3 April 2013, 13:16
Photo by Ysa Perez.
Recently, I’ve been feeling an urge… An urge to get another tattoo. Eeeeeeeeee!!!
My two half-sleeves have absolutely no meaning. I came up with the designs, but I only got them because they were pretty, not for any other reason. People ask me all the time what my tattoos mean, and there is no explanation. As annoying as it can be when people ask “what does that mean?”, it’s even more annoying not to have an answer!
But lately I’ve been thinking about getting another tattoo, something new which actually does have meaning to me: probably something related to radical self love, magic and manifesting. At the moment, it’s just a rough concept… I definitely need some inspiration!
All of this makes me excited to tune into season two of Best Ink, which is on Oxygen tonight (10-11pm ET)! Nothing gets the creative juices flowing like a peek into the world of tattoo artistry!
Best Ink is cool: twelve tattoo artists compete every week for a chance at $100,000 (!!!) and a cover story in Tattoo magazine. You see all kinds of work, meet many different personalities, and definitely get a fair few ideas for tattoos!
This season is being hosted by Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy, and judged by Joe Capobianco, Sabina Kelley and Hannah Aitchison (total girl crushes!). Ugh, I can’t wait to watch!
Since we got to Los Angeles, Kat and I have been talking non-stop about how we’d like to have our current tattoos reworked, and what we’d like to get in the future. We’ve been walking around Hollywood, staring into the windows of tattoo studios, thinking, dreaming and plotting…
Do you have tattoos? Are you happy with them? Would you ever have them reworked or removed? Tell me all about it!
Ink and needles,
This post was made possible with the generous support of Best Ink!
18 March 2013, 10:49
On Saturday, I spotted my first cherry blossoms of the season… and it whipped me into a frenzy! The first day of spring (and Ostara!) is Wednesday: so close!
Even though it’s below freezing as I write this — and we’re supposed to get snow today — I can’t stop thinking about warm weather, and how I want my summer to be.
All of my favourite memories are from a time when it was warm, like getting caught in a blossom shower on the Upper East Side. Or walking around Greenwich Village at night, live music pounding and lights everywhere. Summer makes me think of never-ending views and evening light on rooftops, and riding a motorcycle with my husband all over the city.
I love the way spring stretches into summer. The days are long and languid, and fireflies light the night. It is my favourite time of year… And our wedding anniversary is smack-bang in the middle of it!
Photo by Diddy Lux.
This summer, I want to wear short skirts and high heels, to pack a suitcase and drive off into the sunshine with my husband. I want to lie in the grass and take photos of the clouds. I want to wear bright pink lipstick and ultra-long eyelashes. I want to read tarot cards, dance in public, and carry my camera everywhere.
I want to celebrate Midsummer in a park. I want to grow flowers and herbs and keep freshly-made iced tea in the fridge. I want to make raw cacao smoothies and get a tan. I want to play in the surf, have salt-kissed hair, and wear sunglasses all the time.
I want to move into a new apartment with big windows. I want to light candles and worship the moon. I want to listen to songs that give me goosebumps all over my entire body. I want to work my way through a huge stack of books, sleep deeply, and write down my dreams…
13 March 2013, 10:00
Where would we all be without our phones? Mine is constantly at my side, and I’ve discovered it’s not just great for obsessively decorating, listening to music or taking a million photos. In fact, there are a bunch of iPhone apps that can actually improve your life. Here are a few of my favourites!
If you can’t sleep: Relax Melodies
Relax Melodies is basically a little sound machine in your phone. You can choose any combination of sounds — like ocean, rainforest, thunderstorm, or rain on the roof — and they just loop for hours. I know you’re not meant to sleep with your phone beside your head, but sometimes, when there’s a guy parked outside with his car stereo booming, I need something to help me get to sleep!
I love Relax Melodies. It really does relax you, and falling asleep to the sound of rain is about the most peaceful thing I can think of.
P.S. There are two versions of Relax Melodies: free and paid. I upgraded mine, but I think the free version is completely adequate!
If you want to get your inbox to zero: Mailbox
First, the bad news: At time of writing, there are approximately 700,000 people ahead of you in the queue to use Mailbox. But the great news is that the queue moves quickly — I waited about two weeks, I think — and when you’re granted access, Mailbox is a complete game-changer.
Mailbox makes it really, really easy to archive or delete your mail, as well as a brilliant “show me later” feature. You can choose to delay a message, and deal with it tomorrow, next week, or even next month. Mailbox also keeps a little numeric tally of messages as part of its icon, which really inspires you to clear out your inbox on a daily basis!
Mailbox has replaced iPhone’s OSX Mail app as my email application of choice… And I’ve never been happier. Just watch their video and I think you will be similarly convinced!
If you have a goal: Everest
Everest encourages you to break your goal down into manageable, bite-sized chunks. No matter what your intentions are, this app will help you get there.
You can connect with friends to help keep you accountable, as well as browse around and see what complete strangers are doing. I haven’t had a lot of time to play with this app yet, but I think it is so brilliant!
Additionally, if you’re looking for some more adventure in your life but aren’t sure where to start, just tap the Challenges tab and accept someone else’s dare! Some examples include cut out sweets for a week, don’t complain for 24 hours, do a silent retreat, create a plan to get debt-free, and run a half marathon. Each challenge is broken down into steps which you simply swipe to complete.
If you’re stressed: Take A Break
Take A Break is a free app which comes with two different guided meditations: one is a “work break” that runs for seven minutes, and the other is a stress relief meditation, which is thirteen minutes long.
You can choose whether you’d like to just hear the voice, if you’d like music in the background, or nature noises, which makes this very simple app a little more customisable.
Guided meditation is one of my favourite types of meditation, and it’s particularly useful for anyone who is new to sitting still and quieting their mind! It gives you something to focus on, rather than trying to think of nothing and obsessing over how much your nose itches!
I always feel much more serene after using this app. Give it a try!
If you can’t remember everything: Wunderlist
I have tried so many apps over the years, always looking for that sacred sweet spot: the intersection between ease of use and practicality. I’ve recently come back to Wunderlist, and I’m in love with it.
One of the reasons I love Wunderlist is because it has a desktop app. I don’t like to do everything on my phone, I like to be able to type and research on my computer, and Wunderlist syncs beautifully across all devices.
Wunderlist is basically where I vomit everything I need to keep in my head. At the moment, I have lists for places I want to visit in Los Angeles, pictures I want to take for Instagram, articles I want to write, things I need to procure to make my living room a better place, a Blogcademy “to do” list, a generic shopping list… And that’s just for starters.
It really helps to keep me on track, and I think it will help you, too!
If you want to keep a journal: Day One
There are a lot of journalling apps on the market but Day One is my favourite. The design is sleek and easy, and the app just does exactly what it says: no more and no less. One of my favourite features is the ability to add a photo to your diary entry. It makes it more visually stimulating, which provides a whole lot more motivation to keep adding to it.
The best thing about Day One is that you can set an alarm to remind you to update your journal. Maybe setting an alarm for 10pm or 7.30am would be the best time to get your thoughts down. Play around with it and see what works for you!
If you want to be on time: Uber
Uber is like having access to your own personal driver through your phone. It’s different in every city, but in NYC they have partnered with a number of black town car services, and it simply pings the one who is nearest to you.
It’s so easy to use: you input your address and it gives you an estimate of how close the nearest car is. Where I live, in the East Village, a car is usually about 6 minutes away. Once you submit your order, Uber will actually chart the path of the car while you wait.
Using Uber is a little more expensive than a taxi, because it’s a town car service. A trip that would normally cost me about $16 cost me $24. But I didn’t have to leave my house and go searching for a taxi, the car was impeccably clean, I didn’t have to swipe my card at the end (it’s all done in the app), and the tip was included. (A 30% tip on a $16 fare is almost $5, anyway.)
I am completely obsessed with this service! It’s truly perfect if there’s somewhere you need to be, if the weather is terrible, or if you’re just feeling too fabulous to want to prowl the streets in search of a taxi!
By the way, if you use my invite code, you’ll get $10 to use towards your first trip! Awesome!
If you want to eat healthy: My Fitness Pal
You know how they always say you should keep a food journal if you want to become more conscious about the amount — and type — of food you’re eating? It’s a great idea, but no one really does it. Or at least, I’ve never met anyone who managed to make it stick!
MyFitnessPal seeks to fix this problem. You can search for foods or scan any barcode and have it instantly entered into your food diary, figure out serving sizes, and even discover how many calories you should be eating if you have a certain weight goal.
If you’re anything like me, you have serious eating habits. I eat the same foods every week, and with MyFitnessPal, once you’ve entered them once, they get saved in your regular foods list. This makes it really easy and fast to keep on top of your diary.
There’s also space to enter any exercise you do. Great for gym bunnies!
If you want to say thank you: Ink
With Ink, you can instantly create greeting cards using the photographs on your phone. I love this app, because it removes any and all excuses for not sending a quick thank you to anyone who deserves it.
Using their app, you select a design, pick a photograph, add any text, then choose a contact to send it to. The Ink nymphs print it out at their magical factory, then slap a stamp on it and send it out. It arrives at your friend’s house soon after, and you all rejoice!
Now you really can be the babe with the best manners!
If you want to get centered: Pranayama Universal Breathing
Pranayama Universal Breathing is a super-simple app. When you fire it up, onscreen you see an animation of a man sitting cross-legged. Next to him is a pie chart, which shows how long your inhale and exhale should be. The first 1/3 of the pie chart is devoted to your inhale, and the rest is intended for your exhale.
Then all you have to do is follow the instructions. Breathe in… Breathe out. Breathe in… Breathe out. Do it for a few minutes, and you’ll feel back to your old self in no time!
You can up the ante, too, if you’re looking to try some more advanced breathing techniques. Fabulous!
I hope you have fun playing around with these apps!
Help! I think I’m in love with my phone,
4 March 2013, 13:38
Photo by Jeffrey Clark Grossman.
I was walking along 14th Street when I got an email from my friend, Rabbit.
Subject: vampire ball tomorrow night?
Okay, so I think I am going to this ‘vampire ball’ tomorrow night… It’s called Endless Night. Would you care to be my teenage goth date? Image of me down on one knee, presenting you with a ring box containing a spider
My reply was instant.
Subject: Re: vampire ball tomorrow night?
OMG YES. What the eff are we gonna wear?!
The next night, I stared in the mirror, teasing my tresses as I sprayed them with extreme hold hairspray. It was easier than I thought to slip back into that old ritual: thick eyeliner, multiple coats of mascara, wine-coloured lipstick and plenty of powder. Finally, I laced up my platform boots, wrapped myself in a black coat, and headed out to greet the night.
I was a heady mix of nerves and gut-twisting-weirdness as I stood in the line outside the venue. At the same time, I was instantly transported back to my goth persona that I had perfected over 10 years of dabbling in the dark side.
When Rabbit appeared, I told her, “Just so you know, my goth persona is really mean.”
There’s something about painting those sharp lines around your eyes that makes you want to narrow your gaze at everyone.
We explored the space: three floors with multiple dance floors and performances. On the basement level, children of the night were writhing and twisting to industrial beats. Overpriced drinks were being poured, absinthe rituals were being observed, and the Goth Top 40 was blasting. (Depeche Mode! New Order! The Cure!)
Endless Night was teeming with goths. They were everywhere, limbs flailing while they danced, long pointy fingers wrapped around plastic cups. We saw goths of every size, shape and colour, of every genre and sub-genre and motif you can imagine. Women in decadent ballgowns twirled around men in tight PVC pants. Capes and fangs flashed in the light, top hats and wigs loomed over the masses, and shaved-off eyebrows and white contact lenses were de rigueur. There were also some men dressed like pirates sailing on the SS Hot Topic. There’s a few in every crowd, I guess!
On the Endless Night website, in bold, italic, underlined text, it says, Fangs and masks are highly encouraged but NOT required. I never was one for a dress code, but I was also running pretty low on anything that might qualify as gothic chic. (I had gotten rid of my striped tights, New Rock combat boots, long lace skirts and fishnet shirts when I left home.)
I had slithered into a plum velvet skater dress from the 90s, with black stockings and my boots that elevated me to 6’1”. I spun around the dancefloor, sucking on gin through a tiny straw.
Rabbit looked like a baroque painting, but even more pale. A fascinator on her head, skinny limbs encased in pale lace, she flicked open a fan and fluttered it in front of her face.
From the VIP section, we looked down at the crowd and I pointed out a man whose hair was shaped like a teardrop on the top of his head. Later, as Rabbit and I writhed to Type O Negative’s Black No 1, he approached us. He must have been 7 feet tall. He was wearing a slippery latex catsuit, his nails filed to a point and painted a red to black gradient. He boogied into my eye-line, and started to dance as he stared at me, mouthing, “Black, black, black, black, number ooooneeeeeee!”
We started talking in that weird way you talk to people in clubs: half-shouting, only understanding half of what’s said. He was from Greenwich, Connecticut. I had a fantastic vision of him taking the Metro-North train in his greasy onesie, so I asked how he’d gotten into town. He said he drove; that his car was “all blacked out”. He mentioned that the people at Starbucks gave him free coffee.
“I like you,” he blurted. He told me we should get married. When he went to the bathroom, I escaped.
He was sweet and well-intentioned, I think, and he was also really the only person who approached us. Rabbit turned to me later in the night and said, “Why aren’t more people talking to us? This is totally weird. I get hit on more at my local bar in Williamsburg than here.”
“Rabbit!”, I replied. “Goths like to lurk, they want to be seen as mysterious. You can’t be spooky and introduce yourself to everyone in the room like Bill Clinton. They will never approach you. That’s why they just stand in the corner trying to look enigmatic, so someone will approach them.”
Even so, there were far fewer pick-up artists than I expected.
Rabbit wanted to know what made modern goths tick. We started walking up to people, engaging them in conversation, trying to get a little insight. I pointed at a guy and said to Rabbit, “How about that one, wearing the carpet?”
More fool me. He wasn’t wearing a carpet at all. It was a priest’s robe from the 1960s. He was an Italian map-maker living in Harlem. He was carrying a one-of-a-kind personally-moulded mask, but it didn’t really look anything like him.
He told us that he loved the old music from the goth scene. He remembered back when goths and punks and weirdos of all kinds hung out together, and he missed those glory days.
Since I was fascinated by everyone’s mode of transport that night, he told us that he had taken the subway from Harlem, and that when on the train, he turned his colourful outwear inside out. The cape was black on the inside, just like the soul of everyone in attendance. (Ho ho! A little goth humour.) He was friendly and drunk and shy, unlike the belligerent guy in a pinstriped suit we spoke to next.
At 3am, we decided we had probably seen everything we were going to see. We had witnessed a woman in a ballgown and corset spanking another, we had been followed across the dance-floor by a guy in corpsepaint, and we had angered the aforementioned pinstriped suit-clad pick-up artist when we pressed him to tell us exactly what he liked about goth girls.
We collected our coats and took a cab to Veselka, a famous 24-hour Ukranian diner in the East Village.
Over eggs, kielbasa and sweet potato fries (which I stole from Rabbit’s plate), we dissected the evening, trying to figure out what had just happened, and perhaps more importantly, why we enjoyed it so much.
There’s something liberating about doing an activity that would have thrilled you as a teenager.
No matter how long it’s been since I kissed the subculture goodbye, there’s still something about it that calls to me. Deep down inside, I still think of myself as that weirdo goth girl.
When I’m shopping, I always look at the black clothing first.
Going to the vampire ball was a way of cherishing my inner teenager. When I was 15 years old and spending my entire weekend hanging around Cuba Mall carrying a lunchbox and wearing stripey tights, the idea of going to a goth party in New York City would have been beyond my wildest dreams.
I remember sitting at my computer (with its 33.6kbps modem), reading every goth site I could find. I would soak up the information with my eyes. I’d read every thread on alt.gothic and alt.gothic.fashion, I’d learn gothic home decor from Gothic Martha Stewart, and dream of one day being a Gothic Babe Of The Week.
Wellington’s goth scene was small, to say the least. The people who organised the events did a bang-up job, and bless their cotton socks for that, but it was always the same 50 people. I guess it’s like that in any city: the scene has its key players, and after a while, it all starts to look the same.
It was incredible to realise that — as with any subculture, I suppose — goths look the same, from New Zealand to New York. Everywhere I turned, the faces, the clothes, the behaviour felt familiar.
Goth fashion hasn’t changed. Cybergoth arrived on the scene with a neon shout, and steampunk creeped its way into the dark consciousness, but in general, corsets and big voluminous skirts are still all the rage. In fact, nothing about being goth has changed… Except that these days, it’s even less common.
And maybe this is a function of a subculture becoming even more fringe. Even Hot Topic doesn’t cater to mallgoths anymore; they have all but disappeared. Seeing a goth in NYC is an unusual occasion, like spotting a rare bird.
There are so many more ways that teenagers can rebel these days. Dressing in black and listening to Sisters Of Mercy is nothing compared to popping pills, taking your clothes off for some sleazy photographer, and becoming an internet “it girl”. How worried can a fishnet shirt really make your mother, when you could be embroiled in some Gossip Girl-esque scandal?
Honestly, it makes me glad that wearing striped tights, reading Anne Rice and scowling at people was how I occupied myself from ages 13 to 20. It could have been so much worse.
I was surprised by how comfortable I felt at the ball. It was like putting on an old uniform, with worn buttons, and a jacket that has softened at the elbows. It wasn’t a stretch of my personal limits to powder my face, to tease my hair or to stand outside the club, eyeing everybody.
I may have moved on from only wearing black and listening solely to music that came out 20 years ago. But I love to go out and celebrate that lifestyle, which, no matter how much I may deny it, will always be a part of who I am.
These days, I look back at it with a sense of humour. That’s the difference: when you can laugh at yourself, it becomes so much more fun. There’s nothing like dancing to The Cure, Type O Negative and Nine Inch Nails, waving your arms in the air and sneaking off to the bathroom to tease your hair (again).
I always look at goths fondly. After all, everyone I’ve ever adored was one, once.
Yours in spookyness,
23 February 2013, 10:32
Photo by Laura Burlton.
Oh, Mercury retrograde.
You are here, AGAIN. You have arrived on our collective doorsteps in all your messy glory. You are our dreaded but regular house-guest. You stagger in the door, kick over our furniture, leave crumbs all over the couch & hog the bathroom. Then, as quickly as you appeared, you disappear again, leaving us slightly stunned but much better equipped to continue with our own lives!
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, here we go. The planets are swinging around at all times, & their movements affect us all in different ways. All planets go retrograde, but Mercury’s journey seems to impact people much more than any other. (Even people who “don’t believe in astrology” often “believe” in the crazy aftershocks of Mercury retrograde!)
Why is that? It’s because Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, truth & travel, so when the planet goes retrograde — which means that it looks like it’s going backwards in the sky — all those things go backwards. They start to get ugly & tangle up. Mercury isn’t really going backwards, it’s just hanging out by the sun, but from Earth, that makes it look like it’s in reverse. It typically runs for a couple of weeks, a few times a year.
Check out these dates below & put them in your calendar!
In 2013, Mercury is retrograde from…
February 23rd to March 17th
June 26th to July 20th
October 21st to November 10th
Note: We sometimes start to feel the effects of Mercury retrograde a few days early. It’s nice to give yourself a bit of leeway on either side of the prescribed dates!
What happens when Mercury goes retrograde?
All sorts of things! It’s like everyone you know has suddenly gone mad! You might find yourself getting into bizarre arguments about nothing at all, being unable to finish sentences or barely even able to form a coherent thought. Your computer & other electronic equipment is more likely to go on the fritz. You could experience travel delays, too. Double-check your flights & take a book with you to keep you occupied while you wait for the train! We don’t tend to get all the information we need at this time, so it can be hard to make big decisions & it’s not always the best time to sign a contract, either.
Expect to hear super-loud complaining from your friends who are Gemini or Virgo, since both are ruled by Mercury! Mercury also rules a lot of industries like publishing, writing, editing, advertising, sales, public relations & anything to do with transport, like airlines, the post office & cabs! This means it can be particularly rough for Gemini train conductors & Virgo magazine editors, so be kind to any you know!
I often find that Mercury retrograde makes me want to go into hermit mode. I feel like half my brain is missing so I’m really not that interested in interacting with anyone, plus every conversation seems to go in an unusual, confusing direction. I feel much more irritable & frustrated & things just don’t seem to go how I want them to.
So that’s the bad news. Mercury retrograde can be a total kick in the teeth for those of us who normally pride ourselves on having our karmic shit together! The GOOD news is that Mercury retrograde provides us with lots of beautiful opportunities if we can just tilt our head & squint.
Mercury retrograde wants us to move back spiritually. It is providing us with a chance to re-examine various areas of our life which may need a little more work, so that we can move forward to a bright new dawn. Now, more than ever, the time is right to look at things with clear eyes. Delicious, fresh perspectives are revealed. We often have major breakthroughs — intellectual, emotional or spiritual — during this time.
It’s also a terrific period in which to tie up loose ends. So many of us have unfinished projects… Maybe that door just needs another lick of paint, or you’ll decide to put away your ex-boyfriend’s love letters once & for all. Having said that, this is also a time where it’s very common for old lovers, friends & acquaintances to get in touch! If you hear from someone from your past, get together with them & see what eventuates!
One of the best ways to cope with it — as with anything, really — is to just “go with the flow”. When you fight Mercury retrograde, that’s when life gets really ugly. Just take some time, go slowly, be careful, don’t freak yourself out by expecting to be uber-productive-perfect right now. Be good to yourself & the people around you, now more than ever!
surviving Mercury retrograde!
(Print it off & stick it in your diary or on your wall!)
Be sure not to take things too personally. People will often say offensive things they didn’t mean around this time, because their thinking is clouded & their communication skills are on pause! If your best friend suddenly became the most insensitive person in the world, give her the benefit of the doubt.
Back up your data!
Don’t purchase any big ticket items, because they will often have flaws or issues that you weren’t aware of! Of course, life doesn’t stop just because of wacky planetary movement, so if you absolutely have to get that car, computer or iPhone, TRIPLE-check all the paperwork, & make sure you have a warranty!
Take things with a grain of salt. Everyone is a bit confused, & people are much more inclined to change their mind once Mercury goes direct. Mercury can be a bit of a trickster — could it be that the next few weeks are a big karmic joke?!
Read the small print on any contracts. Ask lots of questions. Again, you can’t put your life on hold just because of some silly planet, but adapt your lifestyle a bit so that things run more smoothly. Communication can be a mess right now, but do your best to get as much information as you can.
Finish things you started a while ago. Home improvement projects? Wardrobe re-organisations? Short stories? Love affairs?! This is an excellent time to tie up loose ends & file things away forever.
Get together with old friends, reminisce & laugh!
Double-check any information you’re given, especially as relates to travel arrangements! During one particularly formidable Mercury retrograde, I actually caught a cab to the wrong airport! Check times, delays, baggage allowances, reservations… everything!
Allow Mercury to nudge you in unusual directions. If you seem to find yourself “back to the future”, don’t just try to wriggle out of it — look at what the universe is trying to show you. What can you learn from this situation? This is a fantastic time to re-examine, accept & move on.
Use the things you’ve discovered in the past to create a dazzling new vision so that you’re ready to blast ahead when Mercury goes direct!
If you want more tips, read 10 Magical Ways To Make The Most Of Mercury Retrograde!
Fingers crossed for the next few weeks, & best of luck to you!
Love & sanity,
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