprises are coming up next. Nurturing the relationships I have formed thanks to hoop dance and a need to strengthen my body and mind even more. Also, very honestly, I love the attention!
Do you think you’ll continue doing this for the rest of your life?
I have a lot to learn, I entered a very new world/industry at the age of 30, I feel like it has only just begun. I see myself as a learner and teacher for the rest of my life. I don’t think I will be performing for the rest of my life, I am 31 years old so I think I have a few years left to rock the stage. I see myself, in about 5 years, heading more strongly towards helping communities and schools to inject more right brain/ whole brain activities into their curriculum through hoops and other performing arts.
What are your next big steps?
Hoop Lovers collaborative dance workshops, Hoop Lovers retreats and Hoop Lovers in Australia. I am also looking into aerial hoop training and other forms of flow toy and fire art training. A gorgeous costume and glittering hoop range is in the making.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
I adore and admire the other strong, independent women of hoop dance, such as Bunny Hoop Star, Hoop Girl and Spiral, just to name a few. I am inspired by their openness to life, their individual style, I admire their voice, their ability to share their thoughts, ideas and strength with others. Beyond that I just love the way they move, groove and rock the hoops! Hoop Dance is definitely not just for women though, I am a huge fan of the powerful moves shaking up the hoop dance scene offered up by men such as Baxter and Rich. I am also a big fan of Philo Hagen, a Bay area hooper who keeps track of the global hoop dance scene via internet hooping mecca www.hooping.org.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [30] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
i want to be,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Some Truth
[ 28 November 2008, 15:17 ]
Dependin’ on the day & dependin’ on what I ate
I’m anywhere from 20 to 35 pounds overweight
I got red eyes & one of them’s lazy
& they both squint when the sun shines so I look crazy.
I’m albino man, I know I’m pink & pale
& I’m hairy as hell, everywhere but fingernails
I shave a cranium that ain’t quite shaped right
Face type shiny, I stay up & write late nights.
My wardrobe is jeans & faded shirts
A mixture of what I like & what I wear to work.
I’m not mean & got a neck full of razor bumps
I’m not the classic profile of what the ladies want…
You might think I’m depressed as can be
But when I look in the mirror I see sexy ass me!
& if that’s somethin’ you can’t respect then that’s peace
My life’s better without you actually.
To everyone out there, who’s a little different
I say damn a magazine, these are God’s fingerprints
You can call me ugly but can’t take nothing from me
I am what I am, doctor you ain’t gotta love me.
Lyrics from everyone’s favourite albino Muslim rapper, Brother Ali!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [21] Tags: inspiration,
video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Your Fortune For The Day
[ 25 November 2008, 20:31 ]
...As you were!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [116] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 24th November 2008
[ 23 November 2008, 17:08 ]
Download Poladroid, drag your favourite photos into it to create polaroids, then make yourself a huge wallpaper featuring all your best people, moments & places!
Buy something with sequins on it in preparation for the holiday season.
Issue yourself a Twitter challenge! Try using only song lyrics to express yourself; write all your tweets in haiku format; only write positive updates for a week; chart your good deeds; rhyme everything for a week, etc. (Haven’t signed up yet? GET ON IT!)
Decide to celebrate the season in stereotypical, almost cliché fashion. If you’re in winter, put on a Cosby sweater, drink a mug of hot cocoa, & take photos of you & your friends looking après-ski. If you’re in summer, don enormous shades, get a spray tan & book yourself tickets to an outdoor music festival!
Buy a good sex manual (I like Paul Joannides’ Guide To Getting It On — it’s hilarious as well as informative). Learn it! Live it!
Email an old friend, & call a truce.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [53] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!What Should I Wear?
[ 18 November 2008, 08:00 ]
People often email me saying,
“I’m (insert age) & (insert size), what should I wear?”
There is no real answer to this. No one “should” wear anything, except for something that makes them happy. Just because you think you’re too young, old, skinny or big, that doesn’t have anything to do with what you wear.
Curvy girls don’t have to dress to de-emphasise their shape, just like girls with little boobs don’t have to dust bronzer on their chest in an elaborate pattern so they can create the illusion of big breastisses. The whole concept is ridiculous. What is beautiful to me is not necessarily beautiful to you, & vice versa. Different things appeal to different people, & that’s wonderful! Who wants a homogenised society?
What you wear is entirely up to you! You are not obligated to wear something to please your mother, father, husband, wife, sister, brother, manager or local clergyman. You can, if you want to, but it isn’t usually a recipe for sartorial joy.
When you look at well-dressed people, the #1 thing you start to notice that they ALL have in common — regardless of their personal style, shape or budget — is that they look confident & happy with what they’re wearing! If you feel confident, you can get away with pretty much anything, & when it comes to that, I can’t tell you what will make you feel that way! Some of us like tutus, some of us like tuxedo pants, others like lederhosen. It’s a beautiful personal mystery, & one that only you can find the answers to.
If you want to know how to “minimise your problem areas”, buy a Trinny & Susannah book & be done with it, but honestly, that’s not the way to make yourself happy. You do not have to dress like a suburban mother just because you have a bangin’ booty, or luscious thighs, or a little belly!
Know this: There is no such thing as the perfect body. We all have different views of what is hot or sexy or crush-worthy, & that’s amazing, & to be embraced! You are gorgeous just as you are. Don’t hide yourself away because you don’t have Marilyn Monroe’s curves or Kate Moss’ frame.
For more information on decoding your own personal style, check out Top 5 Ways To Define Your Own Personal Style, What Does Your Clothing Say About You? & The Definition Of Real Style (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying & Love The iCiNG). I’m going to be writing more on personal style really soon, probably on my flight to New Zealand today, in fact, so sit tight!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [51] Tags: advice,
how to,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 11th November 2008
[ 11 November 2008, 09:17 ]
Take a photo of yourself looking really, really happy. Bonus points: link to it in the comments! (Here’s my submission.)
Change the way you walk. It seems like a little thing, but it can make a huge difference. I had a friend who used to bounce up on her foot with every step — it was adorable & made her even more awesome than she already was. Or try to move more fluidly, more gracefully. See how it makes you feel.
Give your friends things that they can wear. There is nothing better than wearing something that someone you love has given you, because you feel a connection to them the whole time it’s against your skin. Give your friend a necklace, knit them a scarf, buy a charm for their bracelet or make them a tote bag, & then tell them why.
Flirt more. Flirt with everyone, even people you don’t really like or aren’t really interested in. First of all, it’s excellent practice, & secondly, it makes everyone feel better.
Develop an appreciation for marmalade.
Adopt this as your credo:
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [133] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Magazine Founder & Editor!
[ 10 November 2008, 08:04 ]
What is Coilhouse? It’s a love letter to alternative culture, in a time when alternative culture no longer exists. It’s the squirming, excitable brainchild of three amazing women: Meredith Yayanos, Nadya Lev & Zoetica Ebb. All three serve as editors, & all three bring their own unique experience & charms to the table. Coilhouse started as a blog in October 2007, & made the flying leap to print a little less than a year later, in August of ’08 — & with issue 02 due out before the end of the year, it’s clear that they have no intentions of slowing down any time soon! Their blog is brilliant, & their magazine is truly unparalleled. In a world where the word “magazine” is synonymous with “dross”, Coilhouse is glorious, a glistening tribute to all that is magnificent about ink on paper.
Of course, running a blog & putting together a magazine — especially when it’s not your full-time gig! — is a task of elephantine proportions. Here then, for your mind-blowing pleasure, is an interview with Meredith, Nadya & Zoetica!
Tell us about what you do.
Meredith: Well, in addition to this wonderful collaboration with Nadya and Zo, I do a few other jobby-type things: making music, performing with a circus, low-budget wardrobe and prop styling, and various boring part-time jobs. But at the heart of everything, I’m just another one of those typical, overstimulated Gen X spastics who’s constantly shouting “HOLY CRAP, do you know about ________? It’s amazing!” and tossing media at anyone willing to absorb it. Music, books, comics, movies, frippery, perverted internet memes, whatever. Just about all of my output reflects a compulsion to disseminate.
Nadya: Mer, Zo and I have been working on a magazine and blog called Coilhouse for a little over a year. We launched the blog in October ’07, released Issue 01 last August, and we’re just putting the final details on Issue 02, which will be out in December.
Zoetica: Coilhouse, the unruly baby conceived with my comrades Meredith and Nadya, is growing up fast and takes up much of my headspace. In addition to this alternative art and culture magazine/blog, I paint, draw, photograph ladies and desperately try to find time to read. Someimes I model, too. Not long ago, I was part of a cabaret troupe and spent about a year doing makeup, mostly special effects stuff. Unfortunately, I’m confined to a body that seems to require more than 2 hours of sleep every so often. While I’m looking into more efficient housing for my brain, caffeine is a close associate.
How long ago did you start on this path?
Meredith: I’m a lifelong bookworm and have always enjoyed writing. I’ve been dabbling in various forms of journalism since junior high, from making homemade zines, to editing my high school’s literary magazine, to co-running a college newspaper, to doing copy-editing and grunt work for a progressive rag in NYC, to penning columns for indie magazines, to the occasional freelance gig for more mainstream publications.
Nadya: My first print endeavor occurred in second grade, when my dad bought a Xerox machine. In junior high, I wrote some articles for the school paper. In high school, I got very involved with and eventually edited our literary magazine, Demogorgon. In college, my favorite class was called “Magazine Editing and Design.” Then I became interested in photography and began to contribute to all the alt-y publications: Gothic Beauty, Elegy, Meltdown, Marquis, Skin Two, etc.
Zoetica: Always being told that I would end up writing prevented me from doing it in my teenage years. The fact that I’m a huge bookworm, and thus hyper-critical of my own work, didn’t help. For a long time I filled dozens of journals cover to cover and excelled in school writing classes, but defiantly avoided taking writing seriously. It was difficult to shed my inhibitions, but in recent years much has changed and I finally feel like I have something to offer. Blogging helped a lot, actually. Writing in my own pressure-free webspace had everything to do with getting comfortable and eventually, getting serious.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
Meredith: Wait, I’m supposed to be making real money doing this?!
But seriously, I only committed to journalism as a potentially viable career option once Coilhouse got cookin’.
Nadya: Because of the print quality and the fact that Coilhouse is available in major bookstores, it may look like our full-time job. I wish! It may happen some day, it may not. Right now we’re all working very hard at other jobs and pouring pretty much all the free time we have into the blog and the magazine.
Zoetica: That is just a hope at the present – photography remains my chief source of income. One day!
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
Meredith: The latter, mainly. I’ve been stubbornly persistent, and I’ve been plain lucky. One of the most unexpected (and lucky) turns was meeting Nadya two years ago. After a few months of knowing one another, she just asked, “hey, you want to try doing this thing with Zo and me?” I was pleasantly stunned and hopped aboard without thinking about it too much. And here we all are.
Nadya: There was one seriously humiliating moment that made me decide to start a magazine. The story goes like this: when I was 21, I landed the covers of both Gothic Beauty and the 50th-anniversary issue of Skin Two, which made me think that I was a hot shit photographer (I was not). High on the feeling of appearing in print, I set my sights on what I considered the next level: the fashion glossies. I called up their Manhattan offices leaving hopeful voicemails, never to hear back from a single one. But by some strange twist of fate, when I called up Flaunt, one of their founders, Long Nguyen, picked up the phone. He introduced himself and told me that he was stuck in the office working late on a deadline, and very agitated as a result. Naively, I began to tell him my story of being a young photographer dreaming of a shot to submit my work to their amazing magazine. Well, he totally shot me down. “Listen,” he said, “do you know how many people call us every day and try to get published? Dozens. Hundreds. You think you’re something special? You’re not. Do you know how much crap we’re forced to look at every day? You can’t even imagine.” We stayed on the phone for awhile, and he belittled every attempt I made to get them to even look at my work. Anxious to get off the phone with me, he cut off my pleas with a request for my phone number. “OK,” I said, “it’s 2-1-5…“ Before I could finish, he cut me off again, crying out exasperatedly: “OH my GOD, you’re not even in New York?!” He pretended to take down the rest of my number and hung up, leaving me deflated and humiliated. My dreams of being a part of a really cool magazine were crushed. That’s when I realized how much I loved magazines. I’d show him. I’d show all of them! In hindsight, the whole thing’s really funny. I still love Flaunt.
Zoetica: Back in Russia, my father was a journalist and my mother worked for a publishing house, so the industry had long been part of my life. I’d been writing on my website and for the Suicidegirls newswire when Nadya approached me about starting a web and print magazine. By this time I’d had a taste of being published – my art, photography and modeling work had all been printed in various mags and I was hungry for more. With writing experience now under my belt I could hardly wait to get started on a new project. The more I talked with Nadya, the more I realized this was something I would dedicate myself to long-term; electricity was in the air. We were thrilled when Mer came on board and thus our little trinity was forged.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
Meredith: I don’t think an official collegiate degree is necessary, but one must, at the very least, be a devoted autodidact. One should be well-read, and I think it’s crucial to have a solid grasp of grammar and syntax. The following unofficial qualifications are equally important: reflexive problem-solving skills, a healthy imagination, and the ability to graciously give and receive constructive criticism. Most importantly, I think we all have to be responsible about what we say and how we say it. Especially in these frontier days on the info superhighway, where anyone can claim authority and say anything they like… and the same goes for self-publishing.
Nadya: The traditional way to get a job at a big-time magazine is to get an internship and work up from there. In order to even get that internship, most times you need to have a degree. If you’re outside the print industry and looking to start your own magazine, I still believe that having some experience is crucial. Mer, Zo and I all had some experience in print before working together on Coilhouse. Not enough experience to get a call for a job interview from Conde Nast, but enough to feel confident going into it and start researching in areas we knew we lacked. So to anyone that wants to start a magazine, I’d suggest you help at least one other magazine first. If nothing else, it’ll help you decide if it’s something that you really want to do.
Zoetica: Above all, deep respect for the work along with passion for constant improvement are essential.
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
Meredith: Making my own hours and basically just ruminating about whatever I feel passionately about. Getting paid a bit of pocket money to sit in a cafe or a park or on my rooftop, writing about whatever pumps my ‘nads? Bliss.
Zoetica: Besides the benefits of making my own schedule and doing what I love? Waking up and having the first thought in my head be “Coilhouse”. Even though I’ve always been consumed with various endeavors, the notion of something a partnership has poured its heart and soul into is immensely gratifying in a completely different way.
What’s the worst thing?
Meredith: As I’ve said, I’m an active freelance musician. At this point, I still make most of my bread that way. I have session work, bands I tour with, teaching gigs, and recording projects with strict deadlines. Balancing my time (and my brain) between writerly and musical obligations can get stressful. Also, living hand-to-mouth is not fun. Still, I vastly prefer my life as it is to cubicle purgatory, and I’m grateful every day that I get to do what I’m doing.
Zoetica: My time management has suffered greatly. Presently, I’m happy with the illustrations I’ve been creating for the print magazine – it’s the one way I’ve been able to combine my two biggest passions. I’m still trying to smoothly make time to work on everything else I love while leaving time for actual fun. Life is short and stopping to enjoy it is of dire importance, but it’s been a precarious balancing act thus far.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
Meredith: I’m happier right now with what I’ve been able to accomplish career-wise than I’ve ever been. But there’s still a lot of room for improvement, so I’ll say I’m at a respectable 89. Not too shabby, right?
Nadya: 95. I don’t take a moment of this for granted. It’s not always “fun,” but I remind myself every day that many people don’t come as close to realizing their dream as we have. There are days when things definitely don’t go our way, even some days on which I want to give up. That’s why it’s 95, not 100. But I definitely try to keep those moments to a minimum.
Zoetica: I’m not an easily satisfied person so I’d place myself at 80. I’ll be truly happy only when I’m finally able to paint and write simultaneously, while looking out at my parked rocket from the balcony of my Martian tower.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that?
Meredith: Yep. I’m a workaholic, and I’ve got my fingers in a lot of pies. Don’t sleep much, and run on caffeine and adrenaline. I’m all right with that, mainly because I can’t remember ever being any other way. I have a feeling my comrades may give you similar answers. We’re some high-steppin’ fillies.
Nadya: I am not a textbook workaholic. I’m a person of extremes; when I work hard, I work really hard, sacrificing food and sleep to get a task done. But when I decide that I don’t want to work, I turn into a vegetable; I don’t return emails, I don’t charge my dead phone, and I usually end up doing something useless that I take very little pleasure in, like having an ANTM marathon on YouTube. With Coilhouse, a lot of my bad work habits have improved, but they’re still there. At my best, I do work very hard and reward myself with a type of rest that’s actually positive for me, like going for a walk, reading or visiting friends. Even though Coilhouse is technically my “second full-time job,” I really believe in work-life balance. I just wish I was better at managing my time.
Zoetica: It’s a truth I’m comfortable with accepting, yes. This level of madness is not only normal but necessary for small startups such as ours. Mer, Nadya and I are constantly busy with a variety of personal projects while keeping the Coilhouse engine chugging – workaholism is the holy juice the gets us through it all.
Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
Meredith: Oh, definitely. You’re going to find restless, multi-tasking, frantic type A folks in just about any line of work, but journalists are an especially hyper-extended lot.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Meredith: Stay curious, stay open, and really make the effort to listen to people when they speak. Empathy. Always.
Nadya: Get a job that’s completely separate from your most ambitious pursuits, and use it to fund what you want to do most. It’s sad but true: what we love to do often gives us very little money, and what we’re good at, but not passionate about, is what pays the bills. The idea is that eventually, you can take off doing your own thing, but not overnight. So in the meantime, learn to enjoy that job – don’t treat it as the obstacle that prevents you from doing what you love, but what enables you to do it. Learn as much as you can there and apply it to what you love to do in your spare time.
Zoetica: Read. It may not sound like much, but when you life is taken over by magazine work, time to read becomes precious and vital. Brains need input to produce good writing – it’s impossible to have one without the other. Read, damn it.
...How about number two?
Meredith: Read and write constantly. Seriously, write something creative every single day. Don’t worry if it’s caca. Just keep the channel open.
Nadya: Learn to listen to other people. A magazine is a collaborative venture, and you have to surrender your ego and listen to what others say. If you do this with the right people – people who also listen to you – that’s when the best possible product emerges.
Zoetica: Understanding the production process is just as important as polishing your writing and research! Get to know all aspects of the business end, even if business is not your direct responsibility.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
Meredith: Honestly, I wish I’d had more confidence in myself and my abilities in my early-to-mid twenties. I was too timid. I should have just gone for it, instead of waiting around for permission from… who? From no one! Morrissey said it well: “Shyness is nice, and / Shyness can stop you / From doing all the things in life you’d like to.”
Nadya: I wish I’d known more about the advertising side of things. I still do. We’re trying different things and we’ve had success selling ads, but not as quickly as I’d like. Magazines live and die by their ad revenue, and that’s really what we need in order for the magazine to stand on its own.
Zoetica: I wish I’d taken my writing seriously, sooner. I wish I’d known everything there is to know about the business of publishing and advertising. Ultimately, however, there’s no way to know all without trying it out hands on. Actually doing this has been the greatest learning experience I could have asked for.
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
Meredith: That print is dead. For alternative publications like Coilhouse, it’s anything but! Another misconception: that a tiny, close-knit, somewhat green group of folks can’t pony up to create a marketable publication that’s really engaging, relevant and beautiful. We’re proof that it’s possible.
Nadya: I think a lot of people believe that running a traditional print magazine and a very involved, daily-updated blog with lots of original content are mutually exclusive activities. But for us, the two formats are inexorably linked. We pour just as much effort into the blog as the print magazine, and at this stage one can’t exist without the other. If not for all the people who bought the magazine because they found out about it through the blog, we wouldn’t be able to put out Issue 02. And if not for our blog, we wouldn’t have been able to attract some of our collaborators, advertisers and distributors as fast as we did. Our main national distributor, RCS, said to us: “if your magazine is anything like your blog, we will carry you starting with Issue 01.” So there you go.
Zoetica: That alternative culture is an ominous creature of exclusivity. It is not so! Nurturing the strange and off-beat does not mean simultaneously spouting hatred at all things mainstream. Too often fringe media sources take a stance of habitual disillusionment. I cannot agree with this toxic and wasteful world view. At Coilhouse, we curate content that gets us excited, in hope of igniting the same kind of inspiration in our readers. We’re not shy to yell “Hey, peeps – check out this awesome thing we love!” and our slogan “Inform / Inspire / Infect” illustrates this credo well.
What is the best thing that’s happened to you as a consequence of the work you do?
Meredith: Coilhouse has helped to foster a really nurturing online community, and I’ve made some wonderful friends because of it. The overwhelming majority of readers I’ve communicated with are folks I’d love to have over for tea. These are curious, intelligent people who favor sincerity over snark, and creativity over cynicism. Creating a space for that has been so important to me, and really healing on a personal level.
Nadya: It’s going to sound sappy, but the best thing has really been the people I’ve met and friendships I’ve made. Our readers, our contributors, our advertisers… everyone we’ve come in contact with has been awesome. When we had our launch party, I was just floored by how diverse the readership was. Doing Coilhouse has exposed me to a more interesting and diverse group than ever before.
Zoetica: Without a doubt, the wonderful community that’s come together through this project. Because of Coilhouse I’ve aligned with people I hope to know indefinitely. When we started out I couldn’t have dreamed of such a curious, erudite and all around formidable bunch to stick by us through this endeavor.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
Meredith: Working as a team with Zo and Nadya, and knowing that we’re all counting on one another to keep this going, definitely spurs me onward. I think it’s safe to say that all three of us really want Coilhouse to grow and evolve, and we’re all working really hard to keep improving and expanding the venture.
Nadya: Mostly the idea that it gets better all the time. We’re comparing the proofs from Issue 02 to Issue 01, and it looks like a totally different magazine – in a good way. The blog currently has 5 times the number of readers that it had a year ago. The quality of writing and amount of different guest contributors has gone up. We’re still learning new things, branching out. We have a lot to look forward to.
Zoetica: Knowing that we can reach so many. A kid from the boonies without web access can now come across our magazine at a local store and discover an entirely new universe. This really began to sink in when we received an email from college students who found us in their school’s book shop. It’s a wonderful and humbling sensation that makes me want to do better, always.
Do you think you’ll continue doing this for the rest of your life?
Meredith: Well, I know I’ll always be a writer, and I’m pretty sure I’ll still be the same ol’ culture vulture when I’m 93, zooming around on a prune fart-powered jetpack, hurling obscure records and esoteric books at people’s heads. As for Coilhouse specifically? Who knows! But let’s shoot for the moon.
Nadya: There are many other things that I want to do in life that I feel Coilhouse will prepare me for. My real passion is writing, and all the writing I’ve been doing for Coilhouse is helping me come out of my shell and get comfortable with the process, just the same way that doing photography helped me figure out that I want to do a magazine. But I think that if Coilhouse succeeds that it’ll be a very fulfilling outlet and rewarding collaboration for many years.
Zoetica: I’ll always be an artist, writer – of this I can be sure. I’ll always seek warmth in particular corners of the world and the web, where like-minded individuals cluster and exchange ideas. Of course, the future is uncertain but I hope with all my might that Coilhouse will continue to flourish. And I intend to do everything within my power to make it so. To victory!
What are your next big steps?
Meredith: I want to become more financially stable, buy some health insurance, and find a way to travel and write about it. Mostly, I just want to keep doing what I’m doing. So, in other words, I really want to see Coilhouse chew bubblegum and kick ass.
Nadya: As far as making the magazine succeed, it’s all about getting more advertisers.
Zoetica: Bigger, better, faster, stronger! Beyond that, I’m in the early brainstorming phase of designing Coilhouse merchandise. Earlier this year I joined forces with future fashion label Plastik Wrap to create a limited T-shirt line with the Coilhouse space girl on them, but that’s just the beginning.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
Meredith: My old friends Douglas Wolk and Warren Ellis spring immediately to mind. Those two inspire the holy effing hell out of me. Douglas is one of the most consistently imaginative, thoughtful journalists working these days. Warren, in addition to being a prolific and gifted storyteller, has this uncanny knack for online curating/networking/tastemaking. Both are walking encyclopedias, both are generous with what they learn, and each has patiently helped me muddle through all sorts of ungainly creative molting processes over the last ten years. I’ve got a slew of mentors back in NYC: musician/musicologist/professor Kyle Gann (brilliant guy, got me my first internship at the Village Voice), musician/bootlegger/know-it-all Sport Murphy (proof that you can always cram a little bit more information into your cranium, and that cynicism and worldliness need never overtake one’s sense of wonder), singer/composer/radio programmer David Garland (a gentle, thoughtful man whose interview style reveals the vital importance of really hearing something), and radio personality/landmark preservationist/outsider music expert Irwin Chusid (a top tier documentarian and chronicler who never worries about whether his subject matter will have an audience, and whose career is a great example of the success one can have if they just trust their inner compass). Suzanne Gerber (Wurzeltod) continues to impress me to no end. Then there’s that weirdo over at Ectomo, Ross Rosenberg; he’s ridiculously clever and funny. On that same tip, I’m dying to bake Cintra Wilson some red velvet cupcakes, and I’d love to snort some of Hunter S. Thompson’s ashes.
Nadya: In the publishing industry, I definitely admire Sandra Yates, the woman who founded Sassy. Yates was a single mom of two who worked as a typist, a messenger and a secretary before becoming the only woman on a sales staff of 30 at an Australian daily paper. Yates was sent to the US for two weeks, and there she got the idea to launch Sassy, one of the most progressive and meaningful publications ever made. Yates was not directly, creatively involved with the magazine, but she made the right decisions about who could make it work, like when she hired a then-unknown, 24-year-old Jane Pratt to helm the project. Doing sales for Sassy must have been an incredibly difficult job because the magazine rarely backed down from controversial topics. Why would anyone want to advertise in a new teen magazine that sparked boycotts in the Midwest when they could put ads in the tried-and-tested, decades-old publications like Seventeen and YM? It was Yates’ job to convince advertisers why, and she kept the magazine afloat against all odds for many years. Going way back in history, I really admire Kurt Schwitters and El Lissitsky, who, in the 20s and 30s, collaborated on Merz Magazine – one of the most beautiful avant-garde magazines ever made. It still looks awesome. I was looking at a lot of Merz when trying to plan a layout for Coilhouse. Another person who really inspires me is Darby Romeo, who published Ben is Dead. Darby had a very distinctive voice and proved to me that you don’t need a big company to publish a cool magazine. My boyfriend at the time bought me a copy of their last-ever issues at Borders. I also have tremendous respect for Mark Frauenfelder, who published bOING bOING magazine starting 1988. The BoingBoing blog has been in action for over 10 years, and continues to fascinate and inspire me. It really is the best.
Zoetica: Fellow artist and writer Jhonen Vasquez has seen me through work endeavours of the past 8 years. He reminds me to work hard and not to take anything too seriously. Warren Ellis is a brilliant storyteller, productivity machine and perpetual source of awe. There is a growing network of brilliant young women here in the US who stop at nothing to do what they love. One of them is artist, entrepreneur and kindred spirit Molly Crabapple; she continues to show me that drive is everything and is one motivating young lady. From the old school: Mikhail Bulgakov, who started out as a journalist but is best known for his novels, and the irreverent science fiction gods Strugatsky brothers. They remain my biggest inspirations to this day.Though some of the Soviet nuance gets lost in translation, I don’t think anyone’s life is complete until they’ve read The Master and Margarita and Roadside Picnic.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [39] Tags: how to,
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i want to be Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!What Do You Want To Do Before 2008 Ends?
[ 7 November 2008, 15:29 ]
What do you want to achieve before the end of the year? You have 55 days to make something amazing happen!
By the start of 2009, my gift to myself will be having my three-year visa for the United States sorted out. SO EXCITED!
New York is where I want to be. It’s my favourite place, & it fills me with immense amounts of delight. I love this city, & I feel good here. That is worth pursuing. I’m so happy about the idea of putting down some roots & getting really comfortable.
There are a lot of steps (& a fair bit of cash) involved in the process, but it’s time to make it happen — & it’s my primary goal for the rest of the year.
How about you? What do you want to start — or finish?
If you have ideas but you’re not sure how to get going, have a look at… How To Set Amazing Goals Motivation New Year’s Resolution Ideas! Pow-Wows & The Law Of Attraction Being Happy
Make a plan, & make it real!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [109] Tags: inspiration,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!4th Grade TiLT
[ 6 November 2008, 15:30 ]
I received this email today, & it blew me away, so I had to share it with you.
“Ok, so you don’t know me but I am likely, nope surely one of your HUGEST fans. I have no idea how I discovered your blog, but I adore you. You are the cool kid I want to be. You have this touch that when I read something you write I get it, I juuuust get it. Anyway, I started a Things You Love Thursdays email to my friends and family. Really, I only have 22 people on my TiLT list. But it has exponentially EXPLODED into this thing where I get comments like “I look forward to your TiLTs Thursday mornings” and people are passing it on.
Yesterday I got an email that said that my girlfriend that I went to teaching university with was sharing this with her grade 4 class:
I do TiLT with my students every Thursday and they love it. Here are a few responses that I will share:
Today I got 6-8 emails back of TiLTs from some of my closest friends/family. The best part is that even people on my TiLT list that know none of my other friends and family hit “reply to all” so everyone gets the TiLT joy! They were fabulous!
Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that you have inspired even us Canadians to be grateful and thank the universe for all of our blessings. So for this I thank YOU miss Gala beautiful! I have had the worst year of my life and I feel like your blog and your hilarious and wonderful take on life has inspired me to keep going! So thanks a super bunch!”
I am so filled with happy right now. & I swear, “bacon!!!!” is the best TiLT entry in the history of the universe! Consider this a late addition to my own TiLT!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [45] Tags: inspiration,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Last Night In New York City
[ 5 November 2008, 13:47 ]
Last night was unbelievable. I was so excited as I watched the election results roll in, & then I started hearing people whooping in the street. I decided there was no way I was going to stay in, & so made my way up to Union Square to celebrate. This is what it was like.
People bursting into song, jumping up & down, chanting, dancing, banging drums & pots & pans, crowd-surfing, climbing statues, waving flags, hugging strangers, smiling & laughing. I have never seen anything like it in my entire life.
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
Hell yes.
For those of you who want to extend the excitement all the way to their eardrums, you might like this mix by DJ Concept. It’s called Change Is Now, & I’ve been enjoying it all day! (I found it courtesy of my awesome friend Jake! Yay!)
What was the atmosphere like where you live?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [132] Tags: inspiration,
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video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Am Exhilarated & Terrified At The Same Time
[ 4 November 2008, 09:20 ]
Okay, America… Make us proud.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [128] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Health Counsellor!
[ 27 October 2008, 08:52 ]
iCiNG reader & super-sweet girl Rachel Katz tells us what’s it like to be in the world of health counselling!
Tell us about what you do.
As a Certified Health Counselor I help many different people achieve many different goals. The main mission of my business, Natural Zest, is to help people live a long, healthy life and love every minute of it. Clients come to me looking for help with weight, energy, stress and other life issues. Right now I’m focusing on corporate wellness, with individuals and group programs. Corporate programs allow me to help many people at one time. The best thing about what I do is that it’s about more than food, it’s about everything in life that nourishes us – our relationships, spirituality, career and life itself.
How long ago did you start on this path?
I officially decided to go into nutrition in December 2006. I was burned out by my previous career and wanted to find something that met my needs and also allowed me to provide a great service to people around me. What really pushed me into nutrition was my own journey with anxiety and depression. For years I just thought that’s how I was, and who I was. I started changing things about 5 years ago. And three years ago discovered just how important food was in maintaining a good mood. This realization literally changed my life and prompted me to go into nutrition. I enrolled in a Masters in Human Nutrition program as well as a program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I found the school trained me well and set me up to run my business and make this my career.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
It was a year after I decided to work in nutrition when I officially launched Natural Zest and started seeing clients. Natural Zest became my full time job in May of this year.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
For me, the key in switching to health counseling full time was my training at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I realized that I have the knowledge and skills to really make a difference for people. When I realized this, I went out there, worked connections that I already had, talked to people, taught classes and really tried to increase my visibility.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
I think the two most important things are common sense and a bit of humility. We all know that we should eat more vegetables, fruits and whole grains, and eat less processed food, meat, dairy and alcohol. And no single person knows everything, or can tell everyone exactly what to do. I think official qualifications can be helpful, but I know “qualified” people who give less than ideal advice, and people with no qualifications who are very successful at helping people. Ideally there needs to be accountability. If you are irresponsible and create problems for someone, you should be held accountable. But I do not think that one needs to be a certified nutritionist or registered dietitian to talk about food and wellness.
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
Making my own hours! If I want to take a vacation, I can reschedule appointments. No appointments are ever really missed. I also get to choose the people that I work with. It’s important to love what you do, and for me that means loving the people that I work with. I won’t take on a client that isn’t a good fit for me and my personality. At some point I want to start a family. Setting my own schedule will allow me to spend all the time that I want with my children and family without sacrificing my career.
What’s the worst thing?
I’m only accountable to myself and my clients – there are no real deadlines. So sometimes it’s hard to stay on track and get things done. It really takes a great deal of discipline to keep things running.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
I’d have to say 80. I love what I do but I know that there’s more that I could be doing with my business. There’s definitely room for me to grow and expand.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
I am not a workaholic, in fact I could use a bit more of that! Within counseling, yes, there are many workaholics. But for health counselors, it is so important to find that balance between work and personal life. We have to take care of ourselves if we are going to help others. I can’t see how a severe workaholic could really be the best health counselor possible.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Be passionate! Passion is what moves this world!
...How about number two?
Find the training that best suits your personality, whether it is traditional or less so.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
My niche. I wish that I had known that group programs and corporate programs were the way for me to go when I started. It took me many months of trying to work in different populations before I found my niche in corporate wellness.
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
YES! People still think that being healthy with food is all about eating like a rabbit and forbidding your favorite foods from ever entering your mouth again. There are so many delicious foods that are also healthy. My program focuses on crowding out less healthy choices by introducing people to a whole range of yummy alternatives. And no single food is the devil! I still eat cupcakes now and then ;)
What is the best thing that’s happened to you as a consequence of the work you do?
I’m happy and healthy. In the process of starting this business I have learned so much more about myself, what I need, what I want. This has helped me move to what is definitely the best time of my life so far. I couldn’t do that if I didn’t love my career.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
Seeing the changes in my clients. I get to watch people that I genuinely care about lose weight, realize new things about themselves, let go of old destructive habits, learn to love themselves, improve their relationships and more. It’s very rewarding! I see so many people, every day, in every walk of life, that appear unhealthy and unhappy. It doesn’t have to be like that! Yes, it takes time, and effort, but it is possible to change! I like being a part of that engine for change.
Do you think you’ll continue doing this for the rest of your life?
In some form or another, yes. I loved my last career, but it was hard to picture myself doing it 20 years down the road. Health counseling is something that I see in my future for many, many years.
What are your next big steps?
In the near future I just want to keep building my momentum with corporate wellness programs. Down the road I would love to have my own wellness center offering a variety of services. Everyone likes one-stop shopping. To have a center with medical professionals, health counselors, massage therapists, acupuncturists, yoga and more is a dream of mine. Maybe even an organic garden!
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
There are so many people! Joshua Rosenthal, the founder of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, really pulled together so many ideas and theories on nutrition and wellness and put them into a philosophy which he’s taking to the world. Michael Pollan is doing brilliant work in teaching the world about what’s really going on with food. Marion Nestle works every day to educate people and change the policies that affect what we eat. There are so many great people out there working on issues around food – from how it’s grown, to production, to ingestion – and we need some big changes in this country!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [12] Tags: inspiration,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Quote Of The Day -- 25th October 2008
[ 25 October 2008, 06:34 ]
“It doesn’t get easier to tell the truth. It always gets harder. The deeper you go, the harder it gets.
The great revolution of women writing honestly about their lives, their sexual and emotional selves, quickly ossified into convention and was co-opted by formula-writers. Female pain and female sexuality became commonplace. Danger became safe. Risk became predictable. A new convention was born: the convention of the confessional novel.
Start again. Go into your heart and find your own truth. That will always be untarnished, fresh, red as arterial blood. And pulsing.”
— Erica Jong
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [31] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Parisian Style
[ 21 October 2008, 11:42 ]
Much is made of the allegedly superior style of French women — Parisians especially. There was a point a couple of years ago where books on how to live, dress, eat & act like a French woman were being churned out at an alarming rate. That’s slightly de mode now, but when I was in Paris a couple of weeks ago, I made a point of observing the style of the women around me. (I always do, I can’t help it, but this time I made a concerted effort because I was interested in what might have sparked all those previous authors.) Obviously it’s impossible to typify an entire city full of women & the way they dress, but I noticed that French women — or at least Parisian women — do have a very definite aesthetic, despite their individual stylistic differences.
I started making some notes, & they have evolved into the piece below. I hope you enjoy it & of course if you are a French woman, or have lots of experience with them, please feel free to say your bit & share your thoughts!
Parisian women know the importance of good basics (& don’t scrimp on them)
One of the first things I noticed was that even though the temperature had only just started to drop, all the women I saw (honestly, pretty much without exception) were totally kitted out. By this I mean that I didn’t see any of them huddling & looking cold in the Métro. They all had great coats, scarves & good winter boots.
I don’t know how often French women shop, so whether the coats were brand new or not is a mystery to me. The point is that everyone had them. They were good quality coats, clean & smart-looking. This is not to say that they were expensive necessarily, but they were definitely well-made & stylish.
Parisian women seem to grasp the concept that a coat, scarf & boots are going to be their major sartorial staples for at least a few months, & so they buy with this in mind. If you think about it, during winter, all anyone really sees are your coat & shoes, so it makes total sense to get the best you can.
For more tips, see How To Buy A Winter Coat!
Parisian women work from a consistent colour palate
There was not a lot of colour to be seen in Paris, at least when it came to clothing — not on the people or in the shops — but one thing I learned from a few women I spoke to is that they tend to shop with a limited colour palate in mind. This means that they have probably determined ahead of time what works for them & their skin-tone, & they stick to it.
One problem a lot of women have is that they get carried away with excitement & end up buying a raspberry beret (!), a lime green waistcoat or a pair of pink cowboy boots… & then don’t know how to work them into their wardrobe. Obviously if your closet is extensive & well-stocked, this might not be so much of a problem, but most women don’t have that luxury. & so that colourful poncho languishes at the back of the cupboard, because you just cannot work out what to put it with.
If you make a decision to work from a few colours — maybe black, beige, white, royal blue & red, for example — it makes your entire sartorial experience about a billion times more simple & cohesive. While this might sound boring (& it’s certainly not a rule I adhere to — I am totally prone to flights of fancy where I buy turquoise cardigans), if you feel like your style’s a bit of a mess & you don’t know where to begin fixing it, paring the colours down is a great place to start.
Parisian women don’t want to look “perfect”
The major difference between the look of Parisian women & American women that I can see is that Americans want to look absolutely perfect, with not a hair out of place. It’s very pageant style, very shiny teeth. Parisian women don’t want to look that way, & while they may spend just as much time getting ready in the morning, it’s not so that you could blast their head with a leaf-blower & have no effect. Parisian women often wear their hair loose & down, tucked into their scarf or coat if the weather is horrible, or pulled back in a messy chignon. This is one of those things that helps add to that tousled, sex kitten look that so many women are crazy about trying to achieve. You won’t look like that if your hair is pulled back so severely it doubles as an amateur face-lift!
Okay, so let me make a disclaimer & say that this is not to say that you can leave the house with soup stains on your skirt & safety-pins holding your sleeve together. It’s about looking effortless, not being effortless!
Allow yourself to get a little dishevelled. If you don’t know how to make that happen, get dressed, then have sex, then leave the house. Simple, non?!
Parisian women don’t wear a lot of make-up
One thing I heard years ago was that French women aren’t wild about make-up, but they are crazy for treatments, potions & powders. Apparently the average French woman’s medicine cabinet is a veritable apothecary, the likes of which would make a mad scientist beam with pride.
Regardless of their penchant for slathering strange creams on themselves, Parisian women really don’t wear a lot of make-up. I barely saw a lipsticked mouth the whole time I was there. Most of them seemed pretty content with a bit of foundation, rouge, eye-liner & mascara. I always thought of stereotypical sexy French rock & roll style as being a girl with long messy hair & slightly unkempt eye make-up, but I didn’t see any of those girls. Maybe they only exist in my imagination…
Parisian women take their time
This is not to say that they dawdle or plod around, because they certainly don’t. But the French, generally, understand that time is precious, & they make the most of it. Yes, they work hard, but they also make time to relax & look after themselves — unlike most Americans or English, who seem intent on working themselves into an early grave!
They make time to have a bath, go for walks & spend time with their friends. They’re not constantly running around with dangerously high blood pressure. They understand that life is about balance. Life doesn’t have to be perfectly structured & pulled tight in order to be satisfying. They’re okay with letting go of the reins.
Parisian women keep it simple
Parisian women seem to manage to avoid the temptation to load on accessories & gee-gaws. Maybe they all subscribe to Coco Chanel’s old adage of “take one thing off before you leave the house”, or maybe the overdone look just doesn’t appeal as much. Regardless of the reason, it’s much easier to look chic & polished if you have fewer elements fighting for attention.
Parisian women wear heels — a lot
Before you rush out & rack up a hideous credit card bill at ChristianLouboutin.fr (I know you & your quick-draw Visa!), stop! Yes, very high heels are sexy. But only some of them are comfortable, & spending a lot of money on a pair of kicks unfortunately doesn’t make them cozy. (You would think they would pass some kind of law stipulating that if a pair of shoes retails for over $500, you should be able to stand up in them without feelings of intense agony, but hey!)
So the most important thing to realise is that yes, a lot of Parisian women wear heels a lot of the time, but they wear heels they can walk in! & stand in! & actually feel alright in! Sometimes this means a little kitten heel, & sometimes it means something higher, but you really won’t know until you try something on. My point is, Parisian women make the effort with their footwear but they don’t murder themselves in the process.
Be good to your tootsies, they’re the only ones you’ve got! (Unless you have some kind of strange affliction… In which case, sorry. But go nuts on the shoes!)
Extra For Experts:
JAK & JIL BLOG has lots of French model style for your perusal. (It happens to be one of my new favourite blogs, too.)
The Sartorialist shoots in Paris regularly, though unfortunately his “Women in Paris” tag doesn’t seem to be working. Just scroll!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [52] Tags: aesthetic,
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madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!100 Ways To Be A Love Letter To The Universe
[ 20 October 2008, 20:23 ]
Do your lips up sticky, sparkly & sweet. Then blow kisses. Say thank you. Allow other people to inspire you. Share your bliss. Smile — even if you’re shy, even if you have bad teeth, even if it scares you. Hold someone’s hand. Be honest. Volunteer your time. Love yourself. Do your best. Learn how to balance having respect for other people’s decisions & being true to yourself. Tell people how much you like them. Send unexpected gifts. Talk to strangers. Do favours. Let go. Be generous. Eat whatever you want without guilt. Don’t think about other people’s definitions of success, beauty or happiness. Make your own rules. Write your own guidebook. Count your blessings. Never stop trying to improve. Be your own superhero. Aim higher. Contribute. Create spaces for other people to enjoy. Sleep in. Let other people sleep in, too. Be compassionate. Listen. Give yourself time off. Be enthusiastic. Choose happiness. Create. Follow your passion. Connect. Compliment people. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. Surprise yourself. Appreciate the people who support you. Take photos; document everything. Have a plan. Know your patterns. Be in the present. Laugh. Get close. Move through your fear. Challenge yourself. Keep it simple. Turn up the music. Realise your own freedom. Relax. Flirt. Dress up in some small way every day. Even if it’s just a good pair of knickers or a coat of death-defying mascara. Be different. Be genuine. Allow yourself to change & evolve. Dream big. Believe that you can manifest anything. Take responsibility. Treat everyone the same way — from your lover to your mother to your postman. Appreciate your past for having made you the person you are. Talk about how you feel. Dance. Sing. Let go of guilt. Treat your lovers with respect. Admit your flaws. ...& come up with a plan to remedy them. Surprise people. Set yourself a really huge goal. Then achieve it & set another one. Kiss. A lot. Remember that trouble doesn’t last. Be still. Look at the stars. Be as ridiculous as you like. Trust that you are loved. Stay curious. Charm people. Give real hugs. Bat your eyelashes. Forget yourself. Reach out. Flatter people. Get drunk on life. Release your expectations of other people. Allow them to be who they are, & appreciate them regardless. Stretch. Listen to your instincts. Make eye contact. Keep your word. Talk about real things. Discover yourself. Speak up. Let life excite you & lead you astray. Delight in every day. Don’t be afraid. Just love.
“It took us so long to realize that a purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” — Kurt Vonnegut.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [84] Tags: how to,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Lingerie Designer!
[ 20 October 2008, 08:58 ]
Tell us about what you do.
I run my own Lingerie and Accessories company called Loulou Loves You! The site has a lingerie range currently consisting of knickers and boudoir jackets then an accessories range with my own ‘bow emporium’ featuring bows in all sizes as headbands and brooches. Everything is designed and handmade by me using only 100% silks and cottons. I’m just completing my Winter 08/09 range that will be expanding on all the current items and bringing in loads of new ones, I’m super excited!
How long ago did you start on this path?
Loulou Loves You has been open for business for just over a year now. It’s been quite an adventure to get to this point. After school I moved to London to study Fine Art. I completed two years of studying and when I was 21 I very suddenly became horribly ill with a chronic pain condition called Fibromyalgia and was unable to finish my degree and had to move back home. The condition rendered me unable to do almost anything at all but when the worst was over I started to rebuild my life about two years later, my college was happy to let me come back to complete my last two years I felt like I had changed so much whilst being away that my idea of my life was different too. I had this urge to learn something more skill based to do with on of my main interests, fashion. I moved to Brighton (the seaside – best for recovery!) and decided to take dressmaking and pattern cutting classes just once a week, the rest of my time I babysat and rested to get back my health. During this time my love affair with lingerie really began and my friend and I used to talk about having a ‘pant empire’ because we were always buying all sorts of cute knickers and obsessing over them. When my courses were finished I knew that it was time to move back to London and really rebuild my life. I started researching into what I might want to do and it was Lingerie design that just grabbed me. I found a year long C&G course at Kensington and Chelsea college and ta daaaa!
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
Whilst I was on my Lingerie course I became so enthusiastic about it due to firstly it just ‘clicking’ and also being so inspired by my tutor who was a successful designer herself. I knew that when I finished I wanted to aim high and start my own business! Why not go for it when I felt like my life had been in limbo for so long? It was also only in about 2006 that I actually was almost healthy again and I really noticed very suddenly ‘Oh my god, I feel ok!’ and it was that which made me the most ready to get going.
I thought that If I was going to set up my own business then I wanted to be able to focus on it 100%. I was very lucky to have savings behind me that meant I could just work on the company. As a small business owner in the early stages it’s still very new and I’m not at the point where I can lay back and let the money roll in just yet! I have a two days a week other job that keeps me on my toes and helps me out when pennies are low!
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
Really like I said above it was just me deciding to take the plunge. Having been sick I really felt like I was behind on my life and although of course I’m far from it I was feeling ‘old’ and really just wanted to dive in. I could have carried on with some more courses etc but I just felt like I was ready, also it coincidentally tied in with the fact that the job I was doing part time (working as a nanny) came to an end at the exact point that I wanted to go it alone so it felt like a sign and I grabbed it!
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
Yes and no, I don’t think you need to have a qualification from the best lingerie school or fashion course but you do need to have the skills. I of course came into this at a different angle, using my Pattern cutting / Dressmaking / Art and Design and then lingerie skills but I never took a Fashion design degree. Do I think I might be better if I had? Often yes but can I be successful without? Of course! I just spend time when I can teaching myself skills and practising what I know. If I’m having trouble then I ask friends or look to books for advice. At the moment I do everything myself from designing to making the patterns to hand making each item and I definitely like the idea of one day being able to put a team together!
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
Setting your own schedule! I try and keep to an average work day, I am always in my studio by 9.30am and then work till probably 7pm but very often till midnight depending on how busy I am. It’s nice to be able to switch time around too, like spend an afternoon with a friend and then work extra on the weekends or nights, a luxury that you don’t get to do with an office job for instance. It’s also really awesome to know that it’s all mine and so when everything is going well I know that it’s because of the hard work I have put it and I deserve it!
What’s the worst thing?
Setting your own schedule! Yep the pros and cons come together. It took me a good six months to actually get into a schedule, it’s very easy to be all ‘Ooh I work for myself so I can lay in till 2pm’. Also my studio is in my house which means I have about a million ways to procrastinate if I want to. The other thing which takes getting used to is that I spend most of my time on my own so I have to enjoy my own company, I combat this by having people come to my house for lunch etc. so I don’t feel like such a hermit… in my knicker prison as I like to say!
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
I would say about 85 on average…This week it’s been about 50 because I’ve been having a fight with a camisole pattern!... But when I have it worked out then I will probably feel about 120! I do have a good sense of perspective though because if I am not feeling so great about everything I just look back at 6 years ago and know that I’m in an amazing place right now.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
Yes and no, I’m not naturally, naturally I am a gigantic daydreamer who could easily spend an entire day doodling on a bit of paper but right now I would say yes because I am really focused on completing all my jobs. I think if you are running a business yourself then you have to try and be a workaholic as it’s essentially only you that’s going to get things done. If I stop then everything stops. I think it’s just important to try and set goals for yourself and work through them.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Do it! But do it with a good business plan and consideration first! When I started out, being a creative person my head was filled with all these fanciful dreams, you know a studio filled with bunnies and kittens and photo booths and an ice cream parlour and a giant cloud above my head filled with ideas while they magically were sewn around me… but luckily my sister is a bit of a business genius and she brought me down to earth by insisting on helping me do a business plan. One point became 80, each with an expansion of about ten. You need a plan because there are so many things that can go wrong and if you think of them all first then you are ahead of the game!
...How about number two?
Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams, even if it seems impossible, if you have an idea then why not look at how it can work? You can’t lose anything by research. Maybe think of a friend who you could start out with, share the ideas and the responsibility, look into ways to get grants and loans. There are always ways to work towards your ambitions.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
Probably how hard it is to do everything myself. I never wanted to start up with a bunch of people but I really understand now why people need assistants and PR people etc., because it’s amazing how time consuming everything is. Essentially I want to be designing and creating and so I get frustrated when I have to spend all day doing paper work or something. I’ve just taken on an amazing friend to be my PR girl and I’m already feeling how much better it is. I can’t wait to be able to afford to have a lovely assistant! I remember your friend Ana Steele saying she wished she had a twin to help her out and I totally agree, it would be perfect, a Loulou clone to do everything that’s boring!
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
Well it’s not quite as glamorous as it sounds. When I say I have a lingerie business I think most people (especially guys) think I’m laying around bathing in silk all day haha!
What is the best thing that’s happened to you as a consequence of the work you do?
I don’t think I’ve got to the stage yet where I can say oooh I’m invited to all these amazing events/parties etc. (Anyone want my address?!) For me the continuous best thing is getting messages from people about my designs and work, when someone emails me to ask advice or say they loved their item when it arrived. Getting good feedback from people and magazines that I admire makes me so excited. I’m being featured in the fashion supplement of the December issue of VOGUE which is so ‘wow’ that I EEK every time I think of it because I never imagined that VOGUE would be contacting moi!
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
I usually work best if I have something to look forward to, so often making fun evening plans makes me determined to work more in the day. Quick deadlines usually help me too, a bit of pressure occasionally! and then of course my ideas! If I have things in my head that I want to create then I’m always happy to keep going, and also having dreams of success makes me want to work harder to achieve those goals. Sometimes I sit and stress out about not having enough money etc. but I also know that I won’t ever quit until I feel like I’ve put everything into what I love doing and right now I feel like I’m very much at the start.
Do you think you’ll continue doing this for the rest of your life?
Yes and no. I believe that everything that happens in my life is always synchronised with what happens before. If I look at the steps that have brought me here then I have no doubt things will continue and take me to different work areas too. I think I will be in this industry hopefully for a long time, but I’m also not going to put away my future dreams to be a zookeeper either ;)
What are your next big steps?
Right now my main focus is completing my Winter collection and getting it into my shop and then spreading the word to everyone. I am also hoping to redesign my website. I also am really keen to move to NYC but right now I’m not in the place to be able to pick up and move the whole business so it’s something that I keep in mind as a big in the near future dream and so I’m making small steps to make that possible!
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
In the fashion world I really love Betsey Johnson, it’s easy to see why of course, but I love that she always sticks with creating what she loves and you can see it’s very much an extension of her personality rather than being built to please other people or the industry and I love that you can rent out her home in Mexico. She’s a great example of a success who has taken what she is good at and spread it.
Mainly though the people I look up to are people I know who are making steps to fulfil their goals and ideas and working so hard to get there. Whenever I feel a bit bummed out I usually look to my best friends work and websites and see what they are up to which makes me suddenly inspired again. I feel so lucky to be around such amazing talents and also to be in London where everyone is just having a go at creating something.
BONUS!
Design a magnificent outfit with Polyvore using one of Loulou’s bows & you can win it — & a pair of knickers to match!
You have one week to style something fabulous! Comment below with a link to your creation, & the winner will be announced next Monday, the 27th of October 2008!
You can find all her items here — enjoy & go nuts!
See also: http://www.everydayhealth.com/fibromyalgia/fibromyalgia-101.aspx
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [224] Tags: how to,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Beat Writer's Block
[ 14 October 2008, 17:12 ]
The most common piece of advice for anyone suffering writer’s block is “just write”. Of course, this is an excellent suggestion, because what you need is to get your flair back. So “just write” is all very well & good, but sometimes we need more prompting, more pushing, something bolder. How can you “just write” when you feel bored, frustrated & uninspired? Here are my suggestions for getting the better of the thing all writers dread.
Listen to yourself
Yes, this is the first thing. Listen to what your brain & body are telling you! Maybe getting writer’s block is your body’s way of saying, “Hey, chill out!”. Maybe you just want a break, & cutting off the creative flow is the only way your body knows how to get that message to you. If that’s the case, then for god’s sake, be good to yourself! Stop drumming your pencil against the table, get up out of your chair, & do something else. Force yourself to relax & do something entirely unrelated. Watch a cheesy movie, make yourself an enormous feast, go to the gym or visit a friend.
Downtime is really important for everyone, but especially for creative people. If you don’t take a break, you’ll get really burned-out & find it even harder to recover! Don’t do that to yourself, it’s an ugly thing! Go & get a massage, dance around your living room, or just take a really good nap. Allow your brain time off. Okay, good.
Go for a walk
But what if you’re not really at the point of no return, & just feeling stuck? One of my immediate instincts in that situation is to leave my house. To me, it often feels like cabin fever is one of the major culprits — so I go somewhere else. Walking around the city, people-watching & window-shopping with good music in my ear is often all I need to clear my head & get back on form. I find that I’m much more inspired by an urban atmosphere than anything else, but you might get similar results from walking in the woods, along the beach or just up & down your driveway.
If just going for a walk seems a bit aimless to you, make it into a game. How many pink shoes will you see? How many David Hasselhoff lookalikes? Look at the outfits of oncoming pedestrians & think about what it is that makes their outfit work. Or just pay attention to the moment, the people around you, the slope of the sidewalk, your breath.
Write in another format
What do you normally write? Short stories? Articles? Advertising jingles? Raps? Forget about all that. Do something else. You just need to get back into your flow, & sometimes the best way to do that is to do something completely different. Write a haiku or a limerick. If you’re a journalist, write character sketches. If you’re a novelist, try writing a fabulous classified ad. Just do whatever you can to break yourself out of that loop you’re in.
Pick a strange subject to write about
It doesn’t have to be something you know a lot about — in fact, it can be helpful if it’s a topic about which you’re mostly in the dark. Just use your imagination! Write about taxidermy, the best ways to seduce a married man, hats in the 1920s, someone called Esmeralda who sleeps on an oriental rug & collects books on medical abnormalities. Whatever you like. The only rules are that you challenge yourself & you pick a subject that is fun to you.
Write from someone else’s perspective
You can still use your own voice, though you don’t have to. But switch up your viewpoint. If you’re a guy, write as a woman. Write as someone who has different views on politics or religion as you. Scribble down a few words as if you were your best friend, or Karl Lagerfeld, or Kathleen Hanna. Don’t judge what you’re putting down on paper, just allow it to come out. Let the character develop & evolve before you. See what happens.
Write as if you’re in your favourite city
If you don’t have a favourite city, invent one, or pick one at random! Read up on it briefly on Wikipedia, then start describing it. How do the streets smell? What do the people look like? How does it sound? Is it warm or cold? If you were walking down the road, what would you be eating? Where would you be going? Remember that you don’t have to be realistic — you could be walking down the street eating an ice-cream the size of your head while wearing a hat made from bear-skin, a pair of moonboots & holding the hand of your shiny robot boyfriend!
Use something else to write with
If you always write on your computer, grab a pen or pencil. Try using a typewriter, a paintbrush, a crayon, tomato sauce. The whole idea is to break you out of your funk & start having fun, so if you want to put a whiteboard pen between your teeth & write on the window, you definitely should.
Write a letter
Writing into the emptiness can feel a little weird sometimes, so try addressing it to someone. You could write about what you’ve been doing, apologise for something or make it up entirely. Pretend to be a 70 year old woman who sleds across the Antarctic every year, & write an account of your most recent adventures to your nervous daughter who lives in Australia. Alternatively, don’t even start off “Dear ____” — just have a person in mind as you’re writing.
Call someone & explain your writer’s block to them in extravagant, painful detail
Just what it says. Go nuts on it. If you can’t find anyone who wants to listen — which could happen, because who really wants to listen to that? — leave yourself a rabid voicemail. Play it back to yourself & laugh, breathe, remember that if writer’s block is your biggest problem right now, you’re doing okay.
Document the moment by taking photos of yourself as a tortured-looking artiste
Oh come on — you might as well have fun with it. Rim your eyes in black, muss up your hair, pout & set the auto-timer. Add an unlit cigarette & beret to the scene to up the über-pretentious ante!
Throw a tantrum
Scream. Writhe. Wriggle violently. Thrash around. Bite things. Stub your toe by accident. Really bring yourself into the present moment by being completely ridiculous. Then stand up, brush yourself off, & scribble an ode to writer’s block.
Put on bold streaks of warpaint & shock the locals
Go on… Live a little.
Fill your brain with inspiration
Do something that sparks you creatively. Watch a horror movie, do ballet, go & rummage in an antique store, whatever. Obviously, this will be different for everyone, but I often find that buying a huge stack of glossy, foreign fashion magazines works wonders for me. I lug them home, sit on my couch cross-legged, & start flicking through. Pretty quickly, usually, mostly just looking at the pictures. Then (& I know some people can’t stomach this idea) I bend the spine & tear out the pages which speak to me. If you want to put them all up somewhere, grab a piece of string, tie either end to your wall, & peg up the pictures you like the most. It’s the world’s cheapest (& fastest) way of displaying images, & I love the way it looks. Totally unfussy, easy to change & insanely inexpensive.
Listen to your favourite lyrics or read a passage from your favourite book
If you’re having trouble inspiring yourself, go back to the things that you know work for you. Put on a piece of your favourite music or read a couple of pages from one of your favourite books. Don’t feel the need to then jump up & spring into action, just appreciate it & let it soak into your skin. Think about it, analyse it, digest & enjoy it. Then do whatever you feel like.
Change your environment
Sometimes it helps just to try writing in another place. You might want to shift to another couch or chair, try lying on your bed, or stand up at the kitchen bench with a pen in hand. If that doesn’t work, take it a step further & leave the house. Go & write in a park, a pizza shop, standing up in the produce section of your supermarket or on the steps of a church. If the weather is awful but you still feel like have cabin fever, clean up your immediate area. I know I always write much better when I’m not being stared in the face by a pile of junk! Of course, cleaning can easily turn into a procrastinatory exercise, but if you keep yourself on track, & clean with the intention of good writing, I’m sure you’ll be just fine!
Reflexology
If none of the above methods work, reflexology is my fail-safe last-ditch option — usually because the other tactics are much more simple & don’t cost any money! But when your head is really dusty & dry, when your uninspired frustration reaches critical levels, reflexology is It. It has never failed me.
When I lived in Melbourne & felt burned out or unable to write, I would go to this massage shop, lie down, & let a small Chinese man perform weird tricks on my feet. (Sometimes he sang to me at the same time.) It was often quite painful, but always worked miracles. I would feel all my crazy head fog dissipate, & I would pretty much float back up to my apartment, where all of a sudden… I could write! I could whip up fabulous articles! My lust for life came back & I felt like me again.
Reflexology is completely genius. You should try it.
What are your best tips for beating writer’s block to a bloody pulp? How do you manage to triumph over the page? Let us know!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [48] Tags: how to,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Digital Marketing Manager!
[ 13 October 2008, 16:35 ]
Alice Judge-Talbot, as well as being super-sassy & cute with a drink in her hand, works for VICE magazine as their Digital Marketing Manager. She emailed me saying…
“I’d hope my story could be quite inspiring as I kind of screwed up at school, dropped out of Uni (getting in a lot of crap with my parents along the way…) but I came out smiling at the end of it!”
I love any girl who manages to triumph over the odds, & as her job sounded really interesting too, of course I had to interview her!
Tell us about what you do.
I work as VICE UK’s Digital Marketing Manager. My role basically boils down to getting as much traffic as possible to our two sites – Viceland and VBS TV. This is done in a number of ways – working with online and offline partners, managing Social Networking sites (such as Facebook and Myspace) and dealing with online PR. At the moment I’m developing a Facebook Application which is going to be very cool! It’s also my job to liaise with other Marketeers at VICE all over the world to make sure we’re all working in a similar way – at the moment I’m speaking to VICE USA quite frequently.
How long ago did you start on this path?
I guess you could say I’ve been on this path since I was ten! That was when my dad first bought a computer with good old 56k internet. Soon after I discovered the wonders of HTML, and taught myself using source codes pulled of the web and HTML books from the library. The first page I ever built was hosted on Geocities, then I migrated to Gurlpages and finally to a subdomain on a friend’s site – girlracer.org. After a couple of years of free pages I convinced my parents to let me spend my pocket money on a domain and I’ve never looked back – I’ve had my own websites ever since (currently at thealice.co.uk though this is only being used for testing). I would like to point out that I wasn’t a total loser when growing up – I lived in the rural British countryside and there was not a lot to do.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I first got paid to build a website when I was fifteen, and I continued to work for friends whilst I was in education. I finally made it my primary source of income about a year and a half ago, when I became Marketing and Sales Manager of a small Telecommunications company in Nottingham. Being a web-designer never crossed my mind – I’m not particularly gifted at design and there are plenty of people out there who can do it better than me. I’m lucky that I grew up as the internet was starting to boom as there are so many more jobs out there these days involving the internet – not just web design.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
It’s definitely been a series of small steps. Mostly lots and lots of learning as I’m working and convincing my employers to let me have a go at bits and pieces as I’ve been going along. Luckily you don’t have to pay for a lot of Internet Marketing unless it works, so it’s never been a particular problem for my employers to let me have a go.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
Definitely not. I spent a year studying for a degree at University but dropped out because I wasn’t enjoying it. I think I’m in a much better position career-wise now than all my friends who studied hard at their particular professions for three or four years; I’m not in any debt and I’ve managed to climb quite high in my field.
The digital industry is so new and fast-moving – there are new ways to exploit it all the time. And one of the beauties of it is that you can learn it all online and on-the-job.
What do you think is the best thing about what you do?
Seriously, the fact I get to sit on the internet all day long makes me very happy. I also love working with other creative people and learning new things every day. I also love the portability of this job; I can do it anywhere I take my MacBook.
What’s the worst thing?
Umm, well there is a lot of socialising and networking with this job, and this often involves cocktails. Staring at a computer screen for 9 hours the morning after is not my idea of a good time.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
It definitely ranges from 85-100, depending on the day I’m having. Yes, really.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
I’m not one of those people who works 9-5, goes home and completely forgets about work until the next morning. I love immersing myself in my work and will quite happily slog away at it until it’s done, even if that means I’m working at home or taking calls at the pub. If that means I’m a bit of a workaholic then that’s fine – I would rather do that than be bored in a job I wasn’t interested in. I think it is fairly normal in the industry – working with America means there’s only a slot of about four hours when we’re both at work so I will often email them during the evening.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Hmm…. I’d say to learn as much as you can on your own time. Build your own site, market it, play with it. Even if you don’t have a lot of content to promote pick something you’re interested in and build the site around that. There is a niche for everything these days – cookery, cats, photography.
...How about number two?
Look at others around you who are successful. What are they doing right? Emulate them, learn from them.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
That money isn’t everything. I’m still trying to learn this!
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
That it’s full of geeks – it’s not!
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
Meeting so many new people all the time is really great… the highlight was a meeting at Urban Outfitters where I was waiting in a room of male models there for a model casting. Amazing!
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
I really look up to the women who run websites on their own – Dooce, Style Bubble and Gala Darling to name a few!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [25] Tags: inspiration,
i want to be Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 9th October 2008
[ 9 October 2008, 20:04 ]
Buy yourself a bunch of flowers which complement your hair.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [67] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Floria Sigismondi
[ 2 October 2008, 10:05 ]
Floria Sigismondi is one of the first artists I ever really discovered via the internet, & she holds a special place in my heart to this day. Born in Italy to two opera singers & named after the main character from Tosca, Floria’s creepy, scuttling aesthetic instantly caught my attention. I remember finding her website — probably in 1997 or 1998 — & saving pretty much every picture on it to my computer.
This was one of my favourites.
Floria started off as a painter & illustrator, saying that she was transfixed by paintbrushes from an early age. She studied at the Ontario College of Art, but after taking a photography course, became obsessed with the medium & would skip classes to spend time with her camera.
After working as a fashion photographer, she started to make music videos, & that’s what she is most well-known for these days. (She is living proof that we don’t always end up doing what we had planned out for ourselves!)
She’s worked with a huge number of incredible artists, like David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, Tricky, Christina Aguilera, Sigur Rós, Amon Tobin, Björk & The Cure, among others. Her gritty, jittery style is incredibly distinctive & beautiful.
An interview with Floria about her creative process.
Here are some of my favourite music videos by Floria.
(I think Tourniquet by Marilyn Manson is one of the best videos she’s ever done, but I can’t find an embeddable version…)
Christina Aguilera – Fighter
David Bowie – Little Wonder
Sigur Ros – Untitled #1
Fiona Apple – O’ Sailor
Fluffy – Black Eye
Marilyn Manson – The Beautiful People
Tricky – Makes Me Wanna Die
She also made this excellent short film called Postmortem Bliss.
Do you have a favourite music video director? One of my other favourites is Chris Cunningham, who directed Aphex Twin’s Come To Daddy (which terrified me the first time I saw it) & Windowlicker videos, as well as Bjork’s All Is Full Of Love & Madonna’s Frozen. I think he’s amazing!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [47] Tags: aesthetic,
inspiration,
video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!A Reminder
[ 30 September 2008, 10:46 ]
Stop comparing yourself to other girls, no matter how pretty, clever, cool or cashed-up they are.
No one will ever have your unique twist of talents, perspectives or beauty.
You do enough. You have enough. You are enough.
Stop comparing yourself to other girls, no matter how talented, well-dressed, popular or capable they are.
You improve the world more than you can possibly comprehend, just by being true to who you are every day.
Go outside & be fabulous. Watching who you are, & seeing what you’re becoming, makes us so proud to know you. The world delights in your presence. We all love you very much.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [167] Tags: inspiration,
life,
madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Poet!
[ 29 September 2008, 09:12 ]
Is it really possible to eke out a living in the literary world? As a poet, no less?! Just ask Claire! The fabulous redheaded Claire Askew is a working poet, arts editor & part-time tutor living in Edinburgh, Scotland. She’s a very busy & ambitious girl, with lots of good advice as to how to make it as a writer!
Tell us about what you do.
First and foremost, I see myself as a writer, specifically a poet; but I juggle a variety of jobs and projects which also help keep me financially afloat. When I’m not writing, editing and redrafting poems, I work as a private tutor for kids aged 11 – 18, teaching English and Creative Writing. About a year ago I set up my own literary magazine, Read This, and I now also have a blog called One Night Stanzas which is designed to involve and encourage young writers. I’m currently working on my first collection, and I’m also about to embark on a postgraduate MSc in creative writing at the University of Edinburgh, Scotland.
How long ago did you start on this path?
I’ve been writing since before I can remember – which is a cliché, but I genuinely can’t remember the first time I picked up a pen. I wrote my first poem aged about seven, and won a prize for it at the local fair. I reckon that’s when, subconsciously, I abandoned my childhood ambition to be a farmyard vet, and set out on a more literary path!
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I’ve been treating my writing as more than a hobby for about the past four years, when it began to be accepted by magazines, and I’ve been getting paid work (mostly publication in larger journals and anthologies who can afford to give out fees) for about the last two years. As I say, I’ve been doing it all my life, but I think it was only quite recently that I really sat down and thought “this could be your career. You might not be a millionaire, but you could probably do it.”
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
I was in my third year of University, and I’d joined a writer’s group and started going to workshops and whatnot, and people started to “notice” my work and tell me it was pretty good. Crucially I think, I met the poet Brian McCabe, who really liked my stuff and was (and still is) incredibly encouraging. I realised that I was rapidly coming to the end of my four years in further education, and I really needed to start deciding what I was going to do with my life afterwards. Eventually I got to the point where I thought “why not just do what I love?”. I set up Read This at around the same time, and soon after, I won three quite big poetry prizes. I think that really cemented my decision… it was a good omen.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
It’s an interesting question, and the issue of should-you-get-a-creative-writing-qualification is hotly debated. Many writers actually see qualifications as counter-productive: they reckon creative writing courses teach you bad habits, and that they contribute towards poetry’s transformation into an increasingly “academic” artform. Other people reckon you need to be “vetted” by a qualification – that they sort the men from the boys, so to speak. I’ve chosen to do a postgrad qualification mainly out of a need to step things up a gear – I want to take my writing to the next level and I hope it will help me to do that. But I don’t think it matters either way whether you’re qualified or not. To be successful in poetry, you just need to be talented, thick-skinned, and willing to work really hard.
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
I can control my time, and my environment, which is important. I’m one of those people who can’t just write anywhere. If you work in an office and you get halfway through the day and feel trapped and burned out, you can’t just grab your laptop and go to the park. You can’t take a break for an hour and read a book or sleep or whatever. The best thing about being in control of my own time is being able to decide what I do with it, on the spur of the moment if need be. Right now I’m very lucky – many writers have to juggle other jobs and outside commitments, and it can really dry up your creativity. But I think the best thing about doing what I do is using my experience to help brand new young writers to get a foothold in the poetry industry – that’s what Read This does, and although One Night Stanzas is still very new, I’m hoping that eventually it will also be able to help people in the same way. It’s great when people email you and say “thanks for your advice, I just got published for the first time!”
What’s the worst thing?
Distractions. I live with my boyfriend, who’s around from 4pm onwards every afternoon and, as you can imagine, he’s pretty distracting. I’m also a bit of a tidy-freak and so if there’s housework that needs doing, I kind of have to do it before I can sit down and write. And I absolutely love my tutoring job and all the gorgeous young people I teach, but sometimes you get home from four back-to-back ‘Hamlet’ study sessions and feel like you never want to see a word on a page ever again!
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
About 87. Sometimes higher, sometimes lower, but that’s my happiness average.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
I’m not necessarily a workaholic – I can spend four hours reading books and not feel bad about it – but I like to have heaps of things on the go, and I’m very driven. I love getting Read This off the press “on schedule” every month, and I make myself write at least one post to my blog per day – usually two. I write for anything from 8 to 15 hours per week, and I’m happy if I’ve written four poems by the weekend (but happier if I’ve written seven). I’m also keen to get involved with any poetic activities that other people are organising – last week I spent an afternoon being “a poetry terrorist” in a local park (running up to people with print-outs of famous poems and, in most cases, getting them to read them). I think if you want to be a poet, you don’t need to be a workaholic as such, but you do need to be willing to work.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Read. Read, read, read, read and then read some more. Reading other people’s poetry is the only way to make your own poetry better, and that’s something you should always be trying to do. Read the magazines and journals you want to send your writing to. The more poetry you read, the better you’ll know the industry, and the better equipped you’ll be to succeed. Kenneth Patchen once said, “people who say they love poetry but don’t buy any are cheap sons-of-bitches,” and I’d add to that: “people who say they write poetry but don’t read any are deluded sons-of-bitches.” You have to read widely to write well. You have to read to succeed!
...How about number two?
There are million pieces of advice I want to dole out… just look at my blog! But the second most important thing is: persevere. You might never make any money out of poetry, you friends and family might never understand why you do it, and there will be times when you’ll get rejected and think “am I actually just rubbish?” You have to be prepared for that, and you have to keep on going; keep writing and submitting and publishing even through the knock-backs. No matter what anyone says to you, if you love doing it, keep doing it.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
There are a whole lot of people who move in literary circles – and particularly poetic ones – who want to see you fail. Don’t ask me why, but there’s a massive amount of negativity around when it comes to poetry, and particularly when it comes to young writers. Just look at some poetry blogs – everyone has a view, and often its not a nice one. You get pessimists telling you poetry is dead and writing is pointless. You get countless people who’ll tell you that “your style” of poetry is rubbish, or that you’ll never succeed because you’re too young. You’ll get people attacking you in online forums and ripping your work to bits and sending you poisonous emails, even if you think you’ve done nothing to provoke them. Perhaps worst of all, you get a lot of websites that are set up to suck inexperienced writers into money-making scams: beware of anyone who says they can publish your work for a ‘reading fee’! I don’t want to freak people out, but I never knew about this stuff, so it really shocked me. It still shocks me. It’s the main reason I started One Night Stanzas – I wanted to provide a safe place for writers to get advice and feedback on their work. And just to prove my point, the blog is only about two weeks old and already some snide comments have appeared… so be prepared!
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
The whole ‘poetry is a dead artform’ thing. I disagree! Poetry is on the downlow right now because there isn’t enough young blood around to stir things up, but I don’t think it will ever die. It might be on a dialysis machine at the moment, but I’m convinced that’s only a passing thing. So, young ‘uns, get writing and get out there and revive your artform!
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
I’m motivated to keep writing by the random emails I get from people I’ve never even heard of, saying things like “your poem touched me.” One girl a while back wrote her English Literature term essay on my poetry, and another wrote one of my poems out in gorgeous calligraphy and put it on public display. I love reading my work at events, too, because I get some lovely responses from total strangers. I’m also encouraged by all the young people whose names I see in publications here and there, and I think “I gave that person some advice once”, or “Read This was their first publishing gig.” I like the idea that there is a creative community out there, and I’m part of it, and – even with the aforementioned negativity floating around – that’s a great feeling. And I think I’ll always write, whether I continue to be successful or not. I’m one of those people who does it because they’d go mad if they didn’t, basically!
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
He’s dead now, but I still love Allen Ginsberg to bits. He did something new and radical with poetry, and flew in the face of all the people who said he couldn’t succeed because he was gay, because he was Jewish, because he was unapologetically political, because he was a college dropout, because he wasn’t a conventional writer, etc. He’s a household name in spite of it all and his poems are funny and shocking and gorgeous. I’m also a big fan of Edwin Morgan, and I’d love to meet him – he seems like such a kind soul, a very genuine man. Roddy Lumsden is a great, plain-speaking poet and he does a lot of teaching and working with younger writers. He also came to my rescue once when my poetry was under attack on a very poisonous forum-thread, even though he didn’t know me at all, and I love him for it to this day. And I’ve met so many wonderful, hard-working editors who rarely get any credit for what they do – so appreciate your editors, people! They’re the people who keep the poetry industry ticking over!
Extra For Experts:
Claire also wrote this excellent piece, Writing In The Face Of Adversity, which is worth reading!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [26] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
i want to be,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 27th September 2008
[ 27 September 2008, 07:54 ]
Buy teeny figurines & decorate your plate with them. Plant an army man on top of your potato, put a monster in your porridge & bury the smallest matryoshka nesting doll inside a pile of fries.
Write pornographic haiku on napkins at restaurants.
Come up with some new birthday traditions — like a colourful photoshoot, receiving your age in kisses, or throwing cake from a great height!
Learn to use chopsticks properly.
Buy sparkly, colourful bracelets from Indian shops & stack them high up your wrists.
Learn to be genuinely happy for other people’s success.
Call your friends just to tell them how fabulous they are.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [44] Tags: inspiration,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Graphic Designer!
[ 22 September 2008, 08:46 ]
Who is Nubby Twiglet? ...What, are you kidding?! Have you been hiding under a rock for the last 2 years? GEEZ!
As well as being a fabulous Virgo, Nubby has one of the strongest senses of personal style of anyone I know. She works full-time as an artist & graphic designer, & also runs a super-popular blog. Her work ethic is incredible & her dedication to what she does is nothing short of inspiring. I think she is an absolutely brilliant person, & as I’ve just spent a little over week in her constant company, it seemed like the perfect time to share this interview with you!
Tell us about what you do.
I work full time as a graphic designer and do PR and marketing tasks as well at Nemo Design in Portland, Oregon. Besides that, I do freelance design (mostly logos and branding) and mixed media collage for art shows around the world. Somewhere in between, I run a blog.
How long ago did you start on this path?
When I was in high school, I would dig up old advertising books in the library and cut out images from dusty design annuals, but I didn’t realize that graphic design was a viable profession. Instead, being the good, practical Virgo that I am, I went to school for business first. It was incredibly hard, but it taught me how to market myself and made me more well rounded.
I still knew that art was my true passion, but I wanted to make money doing it so graphic design made sense. I met my boyfriend in 2004 and he’d been a graphic designer for 10 years and told me that if I was really serious about it, I should go to school. I started a two year program in 2006 (and just finished!)
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I landed my first big freelance gig for Virgin Records during my second semester of school. In a matter of weeks, I’d made the equivalent of seven months of working at my retail job! After that, the steady work kept rolling in and I never looked back.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
It depends. There are a handful of designers that I know of that are self-taught and do amazing work. On the other hand, school really does put you through the paces and by being pushed to do projects you don’t necessarily like, it prepares you for the real world of clients and deadlines. In the end, it all comes down to how good your portfolio is!
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
Doing freelance design can be hugely rewarding. People choose you because they like your style. You can also decide on the clients that you want to work with and set your own rates!
What’s the worst thing?
It’s easy to lose track of hours and to get caught up in a project. There are no set work hours, no set lunch time or breaks. It’s up to you to say no if you think something isn’t going to work which can be incredibly hard.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
I’s say 90. The people I work with at my day job are awesome. I’m the only girl designer on staff and the guys I work with are hilarious. They’re always skateboarding past my desk! The work I do is fun, too. I do a fair amount of logo development and write for the company blogs. It’s a nice mix of design and marketing tasks.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
Hell yes! I was raised to work hard and I’m proud of making my own money. There are so many talented designers and if I want to eventually be at their level, I know that it’s going to take years of hard work. It is pretty normal as a designer to be a workaholic because there’s always something new to obsess over and new ideas are always transpiring.
What would your suggestions be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Don’t worry about trying to get into the fanciest school. Subscribe to tons of design blogs and start an inspiration folder on your computer. Start a collection of well-designed brochures, business cards and magazines that you come across. Find a mentor that can encourage you to keep pushing forward and help you find an internship. Don’t be afraid of starting a blog to publish your work and get feedback. Join online portfolio sites (some of my biggest jobs have been through Flickr) and start networking. Get a membership to AIGA and attend local networking events. Never give up; the more challenging a job is, the more you’ll realize you learned from it when you look back.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
That it’s okay to not know everything and it’s also okay to ask questions; most designers are incredibly forgiving and are willing to help you because they were probably in your shoes once.
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
From the outside, people might expect designers at an ad agency to be really slick and whip a project out really fast. In reality, it can take weeks or months of working with a client to get a job done.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
The endless amount knowledge that it’s possible to acquire can be overwhelming but I’m naturally a competitive person and I am always striving to get better at what I do. I was given a huge opportunity; within a week of graduating, I was offered a full-time position at one of the coolest, most progressive companies around and I never want to lose sight of that. The design world can be really intense and there’s always going to be someone that’s better than you. The point is to never give up and to move forward in some way every single day.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
I love seeing seeing the work of other girl graphic designers like Antigirl, design that kills, Abby Clawson Low and Oh Joy! Studio. I also like the styles of NEUARMY and Scott Hansen and too many more people to list. People with strong aesthetics win me over every time!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [38] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
i want to be,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Cope With A Quarter-Life Crisis (Part Two)
[ 20 September 2008, 11:36 ]
The other day I started talking about the quarter-life crisis phenomenon, & how I believed it could be boiled down to two essential elements. To me, it’s quite clear that there are major differences between the people who experience quarter- or mid-life crises & those who don’t.
Believe me, I did my research! For the last couple of weeks I have been asking my friends whether they’d ever had a mid- or quarter-life crisis, or if anyone they knew had. I also asked them where they thought the root of the crisis came from. Their answers were very illuminating, & really helped me put this article together.
The group of people who seem to go through life without suffering the crushing blow of a quarter- or mid-life crisis seem to have two things going for them. The first thing is meaningful work. They’re in a career where they feel fulfilled creatively, they’re happy with their contribution & they are adequately challenged (or can challenge themselves more whenever they want to).
The second thing they seem to have sorted out are satisfying relationships.
Now, before you start freaking out because you’ve never managed to commit to a lover for more than 2 weeks at a time, let me tell you that I’m not really talking about intimate sexual relationships. Those come & go, & while they can be delightful & a lot of fun, being in a long-term stable monogamous relationship is not compulsory to have a happy life. What I’m really referring to, when I talk about satisfying relationships, are the relationships you have with the people around you, but it also covers the kinds of people you attract into your life, & how they impact & affect you.
Like it or not, everyone that we are involved with — from your manager to your girlfriend to your best friend — influences & affects you in some way. Even if you think you are a one-man island, completely impervious to the whims of anyone else, you are mistaken! We are all impacted upon by the people around us. For example, have you ever worn a certain pair of shoes because a guy you like told you they looked good on you? Or avoided talking about politics because you disagree with the person next to you & you don’t want to make a scene? Or you spent way more than you could afford at a bar because you wanted to be able to “keep up” with the people you were with? Yeah, I thought so! You’re no island!
It’s okay, though. That makes you human — bonus! — & normal. This is nothing ground-breaking, of course, but being aware of this fact can help bring your attention to the sort of people you surround yourself with, & the ways that you alter yourself around them.
Interpersonal relationships can be a lot more complicated than finding meaningful work, though, because it’s not just about you, it’s about the people around you. This means we’re not always in complete control, because for everything we do, the way that someone else responds is entirely up to them.
If you have a fantastic career but your lover or friends or family don’t support it or encourage you, that can put you in a very difficult position. It’s almost impossible to advance yourself or your work if someone who is important to you is jealous, feels left out, doesn’t understand or is otherwise conflicted about who you are & what you do.
Another one of the reasons why having strong personal relationships can help you avoid a quarter-life crisis is because it’s important to feel like we have people who can support us regardless of what we’re going through. Even if our friends haven’t necessarily experienced the things we have, they still have insights & opinions which are valuable & useful. As great as it is to be self-sufficient, having someone else to bounce ideas off is immensely useful, especially when you’re not totally sure what to do in a given situation.
Of course, if you can’t make friends or your friendships are difficult at best, you might find that the people you’ve chosen to involve in your life aren’t always around when you need them. Or they’re around, but not interested in helping you. Or you realise that you don’t feel any better after you’ve spoken to them.
So, how can you make your interpersonal relationships more satisfying?
(A lot of these tips could just be filed under “How To Be A People Person”, but really this is about how to strengthen & maintain your relationships.)
Assess your friends
A lot of us have certain friends because they are convenient or it’s just such an old friendship that we don’t really think about it much. Sometimes it is worth considering whether being friends with this or that person is in your best interests. What about the old school friend who, despite best intentions, is kind of depressing to be around? Or that relative of yours who always pinches your sides & tells you to join them for a run in the morning?
The basis of a friendship shouldn’t be as simple as just not-wanting-to-kill-one-another — it should be mutually beneficial & fun. My usual barometer is to ask myself whether I feel good or bad after I’ve seen someone. If I feel kind of sad or stressed or anything else negative, I ask myself whether that’s how I usually feel after I’ve seen them, or if it was a one-off kind of occasion. I usually move away from friendships with people who continually make me feel exhausted or unhappy or something similar. If, on the other hand, seeing my friends makes me feel happy & elated & excited, I know I’m onto a good thing which is worth continuing with.
Honestly, life is too short to spend time with people who don’t really push your buttons. If you don’t really like your friends that much, why waste all that energy on people who aren’t worth it? You might as well spend your time alone — at least you’ll learn to get comfortable with your own company!
Avoid drama
Oh yes, drama. Drama, gossip & turmoil — the opiate of the oppressed (thanks, Erica). It’s what you get hooked on when there’s nothing real going on in your life. (Don’t sweat it, ‘cause we’ve all been there, & I don’t think anyone is entirely immune — but there is a better way to live, I promise.)
So, have you ever noticed that some people just attract drama? They suck it in, it’s drawn to them, it sticks to them like eyelash glue & follows them around like a guy in a bar with a popped collar. They have one problem after another. There is always some Major Agonising Situation which requires some kind of enormous emotional investment. These people can be interesting at first, but soon the whole thing becomes tired & frustrating, aggravating & irritating. Sometimes they squeal things like, “Why does this always happen to me?!”, but behind the scenes they’re delighting in the attention & adrenaline. Believe me when I say that their drama magnetism is not a coincidence. It just isn’t. They have it because they want it, whether they realise it consciously or not.
I used to work with a girl who lurched from one crisis to another. She could never pay her rent, she had problems with her boyfriend, she was arguing with her mother, she slept with some guy who sent her abusive text messages, she was in some kind of conflict with her best friend, & the list went on. I mean, it was constant. She loved it, because it gave her something to talk about, but she was one of the world’s least pleasant people to be around, even though her personality was mostly pretty cool.
A lot of people get confused & think that in order for their life — or for them — to be interesting, they have to be surrounded by conflict & drama. Not true! Drama isn’t interesting, it’s tiresome & old. Isn’t it better to have a life that invigorates & excites you & is drama-free? Yes, of course!
If you have a pattern of attracting dramatic people, think about that & figure out where it comes from. I can’t tell you the exact reason for that, because it’s different for everyone, but it might be that you like to live vicariously through them. If so, resolve to make your own life more interesting. You don’t need to be a spectator to someone else’s life.
My advice if you have dramatic friends? Just don’t go there. You are worth so much more than that. The energy you’re using up thinking about their problems & their crap is energy you could otherwise devote to yourself, & to making yourself happy. Don’t dignify their behaviour with any kind of response, because it just gives them more fuel (& drama to add to the pot!). Don’t get tangled up in their stuff — just dust yourself off & continue on your own journey.
This is easier said than done, because sometimes extracting yourself from a relationship with a drama magnet can be somewhat akin to getting out of an abusive relationship. It can be really difficult, especially if you still care about the person & feel like you should be around to help them get out of whatever new mess they’re in. But you know what? Their stuff is their stuff, & not your problem. You’re not the white knight, & behaving like one doesn’t help them — in fact, it makes them worse. Regardless, sometimes, making positive change is hard. Sometimes, it is difficult & tricky to improve your own situation. But it is always, always worth it. Stop selling yourself short, & make it happen.
Make the effort
Of course, the crucial thing to keep in mind when you make a great friend is that you have to make an effort to keep the friendship going! This can be tricky, especially with the world being the small place it is today. Many of my closest friends live far away from me, & I might not see them before a year is up. But at the same time, making an effort doesn’t have to be an ordeal. Even keeping in touch on Facebook or via cute short emails is better than nothing. It lets the other person know you’re alive & thinking of them, which is so valuable.
Now, you may note that the heading says “make the effort”, not “make the effort when you have nothing better to do”. This includes when you are head-over-heels in love with someone new & your friends slide into lower priority! Oh, I see you blushing in the back! You can’t escape my wily gaze!
I mean, hey, it happens. If your friends are good people, they’ll understand & either bug you to hang out or just wait for you to come back to your senses! But remember them! They will probably still be around when John (or Jane) Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt gets on his (or her) horse & rides off into the sunset… !
Be assertive
I’ve written fairly extensively about How To Be Assertive before, so I won’t rehash what I’ve already said, but being assertive is really important.
What does it mean to be assertive? Here’s a quick summary. It means telling people what you want & what you need. It’s about being strong enough that people won’t take advantage of you or manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do. It means communicating clearly & honestly, not playing games & not bottling everything up until the point where you explode.
Acting assertively can seem counter-intuitive or uncomfortable at first, especially to people who have been taught to always consider everyone else before themselves, but altering your behaviour in this way will be of major benefit to you.
People who don’t behave assertively — that is to say that they behave in an aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive manner — send out confusing signals to the people around them, which can make maintaining relationships difficult. Passive people feel like they’re constantly being taken advantage of, aggressive people wonder why no one wants to get close, & passive-aggressive people are unpredictable & kind of scary! If the same things keep happening to you over & over, it’s time to change your behaviour. Stop acting like a bozo, & take control of your life & your emotions!
Treat people with respect
Okay, so if you’re not associating with people who like to stir up chaos everywhere they go, your friends are probably pretty cool. Well done you! If you have friends who are good to you & fun to be around, be sure to treat them well!
This means return their phonecalls, treat them to dinner once in a while, don’t constantly bail on seeing them & let them know that you appreciate them! Don’t just show up at their house unannounced, be sure to share good times (as opposed to just calling when you have some kind of problem), look after their belongings & don’t tell them their dress looks good on them if it doesn’t! Be good, be genuine, be a friend worth having, & you’ll be respected in return.
“Love one another & you will be happy. It’s as simple & as difficult as that.” — Michael Leunig
As for me, I think I had my quarter-life crisis — or at least some general kind of existential crisis — from about age 19 to 22 or 23. It lasted for quite a long time, & I was really miserable. I also thought I was the only person who had ever gone through something like it, which made me feel even worse. I was constantly switching jobs, trying to find something I liked — though of course, because I kept doing the same thing (jumping between very similar roles), it never made me any happier. The unhappiness just moved location. I loathed working in offices, & it seemed like I was the only person who had trouble with it. I constantly wondered, ‘What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just do this & get over it & enjoy myself?’ So my lack of meaningful work was a major factor — it really messed me up, because I felt like I was a creative person squandering my life, but didn’t know what I could possibly do to remove myself from the situation. I was convinced that no one ever made any money as a writer, so I should just forget about it.
I didn’t really have any strong friendships at the time, either. I had friends, sure, but our interactions were mostly limited to seeing one another when we were drinking on the weekend. “Real” conversations were hard to come by. They were also in similar situations to me — aka disliking their jobs — but instead of battling it like I was, they seemed resigned to their fate. This made me feel even more lost & adrift. Thankfully, at some point I learned about EFT & started using it regularly. That was what really turned my life around, & I credit it with pretty much everything I’ve achieved up to this point.
Like Annie Spandex said in the comments on the first part of this article, an existential crisis can happen at any time, & is quite normal. We all have moments of panic about who we are, where we’re going & what we’re doing. The reason why quarter- & mid-life crises exist is because these are commonly the times where we are under the most stress (quarter) or doing the most self-evaluation (mid). When you’ve just come out of school & are entering the workforce for the first time, it’s incredibly easy to be over- or even underwhelmed by “real life”! Especially when you’re still working out who you are & what you want to do with yourself. The mid-life crisis seems to be mostly brought on by looking at your life & what you’ve achieved so far, & feeling like you’ve come up short.
One of the best ways to avoid feeling like this in the first place is to live consciously. That means don’t just coast along, going about your day-to-day with little thought as to how happy you are. Question your routine. Think about your patterns, & decide to alter them if you realise they’re not working. Try new things. Learn to enjoy every moment. Don’t just get complacent & fall into a routine which doesn’t serve you, because that’s a sure route to sadness/misery/a crisis of some kind!
It’s also important to avoid comparing yourself to other people. I know that it’s a lot easier to say that than do it, but really, no good will ever come from trying to measure yourself against your friends, idols or competition. There are always going to be areas where you are better than them (of course, because you’re fabulous!), but there will also be things they are better at than you. That’s just how life is. Life isn’t a competition, even though society would like to have us think it is. (It helps them sell us stuff we don’t need, among other things.) Just be yourself. Enjoy your time on the planet. Do what pleases you. Boiled down to its most basic elements, the whole thing seems juvenile in its simplicity.
This is not to say that if you avoid an existential crisis your life will be perfect. No one’s really is, we all have our own unique challenges. But just be good to yourself. Find something you love & devote yourself to it. Make some friends who make you smile & inspire you to be a better person, & avoid those who stress you out. Don’t work yourself so hard you get an ulcer — even if you love what you do — because your well-being is more important than that. Love lots of people. Take time off, lie down & do nothing at all. Be generous & free with compliments. Feed your spirit with beautiful things. Love yourself.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [66] Tags: how to,
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[ 17 September 2008, 11:35 ]
A girl I know posted this on her journal recently.
“I believe I am entering phase five of my quarter life crisis. It’s a bit like how grief has stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression & acceptance.
Anyway quarter life crisis, phase 1: Denial. Party harder than before, delete your birth year from your Facebook profile.
Phase 2: Anger. MY LIFE IS SO SO BAD ARGHNNGGGMMPPFFF.
Phase 3: Bargaining. Give up smoking for a week and buy some expensive face wash.
Phase 4: Shame and regret.
Phase 5: Fear of your imminent death.
Phase 6: Acceptance that since you’re not ever going to do all the things you want to do or know all the things you want to know you may as well sit around smoking weed all day if you feel like it as anxiety only hastens your IMMINENT DEATH.
Phase 7: Death.”
It seems like at the moment a lot of people I know are going through their quarter-life crisis. A friend of mine from school turned 25 last week — three days before me — & when I was in Wellington, I was the recipient of a flurry of panicked emails. To put it plainly, she is freaking out. She thinks she is getting old. She has started lying to people about her age (23 seems to be the magic number). & she is convinced that she is going to have a stroke which will leave half her face paralysed.
She told me that recently an old woman who used a walking stick came into the shop where she was working. My friend said hello, & asked if she could help her, because the old woman had trouble moving around. The old woman stopped where she was, turned around & stared at my friend. “Promise me something,” she said, in a low, foreboding voice. “Don’t ever get old!”
This was the final straw.
Honestly, anyone who thinks the quarter-life crisis is a bogus phenomenon needs to meet my friends!
Most people who are going through this ugly process are aware that there is something wrong, but are you just feeling generally miserable or is it a quarter-life crisis? What are the signs or symptoms? Commonly, they are…
Feeling like you’re not doing well enough
Frustration & disillusionment with the working world
Feeling insecure about what you’re doing, where you’re going & what your plans are
Anxiety over close relationships
Feeling extremely bored with your social life (otherwise known as, “Oh my god, I will throw myself out the window if I have to go to another party at her house”)
Nostalgia for teenage years, high school or university (this often manifests itself as an obsession with looking at old photographs or reading journals & reminiscing)
Feeling a desperate need to “settle down” — like buy a house, get married or have a baby
...Or conversely, wanting to “escape” the real world — like backpacking around the world or finding a nice cave to live in
Financial stress or confusion
Intense loneliness
Feeling that everyone is doing better than you
Terror at the concept of getting “old”
Wondering “Is that all there is?”
A vague feeling of apathy, mixed with horror, panic & depression
Of course, feeling some of these things occasionally is pretty much par for the course, & not necessarily indicative that you’re going through a quarter-life crisis! However, if all these things (or the majority of them) seem to have hit you at once, this can be quite terrifying — especially if it happens to coincide with your birthday or other milestone.
So, I’ve given this quite a lot of thought over the past week or so. Why is it that some of my friends are in this terrifying choke hold, & some aren’t? I have plenty of friends who have never felt like they were going through a quarter- (or even mid-!) life crisis. Why is that?
Well, I think I know the answer. There are two deciding factors which separate the two groups. Since they both deserve a lot of attention, I’ve split this article into two parts — the second of which is coming tomorrow.
The first catalyst for a quarter-life crisis is a lack of meaningful work.
So, the idea that your work or career (or lack of one) could be contributing to your feelings of anxiety is probably a bit of a drag to some of you — especially those of you who are in denial about how happy your work makes you. By now, we all know (I’m sure) that working just to eke out a living is not the path to eternal bliss. The people who seem happiest & most fulfilled are always those who do something that turns their crank. I know that sounds like a bit of a heavy trip, especially if you don’t feel like you’re part of that camp. Believe me, I’ve been there, & I know from personal experience that there is nothing worse than working in a job you dislike. I think the place where a lot of us stumble is that we think the work we do — or the career we enter — has to be life-changing, ground-shaking, life-shattering. It doesn’t. It doesn’t at all.
When I say “meaningful work”, my definition is that it has to be meaningful to you — & only you. As much as we would all like to change the planet, that isn’t necessary to feel good or fulfilled. My idea of something “meaningful” is pretty simple: do something that has value to you.
I used to sell advertising for a small newspaper in New Zealand. My job was to sit at a desk, go through the Yellow Pages, & cold-call businesses to try & sell them space in an unsuccessful newspaper. It was awful. It had absolutely no value to me, beyond the fact that it helped me pay my rent. I would not classify this as meaningful work. On the other hand, when I worked at Lush, I loved it! I was surrounded by beautiful products which I believed in, & I got to sell them to people who really loved & appreciated them. It helped clear their skin up, or made them feel luxurious & sexy, so I felt that was a business worth being in. I really enjoyed it, & it made me feel like I was doing something worthwhile — contributing something positive. I would call that meaningful work. Like I said, you don’t have to wash the feet of lepers to do something that makes you feel good.
If the thing that made you happiest was painting watercolours for the elderly, or walking dogs, then that’s great! I’ll say it again for emphasis: you don’t have to cure AIDS, be a recycling avenger or destroy the capitalist agenda to have a life that is full of love & wonder & happiness, or to make a difference to other people’s lives.
The great thing is that just by being who we are, & being happy, we serve as an incredible example to everyone we come into contact with. I am not a saint or a perfect person, but I feel good about what I’m doing with my life. When people ask me what I do for a living, or enquire as to what I’ve been up to recently, most of them are pretty excited to hear my response. Plenty of them give me a crazed look, before the barrage of questions begins. “So, you don’t work for anyone else? & you travel around & write from wherever you like? Huh?!”
I hope that they go home & think about how they could bring a little magic into their own lives, & I know that a lot of them do — just like a lot of you do after you discover iCiNG & start getting into the spirit of it! That’s just it — sometimes things seem impossible until we see someone else do it — & then, we often feel brave enough to give it a try. In fact, this happens all the time: you can see clear examples of this in athletics. No one can run a mile in under x minutes until they see someone else succeed, & then, all of a sudden, athletes spanning the globe can do it. Just like that. It really goes to show that the only things holding us back are our self-imposed limits or our beliefs about our own capabilities.
Having said all this, most people who aren’t doing some kind of work which pushes their buttons are in that situation precisely because they don’t know where to begin. They don’t always know what their interests are, or where their talents lie, & the whole idea is kind of scary. (Having said this, if you know what you should be doing, but are just putting it off — muster up some courage, & begin!) I think a lot of what fuels a quarter-life crisis is this feeling that somehow, everyone but you has a grand plan for their life, & they are Getting Things Done & Going Somewhere, & you’re the only person who is kind of lost & confused. Don’t be tempted to think that people with a “career plan” have it all figured out, or that their lives are perfect. The truth is, most people don’t have a master plan at all. A lot of us are just blindly feeling our way, trying to make the best of whatever situations come our way.
Ths is a long-winded way of saying don’t feel bad because you haven’t got everything all figured out. No one does. The people who think they do tend to learn the hard way that they really don’t. Life is supposed to be an adventure, & it’s supposed to be tricky sometimes! That’s what makes life interesting! If every boy you liked fell at your feet immediately, or you were suddenly a wild success without really doing anything to get there, you would be bored to tears. A bit of a challenge is good for us, because it shows us what we’re made of & proves to us the power we really have — which then helps us to go on & do bigger, bolder & better things.
Here are some things to keep in mind if you feel like your quarter-life crisis stems from a lack of meaningful work:
Listen to yourself
Above all else, remember that you are living your life for you & you alone. If your life thus far has been an effort to make your parents/significant other/friends happy, believe me when I say that you are fooling yourself & wasting your time. This doesn’t mean you have to be inconsiderate or the world’s most selfish person, but you have to put yourself first. Don’t let people bully you into a lifestyle that doesn’t interest or suit you. It is a recipe for complete misery. No one wants to wake up at age 60 & realise they’ve completely squandered their life!
Often our parents, lovers, friends, religious leaders or other people in the community act as if they know what is best for us. While it’s true that everyone has a unique & valuable perspective on life, that does not mean that they are right, or that they can possibly know what our life should be like. Only you can determine that for yourself.
Listening to yourself means paying attention to what interests you, acting on what your intuition tells you (& not just shoving it down or ignoring it), & allowing yourself to grow, expand & make mistakes. Scary, yes! But once you have started living in this way, you’ll never go back. It is an entirely new experience.
Take it slowly
Don’t feel compelled to rush into anything. Time is an illusion, after all, so don’t allow an illusion to dictate your life! We all feel like there’s never enough time, but if you can make the effort to slow down, be in the present & appreciate what you’re doing right at this very second, that perception will begin to change.
Life is not a race, regardless of what your friends or the media may tell you. Who are you competing against, what are you really competing for, & does it actually matter? Your best friend might have a baby & a sparkly engagement ring, while your favourite cousin has a high-paying job & an amazing apartment, but so what? Everyone’s life moves at a different speed & no one is doing better or worse than anyone else. You might be envious of your friend’s baby while she secretly wishes she was unencumbered & able to travel the world like you do.
Don’t rush! Regardless of how uncomfortable it may feel, you are always at the perfect place for you, your life, your growth, development & experience.
Stay curious
As well as keeping you young, it will allow you to remain open to the opportunities that present themselves to you. Stay excited, keep asking questions, continue to move through life. It’s much better to be curious & happy than trapped in something you’re not enjoying.
Have faith in yourself
Sometimes you have to take a big, scary leap into the unknown. You may not know the next step, & you might not know exactly what you’re doing, or how it’s all going to work out — but you need to have faith in yourself & trust in the process.
A lot of people never take any risks because they feel the need to organise their life to death & have stringent plans which they execute like clockwork. That’s an okay way to live, but it’s certainly not very exciting, & it can take some of the thrill out of life! Life becomes much more magnificent when you just decide to do things, & trust that it will all work out. It can be terrifying, but it’s also amazing.
When you have vexing problems or a zillion questions, know that you already have the answer — & everything else you will ever need — inside you.
Be true to yourself
Become aware of the fact that what other people are doing with their lives is not necessarily right for you, no matter how fun/glamorous/cool/right it may seem. You cannot live anyone else’s life. You can only ever live your own, so don’t try to fit yourself into the mold someone else has poured.
Of course, you should try new things to see if they work for you or not. But don’t force yourself to do something if it’s not right for you, or just because you feel like you should. It will only make you feel uncomfortable. It’s much better to be authentic & cut your own path than take painful steps in someone else’s shoes.
Follow your passion
This is part of having faith in yourself, but gets its own mention because sometimes this can be hard to do — especially if people around you are critical or devoted to being “realistic” all the time. People with passion are often misunderstood because they sometimes look crazy from the outside! Don’t let other people’s opinions or judgements sway you. If you know what you’re doing & you have a vision, you should follow it.
“Everyone has a talent, what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.”
— Erica Jong
If you really feel like you’re in the clutches of a quarter-life crisis & don’t quite know how to deal with it, these books come highly recommended. Many people have said they helped a lot — they no longer felt alone in their situation, & were able to gain some perspective & take steps which helped break them out of it.
Try Christine Hassler’s 20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman’s Guide to Balance and Direction & 20 Something Manifesto: Quarter-Lifers Speak Out About Who They Are, What They Want, and How to Get It, The Quarterlifer’s Companion: How to Get on the Right Career Path, Control Your Finances, and Find the Support Network You Need to Thrive by Abby Wilner & Catherine Stocker, Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis: Advice from Twentysomethings Who Have Been There and Survived by Alexandra Robbins, Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties by Alexandra Robbins & Abby Wilner, & Upload Experience: Quarterlife Solutions for Teens And Twentysomethings by Jason Steinle.
You might also like to read this article from life coach Tim Brownson, How To Survive A Mid- Or Quarter-Life Crisis.
Part two is coming tomorrow, sweet thing, so sit tight!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [95] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
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productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!The Virgo Birthday Extravaganza: Report!
[ 16 September 2008, 10:33 ]
Nubby & I had such an incredible birthday! If you came out to Central Park to celebrate with us, let me say a huge THANK YOU! It was really touching & awesome that so many of you made the effort. Even better, you were all gorgeous, charming & well-dressed! We couldn’t have asked for a better guest list.
We received some amazing gifts, including wedding rings from Princess Poochie, beautiful prints from Cynthia, pink roses, books of poetry, heart-shaped cakes, stockings & eye make-up, birthday cards & lots of hugs!
Nubby & I opening our presents from Marie...
She gave us custom-made corsages! Nubby’s had Michael Jackson on it, & mine had a picture of Biggie. Swoon.
Exchanging vows — with Star officiating!
My beautiful bride/groom!
Our party was originally going to happen on the grass in Strawberry Fields, but it had been raining a little bit beforehand so the ground was pretty muddy. We decided to go & perch on a big rock, instead. This is a photo from the beginning of the party — I think there were probably around 50 guests in total. Most of them were from New York, but people flew in from California & North Carolina, as well as Boston & a girl from Melbourne who just happened to be in NYC at the time! (It was weird to hear an Australian accent again!)
Our triple layer cake from Sugar Sweet Sunshine. When I was ordering it on the phone, the woman asked if I wanted decorations & sprinkles. I said, “Can you please make it kind of… pink & ridiculous?”
Mmmm, red velvet.
When Bianca showed up, she told Nubby & I that she’d like to set up her camera & take portraits of the guests. This is what transpired…
It was a long day. Here is photographic evidence of us crashed out in our matrimonial bed in our incredible suite at the Hotel On Rivington!
We had such a great time, & we hope you did too! If you were able to join us, thank you so much for celebrating our birthdays with us! If you weren’t, maybe we’ll see you next year… ?!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [68] Tags: gala,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Fashion Designer!
[ 15 September 2008, 10:00 ]
My friend Ana Steele is one of the most amazing, intriguing people I’ve ever met. Our paths crossed at a goth-themed photoshoot (yes, really) for Pulp magazine where I was a model & she was the stylist. I was instantly drawn to this mad-looking girl with Tank Girl tattoos, wearing a faux-fur wig! We became fast friends & have shared many fun, bizarre evenings! All of that aside, she’s also an incredibly talented fashion designer. She whips up magnificent pieces with alarming regularity & is always trying something new or different, so she seemed like the ideal person to ask about making it in the fashion world!
Ana says, “I have a cynical disclaimer… It’s ALL TRUE! Do not be scared… I love my job…”
Tell us about what you do.
I am a fashion designer based in Auckland. NZ. I design my new collection every 6 months (Summer/Winter). I am still a ‘one lady’ band. I design, make patterns and samples, do sales trips, take orders, do costings per garment, manage production of orders, write and read countless emails, pay heaps of bills all while trying to stay sane and hopefully make some art and possibly have a life outside my workroom! And feed cat with meat… While I am designing a new collection, I am in production stage of the past season — so essentially, 2 jobs are happening ALL the time! Eek!
How long ago did you start on this path?
I have been in this industry — in some way or another — for almost 9 years! Eek x2!
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I worked as an ‘apprentice’ for a small boutique in their workroom, part-time, for 5 years, learning about garment construction and production on a small scale. Yet did not prepare me at all for what I have gotten myself into now as a ‘producer and wholesaler’ of goods.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
I entered a competition that was run by a new business searching for young fashion designers. I did well. Out of us 9 section winners, the judges chose 4 to work with the company and develop collections for Winter 2003… We were filmed over 3 months for a documentary screened as a TV2 episode. It was during this process I made wicked friends with fellow designer Michael Pattison, and we have since opened a workroom/retail space together. He is my bestest fiend xx.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
Not so much… But, I believe that years of study and determination does bring one an invaluable sense of work ethic — which I have never had. It has taken me 2 years of being in business to finally understand how much effort one must put in to achieve anything significant. And when you work for yourself, it’s never enough… I have started to wake up way too early, thinking about what should have been done yesterday!
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
I am so fortunate I get to do what I want! I can make my art! Dangerous schedule but all hour, any hour!
What’s the worst thing?
I have to do it all by myself and make money somehow in a highly competitive industry… I am not so savvy in ‘business’ and to be an ‘artist in business’ ? Hahahaahahaha (2 worlds collide)... Crashing!
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
Today = absolute rats. Though still smiling! About 36.
Yesterday = creative funday and my ‘Sunday’ and hung out with a great friend. About 81.
In one month, aka fashion week = 100 fuckin’ percent, 1 minute after the show!
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
I want to be a workaholic so much! I really need to be… but alas for me, I am a dreamy artist. The fashion designers that I know, who are successful, are total workaholics… Being around them pushes me to get more ‘flashness’ done faster!
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Don’t! Haha… Gosh man… Seriously think about it. Work in the industry with switched on folk and get an in. Starting up from scratch is so damn hard. Marketing is essential. And one needs some money — at least in NZ. I have to outlay all production costs with no deposit, a massive risk!
...How about number two?
Get a PR company and/or agent. It will be a costly monthly expense to your business, but if no one knows about you, you will make more money on the benefit.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
I wish I was born with a twin who is fully functional in all realms of business, who can interpret my wishes… Why does an artist want to care about spreadsheets and invoices?
Hell, I just want to make amazing clothes, draw pictures and spray paint mannequins xxx
Find a sweet, fashion savvy accountant, who you can pay in glorious clothes xxx
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
I guess that depends on who asks.
My industry looks glamorous from the outside. As explained earlier… ‘Tis not the case. It is a touch lonely, as you are working a lot — especially at the crucial times.
If you like to travel, why not try a sales trip? 2 weeks in a van thing… Totally fun, but do you like trailer parks?
If you enjoy glamour, try a fashion show! You will spend time putting masking tape on the soles of borrowed shoes while shooting a ‘lookbook’ of your designs at the last hour, making appointments, styling the show, not enough ears for phones. There is no time no more… wishing for that overdue holiday… it may not happen! Maybe next year?
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
My crew.
I have mentioned my workroom space with Michael. He is from Space. My fiend…
We also have the amazing Eunis (our sample machinist), and the ‘flash as Lara’ (Michael’s assistant) burlesque actress beauty.
We sing and dance heaps while ‘enduring’ each others company!
Each month brings a ridiculous new turn of phrase…
This month = SPRING BREAK! it must be exclaimed in THE MOST exuberant fashion one can fathom… We have convinced people from Korea, Amsterdam, China and Grey Lynn that this is a most exciting couple of words to screech at the opportune moment in time.
For example: A friend walks in the door announcing we should take a 10 min coffee hiatus… !!!! SPRING BREAK! !!!! YEA!
Or anything… I just finished my task! ... SPRING BREAK! Depending on the day… Use this information wisely of course. Say it loud + lewd xxx
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [29] Tags: how to,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 11 September 2008, 16:50 ]
+ + + Oui, mes petites, it’s time for Things I Love Thursday! The biggest, happiest, most fabulous, ooey-gooey lovefest this side of… well, Burning Man maybe! Those of us in the northern hemisphere are experiencing one of the most beautiful season changes right now, while those of you in the antipodes (hello, Friday!) are watching spring come to fruition! How could you not be delighted?! Join with me in this week’s TiLT — my last list aged 24! Shocking!
The things I love this Thursday, in no particular order… Drumroll, please!
Porch swings! More specifically, the one I’m sitting in right now to write this! There is dappled sunlight & people walking around & beautiful houses all the way down the street. It’s amazing. There is no better place to write a gratitude list from, I swear, especially while listening to the Legendary Pink Dots. I am a major swing fan, so having one right outside the front door at my disposal is pretty much the best thing ever!
Arriving in New York at midnight… & being greeted by a dozen cupcakes from my favourite cupcakerie in NYC... & a cute boy to share them with! Awwww, geez.
Fashion week madness — It has been super-fun. I haven’t logged hundreds of hours in the tents, because I value my sanity too much — ha! — but the time I have spent there has been fabulous. Yuli has totally taken care of me & shown me a really good time, as well as showing me plenty of tricks of the trade for next year! It’s really, truly fabulous to sit in on the shows, & even more interesting to observe the general scene. I love to see what people are wearing, listen in on their conversations & soak up the atmosphere! It’s a different world inside the tents — so much so that when you walk out onto 42nd Street, you almost get culture-shock. I’m really loving the whole experience & think next year will be even bigger & better!
My New York experience in general — I am having a damn good time, oh yes! Highlights so far include “trend-spotting” at a party for Tattoo Society magazine, holding hands, eating dinner at Pure Food & Wine, luxuriant lounging on the world’s largest velvet couch, sleeping in a lovely cool bedroom, walking blocks & blocks in uncomfortable shoes but not minding because my company was so hilarious, American accents (I love them, okay?), getting really dressed up all the time, non-creepy strangers on the street telling me I look beautiful, sweet phonecalls & hugging people I haven’t seen in too long (like, omg, a whole month
My birthday outfit — No, not my birthday suit, my birthday outfit! Mmmmm. Yes ma’am. I bought a dress & shoes from Betsey Johnson the other day, & I cannot wait to wear them. I took the dress out of its garment bag last night, & I actually squealed. God, I’m so excited. The whole outfit is totally Barbie on acid, it’s amazing. Plus, you know you did good when you send a photo to your mother via email, & when she looks at it, the first words out of her mouth are, “Oh, WOW!” I also discovered that the free underwear I got at the Betsey show has a glittery cupcake on the front with a candle stuck in the top — hello, birthday knickers!
Impatient by Will.I.Am — It’s like the story of my life. Which is not to say I’m not enjoying the present moment (apologies to Eckhart), because I am, yes I am! But I am also super-excited about the future. There are always so many amazing things on the horizon! I can’t wait to see a certain cutie who gets back to the city tomorrow, & I get to see Star (who I met on my birthday in 2006!) tomorrow night too! I’m going to embrace my Virgo soulmate on Saturday morning, before we run all over the city collecting birthday supplies, & then we’re going to have big decadent partyyyy, then elope to Vegas for our honeymoon… Seriously, way too exciting, & way too much awesome for one girl alone to handle!
Will.I.Am in general — Honestly, the whole Songs About Girls album is phenomenal, though my favourite tracks are Ain’t It Pretty, Spending Money, Over & Heartbreaker. So good it warranted a heart-shaped bullet-point all of its own!
The official Gala tribute cupcake made by my brilliant friend Jess, who unfortunately can’t be in New York City for my birthday bash on Saturday…
!!!!!!!
Honourable mentions: Watching Grease on the plane; using my Helio phone again!; hanging out with Timmy Crunk at Auckland airport (aw!); sleeping on the plane with the blanket covering my entire body, including my head; kissing; beautiful warm weather; compliments which make me blush; big packages in the mail; watching fashion TV at 6am & talking over the top of it; misleading Nubby into thinking there were real midgets living above me!; antique handcuffs; pink stains in the bathtub; colour un-coordination with an entire house; my bags from Femme Sud!; making new friends; raw dinner dates; glossy black manicures; Coilhouse magazine (it’s a beauty, you should snap it up!) & their mention of me in their acknowledgements — awww!: realising my signature looks like it says “Galaxy“!; slightly terrifying energy drinks; hanging out with my birthday twin (same day & year!); preparing my “things I did the year I was 24” list; fashion week swag bags; genetic miracles; the 9/11 tribute (pretty beautiful), & um… cute boys in general! I am a fan.
How about you, gorgeous?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [70] Tags: gala,
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things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Betsey Johnson at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
[ 11 September 2008, 13:39 ]
“Making clothes involves what I like… Colour, pattern, shape & movement… I like the everyday process… The people, the pressure, the surprise of seeing the work come alive walking & dancing around on strangers. Like red lipstick on the mouth, my products wake up & brighten & bring the wearer to life… Drawing attention to her beauty & specialness… Her moods & movements… Her dreams & fantasies.” — Betsey Johnson
The Betsey Johnson show on the 9th of September was every girl’s dream. It was so theatrical & over-the-top — totally brilliant. I kept turning to my friend Yuli & making gaping, flabbergasted faces!
A fashion veteran at 66 years old, Betsey is well-known for her extravagant shows, for her wicked design aesthetic & for cartwheeling down the catwalk! With 45 boutiques across the world, Betsey shows no sign of slowing down, & in fact, her creations seem to be getting even more fabulous.
I adored my very first Betsey Johnson show, & hope to attend many more in the future!
Yuli & I in the front row.
Celebrity seating: Kelly Osbourne was at one of these tables.
Note the ‘B’ cupcakes & little golden books.
Betsey wore green throughout the show. She came out in a gingham, off-the-shoulder frock. She was holding her newest granddaughter, Ella, & holding the hand of other granddaughter Layla, as she handed out balloons.
The show had an amazing atmosphere & energy. The music was loud & fabulous, with bass that vibrated throughout the entire tent & up through the seats. The models wore bobbed wigs of blue, pink, black & purple, & walked with sass & attitude. They skipped & twirled & blew kisses at the cameras.
So, how was the collection? It ran an incredible gamut, veering from Little House On The Prairie gone awry to a procession of virginal brides in white with their hands chained behind their backs.
Every outfit was accessorised with a small bowler hat. As one tends to expect from Betsey, there were plenty of ruffles & prints. Polka-dots, pinstripes & a skull & crossbones motif all made their presence felt. There were also plenty of hoop skirts, what looked like floral hospital gowns, ruffled bloomers, striped stockings, colourful fingerless gloves, pinstriped rompers in pastel hues, tattered ribbon skirts in candy colours & tropicana sun-dresses.
Photos courtesy of Style.com.
The stand-out looks for me were a Victorian hospital chic outfit complete with lace-up bloomers & corset, all in white, & an incredible strapless tie-dyed ruffled maxi-dress.
Photo courtesy of Style.com.
Pirate chic was big, & introduced by a staggering Jack Sparrow-esque character, who leered at the girls as they strutted past & laughed to himself.
You can see plenty of fabulous runway shots here at Style.com!
Betsey closed the show by running out in a huge, sparkly dress in emerald green — very Wizard of Oz — & cartwheeling down the runway before taking theatrical bows. She was followed by a parade of models, all holding vibrantly-coloured helium balloons. They danced & sashayed down the runway & back, to huge applause.
I took some video, too. Unfortunately, the lights were so insanely bright that it made filming difficult, but it does give you an idea of the music, the energy & the atmosphere! Watch until the end — the balloons are amazing!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [22] Tags: aesthetic,
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video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Nicole Miller & Erin Fetherston at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
[ 9 September 2008, 09:57 ]
So, for those of you who don’t know already, I’ve teamed up with My It Things & Inside The Tents to do a whole lot of coverage of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week! Inside The Tents is totally the site to watch for up-to-date coverage of the shows — there’s a live Twitter feed from the contributors, anything tagged #nyfw by us gets published on the site, so it’s super-quick & live live live! (It’s like evil, evil crack for fashionistas. You’re welcome!)
Friday was my first day in the tents & it was a pretty eye-opening experience. Fashion week in New Zealand & Australia have nothing on New York! The entrance to the tents is staffed by burly men wearing earpieces, & as you walk up the steps, cameras flash all around you. People on either side of the barricades stare at you, smile at you, talk to each other about what they can see. Inside, the tent is ringed by promotional booths where they happily hand out swag. (The queue for a pair of Havianas snakes around on itself.) The entrances to the shows are manned by brusque & (dare I say it) slightly self-important men in suits, who don’t look at you when they talk & expect the swarms of girls in stilettos to follow their arbitrary rules. “Did Julia write a number on your invitation? No? THEN I’M NOT LETTING YOU IN!” & the final nail in the coffin, in terms of the obvious differences between fashion week here & fashion week in the antipodes? The backstage entrances are guarded by police. Plenty of them.
I attended two shows on Friday — Nicole Miller & Erin Fetherston.
The Nicole Miller show had a bangin’ soundtrack which had most of us dancing in our seats (or grooving on our feet — the show was so popular that it was well past the point of standing room only). The collection was fresh & youthful, with lots of hats, elegant twisted draping & printed sun-dresses. A pair of tailored harem pants also made a huge impression (& were sent down the runway at least 3 times). Most of the models wore long necklaces ending with a bead & a feather. One of the things I liked most was a trenchcoat worn open & belted over a sweet summer dress.
Afterwards, I met with Yuli & after some judicious flashing of various passes, we ascended the stairs to the American Express Sky Box Lounge. The Amex Lounge is an amazing space situated above two of the tents, with covered glass on either side. As the shows begin, the shutters are opened, & you can see right down onto the catwalk. The view is absolutely incredible, & even better, while all this is going on, they offer you canapes & thrust alcohol at you.
It was sitting there that I did my first video experiment, completely off-the-cuff & unprepared, in case you couldn’t tell! Here I am introducing the Erin Fetherston show! (Please excuse the terrifying still!)
I filmed this with my teeny little camera, so the quality isn’t exceptional, but it does give you an idea of what happened at the show!
Erin Fetherston.
Erin’s show was amazing — I sat in absolute rapture as I watched it. Remember when we talked about dressing like a cupcake should feel? For anyone hankering after that aesthetic, Erin is totally your girl. She showed plenty of white & gold brocade, iridescent sequins (shiny!), baby pink accents, & lots of frills. Bjork’s infamous swan dress would have fit right in. Some of the dresses looked like what you might wear to bed in the 1960s, but it all added to the drama & there were some absolutely incredible pieces. I adored about 80% of it. Swoon! Lust!
Today I’m heading back into the fray — Betsey Johnson is showing this afternoon, & I’m really excited to see what happens (& to eyeball what the attendees are wearing)! Stay tuned for more madness!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [28] Tags: aesthetic,
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video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... An Illustrator!
[ 8 September 2008, 10:38 ]
At only 24 years old, Molly Crabapple is the founder of international art movement Dr Sketchy’s Anti-Art School, as well as being an author, freelance illustrator & all-around inspiring girl. I was very fortunate to make her acquaintance in New York City. She’s always on the go, always doing something, & I can’t think of a better person to speak to about making a living as an illustrator!
Tell us about what you do.
I draw pictures for a living. This could mean hanging my work in gallery shows, illustrating kids books, designing installations for art parades, creating 30 foot theatrical curtains, or making webcomics. I’m also the founder of Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School, a chain of alt.drawing sessions that takes place in 60 cities around the world.
How long ago did you start on this path?
I’ve been drawing since I was a little girl. As an angsty teen, it seemed natural to go to art school, and while there, I decided to take my passion for drawing and attempt to claw a living out of it.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I was a year out of college before I was able to subsist wholly on drawing. Before that, I had a variety of jobs, mostly in the scantily/ridiculously clad girl industry. If you want to make a living off of art, you have to put every second of your time into it. It’s not an industry for slackers!
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
Becoming a professional artist was definitely a series of small steps. The biggest thing that happened for me was creating Dr. Sketchy’s and getting a book deal out of it. Doing the Dr. Sketchy’s Rainy Day Colouring Book got me written up in over 80 media outlets around the world, and was the single biggest profile-booster I’ve ever done.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
NO! You do not need to pay 30,000 a year to have someone artistically legitimize you. While you definitely need a high degree of skill to go into art (not to mention the tenacity of the damned), you can get this through books, workshops, drawing classes, apprenticing with another artist, and carrying sketchpads wherever you go. As for launching your career — it’s all about networking. So leave the house.
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
To me, being self employed is the only way to live life. There just seems something awful about being constantly doled out an allowance based on your obedience and ability to follow arbitrary “professional” rules. Being self employed is wildly unstable, but you can also do whatever you want.
What’s the worst thing?
Wild financial instability. Months with no income. Working many, many more hours than you ever would on a job.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
Mid 80’s. Sometimes I get angsty because I didn’t get this or that opportunity. But then I remember that most people don’t get paid to draw pictures or travel around the world, and I slap some sense into myself.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
Yes. I’m a total workaholic. I don’t think you can run your own business, at least in the early years, without being one. Maybe later, when you’re very established, you can ease up. But not during the early years!
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Keep your eyes open for opportunities. There are thousands of ways for artists to promote themselves out there. You can illustrate for zines, do a catchy sketchblog, have shows in local bars. You just have to be very persistent, but you can get out there.
...How about number two?
Network with other artists, writers, gallery owners, media folks… everyone really. Your network will give you more opportunities than any promotional postcard mailing.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
I wish someone had told me that when someone wants you to work for free, they’re usually trying to rip you off. Cool pro bono projects are great, but save them for the wandering circus troupe, rather than the sleazy guy with the “idea for a children’s book”.
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
People think being an artist isn’t a real job. It’s actually a ton of work, but you can also make a decent living at it.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
I love to draw. I also love mozying out of bed at noon and spending all day drinking espresso in my pajamas.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
I really look up to Travis Louie, as a brilliant artist in his own right, as a businessman, and as someone who consistently spreads opportunities to other artists. His generosity is unparalleled in the oft brutal gallery scene. Also, my man Fred Harper, Paul Booth for creating a world unto himself and Kevin O’Neill cause he wields a pen like a god.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [38] Tags: how to,
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life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 3 September 2008, 18:04 ]
Daphne Guinness.
Blog World Expo — I am in the incredibly fortune situation of being able to go to Las Vegas for this expo on the 20th & 21st of September! I’m really, really excited about going to immerse myself in BLOG MANIA for two days! I can’t think of anything better! God, America is cool. ...But wait! That’s not all! Guess who’s coming with me? NUBBY TWIGLET! It’s going to be our official honeymoon, combining some of our favourite things: extravagance, flashing lights, lunacy & blogging! Haha. Aahhhhh! Virgo Vegas Vivaciousness! I am absolutely over the moooon about the whole thing, because I’m going to see a whole lot of amazing people speak, as well as fuel up on inspiration & insights! Even better, it’s in Vegas! Aaaargh! I have never been, the closest I have been to Vegas is watching National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation (Chevy Chase is pretty much my dream man) over & over again… I hear it is amazing & bright & colourful & ridiculous, so I am totally PSYCHED! Plus I get to see my Melbourne BFF, Darren Rowse! Hee. Yay! We’re not going to be there long — three nights (though I hear that will be long enough) — but any suggestions of must see places are welcome! (Nubby doesn’t know it yet, but we’re totally going to hit up Retro Bakery!)
International playgirl lifestyle! Otherwise known as… I am going to the airport in a few hours! Ooh la la! Even better, during what would be a boring three-hour layover in Auckland, I’m instead going to enjoy the company of one Timmy Crunk — the likes of whom I haven’t seen since August 2006! Too long! (My response to this news was basically “&^*&$^$!!!”) I’ve also appointed myself as the queen of sleeping-while-flying (& I kind of love the image it conjures up, slumbering Gala above the clouds, at a gazillion kilometres an hour), so I am looking forward to reclining my seat & passing out for a good zillion hours before I arrive in my favourite city ever. It is going to be excellent!
Spring — It’s a good season, & it just started here in the antipodes. I saw a pudgy bumblebee the other day, flying around drunkenly, & I smelt honeysuckle as I passed my neighbour’s house… Now I am leaving, but I trust you New Zealanders will enjoy it! & I will be back for the infamous New Zealand summer! Hooray!
Ridiculous manicures — You get the best ones at malls, I find. Not the best quality manicure, no no, but the most decadent, over-the-top & silly. A manicure to make Marie Antoinette proud! My latest? Eye-gouging pink with a sprinkling of clear jewels in white. Oh yes, baby. I hope that after it all starts to fall apart, people find the jewels stuck to ridiculous places & think, ‘What the hell is this?
Anticipating warm weather — ‘Nuff said.
Pole-dancing! Last week I went for a pole-dancing lesson taught by a girl with the coolest name ever (Hester!) & my super-sweet friend Jo. It was so much fun! I loved it! Even though I had to wear short-shorts! It was really great to swing myself around & pretend to be sultry, haha. I have been meaning to try it for such a long time, & now I finally have, & I am totally into it! It was the best type of exercise — so much fun that I didn’t realise how much of a work-out I was getting. I was in complete pain for days afterwards, I couldn’t even lift my arms above my head! I am definitely going to go to classes as soon as I have some semblance of a routine again, hahah…
This song which has been in my head since Monday evening…
Honourable mentions: “Call the cops when you see Tupac…”; Talladega Nights; listening to the top 100 hip-hop singles; Skinny Puppy (Mirror Sawwwww); Enduser; Legendary Pink Dots (playing in NYC in October, hell yes, it’s been years since I last saw them — 2003 in Paris!); Clock DVA (Jeffrey Dahmer’s favourite); a compulsion to only wear sexy black dresses for the rest of my life; Ebay frenzies; cupcake promises; brilliant girl geniuses; Whittaker’s Dark Mocha chocolate (yup, just like last week!); obsessively planning outfits; setting new goals; “I’m tired of using technology; why don’t you sit down on top of me?”; chokers; dancing around the living room playing dress-up; Happy Mess; late night talks with Ana about split tongues (!), lust & Japan!; my father snoring (too cute); imagining a crystal-encrusted bone to go through my nose; actually, crystal-encrusted anything!; time-lapse photography; cupcake hairclips; Kylie Mole (!!!); making huge salads; watching Mike Dooley; assigning myself as Jazzi‘s godmother; deep-fried Mars Bars (oh, my, god); lovely cool awesome people, oh & did I mention I’M GOING TO NEW YORK TODAY?!
Okay, your turn! What are you excited about right now?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [84] Tags: gala,
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things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Dame Darcy's Gasoline
[ 2 September 2008, 17:33 ]
When I was in New York a couple of months ago, I was extremely fortunate to meet Dame Darcy. She’s an artist, writer, musician & film-maker, & when I was a teenager, she was one of my personal heroes. I used to buy her Meatcake comics off Ebay, then wait for months for them to arrive by some tragically slow shipping method, because there was no other way of getting them in New Zealand!
In July, my friend Dicie invited me to a birthday party in Brooklyn, where Dame Darcy was reading palms & tarot cards. Dicie, her boyfriend & I all lined up, & when it finally came my time to sit down, we started talking. To make a long story short, that was the beginning of a delightfully unusual friendship which included midnight jaunts to Ukrainian diners where we slurped borscht, talking about casting spells & realising we know all the same people.
But anyway. The point is this. Dame Darcy has a new graphic novel coming out in October. It’s a post-apocalyptic fairy tale called Gasoline, it’s about learning to survive in a world without gasoline, & it features… Fairies! Witches! Zombie sailors! Telekinesis! Voodoo rock bands! & eco-consciousness!
I’ve seen some of the pages & it is amazing — really original, beautifully drawn & radical in motive. I can’t wait to get my hands on the real, bound deal!
We met in Central Park to talk about it on an incredibly steamy day in July, & here’s what eventuated… (We also filmed an hour-long interview sitting on my bed in the West Village, parts of which are coming soon to a screen near you!)
For lucky American ducks, there are Gasoline events happening in Los Angeles & New York in November, with book signings, bands, Gitane Demon from Christian Death, costume competitions, art exhibitions & apocalyptic cabaret! Have a look & write the dates down somewhere. You’d be maaaaaad to miss it!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [13] Tags: consumption,
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video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Cupcake Queen!
[ 31 August 2008, 15:11 ]
Jess & I got in contact at the end of 2007 when she emailed me to introduce herself, say she had just started a cupcake business & ask me if I’d like to taste-test her product. (Would I ever!) Since then we have become fast friends, shopped up a storm together in New York City, & sent many, many crass emails back & forth. As well as being an awesome, feisty & inspirational woman, she also makes the best (no comparison) cupcakes I’ve ever eaten. & I’m not just saying that!
Here’s an insight into her business & what she does!
Tell us about what you do.
I am the director, marketing executive, pastry chef, flavour consultant, administrative assistant etc. etc. for Sugadeaux Cupcakes. Okay, I run my own cupcake business. Did I mention we have merchandise?
How long ago did you start on this path?
Just under a year. I had always loved baking and trying new recipes, particularly with an interest in old-school American cakes and pies.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I had only been trading for about a month when I realised there was no need to hang on to my corporate office gig! But, as I said, I had always loved cooking and baking, I didn’t just decide one day to jump on the bandwagon because they were a hot fad in the States…
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
It was slow but steady growth that allowed me to do cupcakes as a career. But, before I launched, I invested time into the recipes, designs, research about where I wanted to position myself in a potentially crowded market, graphics, branding etc. etc. I had some great friends help me build a great website — invaluable.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
Not at all. I think it’s incredibly helpful to have professional training as a Pastry Chef (which I do not), particularly as they are familiar with great techniques which really help in inventing new recipes, and also tweaking current ones. I think it’s a bit of a matter of “you either have it or you don’t”. If you don’t have formal training, you still need to get to a place where you understand the chemistry of baking, and if you’re not interested in asking questions and seeking answers, you probably won’t be outputting the best product you could be producing… I am a firm believer that along with common sense, having the best product available will speak volumes. For example, I don’t have any flavours with banana in them, because I hate banana and wouldn’t be able to taste test. Pretty much it comes down to this: I produce what I would love to eat. If I don’t think it tastes the best it can, I don’t sell it.
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
Autonomy, creative freedom, being responsible for my own time management, really maximizing my hours, not ever slacking because I’d only be robbing myself, plus I cannot recommend highly enough the satisfaction of being solely responsible for your own income. Score!
What’s the worst thing?
It’s a small detail, but it’s probably that I work by myself and therefore have no colleagues to whinge to or bounce ideas off. Your friends can only care so much about baked goods…
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
85. I’d like to be able to delegate, but I’m a control freak. I’m not sure 100 is attainable on an average day. There are definitely days in the nineties…
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
I’m not a workaholic per se, but i am definitely 100% more motivated to work longer and harder now that it’s my own business. I think a true workaholic works themselves to the bone whether in their own business or being employed by someone else. I think in my industry, it’s more normal to delegate to an apprentice or other baker to do the work for you, basically teach the recipes and step back. I don’t do that, maybe one day if the workload is totally unreasonable I would, but not right now. The worst practice in the industry (in my opinion) would be changing the business to use packet mixes, to keep up with demand. If you became successful with a quality product, you never sacrifice that quality for production benefits. And uh, while I’m on a rant, I am religiously opposed to freezing cupcakes. I challenge anyone to honestly convince me that a thawed cupcake is EVER as good as fresh.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Love food, love flavours, love baking, love weird kitchen utensils, love being creative. Do not do this because you think cupcakes are cute, or that it would be “fun”. Trust me, frosting 700 cupcakes gets non-fun pretty quickly, so the passion for the product itself has to be there. It’s not unlike yourself, Gala, although you clearly have a fabulous life and career, the fact is you do need to park your ass in front of a computer and invest quality time into writing and research. It’s not like you run around all day waiting for fabulousness to just happen… well, not every day.
...How about number two?
Damn you! Why did I read this after writing so much for number one?! Ok, number two is be realistic. I’m all for following dreams, but it is a business, it involves real money and you have to be sensible. For example, had there already been like 8 cupcakeries in my city, I might have decided that it’s not a particularly savvy idea to enter what would have been an already flooded market. I probably would have kept baking as a hobby for family and friends.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
How to rock a pair of pink cowboy boots… but then someone wrote this article...
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
Not really, it’s pretty transparent… As I kinda said before, it does take hard work, and a real love for the product. There is a general cupcake misconception I’m working hard to negate, which is that they should be covered in girlie flowers and ordered only on special occasions. So not true! I think they should be viewed like any other food — you crave it because of how it tastes, not because it’s cute.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
I really adore baking, and the satisfaction of a total stranger with no agenda telling me that my cupcake is the best thing they have ever tasted is a pretty big motivator. It really gives me a huge sense of satisfaction knowing that armed with only a sweet tooth and pretty decent palate, I managed to create a food item this person adored. This is followed at a close second by the freedom and satisfaction of being your own boss.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
You HAVE to give props to Sprinkles cupcakes for kicking the whole thing off. They were the first to open a “cupcake only” retail store, with a very clean and high-brow image. I LOVE that they showed people that cupcakes don’t have to be synonymous with country kitsch shabby chic farmhouse decor. I’m sorry, but I don’t rate Magnolia. The story goes that their cupcakes were only produced because they had leftover batter from their basic butter cakes, and then of course the whole “Carrie eating a pink one” happened, and it went nuts. But, it was never the focus of their bakery, more of a happy accident i guess. On a local level, I actually don’t pay any attention to what my competitors are doing, because I don’t believe I’m the same as them. I’ve actually never even tasted a rival cupcake in Australia, because understanding how someone else’s tastes is not about to make me alter my own product.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [32] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
i want to be,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!When SSM Strikes!
[ 26 August 2008, 21:50 ]
I have a confession to make. I have been struck by SSM. As a consequence of that, my style quotient has been pretty low recently. You may think, ‘Oh, sure, whatever’, but allow me to explain.
I have been sleeping in a black merino wool singlet, a pair of my father’s thermal long johns, & a pair of socks. This is not so bad — I mean, it’s not super-sexy, but hey — & I would leave it at that. ...Except for the fact that I have been throwing a hoodie over the top, & a long black skirt over the bottom, & figuring that this makes it an outfit!
No, Gala, no! This does not make it an outfit! Especially when you add black Ugg boots into the mix, which are what presently adorn my tootsies! (Don’t worry, I haven’t left the house in them. Yet!) It’s a terrible situation, really. I’m allowing myself some small amount of leeway because (as previously mentioned) I’m living out of one ill-packed suitcase. But I should definitely be making more of an effort.
Yes, SSM has definitely got me in its deathly, vice-like grip. So, what is SSM? It stands for Seasonal Sartorial Malaise, & it’s a hideous beast!
Initially I thought this was something that really only applied to getting dressed in winter. It’s so cold that at some point, all you really care about is staying warm, & damn the consequences! But it happens in summer, too. By the time I left New York at the end of July, all I wore was my black slip & a pair of boots, sometimes with a sequinned bikini top underneath for modesty’s sake, but most often not. (I was popular at my local pizza place, though.)
Sure, at the start of the season, we’re all excited. We finally have the chance to wear our new boots/swimsuit/coat/shorts, & by jingo, we do! But halfway through the season, the thrill seems to wear off somewhat. We fall into a kind of seasonal uniform, we stop making the effort & everything gets a bit dull. We begin to hanker for warm or cold weather, fantasise about a blanket of snow or a pristine tropical beach, & life starts to drag.
The good news is that you can easily break out of SSM — the first step is to admit that SSM has you in its sights!
Say it with me, now!
“Hi, my name’s _______, & I am drowning in a sea of SSM!”
Now, the solution. I prescribe as many of the following as you see fit — immediately, if not sooner!
Find a reason to get dressed up
If all you’re doing is going to work, then coming home & watching movies in front of the fire/air conditioner until you pass out, you don’t have a lot of encouragement to get sassy. Your life may not be one big carnival of thrills, & the only thing written in your calendar might be “buy cat food”, but it doesn’t have to be that way if you don’t want it to!
What kind of thing would make you want to dress up? A night at the opera? A first date? A dinner with a bunch of your favourite people? Once you’ve established what kind of thing would enthuse you enough to make the effort, get to work on making it happen! Contact your friends, organise a meal. Book tickets to the opera online & mark it down in your diary. Start talking to that cute person & ask them out on a date! (If there are no cute people to be had in your immediate vicinity, get on OkCupid! Stat!) Google for weird, free, fun or avant garde events in your city, & start going to them!
Fling the doors of your wardrobe right open. Crank up the music. Grab things, try them on, hop around on one foot, hold dresses up against yourself & devise an outfit, the likes of which have never been seen before! Experiment with your wardrobe. Have fun with it! Try things that you don’t think will work. See what happens!
There’s nothing better than a fabulous night (or day) out — with a fabulous outfit to match — to make you feel amazing again. It’s just that sometimes we get locked into our daily routine, & forget that really, we can do anything we please! Grab that fact & make it your own. Surprise & delight yourself!
Clean out your wardrobe
Okay, I know this is a daunting task for many of us. It gives us The Fear. How will we ever possibly manage to claw our way through years of bargain hunting, pants which are distinctly the wrong size & old bridesmaids dresses? The answer is simple: indulge in a little Wardrobe Taming. Beat that bad boy into submission!
No one can really put together a show-stopping outfit when the first thing they see when they look in their closet is a shrunken t-shirt with a stain on the front, a pair of ripped pyjama pants & a coat from 6 seasons ago. Do yourself a favour, & strip your wardrobe down to its bare bones! As scary a concept as it is, it’s true that you actually look better when you have fewer things to choose from — this is a lesson I learned when I was living in New York. Keep the good quality items which fit you, & get rid of the rest!
I did this when I went back to Melbourne a month ago. All my earthly belongings now fit into six suitcases! Yes, it’s slightly terrifying — but I have been left with only the things I really love. It all fits, it’s all in good condition & it all suits me. I’m delighted (& I can’t wait to receive it)!
Oh, you. What are you waiting for? Stop reading! Go & tackle that closet of doom!
Get some inspiration
It’s difficult to feel inspired to create a sartorial masterpiece when you have no visual fodder to spur you on. This is something I’ve been dealing with in Wellington — I have none of my usual pictures around to look at, which makes it hard for me. (Visual stimulus is very important for me!) The good news, though, is that there are about a billion different places you can find inspiration from. Flickr is one of my favourite resources, & if you’re looking for fashion-specific stimulation, the infamous Wardrobe Remix, started by Tricia Royal (who is now with daughter — congratulations, cutie!), is an invaluable place to get new ideas.
Big magazine shops are magnificent, too. Foreign fashion magazines, design bibles & Teen Vogue all have their own charm & are fantastic for sparking your synapses. Buy a huge stack, cringe as you hand over your credit card, then go home & tear them up to make an inspiration board. Get messy with glue, a pair of scissors & a big roll of tape! Then hang it near your closet & feel free to add & subtract from it as you see fit — let it evolve as your taste does!
Build on the latest looks
I am not a huge advocate of trend-following, as you probably know. As a general rule, I think it is boring & the domain of amateurs. But sometimes looking at the trends & latest styles can give you a fresh new vision, which is totally priceless. If the fashion magazines are predicting forest green, expand on it — mix it with safari gear & animal print & a bone through your nose. If they say purple is “it”, make your own version of Willy Wonka’s velvet suit, & carry a lollipop as an accessory. Don’t ever follow it to the letter — be creative, excitable, a bon vivant. Use their predictions as a jumping-off point for new, bold, fabulously weird things.
Go shopping
There is no better way to break the shackles of SSM than with an amazing new piece in your wardrobe! How can you possibly feel bored or stale when you have a pair of duck-egg blue cowboy boots, a houndstooth cape or an enormous powdered wig begging to be worn?
One thing I would suggest is that you shop in places off the beaten path. You might have your usual haunts, & that’s okay, but walking into a new store & trying on something completely radical can change your entire sartorial direction! The purchase of an amazing cranberry sweater from Yohji Yamamoto or a pair of incredible boots can give all your old items a whole new lease on life. You don’t have to spend a billion dollars — be discerning, get a few great pieces & watch as they shake up all your dressing conventions!
Hold a clothing swap
Invite your friends over & trade clothes! It doesn’t have to be just clothing, either — it’s great fun to swap jewellery, bags, belts & barely-worn footwear. You could even make invitations, if you wanted to get really into it. You should be sure to specify that only good quality clean clothing will be accepted to swap.
I have been to some clothing swaps which were a bunch of people who didn’t know one another, & honestly, it doesn’t bring out the best in people. They bring along stained sweaters because they know no one will know who brought it, & then expect to make off with a Chanel handbag. It’s not pretty. The good thing about inviting your friends over is that the pool is so small that there is no social loafing!
Play good music, open a bottle of champagne & have a dress-up party. Then go home with your new things & enjoy!
Has you succumbed to SSM before? What pulled you out of it, & brought you back to sartorial life? Share your tips & tricks!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [68] Tags: aesthetic,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
productivity,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Life Coach!
[ 24 August 2008, 16:58 ]
Tim Brownson is a life coach with a lovely British accent, based in Florida. I recently found his blog, The Discomfort Zone, & really liked his approach — he’s humorous, lively & he has a really cute dog! We started talking via Twitter, & I thought he’d make an interesting addition to the new I Want To Be… series here on iCiNG — especially since life coaches commonly help people work out what they want to do with themselves!
Tell us about what you do.
I work with people one on one either in person or more often than not over the phone. My main job is to help them find the resources within themselves to help them get from where they are now to where they want to be. There is a common misconception that a coach just tells you what to do. A good one won’t, a good coach will empower you and help you realize that the only limitations in place are the ones that you have set on yourself.
How long ago did you start on this path?
I started seriously about 5 years ago although it was probably a couple of years prior to that when I started to realize that working 80 hours a week and driving all over the UK wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Initially, I started buying self development books on audio and thought “Wow this is really cool”. I then turned into a self development saddo, listening to anything and everything I could get my hands on and always expecting the next one to be THE one that turned my life around. Being in the car for so long each day was a great opportunity to learn and utilize what I had previously considered redundant time, although I probably took that to the other extreme.
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I started coaching ‘properly’ in early 05 and quit my job in the summer of that year. I was lucky enough to have a very supportive wife that also worked and we didn’t have massive debt, so whereas it was tough at the beginning as I started to build the practice it wasn’t so tough that I was tempted to go back into sales.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
Definitely small steps. I was just worn down by my job. The last full year in sales we spent $15k on vacations in an attempt to avoid the inevitable insanity from working too much. I started to realize that I was working my tits off trying to earn enough money to afford to pay for vacations to recover from working my tits off. Sounds ridiculous now, but at the time I was kinda slow on the uptake. Also I think like a lot of people, I was fearful about giving up a job that was paying me over $100k per annum for the unknown.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
Yes and no. I wish coaching were regulated because there are a lot of poor to average coaches out there. The fact is that in the UK and US anybody with a phone and the ability to talk can call themselves a coach. Regulation would force people to get accredited and reach a certain level of competence. Having said that, I have met many people with degrees that shouldn’t be allowed out without a guardian for their own safety. There are certain characteristics of being a good coach and although they definitely are learnable (is that even a word?), they also tend to be inherent in the good coaches. I have no doubt that there are good coaches with no qualifications and terrible coaches that have certificates lining their walls 4 deep, but it’s less likely.
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
Setting my own work schedule. If I want to play golf, I play golf. If I want to take a day off, I take a day off and if I want to roll around the floor and have a puppy nibble my ears, guess what? Yep, I roll around the floor and have a puppy nibble my ears.
What’s the worst thing?
Admin work I guess, but even that isn’t so bad. There are so few downsides that I’m always amazed more people don’t do it. I often get the security thing thrown at me. I understand that, but ask the people that worked at Enron, Arthur Anderson or who know work at any large corporation that is going through restructuring how secure they feel? Security is a myth, there’s no such thing in life. Everybody reading this will be dead in under 100 years, how secure is that?
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
90. I think it may even be higher than that, but the one thing that stops it nudging 100 is the fact that I want to do more public speaking and that is something I’m only just starting to get in to.
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
LMAO – A workaholic life coach, that wouldn’t look very good, would it? Nah, not at all. I used to be a bit like that, but now I have lots of disengaged time. The only problem I have is that so much of what I do doesn’t feel like work that sometimes my hours can creep up on me. I have a wife though that is always happy to tell me when that happens by smashing my Mac with a hammer and punching me squarely in the face.
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
Do it because you’d love to do it and not because you have had a few friends tell you you’d be good at it. Coaching professionally is not like having a chat over a cocktail with your best friend. Also, 80% of coaches earn less than $20k so probably don’t get into it because you see Tony Robbins and think you’d like a $50k smile, again you have to love it.
...How about number two?
Leave your ego at the door. It’s not your job to force your opinions, beliefs and values on somebody else. Learn what makes them tick and step into their world, don’t try and drag them into yours. Too many coaches set off with the belief that they know best for the client based on what is best for themselves.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
That’s a tough one and I honestly can’t think of that much. Maybe that it’s ok to turn clients away. There’s stuff I’m glad I didn’t know. If I’d known it would take me 2 years from moving to the US from the UK to actually making money I may have thought twice, so I’m really glad I was living in blissful ignorance as to how hard it would be. Having said that, I made some fundamental mistakes like not working on my marketing and sales because I thought I knew it all.
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
That coaching is serious business and coaches stand around stroking their chins and pondering the meaning of life in between hugging whales, knitting their own yoghurt and stroking trees. I guess some do, but I like to have a laugh and anyway, according to Douglas Adams the meaning of life is 42 and I have no reason to doubt him.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
Client feedback. The biggest buzz I get is either a client testimonial or a client saying something along the lines of “Wow, I never thought of it that way”. That can send me on a bit of an ego trip the like of which Eckhart Tolle couldn’t drag me back from for an hour or two ;-) Also, I have a goal to sell 1 million books and I’m only about 999,000 short.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
Tony Robbins because not only is he 6’7” but he rebranded NLP and took it to the masses. You seldom hear him speak of it, but that’s what he’s using a lot of the time. I know he’s looked down on by a lot of professional coaches because of his high profile showbizzy type approach, but he’s helped a great many people and that’s what coaching is all about. Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra are also personal favorites of mine as they take a spiritual route without forcing any one religion on people, they are the antithesis of fundamentalism. Within NLP, Richard Bandler is a genius in the true sense of the word. He can appear mad as a very mad hatter at times, but his ability to do rapid change work with clients is stunning and probably as good as anybody on the planet. The same goes for his NLP co-developer John Grinder in a much more understated way. As a showman, Derren Brown is the best. if you don’t know of him check him out on YouTube and go and buy his DVDs. I usually watch NLP/Hypnotist types and think “Yeh, now he’s anchoring and now he’s using a break state or working with submodalities etc” With Derren Brown I’m thinking “Was that an anchor he just set, now what the fuck’s he doing, he’s lost me” Can I say that??
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [26] Tags: inspiration,
i want to be,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Gala's Birthday Wishlist!
[ 23 August 2008, 20:59 ]
This is the birthday wishlist I would give to my boyfriend… if my boyfriend was the Sultan of Brunei! Here we go!
Lots of candles on a cupcake; bountiful photographs taken; macarons in a rainbow of colours (from Laduree); a bunny; a dress from Betsey Johnson; a wigpee!; a 33mm Dior Christal watch; a victorian gothic lolita mini skirt; Alexander McQueen lace-up boots; Temperley London mini kaleidoscope dress; pearl restraints from Kiki De Montparnasse; Rupert Sanderson Kit Kat boots; restraint tape (also from Kiki De Montparnasse); Femme Sud Honorable Mention wristlet; French lesson panty set (Kiki again); CHAPTER Candy Pop ring from Tokyomade; & an Agent Provocateur garter!
Other things which would be nice: a Swarovski crystal eyepatch from Gasoline Glamour; a rhinestone bra (shimmering ta-tas, ahoy!); the teach me a lesson ruler from Coco De Mer; a night in with fairy lights & kisses; lots of cute colourful knickers; Regan from MAC Flatiron to be my personal make-up artist; good black ink pens; a beautiful apartment in the West Village; a fabulous birthday party with my friends; peace on earth! Wink wink.
What do you want for your birthday?
P.S. Here’s my wishlist from last year!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [77] Tags: consumption,
gala,
inspiration,
life,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Richard Brautigan
[ 18 August 2008, 17:52 ]
Today is a Richard Brautigan sort of day.
From Wikipedia:
In 1984, at age 49, Richard Brautigan died of a self-inflicted .44 Magnum gunshot-wound to the head in his house in Bolinas, California, looking out the ocean through his window. The exact date of his death is unknown, but it is speculated that Brautigan ended his life on September 14, 1984 after talking to Marcia Clay, a former girlfriend, on the telephone. ... It is said he left a suicide note which read “Messy, isn’t it?”
Despite his troubled life, he was an incredible poet. Here are some of my favourite poems. You can read more here.
30 Cents, Two Transfers, Love
Thinking hard about you
I got on the bus
and paid 30 cents car fare
and asked the driver for two transfers
before discovering
that I was
alone.
Donner Party
Forsaken, fucking in the cold,
eating each other, lost
runny noses,
complaining all the time
like so many
people
that we know
I Feel Horrible. She Doesn’t
I feel horrible. She doesn’t
love me and I wander around
like a sewing machine
that’s just finished sewing
a turd to a garbage can lid.
It’s Raining In Love
I don’t know what it is,
but I distrust myself
when I start to like a girl
a lot.
Karma Repair Kit: Items 1-4
1. Get enough food to eat, and eat it.
2. Find a place to sleep where it is quiet, and sleep there.
3. Reduce intellectual and emotional noise until you reach the silence of yourself, and listen to it.
4.
Please
Do you think of me
as often
as I think
of you?
The Shenevertakesherwatchoff Poem
Because you always have a clock
strapped to your body, it’s natural
that I should think of you as the
correct time:
with your long blonde hair at 8:03,
and your pulse-lightning breasts at
11:17, and your rose-meow smile at 5:30,
I know I’m right.
The Beautiful Poem
I go to bed in Los Angeles thinking
about you.
Pissing a few moments ago
I looked down at my penis
affectionately.
Knowing it has been inside
you twice today makes me
feel beautiful.
3 A.M.
January 15, 1967
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [62] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Want To Be... A Tattoo Artist!
[ 17 August 2008, 17:44 ]
I recently received an email from a girl called Stina, saying that she would love to read more job guides on iCiNG! I’ve written about how to be a writer, how to be a blogger & how to get a job at Lush, but really, that’s about as much personal experience as I have. As Stina explained her idea, though, I realised that I know heaps of people with awesome jobs — people who love what they do, have talent & passion to burn, & are trail-blazing in their industry. So I started asking them for interviews. Here’s the first one, & it’s an interview with a friend of mine who has one of the coolest jobs I know of — Tim Kern, tattoo artist!
Let me know what you think of the series concept & if you have any requests (or if you have a fabulous career & want to volunteer yourself!), I’d love to hear from you!
Tim Kern is a tattoo artist working out of Tribulation Tattoo in New York City. He’s been tattooing for 13 years, & is an avid world traveller — his work regularly takes him from the East Coast to Japan & Europe. Along the way he’s picked up a bunch of awards, as well as working as a tattoo designer on a Charlie Kaufman movie & CSI: NY. He also happens to be completely awesome!
If you have any questions for Tim, leave them here & I’ll see what I can do about getting him to answer them!
Tell us about what you do.
I do tattoos mostly… I try to find time to paint and do other artwork, but it’s hard. Tattooing takes up a lot of my time and thought processes.
How long ago did you start on this path?
Which path? The left hand one? ;) I started tattooing when you were 12 years old… haha. Strange to think, but it’s true. (That’s 1995, by the way.)
How long were you doing it before you made it into your career or primary form of income?
I was apprenticing for about a year before I was allowed to tattoo anyone for money, so I kept my other job for a while. I was running a day center for homeless people, and doing graphic design occasionally. Once I was able to make money, it became my only job. I never looked back.
Did anything significant happen to get you to that point, or was it a series of small steps?
I think that you are constantly learning in life, so everything is a series of small steps. Occasionally broken up by great leaps of inspiration. I was tattooing for about 4 years before I stopped getting nervous at the beginning of every tattoo. At the beginning, you are just trying to do everything right. After a while, you can really start to express yourself with tattooing, but you have to be comfortable with the tools and techniques first.
Do you think official qualifications are important for someone entering your industry?
I think that an apprenticeship from a qualified tattoo artist is the best way to learn. I don’t still do everything the same way I was taught, but I think the experience was invaluable. There’s an awful lot of people who just buy a kit and start fucking people up, with no concept of cleanliness or preventing cross-contamination — that’s why health department regulation is important. Some cities/states go a bit overboard, but it’s definitely better to have regulations, than not. Keeps the scratchers at bay, to a degree at least.
What do you think is the best thing about working for yourself?
I love the fact that I don’t really have to answer to someone else. I know that seems obvious, but it really is a relief to not have to do something you think is stupid, just because the boss wants you to do it. I also can travel as much as I like, which is amazing. I love being able to see other countries. It really lets you know how diverse and amazing this world really is.
What’s the worst thing?
Probably the worst thing is that I have a hard time saying “no” to people. I need someone to tell people when I don’t have time for them. As a result, I end up working too much, and barely ever take days off. I need to be better about that.
Rate how happy you are with what you do out of 100 (100 being the best, 0 being devastatingly awful) on an average day.
I give myself an 86. I’m not always completely happy with what I do, but I’m doing my best to make it better all the time. I try to make what I’m doing the best tattoo I’ve done. If we don’t keep trying to improve ourselves and our work, what’s the point of doing it?
Would you call yourself a workaholic, & if so, are you alright with that? Do you think that’s normal for your industry?
I would probably describe myself as a workaholic. I think if you want to be good at anything, you run the risk of it being your whole life. Tattooing is definitely that way. I love tattooing, and most of my life revolves around it in some way. When I’m not actively tattooing, I’m often drawing for tattoos, or answering questions about tattoos. It’s an all-consuming thing…
What would your number one suggestion be for someone who wants to do what you do?
I would say to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons… not because you saw it on TV and thought it was cool, or because you think you can make tons of cash. Do it because you love tattoos, and you think you can actually contribute something. There are enough hack tattooers out there, fucking people up.
...How about number two?
I would say to work on your artwork. If you are serious about getting into the tattoo industry, you need to show a potential teacher that you are worth his time and trouble. He or she is much more likely to take you on as an apprentice, if you will be an asset to the community.
What do you wish you had known when you first started out?
I think it’s a constant learning process, so there’s a lot I still want to know. I would like to learn more about building and tuning machines. Technical stuff. I know a little now, but you can always know more… I am never satisfied…
Are there any major misconceptions about your job or industry?
I think there are lots of misconceptions, mostly due to the popularity of tattoo “reality” shows. You wouldn’t believe how many people think you can get an entire sleeve done in one day, because of how those shows are edited… I don’t really have anything against the shows, per se, since I have friends on one, but it does give people a rather unrealistic view of what can be accomplished in a sitting.
What motivates you to keep doing what you’re doing?
Pure stupidity, probably. Hahaha I don’t know… I love tattoos. I love having them, and I feel honored that people want to have my artwork on their body permanently. It’s kinda a scary idea, if I think about it too much… I am altering people for the rest of their lives. It’s quite a lot of responsibility. I’ve also made a lot of really great friends through tattooing, and I wouldn’t trade them for the highest paying job in the world.
Who do you look up to within your industry & why?
I admire a lot of the people who first influenced me when I was learning… and the ones that opened my eyes to new things since I started. Guy Aitchison, Marcus Pacheco, Paul Booth, Robert Hernandez... they first showed me that you can do something new and different with tattoos. That they could be art… I also really admire the work of Filip Leu, Shige, Xed LeHed, Nikko, Boris, Victor Portugal... just to name a few. There are so many astounding artists, it seems unfair that I have to leave anyone out… I’m sure there’s tons of amazing artists I haven’t even seen yet. I can’t wait till I do…
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [69] Tags: advice,
how to,
inspiration,
i want to be,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!10 Ways To Snap Yourself Out Of A Slump
[ 10 August 2008, 22:01 ]
Ah, yes. Feeling blue. The doldrums. Sad & listless. A feeling of ennui. Apathy & lassitude. Stagnation & tedium. Quelle drag! We all feel like this from time to time, & it can be hard to know what to do about it. Especially when all we really feel like doing is hanging out in our pyjamas (which are probably in desperate need of a wash), flicking between the channels, eating chocolate & pouting at ourselves in the mirror!
What you need is what I like to call a glee jolt! Something to snap you out of your sad, shuffling ways. A sweet little blip of excitement & joy to propel you forward into the next phase of your life. Here are some of my favourite ways to break the shackles of a slump. Let us know your suggestions in the comments!
Drive quickly!
Go for a strop around the block & see if it doesn’t make you feel better. Drive safely, of course, but put your foot down. There is really nothing like a quick blast of blood to the back of the brain to wake you up & get your adrenaline pumping! Watch the sights go whizzing by, feel the tyres bite into the road below you, crank up some of your favourite tunes & enjoy yourself. You don’t need to drive anywhere specific, though if I had my choice I would probably head towards the sea for an ice-cream. (If you don’t drive, have someone else be your personal carriage service.) Admittedly, I’m a bit of a speed demon. I have lots of great memories from childhood where I sat next to my father while he absolutely booted it down the road as he drove me to school, so this may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it certainly works for me!
Yell some positive affirmations
I know that the concept sounds lame, but honestly, they work. What we say or think out loud we start to believe, so you might as well feed your psyche with positive messages! In my experience, affirmations work best if what you say means something to you, if you say it loudly while looking in the mirror & if, at the same time, you beat on your chest like Tarzan! Yes, it sounds ridiculous, but trust me when I say that it amps you up! If you need to wear some tiger-print gear to really feel it, then damnit, just do it! Feel free to yodel & swing on vines if you have the urge, too!
Scare the hell out of yourself
We all reach a point of complacency & boredom at some stage. One of the best ways to deal with this is to do something which terrifies you. Maybe that means doing aerobics in public, taking an acting class or ditching your relationship which isn’t working, but whatever it is, you should do it! If not now, when?, & all that stuff. The best thing about doing something which scares you is that when you’ve actually done it, once the trembles have subsided & your heart-rate returns to normal, your body will inflate with a sense of accomplishment & general awesomeness. You will be amazed at how well you just did. You will feel gooooood! You will feel unconquerable! You will feel emboldened & fabulous & ready for serious, magnificent change! Those kinds of feelings are worth enduring the shakes for. Don’t be timid — be vivid! — & reap the rewards.
Get away from everything
If you’re feeling bogged down & sluggish, escaping your normal life can be a fantastic way to get back on track again. It feels so good to do something completely different for a while — it gives you an entirely new perspective on what your life is like & what you should do next! Your idea of what “getting away from it all” is will depend on your situation, & could range from a weekend on the ski slopes to a night dancing in Las Vegas to a week in a silent meditative retreat. I also often find that just the simple act of planning or dreaming about a holiday is enough to break me out of my doldrums, but maybe that’s a Virgo thing! Wink wink!
Spend time with an unusual person
Like Sark says, “Invite someone dangerous to tea”. Of course, your workmates & close friends are wonderful, but sometimes what you really need is someone to give you a bit of a shake-up. They don’t need to be an ex-con or someone with Problems (with a capital ‘P’), but someone with radical political ideas or a penchant for wearing wigs can stimulate your brain & get you feeling excited about life again. Conversations with people like that are fantastic; you never really know what they’re going to say next & they can give you all sorts of ideas that may never have struck you before. Don’t be afraid of new people — they might be just what you need.
Find some aesthetic stimulation
I think that mostly, the feeling of being in a slump comes from a lack of enthusiasm about what’s going on in your life. You might have a goal but perhaps you feel discouraged, or just a bit demotivated. I’m a very visual person so for me, having pictures which delight & thrill me is really important. I love to peg advertisements & photoshoots on string, but when I lived alone in Auckland, I had a wall behind my couch covered in photos of my friends & I having fun. If you’re in a city that doesn’t really turn your crank (like I was at the time), having a visual reminder that your life is actually pretty awesome is a great thing.
Start flirting
There’s nothing like a fledgling romance to make life shiny & new again! Oh, the excitement! The deciphering of text messages… the thrill of getting to know each other… the glee as you discuss it all endlessly with your best friend! You get to hold hands, share sweet fluttery kisses, have sleepovers & compose filthy emails — all valuable past-times! It doesn’t have to be an epic romance for it to be fun & worthwhile; even if it only lasts a couple of weeks, it’ll still be fun!
Dress in one colour
...But not black. It doesn’t count, you goth, you! Pick something bright & marvellous — like pink, purple, orange or blue — & go crazy! If your wardrobe isn’t comprehensive enough to make this happen, talk to some friends & see what you can borrow in those shades. Then make a day of it. Pile on all your pink/purple/orange/blue clothes & hit the town. Go to the supermarket. Walk the dog. Eat some cake. You’ll be gob-smacked by the response you get from the general public (honestly, they love pretty much anyone who takes sartorial risks) & being surrounded by all the bright colours will make you feel incredible.
Switch up your routine
Even the smallest change to your day-to-day life can make a huge difference to the way you think & feel. It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant either — though, of course, expensive & extravagant changes can be a lot of fun! Try something simple, like catching the train to work instead of the bus. Go out for dinner instead of ordering in. Visit your local pool after work & have a spa. Trade books for television or vice versa. Take a French class or paint your bedroom. Just make little tweaks, & see how they impact your general happiness.
Exercise
This one gets mentioned last because it makes an appearance on pretty much every self-improvement list ever published on the internet, & I know that gets tired. But hey, the reason exercise gets name-dropped with such ferocity is because… wait for it… it works! Okay, so you don’t have to go for a run if you don’t want to. Make it enjoyable! Try bunny-hopping across your living room, dancing the can-can, lying a broom across two chairs & doing the limbo underneath it, doing some contortion or climbing some trees. & if you simply cannot find something which gets your heart-rate up that you enjoy, bribe yourself to do it by buying yourself a chocolate bar afterwards!
Bonus ideas
Hunt for treasures in vintage stores. Find a hammock. Throw yourself an unbirthday party (complete with cake, candles & alcohol). Buy fireworks. Hire a fancy dress costume & wear it to your friend’s house. Record your lover snoring. Make a video of you impersonating a celebrity. Write long love letters. Sleep upside down. Refuse to get dressed. Start a collection of false eyelashes. Re-write all your social networking profiles. Stretch. Eat flowers.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [89] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
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productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Andy Warhol's Beauty Tips
[ 5 August 2008, 16:10 ]
A good plain look is my favorite look. If I didn’t want to look so “bad,” I would want to look “plain.” That would be my next choice.
Weight isn’t important the way the magazines make you think it is. I know a girl who just looks at her face in the medicine cabinet mirror & never looks below her shoulders, & she’s four or five hundred pounds but she doesn’t see all that, she just sees a beautiful face & therefore she thinks she’s a beauty. & therefore I think she’s a beauty, too, because I usually accept people on the basis of their self-images, because their self-images have more to do with the way they think than their objective-images do. Maybe she’s six hundred pounds, who knows. If she doesn’t care, I don’t.
There should be a lot of new girls in town, & there always are.
If you’re naturally pale, you should put on a lot of blush-on to compensate. But if you’ve got a big nose, just play it up, & if you have a pimple, put on the pimple cream in a way that will make it really stand out — “There! I use pimple cream!” There is a difference.
Beauty really has to do with the way a person carries it off. When you see “beauty” it has to do with the place, with what they’re wearing, what they’re standing next to, what closet they’re coming down the stairs from.
Sometimes something can look beautiful just because it’s different in some way from the other things around it. One red petunia in a window box will look very beautiful if all the rest of them are white, & vice-versa.
When you’re in Sweden & you see beautiful person after beautiful person & you finally don’t even turn around to look because you know the next person you see will be just as beautiful as the one you didn’t bother to turn around to look at — in a place like that you can get so bored that when you see a person who’s not beautiful, they look very beautiful to you because they break the beautiful monotony.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [69] Tags: aesthetic,
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quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 30th July 2008
[ 30 July 2008, 00:49 ]
/ / / Sit on your kitchen table, set up your camera, & take photographs of yourself cutting up your stockings.
Find a fabulous scarf & claim it as your sartorial trademark.
Change your passwords to words which make you smile.
Have your lover bind your hands & feed you a cupcake. Bonus points if you film it. (Thanks to Violet Blue for this idea which has never quite left me!)
Sing at inappropriate moments.
Bake a cake. Then use frosting to write something pornographic or risqué on the top. I call this a “porn cake”. The world doesn’t have enough porn cakes!
Take raunchy photobooth pictures with a friend.
Spend some alone time on the swings in a playground.
Devote yourself to having at least one orgasm a day!
Kiss.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [60] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Have A Summer Romance (With Yourself)
[ 23 July 2008, 11:37 ]
Ah, summer. Big blue skies, singing birds, parties on the beach & tiny outfits. Is it any wonder that so many people are in the mood for lurve?
The problem, of course, is that we can’t always find someone worthy of our affections. Maybe they already have a girlfriend, maybe they’re always busy working, or maybe you run laps around them intellectually. All of these things put a damper on the idea of a summer romance! Even then, sometimes people are disappointing, or not as romantic as you’d hope, or they don’t share your fervour for eating cheese in treehouses. & I mean, honestly, a summer romance isn’t a summer romance without cheese in a treehouse. So I propose that you use all your loved-up energy on someone much more deserving.
You!
You knew that was coming, huh? Regardless, here are my suggestions to have a rollicking good time summer romance with yourself!
Court yourself
The first days of fresh love are delightful & tender. You get to see the absolute best parts of whoever it is you’re seeing — such a lovely thing! Maybe it’s time to start awakening to your most fabulous features, too, & to start being gentle with yourself, regardless of the situation. Think of yourself as a new lover. Think about how supportive & sweet you would be if your new squeeze was going through a hard time, & then make an effort to extend that kind of love & grace to yourself.
Come on, now. Be good to you. If you won’t, who will?
Listen to yourself
Relationships often involve a lot of listening, especially as you’re getting to know the object of your affections. I know you’re thinking, ‘This is all well & good, but if it’s just me, what do I have to listen to?!’
The answer is that you need to start listening to yourself. Your actual, true, authentic, genuine, uncensored self. That voice which tells you whether you should do this or that. Not the rational, logical voice which takes over when we’re trying to convince ourselves of something, but the voice that speaks from a place of instinct & intuition.
It’s amazing, you know. We each have all the answers we need inside us at all times. We may think we need to ask other people, or read a book, or ask Google, but really, when it comes to what we should do about a given situation, we already know. Sometimes I like to remind myself of this by visualising my belly as a little all-encompassing galaxy, swirling with stars & question marks & answers & big, blinking exclamation points.
So make an effort to listen to your intuition. When it flashes at you — & it does, several times a day! — start paying attention. Do what it tells you, & see if it improves your life. (It will!)
Learn to compromise
This goes hand-in-hand with the point I made under ‘Court yourself’, which is about being good to yourself. That means that if you have a massive work-load but you’re exhausted & sick, you need to learn to put yourself (& your health) first. Similarly, if you’re feeling depressed & withdrawn but your friends have invited you to go out, you should probably accept their invitation. It’s all about doing what will make you feel better in the long-run.
Take sweet pictures
Yes! Romantic relics! A good photobooth strip is worth a lot. While normally you would pile into a photobooth with your beloved, have a smooch & wait for the photos to come out the other side, this time you have to go it alone. But don’t be afraid! Taking photos alone is funnnn! Dress up, blow kisses into the camera, dance around, pull silly faces, & when you’re done, put the pictures somewhere prominent so you can remind yourself how gorgeous you are on a regular basis!
Go out on dates
The best thing about romancing yourself is that you can go on dates that no one else could ever possibly understand. Want to check out the train museum, spend hours in the bakery supply store, stare at skateboards or attend a seminar on podiatry? You can, & you don’t have to convince anyone else to go along with you! Get dressed up, take yourself out & have a damn good time.
Buy yourself flowers, too. They’re an important part of the process.
Write yourself love letters
Love letters, or loved-up communique in general, is one of the best parts of being involved in a romance. It gives you something real, like a record of what’s happened, to hold, clutch to your chest, pore over obsessively (don’t tell me you haven’t done it!), & whatnot. Passionate letters are like the souvenirs of love.
If you’re having a summer romance with yourself, you might feel like this is just an arena of the lurve game you’re going to miss out on. But it doesn’t have to be that way! You can write yourself love letters — & they will probably ultimately have more meaning to you than anything someone else could write.
What kind of thing am I talking about? Well, they could range from a series of amorous haiku to something snappier, like, Hey Gala, I noticed your ass is looking mighty shapely these days. Kudos!
They don’t have to be enormous, long-winded, flowery pieces of prose — you can keep them short & sweet & have them be just as effective. Even a couple of sentences is better than nothing. Make it part of your regular routine, a daily ritual if you can. Write one on a Post It during your lunch break, scrawl some endearing words in your journal before bed, rearrange the letter magnets on the fridge… Do it however you like, just make sure it happens!
Those are my ideas. How will you romance yourself this season?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [52] Tags: how to,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Gala's Guide To NYC Version 1.0
[ 22 July 2008, 20:52 ]
Here are some of my favourite things about New York City… just a few odds & ends I have discovered in my 3 months here. Hopefully, if you come to the city, this list will provide you with some jumping-off points & ideas to keep you busy! (Of course, there will be more to come when I actually live here… squeal! On that note, sorry if things are a little slow around here — I leave in less than a week & have a ‘to do’ list as long as my arm!)
Ultimate NYC resources
NY Magazine, Village Voice & Time Out New York should be your first online ports of call for finding things to do & events in the city. Craigslist is great for buying or selling furniture, finding a job or an apartment, or just spending hours on the missed connections pages! Yelp.com has saved my life — I don’t know how I would have ever found anything in New York without it. It’s a huge peer review site, where people talk about customer service in shops, food quality at restaurants, whether this or that cafe has wifi, & pretty much anything else you can think of. It is my holy grail. I love it. Another magnificent resource is HopStop, which will help you find your way from A to Z using public transport.
Best neighbourhood: West Village
Yes, I am totally biased, because this is where I stayed… but I adore it. It’s clean & quaint, as well as beautiful & charming, & while it isn’t party central (a total blessing when you’re trying to sleep), there are still plenty of people around — & places open — late at night. It’s the sort of area where, when you say where you live, people always tell you how fortunate you are. I really think it’s the cream of the crop, without the boredom factor of the Upper East Side & the geriatric factor of Gramercy Park (both lovely areas but, in my opinion, suffering from a chronic lack of charisma).
What’s the West Village like? Well, there’s a massive gay population, which means lots of same-sex couples holding hands & kissing in the middle of the street. It makes me very happy & is a definite perk of living here. There are also way, wayyy more sex shops than you could ever possibly visit. There’s a little piazza just off 6th Avenue called Father Demo Square with a fountain in the middle, surrounded by flowers. At about 4pm, this odd man rolls his piano into the middle of the square — I have no idea where he comes from — & plays songs until about 11 at night. People flock to the square with their slices of pizza, hot dogs, bagels or boxes of noodles, sit on the seats & soak up the atmosphere. It’s one of my favourite places in the village.
One of the best things, though, seems minor but really isn’t. The West Village doesn’t appear to suffer from the same olfactory injustices as many other neighbourhoods. You see, a lot of people have the unfortunate belief that New York City is their personal bathroom, which can get pretty disgusting in summer. The West Village, however, for the most part, is delightfully non-pee-scented. Celebrate good times come on!
Essential accommodation asset: Double-glazing
If you’re living on or near a busy street, which, let’s face it, is pretty likely, double-glazed windows will make you a very happy camper. The owners of the place I’m in told me it has double-glazing, but even so, it gets pretty loud in here. Thankfully, I can sleep through anything, but if you can’t, make sure you check it out before you rent it. Don’t just take what they say at face value — actually stand there & listen. Cabs in NYC have absolutely no regard for the sanctity of sleep, & will blare their horns at 3am if they feel the need. You may want to invest in earplugs.
Best way to find a home: Craigslist
The place I am staying in at the moment — which I love & think is gorgeous — is the first place I looked at from Craigslist. Even better, they offered it to me straight off the bat. Pretty good, huh? You can find beautiful places to live on Craigslist. Don’t believe what brokers may tell you about Craigslist being full of scams — they just want you to use their service & pay them a fat commission! — but as with most things in NYC, you have to do the legwork & act quickly.
Hip tourist accessory: NYC Moleskine
(Yes, hip tourist accessories exist!) I love my city Moleskine & carried it around constantly for the first couple of weeks I was here. It’s packed with maps in the front & is great for getting to know the lay of the land. It just looks like a notebook, so you can pretend that you’re deep in thought, composing a sonnet — not trying to work out how to get to Barney’s! It’s so much better than dawdling on a street corner with an enormous map, a baseball cap & white sneakers — there’s nothing cool about that!
Best make-up artist: Regan at MAC Flatiron
You’ve all heard me talk about him before… Regan is the boy wonder who did my make-up for the Patricia Field & Louis Vuitton parties, & to whom I am eternally grateful! He knows what he is doing — he did Richie Rich’s make-up for the MAC/Heatherette launch — & he listens to what you say & will take steps to make sure it looks the way you like it. I cannot recommend him highly enough, I adore him! So go, flee, & let him turn you into a masterpiece!
Best tanning experience: Tamar at Gotham Glow
It’s not every day that a woman strolls into your living room, puts up a tent & then sprays your naked body with an airbrush, but given how good it looks, I almost wish it was! She uses a solution made of beets, brown sugar & DHA which gives you plenty of colour but won’t stain the bedsheets. It’s easy to see why she has a slew of celebrity clients — she puts you totally at ease, she uses an awesome muscle-enhancing technique (which makes you look f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s) & she is in & out of your place in less than 30 minutes. Perfect.
Best tattoo artist: Tim Kern at Tribulation Tattoo
Yes, I am totally biased because he has made my arms look beautiful, but surely that’s the point! Tim works out of Tribulation Tattoo in the East Village (directly opposite a church — awesome, right?), a little red shop made up of three artists. This is not one of those places where you walk in, choose something off the wall & walk out again an hour later with a demented-looking Tweety bird on your shoulder. They only do custom work, which of course means you end up with something amazing & unique. I am completely delighted with all the work Tim has done for me, & after watching him fix up an unsatisfying tattoo by someone in New Zealand, I am also totally devoted! I’ve learned my lesson! I will never go anywhere else!
Best shoe department: Bergdorf Goodman
Expensive? Why, yes! But the range — & the service — cannot be surpassed. Their sale area blows my mind & they are never slow to approach & ask if they can help me with anything. Honestly, I just love Bergdorfs & I am happy to give them all my shoe business for as long as I am in New York. I think all their sales staff are great, but I especially like Thomas — he has an afro, wears glasses, & has his entire back tattooed. He’s also got style & charm for days!
Most valued possession: Foot bath
This city’s made for walking, & that’s just what you’ll do… One of these days this city’s gonna walk all over you. No joke, people walk like mad here. Yeah, the subway is cheap & convenient, & so are cabs, but New York is so fabulous that often you’ll want to be on the street. Or you’ll look at something on a map & think, ‘Oh, it’s not so far!’ Wrong! It is always further than you expect! An estimated 10 minute walk is usually somewhere closer to 20 or 25 minutes, & if you’re not wearing the right shoes, you will suffer! I cannot tell you the number of times I have dragged myself home & had to lie down just to give my feet a rest. I think the ultimate solution to this is a foot bath. One of those vibrating ones. You can buy them for nothing at Duane Reede, & it will make you feel like a new person.
Best place for froofy dresses: Geminola
Notice that I didn’t say cheap froofy dresses… but then, beautiful, frothy, sugar-flower-hued dresses often aren’t. If you have a bit of cash & you want something utterly cupcakey & delightful, Geminola is the place for you. It’s a small shop with some pieces from various designers, but mostly what goes on there is vintage dress mania. The owner takes things from all around the world — a piece of ribbon from Paris, a crinoline from Tennessee, some lace from London — & puts them together to make something utterly unique & exquisitely beautiful. To give you an idea: do you remember the dress Carrie is wearing in the last episode of Sex & The City, where she’s crouching on the floor of the hotel lobby, trying to find something? That dress came from Geminola. So now you know. (You should go there.)
Best pizza: Joe’s Pizza
My closest two pizza places are Joe’s Pizza & Bleecker Street Pizza. Both places have been given ample awards, but I think Joe’s is the best. Their pizza is truly awesome. I adore it. I went through a phase of eating two pieces a day for at least one consecutive week. Yum. While neither joint offers exceptional customer service, the creepy old guy at Bleecker Street looks like he is undressing you with his eyes, while the younger guys at Joe’s instead treat you with terminal indifference. I prefer the latter. The older guy at Joe’s, however, winks at me, calls me “beautiful” & offered to give me a job there so I could stay in the country, so I know where my alliances lie! I’m not silly!
It’s incredibly greasy, but hey, you’re not eating this stuff for your health! If you’ve never eaten New York pizza before, know this: they sell it to you in enormous slices on paper plates. Grab some napkins. The standard way of eating it is to fold it in half across the crust. Tip it backwards so that the excess grease drips off onto your plate… & enjoy!
Best cupcakes: Sugar Sweet Sunshine
I have done the leg-work. Oh yes. New York’s cupcake bakeries have had me on my knees for months now. I have sampled cupcakes from Magnolia (word to the wise: don’t do it), Buttercup, Crumbs, Billy’s Bakery & Sugar Sweet Sunshine, small vegan cafes & markets, as well as eating way, way too many at the annual Cupcakes Take The Cake picnic in Central Park a month or so ago. But I know where the best cupcakes are. Yes, I do. Sugar Sweet Sunshine. Okay, so I don’t like the name. I don’t like the location much, either — it is a pretty decent walk from my place, often a walk I can’t really be bothered making. But their cupcakes… oh their cupcakes… they draw me back. Seriously, their cupcakes are brilliant. They are also — in a shocking twist of fate — cheap. When I bought five (haha, yes, really) & the girl on the other side of the counter said “Seven dollars”, I thought I had misheard her. But I had not. I recommend their Red Velvet (awesomely good), Ooey Gooey & Lemon Yummy. Writing this has made me hungry, maybe I will have to swing by later! Dear Sugar Sweet Sunshine, I love you, always forever! Ahhhh!
Best raw food treats: Pure Juice & Takeaway
Pure Food & Takeaway is a teeny little shop attached to the back of the famous Pure Food & Wine, a huge gourmet raw food restaurant. It’s an incredible place to grab a salad or a juice, snack on a raw mallomar (one of my favourites) or, even better, buy an enormous tub of raw ice-cream & devour it in one sitting. (I like the almond butter cup flavour, if you’re interested.) You also meet the coolest people standing on line. Raw guru & speaker, Matt Monarch, was in front of me the other week — we hugged & talked about a mutual friend — & it’s also where I met my friend Ise, stylist to the stars. Yay!
Best greasy vegetarian food: Red Bamboo
What can I say, other than “yum”? Nubby & I went here for an amazing meal which has completely kept me going back for more. Their roti bread is out of this world & their selection of fake meats & incredible soy concoctions is truly formidable (said in French accent please!). It is cheap & delicious & the staff are super-friendly. We liked it so much that we want them to cater our wedding! (P.S. If Red Bamboo is packed out, go down a couple of doors to Vegetarian Paradise. They share the same kitchen!)
Best coffee: Joe – The Art Of Coffee
Good coffee. Cute staff. Sometimes Amy Sedaris bakes cupcakes & sells them here. It’s small but charming & a local haunt of many writers (or so it seems). I was introduced to this place by No Impact Man, for which I am eternally grateful.
Best place for a midnight snack: French Roast
My friend Ise introduced me to this place after a very long evening in Brooklyn. We showed up at about 4am, ate amazing sandwiches & shared a bowl of fries. (We were also faux-seduced by one of the best magicians I have ever seen.) I have since been back several times, always after midnight. Did you know you can order escargot around the clock? Well, you can. French Roast is fantastic — it’s open 24 hours, the decor is totally European bistro style, the lighting is dim & flattering & they are more than happy to feed you & your friends whatever you might feel like at 2am. The coffee is excellent, & Nubby says their french toast is out of this world, too.
Best place to go for a decadent night out: The Box
The Box is one of my absolute, hands down favourite places in New York City. It is amazing, & even though I’ve been way more than anyone needs to (I think I’ve seen four or five shows in two months), I still adore it & it still makes me coo, my jaw drop & my eyes bug out every time. What happens there? Well, it’s a variety show… a raunchy variety show that will have you by turns delighted & appalled. It’s good for the soul, I think. I recommend the late show — it is more exciting & raucous than the dinner show (which is still, of course, wonderful). If you need any further encouragement, do you remember the episode of Gossip Girl where Blair strips on the stage of a burlesque club, to be later ravaged by Chuck in his limousine? That was shot at The Box.
Best high-end sex store: Kiki de Montparnasse
Hot pink duct tape? Pearl restraints? 24k gold handcuffs? Black leather elbow-length fingerless gloves? Cute underpants printed with lewd French phrases? Oh, Kiki… my heart. Oh Kiki, you have outdone yourself. I love you even more than Agent Provocateur (which is quite a lot). Now, of course, there are a lot of high-end erotic shops selling toys & equipment these days, & many of them do it very well. But while Babeland & its ilk make sex fun, friendly & approachable, Kiki de Montparnasse actually makes sex sexy. There are no fluorescent lights or invitations to eager self-exploratory g-spot workshops here. No, this is a very different beast.
The boutique is dark & smells delicious. The girls in the shop — who tend to be on the gorgeous side — aren’t wearing much, but they look sultry & hot & minxy, like the kind of girls who might just close the shop early & pull you onto the bed at the back of the shop with little warning. The items they sell, which are really more objets d’art than anything else, are laid out with the attention they deserve (& honestly, at these prices, one would hope as much). Their lingerie is amazing, I adore pretty much all of it. It’s a bit edgier than what you’ll find down the road at Agent Provocateur, & much more appealing.
Best thing to find: A rooftop
Yeah, of course, a rooftop in any city is pretty great. I am an ardent fan of the rooftop scene in Melbourne, for example. But New York rooftops are a totally different kettle of fish. I can’t really explain it, but they are basically the best thing ever. My rooftop gives me a lot of joy. If you don’t have a rooftop on your building that you can access, start asking the people you meet. Someone will have one, I promise, & then all you need to do is go up there, take your sunglasses & some drinks, & enjoy yourself. Bliss.
Best view of Manhattan: The Brooklyn Bridge
Drive it, walk it, catch a train across it — it doesn’t matter, just do it. Preferably at night, or at the very least, sunset. The view is exhilirating. Every time I see it, I get really excited!
Having said all this, here are some things to avoid:
Catching a cab from about 9pm on Thursday night (it’s impossible); leaving food around or in a bin without a lid on it (remember: the rats & cockroaches were here first!); expecting exceptional customer service at Duane Reede or CVS (it’s never going to happen); shopping on the weekend (NYC is always busy but the weekend is particularly painful); the Hard Rock Cafe (I shouldn’t have to tell you but just in case, don’t even go for irony’s sake!); Times Square (go once, & never again), & opening your mouth if you feel rain droplets (it is probably an air-conditioning unit above you, dripping!).
So, what are your favourite things to do in NYC? Spill the beans!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [67] Tags: gala,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 21st July 2008
[ 21 July 2008, 13:18 ]
Buy a dream dictionary & use it to decode your subconscious. Make secret scribblings!
Learn to love Otis Redding. (My favourite tracks are Try A Little Tenderness, A Change Is Gonna Come & These Arms Of Mine).
Sneak onto a rooftop at night, lie down & drink iced tea. Enjoy the view & twinkling lights.
Have someone else feed you berries.
Kiss your lover’s toes.
Make a list of your favourite things about the person sitting nearest to you. Bonus points if you give it to them anonymously!
Listen to this song on repeat:
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [36] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 16th July 2008
[ 16 July 2008, 10:08 ]
Communicate. Fearlessly. Anyone who is worth it will make you feel good about doing so.
Wake up early, drink a big glass of orange juice, & watch as the city comes to life around you.
Learn how to fold paper planes. (Write wishes inside them.)
Stick confetti hearts all over your face. Leave the house.
When your favourite shops go into sale, go inside & make polite conversation with the people working there. Ask them when the sale started… then ask if the prices are going to drop any further. (Last week I went into Reiss, who were in sale, & pulled this stunt myself. The guy working there told me prices would drop by another 30-40% in the next 7 days!)
Dream up an alter-ego, a name & a faux-signature for yourself. Make it fabulous & dramatic.
Take photos of yourself next time you feel ecstatic, regardless of where you are or how goofy you look!
Make heart-shaped cookies.
Choose a magnificent colour of ink. Midnight blue? Shocking pink? Minty green? Stock up, & use only that from now on.
Take a nap.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [50] Tags: inspiration,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!50 Things To Do Before Winter Ends
[ 13 July 2008, 23:12 ]
Freezing your toosh off? Feeling the urge to just sit around & grizzle about the weather? Shape up, cutie! Try doing these instead!
Find yourself a perfect red lipstick
Decorate your bedroom with fairy lights
Buy yourself an amazing bathrobe to lounge in
Start wearing multiple pairs of ripped stockings layered over each other
Bundle up & go for long night-time walks with someone cute
Drink more juice
Learn how to knit & make yourself an assortment of fabulous hats & scarves
Cultivate armpit hair (I think it’s kind of cute)
Stick jewels all over your library card
Prepare an enormous feast for your closest friends
Spend an entire weekend watching a box set of your favourite show
Make an effort to get out of the house every Sunday & go for a big breakfast
Hold hands with someone while you sleep
Wear a coat with a huge collar & pretend you’re a superhero in disguise
Guard against the dreaded lizard-skin by moisturising regularly!
Perfect a hot chocolate recipe
Tell ghost stories around a crackling fire
Buy a pair of hilarious slippers (preferably with a face on!)
Smile all the way to work — people will either smile back or think you’re mental. Either way, what bliss!
Cultivate a fabulous stocking collection & use them to dress up simple outfits
Go to the ballet
Yawn as often as you like
Give up smoking (huddling in the rain is no fun)
Procure a pair of ultra-cute mittens on a string
Allow yourself lots of quiet, dimly-lit alone time
Buy watercolours & a Moleskine notebook & go wild
Eat mashed potatoes
Carry a hot water bottle everywhere (I have a turquoise one which matches a lot of my clothing…)
Fall asleep to The Beatles
Dress up like a Eurotrash snow bunny
Make a fort
Read trashy novels in bed
Write long letters to your favourite people (even if they live nearby)
Buy an incredible umbrella
Choreograph dances in your living room to stay warm!
Wear ruffle-butt panties
Book a session in an isolation tank
Fill a huge glass jar in your living room with sweets
Wear a hoodie (with the hood pulled up) to sleep in
Buy an enormous fluffy rug
Imagine yourself sleeping on a big cloud
Reclaim old personality traits which have been trampled into oblivion
Find yourself a magical talisman
Listen to Fiona Apple & Elliott Smith over & over until you know all the words
Make a huge bowl of vegetarian chilli
Go ski-ing, stay in a chalet & wear an elaborate knitted jersey!
Watch Charlie Chaplin movies
Pick a new hero
Wear leg-warmers
Think about where you would like to spend your next winter!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [42] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!50 Things To Do Before Summer Ends
[ 13 July 2008, 14:40 ]
Feeling bored? Does the hot weather have you lethargic & listless? Try keeping yourself occupied with one (or several) of the following!
Buy a stack of old MAD magazines from a second-hand bookshop & read them in the sun
Take lots of photos of you & your friends enjoying the weather
Wear something totally inappropriate & go dancing
Drink cocktails & listen to Duffy
Make at least one new friend
Lie in bed in the morning, with the windows open & good music playing loudly
Take an outdoor yoga class
Eat black cherries
Flirt with someone of the same sex
Have a picnic in a tree
Buy an inflatable paddling pool, lie in it & take self-portraits
Take a dog for a walk (if you don’t have one, borrow someone else’s!)
Trust your intuition
Climb on a jungle-gym
Explore a new area — even if it’s just another neighbourhood
Kiss someone new
Choose a project to start working on over winter
Get a deluxe spa pedicure
Buy a hula-hoop & start using it!
Throw a party in celebration of how fabulous you are
Go to the beach & build a sand-castle
Stock up on jangly bracelets at a flea market
Start a journal
Have a slumber party with a friend & go out for breakfast in the morning
Go to a rooftop party
Learn some words in another language
Make some choices which make you nervous
Go for a bike ride with your best friend
Get a massage which makes you feel as if your body’s melting
Buy a fabulous sun-hat
Visit the tourist attractions in your own city
Hack up an old pair of jeans into shorts
Have an Elton John singalong (BYO crazy glasses)
Learn to appreciate good guitar players
Do something that your parents or friends disapprove of
Take the vacation days you have owing
Take an art class
Spend some quality alone time in saucy underwear
Carry a tiny water-gun in your purse
Go skinny-dipping
Start to believe that you can truly have whatever you want
Make a commitment to wearing heels at least one day a week
Try every different bottled iced tea at your local shop
Lie around in the grass with your sunglasses & a pair of headphones on
Go roller-skating
Take a flower-arranging class
Keep a secret
Swear off drama
Reconnect with your old friends
Read this & be inspired!
(My antipodean darlings! I have not forgotten about you! The winter list is coming soon! Kisses!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [53] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 10 July 2008, 14:08 ]
Nubby Twiglet — Cutest girl on the planet? I would say, almost certainly. If not, she’s a very strong contender. It is so fabulous to meet her after having known her online for years, & even more fabulous to realise how freakishly similar we are! It has been so cool to just sit around & compare notes. But we haven’t had a lot of time to just sit, we’ve been busy! Oh, the things we have done… decadent art deco parties, treehouses inside art collectives, talking in Ukrainian diners until 3am, photo sessions on rooftops, nestling into private boxes at hilariously elitist establishments, giving gay marriage serious consideration & passing out unconscious with the air-conditioning going full blast. I love her. I looooooove her. Also, sometimes she draws on her face by mistake. Le swoon! She just said, “Finally, I found my Virgo soul mate! & we’re getting married in Hawaii!” Oh so cute. Too much cute to handle. I can’t wait wait waaaaait until we can spend more time together. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are not enough exclamation points in the whole world.
Journalling — Oooooh yes. I am journalling up a storm! I have finally started to put my black soft-cover unlined Moleskine to use. I like to fold the cover back, lean on a hardback book & hold my black pen aloft before I start scribbling. I woke up on Sunday morning with a strong urge to write in my book before I did anything else, & it has been the same every day since then. Now I remember why I used to love doing this. I used to be an obsessive journaller — it was part of my daily routine (& made my commute to work on the bus much less painful, if not downright enjoyable!), & it helped me process a lot of what I was going through. Anyway, all this to say, I LOVE writing with ink on paper, I LOVE filling up pages, & I love the fact that I am taking time to do it — it feels like a really positive step & an affirmation of my commitment to be good to myself.
Entourage — I used to criticise my mother (who has always owned her own businesses) for coming home after work & watching television. I was a self-righteous teenager, oh yes. “Why don’t you read a book?!?” I would exclaim. But you know what? Now that I am in the same position, of working until I feel like I will fall over, sometimes I just need to turn my brain off. Really, off. No thinking allowed. Meditation is cool & everything, but sometimes you don’t want to concentrate on the tip of your nose. So, the best way to do that, for me — unfortunately — is by watching television. Entourage is my new thing. Adrien what’s-his-face is cute. It makes me laugh. I recommend it.
Everything happening for a reason — Sometimes things don’t go to plan, or are difficult or weird. But in my experience, it always works out for the better. I love seeing this demonstrated in my daily life. It fills me with sheer delight! Delight, I tell you… delight!
Sparkly pens — I found a bunch of incredible sparkly pens in a stationery shop the other day & it has whipped me into an ink-fuelled frenzy! I’ve been scrawling postcards, using them on everything & going mad. They are called “Gelly Roll” & I bought two purple (deep sparkly violet & a plain indigo), two blue (dark midnight sparkly & sky sparkly) & one pink, which is more like a fabulous deep raspberry with silver irridescence. Yum. I want to colour my entire body with them, like in that Amanda Lepore commercial (NSFW!) where she covers herself with MAC lipstick. I am a total pen nerd, but I do love them so.
Secret plans! Plotting with various people over big glasses of water & insane meals of every stripe. I keep meeting fantastic people who believe in what I’m doing & want to help me, & it is mind-blowing & magnificent. I am so, so thankful & happy & elated by this life. Honestly.
Honourable mentions: Nicole Atkins (her album Neptune City is on heavy rotation); A-Trak feat. Lupe Fiasco – Mastered; Molly Crabapple & The Box; talking to my friend Jennie in New Zealand on the phone for over two hours & laughing uproariously; fresh juice (my new favourite is pomegranate, apple, orange & spinach — which you can’t taste!); Duffy; Elton John; Kiki de Montparnasse (an upscale erotic & lingerie shop, where they sell duct tape in a range of colours… yes!); lesbian bars; this re-cap of the Sweet Valley High board game!; clunking up & down 5 sets of stairs every day in 5-inch (Nubby measured them!) platforms (buns of steel, bunnnnns of steeeeeeel!); text message marathons; talking to my mother as I walk home at 3am; $1400 phone bills (not mine, thankfully!); Atmosphere (& Jake!)...
...& this photo.
Today is super-special because we have a guest TiLT! You guessed it… here’s Miss Nubby’s list! (Yay!)
Walking through Manhattan at 4am & hearing birds chirping
24 hour cafes
Late night photoshoots on rooftops overlooking the city
Buying Marc Jacobs key-chains shaped like rats
Getting a portrait with Gala & Gilda drawn by Molly Crabapple
Learning the art of walking up five flights of stairs in heels to Gala’s apartment
Having amazing food in every corner of the city
Making plans for the future
The massive accessories section of H&M
Hugging jumbo ice-cream cones
Friends across the cit welcoming me to sleep over
The kindness of complete strangers
& free drinks & dinner!
“Believe me, the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness & greatest enjoyment is — to live dangerously.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
Now… we hand the microphone (or megaphone!) to you! Shout it loud, kitten-face!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [109] Tags: inspiration,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Be A Leader
[ 8 July 2008, 09:08 ]
When you think of a leader, who springs to mind? The CEO of your company? John F. Kennedy? The woman who heads up your book-club? Your friend who always organise your group’s social activities? All of these people lead others in some way or another. That’s the thing: leadership comes in many different forms.
Even if the idea of growing up to be a corporate big-wig is the sort of thing which has you waking up in a cold sweat, sometimes a leadership role is one you will have to assume unexpectedly, at the last moment. You never know when you’ll be asked to step up to the plate, & for this reason, having a few core leadership skills will always serve you magnificently.
So, what are the essential elements of leadership? What skills & assets do you need in order to steer a group of people in one direction or the other?
Have a vision
If a vision is difficult for you to come up with, at the very least you need to have a set of ideals or beliefs that are important to you. When you look at great leaders from history — Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, Winston Churchill — you realise that one thing they all had in common was a very strong devotion to a specific cause.
You will need to have something similar. It doesn’t matter what your vision is. It could be about constructing a Utopian society, introducing a new form of recycling, devotion to real sex education in schools, free cupcakes for everyone on Fridays or compulsory comfort tests for stiletto manufacturers. Really, it’s up to you. The only “rule” as such is that you have to believe in it. It has to be real to you. It has to be something that you think is worth fighting for.
Don’t worry if you don’t know how to make your vision come to life. The human brain is a marvellous thing, capable of solving incredibly complicated problems while we, its humble owners, sleep peacefully. You’ll get there. The first step, & it’s a critical one, is just to have a vision.
“Absolute identity with one’s cause is the first and great condition of successful leadership.” — Woodrow Wilson
Be prepared to make tough decisions
Being a leader means the onus is on you. As a leader, you’re the person who has to make the difficult choices — there is no one else to shift the blame to. You’re at the top of the chain of command, so you can’t make excuses or wriggle out of responsibility, no matter how much you may want to!
Sometimes that means you have to fire or demote a friend, start saying “no” when “yes” would be much easier, or set out a new moral code. People don’t always take kindly to the person making these decisions. That can be unpleasant — no one wants to be disliked. Unfortunately, sometimes to make steps in the right direction, you have to be the bad guy.
Being a leader often means saying or doing what is unpopular — & sometimes, carving out your own path alone until you find other people who agree with you. This can sometimes seem like a heavy burden, & it can certainly be hard work, but ultimately it is what is needed to implement real change.
“The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes.” — Tony Blair
Set an example
Let me put this to you plainly. If you tell everyone else that they should live the life of their dreams, but in secret all you really do is sit on your couch eating potato chips, you’re not setting a good example! It’s important to be inspiring, & the best way to do that is to practice what you preach! After all, if it isn’t good enough for you, why would your intended audience bother?
You need to be a living, breathing embodiment of your ideals. The idea is to hold yourself up as a shining light, so that you can show others the way. That’s just it: it’s not enough to tell people what they should be doing, you need to actually show them, so they have someone to look to. Even your most ardent followers will fall off the wagon sometimes — & if all they have to do to get re-inspired is observe you, you’re making everyone’s lives easier.
Another reason that setting an example is important is that it will help gain you respect from your intended audience.
There are many ways that you can help generate respect for yourself, aside from making sure that you walk the walk as well as talking the talk. When you are establishing yourself as a leader, it’s important to act with integrity. You will have to decide what that means for you, because everyone, & everyone’s situations, are entirely different. Sometimes that means being transparent. Sometimes it means saying no (see above!) to someone who would like you to compromise your ideals. You will have to make your own decisions about this, but if you’re not sure, consider whether you’d want it splashed across the front page of the newspaper. Then act accordingly!
“We can’t drive our SUVs & eat as much as we want & keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times… & then just expect that other countries are going to say OK. That’s not leadership. That’s not going to happen.” — Barack Obama
Understand people
Having empathy for other people & the skills to communicate with them are two extremely important assets in any kind of leadership role. After all, usually as a leader, you are speaking for people — giving a voice to people who have none, or at least, no way to get heard. In order to do that, of course you need to get to know them!
There’s a reason why politicians go on the campaign trail. You have to get out & mix & mingle with the people so that they feel like you actually care about them. After all, who are you going to feel more positively about? Some chump in an office miles away, twiddling his thumbs, or a guy you’ve spoken to, who has kissed your baby & wished you well? The pure number of photographs of politicians smooching newborn children should give you the answer!
If you feel like you’re not that great with people — if, for example, you mostly just find them pretty irritating, or you’re not so hot at making pleasant chit-chat — you might like to work on that. Your local bookstore is an excellent resource. Pick up copies of How To Win Friends & Influence People & Please Understand Me, then take them home & devour them eagerly. You will learn a lot about other people’s personal psychology through these books, & if you’re hungry for more, take a peek at this.
The better your understanding of people, the easier you will find it to grasp their motivations & desires, which in turn will make it easier to work out how to get them to do what you want! Sneaky, huh?! It will also give you a much better picture of what you’re trying to achieve. Because it’s not just you, it’s you & your army. You need to incorporate them into your vision, & if you’re not a “people person”, you may find this hard to do.
Of course, theoretical knowledge is no good without actually putting it into practice. Make an effort to translate what you’ve learned into real-world experience. You might like to journal your experiences — you’ll find this a very valuable way of charting your growth, as well as learning what works & what doesn’t!
“The best leaders are always asking, “What should we do? Where should we be headed?” It’s a great way to communicate trust. People who make great leaders — the kind of leaders who, if they leave a company, others will jump ship to follow — are those who say, “Tell me what’s on your mind. Give me whatever you’ve got.” They’re open to learning, and they’re always looking for ways to learn. They never think they know everything there is to know. And they’re right.” (Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Great Leader? Fortune.)
Persevere
One of the reasons for having a strong vision — aside from the fact that it helps you steer in one direction or another — is that it will keep you going, even when times are tricky. If your vision is weak or non-existent, as soon as you hit a bump, you might just be tempted to retire to your boudoir & watch The Wizard Of Oz 23 times in a row while eating cheese out of a can (or something equally horrific).
Perseverance is an incredibly important quality for a leader. You need to have more tenacity, gumption & vim than anyone else on your team. If you give up, what do you think your supporters will do? (Yeah, you can probably guess.) You need to be prepared to keep pushing, even when the road ahead looks hard, & challenges start to appear in the distance — which will happen, make no mistake about it.
I mean, Martin Luther King Jr’s famous ‘I Have A Dream’ speech didn’t go, “Let freedom ring… & if not, no biggie”! There is a reason for this!
Another great quality many leaders have is that they welcome obstacles. It is often said that leaders are made by the way they deal with problems. While obstacles can make us groan & roll our eyes, it can help to view the overcoming of said obstacle as a huge step forward. Not to mention, the success of kicking your obstacle’s ass will give you further grit, determination & excitement to boot the next one to the curb!
Honestly, though, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. That’s what makes you so brilliant, baby!
“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, & struggle; the tireless exertions & passionate concern of dedicated individuals.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
“If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around & give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” — Michael Jordan
Be positive
How many leaders do you know that eventually hit a wall, throw up their hands & yell for mercy? That’s right — in the words of Scribe, a New Zealand rapper, “not many, if any”.
A real leader keeps their chin up even when the outlook is a bit misty — or downright stormy. While that might sound tricky, it really comes from their own very strong beliefs that they are doing what is right, & what is necessary. Crusading for bulldog clips in a range of pastel colours is the sort of thing you could probably let slide, but working for justice, racial equality, truth, love or beauty? Pshhhaw. If it means anything to you, you’re not just going to give up on it.
This is not to say that great leaders are never defeated, because sometimes things don’t go to plan. But the point is that they get back up again & keep fighting!
“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” — W. Clement Stone
So, how can you practice leadership? It’s easier than you might think. All of the attributes of being a leader, as listed above, are things you can start implementing in your life, even if you are a hermit in a cave. Make an effort to be positive. Have a vision for yourself. Start to welcome challenges & congratulate yourself when you overcome them. Leader or no, all of these things will set you up for massive success.
The next thing you might like to try is volunteering yourself for small leadership roles. Put your hand up for the position of captain of your club, offer to lead a project at work, start organising social events for you & your friends, boss your boyfriend around in bed! (Blush!) Taking charge in these small ways will challenge you while simultaneously helping to build up your confidence in your own abilities.
It might seem like a long way from there to Napoleon, but the more you practice your leadership skills, the closer you’ll get. Silly hat entirely optional, of course!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [41] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
life,
productivity,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 30th June 2008
[ 30 June 2008, 08:30 ]
Next time you have to make a nerve-wracking phone-call, put on your best, most fabulous pair of shoes. March around your room in them for a bit, pluck up your courage & then dial on your feet. (You always sound more authoritative standing up!)
Open yourself up to new kinds of music. Gregorian chanting, classical music, drumming circles, jazz, mind-blowing electronica, waltzes, turntablism… There is something magical in every musical genre, which can speak to a part of you that was previously untouched. Make it your mission to listen to something different & observe how your body reacts.
Wear a sparkly bikini top under your clothing. No one else needs to know, but you will have shimmering ta-tas!
Start making yourself a charm bracelet full of meaningful totems. Collect charms which mean something to you & remind you of past successes or future goals. (Everything on my charm bracelet has meaning, & when I wear it I feel like having those things near me moves me closer to what I want.) I’ve found the best range of charms on Ebay, & I particularly like Velvet Violet‘s shop.
Experiment with Bach flower remedies. Flowers in liquid format dropped onto the tongue? It all sounds very romantic, doesn’t it?
Listen to The Cure during a thunderstorm. (Read Poppy Z. Brite for extra bonus points! Eyeliner optional.)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [62] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Your Personal Manifesto
[ 27 June 2008, 00:00 ]
I recently discovered Wordle, where you can create an image formed from clusters of words. It’s super cool — quite customisable & really fun to play around with.
I used a selection of words from the “about iCiNG” page to create the image above. I set it as my desktop background so I can look at it & be reminded of what iCiNG is all about, & what I’m pushing for. Then I got to thinking about the concept of a personal manifesto. If you were going to make a Wordle image that summed up all the attributes you admired — & the kind of person you wanted to be — what would it look like?
I’d love to see what you come up with! Make one & then paste the link in the comments!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [58] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
life,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!2008 Trends & The Imaginary Girls Who Make Them Look Magical
[ 25 June 2008, 13:56 ]
Trend: Gold nail-polish
How? Slick your fingertips with Curry Up Don’t Be Late! by OPI. Play it up with gilded accoutrements that flash but don’t scream.
Candace swept into her international relations lecture at the last minute. As she set her handbag down with an unceremonious clunk, she took a long swig of water & surveyed the room. She stepped up to the lectern & cleared her throat. “Let me tell you what I know about post-positivist epistemology,” she said.
Trend: Harem pants
How? Pair with form-fitting tops & plenty of skin. Add fun accessories so you look more dapper than belly-dancer!
Minnie’s favourite thing to do after attending an environmental rally or a peace march was smile sweetly at shop-keepers while she shoplifted petty items — mints, lip gloss, key-rings. It helped keep the balance, she rationalised.
Trend: Prints
How? Try something bold, something which intimidates you a bit — & don’t be afraid to be “matchy-matchy”!
Jennifer loathed going to the dentist, so she wore her favourite cardigan & stuck her thumbs through the self-made holes in the sleeves. As she lay back in the chair, she tuned out the dentist’s incessant prattling & imagined diving for sunken treasure, naked.
Trend: Shirt dresses
How? Couple with natural fabrics for an immaculately crisp summer look. Add a slip in a plain colour to avoid unintentional exposure!
Xenia’s job at the museum made her pretty happy, but she would never admit that her favourite part of the day was sitting in the Egyptian room eating dumplings when everyone else had gone home.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [63] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
how to,
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madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Sera Beak
[ 24 June 2008, 14:28 ]
Last night I went to a talk by Sera Beak. Until last week, I had never heard of her — but was miraculously introduced to her by an iCiNG reader! Thank you, ss!
When I first looked her up, I came to her website. The picture in the middle? A photograph of a young woman in a cowboy hat standing in the “Talk To God” booth at Burning Man. It resonated with me, because I had done that exact thing — wearing almost the exact same hat — two years ago, on one of the most physically, emotionally & mentally gruelling weeks of my life.
I had a read through her blog, Spiritual Cowgirl, liked what I saw & reserved myself a place at her upcoming talk.
Alright, so, who is Sera Beak? She’s a Harvard scholar who has been studying & investigating religion, spirituality, God & divine truth since she was 11 or 12 years old. She is the author of The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark, & a champion of the REDvolution. But she can explain this better than I can.
“I’ve trekked in Tibet & whirled with dervishes in Turkey. I’ve volunteered at Mother Theresa’s Home for the Dying in Calcutta & run from rabid dogs outside Buddhist temples in Kathmandu. I’ve attended intensive spiritual healing workshops in Sedona & psychic fairs in Chicago, fire rituals in the Black Rock Desert & yoga retreats in Mexico… I’ve washed Hindu gurus’ feet, eaten dinner with living saints, argued with Zen masters, & had life-altering visions with shamans. I’ve taught a Tantric Tibetan Buddhist monk how to use his new digital camera, taken the host from a Croatian Catholic mystic who had the stigmata, & had an engaging private audience with His Holiness the Dalai Lama on my twenty-first birthday.”
Basically, when it comes to spirituality, mysticism, big questions & connections to the universe, Sera is your girl. But what is she like in real life? Well, she is very human — very real. She has long, straight glossy hair with an immaculately straight fringe. She wears a pendant of two leaves around her neck. Before she started her talk, she told us that she was terribly nervous. She has short red fingernails & wears a red ring on the first finger of her left hand. She swears & laughs & sits cross-legged when she speaks.
For all her trepidation about speaking, her talk was fantastic. I wasn’t sure what to expect — would she be talking about meditation, her life, Burning Man, religion? Interestingly, it turned out to be a huge mix of topics, with a focus on defining & finding your own spiritual truth. She talked about the rebels & outliers of religion, how they lived with passion & truth & purpose. It was exciting. Inspiring!
It was also a timely message for me. I have done a lot of work on myself, emotionally, mentally & physically, & I encourage other people to do the same. But the spiritual side? Well, I guess I have stayed away from that kind of thing. Why? When I was younger, I was mad on all that stuff! I read books, I visited temples, I meditated, I did rituals, I visited new age bookstores & loaded up on crystals. I asked questions. I wanted to get closer to that big magical something I knew was there. But then what? I got busy, I guess. Life took over. Maybe I decided it was uncool — I wanted to be logical, intelligent, rational, reasonable, & being spiritual just did not fit into that.
As I started to think about what Sera was saying, questions arose in my mind. Was I really working on myself & getting to know who I was, or was I just keeping myself busy & distracted? Was x really true, or was it just something I had accepted as a belief without thinking much more about it? Was I really as “in step” with the Universe as I thought I was? How often did I ignore my own intuition?
It’s very rare that I would buy a book at a talk. Usually I feel like I pretty much know the gist of whatever it is they’re pushing, & so I listen to the talk, go home, do some research, think about it, & do a bit more research. I also don’t make a lot of time to read books these days — most books I buy end up unread on a shelf. So you must realise what an impact Sera made to entice me to buy a copy of her book!
I walked home & sat cross-legged on my bed, devouring the book as I did my dinner. I got about half-way through before looking at the clock & realising it was more than time to go to bed.
So, what is the book about? It’s about exploring religion, mysticism & spiritually for yourself. It’s about asking questions & not allowing other people’s rules or prudishness or personal issues to define how you embrace the divine. It’s about looking at religious figures, Gods & Goddesses, saints & gnostics, & doing your own research. It’s about becoming attuned to symbols or characters or stories that resonate with you. It’s about learning how to pray. (The summary? Anything plus intention & purpose. How liberating is that?!) It’s about bringing ritual into your life & living with intention. It’s about being aware & noticing when the Universe winks at you. It’s about knowing who you are, broadening your horizons & making the world a better place. It’s about mind-blowing sex, using your intuition & learning how to be quiet.
Long story short: it is fantastic. You can read the introduction to her book here, & here’s an excerpt from the start that I particularly liked.
“So what’s a smart, gutsy, spiritually curious young woman to do nowadays? Well, how ‘bout taking spirituality back into your own hands? How about finding out what it means for you, through your own explorations & experiences & expressions? You know, all this spiritual stuff doesn’t have to be so esoteric or traditional or weird or dorky or intimidating or holier-than-thou. Spirituality is not separate & distinct from you & your everyday life. Igniting your divine spark is a simple perspective shift. An internal nod. An expanded relaxation into All That Is. It’s about tuning up your senses, cranking up your antennae, generating conscious living. It’s about becoming your own spiritual authority.”
I also picked up one of her postcards, which I slid into the frame of my mirror. It is bright red, & it says, “YOU HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE ANGELS SWOON.”
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [50] Tags: consumption,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Bubble Battle!
[ 22 June 2008, 17:31 ]
Yesterday I went to a bubble battle in Times Square.
The premise?
Turn up in Times Square at 6:21pm, bring bubble wands, guns & mixture, & let loose!
Of course, I had to go!
I made a video, too.
I found the whole thing really inspiring. It was organised by two people who just decided to do it. They put the word out, submitted an announcement to a couple of websites & poof! It happened. Thousands (apparently!) of people turned up high on bubble mania & started shooting bubbles into the sky. Every time a tourist bus went pass, the crowd would go crazy & cheer. The cops that turned up didn’t know what to do, but seemed like they were having a good time anyway!
So… what could you organise in your city to inspire the same kind of delight?!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [96] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
life,
video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Daily Outfit -- 19th June 2008
[ 19 June 2008, 21:40 ]
Dress like a cupcake should feel. I took it to heart this evening!
Earrings from Tokyomade (they are my favourite earrings of all time, in case you hadn’t noticed!)
Face by Reagan at MAC Flatiron (love him)
Fabulous airbrush tan by Tamar of Gotham Glow (how incredible & natural does it look?! SO happy!)
Dress ($26!) from a discount store — but they have the exact same one at Patricia Field... ! (It isn’t on the site yet but my spies tell me it will be soon!)
Patent leather belt ($12!) from the same discount store
Tarina Tarantino ring
‘Bermuda Shorts’ by Essie on my fingers & toes (it is flat & matte until you put a clear top-coat on, so weird)
Alexander McQueen heels (swoon)
Oh! & this is possibly a “too much information” scenario, but under my dress, I am wearing underpants from the upcoming iCiNG Treats collection… coming SOON!
Water is the sexiest accessory. Says me! Put that in your Vogue & smoke it!
My front door is magnetic. So are the butterflies I bought a couple of weeks ago. It was a photo op too great to pass up.
So, I have to say. I have never received as much attention in my ENTIRE LIFE as tonight — & I usually elicit quite a reaction from people (the tattoos & the hair are um, a pretty major attention magnet at the best of times). Everyone at the Louis Vuitton show (more on that tomorrow!) kept coming up to me, asking where my dress, belt, shoes, ring were from… & when I walked home, I honestly cannot COUNT how many compliments I received. I felt like everyone I passed was cheering me on, it was unbelievable. Guys were all, “You so sex-ay!” & girls were all, “I love your dress!” (The best part is that my neighbourhood has a major gay population, so lots of the men were actually like, “WORK IT MISS THANG!”) An elderly woman walking towards me said as she passed, “Whatever it is you’re doing, keep doing it”! I almost fell over with joy! I grinned & laughed & smiled the whole way home.
Is there a lesson here? I think so. I could have been wearing my New Rock boots & still had the same response. The lesson is that you don’t have to be wearing expensive gear to feel fabulous & cause a RIOT on the street. It’s ALL about attitude, confidence & knowing what works for you. You don’t have to be the most beautiful, the skinniest, the wealthiest, the most intelligent or whatever other attributes you value. You just have to ROCK what you’ve got! & I know you can do it!
This is me blowing kisses to all of you! My sweet nonpareils… love you all so much forever!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [162] Tags: daily outfit,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!An Idea, Perfectly Illustrated
[ 19 June 2008, 00:14 ]
I love this image. Here’s the direction my brain took it in…
Dress to thrill your inner child! Wear pretty dresses & big bows Neon hair & bright pink lipstick Super-high heels in candylicious colours Striped stockings & lacquered accessories Hair sprinkled with sweetly-scented talcum powder (which leaves a trail of dust in your wake) Confectionery colours worn together: pink & brown, shades of green, red & white Top yourself with a delicious head-piece — make a hat out of melted birthday candles or thread jelly babies into your hair Dress with the intention of delighting a stranger Cover yourself in glitter Turn gum-balls into accessories Tie a huge ribbon around your waist & consider yourself a gift to the universe Wear frilly ankle socks with stilettos Go boldly where no glamazon has gone before! Never shy away from having fun with fashion More petticoats! More, more! Think about layers — wear a fabulous bra, a suspender belt, adorable knickers, write a message on your stomach, then cover it all up with lace Encourage people to lick you! Offer candy to strangers Encourage people to stare! Think of life as a party Only wear skirts which billow out magnificently when you twirl around When you don’t feel like socialising, cover your head in whipped cream Salute the 90s in knee-socks Contemplate turning baking implements into awe-inspiring accoutrements Dress in a way which proves how much you love the world Nonpareils forever!
What does it conjure up in your mind?
P.S. Thanks to Kris Atomic, who always finds the very best things!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [56] Tags: aesthetic,
inspiration,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Loving A New City: Alone
[ 18 June 2008, 12:22 ]
I recently received two emails on very similar topics. Voilà!
“Since you’ve just made a temporary move, I was just wondering, how did you immediately feel so comfortable? It’s been over a month now and I still get so nervous adventuring by myself. Before the move to the city I had all these fantastic plans to take writing classes & yoga… and now that I’m here, it’s like, my body & mind won’t respond to my plans. I just want to know, when will I start feeling at home & how can I?”
“I was reading your blog last night and thinking how fabulous it was that you haven’t been in New York very long and you are by yourself, yet you aren’t letting that stop you from getting out and about and enjoying it. I once found myself in London by myself and was miserable and depressed because I didn’t know how to get out there and enjoy myself whilst being on my lonesome. Now I once again find myself in a new city all alone and am facing the same problem. How do you make friends and enjoy the culture and life of a city when you are all alone?”
I hear you! I know what it’s like to be in a city alone. It can suck. It’s fun for about a week, because everything is fresh & new — you can distract yourself by shopping, seeing the sights & getting lost, but by your second Monday, the gloss is starting to fade & you can find yourself at a bit of a loss.
A few years ago I went to Europe with my ex-boyfriend. We had a great time, but after a couple of weeks, he had to go back home for his job. I had quit my job to go overseas, so I wasn’t in any rush to go back to New Zealand, & my aunt who had an apartment in the middle of London said I could stay with her as long as I wanted to. So I stayed on while he went home, & after a few days of exploring Camden, going wild at Topshop & Miss Selfridge & eating ice-cream every day, it started to wear a bit thin. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I missed my boyfriend, I missed having my own space (I was camped out in the living room), I didn’t know anyone in town & I was just… bored. Idle. Adrift! I watched a lot of MTV, spent a bunch of time on the computer, & eventually decided to go home. It was the right thing to do, given how I felt, but I couldn’t help feeling as if, somehow, that wasn’t how it was meant to be.
Maybe it’s just London?! (Just kidding!)
I have changed a lot since then, & these days I would be much more inclined to push through the homesickness, difficult though it may be, & stay for as long as I wanted. I am also now more able to see opportunities for what they are, & my mindset is completely different. Rather than thinking, ‘Oh no, I’m having a terrible time here, maybe I should just go home’, these days I would probably think, ‘Eeesh, I’m having a rough day but it will be better tomorrow’.
I have been exceptionally fortunate on this trip to NYC, because as soon as I announced I was coming over, I started getting invitations to have lunch, go to dinner, have a shopping spree, camp on my friend’s girlfriend’s couch in Minnesota, etc.! A lot of this I attribute to the people I have met through this website. It’s quite common to strike up an online friendship with someone who you’ve linked to, or who emails you out of the blue.
Now, of course you don’t have to start a full-time blog to meet people, but most people who have been active in online communities for any length of time find that they strike up real friendships with the people they talk to. Then, if you travel, you can reach out to this bunch of people you already know, & see if they want to have coffee, or show you around their favourite museum, or go dancing. So perhaps the key is to get involved somewhere. Find a forum, start a Livejournal, sign up for Twitter, start publishing pictures of your life on Flickr. After all, it’s hard for people to be interested in you if they don’t know that you exist!
I really do think that when it comes to feeling alone in one place or another, it ultimately comes down to how much energy you’re putting out. Do you slink around feeling shy, hoping no one will talk to you, buried under a pair of headphones? Or do you strike up conversations with shop people, chat to women at the bus stop & flirt with the barista across the street from your hotel? While it can feel good to be a bit withdrawn & solitary in a new city — there’s almost nothing better than good music on your MP3 player when you’re walking exciting, unfamiliar streets — if that’s the way you behave all the time, it’s not unreasonable to assume that you’ll remain that way.
There is a girl called Sanna who runs The Vagabond Set. She is a photographer & the site revolves around her, living the party life, taking photos of good times. She travels to foreign cities, lives there for a few months, documents it & then flies somewhere else. It’s pretty interesting to watch. I was shocked while recently reading her blog where she said something like, “I didn’t go out tonight… for the first time in 7 years.” Incredible! Anyway, she did an interview a while ago where someone asked her how she knew so many people. I mean, how does a girl move to Japan & have an instant social circle? She said that the key was to strike up at least 5 conversations a week.
I have found, since being in NYC, that as soon as people hear my accent, they ask me whether I’m living here or on holiday. I am not really sure what to say, so I tend to say “A bit of both”, but here’s the thing. Most people want you to enjoy their city. They want you to like it, to have a good time, & many of them are happy to be a bit of an ambassador. So maybe something to try, next time you’re in a shop talking to a cool sales assistant, is to say that you’re new in town, & ask them what they’d recommend you do. Often they will tell you about a great bar, or invite you to a party, or say, “Well, my friend’s having this thing on Friday…” Then all that’s left to do is accept the invitation & actually go along!
Another thing to remember is that even though the first person you meet might not totally push your buttons, their best friend might turn out to be the most fascinating person you’ve met in years. Or their father’s friend might be able to offer you the job of a lifetime. Or you might just meet someone through them who also harbours a secret obsession for Buffy/My Little Pony fanfic. Do your best not to write people off straight away — give them a chance, allow them to surprise you!
Of course, the most important thing about feeling like you belong in a place is to do your very best to remain open to new experiences. Fabulous things happen to people who are open, alert & alive. If you receive a random invitation, don’t just say no because you’re socially anxious or unsure of yourself. It could be the beginning of an incredible fairytale.
Other than the social aspect of being in a new city, it can really, really help if you have a project of some description that you enjoy working on. It will keep you busy, give you a sense of purpose & help you feel like you’re not just wasting your time in some foreign city. I think that most of us, when we’re not occupied with work, our friends or loved ones, feel a bit aimless. We don’t really know what to do with ourselves, & a holiday alone really amplifies this. People like to be doing something, so find something to do!
For me at the moment, for example, whenever I’m not out in the city, I’m usually sitting cross-legged on my bed, writing articles or responding to emails. iCiNG keeps me very busy, regardless of where I am or what I’m doing — & of course, other than writing articles & emails, there is a lot of stuff that happens “behind the scenes” that you never hear about. So if you have something you love to do, like writing, drawing, programming or finding solutions to complex mathematical problems while you balance on your head, make sure you take the things you need to keep doing that!
Another thing that’s fabulous about being in a new city is the opportunity to find out who you really are. Being alone in an unfamiliar place is always a challenge, & spending so much time by yourself can really cause you to re-evaluate your life as it is. You start thinking about things. Why are you there? Would you like to live there? How could you make that happen? Are you satisfied with your job? How about your relationships? Do you dislike spending time alone, & if so, why? What could you do to resolve that?
Don’t shy away from these questions. Spending a bit of time thinking, writing, & thinking some more can be incredibly beneficial for you. It will help you sort things out in your head, give you a fresh sense of purpose & direction, as well as making you feel better about your lot in general.
Sometimes, if you’re feeling pressured, scared or nervous, it can help to view your life as a piece of art. Sometimes messy, sometimes awkward, & often unusual — but full of magic & genius all the same.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [68] Tags: advice,
gala,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Quote Of The Day -- 16th June 2008
[ 16 June 2008, 13:08 ]
“Find a way, whether through asking or praying, imagining or pretending, broiling or baking, to constantly remind yourself that I am always at your side, armed to the teeth with love, able to shock and delight, and probably, haute couture from head to toe.” — The Universe
P.S. Pictures from NASA.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [34] Tags: inspiration,
life,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 16th June 2008
[ 16 June 2008, 00:00 ]
Find a new fragrance for the season. LuckyScent is my favourite place to go for yummy scratch & sniff adventures — especially because they offer samples for an average of three dollars a pop. My picks? Mukhallat by Montale, Love by Kilian, Sienne l’Hiver by Eau d’Italie, pc02 by biehl perfumkunstwerke, Untitled #4 by Sarah Barton-King & The Exact Friction Of Stars by Pilar & Lucy (which I own & cherish — it is pure sex).
Buy a bubble gun. Use it mercilessly & inappropriately, with delight. (Inspired by this guy who I see regularly. Read the story!)
Wear something sparkly, get in the bath, pool or a big puddle, & have a mermaid photoshoot.
Throw a cocktail evening for your friends. Invite someone you don’t know. Tell everyone they won’t be allowed in unless they dress up! (If you’re underage, make delicious mocktails & get hyped up on sugar — I promise it is as least as fun as alcohol, if not more so!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [45] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Wear Pink Cowboy Boots
[ 14 June 2008, 09:30 ]
“I recently bought a pair of bright pink cowboy boots (on complete impulse!) and haven’t worn them yet. I know they’re gonna be big and I’ve seen them start to creep onto the high street, so I want to look like I’m really ahead of the trends. But I have no ideas what to wear them with! Could you give me some help?”
The absolute best thing about a pair of hot pink cowboy boots is that it proves you have a sense of humour. I mean, how could you not? As soon as you put them on, it’s pretty much proof that you have a personality. A pair of pink cowboy boots are not for the shy. They are not shrinking violet territory. They are loud & fabulous & they shout, “HERE I AM!” While you could dress them down, I think this would do them an injustice. I think the best thing is to use them as a platform to step it up a notch.
Having a pair of coloured cowboy boots can be limiting, but that doesn’t mean you can’t rock them to glorious effect. I once owned a pair of duck-egg blue cowboy boots. I saw them in a shop window, fell in love & wore them to death. (Proof: 1, 2, 3.) Some people didn’t like them, but they made me obscenely happy, so I wore them & loved them until the very end. I still miss them!
A good pair of cowboy boots is a very versatile item. It doesn’t have to be all jeans & down-on-the-ranch-wear! I have had an amazing amount of use from the cowboy boots I own at the moment. They are black & brown, have taken a total beating (I wore them at Burning Man) & still beg for more! I’ve worn them with a bedshirt, shorts & red lipstick, a vintage nightgown & a faux-fur coat, a sundress & yellow bow belt & the same outfit, winter-ified.
Having said all this, here are some outfits I whipped up with the help of Polyvore, based around hot pink cowboy boots.
Perfect for a trip to the playground, a bit of cupcake munching & a ferocious game of air hockey.
More conservative cowboy-boot-ism, but it still speaks loudly. Your boots say, “Here I am!”, your shirt says, “I have taste!” & your sunglasses say, “Science fair geek!”. Mixed messages? Why yes. But isn’t it more fun that way?
The ideal brunch outfit. Just don’t spill maple syrup on your shirt.
Perfect for a little antique shopping, followed by a cup of frozen yoghurt the size of your head. You might also feel the urge to just sit on a bench & look delicious — & of course, you should go right ahead & do that!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [50] Tags: advice,
consumption,
how to,
inspiration,
madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 12 June 2008, 01:42 ]
TLC — I posted this photo on Flickr last week & my friend Jo called me Gala “Right Eye” Darling. I had completely forgotten that Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes got her name because she used to wear a condom in place of the left lense of her glasses on stage, as a way to promote safe sex. So then I started listening to TLC’s CrazySexyCool album, which is so great (did any of you notice Andre 3000’s part in Sumthin’ Wicked This Way Comes?). & THEN! Lo & behold, Palms Out, only the purveyors of the greatest sounds ever, posted this: TLC – Creep (Norrit Remix). Coincidence? Psshhhh! Nawww!
When The Day Met The Night by Panic! At The Disco. Am I too old to like this kind of thing? Before Tuesday I had honestly never heard a P!ATD song — thank you Morgan! — & now I’m a big fan of their album Pretty Odd... Is this the sort of thing I shouldn’t admit in public?!
Australia’s Next Top Model — It’s down to the final four! & I like all of them! I think I would like Alex or Sam to win… How about you? Place your bets now! (I love Banzai too.)
Cute girls who buy me cupcakes — It happens a lot. I am very blessed. Shout outs, you know who you are! I also like girls who share slices of peanut butter pie with me, who wipe frosting out of my hair (I am totally classy), who dance like whirling dervishes & drive trucks all over Manhattan. In case you couldn’t tell, I have met some MIGHTY fine dames in this fair city. Awwwh!
Pharrell Williams is a genius. He is also very good-looking, VEGAN (!!!!) & the boy can dress! This makes him my #1 all-time celebrity crush. I recommend getting your hot little hands on Seeing Sounds, the new album by N*E*R*D which came out two days ago! It is fabulous times one thousand! My favourite tracks? Laugh About It, You Know What, Yeah You, & Spaz. Heart-throb!
“Secret single behaviour” — Do you remember that episode of Sex & The City where they’re talking about the things they do alone? Carrie’s secret single behaviour is eating a stack of Saltines with grape jelly, standing up at the kitchen counter & reading fashion magazines (or something like that). Well, I am not single, but I am living alone, so I am back to my normal weirdo single behaviour. This means dancing around the living room in my underwear to The Roots, talking to myself in a silly accent all the time, passing out at a ridiculous hour wearing an eye-mask, listening to music no one else seems to like (see: Deftones) & lounging around all day in a slip dress, regardless of the circumstances. It’s very luxurious & glamorous I assure you, except for the crumbs in the bed, random outbursts, maniacal dancing, heavy guitars & total lack of cleaning the house ever. Haha!
Calling New Zealand & having them understand me when I recite numbers… ! I said to the guy on the other end of the line today, “It’s so good to speak to someone who knows what I’m saying!” & he laughed. Even in Australia you end up going through that whole, “Say six! Say six!” “Six.” “Haha!” thing!
Honourable mentions: Fabulous invitations (Louis Vuitton Cruise Collection? Yes please, & also, thank you!); my new lip-wear combo (Revlon’s Just Bitten lip stain in Cherry Tart + plumping gloss); writing things down & ticking them off (or in my case, highlighting them in a flourish of purple); meeting raw people purely by coincidence; the whole concept of coincidence (it means co-in-cide — to be in accord or agreement. Latin: co “with” “together” & incidere “to fall on” — thanks Dhrumil!); Sigur Rós’ new album; Venetian Snares (I’m seeing Mr. Funk next week & can’t waittttttt); strutting so hard you pull a muscle (true story!); hip hop (I love you, always & forever!); magicians at 4.30am; Sade; wearing a slip dress with boots & four necklaces in tribute to 1994; living in a walk-up building (I now have legs & a booty of steel!); having so much to be excited about that I make daily news phonecalls to my most beloved people!
Shinu made doki doki shitai wa!
(I want to feel that doki doki feeling until I die!)
What gives YOU that doki doki feeling?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [83] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Quote Of The Day -- 10th June 2008
[ 10 June 2008, 13:24 ]
I just received this email from DailyOM. (You should subscribe to their mailing list!) These words are beautiful, illuminating & true.
Personal Satisfaction — Doing Our Best
We often come into contact with the idea that our best isn’t good enough, as if this were actually possible. If you examine this notion, you will begin to see that it doesn’t make much sense. Your best is always good enough, because it comes from you, and you are always good enough. You may not be able to deliver someone else’s idea of the best, but the good news is that’s not your burden. You only need to fulfill your own potential, and as long as you remain true to that calling, and always do your best to fulfill your purpose, you don’t need to expect anything more from yourself.
It’s easy to get tangled up with the idea of trying to be the best—the best parent, the best employee, the best child, or best friend. If we try to be the best, we run the risk of short-circuiting our originality because we are striving to fit into someone else’s vision of success. In addition, if everyone is striving for the same outcome, we lose out on creativity, diversity, and visionary alternatives to the way things are done. On another note, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve, but examining where this feeling comes from is important because wanting to be better than others is our ego coming into play.
Letting go of the tendency to hold ourselves up to other people’s standards, and letting go of the belief that we need to compete and win, doesn’t mean we don’t believe in doing the best job we can. We always strive to do our best, because when we do we create a life free of regret, knowing we have performed to the best of our ability. This allows us to feel great personal satisfaction in all of our efforts, regardless of how others perceive the outcome.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [24] Tags: inspiration,
life,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 8th June 2008
[ 8 June 2008, 13:43 ]
“One of God’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die.”
Next time you’re feeling a bit dour, strip down to your underwear & do a faux-sexy dance in front of the mirror. I think Sade’s Smooth Operator makes a good soundtrack for this kind of activity! Pout your lips, toss your hair & wiggle your hips. Glance back over your shoulder & wink at your reflection. I guarantee it will make you smile & feel at least a little bit better!
Regardless of your financial situation, treat your friend to a meal. It doesn’t have to be 5-star, it could just be a slice of pizza & a drink, but it will leave a huge impression, & they will love you for it.
If you feel awkward next time you go out dancing — like you don’t look good or you don’t dance well enough or you’re not cool enough to be there — take a break. Go to the corner of the room, drink some water, survey the scene & make a decision. Decide to own yourself & what you’re doing. Own your dancing, own your body, take control. Decide that you’re sexy, amazing, cool & glamorous. Decide that you’re a fabulous dancer & that you’re just going to cut loose. Decide that you’re the queen (or king) of the room & that everyone else in there is just your loyal subject, dancing for your entertainment. Imagine you are wearing a crown (or put on a tiara if you feel that way inclined!). Don’t feel the need to dance a certain way — just be you. Claim a place on the dance floor, flick your hair, spin around & keep your head up. You have to own it. As soon as you act like you belong to be there, you’ll start to have much more fun & people’s reactions to you will mirror that back at you. Plus, there’s nothing more appealing than a confident person having fun on the dance floor!
Make cupcakes at 3am with a friend. Scoff them & then collapse into a sugar & exhaustion-induced coma. Fabuleux!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [46] Tags: inspiration,
life,
quote,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 5 June 2008, 02:56 ]
Chester French — Set to be the next big thing, or so I hear! Pharrell raves about them, & I love Pharrell, & what I’ve heard is great, so I’m sold. You can listen to their tracks here. Pharrell describes them as a mix between the Beatles & Motown… yum! They also do amazing remixes, which you can hear on their Myspace. Good stuff! Have a boogie!
Air conditioning! My landlord came over yesterday & “mounted” (not as dirty as it sounds) my air conditioning unit. I am so blissed out right now. The temperature here has been warm but the past couple of days it has started getting hot in the city, hot in the city toniiiight! (Click the link, haha! I love this comment on the video — I just have to add this to Things I Love Thursday: “I wonder how much tail he got in the 80’s. Women just wanted to f*ck him madly!!. He always did his best to please his female fans. Literally. Billy your the best. Rock on.“)
Giving back — On Wednesday night I met & made friends with one of the heroes of my adolescent years (Dame Darcy). The best thing? She wants help with some stuff & I think I have the ability to assist her. A lot, actually. I feel really good that after years & years of reading her work & admiring her from afar, I can actually give something back that is of true value to her. Yay!
Lush Cosmetics! I went into their store near Union Square yesterday & as well as having the manager offer me a job (haha — but at least it’s proof that I know what I’m talking about!), I also picked up lots of beautiful things. Cosmetic Warrior face-mask: stinky but gets the job done! Irridescent Glitterbug: smells fabulous & makes you sparkle like a mermaid from outer space! Ocean Salt: the most vigorous, hearty salt scrub of all time. & the pièce de résistance — American Cream Solid Perfume! Swoon-o-rama, I’m telling you! Damn it smells good. I am almost out of Viktor + Rolf’s Flowerbomb, which I love, but I feel the need for something slightly more vigorous for this new phase of my life. I will pick up a little somethin’ somethin’ in duty free (suggestions welcome!), but for now, the American Cream solid perfume is rocking my world!
My Moleskine — It is saving my life right now. I am scheduled out the wazoo: I have nary a free day from here until next Thursday (& then my friend arrives & I will be spending the vast majority of the week with her). Amazing. I spilt some water on the book two days ago which you would expect would be a horrendous tragedy, but I managed to soak most of it up & now the tops of the pages are satisfyingly wrinkled & crinkly. It gives it this really worn-in feel, which I’m digging. It reminds me of old library books caught in the rain. It’s good.
Palmistry & tarot cards — I had my palm & cards read last night & it was a fabulous revelation. “You were put here for one sole purpose, & you’re doing it right now.” Damn right! I have always loved anything mystical, supernatural or weird… I used to devour books about ghosts, UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster etc. when I was a child, & my love of anything clairvoyant & psychic-related has continued to this day. Sitting with someone who is talented in that area is an incredible thing if you are open to it. (In fact, if you are looking for an amazing psychic, my friend Ed is mind-boggling.)
Elliott Smith — Oh, like I need to explain myself!
Everything is exactly right when I walk around here drunk every night, with an open container from 7-11 in St. Ides heaven… I’ve been out haunting the neighbourhood & everybody can see I’m no good, when I’m walking out between parked cars with my head full of stars…
Honourable mentions: Lots of guests on the way (my friend from Melbourne arrives in the city next week, the first of many!); meeting new people (randomly struck up a conversation in Pure yesterday with a woman who is a fashion editor & stylist — we totally hit it off & are going dancing this weekend); new music — Bola’s Kroungrine, Vampire Weekend, Talib Kweli’s Beautiful Struggle, Sade’s greatest hits (yes!), The Roots’ The Tipping Point etc.; upcoming Venetian Snares show (heart attack, I am so excited); talking to Simon & being overwhelmed with love (it’s hard to show it from so far away, so I just keep telling him how much I love & appreciate him & hope that does the trick); crazy packages in the mail (comics & straightening irons & condoms with my face on!); reading trivia on shows I love (like Buffy & SATC); my camera (I cannot even begin to explain how much I adore it); Gilda (my nominated heroine of the week — kisses); my parents (who do not take shit from anyone & are perpetually inspiring to me); eating way too many cupcakes (I ate 8 cupcakes over 3 consecutive days… & I loved every moment of it!); Pierre Hardy (SWOON); endless opportunities; true freedom!
“Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.” — Henry Miller
Okay, now it’s time for your joy to take the spotlight! Gather it all up in your mouth & spit it as far as you can — we want to hear it! Email your best friend & your brother & have them tell you what their favourite things today are, too. There’s no time to waste! Make this a golden moment. Don’t disobey Henry!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [66] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
life,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Quote of the Day -- 4th June 2008
[ 4 June 2008, 10:17 ]
“You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure about you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.” — Marianne Williamson
I would add to this:
Always be yourself. Your loud, brave, unabashed, scandalous, original, exceptional, truly magnificent, self-lovin’, horn-tootin’, crowd-wavin’, kiss-blowin’ self.
Always be yourself. You may face criticism, dirty looks & gossip over the back fence, but at least you will have honoured yourself, done your best, been true & authentic.
Always be yourself. No one else shines like you — nor can they illuminate a room, thrill onlookers or shatter perceptions in the amazing way you do.
Always be yourself. Your life is yours alone, to do with as you please. Don’t feel that you have to serve other people; in the end, it is only you who matters.
Always be yourself. If you want to live the life of your dreams, you have to make it happen. No one else is going to do it for you. Get off your toosh, toots, & start!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [70] Tags: inspiration,
life,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Turning A House Into A Home
[ 28 May 2008, 13:14 ]
Being away from all my trinkets has gotten me thinking about what it takes to turn a space into something you can inhabit with joy, settle into & feel comfortable.
The good news is that I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t take much to turn a house into a home. All it needs is a few small, colourful things that bring you joy. Here are some treasures I’ve found recently that make me smile.
(From top to bottom…)
A paper parasol in a bright colour makes a fantastic impromptu lamp-shade.
Major retailers deciding your favourite authors (Nabokov & Bukowski) are “cool” can be a little unsettling, but you should still take advantage of it. Once the trend passes, you’ll be glad you snapped up these posters!
I absolutely love the look of this cranberry, cardamom & clove soy teacup candle. Too cute!
Brokesy makes super-cool 2-cushion sets that tell a little story. I like these ones of a yeti chasing a lemming. Monsterlicious!
What could be better than drinking coffee out of a mug in your favourite Pantone colour?
A stylish tea-kettle is a necessity of every home.
Pretend you’re a superstar with this framed Andy Warhol print.
Next time you’re drinking scotch & writing postcards, why not drink out of something stylish like these colourful wobble glasses?
Make an effort to buy flowers. It will cheer you up on the dreariest day, I promise!
I am a sucker for sweet-looking tea tins. This ginger tea tin definitely fits the bill. Maybe you should keep some pretty Chinese gummy candy around for low blood sugar days, too.
Bird cages look good, even without anything in them. Though you could always stuff it with old love letters…
Light up your dinner table at dusk with these battery-powered lanterns.
I like this crown. I don’t know what I’d do with it though. Probably use it as a prop in my increasingly ridiculous self-portraits!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [39] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Artists Of The Moment
[ 27 May 2008, 13:30 ]
I was recently asked about how I found the pictures I use on iCiNG. Mostly I find them on Flickr, probably because I am an obsessive Flickr browser! They make it so easy… I search by keyword & sort by “most interesting”, then look, add to favourites, see the artist’s favourites, keep travelling around… It’s very easy to spend a lot of time there.
On that subject, here are some of my favourite artists. Artists of the moment, let’s say. Most of them I found through Flickr, though not all. Go to their websites, buy their prints, send them adoring emails!
Kris Atomic
Kris is one of my favourite young artists. It’s so exciting to read her blog & watch her grow because potential just shines out of her like a blinding light. You never know what’s she going to try next, & it’s brilliant to see her experiment with new mediums! Fearless art girl, grrrr! Generally, though, she is an illustrator, embroiderer, excellent photographer & shoe lover.
Roxanne M. Carter
I’ve been following what Roxanne does for years — since 1997, I’m sure. I first fell in love with her photographs: a published chronicle of the adventures of her & her friends in Hollywood. Then I discovered her writing, & fell in love again. As she has moved further into academia she has eased up on the photographs, but it is still wonderful to get a peek into her life. The photo album on her site is very worth perusing.
Fawn Gehweiler
Allow me to demonstrate how much I love Fawn’s work. I own one of her original paintings. I own one of her numbered, framed prints. I have a poster on my wall. & the pièce de résistance — I had two of her girls tattooed on me a few years ago. So let’s just say, I dig her. I think she is fabulous! You can also buy her work on all kinds of things, from bags to mirrors to mousepads, so keep your eyes peeled!
Lucia Holm
Dreamy portraits with a definite 60’s & 70’s vibe. Swinging colours, Twiggy tattoos, short skirts & flowers in her hair. Really, I am just a big fan of girls with a strong aesthetic taking lots of pictures of themselves… Can you blame me?
Kalindy lives in rural Australia, & often uses herself as a subject. Her use of white space gives a sense of expansion & loneliness, like we are watching her grow into herself from far away. She is cute & unkempt, with home haircuts & dirty knees, a host of neat props & a great eye for composition.
Audrey Kawasaki
It’s funny when liking an artist becomes so ubiquitous that you almost leave them off the list. I remember a few years ago when everyone & their dog loved Mark Ryden (including me) — now it seems like Audrey is going through a similar exaltation. If you don’t know about her yet, get on it! Her paintings are gentle, erotic & sweet, laden with beautiful colours & a good dose o’ mystery. They would look great above a bed in a very white room, I think.
Aneta Kowalczyk
An excellent photographer who sometimes uses herself as a subject (as above). Her self-portraits are my favourite; she is disarmingly handsome & bold. Her other work isn’t too shabby either — she chooses female subjects who look strong, powerful & unashamed, lights them magnificently & only publishes her very best shots.
Miss Loisy
If I had to describe Miss Loisy’s work, I’d say it’s colourful, creepy & weird, with an unsettling sense of humour. For example, the shots above are from Miss Loisy’s ‘DIY Botox’ series — genius! Her ‘Leaking Lady’ series is similarly disconcerting, & she brings a great sense of fun & excitement to everything she does. (A girl in a balaclava in an H&M dressing room?! Too cool!)
tiger lily & tiny teeth
Dream worlds & gingerbread houses. The relics of a life made beautiful. If you ever have doubts that the world is an amazing, fascinating place, a look through her photographs & drawings will set you right again. I would be very happy living in her pictures. (She also has an infrequently updated but equally lovely journal.)
Nubby Twiglet
The righteous queen of red. The czarina of scarlet. The madam of maroon. You get the picture! Nubby is a mixed-media artist & graphic designer with an eye-popping aesthetic & visual taste so sharp that it aches. (She’s also the iCiNG Treat designer for May!) With Nubby, the art doesn’t stop & start, it’s constant — look at the contents of her purse for proof! I adore her, & can’t wait to meet her in a few weeks time. Squeal!
Tim Walker
Tim Walker is a British photographer, romantic & visionary. He has shot campaigns for everyone from Vogue to Kate Spade, all with fabulous panache. I honestly can’t spot many themes in his work, but can say that everything he does comes with a large spoonful of his surreal medicine, & is a sort of celebration of offbeat femininity. Love it. (There is a huge Flickr set of his work here.)
Francesca Woodman
I was introduced to Francesca Woodman’s work by my photography teacher at school. She had a book of her pictures, which I pored over & adored. While, sadly, she committed suicide in 1981 at age 22, from age 13 onwards she created 10,000 negatives & more than 800 prints. For some reason, only about 120 of those have ever been published. She was a fascinating woman with incredible talent.
Who are your favourite artists? Whose art do you just not ‘get’? What kind of thing would you like to hang on your bedroom wall?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [57] Tags: aesthetic,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style Tips -- 26th May 2008
[ 26 May 2008, 14:25 ]
Learn some choice French phrases!
Compile a list of people you’d like to know or meet, & start making contact!
Next time you buy a magazine, rip out every page that contains an advertisement. Marvel at the huge stack of advertising, & the minimal amount of content. Ask yourself, is the value of the content worth what you’ve just paid to be advertised to? Make your future magazine purchases accordingly.
Change your skin tone. (& I mean that in a strictly non-Michael Jackson way!) If you pride yourself on your golden tone, lay off the UV for a while & see if you can learn to appreciate a paler pallor. If you’re usually ghostly & fair, try a spray tan & see how it changes how you feel, what you wear & how you look.
Spend time alone, in a park, with a pair of glamorous sunglasses & a good book. (Take snacks.)
Swear off television & movies for a week, & decide to become a producer rather than a consumer.
Buy yourself a pair of fabulous, extravagant heels. Go on. Just do it!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [64] Tags: inspiration,
life,
style tips Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!The Constant Gardener: Podcast
[ 22 May 2008, 18:38 ]
Gala Darling – The Constant Gardener (MP3)
Click to listen now, or save it for later!
Enjoy the honking of taxis in the background! (Makes it more authentic, don’t you think?!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [4] Tags: inspiration,
life,
podcast Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!The Constant Gardener
[ 22 May 2008, 14:07 ]
My mother has always said, “Everything happens for a reason”. For years I thought this was just her way of placating me when something bad happened, but recently I have come to realise the inherent wisdom in it.
Everything happens for a reason.
Life often contains upsetting details. These things can range from abuse to a bad haircut to divorce, but they all affect us. They throw us off balance & confuse us. We wonder what we did wrong. What did we do that was so awful that we deserved this? While I do believe in personal responsibility, & that our external world is a direct reflection of what is going on inside us, I also think there’s more to it than that. Sometimes these occurrences are the pathway to a more marvellous thing.
I don’t believe in “fate” (probably because I am too much of a control freak!), but I do believe that the Universe (or God, or a higher power, or whatever you like to call it) is always looking out for us. It gives us cues & nudges, signs & hints, & every now & then, it gives us a big, blessing-laden wink. We can’t always see that, though, & when we ignore it, we do so at our own peril. In order to be aware of what is going on around us, it’s important for us to be open & listening, to feel spiritually grounded & to trust in our intuition.
I think it’s essential to pay attention to what the Universe (or our intuition) is telling us. So many times I’ve had a bad feeling about something, & then after it’s all gone to pot, I know I was right to be cautious. It happens in small doses, too — walking around Manhattan, sometimes I feel like I should go left instead of right. I use my logic to turn right, then realise a block later that my intuition was right (or left, as the case may be!) all along.
A lot of people make the same mistake over & over, or their life keeps running in a hideous loop, & they don’t know what to do about it. This is a great example of the Universe trying to shake things up, or teach us a lesson that will benefit us in the long-run. We’re all guilty of not listening, too! It’s very common for our ego to get in the way.
Often, when things don’t work out for us, we look at the situation, grit our teeth, & decide to persevere regardless of the circumstances. Or we wig out, throw up our hands & run in the opposite direction. But I don’t think either of these are the ideal solution to a bump in the road. If we can take some time, sit back & examine what has happened in an objective fashion, usually we can see that there is another way forward.
Life doesn’t always fit in with what we want, but instead of taking it personally, I think it can be beneficial to recognise that maybe, just maybe, the Universe is telling us to wake up & pay a bit more attention. To go with the flow, not try & force anything. We can keep pushing if we want to, but it’s not necessarily going to be the best thing for us.
Sometimes we get so hung up on what we want, or finishing a project, or snagging that crush, that we can’t really see what’s going on. We become blind to our ambition, & we decide we must have x, regardless of the cost! Of course, having focus is a brilliant thing, & many of us would not be where we are today without it. But if you can maintain some perspective, consider the bigger picture & re-adjust your goals accordingly when things go awry, you’ll be much better for it.
If you can trust that the Universe will look after you, the world becomes a much less savage place. For example, I often have people approach me to get involved in their business projects. Mostly, it all works out fabulously, though a couple of times I have been a little bit hesitant (oh, intuition), but said yes anyway. What happened? Things went sour. While it’s easy for us to suffer the ill effects of a damaged ego, to take it personally & wring our hands, in my case, soon afterwards the other party showed their true colours. I realised that getting involved with them would have been a huge mistake. Having my energy tangled up in theirs would have been terrible. I regard this kind of thing as the Universe taking care of me. It could see what I couldn’t at the time. & while I could have pushed the issue, “made” it work, haggled &/or debated &/or kissed booty, I’m glad I didn’t. I am much better off for it.
Sometimes the Universe has to re-arrange things for you, often in an unsightly way, in order to make really wonderful things happen. It is painful & ugly at the time, sure.
But when these things happen to you, imagine the Universe knocking on your door. It turns up in overalls, wearing gardening gloves, carrying some seed packets & a pair of pruning shears. It smiles at you, & walks through the house to your garden. It kneels in the soil & starts to go to work in your flower bed, pulling up all the weeds & old, dying plants.
While you could run outside, scream & exclaim, “Don’t you know that those begonias were prize-winning? Best on the block! What are you doing?!”, take a moment. Look through your window. Examine the situation with a real, open, unbiased eye.
Everything happens for a reason.
Allow the Universe to be your gardener. Sit back & have a cup of tea. Watch as new seeds are planted in the fertile earth. Your gardener is making room for even more fabulous things to sprout & come to fruition.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [51] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 22 May 2008, 01:49 ]
1. Peony Pink, 2. grad-6, 3. Seducimos valiendonos de mentiras y pretendemos ser amados por nosotros mismos., 4. Untitled
Here is my list of things I luuuurve this week!
Meeting new people — In the last week, I have met (among others): Andrea, managing editor of The Fashion Spot; Wendy Brandes, jewellery designer extraordinaire & her husband, former managing editor of The Wall Street Journal; Craig of street style blog Altamira NYC; Jenny & Soren of Copenhagen Street Style; Gilda of Bunka, Parsons & holiday in the sun fame; Colin of No Impact Man; the girls from Bag Snob; Chris from Stylehive; Wendy from Nitrolicious; Aaron from Haute Concept; Lesley from FashionTribes, a whole lot of lovely people from Louis Vuitton, & uh, probably some other people too! Phew! Not bad for a week, hmm?! Even better, it shows no sign of slowing down… I am loving it!
My new place! I probably don’t need to explain this, so let me just say: my new apartment is bliss. I am so happy to be here that I could pass out with glee. Each morning I wake up with this little feeling of delight that begins somewhere in my eyebrow & slowly spreads down & across until it bathes my entire body, & I lie there feeling fabulous, blessed, excited, energised & ready to kick booty! Dear Universe: thank you, thank you, thank you.
Bicycle delivery guys — At about 5pm, you have to start being a little more careful when you cross the streets of Manhattan, because the city slowly becomes awash with dudes on bicycles couriering food from restaurants to apartments. I love it! It’s so quaint & cool & they are all so fearless — racing with taxis, risking life & limb, all in the sweet & simple quest to deliver your pizza hot. Amazing.
Ricky’s NYC — If you’ve never been into a Ricky’s store, let me explain. Every city needs at least one. It is basically your one-stop beauty shop. It’s better than Sephora, because they stock pretty much every beauty accessory known to man. There is a wall of false eyelashes, all in different colours, shapes & materials. There are candles, delicious-smelling soaps, straightening irons, all the best types of shampoo, & my favourite thing? The entire range of Special Effects hair dye. (They also have Manic Panic but it is an inferior product & you should not waste your money.) I think I have been into at least one of their stores every day since I got back last Thursday. I cannot walk past without going in. It makes me very, very happy.
Eating raw — Tonight I was feeling a bit petulant, & wanted a salad but couldn’t be bothered going & buying all the individual ingredients. I know, what hardship, right? So I got off the bed & walked to Pure Food & Wine, which is a mere stroll from my apartment. Yay! I had a delicious dinner, & made jottings in my Moleskine as I ate, & thought, & sipped at a glass of amazing lemonade. (Amazing, I tell you.) When I was done, I went next door to their takeaway area & picked up a pint of almond butter cup ice-cream, which is devastatingly good (& I swear tastes about a billion times better than conventional ice-cream), & a slice of cake (gasp!) for tomorrow. Breakfast, probably. Yum yum!
Avril Lavigne — I’m sure I’ve mentioned this in a Things I Love Thursday before, but it’s still true, so it’s worth repeating! When I worked at Lush, her album, Under My Skin, was one of the only decent CDs in the shop (& believe me, before I started working there, I didn’t like her at all). The Grease soundtrack was the other great one, but we also lots of stuff that drove me crazy, like Maroon 5 (argh!). Anyway… I was going through an ugly break-up & infatuation with someone totally unsuitable at the time, & this is going to sound so lame, but singing along to Avril Lavigne when the shop was empty was truly one of the best things ever. (I do have other female vocalist loves though — & taste, I swear! — notably Fiona Apple, Amy Winehouse & Ani Difranco.) Oh, & I read an interesting thing about Avril Lavigne a while ago where she attributed her constant angst to eating too much sugar! She said she went to a nutritionist & sorted herself out & she’s much happier now. Neat, huh?
New Zealand music — I didn’t like it much when I was in New Zealand, but as soon as I left, everything changed! This is one of my very favourite NZ songs. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
Che Fu – Scene 3
Honourable mentions: The fact that contact lenses are half the price here!; being asked for directions twice in one day & being able to help both times!; the Barney’s sale (uh oh, look out…); the charm that is inherent in practically every New Yorker I’ve met so far; Lupe Fiasco (I listened to The Cool on the bus back to Gainesville & was really, really impressed); fashion illustration (sometimes I wish I lived in the pictures); a big stack of stationery from the New York Palace; my friend Bei Badgirl’s art (one day I will have her paint a wall in my house); falling in love with skirts (1 with detail, & 2); sitting in my window watching the world go by (it is so exciting & happy-making that I feel like my heart might burst!), & emailing back & forth with Simon while I was at dinner (it was like a very slow date, but I loved it).
“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” — Woody Allen
Don’t be shy! It’s time to join in! (Especially if you are in the antipodes — it is 2am, & I stayed up finishing this so that you would get this on Thursday & wouldn’t feel left out! So you owe me… haha!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [81] Tags: inspiration,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Time Capsule
[ 20 May 2008, 08:10 ]
I received an email from Nadine this morning, saying…
“Sweetie, can you believe it was a YEAR ago we were running around doing film noir? Unbelievable!”
Do you remember that?! This time last year, it was the fourth International Dress-Up Day, the theme was film noir, & the participants were spectacular!
Let’s take a little trip down memory lane…
Simon took these pictures of me in the little alleyways surrounding our apartment in inner-city Melbourne. It was freezing cold, & my shoes were killing me by the end of it, but we were both really happy with how the pictures came out!
Nadine
Nadine said, “I don’t have access to venetian blinds, martini glasses or cigarettes, but little boys live in my house so guns are dime-a-dozen! I spent ages on Friday practising for the first one – heels, gun . . . shorts & t-shirt.”
Candice
Candice said, “mostly i just went for major contrast with the lighting.. threw in some cigarette smoke, alcohol, high heels, my favourite thrifted dress & voila! great theme.. it was definitely a broadening experience for me!”
Joodie
NoirMuse
NoirMuse said, “The Film Noir theme was a great opportunity to use my vintage had collection and seamed stockings.”
Lalumiere & friends
Lalumiere said, “we dressed up and bounced around downtown taking photos.. we got lots of weird looks but that kind of added to the fun. we came up with a plot and everything for them.. though there are far to many in the story to show off right now.”
If you’d like to browse the whole lot, check out:
Happy International Dress-Up Day!
Gala’s International Dress-Up Day #004 Pictures
More International Dress-Up Day #004 Photos!
Pictures Pictures Pictures!
Femme Fatales
International Dress-Up Day #004 Picture
Possibly The Last Batch Of i.D.U.D. #004 Photos!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [15] Tags: gala,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge -- How'd You Do?
[ 19 May 2008, 10:40 ]
Well, for a lot of you, today is the last day of the iCiNG Transformation Challenge. Phew! It’s been an interesting month, huh?
I thought this might be a good place for us all to discuss our final results & see how we feel about how well we did. I’d love to hear what you think helped you, & what might be useful in the future if we ever decide to do this again!
I noticed that most of us were pretty gung-ho for the first week & a half or so, but then things really started to taper off. Did you lose interest, get too busy, decide your goal wasn’t really that important, or something else?
My life was thrown for a bit of a loop when we decided to up sticks & come to the States, but thankfully I managed to stay on track pretty well. I’ve eaten a lot of great raw food while I’ve been here, & I’ve also exercised every day — whether I wanted to or not, haha! I have walked miles & miles & miles, & while it isn’t the world’s most stimulating exercise, it still counts! (Especially given the way I walk, which is typically quite fast.)
I haven’t been doing weights like I thought I would, but the interesting thing I’ve noticed is that the more raw food I eat, the more muscle develops on my body. Almost like the exertion (ha!) of lifting a piece of celery to my mouth makes my biceps bulge. But it’s really cool — I’m doing practically no work & my body is redefining itself. I’m pretty okay with that, & plan to keep it up!
So, how did you go? What were your greatest triumphs & challenges? Tell us!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [72] Tags: gala,
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quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Moleskine Inspiration
[ 17 May 2008, 23:36 ]
Those of you who have been around for a while will know by now that Moleskines are my journal of choice. They are beautifully made, with fabulous quality paper, & you really can’t go past them for a glorious piece of kit.
If you’ve never bought one before, don’t hesitate a moment longer! Run, don’t walk, to your nearest Moleskine supplier & pick yourself up a piece of bliss! But of course, that presents us with two questions.
1. Which is the right Moleskine for you? They have notebooks, diaries, city notebooks & cahiers, all blank & swooning for your attention!
2. What will you use your Moleskine for?
When I was working in an office (or at Lush), I would use the bus to & from work to get my best writing done. I loved to use soft-cover ruled cahiers with a buff cover. I have a whole stack of them sitting in my bookcase in Melbourne, filled with obsessive writings about boy infatuations. In fact, I have an entire cahier devoted to Simon! (Awwww!) I use a black page-a-day diary for my daily life planning — I draw hearts at the start of each “to do” item, & then highlight the words in purple when I’ve completed them. I also have a New York city notebook which currently sits totally empty, but which I cart around a lot because it’s wee & has a subway map in it! (I will fill it in soon, promise!)
Here are some lovely things that other people have done with their Moleskines. The artist is noted below the picture. I hope they fill you with inspiration & elation!
Ideas for your Moleskine
Saliva-inducing illustrations of the food you eat
A chart of romantic or sexual conquests
Modern treasure-map guides to your favourite places
Written character sketches & mysterious pictures
Page after page after page of wishlists
Love letters to your idols
A choose-your-own-adventure story
Views from windows
Individual haikus about each of your friends
Reviews of every roller-coaster you’ve ever ridden
What you would wear if you lived on the Moon
A collection of perfume strips & who you think they suit
Drawings of your favourite designer shoes
Lipstick kiss-marks
The third draft of your acceptance speech
What do you use your Moleskine for? Do you have pictures?
Resources
Livejournal’s jr__nal community
Flickr’s Moleskinerie group
Flickr’s The Moleskine: One Page At A Time group
Flickr’s My Moleskine group
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [102] Tags: aesthetic,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Wear... Competition!
[ 15 May 2008, 18:19 ]
How utterly fabulous! iCiNG has teamed up with Polyvore for another competition!
How To Wear… Purple!
This one’s more trend-centric than the last. It’s called How To Wear…, & the idea is that you make a set giving us your take on how to wear…
Gladiator sandals
Metallics
Purple
Blazers
Prints
Waistcoats
Headwear
Flared trousers
High waists
...or 1940’s style!
You have 14 days to whip up as many fantastic outfits as you like! I’ll be choosing 12 winners (phew!), all of whom will be getting a sweet little parcel from me in New York City! (I will write you love letters & send you trinkets & fortunes & bubble wands & anything pretty I see…) If that doesn’t entice you, how about the fact that your set will be world famous on iCiNG & Polyvore? Sounds good to me!
Click here to get busy styling, & be sure to have submitted your entries by the 29th of May! All entries should go through that link!
Best of luck, glamazons!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [152] Tags: inspiration,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Spring Uniforms
[ 11 May 2008, 22:57 ]
Sometimes when the weather heats up, I get overwhelmed with the contents of my closet (or suitcase!). When that happens, it can help to come up with a few outfits that I can adapt a little bit as necessary, but that basically serve one purpose. I call them “Spring Uniforms” — ensembles that are easy to put together & comfortable to wear, & get me over that initial hump of warm weather mania!
Here are some fabulous imaginary Spring Uniforms, thanks to Polyvore.
Shopping Uniform
When it comes to doing a big shop for the new season, the less clothing you wear the better. All the better to slip in & out of, my dear! One simple accessory (the bangle), versatile shoes, a non-burdensome handbag & a pair of sunglasses have you totally sorted.
Picnic Uniform
While white might be a little inappropriate for a grass-related event, as long as you have a picnic blanket, you should be okay! Cobalt blue accessories & a fringed bag make for exciting accoutrements, & an apple & a stack of books mean you don’t need anyone else in order to have a great time!
Gallery Uniform
I always want to go to hundreds of galleries & openings in Spring. This is my ideal outfit for schlepping my ways around the halls of hallowed museums & galleries. High heels, a flared skirt, a colourful t-shirt & some sparkly accessories. It shows that you have style while at the same time not taking yourself too seriously. Woohoo!
Charm Uniform
To me, New York City is about making new friends & lots of connections. (It’s been a lot of fun so far!) This is a super outfit for going into cafes, meeting people for lunch & charming the pants off anyone who takes your fancy! Flat sandals are conducive to walking, sunglasses prevent you from squinting into the sun, & chunky bangles make sweet clinking noises when you write down your phone number with a flourish!
Do you ever devise uniforms for the seasons? If so, what do they look like?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [43] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 8 May 2008, 07:16 ]
The iCiNG community — You all continually amaze me. I received this email from Mica a few days ago.
“Just wanted to say a huge thank you to you for organising the contact page for us all. I had to go down to Melbourne for a graduate position and I had a break before my flight home, so I asked one of my new Melbourne-based iCiNG facebook friends what I should do. I got some great suggestions although I actually ran out of time to do much, it was still helpful! When I got called back to Melbourne again the next again week I made sure I had a bit more time to spare so I could meet my new Melbourne friend! I met up with the lovely Nora yesterday and we sat in a little Melbourne coffee shop, drinking hot chocolate and chatting. It was a perfect way to relax and unwind after an interview, and I’m really glad I got to say hi to her face to face… My favourite part was being thrown out of the coffee shop as we had overstayed our welcome, we’d both not noticed the time! hehe. Not something I would have expected to happen after meeting a complete stranger…!”
Telephones — This is going to sound silly maybe, but have you ever thought about how incredibly amazing the telephone is? You press a sequence of numbers & you are connected to your best friend, your lover, your parents; instantly transported to a kitchen in Bombay or a library in Boston or someone climbing a tree in Dunedin. I love it!
New York — Oh, come on! You knew that was coming! I’m really starting to feel at home here. It has been fabulous roaming the city with Simon, but now that I am here alone, & have been a bit nervous about it, I feel like New York is cheering for me. It wants me to stay. It’s doing its best to make me happy. The weather is warm & beautiful, & when I stepped out the front door today, here’s what I was greeted with. Blossoms.
Raw food — Man, New Yorkers have it totally sussed. I went into a tiny health food store on the Upper East Side yesterday & found an entire wall full of raw food. Not to mention the amazing food I’ve eaten since arriving here — mind-blowing, to say the least.
Being open to opportunities — I’ve made a conscious effort to open myself out to new people & experiences while I’m here, & it’s paying off in a major way! I have had offers to stay all over the city, go vintage shopping, explore Brooklyn, scope out street style with Altamira (aka Craig), stay at someone’s summer house in East Hampton, visit Disneyworld, hang in the Egyptian wing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, go to Minnesota & stay with a guy from Rhymesayers, & way more than I could ever mention! It’s absolutely amazing & I’m so excited. I love having so many choices that I’m not sure which one I’m going to pick!
Warm weather — New York has totally been putting on the ritz in terms of weather. Blue skies, sunshine, blossoms & butterflies are everywhere. Even better, as you read this, I am 30,000 feet in the sky, flying to Florida, where it is even warmer! It feels kind of like cheating to go from the Australian summer to the American one, but you know, I’m okay with that!
Feeling a bit Carrie Bradshaw — Oh, I know it’s a cliché, but here I am, a girl in the city, laptop in hand, writing about her experiences & trying to make sense of them… Of course, there are probably thousands of girls in Manhattan who feel exactly the same way, but it’s a club I’m pleased to join! (Also: can’t wait to see the movie! Squeal!)
Honourable mentions: Lots of books to read (I am dying to get into them but have been too busy thus far!); Disneyworld (can’t wait to go!); spontaneous phone calls; yerba mate tea (yummy!); my bathrobe from the New York Palace (it is pimp); the New York Palace in general (I’d be happy never to stay anywhere else again); the East Coast raw community (aaaaaabsolutely… faaaaabulous!); Zappos.com (upgraded me to overnight shipping for free & were generally amazing); plotting out an informal Spring uniform while I’m here (pictures to come once I’ve obtained it!); marvelling at the things in the supermarket (really, it blows my mind); my new Frye boots (pictured above); pink (it’s everywhere & I’m embracing it); my New York City Moleskine; new friends who want to help; tulips (they are all over the city, huge & vibrant) &... well, pretty much everything! I am a little bundle of loved-up loveliness right now! Mwah!
“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” — Gloria Steinem
So, gorgeous, tell us! What’s ringing your bell, turning your crank, keeping you awake at night? The promise of Spring? A new Winter coat? Stolen kisses? Trapeze lessons? Let us know!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [62] Tags: gala,
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video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Kink Under The Covers
[ 28 April 2008, 22:37 ]
“What would you recommend to spice up your sex life? I’m with a lovely guy who I trust (and who trusts me) implicitly. We have an enjoyable sex life but it’s so… meh. Two positions, totally plain. He’s also very inexperienced and quite submissive, so doesn’t feel he’s knowledgeable enough to bring up new ideas. And I, for once, am completely at a loss for inspiration! So one of my goals is to remedy this. Do you have any tips/suggestions/links/cupcakes that you think could solve, or at least enhance, my lacklustre love life? Indeed, if there’s a cupcake that could enhance it, I’d be more the happier!”
Absolutely! There are lots of things you can do to make your intimate life more sexy, exciting & stimulating! Here are a few suggestions. (By the link, practically all of the links that follow aren’t safe for work. Consider yourself warned!)
Buy a good sex book
It’s one of the best ways to fill your head with new ideas, while at the same time giving you a crash course in sexual health. (We all need reminders!) You might like to go to the sexuality section of your local bookstore & peruse the shelves; I often find that Borders has a huge selection of sex manuals as well as erotica. However, I have to say, my absolute favourite sex book is The Guide To Getting It On!, by Paul Joannides & Daerick Gross. It is truly awesome. It’s required reading at colleges across America, which you might think would mean it’s a pretty dry book. Not at all! It’s the kind of book you read for fun (or “pleasure”, mwahaha) — the writing is humorous, always interesting & thought-provoking. Any book with a chapter called “The Zen Of Finger F*cking” has to be good! Get your hands on a copy & read it with your boyfriend, enjoy the illustrations (they are racy & cool) & use some Post-It notes to mark things you’d like to try together! You might also like to look into some of Violet Blue’s books — she has written some fantastic stuff about fetishes, role play, porn & various sex acts!
Find a few good sex blogs
There are all kinds of things online that will appeal to you, it’s all about what floats your boat. You can experiment with erotica, pretty pictures, sex ed & the infamous Fleshbot. If you add one (or several) of these blogs to your RSS reader, you’ll get a steady influx of racy loveliness, which will definitely raise your libido & keep your mind ticking in a lusty manner!
Subscribe to a sexy/erotic podcast…
...& listen to it together in bed! Turn the lights down low, get scantily clad & see where the words take you! If you search “sex podcast” in iTunes, you’ll be presented with a slew of podcasts to digest & enjoy.
Watch porn together
I don’t mean that mass-produced stuff starring human Barbie dolls (well, unless that appeals to you!) — I mean the good stuff, & believe me, it does exist. I think Andrew Blake is a pretty great pornographer: what he does is more high-end erotica than terrifying close-ups & whatnot. For example, Dita Von Teese stars in Pin-Ups 2. Vivid Alt have some good titles, too. For more suggestions, Violet Blue is your girl — she used to review porn for a living! Check out her recommendations for what she calls “smart porn” — less long fingernails (eeesh!) & faux-orgasms, more genuine pleasure & realistic lovin’!
Write down your fantasies…
...on little scraps of paper, have your boyfriend do the same, then draw one or two out of a hat every week! You could even have little “dates” a few nights a week, where you make drawing a fantasy out of a hat a habit. Fun fun! If you have performance anxiety & can’t think of anything to write down, have a look at BDSM Scenarios: Ideas To Spark Your Sex Life.
Do a striptease!
Have your lover do one, too! (It’s only fair…)
Dress up…
...in a saucy outfit & let him have his wicked way with you (or vice versa)! Pretending to be someone else can really help if you’re feeling pressured to get it on & have an amazing time, etc. Boss him around or let him tell you what to do, & come up with outfits to match. Bonus points if you surprise him at the door wearing just your knickers under a trenchcoat, or jump out of his closet wearing nothing but one of his shirts!
Try getting it on in different locations
Sometimes a change of scenery is just what you need. Try messing around in your car, by the beach, in a forest, behind the stacks at your local library, in a cupboard at IKEA, or wherever works for you… just don’t get caught!
Go shopping
No, not for tomato sauce & a head of broccoli… for bedroom accoutrements! Handcuffs, Swarovski crystal embellished whips, toys, blindfolds, feathers, whatever takes your fancy! If you’re too shy to buy in person, Good Vibrations is a great place to start.
What are your best hints for making your sex life more saucy? Go on, spill!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [33] Tags: advice,
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question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Deciphering Your Cravings
[ 28 April 2008, 00:07 ]
This is a guest post from the official sponsor of the iCiNG Transformation Challenge, Emrys Tetu! (Applause!) She is a holistic health counsellor & wellness coach based out of Connecticut, & she makes my heart sing! I hope you enjoy this offering from her.
Hello, nonpareils!
Here is some extra love and support for each of you as you journey through this intense month of personal transformation! Whether your commitments to yourself during the iTC are focused around food or exercise or relationships or career or attitude and spirituality, here are a few reflections that may help you as you stretch and grow and discover new edges of yourself.
There’s nothing healthy about being miserable.
For many of us, this is so easy to forget. And it’s a wonderful test to use as you try new things. You can ask yourself, “Is this making me miserable?” If you find that it is, you’ll know that it can’t be quite right for you. This approach is excellent because it’s usually accompanied by an impulse to do something else. Instead of immediately dismissing this other impulse, explore it.
Often that which seems silly at the outset is exactly what’s required. So, for example, you may feel that…
You really don’t want to eat more salad, you want to eat more chocolate.
Although many of us would think that we should “make ourselves” eat the salad, there are probably good reasons you really want the chocolate. So, don’t dismiss those nice dark leafy greens completely, but do delve into what the chocolate craving is about!
Chocolate is the number one food source of magnesium, a mineral in which most people are deficient. Magnesium is crucial for brain, heart, and reproductive health. It helps strengthen bones and relieve muscle cramping. Chocolate is also an excellent source of antioxidants (again, highest natural food source), and many chemicals that react with the brain to improve mood, including theobromine, seratonin and dopamine. So it may be that your chocolate cravings are about a need to re-balance any of the above. (Chocolate quality varies wildly; any inclusion of refined sugar or dairy dramatically reduces its health benefits… my absolute favorite recommendation for highest quality, amazingly delicious, fully healthful chocolate that does not create insulin spikes and crashes is Gnosis Chocolate.)
A craving for chocolate may also be an indication that you aren’t getting enough rest and are looking for a pick up from a food instead of nourishing yourself with quiet time and sleep. It could be a craving based on a desire to regulate your mood, either because it is a comfort food for you or because of the way it alters your brain chemistry. Chocolate can also offer a bridge away from more intense chemicals like coffee, especially because it also offers deep flavors and a lift in energy.
I like to share this example, because people like chocolate, but we often think we shouldn’t. And when we realize that we’re allowed to like the things we like…
Sometimes the best things happen! This lesson transfers over to many other areas of life. Our cravings have so much to teach us!
Behind the surface of any craving is a complex network of memories, issues with self-acceptance and denial, and physical situations such as dehydration, low blood sugar, an excess of concentrated vitamins, and any of a number of other forms of imbalance. It takes time and attention to Lovingly unpack all that makes up a craving. Please be gentle here. The common approach of ignoring it is the least successful! Willpower doesn’t work, but working with lots of modalities together and having patience with yourself does. A support system is crucial, through a community group or a friend or a professional. Many have had success with wellness coaches such as Gala’s raw food coach, Karen Knowler, or myself (here’s what some of my clients say).
So, during this week of the iTC, get ready to enjoy your healthier, happier life! One bite of chocolate (or whatever juicy thing you allow yourself to explore) at a time! Celebrate this, your Best Life Ever…
Love, Kisses, and so much Encouragement,
Emrys
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [21] Tags: how to,
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yum Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Daily Outfit -- 23rd April 2008
[ 23 April 2008, 02:31 ]
Kenzo vintage scarf
Big sunglasses
Mink Pink “Private Eye” Trenchcoat from Freez (only $79 [!] & I luuuurve it — also Freez is one of our sponsors so go & check them out!)
Black stockings
Boots from Dizingof
Charm & ‘Thoughts Become Things’ bracelets
Leather gloves with the fingertips cut off!
Dachshund bag (with the chain off) from Love On A Leash (new favourite thing, it has been living in my bed)
MAC Red lipstick
Emerald’s boss, a hirsute man with an eternal case of morning breath, told her she was the “most conspicuous spy in the universe” before firing her (& her dog, Salvador) one rainy Tuesday.
Nowadays she operates a small, doddering practise from her bed-sit in Hollywood. If she was the star of a book series, like Nancy Drew (her personal heroine), the titles might be…
The Case Of The Washing-Line Thief
The Mystery Of The Last Biscuit
Spooky Times On The Midtown Bus
The Puzzle Of The Late Rent Cheque
Emerald & Salvador love to watch America’s Most Wanted & share peanut butter sandwiches. They are available for immediate hire. They accept cash, cheques, dog biscuits, bourbon & all restaurant coupons.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [58] Tags: daily outfit,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge Discussion!
[ 20 April 2008, 19:52 ]
Happy iTC, everyone!
This is the official discussion area for the iCiNG Transformation Challenge. It’s linked in the side-bar (look for the hot pink paper crane!), so you will have easy & constant access to it throughout the month. Feel free to come here & talk about how you’re doing, give other people support & help iron out any creases in your personal Challenge.
However, there are a few rules!
Use the “best friend” scenario
When we have bad days, it can be easy to get down on ourselves & say negative things or make harsh judgements. As soon as we start proclaiming how much we suck, it just makes us feel worse. If you haven’t had a fabulous day, instead of belittling yourself in a comment, imagine you are standing at the front of a room with your best friend & she or he is describing how you went. Odds are, their description of you would be much more gentle, loving & kind than what’s in your head! (If you don’t have a best friend, or your best friend is secretly a monster in disguise, imagine it’s me instead!)
No numbers
(This really only applies to those of us doing health & physical Challenges.) Please be considerate of where other people are coming from. For example, you might only want to gain/lose x kilograms, but some people will want to gain/lose y — & if they read that, they might feel bad & decide it’s not worth bothering. Similarly, discussing your measurements or counting calories can be quite discouraging or upsetting to people. It’s awesome to have goals but if they’re number-related, please keep them to yourself for now! You may be healthy but there are lots of people with food & body image-related issues, so please — no weight or measurement comments.
Leave as many comments as you like!
This is your space, so you can do what you like with it. I’ll be dropping by to talk about how I went & what I did for the day, as well as leaving note of encouragement for other people. You can treat it like a group journal if you like — a catalogue of our successes & difficulties, lots of love & ideas to keep ourselves going!
Some other things that will improve your iTC:
Do your very best to phrase your experiences in the positive, rather than the negative.
You might like to start your comment with DAY 1/27 (for example) so you can get a bit of perspective!
Don’t use this as your only record of how you’re going & what you’re doing — if you can get your hands on a notebook (or even a few pieces of paper), you should chart your progress there too.
Bookmark this page & make sure you come back often!
Best of luck everyone! I know we can do it!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [504] Tags: inspiration,
life,
madame,
monsieur,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Ooh, The iTC Starts Tomorrow!
[ 20 April 2008, 05:18 ]
Yes indeed, the iCiNG Transformation Challenge starts tomorrow. I know that some of you might be feeling a little daunted, especially if you took my advice of yesterday to pick a couple of goals that scare you a bit. I know how you feel, & trust me, we’re going to get through this together!
Let me give you an example. As a child growing up in New Zealand, raised on the Sweet Valley High series, cheerleading was always something amazing & cool & foreign to me. I wanted to be just like Jessica Wakefield, the most popular girl in school & a great cheerleader. But living where I did, & going to a single-sex school & well, let’s face it, feeling uncoordinated & being more interested in serial killers & Marilyn Manson than high kicks & pom-poms kind of meant I was out of the cheerleading loop.
Well, yesterday I decided that if I could take cheerleading classes, I would. It would be part of the iTC, & I could just do it once & maybe if it sucked I wouldn’t go back, but at least I’d know. & my childhood dream would finally be fulfilled! I found a place that had a squad & taught classes, & made arrangements to go.
Today was the day. I was nervous. Okay, let me re-phrase that. I was terrified. “Terrified of a bunch of cheerleaders?”, I hear you scoff. Well, yes! What if they were all blonde & perfect & extremely coordinated & I, well, wasn’t? What if I sucked really hard, & smashed my face on the floor? What if they hated me & someone tried to suffocate me with a pom? What if it was like the try-outs in Bring It On? Would my ego survive? Would I run from the class, crying in embarrassment?
Imagine my surprise. They were all super-friendly & cool. I had a blast. It was so much fun. It was really hard work, but totally awesome. I’m not the world’s best at following choreography, but I did well — & they told me I was picking it up really quickly. I watched them do stunting (where you throw people in the air!) & then I learned how to do a back & forward walk-over, something I have always wanted to do!
I left the class euphoric & power-walked home. I am still buzzing. I had such a great time. I am now part of a squad! Squeal! Anyway, the point of writing this all down is to encourage you to feel the fear & do it anyway! Trust me, if I can go to a cheerleading class, you can do whatever it is you want to.
We have all previously let our beliefs & fears dictate what we do. The thing is, beliefs & fears aren’t rational. I thought I was uncoordinated. Why? It’s not even true! If you can sweep your fears & false assumptions aside (hint: EFT is really good for this, & trust me, I did a lot of tapping before I left the house this afternoon!), you really, truly can do anything you want.
Don’t let your mind hold you back!
Best of luck for tomorrow!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [38] Tags: gala,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge -- Reminder!
[ 18 April 2008, 21:41 ]
Remember, the iCiNG Transformation Challenge starts on Monday! Two days! Woohoo! I’m so excited, & I just can’t hide it!
For those of you who still aren’t sure how they’d like to participate, here are a few ideas.
Do yoga three times a week Eat a salad every day Try EFT Quit smoking Start meditating Go vegetarian, vegan or raw for a month Swear off Starbucks Start making steps towards leaving your awful job Hire a personal trainer Think positively about yourself every day Start walking to & from work Write every day Make an effort to drink way more water (or even better, make it your only beverage) Wake up early Break a sweat every day Reduce your intake of processed food Get regular massages Take vitamins every day Study for two hours a night Smile more often Strike up 5 conversations a week Do all your shopping at farmer’s markets Abstain from alcohol Start seeing a nutritionist Work at improving your relationships every day Keep your room or house clean Try a new type of exercise every week Stop eating “diet” food & eat vegetables instead!
Only you know what you really need to work on, so listen to yourself & move in a direction that feels natural.
I’d also encourage you to choose only a couple of things to do — establishing one routine can be difficult, so trying to establish five simultaneously will be even more so!
Decide on something that you think will be a bit of a stretch. Basically, it should be a goal that makes you pull a face. The thought of exercising & eating raw every day freaks me out, which is why I know I should do it! When we commit to doing things that scare us, we feel even better when we pull it off!
I’d also suggest you spend a bit of time this weekend finding a nice notebook to chart your progress in. We’ll all be discussing things like mad here at iCiNG, but it’s always good to have a permanent record for yourself! (I like Moleskines, but then, you knew that!)
Two days to go, two days to go! Glee!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [80] Tags: inspiration,
life,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!ModCloth Competition!
[ 17 April 2008, 09:44 ]
I have some really exciting news!
ModCloth & iCiNG have partnered up & we’re very excited to announce our first competition!
Here’s the challenge…
Create a Polyvore set featuring at least one item from ModCloth! It can be cool, edgy, chic, feminine or whatever you like, but the aim is for it to be inspiring, stylish & fabulous!
The prize is a $100 voucher to be spent at ModCloth on whatever you choose! (& I’m sure you’ll have lots of ideas after seeing all the sets!)
Susan (ModCloth’s owner) & I will choose our favourite set over the next two weeks, & on the first of May, we will announce our winner!
To make your sets, you can check out ModCloth’s fitting room or go straight to Polyvore — that link will take you to a listing of all the ModCloth pieces. You can enter as many times as you like, just post links to the sets on this entry!
Here’s a little somethin’ I whipped up!
Love those shooooes!
Okay, good luck kittens! May the power of Polyvore compel you!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [524] Tags: consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!I Have A Crush On A Guy I've Never Met!
[ 14 April 2008, 22:22 ]
“I saw an interview with a man (not a celeb, just a random guy) in a magazine and I find him sooo attractive (I’m a love-at-first-sight kinda girl). The interview says he lives in the city very close to my village & is single. I googled, of course, and somewhere on the internet I found his email address but apart from that nothing important I think. I don’t think I can use it, it might be weird, no? But if I find his address, are there things I can do without looking like a stalker? Maybe drop a little note in his mailbox or something? Or should I just let it pass? I don’t know, I don’t have a lot of confidence when it comes to guys and he is 25 while I’m 19 so I don’t want look like a little girl…”
That’s so cute & awesome, & I think you should definitely approach him. After all, what is life without courage? But having said that, there are some definite tips to keep you from crossing over into scary stalker territory.
My first piece of advice would be to make contact via email. The reason for this is that it’s much less threatening. If he thinks you might have been lurking outside his house, well, that’s enough to make even the bolshiest brute feel a bit uncomfortable! Email, on the other hand, is much less intrusive, & at this point, you don’t really want to encroach on his personal space.
The other thing I’d say is that you should play it cool. Even though you may feel like you’re head over heels for him, take a moment to chill out. To make sure you don’t say the wrong thing, play a game of role reversal & then adjust your behaviour accordingly. Imagine receiving an email from someone who has seen you in a magazine & thinks you’re the cutest girl on the planet. You might be okay with him saying that, but if he started to get all, “I believe in love at first sight” & “So, I did some searching online & I noticed your house has a blue roof”, you might freak out a bit! Odds are good that you wouldn’t reply to him, & that his email would make good lunch-time gossip fodder for you & your girlfriends. He might even get a nickname, like, “The Email Freak”.
As someone who gets a lot of email all the time, some of which manages to successfully communicate a message & some which just doesn’t, I can tell you this much. The best emails are complimentary but not obnoxiously so, assume an easygoing rapport, & extend an offer of some sort. Here’s an example of an email that has all those elements, tailored to your situation.
Hi Karl, [1]
How’s it going? [2]
I’m writing to you because [3] I recently saw an interview with you in Slug magazine & something about you really appealed to me! Probably because of your clever answers! Oh — let’s just say it. The fact that you are devilishly handsome didn’t hurt, either! [4]
My name is Coco & I live in Taihape. [5] So, hello! I’m currently studying architecture at Moonman University, which I love. [6] I’m an occasional yoga instructor & eternal book-worm. (I just read a great book on nutrition by Marion Nestle, [7] it was so interesting, all about genetically modified food & the psychology of supermarkets. Sounds dull but it was actually amazing!) [8]
Anyway, I hope this email hasn’t weirded you out too much, I just thought you seemed cool & wanted to say hi. [9] It’d be great to get you know you better, so if you have a moment, drop me a line! [10]
Hope the rest of your week is fantastic! [11]
Coco. [12]
Email Decoder!
1. Say hello casually. “My sweet hunk of man-meat, Karl” would be a bit much.
2. Assume rapport — i.e., act as if you already know him.
3. Explain why you’re writing to him. Otherwise he might be all, “Who’s this crazy nut?” & rush through what you’ve written to try & find out why he’s got an email from you.
4. Use humour & be honest.
5. Introduce yourself but don’t be too stuffy about it.
6. Give some information about who you are — not too much, just enough to prove you’re not a serial killer.
7. Back up what you’ve told him with a bit of additional info. Make it something broad — for example, everyone has an opinion on food since everyone eats, so it’d be really easy for him to grab that topic & run with it.
8. If you think that the example you’ve used might sound a bit boring, you can always say you know it sounds boring but isn’t. It’s kind of a good fall-back position.
9. Nice & casual. It shows that you realise you’re doing an odd thing, but that you’re obviously not nuts.
10. Again, really casual. You’re not desperate for a reply, you obviously have a life, but if he’s keen, you’ve extended an invitation.
11. End on a positive note. People usually only remember the last thing they heard, so be sure to end well.
12. Don’t sign it “Love & smooches on your perfectly toned stomach”, tempting though it may be! Be cool!
Be yourself, & write it as if he’s already a friend of yours. This will help cancel out a lot of the awkwardness. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through either, but as this is someone you’ve never met before, it’s probably better to play it a little bit more conservative than you normally would.
Best of luck! We all have our fingers crossed for you!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [55] Tags: advice,
how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Style By The Stars: What's Your Astrological Aesthetic?
[ 13 April 2008, 22:33 ]
Aquarius
20 January – 18 February
Aquarians are true eccentrics — it’s almost impossible to peg them down, except to say that they are all wildly different! They love to shock & they go out of their way to make a statement & an entrance. Every Aquarius has a favourite, secret vintage shop, or undying devotion to some bizarre new enfant terrible designer. Aquarians adore bright colours & plastic; there is probably a high percentage of them in your local rave scene!
For more information, see How To Spot An Aquarius.
Pisces
19 February – 20 March
Pisces are shoe-mad & likely to have an amazing collection of avant-garde footwear stashed under the bed. With their dreamy aesthetic, they can find it exceptionally difficult to get dressed for work. Female Pisceans prefer dresses & skirts to trousers, & their vivid imagination often has them yearning to dress in period costume or to imitate the look of someone in a movie. Their shopping style is intuitive & things just seem to work. They adore blue, silk, chiffon & tulle!
For more information, see How To Spot A Pisces.
Aries
21 March – 19 April
Aries are driven, no-nonsense people, & they dress in a way that reflects that. Your typical Aries woman prefers pants to skirts or dresses, & rarely wears heels because, well, they just slow her down! Aries love fashion & are often at the front of trends, but they stay away from anything too frilly or feminine. It’s common for people born under Aries to have an obsession with the colour red, & you’ll often see it around them, in their accessories, lipstick, car or gadgets. (My mother is an Aries & her glasses, lips & cellphone are all red!)
For more information, see How To Spot An Aries.
Taurus
20 April – 21 May
Taureans are the earthiest of the earth signs, & so natural colours (like dark green & brown) easily make their way into the Taurus’ wardrobe. While they love a good bargain, they are also capable of spending enough money to put the King Of Pop to shame. They either look uber-luxe or they dress down on purpose — Taureans don’t like other people knowing their business! They are drawn to soft, tactile fabrics like velvet, wool & silk, & can often be found swaddled, blissed out in a corner. They also like to draw attention to their throats by wearing chokers, necklaces or scarves.
For more information, see How To Spot A Taurus.
Gemini
22 May – 23 June
Geminis like to keep up with what’s going on in the world of fashion. They’re always the girls who have hundreds of fashion blogs in their RSS reader, & they probably have a few magazine subscriptions, too. It’s usual for Geminis to have a couple of different looks that they switch between, to avoid boring themselves — one might be elegant & one might be a little slouchier, or one look is quite feminine while the other is more androgynous. Geminis love silver jewellery & cool, light colours — light pink, icy blue & canary yellow are all favourites.
For more information, see How To Spot A Gemini.
Cancer
23 June – 22 July
Cancerians think sentimentally about clothing, & will keep dresses that they consider lucky or a coat that they had a great night out in 15 years ago. They love to mix & match their emotionally-laden pieces with newer things. They’re also mad keen on vintage, & love the thrill of reworking old clothes to make them look fresh. Cancer girls, whether well-endowed or not, love to show off their heaving bosom! They will often subconsciously go for low-cut tops without even really thinking about it. (This also makes them one of the most popular signs of the zodiac, especially at parties!)
For more information, see How To Spot A Cancer.
Leo
23 July – 22 August
Leo women love to toss their mane & get noticed! They rarely dress down & thrive on being the most exciting dresser in the room. Your average Leo’s (ha! Who am I kidding? There’s no such thing!) wardrobe is stuffed to the brim with sequins, silks, animal prints & fur (real as well as faux). They love sensual, tactile fabrics. Some of a Leo’s other favourite things include designer labels, hats, the colours gold & purple & standing out from the crowd. Their idea of hell is turning up to an exclusive soiree in the same dress as someone else — or wearing a uniform!
For more information, see How To Spot A Leo.
Virgo
23 August – 22 September
Virgos are the organisers of the zodiac, & so it’s rare that they will just go on a random shopping spree & come home with a sequence of unrelated garments. No way. They’ll have a list (if not on paper, then definitely in their heads) & they will not rest until they find this or that elusive piece! Virgos have an eye for detail & so for them, it’s all about accessories. They love detailed prints, unusual stockings & jewellery, & are likely to have a fabulous collection of hats & scarves. Their clothing always fits them impeccably (they are probably best friends with their tailor) & their motto is “quality, not quantity”.
For more information, see How To Spot A Virgo.
Libra
23 September – 22 October
Libran women are some of the most feminine in the zodiac. They love floral perfumes, dresses & heels — feeling & looking like a woman are of utmost importance to them. As die-hard romantics, a date or a new boyfriend are two of their favourite reasons to go shopping! They were also (in an informal poll) voted “most likely to dress to please their partner”. Librans dig balance, too, so they love to play up interesting proportions & colour combinations.
For more information, see How To Spot A Libra.
Scorpio
23 October – 21 November
Scorpios are sultry sirens, & for them, clothing is about sex appeal, power & control. They often have a penchant for mind-blowing lingerie, which they wear under everything to boost their self-confidence. Your favourite goth is probably a Scorpio, as they have a few of the same interests — an obsession with the colour black, for instance, as well as a huge collection of boots & semi-fetish wear. (Scorpios adore corsets, fishnet & PVC.) They also spend a small fortune on maintenance, & they’re always waxed with great hair.
For more information, see How To Spot A Scorpio.
Sagittarius
22 November – 21 December
Sagittarians can never stand still & this is reflected in what they wear. Most Sagittarians are obsessive globe-trotters, & they love to wear trinkets & totems from their travels. Depending on the Sag, this can range from strutting around the house in a kimono to just wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Santa Monica’! They’re pretty earthy, too, & as well as loving comfort, they like to buy things that last. Natural fibres make them smile, & they’re likely to own an old leather jacket & a pair of great boots that they wear with everything.
For more information, see How To Spot A Sagittarius.
Capricorn
23 December – 19 January
Capricorns are often workaholics, & so they dress to fit with that. For them, work isn’t just a place they go, it’s an extension of them, & something laden with meaning. It’s not just corporate Capricorns either — the more arty Caps dress for their profession too. Regardless, they like to have the best. Their Louis Vuitton bag would never be a replica. Some of the Capricorn woman’s favourite things include classic tailoring, showing off their great legs, pinstripes & dressing down on the weekend.
For more information, see How To Spot A Capricorn.
How accurate do you think these descriptions are? I think the Virgo stylescope is on the money, & I can definitely draw parallels between what I’ve read & how some of my friends dress — especially the Scorpios & Sagittarius’s! What do you think?
Oh, & as much as I wish I was a fabulous astrologer, I’m just not! These astrological style-scopes were compiled with the thanks & help of the following sites, which I highly recommend!
Fashion Tips by Sign
Neptune Fashion Profiles
What’s What: Fashion Stars
Spring Into Fashion: Tips By Sign
Donnalyn’s Astro-Guide to Venus, Style and Party Fashions
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [125] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
inspiration,
madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge -- Mailing List!
[ 11 April 2008, 23:42 ]
Okay, my darlings! The response to the iCiNG Transformation Challenge has been amazing! I’m so excited!
There are nine days to go until we start. Dun dun dun dunnnn! But I had a brainwave the other day, & as such, have created a mailing list so that everyone who takes part can stay motivated & on top of things!
Every day of the challenge, I’ll be sending out short emails to everyone who wants them, with tips, motivation, & general Gala-esque cheerleading! It’s about as close as I can get to doing an encouraging jig in your living room!
If you want to jump on board, sign up below. I’ll start sending you messages of love, cheer, invigoration & fortitude a few days before the iTC starts… & we’ll take it from there!
(On that note, are you subscribed to the Cupcake mailing list yet? Every Thursday I send out news & pictures as well as a secret mission… Click here for more info!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [29] Tags: inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Transformation Challenge -- Announcement!
[ 10 April 2008, 07:37 ]
I wanted to let you all know about something I’m planning to kick off soon. It’s called the iCiNG Transformation Challenge, it will run for a month & it revolves around us taking control of our lives & our bodies in a concentrated way! It’s like weekly resolutions but amped up in a way that would make even Victoria Beckham exclaim, “MAJOR!”.
The iCiNG Transformation Challenge (iTC) will run from the 21st of April to the 18th of May. It would probably make more sense for it to start at the beginning of a calendar month, but that’s so far away & I am impatient!
I recently decided I wanted to commit to a month of really looking after my body, to see what kind of results I could get. I often find it hard to stick to an exercise routine, just because it feels really aimless & sometimes the thought of exercising every couple of days until the end of my life freaks me out! By giving myself a task that lasts for a month, I find that much less of a mental hurdle & far easier for me to grasp. The idea is that I will realise how great I feel when I put effort into my physical well-being, & will want to keep it up.
The reason I’m announcing it is because I also thought that if we commit to this & do it as a group, we’ll all feel like we have lots of support & love helping us achieve our goals!
My iCiNG Transformation Challenge: I’m going to exercise every day, & I’m also going to eat 100% raw!
Both of those things are quite scary to me, which is a good sign, I think! I am going to stock up on lovely fresh fruit & vegetables, & armed with what I learned from Karen Knowler, I think I will be unstoppable!
In terms of exercise, I’ve bought some DVDs which are on their way, namely a Jari Love three-pack [Get Ripped!, Get Ripped! Ripped to the Core & Get Ripped! Slim & Lean — man, those titles are a gigglefest!], Shape Bikini Body Camp Transforming Workout & Jeanette Jenkins’ The Hollywood Trainer 21 Day Total Body Circuit. All of them get quite good reviews so I’m really excited to see how they turn out. I’m also going to do yoga, spinning, weights, swimming, go on long walks & dance in my living room. I read Shape Up Like A Spice Girl the other day & it occurred to me that the reason I normally get so bored by “exercising” is that I always do the same thing. By mixing it up I hope to keep my interest level high!
So, consider this your official invitation to join me in my transformation quest! I wanted to give you all a bit of notice so that if you want to take part, you have time to prepare yourself. Now, you don’t have to do it the way I am — your transformation challenge might be about quitting smoking, cutting down on your meat consumption, meditating regularly or just walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. But ideally it will be something that you work towards a little bit every day.
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
— Tony Robbins
Only you know the changes you need to make, so if you want to jump on board, use this time to brainstorm what you’d like to achieve & how you’re going to go about it. I can tell you right off the bat that I’m going to use a whole lot of EFT to get over the mental hurdles I have about regular exercise & going 100% raw! Comment here about where you’re heading & what your goals are likely to be, & I’ll see if I can write articles to help!
The iCiNG Transformation Challenge starts in a little over a week & a half — ample time to buy DVDs, stock up on healthy food, purchase exercise equipment, join a gym, find a yoga class, or whatever else you need to do to get prepared & pumped!
I’ll be giving regular updates on how I’m doing, as well as writing up lots of tips & tricks to help us get to where we want!
Are you with me, baby?!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [175] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
life,
productivity,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!8 Outfits & Ideas For The Perfect First Date
[ 8 April 2008, 02:51 ]
After months of shy coffee shop flirting, Fawn finally wore this to browse an art gallery with Mark. When they walked outside, their nervous conversation changed track & she gave him an impromptu tango lesson in the garden outside.
Joanna & Ashley spoke candidly, laughed loudly & shocked the waiter at an elegant bistro. They rounded off the evening with martinis at the bar & a sweet dessert with two forks.
Dulcea & Quentin, art students from Brighton, had a picnic by a pond, followed by an exuberant Japanese photobooth session.
Carmen & Charles went for a spin on her scooter, followed by a small feast of hot dogs & Coke by the river’s edge. When she found herself using a napkin instead of wiping her hands on her jeans, she realised she must really like him.
Farrell & Ruby went to a sushi train restaurant. After a bottle of sake, they sat closer than they needed to at an outdoor cinema.
Trent wore this to go with Karl to a poetry reading. Later, they talked about Nabokov, hands gesticulating wildly over a bottle of red wine.
James & Bambi ate vegetarian burgers in her car before checking out a warehouse party her friend was throwing. (When he took off his hoodie, Bambi — a big Yoko Ono fan — hugged him out of sheer delight.)
Nicholas took Violet to an underground hip-hop show, danced with her in the back of the room & watched as she fell in love with him.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [75] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
inspiration,
life,
madame,
monsieur Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Let Someone Know That You Like Them
[ 1 April 2008, 07:48 ]
Make them a mixtape
Write them a letter
Ask, “Can I kiss you?”
Write them a story
Draw hearts on their mirror with a whiteboard pen
Buy them your favourite album
Take them out to climb trees
Draw a comic where they are the superhero
Take them a slice of lemon meringue pie
Drop them secret hints via your blog or online journal
Go star-gazing together
Read them your favourite story
Get a photobooth strip done of you holding up signs (“I” / “like” / “you”)
Buy them a plant & name it together
Give them an hour-long massage
Take them an enormous bag of lollipops
Visit them when they’re sick & tell them they look beautiful
Learn to juggle together in a park
Buy them a voucher for a beauty spa
Be a flowerthief — steal blossoms from the neighbours
Buy them tickets to see your favourite comedian
Tell them what you know about art
Hold their hand
Buy them a vintage typewriter
Build them a sandcastle
Push them on the swings
Have a picnic for two
Talk about music over coffee for hours
Load your MP3 player with your favourite songs & lend it to them
Give them a colouring book & a whole lot of pencils
Encourage them
Walk your dog together
Call them
Buy them a teapot in their favourite colour
Say, “I like you.”
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [68] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!What Would You Wear At 40?
[ 31 March 2008, 23:05 ]
“I confess, when I shop with my 19 year-old daughter, I am so envious of the style choices she has. PLEASE do women like me a favor! How can a forty-something mom build a style without large expense (we are paying for college you know) which will look new and fresh but appropriate for our age. Remember, we don’t have the great bodies we did at your age. Classic but unexpected. Flattering. Age-appropriate but FUN! What do you see yourself wearing at 40?“
People often write to me saying that they’re x age or y weight, what do I think they should wear? It can be hard to answer questions like that, because I don’t believe that just because you’re not young or thin (the theoretical ideal), that you should have some kind of boring style prescription. I think dressing in a way that makes you happy is the most important thing, & when you’re being told what you can & can’t wear, the fun gets sucked out of it pretty quickly.
This email was different. She asked, “What do you see yourself wearing at 40?” — a much better way of phrasing things. It made my brain whirr. Of course, what I’ve come up with is my style, & therefore not necessarily suitable or even something you can picture yourself in. But it does give us a jumping off point!
Here’s what I came up with.
A simple outfit with a splash of purple. This would be great for a day off, shopping or walking my Dachshund!
40 year old Gala on her private jet. Oh yes. Secret spy woman with colour-coordinated accessories!
Black & white & super-chic. I absolutely adore this outfit. It’s just not quite the sort of thing I can pull off yet.
I think older women look so amazing in black & white. It’s so clean, & it makes them look clear-headed, intelligent & successful.
While it can be easy to feel like you’re being left out of the fun trends that your daughter is slithering into, remember that as a woman, there are a lot of things you can pull off that younger people can’t. As we grow & mature, our presence expands, & our whole way of being changes.
So as a grown woman, don’t feel limited. Think about it — while it may not be in your budget, the real high-end fashion houses make clothing for women who are your age. Not young whippersnappers! If you need some inspiration, look at fabulous women your age & see what they’re wearing. Think about Coco Chanel, Lauren Bacall, Diana Vreeland, Nicole Kidman, Iman, Julianne Moore, Kate Spade… !
I imagine that when I’m 40, my style will have evolved quite a lot. I probably won’t be so keen on super-short skirts or sleeveless tops. I envision a huge closet full of obscenely beautiful things — great coats, fabulous shoes, delicious handbags. I will probably have moved past my obsession with shoes that have springs & platforms! I can’t even begin to imagine what my hair would be like… I will probably still have a penchant for black worn with a splash of colour, & unusual jewellery.
This whole thing reminds me of “Warning” by Jenny Joseph.
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
What do you think you’ll wear when you get older? Make a Polyvore set & link it in the comments if you’re feeling really creative!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [77] Tags: advice,
aesthetic,
how to,
inspiration,
madame,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!iCiNG Treats
[ 31 March 2008, 09:00 ]
I had the idea a while ago that it would be stupendously cool if there was a way for nonpareils to signal one another on the sly, in real life. You know how sometimes you see somebody on the street & you think, ‘I bet we have things in common’? But life is weird & hectic & sometimes you’re too shy to say anything, even though you’re thinking so hard about whether they like cupcakes & shoe shopping that you almost walk into traffic.
iCiNG has grown a lot since its inception. We’ve had over 4,000,000 (yes, four MILLION) people come through since we started. When you consider that the country I grew up in, New Zealand, has a total population of 4,000,000, it’s enough to cause the eyes to widen. Even better, loads of those people have stuck around — & you’re one of them! While you all have different browsing schedules (some of you visit every ten minutes while others do one big catch-up at the end of the week) & ways of interacting with the community (some of you talk our ears off in the comments while others are content to smile at the screen), you are all part of the whole. You are all nonpareils, beloved by me & the community, sweet mirthful cuties with lots of sass & brilliance.
Our community is so vibrant, so talented, so mind-blowing that it seems ridiculous for us not to connect in person & really get to know one another. Who can honestly say “No thanks” to more fun, more friends, more excitement?
I started to think about how, in comic books, when Batman was needed they’d flash that Bat-Signal. He could see it from anywhere & instantly, he knew he was wanted. I thought, man, it would be so cool if all nonpareils had a secret symbol so we could signal one another!
& so… I present to you…
What are iCiNG Treats?
We’ve linked arms with a slew of mind-bendingly amazing young creative talent, all of whom have been feverishly slaving over notebooks, twirling pencils & splashing inks in the quest to conjure fabulous things into being!
These geniuses have combined their love of aesthetics with their adoration of iCiNG, & are all thrilled to be able to offer unique pieces of art created specially for the iCiNG community!
I’m so delighted to have them on board, but I must warn you… the artists involved are so marvellous that there is a high chance of joy-induced seizures!
So you know what this means, don’t you? OUI! Every month we will be highlighting a magnificent new artist for you to fawn over & enjoy!
Think of it as wearing a secret spy signal. It signifies your official nonpareil membership, & serves as a grand salute to anyone else familiar with the cupcakes, carousels, TiLTs & other facets of the iCiNG Bowl! You’ll be wearing an amazing piece of art by a hot up-&-coming artist, as well as supporting & strengthening the iCiNG community.
Enough gabbing! This way to iCiNG Treats!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [119] Tags: consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Raw Coaching With Karen Knowler
[ 21 March 2008, 17:58 ]
Karen Knowler coaches Gala Darling (MP3)
On Thursday evening I had a raw coaching call with The Raw Food Coach, Karen Knowler.
I was introduced to her by the dazzlingly wonderful Dhrumil of We Like It Raw & Give It To Me Raw fame, & I can’t say thank you enough times! Mwah!
Our phone-call went for an hour & in it we discussed some problems I was having with the raw food transition. Mostly my issues were that I had cravings for old, familiar “cooked” foods that I found hard to shake, & I felt a bit stuck for variety in food (as I’m quite a picky eater).
I expected her to be useful but not THIS useful! The phone-call was a revelation — it was absolutely amazing. Sometimes when you’re having trouble with something, having someone else there to ask the right questions is all you need, & all of a sudden your problem starts to unravel & you realise the root cause of it. Well, Karen asked me some totally brilliant questions — & I came away from the phone-call with all of my problems solved!
It was one of the most interesting phone-calls I’ve ever had, for sure. I just love getting to the bottom of a problem & gaining a deeper understanding of why I do what I do! I think anyone interested in going raw (or who is currently making alterations to their diet) will find this a really useful thing to listen to, because many of the questions she asks me you will be able to ask yourself.
We’re going to do a follow-up call in about 3 weeks time, to chart my progress & see how I’ve applied the new information! That will also be made available for you to listen to.
So, I hope you enjoy the MP3 — let me know what you think!
Oh, & for those of you who are interested, Karen sends out a weekly newsletter on Fridays called Successfully Raw, with recipes & tips for staying raw. You also get 10 raw recipes free when you sign up. Woo! Just in time for Easter Sunday! :D
I’ll be writing more about my progress over the coming weeks, so stay tuned!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [22] Tags: advice,
inspiration,
life,
podcast,
productivity,
yum Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Themed Outfits For Intellectuals
[ 16 March 2008, 21:10 ]
I recently had a girl write to me, saying that she was sick of wearing jeans to university every day, & could I please come up with some potential outfits for her to wear? When she added, “Maybe they could be themed according to what people were studying”, a light-bulb went off in my head & I thought, YES! Yes! I WILL do that for you! It’s too great a concept not to.
For the meticulous chemistry student! Wow them with your knowledge of the periodic table & love of heavy metal(s)!
For the zany photography student! Sparkly shoes that catch the light can be used as an impromptu bounce flash!
For the excitable make-up artist in training! T-shirt with snide saying proves your devotion to the art!
For the miniature archaeologist! Perfect for those of you who only ever listen to The Bangles & make terrible jokes!
How does King Tut’s secretary answer his calls?
“He can’t talk right now, he’s all wrapped up!”
For the fledgling illustrator! Ahhhh… this outfit makes me want to be an artist.
Do you ever dress on theme for what you’re studying? I’d love to see a nutritionist wearing a t-shirt by Johnny Cupcakes... someone at police training college wearing a clip-on moustache… or a literature major wearing Busted’s Prose Before Hos tee!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [92] Tags: advice,
aesthetic,
consumption,
inspiration,
madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Interview With Mike Dooley
[ 11 March 2008, 17:05 ]
Gala Darling – Interview With Mike Dooley (MP3)
Click to listen now, or save it for later!
Yesterday I was exceptionally fortunate to be able to interview Mike Dooley of Notes From The Universe fame! I met him at his hotel & we proceeded to sit down & natter about life, the universe & everything. I captured it all on my sparkly new dictaphone for your listening pleasure!
Additionally, I went to his lecture last night & it absolutely blew my socks off, & we’re about to head out to his all-day seminar. It’s like Mike Dooley mania up here in the iCiNG Bowl! If anyone in Melbourne has the urge to skip out on work & do something inspiring & fulfilling instead, come along to the seminar! Details here.
I hope you enjoy the interview… we had a lot of fun putting it together for you!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [20] Tags: inspiration,
life,
podcast,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Cute Coats (& How To Wear Them)
[ 7 March 2008, 23:22 ]
So, you’ve read How To Buy A Winter Coat. Now you just need to decide what you want! Here are some of my top picks & a few tips on how to wear them.
Splash out on a hooded waterproof jacket in a bright colour that you love & matches the rest of your wardrobe. Wear it on days when you want to bring a little excitement to your rainy city! Bonus points: Buy an umbrella in a matching colour for undeniable adorability!
Hunt out a cropped little leather jacket for maximum versatility. They’re super-warm & totally chic. Pair it with feminine pieces (like fitted skirts & high heels) to make a stylish impact & avoid the “Where’d you park your Harley?“ comments! Bonus points: Buy a vintage leather jacket on Ebay — you’ll get a good deal, & even better, it’ll be original!
Invest in a tuxedo jacket to dress up sleek, simple outfits. Team black & white with one other accent colour & you’ll feel like the cutest girl on the street. Don’t be afraid to wear fun, silly accessories! Bonus points: Tuxedo jackets work really well over formal cocktail dresses — kind of like you stole your lover’s jacket to keep you warm.
Swoon over a dress coat if you live in a really cold climate or your boss is a sadist who keeps the office freezing at all times! A great dress coat can be your entire outfit if you want it to be, but it also adds flair to anything underneath. Bonus points: Buy a fabulous belt in a contrasting colour to wear over the top & add shape to your outfit!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [39] Tags: aesthetic,
consumption,
how to,
inspiration,
madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Being Happy
[ 6 March 2008, 22:17 ]
You can also listen to this as a podcast!
Gala Darling – Being Happy (MP3)
Click to listen, or save-as for fun in the future!
What is happiness? It’s hard to say, but it’s not what many people think it is. Happiness doesn’t magically come to you with a new pair of shoes, a lean body, a bulging bank account or 5 hours of sex every day. Nor does it materialise after you retire, get married, have a child or quit your job. It’s a little bit more complicated than that.
Happiness is not defined by external circumstances — it is an attitude, something that comes from within. There is no one answer, but here are some things that have improved my life immeasurably — & can do the same for you.
Be true to yourself
Commit to being yourself. Stop trying to impress or please other people — this is a quick route to misery & discontent. After all, when it comes to your life, who matters most? You. Don’t feel obligated to like the same things your boyfriend does, or to go into a career that your parents want for you. You are the one who has to live with the consequences of your choices, so make sure everything you do is in line with your loves, your desires, your ambitions.
Learn to love & accept yourself, regardless of your financial situation, perceived intellect, education level, body size or style. Learn to accept & forgive yourself, no matter what mistakes you may have made in the past. All of these things are trivial & don’t matter. If you were suddenly awarded a master’s degree or a size 0 frame, it wouldn’t change who you are or how you truly feel inside. Recognise all these things as unimportant; diversions from what really matters. Getting comfortable with who you REALLY are inside is what counts. Once you have that, anything on top of that is just gravy, baby.
Don’t label yourself: it only restricts & limits you. Learn how to improve yourself & commit to making yourself a better person. Be open to adventure, be wild, make glorious messes. Act with integrity. Be honest. Speak with intention — don’t dumb yourself down or gossip or make fun of other people. Let go of any guilt, stop worrying, release yourself from the expectations of others. Live the life you want to live.
“Be good to yourself, because nobody else has the power to make you happy!” — George Michael
Use affirmations
The idea of an affirmation is that it is something you say regularly which helps to combat any negative self-talk you have. The best way to plot out some affirmations for yourself is to take stock of your life, decide what isn’t working for you & then go about fixing it. So, let’s say your major problem (in your opinion) is that you don’t have any friends. The affirmation you come up with might be something like, “I am popular with a vibrant social life!”
Now, the problem with affirmations is that a lot of people have the wrong idea about them. They seem to think that just sitting down & repeating something over & over is going to change their life. Well, it’s not that simple. If you actually want to move towards your goal (having lots of friends), you need to go deeper & also take action.
As much as we like to think we are ruled by our intellect, we’re not. We are ruled by our emotions. So you can’t just say something & hope that it will change you — it might, but it will be a very slow process. There is no point in saying something (“I am a famous actress!”) when your emotions are saying the opposite (‘Oh my god I’m a failure how am I going to pay the bills this week this is so ridiculous HELP!’). Your emotions are always going to win that battle.
So if you want to make affirmations work for you, you need to feel what you’re saying. How would you feel if you were a famous actress? Elated, happy, confident, powerful? Okay then — concentrate on those emotions as you say your affirmations. Feel them build up inside you so that they are so strong & powerful that they make you feel like you’re going to explode. The more that you feel that feeling, the faster you will draw it to you.
When it comes to taking action, think about the differences between these 3 possible ways of behaving.
1. You feel lonely because you have no friends, so you sit around feeling bad about it.
2. You feel lonely because you have no friends, so you sit around telling yourself you have them — but still don’t really believe it.
3. You don’t feel as lonely because when you say your affirmations, you feel the love that is coming to you — & when you leave the house, you smile at the people you meet.
Of course, option 3 is the one that is going to net the fastest & most positive results!
Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to use affirmations that resonate with you. When I say ‘resonate’, I mean something that gets you excited, sends chills up your spine, makes you want to leap up & start kicking ass! We are all different so what works for you may not work for me. For example, saying “I am a dancing child of light” does nothing for me. However, “I am a fabulous, determined ass-kicker” might. Your affirmations don’t have to have soft edges or flowery words — feel free to swear or be as aggressive as you like. Just make sure it’s something that juices you up!
What’s better — optimism or pessimism?
Well, it’s not quite that simple. While optimism has been scientifically proven to be better for your health, when it comes to very high-risk activities (like flying a plane after having a couple of drinks), it can be useful to think pessimistically — to use it as a protective tool.
However, on the whole, optimism is the way to go. We are not all “born optimists” — a lot of it depends on how we were raised & what messages we were surrounded with as we were growing up. The good news is that even if your father wore a sandwich board that said “The end is nigh!”, you can learn optimism. All hope is not lost!
So, how do you know whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist? The general measure tends to be how you react to failure. Pessimists think that their failures are personal (their fault), pervasive (it’s always like this) & permanent (it’s never going to change). Optimists, on the other hand, tend to believe that maybe other circumstances contributed to the bad thing happening, that this one bad thing is just a fluke & that it will change soon. You can get more information on that by looking at this optimism chart.
Mirei said in a comment recently that it was possible to be an optimist without hugging puppies! I couldn’t agree more. Some of the most successful people I know aren’t even particularly nice! They’d rather kick your ass in a race than sit around chanting. But they are optimistic about their circumstances & their life — & it has helped them do as well as they have.
If you need further encouragement to make the switch to being optimistic, consider these facts. Pessimism in early life is a very consistent predictor of poor health in later life, & psychiatrists have found that training clinically depressed people to think optimistically relieves depression better than medication!
“If you are a pessimist… then you are about eight times as likely to get depressed, you are less likely to succeed at work, your personal relationships are more likely to break up, and you are likely to have a shorter and more illness-filled life.” — Dr. Martin Seligman
An article in The Archives of General Psychiatry (Nov 2004) states that major depression is a known risk factor in cardiovascular death – this isn’t new news. Optimists have a 55% lower risk of death from all causes (“all-cause death”) and a 23% lower risk of cardiovascular death than pessimists. Optimists are simply healthier people. (Link.)
To learn how to think more optimistically, check out optimism & happiness, how to become more of an optimist & become an optimist & nurture it!
Set goals & get motivated
When we set goals & come up with things we want to achieve, it helps to give us direction. Otherwise it can be all too easy to drift aimlessly. Our life turns into a dull routine where all we do is go to work, eat dinner & fall asleep. Without goals or ambitions, we run the risk of waking up at age 60 & wondering where our life went — or spending years doing something that makes us miserable, simply because we don’t know how to escape.
Think about your favourite people throughout history: actors, writers, musicians, artists & scientists. If they didn’t have goals or motivation, you would probably have never heard of them. Maybe they would have died without having contributed anything to remember them by. If you want to be exceptional or achieve something significant, the very first step is to work out what you want.
Have a read of How To Set Amazing Goals & Motivation to get on the right path!
Exercise
We all know that exercise is good for us, but why? Well, it helps you live longer, assists in developing new brain cells, enhances your mental capabilities, lowers cholesterol & blood pressure, & helps you lose weight. But the most important thing in terms of happiness is that it stimulates endorphin in the brain & reduces the stress hormone cortisol. Some studies have found that regular exercise is more effective than antidepressants in terms of minimising depression! Even better, exercise is free & doesn’t require a prescription!
Sometimes exercise can seem like a drag, but it doesn’t have to be some dull regimented thing that you suffer through. Jump on your bed or boogie as you vacuum, walk faster when you’re out shopping or climb trees. Anything that raises your heart-rate makes you feel really really good, so do it as often as you can!
Eat well
I always thought that the concept of eating properly was a bit of a myth. I mean, I guess it had health benefits — like less heart disease — but I never really thought that it changed how you felt day-to-day. What I have discovered, though, since going raw, is that what you eat absolutely impacts on your emotions & mental state.
In short: Eat your greens! Drink lots of water! (Far more than you even thought possible!) Try to avoid crazy processed foods (aka, anything neon or in 5 layers of plastic) & eat as many fresh things as you can. The end results — beautiful skin, a fabulous mood, increased energy & a happy body — are so worth it.
Get in control of your life
“Between stimulus & response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth & our freedom.” — Viktor E. Frankl
While sometimes we can’t do anything about the way other people behave towards us, make no mistake — you are in complete control of how you respond. People are free to be as rude, insulting & callous as they like, but you don’t have to be! Take the higher ground! Getting angry & having a whinge about how people are “so awful” doesn’t do anything to empower you or make you feel better!
By that same token, don’t allow anyone to bully you into anything you don’t want. Resign from that job you loathe, leave the girlfriend who’s pressuring you to get her pregnant, tell your mother to stop interfering in your life. You are in control of what you do, who you love & how you live, & you don’t have to take any shit from anyone! Ever!
Get involved
You don’t necessarily have to be the most popular person in the world, but a little involvement in your community can go a long way towards making you feel better about yourself. It doesn’t have to be your local, physical community either — jump into your favourite Harry Potter group online, join a book club or volunteer to teach German lessons at the place down the road. You’ll meet cool people & you’ll also feel like you’re contributing something good to the world.
It’s really important for us to feel connections with other people. It can help us feel less alone & allow us to meet people with whom we have things in common. Being totally isolated for long periods can be really hard on the psyche — there’s a reason why solitary confinement is the harshest punishment (before death, anyway)! Even getting a part-time job that causes you to interact with lots of people on a regular basis can make you feel really good.
Anyway, don’t just keep to yourself! You’re too awesome to be a hermit!
Avoid negative people
We all know (or have known) someone who suffers from a major case of the negatives. They are a total drag to be around, always raining on your parade & turning the most inconsequential event into a huge downer. The good news is that you don’t have to have anything to do with them!
Read my article on Negative People for more information!
Imagine you’re plotting a graph. One line stipulates the level of desire you have for material possessions. Another indicates how much “stuff” you have already. Zen teachings say that in order to be happy, you can do one of two things: increase how much stuff you have, or decrease your desire. The typical Western way to deal with this is to feel like we need moremoremore, but of course, as we consume, our desires grow too. If you want to get out of the rat race, living simply is one of the best choices.
There are many different ways of living simply. No Impact Man is one example of how to downshift your life — he, his wife & daughter made a commitment to not buying anything (except for absolute essentials) for a year. He even goes so far as to compost his poop! Of course, composting your excrement is a personal choice, & not the sort of thing that appeals to everyone! Your idea of living simply might just be to take stock of what things you’d be okay not having, & then start to live in that direction.
Gratitude
Those of you who regularly participate in Things I Love Thursday already know the effect that expressing gratitude has on your life. It’s quite amazing — if you sit down & take some time to think about the things in your life for which you are truly happy, the positive after-effects last all day. While sometimes looking at a picture of a puppy will make you smile, when we find examples from our lives of things that are going well, it is a more solid anchor on which to base our happiness.
One of the coolest things about Things I Love Thursday is that often in the comments, people say “Ooh, I’ve been looking forward to this all week & making a list to post!”. That’s fantastic, because ideally gratitude should be something we focus on really regularly — every day, if possible. There are lots of ways to do this, such as starting a gratitude journal or making thankfulness a part of your daily routine. You could try listing off five things for which you’re grateful before getting out of, or into bed, or thinking about it while you brush your teeth. If you have a partner or friend who wants to try it out, make it a habit to randomly say, “Okay, tell me ten things you’re grateful right now!”
Another fabulous thing about gratitude is that it really helps bring us into the present moment. While some of the items on your list might have happened a while ago, they are still obviously having a positive influence on your life right now — which helps us focus on this very minute, this very second, this breath, this heart-beat. !
The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to feel loved. McCollough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude encourages another. (Link.)
Traumatic memories fade into the background for people who regularly feel grateful, Watkins’s experiments show. Troublesome thoughts pop up less frequently and with less intensity, which suggests that gratitude may enhance emotional healing. Thankfulness helps the brain fully process events, Watkins speculates. Grateful people achieve closure by making sense of negative events so that they mesh with a generally positive outlook.
For more information, check out gratitude is good for you & make a gratitude adjustment!
“Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time.” — Viktor E. Frankl
P.S. If you’re not sure how happy you are, you can take a test! How happy are you?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [48] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
life,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 5 March 2008, 19:41 ]
Photo key:
1. yukata, 2. kyocera, 3. untitled, 4. rippling reflection
Working on my podcast — I’m changing the format so that it is more like a radio show & less like me just reading out an article! It’s really exciting & a whole new challenge. I can’t wait until the first one is done! I hope you all enjoy it… I think you will!
Skins & Angel — My two new favourite shows. Skins is hilarious & heart-breaking at the same time (& I adore Cassie, she is just too cute). Angel is all terrible acting but you know, the occasional appearance of Spike is keeping me interested. (I’m not far into either so please don’t tell me any spoilers or I’ll cry!) One of my favourite things to do at the end of the night when I’m exhausted from working & thinking is to crawl into bed with lover-boy & watch an episode or two. Best ever.
Blazing my own trail — Sometimes it can be hard for me to know where I should be directing my energy or where I want iCiNG to go. Especially because I feel like there aren’t a lot of people who I can ask for advice on the subject. A lot of what I’m doing is breaking new ground & no one has done it before. It can be kind of scary sometimes but mostly it is exhilirating & wild! It is such an incredible position to be in — to be able to choose your own limits & partnerships, to make decisions that have real impact & write things that make a difference! I am so glad & so fortunate.
My mirror-ball — Did I mention this last week? Well, if I did, it’s worth saying again. I don’t have the mirror-ball hanging up yet, it is just sitting on our dinner table because I want to find the best possible place for it, but it still does the trick. I LOVE walking into the iCiNG Bowl in the morning to see tiny circles of light all over the ceiling & scattered across the kitchen. It’s like entering some strange & beautiful galaxy. It is really amazing & fills me with happiness.
Ninagawa Mika
Ninagawa Mika — My new favourite photographer. Super-high saturation, sexy girls & lots of joy. It’s a hard combination to beat!
Hunting around at the market — It’s all still very new to me. We have a fun little routine: we wake up super-early, I crawl into my knee-length cardigan (I have had it for a year but I still adore it), we grab our trolley (we have a little granny cart! I want to stick jewels all over it) & set out for the market. It’s not far so we walk & talk & check the mail & drink smoothies. Then we go to our favourite stalls & talk to the owners & pick the loveliest-looking things. I feel like a total fruit & vegetable virgin so I am always pointing at things & asking, “What’s this like?”. Today, for example, we bought kiwiberries (like a miniature kiwifruit!), a pomegranate (I’ve never had one!) & fresh figs. We also ordered a tray of wheatgrass to be collected next week — eep, exciting! A miniature lawn in our kitchen! & of course I love the end result, too: a kitchen full of exotic, delicious delights!
New musique — My current favourites are Boxcutter’s live set on Nova FM (downloadable!), Burial (still), Autechre’s new album Quaristice, Neptunes Present: Clones & IAMX!
Planning travel — New Zealand & possibly Sydney in April are on the cards, as well as New York & San Francisco in September! I can’t tell you how excited I am!!! I’ve been plotting hotels. Library Hotel, Hotel on Rivington, The Alex, 60 Thompson or Soho House? WHO KNOWS? (I love organising travel, I am such a geek. Eeee!)
Honourable mentions: Lots of tapping (& lots of sleep & water to help it process); anticipation (my parents arrive tomorrow & are staying until Tuesday!); sore muscles massaged with arnica; wonderful packages in the mail (this morning I received two mind-blowing soaps from Soapylove which smell & look incredible!); this amazing necklace (NSFW!); all your comments on my House of Holland post yesterday (you’re all so clever, I’m so proud! Cluck cluck!); re-shuffling all the pictures on my lamp (it is covered in purikura & postcards!) & Slug! Oh, & also — the fact that Things I Love Thursday has now been going for 30 WEEKS with no signs of slowing down… how INCREDIBLE is that?!
“Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.” — Rainer Maria Rilke
Now then, sweet poodles & nonpareils! Open your chests & strum a few notes on your heart-strings! Tell us what’s going on in your life — make a big list of all the things that have you spontaneously celebrating, kissing the earth & smiling as you walk down the street. We want to hear it, please add your love to ours!
(& if you’ve posted your own list on your blog, don’t forget to nab a badge from the Participate page!)
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [116] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
life,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Fun Accessories
[ 3 March 2008, 20:08 ]
Sometimes all you need to take an outfit from drab to fab — or as I like to say, “From ‘up the creek’ to magnifique!” — is the addition of a couple of well-chosen accessories. Anyone can wear a white shirt, but what about a white shirt with a huge necklace made from doll heads? Thankfully, we’re not just restricted to what we can find in the mall any more. The internet is the best ever place to source weird & decadent accessories, from octopus tentacles in jars worn as necklaces to a hat befitting of a sea nymph!
Here are some of the coolest things I’ve found recently!
From top to bottom…
These Baby Holga cameras come in 8 colours (pink, blue, yellow, grey, red, green, purple & white) & are tiny enough to sling around your neck. I love that you can coordinate them with your outfits as well as using them to capture moments & take sneaky spy shots! They are so cute & super-cool. I want one a lot, especially after seeing this gallery! (Super-sleuth hint: they sell for practically nothing [$12!] on Ebay.)
Stephanie Simek’s eyelash necklace is so delightfully weird that I couldn’t leave it out! She describes them as “doing your dreaming for you”, which is too cute. There are a few different variations — some have a pair of lashes, while others drip pearls. They are top notch quality, too — the lashes are 100% human hair set with sterling silver. They look beautiful on, as Kris Atomic so fabulously demonstrates! At a mere $30, you’d be maaaad not to buy one!
When I first saw these Druzy rings I almost fell over. They’re just incredible. They are rings carved straight from the inside of a huge geode (those big rocks full of crystals) — so they are totally unique & individual. Each one is a different size, shape or colour. They come in hot pink, vibrant violet & Moroccan blue (among other colours) so you’re sure to be able to find one in your favourite hue. Talk about a show-stopper. How could you NOT comment on this if you saw it on someone’s finger? Apparently they are quite light to wear, too. I think I’m having palpitations!
Sometimes I compile lists in my head of what an “adult” does or has, & ponder, ‘When do you know that you are actually an adult?’ It’s quite a funny thing to discuss with people because we all have very different ideas of what it means. Anyway, I have always maintained that an “adult” owns a watch. When I was a child, I admit to being a bit Jessica Wakefield on it — you know, she was the twin from Sweet Valley High who never wore a watch because she was wild & carefree & I thought, ‘I want to be like that!’. I have since come to terms with the fact that I am basically a huge nerd who likes to be organised, hence, I am on the hunt for a sexy watch. This isn’t quite my dream watch, but the Nooka Zirc White is certainly a stylish wee thing, & far too lovely not to mention.
Gloves are in (I would say “Hooray!” but honestly, when are they ever not in during winter?) & mercifully, many glove manufacturers are cottoning on to the fact that consumers want more choice when it comes to keeping their fingers toasty. Ruching & buttons & shocking colours are all over the place, & it is fabulous. I am a huge fan of these Ashley gloves by Molly N, a New Zealand company. They are so very White Rabbit. Pair with a fob watch & waistcoat for maximum effect.
Suburbs getting you down? Tired of the constant drone of lawn-mowers & menopausal women hooning around in SUVs? Ahhh, what you need is a trip to gay Paree! In the mind, anyway. After you’re done watching Une Femme Est Une Femme for the millionth time, & you’re suffering from major cheese-induced fatigue, sling this Paris tote over your shoulder & bring a bit of culture to your neighbourhood.
A bit o’ bling never goes amiss, especially when it only costs a measly $18 for 6 giant rings! If you’re planning on meeting Victoria Beckham in the near future & you’d like to wear something that makes her cry, “THAT IS MAJOR!”, these jumbo cocktail rings from Fred Flare are it. Go forth & sparkle!
I have to tell you a secret — the Mixed Tape Transformer necklace & the AI necklace are both from one of my favourite treasure purveyors on the whole internet, Tokyomade. So I am a little bit biased but the best thing is that these necklaces both come apart for superb fiddling & mucking about opportunities! The transformer necklace actually turns back into an innocent-looking cassette tape, while the AI necklace breaks down into a series of sexy mechanical-looking pieces. Love it. No more grappling awkwardly with your phone while you wait around in public — now you can just hang out with the art around your neck & be perfectly content!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [35] Tags: consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 27 February 2008, 17:21 ]
Hello cuties! I know that lots of you are now doing Things I Love Thursday on your own sites & blogs! It makes me so happy, I’m like a proud mother! Cluck cluck! Anyway, I have made up some little banners that you can use if you want to (it’s not compulsory!) — they just have cute pictures & say “Things I Love Thursday” on them. If you want to swipe one, you can check them out on the Participate page!
Et maintenant, without further ado, here is my list of Things I LOVE Thursday!
Soy hazelnut hot chocolate — Shamefully, it is from Starbucks, but it is very tasty! I think it probably has about 36,000 pounds of sugar in it but, well, sometimes a major chocolate shot is just what a girl needs to get her through the day.
Karl Lagerfeld — The one & only. He’s just so fabulous. I love seeing him in documentaries — he speaks so quickly & everything he says is brilliant & bold. He’s like a hilarious quote generator. I just adore him.
My new digital dictaphone — It’s an Olympus WS-300M (as recommended by Miranda, thank you!) & it rocks my world! I love it so much. I have been carrying it around with me & rambling into it as I see fit. It’s tiny, about the size of a packet of chewing gum, & it is sooo much fun. I had a dictaphone when I was a kid & as an only child, it was my favourite toy ever. Even better than Nintendo if you ask me. So, it brings back very fond memories (mostly of wandering around putting on voices & making up stories). I have grand plans for this dictaphone, let me tell you! I also think I’m going to buy some super-shiny crystal stickers & bling it up… Ooh! I’m such a magpie!
Dhrumil — Of We Like It Raw & Give It To Me Raw fame. He is a champ. Listen to this & this & just try to tell me differently! I love his energy & charisma, it’s so exciting just to listen to!
Clearing my intentions — There’s some old saying that goes, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”. I like to use this in terms of working out what I want, too. If I don’t know what I want in certain areas (work, lifestyle, relationships), I attract all kinds of things that aren’t quite right. The best way I know to clear your intentions is to grab some index cards, write headings at the top (like ‘Friends’ or ‘Myself’) & then do a bullet-point list of how you would like those things to be. Phrase it positively, i.e., instead of “Not a liar”, you’d write “Honest”. Look at the cards regularly & add to them & change them, but focus on them & visualise those things being true for you NOW. You will be amazed at what happens, I promise!
Dubstep — One of my new favourite things. If you haven’t heard Burial’s Untrue album, you are missing out in a big way. I also strongly recommend getting your paws on anything by Skream, Benga, Arovane, Monolake & Boxcutter. It’s all perfect grey sky music — which describes this morning pretty well!
Rhymesayers Entertainment — Best independent hip-hop label in existence (& since it was founded by my favourite rapper, it has a special place in my heart). They’re so cool & down to earth & are devoted to breaking new ground, & every time I have any kind of interaction with them, I feel good afterwards. If you want a real crash course in what great hip-hop is like, go to their site & buy a bunch of albums!
I think Slug is one of the most crushed-on rappers of all time.
Holographic nails! I can’t help myself, it is my magpie nature. My favourite holographic nailpolish is OPI’s ‘Glamour’ from their Designer Series. (It’s not on their site any more but you could definitely find it on Ebay.) It’s a fabulous violet with miniscule holographic flacks — the perfect polish for any intergalactic love warrior!
Going through old pictures — I haven’t saved much to Flickr recently, so I’ve been going through my pictures to find something for this post. I don’t know how it happened, maybe just good planning, but somehow I have managed to keep all my pictures since… well, basically since I got online (1996). It is amazing to see what I liked & what I saved. It is basically a catalogue of my taste from my teenage years through to the present day, which I think is incredible. All morning I’ve been looking through the photos of these girls whose sites I used to read & whose words I used to treasure. Who knows where they are today or what they’re doing?
Honourable mentions: Procellous grey skies; cosy sweatshirts that feel like a hug; vibrant connections with people in other cities; watching Angel in bed with loverboy; making travel plans; meeting new people with passion that matches your own; reading about finance (haha); excitement & anticipation!
I asked Audrey for his TiLT list too, & he said…
My new hair! After having to spend just over a week with my shock of red, I had a consult with the amazing Kat at Wildilocks. Despite their obvious love of all things dark and kooky, she embraced the chance to get her hands dirty and play around with the colour. It was a great experience — the staff are open and friendly yet there’s still a definite air of professionalism in the salon. Everything was discussed and explained, which I think is important when somebody is mixing chemicals to put on your scalp. And the end result is perfect: I feel like me again.
iTunes and iPod! I finally bit the bullet and joined the 21st Century and bought my first ever iPod. This isn’t just a ‘I want to look cool and ignore the rest of the world while I’m on the tram’ thing either. I’m actually on a quest to simplify and organise my life and the amount of stuff I have. Once I have all my music organised I can get rid of a lot of clutter (finally).
Reorganising my music collection which has also made me nostalgic for the songs I grew up on. I’m now playing all my old albums as I rip them into iTunes and I’m having all sorts of flashbacks to high school and the like.
Gossip Girl. Yes, I too have succumbed to the hype and am totally hooked. I love the way that B is the bitchy, power-hungry mogul of their scene, yet seems to be the smallest character. Not sure if it’s just an accident from casting, but I think there’s actually a deeper, hidden meaning behind the way this pint sized little girl can be so manipulative and evil. Also, Chuck is officially on my Style Icon list. Those blazers and those SCARVES! Wow.
The weather today! It’s gloomy and rain is pelting on the roof. Lord, its so good. A good excuse to stay inside and get jobs done. Plus I’ve finally pulled my coats and jackets out from storage. Can’t wait to get out there, grab some warm caffeinated beverages, jump in puddles and take advantage of this briskness.
Masseurs. I’m going through a rough patch at the moment, but guys can benefit from a little pampering just as much as girls.
“The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love & feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti
Join us for a big love-fest (or as Madonna would say, “a metaphysical orgy”)! What do you love this week? Big cups of tea? The promise of spring? Fashion shows? Dressing in only one colour? Your boyfriend’s moustache?! Tell us — we’ll all blow kisses in the same direction!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [110] Tags: inspiration,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Wow
[ 26 February 2008, 04:31 ]
This video just rocked my world. Imagine how different your life would be if watching this was part of your morning routine!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [65] Tags: inspiration,
life,
video Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Neogoth
[ 17 February 2008, 20:09 ]
It seems ironic that a little over a year after I wrote my first ever article — Fashion Help For Recovering Goths — I’m now writing about goth as a high fashion trend. But before you go thinking I’m just switching my position willy-nilly, I should explain that there is a marked difference between that piece & this one. FHFRG was about changing old, staid habits & embracing a new you, while neogoth is about adopting a dark aesthetic but making it stylish & sophisticated. So you see, they’re both about positive change — just in different ways.
So, what’s neogoth about, anyway? First of all, it has nothing to do with The Matrix — perish the thought! Nor does it have anything to do with bright, neon colours. ‘Neo’ is meant here to mean recent or new. Combine that with ‘goth’ & you get a fresh, modern version of the goth aesthetic. & not a moment too soon!
I found out about neogoth recently by having a dig around on the Fashion Spot (best fashion forums ever). Someone started a thread about neogoth in 2005, but the look seems to have really exploded & started blossoming recently. My guess is that the trend-setters are feeling a bit fed up with pastels & fluoro colours, & are rebelling. The thread is fabulous eye candy, lots of editorial shots & runway ensembles, but I thought a DIY guide might be useful.
While it would be easy to just throw on a whole lot of black & feel like that was enough, that’s not quite it. The whole idea of neogoth is that it is a more grown-up, sophisticated look. All the usual components of the goth look — dyed black hair, facial piercings, corsets, striped stockings & combat boots — aren’t going to help you out if you want to dabble in this aesthetic.
Neogoth is about texture. Wool, silk, lace & leather. Wood, plastic & lacquer. Without texture there is no neogoth — just someone wearing lots of darkly-hued clothing. Some people wear black to hide themselves away, minimise themselves, appear invisible. Neogoth is about doing the opposite: making a statement, dressing it up, putting in an effort & looking fabulous.
I really feel that neogoth isn’t just about wearing black. You can go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum & wear all white & still rock the look. To me, it is mostly about attitude — & attitude can be conveyed in the smallest ways. An accessory, a style of make-up or even a hairstyle can say more about you, your mood or your aesthetic than an entire ‘neogoth-themed’ outfit from the latest collections.
Colleen of Panic Industry coined the phrase “poisoned femininity“ to describe a lot of what she sees on the catwalk at the moment, & I think that is worth incorporating into the whole neogoth thing. It’s not just clothing, it’s about feelings & mood. It’s about playing up the elements of mystery, drama & intrigue. It’s about being delicate with a dark edge, being unexpected & a little sick around the edges. Kind of like that broken dolly thing from the 90’s, just more grown-up.
I know that the word ‘goth’ throws people sometimes, so to be clear: you don’t have to dress like you’re on your way to a Renaissance Fair! Nor is there any need to get all Trenchcoat Mafia on it! Neogoth should be über-modern. Skyscraper shoes, closely-tailored garments, futuristic sunglasses — architecture with clothing.
Think sharply-cut blazers, patterned stockings, patent leather belts around the waist, scarves, unconventional hair & layers. Think platform shoes, luxurious clutches & epic nailpolish.
Here are some outfits I put together using Polyvore which help illustrate my point!
For vampy man-catching drinks: Giles Kruger Razor dress, Tarina Tarantino earrings, Alexander McQueen silk chiffon skull scarf, Alexander McQueen skull clasp clutch & Christian Louboutin Architek leather slingbacks.
For fabulous business lunches: Bodyamr Balla mini dress, Lanvin necklace, Phillippe Audibert opal bracelet, a bag & Balenciaga pull-on cowboy boots.
For knock-‘em-dead moments: Jovovich-Hawk Sunny lace detail dress, Lacoste backpack, Lanvin oxford pumps, assorted bangles.
For manga moments: Hamish Morrow hooded jersey dress, Tarina Tarantino necklace, Elisa Atheniense bag, Miu Miu leather biker boots.
For relaxed Fridays at the office: Anna Sui floral print tunic, Sonia Rykiel sunglasses, Topshop skinny jeans, Anya Hindmarch Shirley patent tote & Alexander McQueen striped leather pumps.
For vampire-slaying in small, dusty towns: Marchesa strapless embroidered dress, Celine skinny silk chiffon scarf, locket necklace, rosary, Miss Selfridge lace stockings, Urban Outfitters cowboy boots, OPI nailpolish & assorted bangles.
My general consensus is that neogoth is a fantastic new style for people who want to do something different, as well as for people for whom black is like comfort food. Just remember to push it a bit, & you’ll be right as rain.
Extra For Experts:
Looking to the 1980s – darkly: Giles Deacon, Gareth Pugh and Roksanda Ilincic by Suzy Menkes of the International Herald Tribune.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [54] Tags: aesthetic,
how to,
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madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Weekly Resolutions
[ 17 February 2008, 17:57 ]
Every Sunday night, I plan the week ahead: appointments (always v. serious, like getting a manicure or picking up something from the tailor), articles I’m going to write, emails I need to compose. I grab my Moleskine diary & a pen & start plotting it out. It’s always the last thing I do on a Sunday, & it makes me feel really good because I can go to sleep knowing my schedule for the next 7 days. Of course, it is always open to interpretation & alterations, but having a rough outline means I don’t have to panic about writing subjects or deal with that dreaded “I have to do something but I don’t know what it is!” feeling.
Last night, as I did it, I realised that there were a few things I wanted to do this coming week. Not on a specific day, just generic aims. As I recited them off to my boyfriend, I started to ponder the concept of having weekly resolutions. I know that New Year’s resolutions can be quite daunting to a lot of people, which I’m sure isn’t helped by the fact that we are always expected to set great hulking goals for ourselves (like “Solve world hunger” & “Organise closet”). But if we could break down the time-frame, surely that would make it easier?
With this in mind, I present to you… my weekly resolutions!
Explanations:
I ate lots of rubbish last week. Consequently, my skin broke out like mad. I also became overwhelmingly bored with salads & smoothies. This week I resolve to eat more fresh, raw treats, guzzle lots of water & fuel myself properly.
Vogue UK is running a “young talent” competition, open to anyone under the age of 25. It doesn’t say anything about needing to be a UK resident, but as I am a UK citizen, I figure I’m probably okay. The prize — a month’s work experience at Vogue — would be truly amazing.
I am going to jump on my miniature trampoline every morning before I start working! I have made a playlist in iTunes called “jumping!”. Hee. Just to get the blood pumping & to amp me up for the day ahead.
Kind of self-explanatory. But I want to be up at 7.30 every morning. I feel so much better when I wake up early & get into the day! This also means not staying up too far past midnight (unless there is something very fun going on).
My email can be a bit beastly at times. I receive a lot of it. It is very overwhelming if I leave it for too long. Ergo, I resolve to deal with it every day, rather than leaving it for a week (etc.).
I’m going to put my resolutions on my desk, next to my keyboard (where I have another index card with some more specific goals). I’m expecting that having something so focussed in easy view will help me stay on track.
I asked Audrey if he had any resolutions for the week, & he said his are:
To go to bed at a reasonable hour every night
Pick a random interstate friend and make them a care package
Do SOMETHING every night this week, not just go straight home
So, what do you think about the concept of weekly resolutions? Do you think that they might help you? One thing that people always say about goal-setting (big, small, long- or short-term) is that if you make your goals public — i.e., you share them with others — you are more likely to achieve them. Sharing an ambition makes it real, & helps commit you to the cause. With that in mind, I invite you to write about your weekly resolutions here. Hopefully we can all lift each other up to make them happen!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [54] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
life,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Valentine's Day Panic!
[ 13 February 2008, 05:03 ]
Don’t have anything ready for tomorrow?
Make a mixtape for your beloved! This way you get to impress them with your taste & seduce them at the same time! Of course, it doesn’t have to be on an actual cassette — make them a playlist for their MP3 player or burn them a CD if it makes more sense. Remember to decorate the case!
“To me, making a tape is like writing a letter — there’s a lot of erasing and rethinking and starting again. A good compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do. You’ve got to kick off with a corker, to hold the attention (I started with “Got to Get You Off My Mind,” but then realized that she might not get any further than track one, side one if I delivered what she wanted straightaway, so I buried it in the middle of side two), and then you’ve got to up it a notch, or cool it a notch, and you can’t have white music and black music together, unless the white music sounds like black music, and you can’t have two tracks by the same artist side by side, unless you’ve done the whole thing in pairs and… oh, there are loads of rules.” — Nick Hornby, High Fidelity
Because putting songs together is fun, here is my prototype mixtape for you, my nonpareils!
Michael Jackson – This Place Hotel
Timbaland – Give It To Me
Notorious B.I.G. – Another
Madonna – Nobody Knows Me
DJ Magnet – Love Comes Running Up That Hill Quickly
Atmosphere – The Woman With The Tattooed Hands
Mary J. Blige – About You
Souls Of Mischief – 93 ‘til Infinity
Flight Of The Conchords – Bret You’ve Got It Going On
Magnetic Fields – I Wish I Had An Evil Twin
Otis Redding – Try A Little Tenderness
Garbage – The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
Atmosphere – Say Hey There
Dryft – Avatar
The Dead Texan – When I See Scissors, I Cannot Help But Think Of You
Antony & The Johnsons – You Are My Sister
Tegan & Sara – Back In Your Head
Though if I was making a mix for my lover, it might go something like this…
Placebo – Bubblegun
Madonna – Waiting
Felt – Woman Tonight
Cat Power – Where Is My Love
Che Fu – Scene 3
David Bowie – The Wedding Song
Kate Nash – We Get On
Lush – For Love
Bic Runga – The Be All & End All
N.E.R.D. – Stay Together
What would you put on a mixtape for your #1 crush?
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [53] Tags: gala,
inspiration,
life,
question Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!How To Have A Freak-Out-Free Birthday
[ 12 February 2008, 20:34 ]
Birthdays are supposed to be the happiest day of the year — the one where you celebrate your life with your closest friends & have an amazing time. But sometimes, they just don’t go as planned. Lots of people loathe their birthday, & refuse to do anything but watch re-runs of Friends all day. Others find themselves filled with a nameless dread, while some people resort to getting drunk, high, having a bad one-night stand or spending most of the day in tears.
The thing is, birthdays can be scary. It’s almost unavoidable that it is the time where we look back on our live & what we’ve done. If you feel like your life is going nowhere, then looking back at it can be a terrifying wake-up call. On the other hand, if perfectionism is your plight, it can be easy to feel like you’re doing enough & not living up to your own expectations. & it’s not like this is just something that happens to us common folk — Ashley Olsen said in a Marie Claire interview last year that she cried on every birthday except her 21st.
So, how can you avoid a dismal birthday?
Get away from it all
Fleeing normal life might sound extreme, but it’s actually an amazing way to spend your birthday. First of all, you’ll be so far removed from your day to day life that your normal worries won’t be with you. Secondly, you’ll have a great story to tell! & thirdly, being away from daily life provides you with wonderful opportunities to reflect & grow — meaning you can come back with renewed purpose & enthusiasm.
The only limit to what you do on your birthday is your imagination, so think big & make plans. After all, if you can’t indulge yourself on your birthday, when can you?
Go to Sweden & watch the Northern Lights, take a bikini boot camp in Brazil, eat violet jam with your croissant in the garden at Jardins Secrets, stay at the Hotel Rivington for the best views in New York, go on a holistic retreat at the Omega Institute or just climb a bloody great mountain. Whatever you do, make sure it’s something that really appeals to you — & do your research before you go!
Spread your birthday out
Sometimes the pressure of having the best ever time on one day is a bit too much. What if you wake up with a huge pimple, or you can’t get dressed? One simple solution is to re-jig things slightly so that you have a birthday week. Organise it in advance & have a week of decadence! You might like a massage on Monday, a huge box of cupcakes on Tuesday, reflexology on Wednesday, quality time at your favourite art gallery on Thursday, drinks with your best friends on Friday, a garden soiree on Saturday & a shopping spree on Sunday. That being said, it doesn’t have to be super-complex (or expensive). You can simplify it — have a different Lush bath product every day, dinner with friends every night, or just take a week off work & do whatever takes your fancy. You deserve it, baby!
Adopt a new tradition
A cake & a party can seem a bit boring sometimes. Borrow from other cultures & start a new way of doing things! There is a huge list of them here. I especially like the Brazilian tradition of pulling on the earlobe for as many years as you’ve been alive! Mad cute! The Canadian tradition of greasing the nose with butter is pretty amazing, too!
Celebrate in an unusual way
You don’t have to go out to dinner or get boozed if you don’t want to! Why not go ice-skating, vintage shopping or surfing? How about spending the day in the garden with your favourite books, a pair of sunglasses & a tall cold drink? Why not take a trapeze lesson? Why don’t you round up all your friends for a game of croquet? How about baking all day with your best friend, or going to see a tarot reader? Feel free to do something weird & uncharacteristic. Anything in the name of celebration!
Don’t keep it a secret!
So many people don’t want anyone to know that it’s their birthday, & then they feel miserable & rejected when no one wishes them “Happy Birthday” or appears with a cake. My friend Jo says, “Don’t keep it secret. If no-one knows, how can they treat you like a princess on the day?” I couldn’t agree more!
Make an effort
Even if you don’t want to see anyone on your birthday, don’t just lie in bed feeling sad or distraught! Have a long shower or bath, go & get a massage, eat a tasty lunch, watch a movie & have dessert instead of dinner. Get dressed up & take some birthday self portraits. Go to the beach. Do yoga until you collapse. Just do something that brings you joy!
Extra For Experts:
How Bollywood celebrities celebrate their birthdays!
Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen’s 21st birthday party.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [39] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Why Thou Shalt Accessorise
[ 11 February 2008, 21:35 ]
[Guest post by Audrey.]
There is a Latin phrase that goes, ‘Vestis Virum Facit’. Translated, it means, ‘The Clothes Maketh the Man’.
Personally though, I think there needs to be a second point added onto that: Accessories Maketh the Outfit. Now I have no idea what the Latin for that is going to be, but my point is that dressing well is not just about what top and pants you’ve decided to pick up off your floor, shake off and put on. It’s vital that you understand the importance of accesorising. To add the finishing touches — a little tweak, a point of difference. Think of it as crossing your t’s and dotting your i’s before you leave the house in the morning.
Good accessories, when worn well, do a number of things. For starters, accessories are surprisingly practical. Your biggest accessory will be your trusty man-bag, but it goes further than that. A nice wrist watch will make sure you’re never late for meetings and appointments. Scarves and gloves will keep you warm. Hats and caps shade you from the sun. Sunglasses protect your eyes and stop you from getting crinkly eyes later in life, and belts stop everyone from seeing you in your tighty whities. Without the basic accessories, we’d barely function as fully-clothed human beings. They’re important!
On the sneaky side though, they can also hide a multitude of sins. A well proportioned neck tie can elongate your body (or shorten it if you need it). A nice, fashionable hat will help you survive a bad hair day unscathed. Or imagine it’s winter and you had a hot date last night but the girl bit the hell out of your neck while you made out at the cinema. A spiffy scarf will make sure nobody sees it, and make you look quite distinguished, when secretly you’re sporting the tell-tale sign of a fun-filled, naughty evening. That, my friend, is the wonder of accessorising.
A picture paints a thousand words, and likewise certain accessories can communicate things to everyone without you even having to speak a word. How many girls do you know that will wear a ring on their wedding finger just so guys won’t hit on them? That’s a perfect example of accessories at work. A button badge of your favourite band tells everyone in a five metre radius about your musical taste. You’d be surprised how much something like a small pin or kerchief or some other small addition to your outfit can communicate to your surrounding public.
They can even be a conversation starter or ice breaker. An interesting necklace from your trip to Zimbabwe or impressive technological watch that translates English into a fun foreign language can be quite the conversation piece at a party or bar — or give someone who’s taken a fancy to you an excuse to come up and talk. Accessories can also give an outfit just the tweak it
needs to change it from one occasion to another. A quick change in belt and shoes can change a work outfit to a going-out-for-drinks outfit without you having to take a change of clothes and lug a bag around for the rest of the evening like the rest of the suckers from your office.
Now, Johnny Everyguy, just TRY and tell me you don’t need accessories. They’re so versatile and important. I’m sure now you’re wondering how exactly you’ve managed to cope so long with nude necks and boring, bare wrists. The time to accessorise is now! You just need to know how to really work them.
There are so many different options out there as far as accessories go. You just need to find something that fits you, your life and your own personal style. What sort of items or look do you you think you want to focus on? Do you prefer silver or gold? Does a necklace with charms sound good to you? Or perhaps a leather wrist cuff and a diamond stud in your ear? An old-school trucker hat and wallet chain? A sharp, skinny tie and braces? Shiny rings? Exquisite cufflinks? A felt fedora?
Just remember the main rule about accessorising yourself: less is more. Accessories are made to be little accents, and designed to be a point of difference. It’s vital that you don’t over do it — a striped scarf, some fuzzy mittens and a colourful, pom-pom beanie all worn together might make you look like you’re eight years old. A cowboy hat, snakeskin belt and bolo tie is a bad combination too, because you don’t want to look like you’re playing dress-ups. We’ll leave that to Vince Noir.
Personally, I like clean lines, robust shapes and simplicity. I’m a big fan of silver, black and white for accessories, so naturally I think Nixon’s range of men’s watches are incredible — particularly the “Metal Dork“ which is equal parts shiny and technological. I think jewellery should be sentimental, so I’m a firm believer that you should rarely buy it for yourself, and instead let others come to the party. Whether it be a beautiful ring from your significant other or a plastic heart pendant your best friend got for you from a gumball machine, I love the feeling you get from having something sentimental around your wrist or neck.
If you’re lacking inspiration though, just have a look around. Accessories are huge for guys right now and there’s an infinite number of places to get ideas. I’ve always been a fan of scarves but I doubt anyone really pulls off the scarf-and-blazer combo better than Jude Law in ‘Alfie’ — a look I decided last winter to make my own. There’s nothing wrong with taking a cue from
somebody. Grab some magazines, watch some video clips or just have a look around your local coffee shop or record store.
Inspiration is everywhere, boys! So don’t be too scared to get out there and try something new. Trying new things is always tricky, particularly if you’re easing into the world of accessories after years of your life without them. Give things a shot, ask your friends or lovers what they think. It might take a few tries but I’m sure you’ll find something that fits. And when you do, you’ll wonder how you ever dressed yourself without it.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [8] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
monsieur Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Geek Chic
[ 10 February 2008, 22:21 ]
Now so ubiquitous that there is a Wikipedia entry for it, Geek Chic is currently one of the most popular looks around. It’s showing up on catwalks across the world, & even closer to home — the ‘geek chic’ prom outfit I put together was by far the one that resonated with people most!
If you want to give geek chic a go yourself, there are a few elements that can be incorporated.
Glasses
You can’t do geek chic if you’re not wearing a pair of glasses! I’m sorry, but it’s true. You don’t actually need to be short- or long-sighted however, which is good news. If you’re wondering where to get glasses, it’s actually pretty easy. All glasses in optometry shops come with plain glass lenses — sometimes all you need to do is peel off a sticker. You can find amazing glasses in vintage & op shops, & of course there are bargains galore to be found online. 39 Dollar Glasses is a favourite of many.
Allusions to geeky interests
This is where you get to be a bit sneaky. It’s easy to wear a t-shirt that says ‘Nintendo’, but it’s much cooler to wear something that only die-hard fans will recognise. Get creative, make your own accessories — that’s where those NES controller belt buckles came from originally, some dude in his bedroom! What do you love that’s geeky? Calculators? Knitting? Tea parties with your Grandma? How about wearing a blinged-up calculator, or making a brooch out of doll-sized knitting needles? Having said that, sometimes geeky t-shirts are really awesome — Viva la Relativity! from ThinkGeek is too cool not to buy.
Reappropriated slightly naff items
Start reclaiming things that you used to get shoved in your locker for wearing! This can be difficult, but thankfully the fashion industry is on this in a big way, giving us all a helping hand. Big bobbly cardigans, Oxfords, wool stockings & blazers are all back with a vengeance. Bonus points if you actually buy things from a school shop!
Here are some ideas for putting together your own geek look.
Sleek geek: Burberry cable knit cardigan; 3.1 Phillip Lim Exclusive Scout dress; Celine leather riding boots; striped socks; Malene Birger Gala headband; Linda Farrow Vintage for Luella glasses; robot earrings; Eprom necklace; MIDI cuff; watch by Tokyoflash.
Buffy geek: Caffeine molecule necklace; beanie; Buffy t-shirt; Pringle of Scotland Satin pouf shorts; black bolero jacket; Tokidoki for Lesportsac backpack; Demonia boots.
Potter geek: Gryffindor hoodie; Princess tulle skirt; Retrospecs glasses; Tarina Tarantino ring; magic wand; Hello Kitty backpack; New Rock boots.
Accessories: Retrospecs glasses; Robot Lover necklace; Luella bag; Melissa jelly sandals; Batman Converse; Cat’s Eye glasses; Lanvin Oxfords; Tokyoflash watch.
Extra For Experts:
Agathe shows how it’s done.
Designboom have very rad recyled cassette wallets!
Fashion Week for the Fashionably Challenged — oh, so funny. Black is the new modem minimalism art era for fashion. Black says “I don’t give a **** you work it out”.
How To Wear Geek Chic Style (for girls) from Wikihow.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [46] Tags: aesthetic,
how to,
inspiration,
madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Throwing A Valentine's Day Party!
[ 9 February 2008, 00:26 ]
Okay, so last year I wrote a piece on how to celebrate Valentine’s Day properly. No simpering kitten-emblazoned greeting cards, no big box o’ chocolates, just lots of weird, fun suggestions to help you enjoy the day.
This year, I wanted to give you a guide to something a little more complex — throwing a Valentine’s Day party. This article is an excerpt from my digital book, How To Throw A Fantastic Party, which I recently rewrote with lots of gusto! It is a whole new book — page upon page of luscious ideas & tricks to make any soiree the best ever. Head over to the shop to have a peek! (There will be more stuff appearing in the shop soon, too… & if you bought the previous edition, flick me an email & I will send you the new one free of charge!)
A Valentine’s Day party is an excellent way to get all your friends together, buy up way too many red or pink products & have fun. It’s also an excellent antidote to the vulgarity of the holiday, which often makes single & coupled people alike just want to say “Bleah”! Really though, any excuse to get your favourite people together is a good thing, especially if it will help prevent your chronically-single friend from feeling bad about him- or herself.
Sometimes it can be a big job to throw a themed party, so if you can rope one of your enthusiastic & hard-working friends into helping you organise it, so much the better!
Guests
The very first thing is that if you’re going to throw a Valentine’s Day party, you must swear — cross-your-heart-&-hope-to-die style — that you won’t invite any sickeningly cutesy couples. Trust me, the entire world panders to them on the 14th of February, & you don’t need to! There are florists & restauranteurs & soft toy manufacturers falling all over themselves to get their hands on the money of the madly in love. Leave them to it!
The thing is, even if the cutesy couple are your best friends, if they show up at a Valentine’s Day party they will throw off the whole dynamic. The single people will feel bad or resentful, the other couples will be all, “Get a room!”, & you risk a messy debacle which might involve pink-frosted cookies being hurled at the offending unit. You don’t want a food fight, I’m sure. So, you know, encourage them to stay at home & snuggle. If you’re not entirely sure if Jim & Miranda are a cutesy couple, here’s how to tell.
1. Do they call each other “fuzzy wuzzy muffins” or “punkin”?
2. Do they hold hands at all times?
3. Do they speak to one another in cooing, childish voices?
4. Do they insist on constantly plunging the depths of the others’ aesophagus — even at family dinners?
5. Do they only ever go out in public as a duo?
If you think the answer might be a partial “yes” to even ONE of those questions, sorry, they’re not invited. Oh, Jim & Miranda! You’re lovely, but come over for pizza tomorrow or something instead.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. Grab a piece of paper & make a list of prospective attendees. Scribble names but don’t feel obliged to invite all of them — you need to strike a good balance, & some people just aren’t going to make the cut. If, for example, your friend Ken is single & depressed — but is also a single, depressed misanthropist who revels in his misery — you should probably leave him off the list. On the other hand, if your friend Natasha is single & a bit miffed about it, but still has a sense of humour about life, she is definitely invited!
The amount of people you invited will probably depend on the size of your house & (maybe) on how many friends you have, & even then (possibly) on how many of them are socially anxious. Think about your friends & how they operate best. If you mostly hang out with vivacious extroverts, then consider your party one of those “the more the merrier” occasions. But if, like most people, some of your friends are outgoing while some are a bit introverted, keep the numbers on the smaller side.
Try to make it seem even & try to put people at ease. This means: don’t invite your one gay or lesbian friend to a room full of people pining for the opposite sex — or vice versa. Since Valentine’s Day is all about love, lust & things that go grunt in the night, if anyone feels exiled or marginalised, they might not enjoy themselves too much. Encourage them to bring a friend if you think that will help.
Remember to mix it up a little bit too. If your guests all work at the same place & know each other really well, odds are it will just be like another night at the pizza parlour, except with more pink trimmings. Invite new people — people you don’t know very well, people your friends don’t know, the cool old man from the magazine shop, your Grandma, your best friend from high school. Make it exciting!
Invitations
Single people might feel weird coming to a Valentine’s Day party if they think there are going to be people smooching in every slightly dark corner, so you need to pre-empt that fear. After all, no one wants to be the only person in the room with lonely lips. Perhaps it would be a good idea to write “NO KISSING ALLOWED” on the invitation, or maybe just declare it the first unofficial meeting of the Anti-Smooching League. You will know what works best for your friends — swearing is okay, too!
Some people think an invitation should just be a way of giving information. “My place, tomorrow night, BYO” & the like. But really, you know, the world is an exciting place, full of distractions, with thrills at every turn. You need to start thinking of your invitation as an advertisement — an enticement. Otherwise your friends might opt to go bowling instead, heaven forbid. You need to lure them in, fill their heart with joy, ensnare them with intangible rapture! After all, having to get on the phone on the 13th of January & beg people to drink your pink punch & eat your delicious broken-heart shaped cookies would be a sad start.
How you make the invitation is up to you & will probably depend on your proficiencies. Some people are best with a computer, while some are far more into scissors, paper & glue. However, you might like to try one of the following…
Make a cupcake card
Samantha Hahn has lots of beautiful cards, free to print & use!
Hipster Cards has a whole slew of free digital greeting cards. I like You BBQ My Heart!, You’re Just My Cup Of Tea! (NSFW!), I Love Me, Contract With The Devil, Let’s Be Bad!, One Cute Cupcake, Valentine’s Day Sucks, I’m Way Too Excited!, That’s Some Mustache! & Freud Advice
Make everyone a different card, using pictures from magazines & making envelopes from book pages
Buy packaged gummy hearts, write the invitation on the package, & post them off!
Write your invitations on the heart pages of old medical books
Ensure it contains the essential information (what, where, when, & any special instructions — BYO etc., as well as a way to RSVP).
Post or email your invitations & then follow it up. Check to make sure they’re received & see how people feel about the idea. Hopefully you will get a staggering list of RSVPs & you can move forward into the dawn of a new day!
Accoutrements
Of course, jazzing up your digs is essential if you’re going to throw a fabulous party. You can go minimal by just using candles for lighting & moving all the chairs into one room… OR you can go for maximum impact. I think that if you’re going to throw a Valentine’s Day party, the best direction to head in is Camp As Hell. Do it up! Go nuts! Here are some ideas…
Play kitsch love movies on the television — with the sound off, please. Best picks include But I’m A Cheerleader, 10 Things I Hate About You, True Romance & Grease.
Fill heart-shaped pink & red balloons with helium & let them float up to the ceiling. If they have long ribbon tails on them, this can make for a cool impromptu curtain of sorts.
Serve pink or red food! Cupcakes are an obvious choice — who doesn’t want to eat something super-sugary-sweet on Valentine’s Day? Chocolate cupcakes with raspberry icing or pistachio cupcakes with pink rosewater icing would be fabulous & on theme! If all the pink & red is too much for you, you can always just make chocolate cupcakes with heart-shaped sprinkles or candy on the top, or you could use a little stencil to dust icing sugar on in the shape of a heart. Other options for food include conversation heart candy, red M&Ms, chocolate-dipped strawberries, raspberries, black forest gateau, pink or red popsicles, slices of watermelon or strawberry tarts.
Serve pink or red drinks, too! A big bowl of punch, a few stellar bottles of red wine or someone on Cosmopolitan duty should do it, but if you want to pick something outrageous & cool, Drinkalizer has a list of red & pink cocktails!
Stock up on candles & keep the lighting dim. If you’re going to use a scented candle, make it good quality (as Lil Kim says, “Spend a little dough”), & only use one that is scented. Make sure the rest are plain, otherwise your house will be a menagerie of different smells & your guests’ nostrils will flare with discontent. Ensure the candles are away from soft furnishings & the edges of things where they are likely to be bumped, & make sure your fire alarm has good batteries!
Decorate tables & benches with lace tablecloths, doilies & heart-shaped confetti. You can also find really great decorations at party shops, like banners & hanging hearts on clear fishing line.
If you want to incorporate games & activities into the evening, you might like to try Pin The Ache On The Heart (it’s like Pin The Tail On The Donkey for adults), throwing darts at a heart-shaped dartboard, reading one another’s palms & predicting future love affairs, Pass The Parcel with naughty treats, Spin The Bottle or that crazy x Minutes In Heaven game, where you & someone else get locked in a cupboard.
Extra impact
Set up a photobooth where your guests can pose together or alone with props. Chuck your digital camera on a tripod, aim it at a wall & post directions so that people know how to use the timer or remote. To make it extra Valentinesy, hang some sparkly or striped red or pink fabric so that it will make a festive backdrop. Make sure to send people their photos the next day! Another option is to use a Polaroid camera instead, & have a table nearby where people can decorate the Polaroids once they’re dry. Set out glitter, markers & stickers & let people go nuts!
Make your guests little goodie bags! Everyone loves free stuff. You can put in things like heart-shaped sweets, love-themed fortunes, lucky love amulets, inflatable dolls & other strange treats. If you need somewhere to start, Oriental Trading has hoards of fun heart-shaped novelties.
Take turns reading from How To Spot A Bastard By His Star Sign. Allow time for commiseration & discussion of the book’s contents.
While it is always tempting to play love songs — or anti-love songs — at a party like this, fight the urge. Most love songs are a bit pukesome & the majority of anti-love songs are just depressing, so abstain from both. Instead, continue the kitsch theme & play things that people will want to dance to after they’ve had a few drinks — like Kylie Minogue & Justin Timberlake!
Best of luck!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [29] Tags: how to,
inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Things I Love Thursday
[ 7 February 2008, 13:18 ]
My Vogue 2008 calendar — I’m so glad I bought it (it came with the Dec/Jan issue of French Vogue). Beaucoup du beautiful pictures to take me from day to day. There is so much detail in every photo that I’m finding it really inspiring. I love the February model’s short hot pink nails, they are fiiiiierce! (Thanks, Tyra Banks. You have ruined me!) I had hot pink nails when I was in Sydney last & it was totally hot. I need to get my nails done!
Leather jackets — I have been stalking them on Ebay like mad but this morning I finally bit the bullet & bought one. It’s tiny & cropped with a diagonal zip, a belt around the waist, epaulettes on the shoulders & 3/4 sleeves. Too gorgeous. I can’t wait for it to arrive! I am going to rock it all winter. I’m going to wear it with cocktail dresses, jeans, maxi skirts, vintage t-shirts & my collection of turbans! YAY!
Benn Jordan of The Flashbulb — I have loved The Flashbulb for a really long time, but this article makes me love Benn even more. You should download Soundtrack To A Vacant Life — NOT from iTunes — & bliss out.
Lagerfeld Confidential — & the fact that the March edition of Australian Vogue came with a free copy of it. Be still my beating heart. It’s a great piece of film; I saw it at a film festival a while ago & really enjoyed it. I am in love with Mr Lagerfeld, I adore the way his mind works. If you haven’t seen it, you should definitely make the effort.
Wishlists that come true! Some of you will remember my Wishlist For 2008 that I posted a week ago. After I made that collage, I set it as my desktop wallpaper so that I could see it all the time & be reminded of what I wanted. Well, yesterday I received a Lelo Lily in the mail — free. I’m going to review it soon (ooh la la!), but let this serve as a reminder that the law of attraction works!
L’Oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival — It’s coming! There are lots of fantastic events going on & I can’t wait to attend them — & to shake hands with the fabulous Zandra Rhodes! (I met her right-hand woman at the Chelsea Hotel, she was very friendly. She stopped me in the lobby to say that Zandra & I had the same coloured hair...)
iCiNG plans! Ooh baby, wait ‘til you see what I’ve got coming. This year is going to be HUGE & I’m so happy that you’re all along for the ride!
My mini-trampoline! Putting on some good, loud music & jumping up & down on my trampoline is one of the best ways to exercise that I know. It’s also good for getting rid of cellulite, yay!
This poem by Marianne Williamson. I have replaced the word ‘God’ with ‘the Universe’ because I think otherwise it is easy to misconstrue the message. Sorry, Marianne!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the Universe. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of the Universe that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Audrey wanted to get in on it too, so here’s his list!
Robyn — I’m a little behind, I know, but I’m totally obsessed with her latest album right now – especially ‘Konichiwa Bitches’. It’s even my ringtone because I’m a complete dork. The video is amazing, and a little bit Michael Gondry-esque.
Accessories! I’ve gone accessory mad at the moment. My heart/lock necklace is of course paired with everything I’m wearing, but I went and got some charms to make a few more at a bead shop in the city. I also scored an amazing black woven-leather bracelet from a beatiful store in Adelaide called Bauhaus (257 Rundle Street). I brought five different hats with me on my trip (I scored an old grey houndstooth trilby from my grandpa which I’m loving immensely), and I’ve bought four pairs of cheap Kmart white canvas shoes in Adelaide to take home with me.
The February issue of GQ — It has an excellent article about America’s up-and-coming fashion designers for menswear in 2008. It’s great reading, judging from what I skimmed while standing in the store (I’m saving a proper read of it for my flight home on Saturday) but even better is the photo shoot accompanying it. Though it’s nice to look at a designer’s line of clothes, I find it even more inspiring to see what the designers are wearing themselves. Check it out.
Road trips — Though the road between Melbourne and Adelaide isn’t exactly exciting (straight road, a line of bitumen, some trees and a lot of dead grass), it was all kinds of fun. My friend Darren flew to Melbourne just to drive back to Adelaide with me. We stocked up on energy drinks, had a spindle of awesome CDs on standby, and explored little country towns for thrift stores. I bought some hacked in black-and-red Reebok Pumps for FOUR DOLLARS! So grab some friends, fill your tank with gas and get on the open road! Bonus points if you buy mirrored aviator sunglasses from a truck stop. Double bonus word score if only your driving arm gets a tan.
Family — As much fun as it is to go out into the world and make your own life, there’s still something to be said to being back in your old house, in your own room, eating home cooking, playing with the dog and watching cable TV. So get off the internet, all of you, and call your family to tell them you love them and appreciate everything they’ve ever done.
Alright, darlings! Fill the page up with your love & happy heart. TiLT is a great thing to do on a good day, to boost you up even higher, but it is even better to do on days when you feel miserable & dejected. By bringing yourself into the present moment, you will find that you have more to be grateful for than you ever imagined. Give it a try! This means you!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [97] Tags: inspiration,
things i love thursday Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Argyle S.O.S.!
[ 6 February 2008, 23:41 ]
“I got an argyle sweater for Christmas from my uncle and it’s cashmere (my love) but my sister keeps asking me for it. I usually give her things that I don’t wear and well, I don’t wear argyle but I refuse to give it up to her. She keeps throwing at me the plain excuse that argyle isn’t for a girl with my style (my closet is full of handmade one of a kind pieces with sequins, tulle, crazy colors and crazy designs). I always know how to make something different, we’ve had same clothes a lot of times and I always made sure I looked different than she did. Therefore, I HAVE TO do the same this time. It’s been a month and half and I haven’t come up with any ideas. It’s like I have the equivalent of writer’s block for fashionistas! I need help. And I know that if you can’t come up with anything, then all hope is lost. If it helps the sweater is gray, the triangles are pale pink and white and a darker pink.”
Oh! You’re in luck. I LOVE argyle, & your sweater sounds gorgeous! Gray & pink cashmere, yum! I decided to plunge the depths of Polyvore & here’s what I came up with! I hope it sparks your synapses!
Argyle sweater worn with heart earrings, bangles by Jessica Kagan Cushman & a bright pink pashmina. Shimmy into some Superfine skinny jeans, a pink studded belt & strut your stuff in wild pink pumps!
Argyle sweater worn with D&G leather jacket, pink heart scarf (around neck or over head) & Vivienne Westwood asymmetric skirt. Accessorise with a fuschia clutch, Tom Ford sunglasses, pink lips & nails, a mirror ball necklace & a pink padlock cuff. Top off with hot boots like these Chloe leather ankle boots & you’re done!
Argyle sweater worn with grey shorts, net stripe stockings & a beautiful pair of Louboutins. Fill your fluoro shopper with colour-coordinated books & a pink purse, sling a cutie pie necklace around your neck & cover up with a fabulous coat!
Good luck showing your sister who’s boss!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [30] Tags: advice,
consumption,
inspiration Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Quote of the Day -- 6th February 2008
[ 6 February 2008, 15:31 ]
“Don’t fight darkness. Bring the light & darkness will disappear.” — Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [13] Tags: inspiration,
quote Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!EFT Tips & Tricks
[ 6 February 2008, 13:37 ]
So many of you are using EFT now, & it makes me deliriously happy! It’s a wonderfully empowering thing to know that you can actually get rid of your problems, & not stew in their juices for the rest of your life. I have had quite a few questions about EFT recently so I thought I’d address a bunch of them in one go. Let me know if you have any additional queries!
“I don’t know if I’m actually “doing it right”, if that makes sense. I do the whole tapping my head, eyebrows, under-eyes, under nose, between chin & lips, chest, side of chest, under chest… but it somehow doesn’t feel like enough! How many sessions do you recommend for one problem? Should a whole sequence of the above be on one over-arching issue or can I tap out completely different things?”
(FYI, the points are: top of head, start of eyebrows, side of eyes, under eyes, under nose, under mouth, collar bones, chest, side of chest, wrists!)
For some reason, I am able to tap out issues in just a couple of rounds (top of head down to wrists), but it wasn’t always that way. When I first started out & was dealing with some really big problems, I would do many many rounds on one problem, or even on one aspect of a problem. Sometimes I would go around tapping for ten rounds to clear something out. The general rule, however, is just to keep tapping until you feel the problem shift or move. I often find that if I’m tapping on something, I know it’s gone when I can’t remember what I was tapping on, or I start to laugh, or I feel no emotional attachment to the problem anymore. You will feel some kind of change if you’re doing it properly. If it doesn’t feel like it’s budging, try approaching it from a different angle or saying something else — even if it’s just “Even though EFT isn’t working & I feel like a moron doing this”. Say what you feel.
It can be tempting to tap on three things at once (“I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m demotivated”), but it’s hard to get any traction if you’re thinking about too many things at once. If you feel like you have a laundry list of problems, write them down on paper so you’re not trying to keep track of them in your head, & then tap through them one by one, crossing them off as you go. Remember that detail is everything, so the more you say or feel, the better results you will get.
Try not to be afraid to go to dark places — allow your mind to go wherever it needs to. Often the problems we have on the surface (not concentrating in school) are related to deeper things from our past (parents always told you you’d be a failure). Tapping is like unpeeling an onion — sometimes it takes a while to get right down to the core of a problem, but it’s worth it!
“Basically I have a tremendous phobia of the dentist and I’ve got a problem with one of my teeth that I’ve been putting off for months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m living off of painkillers just to dull the pain. Which obviously sucks. I won’t bore you with the details but I had some pretty horrible experiences with a dentist when I was little (I’m fairly sure it would amount to malpractice). I’ve changed dentist now but the fear remains. Do you think I would benefit from EFT? Can EFT work on phobias? And how would you recommend I go about it?”
Yes, EFT is fantastic for getting rid of phobias! Here are some articles on the main EFT site about dentist phobia: 1, 2, 3 & 4. A lot of those people have had the same kind of issue as you & they’ve explained how they’ve used tapping to remove their fears & memory of the trauma.
I think the best thing to do is sit down somewhere quiet, grab a sheet of paper & start making a list of reasons about why you’re afraid of going to the dentist. If that doesn’t work, you might like to try remembering what happened the time(s) that scared you off — as you play that “movie” in your head, you don’t need to speak, just tap around the points. But basically, think of all the individual pieces that add up to this fear. Past experience, pain, immobilisation, whatever — just tap out each thing.
It is absolutely possible to have no fear of going to the dentist & to have a complete turnaround in terms of how you see the situation (“he’s a horrible man who wants to hurt me” versus “he’s an educated dude who is helping me take care of my health”). I would also strongly suggest tapping on forgiving yourself for what happened all those years ago — you were a kid & it was not your fault. Lots of love to you.
“I’ve been having allergy problems for forever, but since I’ve gone to college they have been 5x worse and now have crossed the line into asthma. That, and all the stress of school and not eating properly has got me feeling down lately, which doesn’t help. But I am still at a loss for where to start — so I was wondering, if you didn’t mind telling me, what sort of things you tapped on to help with your asthma? I’m hoping to start tapping on that and work my way to other issues I’ve been having.”
My asthma had been a problem for me since I was about 7. I used to use a preventative inhaler every day & my actual inhaler probably every day or second day. I don’t know when exactly or why it started, but my father always had asthma too so maybe I just expected that I would suffer from it too. I actually inherited the unholy trinity of asthma, eczema & hayfever from him, none of which I have problems with now. Okay, all of that aside, here’s how I dealt with my asthma!
Asthma was actually the first thing I tapped on. My boyfriend was using EFT for emotional things & making great progress & I thought it was total bunk, so I decided that I would try it on something that would give me a definite, measurable result. Asthma was an obvious choice since it was such a huge part of my life.
I did some tapping on forgiving myself for having asthma, & forgiving my father for passing it on to me. Then I broke the issue down into segments. I would get asthma from all sorts of things — exercising, going from a hot to cold environment or vice versa, walking up hills, cold weather & cats. (That’s all I can think of now but I’m sure there were other triggers too.) I wrote all the reasons for getting asthma down on a piece of paper & then tapped through them individually. “Even though I get asthma from exercising, I deeply & completely love & forgive myself…”
I drank so much water & passed out. The next morning, I walked up the hill in the cold (three of those individual reasons in one experience!) to catch my bus, like I did every morning, & which also gave me asthma every morning. Surprise! No asthma. Brilliant. My asthma was gone.
However, a couple of years later, when I went back to my home town for the first time in ages, I got asthma again as soon as I stepped off the plane, & it plagued me the whole time I was there. I came home to Melbourne & it still wouldn’t go. I couldn’t figure out what the hell it was, & after lots of tapping I realised that it was actually fear about the future. I was afraid that I would have to go home & live in my home town, & afraid that I wasn’t ready to live in New York. As soon as I tapped that out, poof! It was gone again. Weird, man!
Oh, & re: eczema & hayfever… When I started using tapping & reduced my anxiety about life, my eczema disappeared, never to be seen again. At the same time, whenever I got hayfever I would just tap on having allergies, being allergic to pollen, & the physical symptoms (itchy eyes, runny nose etc.). I did this a few times & since then, it has never come back.
Remember to…
Drink lots of water
Go into as much detail as you can remember
Say what you feel or think
Allow yourself as much extra sleep as you need
Read other people’s testimonials on Emofree if you’re stuck
Keep tapping
Use it on everything! (Depression, binge eating, insomnia, social anxiety, panic attacks, anger etc.)
& now for some EFT success stories, in their own words! These are all emails from nonpareils that I have received recently! If you don’t think EFT works, these testimonials might change your mind…
“Although just about any of your articles can cheer me up or put a spring in my step, the ones on EFT have, I’d say, genuinely made my life take a turn for the better. I mentioned this in a comment on your latest EFT piece, about trying it for my depression, but wanted to just say “thank you!” properly and also let you know about my experiences with EFT since then. Basically, I feel as if some huge blockage or burden has fallen away from me. It’s incredible. The night I tried tapping on my depression, I was suicidal. I was willing to try absolutely anything that promised to help me feel better. After I tapped, I left that comment on your article, and then I started to feel incredibly shaky, cold and nauseous. I took that as a sign that the tapping had obviously done something. It was quite extraordinary. Two weeks later, I feel as if EFT has made a subtle but huge difference to my attitude.”
“I actually heard of the EFT exercises from a friend before, but I’ve never really tried it. Last night I did it for a series of problems that’s been nagging at me for a few weeks and it’s been an incredible relief – my mind stops wandering over to it now and replaying it in my mind. I have a question though – does EFT make you very tired? I slept for a good 11 hours after doing it for the first time, and today I still took a lunchtime nap. Not that it’s a bad thing; I usually have insomnia, but this incredible amount of unbroken sleep seems too good to be true!”
“i’ve read about your experiences with eft & i’ve always been very skeptical. my mother is a doctor so i tend to trust only things that can be scientifically proven & have evidence to back it up. so i’ve always skimmed over it & moved on. tonight i figured what the heck things are so awful right now that it can’t hurt. so i tapped on the karate chop point while crying & thinking about what was upsetting me. maybe it worked, maybe it was just the repetition & repeating things in my head but i felt calmer, something that i never feel when i think about things that upset me. i tend to avoid thinking about them at all because i find that it just makes me more upset & makes it harder for me to get back to “normal”. since i felt calmer & was no longer crying i decided to read more about it so i went to icing, watched the videos, read the whole article throughly, & chanted & tapped along with you video. i tapped about a couple of things including my depression & insomnia. then stopped so i could refill my water cup. i live in a dorm so i have to walk down the hall to get to the bathroom to get some water. by the time i got back to my dorm i felt tired & sleepy & ready for bed which might not be a big deal for some people but i have really bad insomnia. i usually take a prescription sleep medication to fall asleep & without it i can lay in bed for hours & typically won’t fall asleep until 4 in the morning. needless to say i’m pretty impressed. though i must admit i’m still quite skeptical & am trying to rationalize my calmness & sleepiness. maybe i just tired myself by crying for so long. maybe it’s just a placebo effect. or maybe it really did work. i’m actually quite interested in eft now & am so impressed that i had to shoot you an email before i went to bed. maybe you’ve introduced me to something that might actually work [unlike the millions of antidepressants that i’ve tried over to years]. thank you so so so much. if there’s anything else i should know or you think is important about eft that isn’t mentioned in icing or in the eft manual let me. good night & thank you for helping me get my first sleeping pill free night of 2008.”
“After that I did EFT at home every day. I didn’t believe it would work, just like most people don’t. So I tapped on “even though this feels really stupid and it will never help me feel any better because I’m so heartbroken…”. After a couple of weeks I noticed I was not tapping on the same feelings anymore. My heart was healing, my soul was healing, and I felt great. ... I see the light and beauty in so many things now. I feel like I am now beginning to really understand life; I am understanding my Self & the connections between all people & all experiences – how everything has meaning, if you choose to let go and allow the Universe to reveal it to you. I feel very neutral most of the time, but when something nice happens or I see something fun or amazing, the joy in my heart is overwhelming! I haven’t had an anxious thought in over a week. I haven’t felt hopelessly lonely or depressed like I was, in about 2 weeks. I have stopped biting my nails. When I do feel yucky, I just do a few rounds of EFT and trust that it will help. This is a real accomplishment for me, because I’ve had anxiety since I was like 9 years old!”
“after reading about EFT on your blog, and watching your video and the videos you linked to from your site, i decided to give it a try. i was pretty unsure, and even believed it probably wasn’t going to work, but i told myself to remain open-minded. i tried the tapping techniques while sitting in the bathtub. i’d run through the tapping exercises 10-20 times each sitting. i did this for only 2-3 days in a row. at which point, i gave up because i wasn’t noticing any improvement. i figured i was wasting my time. as i said, there wasn’t an immediate improvement, so i stopped after day 3. this was about 4 months ago. something weird has occured though, i haven’t itched in a few months! even when showering in the morning— something that would normally set my legs itching— i’ve been fine. i haven’t called in late to work or canceled activities for a long time. i’m not saying that its completely gone… there were a few days when i noticed the beginning sensations of it and anticipated that my legs were going to burst into itching flames, but.. you know what?! ... they didn’t. everything was fine. its like the early symptoms started, but then almost immediately subsided. i can’t explain it, but i’m starting to believe that EFT worked!”
“i suffer from depression and anxiety problems and, per your suggestions, have started using EFT with great results. a steady combination of your words and tapping away my problems has uplifted my soul so far beyond anything therapists or medication has ever done for me.”
“I wanted to thank you so much for introducing me to EFT. I read your article thoroughly for the first time today and did my first real session (previously I had only absentmindedly tapped my karate-chop point when I was anxious, which worked well, but was nothing like this, when I did the whole deal) Once I got going with it, I started to rant and it opened up to things I wasn’t even conscious that I was dealing with. Using EFT, when I eventually started saying things like “even though I’m not good enough and noone else will ever want me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself” I started to shake and cry, because deep down, I’d beat myself up all the time and call myself vain and shallow for considering myself confident, but then basing my good opinion of myself on my talents and looks. Using EFT as a starting point, I’m learning to base my self-worth on something more substancial, which will make me happier person, genuinely confident, rather than just propped up by all sorts of unsubstancial “stuff”. Your website has really touched my life. During a blah sort of day, I’ll go to galadarling.com and be mentally rejuvinated by simply hearing a positive voice in my head, reminding me to lick life’s icing when I’m at my bluest!. Your EFT advice, however, really takes the cake of all the ways you’ve improved my life without even knowing it! Thank you, thank you Gala!”
I am so happy for all of you & I hope you’ll continue using EFT! It changed my life & I know it can change yours.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [33] Tags: advice,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
productivity Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Rock The Prom!
[ 5 February 2008, 18:31 ]
For most people, the prom is still a little way off — & yet at the moment, it’s the hottest issue in my inbox! Girls around the globe are fuh-reakin’ out, lost in a sea of dresses, stumped by what to wear & how to look different, original & cute without spending a fortune or imitating someone else.
I think that to some girls, a prom is like a miniature version of a wedding — to be planned in intense detail & carried off with military precision. That’s okay! I understand! I am a Virgo myself; I am well acquainted with the joy of organisation. So I am here to help!
Dresses
While you could go to a department store & pick a dress off the rack, that’s probably what every other girl in town will be doing, too. It’s okay to follow the herd, but not on a night that is important to you — or on a night that has so much photographic evidence! You want to look ravishing, mysterious, glamorous & stylish, & it is hard to feel like that when the girl you really dislike turns up in the same gown.
I strongly advise buying your dress somewhere else. Try the tiny boutique of a local independent designer, go vintage shopping, peruse your very stylish friend’s wardrobe, start looking at patterns or browsing online for the dress of your dreams. You don’t have to buy off the rack in your town — in fact, you don’t have to buy at all if you have well-dressed friends! Be open to other options, because it will help you stand out on the night.
Have a browse around online to see what you like. Some of the best vintage dresses can be found at Vintageous, Blue Velvet, Trashy Diva & Ballyhoo, & there’s always Ebay.
If you don’t like dresses, never fear! Androgyny is in & it’s hot. Have a read of Tomboy Boot Camp & then scroll down this page for more ideas!
Make-up
A lot of girls go to a make-up counter to have their face done for the big day — in fact, in Australia & New Zealand I would say that’s the rule, rather than the exception. That’s great if you’re not wonderful with make-up, but if you have a very definite “look”, you might want to save the cash & do your make-up at home. A couple of my goth friends refuse to have anyone touch their faces because they can never find anyone who does their make-up as they like it, & they are not alone!
If you’re paying someone to do your make-up for the big night, I would recommend doing a trial run first. Some people have strange ideas about what looks good, & you don’t want to be frantically rubbing your make-up off in the limousine!
Remember that you can get anything you want. If you always wear pale pink lip-gloss with brown eye-liner, don’t be afraid to try something new! Maybe electric blue eye-liner will look amazing on you. Let the make-up artist play around with things & be open to their suggestions, because until something is on you, it’s very hard to know whether it will good or not. When I worked at Lush, we were friends with the girls at the MAC counter, so when we had a break we’d go to their shop & they would make us over. I remember one girl gave me yellow eye-shadow that faded into this brilliant parrot green colour — I thought it would look hideous but actually, it was totally incredible. So take a chance!
Feel free to take in pictures & photographs that show what colour your dress is & demonstrate the sort of make-up you want — if you do, it will make the artist’s job much easier. Also: be friendly! You will get better service & a more fabulous end result.
Hair
Just because a prim up-do is the “done thing”, that doesn’t mean you have to have one. You could have your hair down, curled, teased, in a beehive, dusted with talcum powder, under a tiara, or even wear a wig! If you’re feeling daring, you could even colour your hair. If your hair is short & you feel left out, don’t! Read Making Short Hair More Interesting & rejoice!
Remember…
The prom is kind of a ridiculous tradition but it can be a lot of fun if you embrace it. Even if you loathe everyone you go to school with, it’s still great to dress up & see everyone else dolled up. People seem to act differently when they’re dressed up for a formal occasion — almost like adults, sometimes! You might even find yourself talking to (& making peace with) someone who was your arch-nemesis all year, so if you’ve sworn off your prom, give it a re-think.
On the other hand, just because it’s the prom, that doesn’t mean you should feel like you have to transform into some weird alien version of you for the night! Leave that Barbie girl look to those spray-tan-crazy girls who never answer questions in class. Don’t be afraid to inject a little personality into your outfit — or even allow your outfit to express who you are. If you’re a gamer, embrace it! Wear a brooch of the Nintendo logo on your dress or don initial rings that spell out ‘GAME OVER’. If you’re obsessed with France, dress in red white & blue & add a beret. (You could even draw a little moustache on the side of your finger & hold it up to your lip & laugh at people with a fake French accent!) If you’re a photographer, wear your camera like a necklace, & if you’re a ballerina, wear ballet shoes. You get the picture.
The accessories make it. Even if you do end up buying something that someone else wears, if you accessorise it properly, you won’t look similar at all. Think hats, stockings, bags, bracelets, rings, chokers, necklaces, glitter, crystals, feathers, tiaras, faux fur — & take it from there.
Ideas
Obviously the idea is not to go out & buy these outfits as they are (though if you can afford a pair of Louboutins to wear to your prom then you’re doing pretty well)! Hopefully you will be able to use them as a jumping-off point; something to inspire you. Maybe you’ll look at one of these dresses & love it but accessorise it differently, or perhaps a colour scheme will appeal to you. I hope it helps!
For the glamorous alternative girl: Todd Lynn Nachtotter leather jacket; vintage 1950’s strapless dress; gold Rolex; CC Skye bracelet; Alexander McQueen clutch; Jimmy Choo heels; initial rings from Girlprops.
For the girl who thinks pink: Fendi Candy striped silk dress; Tarina Tarantino necklace; Alexander McQueen clutch; pink bangles; Christian Louboutin glitter patent slingbacks.
For the geeky girl: Robot charm necklace; JC Penney dress; retro glasses; Fred Flare nerd/dork ring set; Cat5 bracelet; Balenciaga fingerless gloves; gold Kitson sandals.
For the tomboy with taste: 3.1 Phillip Lim tuxedo jacket; Blondie t-shirt; Todd Lynn Bill Carson bow tie; Topshop cropped jeans; Christian Louboutin Ariella studded boots; Moschino handbag.
Oh, & if you need extra inspiration… Betsey Johnson‘s Spring 2008 collection is prom-tastic!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [45] Tags: advice,
consumption,
how to,
inspiration,
life,
madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Super Tuesday
[ 5 February 2008, 14:13 ]
My dear American readers,
As you are probably aware, today is Super Tuesday. I don’t normally make political statements here, but you guys have the power to change the world. Plus, I would really love to move to your fine country one day — so please exercise your right to vote! Someone charming in power would be really lovely — for you & everyone else.
Thanks for listening.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [37] Tags: inspiration,
life Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!Top 5 Fictional Female Style Icons
[ 29 January 2008, 15:43 ]
Television & movies are overrun with underdressed & badly-styled characters. But what about when the major studios get it right? This is my little homage to who I think are the 5 most stylish female characters.
“Often, what you see with Jenny is not pretty. She’s in love with two people at the same time. She’s one of those people who will just grab experiences because of the holes inside her, and with that, she will leave the casualties in the wake behind her.”
Jenny Schecter is played by Mia Kirshner on The L Word, a television series that revolves around the lifes of a group of lesbian & bisexual women living in Los Angeles. While the character of Jenny was voted “Most Hated” on the show, you can’t deny that the girl can dress. With a penchant for mod dresses, vintage fur coats & sparkly accessories, she plays the part of the tortured artist beautifully.
What she wears:
Ripped black stockings, denim miniskirts & low-cut Converse. A messy bun with sparkly diamanté stud earrings & a camel-coloured trench, worn with knee-high brown boots. Vintage dresses & a super-short haircut. A loose white t-shirt with braces.
What we can learn from Jenny’s style:
Jenny isn’t afraid to portray different sides of her personality through what she wears. As a writer, she is always playing with characters & expression, & this continues through to her wardrobe. Jenny shows us that you don’t have to stick to one style, you can feel free to experiment & be different people if you want to. Some days you might want to be slick, while others you want to be feminine or just plain decadent — & that’s okay. In fact, it’s to be encouraged. Keep ‘em guessing!
4. June Miller
“I’ve done the vilest things… the foulest things. But I’ve done them… superbly.”
While June is not entirely fictional, what I’m actually referring to is her part as played by Uma Thurman in the vastly underrated film Henry & June — an adaptation of the book of same name by Anais Nin. June was married to Henry Miller, but also involved in lesbian relationships with artist Jean Kronski & later, Anais Nin (who had an affair with Henry too).
Uma’s character was dressed by Yvonne Sassinot de Nesle, & in the film, it’s not so much what she wears but how she wears it that really makes her come alive. Her clothing is an exquisite extension of her personality; it serves to make her a richer & more dynamic character. Her trappings are like a marinade that help to bring out her subtle flavours.
What she wears:
Long skirts, dishevelled stockings, a loose bun. A ballerina-wrap cardigan, red nails & kohl around the eyes. Fingerwaves, silver bracelets, a black velvet cloak. A silk slip. Lace-up Oxfords & a scarf on her head. Cigarettes & sheets.
What we can learn from June’s style:
Your clothing can help cultivate a mood — so don’t be afraid to be dramatic! Dress to suit your personality: pull the best parts of yourself out & extend them through coats, skirts & accessories. It is much more mysterious to cover up than to show it all off. Integrate your clothing into your lifestyle — use it to seduce or confuse or bewilder people. Be unashamedly yourself.
Not safe for work! A bit raunchy.
“Do you know what time it is?!”
“A watch doesn’t really go with this outfit, Daddy!”
Cher Horowitz was played by Alicia Silverstone in what is arguably the best teen movie of all time: Clueless. Written by Amy Heckerling, it follows Cher’s transformation from a shallow & selfish girl into one who is, well, a little more mature & well-rounded. Really though, the reason people love Clueless is that the characters are so easy to relate to, the lines are really snappy & it is pretty much the ultimate feel-good movie.
Plus, I have eternal love for anyone who says something like this…
“So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation & all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed & put on some baggy pants & take their greasy hair — eww — & cover it up with a backwards cap & like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so!”
What she wears:
Cher is a teenager, & she dresses accordingly. She loves miniskirts & short dresses, knee-high socks, cute hats & bags that match her ensemble. Cher is an accessory maniac & thinks way outside the box — in one scene she tote a marabou-topped pen which goes perfectly with what she’s wearing. In another, she snaps yellow bubble gum, which is the exact shade of the rest of her clothing. She doesn’t do “casual” & always looks immaculate.
What we can learn from Cher’s style:
Play with proportion — knee socks worn with miniskirts & long shirts looks brilliant & attracts the eye. Don’t be afraid to match; it’s easy & looks fantastic. (I think all that “don’t be too matchy-matchy” hype has really skewed & confused people’s style.) Healthy hair is one of the best accessories, & faux fur never goes out of style. Though I would stop at matching my bubble gum to my outfit…
Serena: “How’s your mom doing with the divorce?”
Blair: “Great. So my dad left her for another man… she lost fifteen pounds & got an eye-lift. It’s been good for her.”
Portrayed by Leighton Meester in the show Gossip Girl, Blair is the ultimate preppy icon. While outward appearances secure her place as an upper-class darling, behind that she rules her fellow classmates with an iron fist. She is a girl that you just don’t cross, because she has the power & ability to stomp you into oblivion. She is also painfully well-dressed.
What she wears:
Blair maintains her conservative persona by not letting a lot of skin show — except for when she’s performing a striptease, of course. I think I am yet to see Blair in trousers — she only ever wears skirt or dresses. She is a fan of high-necked garments, elegant detailing, cherry red lips & high heels. She is the Cher Horowitz of the new generation: she loves to match, wear new trends (turban, anyone?) & rock perfection like no other.
What we can learn from Blair’s style:
Dressing in a preppy, sophisticated way doesn’t have to be boring. Use unexpected pops of colour, unusual textures & fabulous accessories to freshen your ensemble. Headbands are always appropriate, & nude lips are sinful. Wear fantastic nightwear. Don’t dress to be sexy, dress to be stylish.
“Here. Swear. Swear on Chanel.”
Carrie is the quintessential style icon for anyone who refuses to be pigeon-holed into a “look”. Her style is ever-changing, evolving, & she expresses herself through what she wears. While some of her looks could be labelled feminine, retro, sleek or street chic, she defies categorisation. A true fashion lover, she is known for saying “shopping is my cardio” & spending $40,000 on shoes.
She was dressed by Patricia Field & Rebecca Weinberg in what I think was one of the great feats of styling. Sex & The City was the kind of show that people would watch just for the clothes, even if they disliked the characters. While a lot of what Carrie wore was way out there, I also like to think that she inspired a new group of women to start dressing up more, & to have fun with their clothes — not to view them as just a necessary evil.
What she wears:
I think “what doesn’t she wear?” is perhaps a better question! She rocks blonde & brunette, with her hair worn wavy, straight, in twin buns or tucked under a hat. She loves high heels, vintage shopping & Oscar de la Renta. She teams a Birkin with a waistcoat, purple with grey & a pop of lime green, high heels with tracksuit pants, a basketball singlet with a straw fedora. She wears a black pleather one-shouldered dress with a huge white flower pinned to it. She dons a Halston trenchcoat with great Jackie O sunglasses. She rocks an oversized white men’s business shirt & belts it around the middle. She wears knee-high argyle socks & high heels. In Los Angeles, she even wears two different coloured shoes…
What we can learn from Carrie’s style:
There are no mistakes, only learning opportunities. As we change, we should allow our wardrobes to evolve with the same ease & grace that we allow ourselves. Keep everything that fits & flatters you, because you’ll never know when you might find something that goes with it perfectly. Dress appropriately but do it with a point of difference. Don’t be afraid of hats, huge earrings, strange bags or vintage shopping — all it takes is a little confidence.
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
Comment [68] Tags: aesthetic,
inspiration,
madame Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!50 Ways To Rescue The Worst Day Ever
[ 28 January 2008, 12:59 ]
“Either you run the day or the day runs you.” — Jim Rohn
How to solve an awful day? Clear your calendar. Postpone all social engagements, take time out for yourself & do one (or all) of the following…
Go to Lush & pick yourself up a little treat. A bath ballistic or little slice of shower jelly costs less than some people’s lunch, so it’s not an extravagance, especially when you consider how good it will make you feel! My picks are Fairy Jasmine (absolute hands-down favourite of ALL time!) & Youki-Hi bath ballistics, Flying Fox & Sonic Death Monkey shower gels, Almond & Skinny Dip buttercreams & Creamy Candy & Flosty Gritter bubble bars. I promise, a good hot bath or shower with any of these products will make you feel totally luxurious — & if you’re concerned about water use, you can always invite someone else in with you!
Construct a fort or wigpee & hide in there for a while with your favourite book.
Listen to your favourite songs, but don’t be tempted to mope the day away with E