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Over-The-Knee Boots: How To Do It

[ 24 November 2009, 14:57 ]

Over-the-knee boots are constantly going in & out of fashion, & have done since the time of pirates. Yarrr! They were daily-wear for pirates, who often turned the cuffs down, as well as crazy adventurers & buccaneers, who wore them as protection while they were riding & often hid things inside them. Like a treasure chest for the leg, to be sure, to be sure, yarrr! YARRR! Women started wearing them in secret too, because they wanted in on the fun, & would hide them under their long skirts.

The style comes & goes, & in the last couple of years, they have drifted back into style again. We’ve noticed them on the likes of Carine Roitfield & Victoria Beckham, & designers, who have the beadiest eyes of all, have not missed this. Now practically every shoe store has a pair in their front window, & we start to think, ‘Hmmm, I wonder how that would look on me’. But just putting them on takes stacks of confidence, & then, you think, as you stare at yourself in the mirror (& everyone in the shop gawps at you), ‘What the hell would I even wear these with, anyway?’.

My darling, I am here to help. Here is my guide to rocking the most fabulous trend of the season.

Questions for the quivery-kneed.

Can I really pull this off?
Remember that the over-the-knee boot is a STATEMENT. What the statement is, exactly, is up to you, but it is probably more along the lines of, “I am a powerful bellatrix & I am not to be trifled with” than “Here is your library card & a photocopied hand-out of the Dewey Decimal System”. Knawmean? This is not a shoe for the shrinking violet. If your legs are your least favourite attribute, or if cannot handle oodles of attention from men on the street (because believe me, you’ll get it), you should not purchase a pair. Stick to your Hush Puppies or whatever. But if you’re up for a challenge, & if you want to throw down the delicious, fetishy gauntlet, then these are for you.

I don’t really think my thighs are my best feature. Should I go for it anyway?
It all depends on how self-conscious you are. If a stranger’s swiftest glance at your gams sends you into a hyperventilating panic, perhaps you should give this one a miss. All is not lost, though — over-the-knee boots look best when worn with black opaque stockings, so it’s not like you’re really showing them off all that much. Super-secret-hint: ribbed stockings (where the lines run vertically up your leg) will give you a slimmed-down, long & lean-looking thigh without the hassle of going to the gym or giving up eating fried chicken sandwiches every second night!

Okay, I want to go for it. Should I buy a flat boot or one with a heel?
It really depends on what you’re most comfortable in & what you think you’ll get the most wear out of. I feel that a heel is always more flattering, especially when it comes to something like a high boot which can sometimes make even the leggiest lass look a bit… well… stumpy. But if you loathe wearing heels & wobble violently whenever you even think about a pair, flat boots are probably more your speed.

How high should the boot go?
I think a few centimetres over the knee is best. True thigh-high boots don’t give you a lot of room left over, & can look more like waders than sexy boots. But you know your style best. Try on a few different boots to find out what is most flattering for your body.

Should I go for leather or synthetic?
Leather boots are certainly more expensive, but if it’s in your budget (& fits with your morals), leather is the way to go. Why? Synthetic leather doesn’t breathe, it doesn’t sit as well against the skin (it can look kind of wrinkly & naff), & it’s less durable. Sometimes the colour will rub off or it will crack or split. It also looks cheaper, & because this is a look that can go wrong very easily, looking cheap is to be avoided!

This is not to say you cannot go synthetic; of course, you can. Just make sure you buy the best ones you find. It is worth shopping around (though really, this is true for everything).

If you decide to go for leather, here is a note about suede, because there are a lot of very attractive suede over-the-knee boots on the market. As beautiful as it is, & as wonderfully cosy as leather boots are in the winter, you need to be careful wearing suede boots in the rain. The occasional sprinkle of rain won’t ruin them (just be sure to put trees in them & let them dry out when you get home), but if they get soaked, you’ll be a very sad bunny. The dye in suede also runs like MAD when it gets wet, & it stains. You can Scotchgard your suede boots to protect them from the weather but still, use your common sense. While you are wearing them, don’t wash the car, drink too many cocktails beside a swimming pool, run a marathon during a tropical storm, etc.

PVC & patent leather boots should be avoided too, unless you are really, really, really sure you can pull it off. See: Pretty Woman.

Ugh, I tried on a pair & they don’t stay up when I walk around!
If they don’t stay up, don’t buy them! Realise that they may not be the right boots for you & continue with your search. Constantly tugging on the top of them will drive you bonkers, & if this is the case, know that there is no guaranteed way to keep them up. Liberal applications of Hollywood (or double-sided) tape will do the trick for a while, but even this is not a pinky-swear promise. Sometimes it won’t work. If the top of the boot is super-thin, you can attach suspender belt straps to them, but make sure the belt fits or your boots will just drag that down too! You see where I am going with this: ill-fitting over-the-knee boots will just create more problems than they are worth. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing properly. Don’t half-ass this one.

As well as making sure they stay up, they should also fit your thigh properly. Think snug, but not so tight your thighs go all bulgy like an unfortunate shibari incident. If you’re swimming in them, it will either a) ruin the proportions you’re trying to go for, or b) make you look like a pirate. I know, I know, yarrrrrrrr, the history & all is cool, but is Anne Bonny really your style icon?

Okay, I bought some! Now, what do I wear with these suckers?
The truth is that the first image that comes to mind for pretty much everyone is Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, & as charming as she was, she is not the woman we’re hoping to emulate. The best way to avoid looking like you are a woman of the night is to go for contrast (otherwise known as not being too obvious) & not show everything off at once. Over-the-knee boots are all about legs, which means your outfit shouldn’t also be geared to showing off your midriff or cleavage. (This is a pretty basic rule of dressing — you don’t show everything at once, unless you are stuck in Las Vegas & have to turn tricks to get home again.)

Remember that when you put an outfit together, your shoes only convey part of the message — so what you wear them with counts.

Think about proportions. Your boots are long & fitted, so go bigger on top. How would it look if you added a slouchy sweater or a big coat cinched in at the waist? What about a long t-shirt or a radically cut a-line skirt? You could wear them over skinny jeans with an enormous scarf & a leather jacket, with an oversized cardigan or a jacket with structured shoulders.

You also don’t have to show the entire boot to make the most of them. If you think of them more as leggings or stockings, that can free you up hugely in terms of what you team with them. You could wear them with a 40’s style dress, a pencil skirt or a huge tulle petticoat to wonderful effect.

One of the easiest ways to make an outfit visually interesting is to play with proportions & put unexpected things together. Big with small, tough with luxe, vintage with new. Mix it up & see what you can come up with.

Here are some more ideas!

The styling of these two images is delicious. It’s all about proportions. The look with the leather jacket is total perfection from start to finish. She’s wearing her boots over black skinny jeans & under an oversized white shirt, which is capped off with a short leather jacket. The jacket gives the outfit its shape, while the white shirt prevents it from looking too severe. Bravo.

The picture of the girl in the (faux?) fur jacket, cinched with a belt, & worn with black over-the-knee boots is just too yummy for me to even pontificate over. If I owned all the components of that outfit, you would be hard pressed to get me to wear anything else. Ever.

In my opinion, what saves these three looks from being trashy is that you’re not even really aware that the models are wearing over-the-knee boots. It’s like a fantastic leathery secret. They just look like they’re wearing fabulous stockings or skinny leather trousers. There is no flash of pale or mottled thigh & not a hint of fishnet. They look powerful, sexy & put-together.

The Hussein Chalayan look is from Fall 2006, & is a total winner. You could wear this outfit to work, after-work drinks, or even on a date with a bit of dazzling jewellery. It’s perfectly understated & just a little bit intimidating all at the same time.

I LOVE how Alice Burdeu (Australia’s Next Top Model winner!) looks in McQueen — totally makes me think of a headmistress at a strict-but-sexy (hey, it’s my imagination) Edwardian orphanage. So good. “No, Oliver! You may NOT have some more!”

I can’t say anything about the Givenchy look because I just drowned in my own drool. Sorry.

This is perhaps not a look to emulate, but I had to include it just because it’s quite brilliant. It might be a good one for the bedroom, though.

Carine (Editor-In-Chief of French Vogue) shows how it’s done. The sleek silhouette of the boots perfectly off-sets the size of the coat. Her outfit is so simple but it is completely genius — there are so few parts to it, but it works seamlessly & wonderfully. She could be wearing anything under that coat — a Garfield sweatshirt, a pair of sequinned hot pants, a bikini emblazoned with the American flag — but it doesn’t matter because the few pieces we can see are A++. & seriously, look at those boots. Oh, Margiela, you did us proud.

So, what do you think of the over-the-knee boot? Is it something you think you could see yourself wearing? I am totally mad about them, & have been schlepping from store to store trying to find The Perfect Pair. When I do, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Parisian Style

[ 21 October 2008, 10:42 ]

Much is made of the allegedly superior style of French women — Parisians especially. There was a point a couple of years ago where books on how to live, dress, eat & act like a French woman were being churned out at an alarming rate. That’s slightly de mode now, but when I was in Paris a couple of weeks ago, I made a point of observing the style of the women around me. (I always do, I can’t help it, but this time I made a concerted effort because I was interested in what might have sparked all those previous authors.) Obviously it’s impossible to typify an entire city full of women & the way they dress, but I noticed that French women — or at least Parisian women — do have a very definite aesthetic, despite their individual stylistic differences.

I started making some notes, & they have evolved into the piece below. I hope you enjoy it & of course if you are a French woman, or have lots of experience with them, please feel free to say your bit & share your thoughts!

Parisian women know the importance of good basics (& don’t scrimp on them)
One of the first things I noticed was that even though the temperature had only just started to drop, all the women I saw (honestly, pretty much without exception) were totally kitted out. By this I mean that I didn’t see any of them huddling & looking cold in the Métro. They all had great coats, scarves & good winter boots.

I don’t know how often French women shop, so whether the coats were brand new or not is a mystery to me. The point is that everyone had them. They were good quality coats, clean & smart-looking. This is not to say that they were expensive necessarily, but they were definitely well-made & stylish.

Parisian women seem to grasp the concept that a coat, scarf & boots are going to be their major sartorial staples for at least a few months, & so they buy with this in mind. If you think about it, during winter, all anyone really sees are your coat & shoes, so it makes total sense to get the best you can.

For more tips, see How To Buy A Winter Coat!

Parisian women work from a consistent colour palate
There was not a lot of colour to be seen in Paris, at least when it came to clothing — not on the people or in the shops — but one thing I learned from a few women I spoke to is that they tend to shop with a limited colour palate in mind. This means that they have probably determined ahead of time what works for them & their skin-tone, & they stick to it.

One problem a lot of women have is that they get carried away with excitement & end up buying a raspberry beret (!), a lime green waistcoat or a pair of pink cowboy boots… & then don’t know how to work them into their wardrobe. Obviously if your closet is extensive & well-stocked, this might not be so much of a problem, but most women don’t have that luxury. & so that colourful poncho languishes at the back of the cupboard, because you just cannot work out what to put it with.

If you make a decision to work from a few colours — maybe black, beige, white, royal blue & red, for example — it makes your entire sartorial experience about a billion times more simple & cohesive. While this might sound boring (& it’s certainly not a rule I adhere to — I am totally prone to flights of fancy where I buy turquoise cardigans), if you feel like your style’s a bit of a mess & you don’t know where to begin fixing it, paring the colours down is a great place to start.

Parisian women don’t want to look “perfect”
The major difference between the look of Parisian women & American women that I can see is that Americans want to look absolutely perfect, with not a hair out of place. It’s very pageant style, very shiny teeth. Parisian women don’t want to look that way, & while they may spend just as much time getting ready in the morning, it’s not so that you could blast their head with a leaf-blower & have no effect. Parisian women often wear their hair loose & down, tucked into their scarf or coat if the weather is horrible, or pulled back in a messy chignon. This is one of those things that helps add to that tousled, sex kitten look that so many women are crazy about trying to achieve. You won’t look like that if your hair is pulled back so severely it doubles as an amateur face-lift!

Okay, so let me make a disclaimer & say that this is not to say that you can leave the house with soup stains on your skirt & safety-pins holding your sleeve together. It’s about looking effortless, not being effortless!

Allow yourself to get a little dishevelled. If you don’t know how to make that happen, get dressed, then have sex, then leave the house. Simple, non?!

Parisian women don’t wear a lot of make-up
One thing I heard years ago was that French women aren’t wild about make-up, but they are crazy for treatments, potions & powders. Apparently the average French woman’s medicine cabinet is a veritable apothecary, the likes of which would make a mad scientist beam with pride.

Regardless of their penchant for slathering strange creams on themselves, Parisian women really don’t wear a lot of make-up. I barely saw a lipsticked mouth the whole time I was there. Most of them seemed pretty content with a bit of foundation, rouge, eye-liner & mascara. I always thought of stereotypical sexy French rock & roll style as being a girl with long messy hair & slightly unkempt eye make-up, but I didn’t see any of those girls. Maybe they only exist in my imagination…

Parisian women take their time
This is not to say that they dawdle or plod around, because they certainly don’t. But the French, generally, understand that time is precious, & they make the most of it. Yes, they work hard, but they also make time to relax & look after themselves — unlike most Americans or English, who seem intent on working themselves into an early grave!

They make time to have a bath, go for walks & spend time with their friends. They’re not constantly running around with dangerously high blood pressure. They understand that life is about balance. Life doesn’t have to be perfectly structured & pulled tight in order to be satisfying. They’re okay with letting go of the reins.

Parisian women keep it simple
Parisian women seem to manage to avoid the temptation to load on accessories & gee-gaws. Maybe they all subscribe to Coco Chanel’s old adage of “take one thing off before you leave the house”, or maybe the overdone look just doesn’t appeal as much. Regardless of the reason, it’s much easier to look chic & polished if you have fewer elements fighting for attention.

Parisian women wear heels — a lot
Before you rush out & rack up a hideous credit card bill at ChristianLouboutin.fr (I know you & your quick-draw Visa!), stop! Yes, very high heels are sexy. But only some of them are comfortable, & spending a lot of money on a pair of kicks unfortunately doesn’t make them cozy. (You would think they would pass some kind of law stipulating that if a pair of shoes retails for over $500, you should be able to stand up in them without feelings of intense agony, but hey!)

So the most important thing to realise is that yes, a lot of Parisian women wear heels a lot of the time, but they wear heels they can walk in! & stand in! & actually feel alright in! Sometimes this means a little kitten heel, & sometimes it means something higher, but you really won’t know until you try something on. My point is, Parisian women make the effort with their footwear but they don’t murder themselves in the process.

Be good to your tootsies, they’re the only ones you’ve got! (Unless you have some kind of strange affliction… In which case, sorry. But go nuts on the shoes!)

Extra For Experts:
JAK & JIL BLOG has lots of French model style for your perusal. (It happens to be one of my new favourite blogs, too.)
The Sartorialist shoots in Paris regularly, though unfortunately his “Women in Paris” tag doesn’t seem to be working. Just scroll!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

Comment [52]
Tags: aesthetic, how to, inspiration, madame
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A Reminder

[ 30 September 2008, 09:46 ]

Stop comparing yourself to other girls, no matter how pretty, clever, cool or cashed-up they are.

No one will ever have your unique twist of talents, perspectives or beauty.

You do enough. You have enough. You are enough.

Stop comparing yourself to other girls, no matter how talented, well-dressed, popular or capable they are.

You improve the world more than you can possibly comprehend, just by being true to who you are every day.

Go outside & be fabulous. Watching who you are, & seeing what you’re becoming, makes us so proud to know you. The world delights in your presence. We all love you very much.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Tags: inspiration, life, madame
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First Date Etiquette

[ 13 August 2008, 20:54 ]

MissElle @galadarling Sushi land of horrors. Pre-mature balding and open palm on unwelcoming knees. Escaping through BFF phonecall, no turning back.

sugaducks @galadarling the guy tried to hold my hand. with ZERO chemistry. IN public. What happened to personal space?

daynadesastre @galadarling It was so awkward it only lasted 1 date. Afterwards I found out he tried to rape my friend’s boyfriend. 140 isn’t enough …

juliettemaxwell @galadarling Worst first date, involves a movie a bad car ride and the fact that he made me touch his beard eugh!

paulgerhardt @galadarling I got hit by a car 15 minutes before the date started; then watched “Freaky Friday” (2003); that sums up the whole relationship

birdiepie @galadarling – haha got hit in the head with a kendo staff by a goofy boy, trying to impress. went home alone shortly after, v. unimpressed

expat_erin @galadarling model gorgeous Macedonian guy (19 to my 24) who would not reciprocate oral. I shamed him into doing it and then I went home.

AnnieSpandex @galadarling The only two blind dates I’ve been on have been horrible miscalculations on my friend’s part. Zero chemistry = bad first date.

msjeanneb @galadarling Went to a movie, wound up holding hands and cringing away from the screen and each other. It was all kinda lame ultimately.

ferrouswheel @galadarling: worse date, girl went home with another guy while I was stuck DJing.

evilolive @galadarling We saw the movie Psycho, and then his car broke down in the rain. Police officers drove me home. We didn’t have a second date.

flutterby3 @galadarling Old friend took me to dinner, we got along great, then in the driveway he slurped my face & tried 2 handcuff me 2 the door. 0_o

rachelhills @galadarling My worst date would have to be the one where I literally ran away from the guy at the end of it.

mary_bee @galadarling the guy was missing his two front teeth, but kept it secret until he lunged at me for a kiss. he was really good at hiding it

mary_bee @galadarling – there’s nothing like the prospect of a date who can french kiss without opening his mouth. EEEWWW!!!!

skipp @galadarling this fellow Sandy seemed nice but immature. we lay down to watch TV and he immediately started trying to dry hump me. AWKWARD.

Oh, baby. These are not pretty stories. In fact, some of them are downright horrifying. It’s evident that some people just don’t know how to make a good impression! Avoid being a cautionary tale (or terrifying anecdote) by considering the following guidelines!

Remember, none of these are hard & fast rules — obviously the hope is that you & your date connect so well that none of these things even enter your mind — but they’re good parameters!

Be on time
I wrote about this in my article on How To Ace A Job Interview, but that’s because being punctual is really important! Arriving on time & being somewhere at the time you said you’d be shows that you respect whoever you’re meeting. I’m pretty tolerant these days but people running late still makes me feel pretty miffed!

It’s all about first impressions, & if you don’t show up on time, whoever’s waiting for you is probably going to feel pretty pissed off, as well as second-rate. A couple of minutes here or there is not such a big deal, but if you’re running 15 or 30 minutes behind time, make sure you text or call to let your date know! Like I’ve said before, people’s time is valuable to them — it’s one of the few things you can’t really buy — so be courteous & keep them in the loop!

Make an effort!
Let me put this plainly: looking like you just rolled out of bed is totally unacceptable… unless of course you’re doing that tousled sex kitten thing, which, done properly, takes hours to perfect! For most people, this is not something that needs to be said, but for some… well, they might need the odd reminder. So here it is.

I mean, you’re on a date! It’s one of the most potential-laden situations of all time! Anything could happen from here. You could fall madly in love, get pregnant, decide to elope, meet your new best friend or even the best friend of your future lover! This is just one of those events that demands a little extra prep.

Even if it’s not the ideal scenario for primping & preening — say you’re going for dinner straight after work — you can still take a couple of seconds to brush your teeth, change your shoes, apply some more mascara or spritz some fragrance. After all, you never know what might happen… !

Avoid arguments
Most people go out on dates to have a good time & maybe find someone to snuggle — not to prove that they were once on the debating team! Basically, arguing with someone you’ve just met is not always the most charming thing. Yes, of course, some people have ridiculous opinions on everything under the sun, but if you can just shake that off & not take the bait, your evening will be much more pleasant & conflict-free. Staying away from subjects like politics & religion are usually a good tactic; at least on the first date.

Having said that, it all depends on what you’re there for. If you’re just looking for someone to sleep with, then knowing their political stance on tuna fishing is probably not that important. But if you’re a strict Catholic & you’re on the market for a relationship, you’re probably not going to be too amped if your date digs human sacrifice. Do it your own way, but proceed with caution!

Be charming & positive
Even if you just had the world’s worst week, think back to your last Things I Love Thursday list (wink wink!) &, well, in the words of Monty Python, look on the bright side of life! There’s nothing worse than being held hostage by someone who only wants to whinge & moan — while conversely, there’s nothing more fabulous than spending time with someone who is in love with life! That kind of energy is infectious… in a good way!

So turn it on & be happy. Remember that you’re trying to make the best possible impression — which probably means that angsting about your job is out!

Don’t talk about your ex
I would take it a step further from this & say that talking about relationships at all on the first date is pretty much a no-go. No one is deluded enough to think you don’t have a history, but it doesn’t need to be raised immediately. After all, if the first thing you talk about is your ex, whoever you’re with is going to conclude that your last relationship is still pretty close to the surface — & no one wants to be a rebound!

I think the truth is that no one ever really wants to hear about who came before them. It’s just a bit uncomfortable. It’s all too easy to start that ugly cycle of comparing yourself with them, & that never ends well. So do your date a favour, & keep your mouth shut on the subject.

Ask about the other person
A perennial truth: Everyone’s favourite thing to talk about is themselves! While this fact might initially make you feel slightly down in the mouth, recognise it for the blessing it is. It means that you never have to worry about being boring or fossicking around to come up with conversation — just ask about them! That’s it! That’s all you have to do! Ask them questions & take an interest. They will come away from the conversation thinking you are the most scintillating date ever. (Good trick, huh?!)

Hopefully they will ask about you too, but if they don’t, you’ll know they’re probably not worth seeing again!

Keep it clean
...Unless you’re absolutely certain they’re receptive to an in-depth discussion of your nun fetish or your penchant for telling filthy jokes! Most people don’t swear like pirates, & you might offend them if you do.

Although honestly, the more I think about it, the more controversial this point seems. I mean, if you love to curse your head off, or if you’re nothing without your collection of Japanese pornography (& if your partner not being able to cope with that is a deal-breaker), maybe it would be good for you to lay your cards on the table at the very start. Again, it all depends on what you’re looking for, & maybe how kinky whatever you’re considering sharing is!

Don’t criticise
I’ll keep this one simple: you’re not their mother, & they’re probably not interested in your opinion. Sweet! Let’s move on!

Respect their personal space!
This one is really important, & mostly it comes down to understanding social cues. If you’re not very good at guessing how people are feeling, now’s the time to learn! Go to the library & get out some books on body language as a starting point. Really though, what this means is that if you can accurately interpret other people’s behaviour, you hopefully won’t end up in one of those scary situations above — like totally-inappropriate-dry-humping or no-chemistry-hand-holding-in-public!

Drop the phone, buster
Okay, I know this is kind of controversial because a lot of us are in pretty unhealthy, codependent relationships with our phones. I don’t care about mine so much in New Zealand, but in America, where I could text for free, check my email & look at my site, I was chronic. It would have been embarrassing if I was more self-conscious. Anyway, my point is, the person you’re sitting with — who I’m assuming you have only recently met — is not going to feel too fabulous if you seem more intrigued by whoever is on the other side of your screen. Once you know each other a little bit, you can relax, send text messages & take phone calls, but honestly, if you’re on your phone all the way through the date, recognise that it’s probably not going to win you any popularity contests.

Really, it’s all about being in the moment. Sharing that with someone is one of the best gifts you can give them. But of course, the key lies in being in the moment with the person on the other side of the table, not your friend in Minnesota!

Now, the perennial question. Should you sleep with them on the first date?

I tend to think that it kind of takes the fun out of things. This has nothing to do with that old saying of “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” — which I think is sad — but really it’s more about the suspense & anticipation of finally sleeping with someone when you’ve been wanting to for ages! (Ages like… the second date. I kid, I kid!) It’s so much more fun that way, plus you get the thrill of the chase. Psychological titillation! There’s nothing like it for a good time!

What do you think?

Best of luck in your dating endeavours! I hope you end up like the couple above — dancing, smiling & wearing silly hats!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Tags: how to, life, madame, monsieur
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2008 Trends & The Imaginary Girls Who Make Them Look Magical

[ 25 June 2008, 12:56 ]

Trend: Gold nail-polish
How? Slick your fingertips with Curry Up Don’t Be Late! by OPI. Play it up with gilded accoutrements that flash but don’t scream.

Candace swept into her international relations lecture at the last minute. As she set her handbag down with an unceremonious clunk, she took a long swig of water & surveyed the room. She stepped up to the lectern & cleared her throat. “Let me tell you what I know about post-positivist epistemology,” she said.

Trend: Harem pants
How? Pair with form-fitting tops & plenty of skin. Add fun accessories so you look more dapper than belly-dancer!

Minnie’s favourite thing to do after attending an environmental rally or a peace march was smile sweetly at shop-keepers while she shoplifted petty items — mints, lip gloss, key-rings. It helped keep the balance, she rationalised.

Trend: Prints
How? Try something bold, something which intimidates you a bit — & don’t be afraid to be “matchy-matchy”!

Jennifer loathed going to the dentist, so she wore her favourite cardigan & stuck her thumbs through the self-made holes in the sleeves. As she lay back in the chair, she tuned out the dentist’s incessant prattling & imagined diving for sunken treasure, naked.

Trend: Shirt dresses
How? Couple with natural fabrics for an immaculately crisp summer look. Add a slip in a plain colour to avoid unintentional exposure!

Xenia’s job at the museum made her pretty happy, but she would never admit that her favourite part of the day was sitting in the Egyptian room eating dumplings when everyone else had gone home.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Louis Vuitton Cruise Collection 2009

[ 20 June 2008, 17:19 ]

Last night was the Louis Vuitton Cruise Collection preview. I received the invitation a couple of weeks ago, & all it said was…

I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. Cocktails, okay. But would there be a show? A media presentation? Models? Or a mad rush of fashionistas trampling one another to get to the champagne?

I turned up at Michelson Studio, which from the outside was a very inconspicuous building with an elevator at street level. Two girls dressed in black & wearing black silk scarves covered in a multi-coloured Louis Vuitton monogram took my name, checked me off a list & I tottered into the elevator.

The doors opened to a huge space, white & glorious, set up like a kind of labyrinth with a view of the river. Makeshift walls had been erected & featured fabulous illustrations by Tanya Ling, & along the improvised passageways the cruise collection was displayed. Dresses hung, tantalising me with their details & craftsmanship. Handbags in bright colours sat proudly on shelves. Shoes winked & glimmered under the lights.

The collection was designed by Marc Jacobs, & I think he did a magnificent job. I was very pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it, actually. It was gorgeous. There were plenty of pieces there that I would love to own. There was so much colour & vibrancy, which I really appreciated. Many of the pieces were bold, brash & daring. Bravo monsieur!

One of the most amazing things (to me) was the fact that the pieces on display were available to try on. I was too busy chatting for it to occur to me to don any of the wares, but I should have! How fabulous would an impromptu photoshoot have been?! Oh, me & my big mouth! Next time!

This is my favourite piece from the collection. I am not the sort of girl to describe anything as “fierce”, but this? A hot pink jumpsuit? It is ABSOLUTELY, 100% FIERCE! Maybe a bunch of us could save up to buy it & then wear it in turns?!

Yum-o-rama!

I also really like this ensemble. Pink & silver shoes, an enormous pink bag, a visor & patent leather fingerless driving gloves! Swoon! I would wear all of those accessories in a heartbeat!

This dress is so fabulous that it doesn’t need any explanation. Look at the beautiful shape & the pink lining! Excuse me while I wipe the drool from the corners of my mouth. If that doesn’t inspire you, nothing will!

Okay — now on to close-ups of the actual pieces as I saw them!

These heels are magnifique. Not so high you can’t walk in them — practicality can be useful! — & the most luscious colour.

I am not usually a monogram kinda gal. But I might make an exception for a bag like this. It’s nice & big, too. Perfect for overnight trips to the Hamptons (‘cause that’s so my ‘hood!). What would I pack in it? Gold doubloons, perhaps… an entire set of Encyclopædia Britannica… a fabulous hat… & an Oompa Loompa (strictly for entertainment purposes).

I love these. They are the kind of shoes I’d wear on the weekend if I was a sexy astronaut woman. I’d lie back in my lawn chair in Florida, vodka & tonic in hand, fantasising about flipping pancakes in a kitchen on the moon.

GASP. Okay. I think I actually have to own these. I mean… that is perfection in a glove.

Oh, Marc. OH, MARC. A glove like this could make a girl’s life complete. Or give her a heart attack. Perhaps a bit of both. A good fingerless glove is hard to find (& I have been searching since last year). I think I have met my match. Oh, pink gloves! Come to me! I would rock these so hard, it would be like… Stonehenge!

Of course, there were other pieces too, but they were designed for the more conservative crowd & didn’t appeal to my inner sartorial maniac. But I love that Marc took risks where it counted. I’m all about accessories anyway, so all the pink really tickled my fancy.

So… what do you think of the collection? I think I need to start putting money aside every week so I can snap some of these pieces up when they come out in November/December… & I simply must own a pink jumpsuit!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Wear Pink Cowboy Boots

[ 14 June 2008, 08:30 ]

“I recently bought a pair of bright pink cowboy boots (on complete impulse!) and haven’t worn them yet. I know they’re gonna be big and I’ve seen them start to creep onto the high street, so I want to look like I’m really ahead of the trends. But I have no ideas what to wear them with! Could you give me some help?”

The absolute best thing about a pair of hot pink cowboy boots is that it proves you have a sense of humour. I mean, how could you not? As soon as you put them on, it’s pretty much proof that you have a personality. A pair of pink cowboy boots are not for the shy. They are not shrinking violet territory. They are loud & fabulous & they shout, “HERE I AM!” While you could dress them down, I think this would do them an injustice. I think the best thing is to use them as a platform to step it up a notch.

Having a pair of coloured cowboy boots can be limiting, but that doesn’t mean you can’t rock them to glorious effect. I once owned a pair of duck-egg blue cowboy boots. I saw them in a shop window, fell in love & wore them to death. (Proof: 1, 2, 3.) Some people didn’t like them, but they made me obscenely happy, so I wore them & loved them until the very end. I still miss them!

A good pair of cowboy boots is a very versatile item. It doesn’t have to be all jeans & down-on-the-ranch-wear! I have had an amazing amount of use from the cowboy boots I own at the moment. They are black & brown, have taken a total beating (I wore them at Burning Man) & still beg for more! I’ve worn them with a bedshirt, shorts & red lipstick, a vintage nightgown & a faux-fur coat, a sundress & yellow bow belt & the same outfit, winter-ified.

Having said all this, here are some outfits I whipped up with the help of Polyvore, based around hot pink cowboy boots.

Perfect for a trip to the playground, a bit of cupcake munching & a ferocious game of air hockey.

More conservative cowboy-boot-ism, but it still speaks loudly. Your boots say, “Here I am!”, your shirt says, “I have taste!” & your sunglasses say, “Science fair geek!”. Mixed messages? Why yes. But isn’t it more fun that way?

The ideal brunch outfit. Just don’t spill maple syrup on your shirt.

Perfect for a little antique shopping, followed by a cup of frozen yoghurt the size of your head. You might also feel the urge to just sit on a bench & look delicious — & of course, you should go right ahead & do that!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Kink Under The Covers

[ 28 April 2008, 21:37 ]

“What would you recommend to spice up your sex life? I’m with a lovely guy who I trust (and who trusts me) implicitly. We have an enjoyable sex life but it’s so… meh. Two positions, totally plain. He’s also very inexperienced and quite submissive, so doesn’t feel he’s knowledgeable enough to bring up new ideas. And I, for once, am completely at a loss for inspiration! So one of my goals is to remedy this. Do you have any tips/suggestions/links/cupcakes that you think could solve, or at least enhance, my lacklustre love life? Indeed, if there’s a cupcake that could enhance it, I’d be more the happier!”

Absolutely! There are lots of things you can do to make your intimate life more sexy, exciting & stimulating! Here are a few suggestions. (By the link, practically all of the links that follow aren’t safe for work. Consider yourself warned!)

Buy a good sex book
It’s one of the best ways to fill your head with new ideas, while at the same time giving you a crash course in sexual health. (We all need reminders!) You might like to go to the sexuality section of your local bookstore & peruse the shelves; I often find that Borders has a huge selection of sex manuals as well as erotica. However, I have to say, my absolute favourite sex book is The Guide To Getting It On!, by Paul Joannides & Daerick Gross. It is truly awesome. It’s required reading at colleges across America, which you might think would mean it’s a pretty dry book. Not at all! It’s the kind of book you read for fun (or “pleasure”, mwahaha) — the writing is humorous, always interesting & thought-provoking. Any book with a chapter called “The Zen Of Finger F*cking” has to be good! Get your hands on a copy & read it with your boyfriend, enjoy the illustrations (they are racy & cool) & use some Post-It notes to mark things you’d like to try together! You might also like to look into some of Violet Blue’s books — she has written some fantastic stuff about fetishes, role play, porn & various sex acts!

Find a few good sex blogs
There are all kinds of things online that will appeal to you, it’s all about what floats your boat. You can experiment with erotica, pretty pictures, sex ed & the infamous Fleshbot. If you add one (or several) of these blogs to your RSS reader, you’ll get a steady influx of racy loveliness, which will definitely raise your libido & keep your mind ticking in a lusty manner!

Subscribe to a sexy/erotic podcast…
...& listen to it together in bed! Turn the lights down low, get scantily clad & see where the words take you! If you search “sex podcast” in iTunes, you’ll be presented with a slew of podcasts to digest & enjoy.

Watch porn together
I don’t mean that mass-produced stuff starring human Barbie dolls (well, unless that appeals to you!) — I mean the good stuff, & believe me, it does exist. I think Andrew Blake is a pretty great pornographer: what he does is more high-end erotica than terrifying close-ups & whatnot. For example, Dita Von Teese stars in Pin-Ups 2. Vivid Alt have some good titles, too. For more suggestions, Violet Blue is your girl — she used to review porn for a living! Check out her recommendations for what she calls “smart porn” — less long fingernails (eeesh!) & faux-orgasms, more genuine pleasure & realistic lovin’!

Write down your fantasies…
...on little scraps of paper, have your boyfriend do the same, then draw one or two out of a hat every week! You could even have little “dates” a few nights a week, where you make drawing a fantasy out of a hat a habit. Fun fun! If you have performance anxiety & can’t think of anything to write down, have a look at BDSM Scenarios: Ideas To Spark Your Sex Life.

Do a striptease!
Have your lover do one, too! (It’s only fair…)

Dress up…
...in a saucy outfit & let him have his wicked way with you (or vice versa)! Pretending to be someone else can really help if you’re feeling pressured to get it on & have an amazing time, etc. Boss him around or let him tell you what to do, & come up with outfits to match. Bonus points if you surprise him at the door wearing just your knickers under a trenchcoat, or jump out of his closet wearing nothing but one of his shirts!

Try getting it on in different locations
Sometimes a change of scenery is just what you need. Try messing around in your car, by the beach, in a forest, behind the stacks at your local library, in a cupboard at IKEA, or wherever works for you… just don’t get caught!

Go shopping
No, not for tomato sauce & a head of broccoli… for bedroom accoutrements! Handcuffs, Swarovski crystal embellished whips, toys, blindfolds, feathers, whatever takes your fancy! If you’re too shy to buy in person, Good Vibrations is a great place to start.

What are your best hints for making your sex life more saucy? Go on, spill!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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iCiNG Transformation Challenge Discussion!

[ 20 April 2008, 18:52 ]

Happy iTC, everyone!

This is the official discussion area for the iCiNG Transformation Challenge. It’s linked in the side-bar (look for the hot pink paper crane!), so you will have easy & constant access to it throughout the month. Feel free to come here & talk about how you’re doing, give other people support & help iron out any creases in your personal Challenge.

However, there are a few rules!

Use the “best friend” scenario
When we have bad days, it can be easy to get down on ourselves & say negative things or make harsh judgements. As soon as we start proclaiming how much we suck, it just makes us feel worse. If you haven’t had a fabulous day, instead of belittling yourself in a comment, imagine you are standing at the front of a room with your best friend & she or he is describing how you went. Odds are, their description of you would be much more gentle, loving & kind than what’s in your head! (If you don’t have a best friend, or your best friend is secretly a monster in disguise, imagine it’s me instead!)

No numbers
(This really only applies to those of us doing health & physical Challenges.) Please be considerate of where other people are coming from. For example, you might only want to gain/lose x kilograms, but some people will want to gain/lose y — & if they read that, they might feel bad & decide it’s not worth bothering. Similarly, discussing your measurements or counting calories can be quite discouraging or upsetting to people. It’s awesome to have goals but if they’re number-related, please keep them to yourself for now! You may be healthy but there are lots of people with food & body image-related issues, so please — no weight or measurement comments.

Leave as many comments as you like!
This is your space, so you can do what you like with it. I’ll be dropping by to talk about how I went & what I did for the day, as well as leaving note of encouragement for other people. You can treat it like a group journal if you like — a catalogue of our successes & difficulties, lots of love & ideas to keep ourselves going!

Some other things that will improve your iTC:
Do your very best to phrase your experiences in the positive, rather than the negative.
You might like to start your comment with DAY 1/27 (for example) so you can get a bit of perspective!
Don’t use this as your only record of how you’re going & what you’re doing — if you can get your hands on a notebook (or even a few pieces of paper), you should chart your progress there too.
Bookmark this page & make sure you come back often!

Best of luck everyone! I know we can do it!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Style By The Stars: What's Your Astrological Aesthetic?

[ 13 April 2008, 21:33 ]

Aquarius
20 January – 18 February

Aquarians are true eccentrics — it’s almost impossible to peg them down, except to say that they are all wildly different! They love to shock & they go out of their way to make a statement & an entrance. Every Aquarius has a favourite, secret vintage shop, or undying devotion to some bizarre new enfant terrible designer. Aquarians adore bright colours & plastic; there is probably a high percentage of them in your local rave scene!

For more information, see How To Spot An Aquarius.

Pisces
19 February – 20 March

Pisces are shoe-mad & likely to have an amazing collection of avant-garde footwear stashed under the bed. With their dreamy aesthetic, they can find it exceptionally difficult to get dressed for work. Female Pisceans prefer dresses & skirts to trousers, & their vivid imagination often has them yearning to dress in period costume or to imitate the look of someone in a movie. Their shopping style is intuitive & things just seem to work. They adore blue, silk, chiffon & tulle!

For more information, see How To Spot A Pisces.

Aries
21 March – 19 April

Aries are driven, no-nonsense people, & they dress in a way that reflects that. Your typical Aries woman prefers pants to skirts or dresses, & rarely wears heels because, well, they just slow her down! Aries love fashion & are often at the front of trends, but they stay away from anything too frilly or feminine. It’s common for people born under Aries to have an obsession with the colour red, & you’ll often see it around them, in their accessories, lipstick, car or gadgets. (My mother is an Aries & her glasses, lips & cellphone are all red!)

For more information, see How To Spot An Aries.

Taurus
20 April – 21 May

Taureans are the earthiest of the earth signs, & so natural colours (like dark green & brown) easily make their way into the Taurus’ wardrobe. While they love a good bargain, they are also capable of spending enough money to put the King Of Pop to shame. They either look uber-luxe or they dress down on purpose — Taureans don’t like other people knowing their business! They are drawn to soft, tactile fabrics like velvet, wool & silk, & can often be found swaddled, blissed out in a corner. They also like to draw attention to their throats by wearing chokers, necklaces or scarves.

For more information, see How To Spot A Taurus.

Gemini
22 May – 23 June

Geminis like to keep up with what’s going on in the world of fashion. They’re always the girls who have hundreds of fashion blogs in their RSS reader, & they probably have a few magazine subscriptions, too. It’s usual for Geminis to have a couple of different looks that they switch between, to avoid boring themselves — one might be elegant & one might be a little slouchier, or one look is quite feminine while the other is more androgynous. Geminis love silver jewellery & cool, light colours — light pink, icy blue & canary yellow are all favourites.

For more information, see How To Spot A Gemini.

Cancer
23 June – 22 July

Cancerians think sentimentally about clothing, & will keep dresses that they consider lucky or a coat that they had a great night out in 15 years ago. They love to mix & match their emotionally-laden pieces with newer things. They’re also mad keen on vintage, & love the thrill of reworking old clothes to make them look fresh. Cancer girls, whether well-endowed or not, love to show off their heaving bosom! They will often subconsciously go for low-cut tops without even really thinking about it. (This also makes them one of the most popular signs of the zodiac, especially at parties!)

For more information, see How To Spot A Cancer.

Leo
23 July – 22 August

Leo women love to toss their mane & get noticed! They rarely dress down & thrive on being the most exciting dresser in the room. Your average Leo’s (ha! Who am I kidding? There’s no such thing!) wardrobe is stuffed to the brim with sequins, silks, animal prints & fur (real as well as faux). They love sensual, tactile fabrics. Some of a Leo’s other favourite things include designer labels, hats, the colours gold & purple & standing out from the crowd. Their idea of hell is turning up to an exclusive soiree in the same dress as someone else — or wearing a uniform!

For more information, see How To Spot A Leo.

Virgo
23 August – 22 September

Virgos are the organisers of the zodiac, & so it’s rare that they will just go on a random shopping spree & come home with a sequence of unrelated garments. No way. They’ll have a list (if not on paper, then definitely in their heads) & they will not rest until they find this or that elusive piece! Virgos have an eye for detail & so for them, it’s all about accessories. They love detailed prints, unusual stockings & jewellery, & are likely to have a fabulous collection of hats & scarves. Their clothing always fits them impeccably (they are probably best friends with their tailor) & their motto is “quality, not quantity”.

For more information, see How To Spot A Virgo.

Libra
23 September – 22 October

Libran women are some of the most feminine in the zodiac. They love floral perfumes, dresses & heels — feeling & looking like a woman are of utmost importance to them. As die-hard romantics, a date or a new boyfriend are two of their favourite reasons to go shopping! They were also (in an informal poll) voted “most likely to dress to please their partner”. Librans dig balance, too, so they love to play up interesting proportions & colour combinations.

For more information, see How To Spot A Libra.

Scorpio
23 October – 21 November

Scorpios are sultry sirens, & for them, clothing is about sex appeal, power & control. They often have a penchant for mind-blowing lingerie, which they wear under everything to boost their self-confidence. Your favourite goth is probably a Scorpio, as they have a few of the same interests — an obsession with the colour black, for instance, as well as a huge collection of boots & semi-fetish wear. (Scorpios adore corsets, fishnet & PVC.) They also spend a small fortune on maintenance, & they’re always waxed with great hair.

For more information, see How To Spot A Scorpio.

Sagittarius
22 November – 21 December

Sagittarians can never stand still & this is reflected in what they wear. Most Sagittarians are obsessive globe-trotters, & they love to wear trinkets & totems from their travels. Depending on the Sag, this can range from strutting around the house in a kimono to just wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Santa Monica’! They’re pretty earthy, too, & as well as loving comfort, they like to buy things that last. Natural fibres make them smile, & they’re likely to own an old leather jacket & a pair of great boots that they wear with everything.

For more information, see How To Spot A Sagittarius.

Capricorn
23 December – 19 January

Capricorns are often workaholics, & so they dress to fit with that. For them, work isn’t just a place they go, it’s an extension of them, & something laden with meaning. It’s not just corporate Capricorns either — the more arty Caps dress for their profession too. Regardless, they like to have the best. Their Louis Vuitton bag would never be a replica. Some of the Capricorn woman’s favourite things include classic tailoring, showing off their great legs, pinstripes & dressing down on the weekend.

For more information, see How To Spot A Capricorn.

How accurate do you think these descriptions are? I think the Virgo stylescope is on the money, & I can definitely draw parallels between what I’ve read & how some of my friends dress — especially the Scorpios & Sagittarius’s! What do you think?

Oh, & as much as I wish I was a fabulous astrologer, I’m just not! These astrological style-scopes were compiled with the thanks & help of the following sites, which I highly recommend!

Fashion Tips by Sign
Neptune Fashion Profiles
What’s What: Fashion Stars
Spring Into Fashion: Tips By Sign
Donnalyn’s Astro-Guide to Venus, Style and Party Fashions

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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8 Outfits & Ideas For The Perfect First Date

[ 8 April 2008, 01:51 ]

After months of shy coffee shop flirting, Fawn finally wore this to browse an art gallery with Mark. When they walked outside, their nervous conversation changed track & she gave him an impromptu tango lesson in the garden outside.

Joanna & Ashley spoke candidly, laughed loudly & shocked the waiter at an elegant bistro. They rounded off the evening with martinis at the bar & a sweet dessert with two forks.

Dulcea & Quentin, art students from Brighton, had a picnic by a pond, followed by an exuberant Japanese photobooth session.

Carmen & Charles went for a spin on her scooter, followed by a small feast of hot dogs & Coke by the river’s edge. When she found herself using a napkin instead of wiping her hands on her jeans, she realised she must really like him.

Farrell & Ruby went to a sushi train restaurant. After a bottle of sake, they sat closer than they needed to at an outdoor cinema.

Trent wore this to go with Karl to a poetry reading. Later, they talked about Nabokov, hands gesticulating wildly over a bottle of red wine.

James & Bambi ate vegetarian burgers in her car before checking out a warehouse party her friend was throwing. (When he took off his hoodie, Bambi — a big Yoko Ono fan — hugged him out of sheer delight.)

Nicholas took Violet to an underground hip-hop show, danced with her in the back of the room & watched as she fell in love with him.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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What Would You Wear At 40?

[ 31 March 2008, 22:05 ]

“I confess, when I shop with my 19 year-old daughter, I am so envious of the style choices she has. PLEASE do women like me a favor! How can a forty-something mom build a style without large expense (we are paying for college you know) which will look new and fresh but appropriate for our age. Remember, we don’t have the great bodies we did at your age. Classic but unexpected. Flattering. Age-appropriate but FUN! What do you see yourself wearing at 40?“

People often write to me saying that they’re x age or y weight, what do I think they should wear? It can be hard to answer questions like that, because I don’t believe that just because you’re not young or thin (the theoretical ideal), that you should have some kind of boring style prescription. I think dressing in a way that makes you happy is the most important thing, & when you’re being told what you can & can’t wear, the fun gets sucked out of it pretty quickly.

This email was different. She asked, “What do you see yourself wearing at 40?” — a much better way of phrasing things. It made my brain whirr. Of course, what I’ve come up with is my style, & therefore not necessarily suitable or even something you can picture yourself in. But it does give us a jumping off point!

Here’s what I came up with.

A simple outfit with a splash of purple. This would be great for a day off, shopping or walking my Dachshund!

40 year old Gala on her private jet. Oh yes. Secret spy woman with colour-coordinated accessories!

Black & white & super-chic. I absolutely adore this outfit. It’s just not quite the sort of thing I can pull off yet.

I think older women look so amazing in black & white. It’s so clean, & it makes them look clear-headed, intelligent & successful.

While it can be easy to feel like you’re being left out of the fun trends that your daughter is slithering into, remember that as a woman, there are a lot of things you can pull off that younger people can’t. As we grow & mature, our presence expands, & our whole way of being changes.

So as a grown woman, don’t feel limited. Think about it — while it may not be in your budget, the real high-end fashion houses make clothing for women who are your age. Not young whippersnappers! If you need some inspiration, look at fabulous women your age & see what they’re wearing. Think about Coco Chanel, Lauren Bacall, Diana Vreeland, Nicole Kidman, Iman, Julianne Moore, Kate Spade… !

I imagine that when I’m 40, my style will have evolved quite a lot. I probably won’t be so keen on super-short skirts or sleeveless tops. I envision a huge closet full of obscenely beautiful things — great coats, fabulous shoes, delicious handbags. I will probably have moved past my obsession with shoes that have springs & platforms! I can’t even begin to imagine what my hair would be like… I will probably still have a penchant for black worn with a splash of colour, & unusual jewellery.

This whole thing reminds me of “Warning” by Jenny Joseph.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

What do you think you’ll wear when you get older? Make a Polyvore set & link it in the comments if you’re feeling really creative!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How Hirsute Are You?!

[ 28 March 2008, 16:40 ]

“What have you found the be the best solution for facial hair? I don’t mean advice on how to grow a beard, more like how to remove that irritating little strip of hair on the upper lip. I’ve used bleach, then moved on to a cream hair remover, and am now thinking about getting it professionally waxed. I have my hesitations though. In the past month I got a monroe piercing, and don’t feel too comfortable with someone dripping hot wax around it, followed by possibly yanking it out! While I would love to just get some sort of laser surgery and never have to worry about it again, it’s not really in my price range. So, possibly with the help of your readers, what is the best method for facial hair removal?”

Ahhh yes, facial hair. Moustaches & chin hair & other unsightly sproutings, otherwise known as the bane of women everywhere! (Well, except for JD Samson from Le Tigre…)

Your removal method will depend on your growth. For this reason, I have devised a little quiz…

When I look in the mirror, I…
Notice a little bit of fuzz if I lean in close & squint (1 point)
Can see little dark bits at either corner of my mouth (2 points)
Have to stand back so my moustache doesn’t touch the glass (3 points)

My normal hair removal method is…
Not applicable — I don’t need to do anything to it (1 point)
Cream bleach or hair remover (2 points)
Lawnmower/prayer (3 points)

My facial hair has impacted on my life in the following way:
I don’t think it has (1 point)
My boyfriend once mentioned it so I keep it in check (2 points)
I was offered the part of “bearded lady” in my school play… every year (3 points)

Your score

Between 1 & 3 points: Glabrous Gal
Lucky you! You have a minimal amount of facial fuzz & so you’re in the enviable position of not having to do anything to keep your upper lip looking luscious.

If you have a little bit of what they call “peach fuzz” (this is normal, by the way), don’t be tempted to shave, wax or otherwise fiddle about with it — while some people think this doesn’t affect the thickness or darkness of the hair, others swear up & down that it will forever alter the way it grows. If you can stay hassle-free, do! It’s not worth it!

Between 4 & 6 points: Sprouting Sweetheart
You probably have a few dark hairs on your upper lip. Before you start despairing, rest assured that you have many options, among them bleaching, waxing, threading, cream hair removal & electrolysis.

Bleaching & cream hair removal are both things you can do at home with kits from the supermarket. It takes less than ten minutes & is a very easy way to get rid of your mo. However, depilatory cream can make you feel a bit “stubbly” as it grows back, which isn’t a great aphrodisiac. Also, if your skin is quite dark, think before you bleach your hair! Some bleaches turn the hair totally white, while others (like Sally Hansen) come in a few different tones to match the skin. When it comes to either of these hair removal methods, be sure to buy a gentle brand (again, Sally Hansen is good), because the formulas can be quite harsh on sensitive skin.

A lot of people swear by threading (which is also great for eyebrows) as a removal technique, which pulls the hair out entirely but is more gentle than waxing.

Waxing is probably the most painful route, but also the most popular! It lasts a long time, about 3 or 4 weeks, but reactions to waxing are common (such as breaking out all over the waxed area) — so if you’ve ever had a bad reaction to a wax before, you might want to try beeswax or an alternative method of hair removal.

Electrolysis is the permanent option, & works by sending an electrical pulse down the hair follicle. You will usually need between 4 & 6 sessions to see results. It is the most expensive option, but also the most effective. Be sure to research a good salon before you have it done, as it is a fairly serious procedure & can result in scarring when done improperly.

If you only have the occasional dark hair, a pair of tweezers might be your best friend!

Beyond 7 points: Piliferous Paramour
If you feel more fuzzy than fabulous, don’t worry! You are not alone! There are lots of things you can do to counter your hair growth.

Cream hair removal, waxing, threading & electrolysis are all excellent options for you. I would recommend electrolysis first of all, since after only a few (usually between 4 & 6) sessions, you should find the hair growth has stopped entirely — meaning you never have to think about it again! Hallelujah!

Waxing & threading would be joint second runners-up in terms of recommendation, since they remove the entire hair follicle, allowing you three to four weeks of hairless bliss.

Cream hair removal or depilatory cream is also an option, though it will require more upkeep than any of the other methods. On the plus side, it’s something you can do at home.

Women with dark upper lip hair often find themselves sprouting on the sides of their faces & chins, too. Whether you choose to remove all of the hair or only some, it’s worth talking to a great beautician to see what they can do for you.

Hirsuitism is actually a medical term & can be a symptom of some kind of disease, like Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) or some other adrenal-linked medical condition, so if you’re worried about it, you might want to get it checked out. Usually though, plentiful dark facial hair is just the result of having fabulous Middle Eastern or Mediterranean women in your family tree!

Having said all of this, what you decide to do (or not do) about your facial hair is your choice. There’s no reason why you can’t just rock it like Frida Kahlo!

P.S. If you’re feeling down on your fuzzy foliage, check out Flickr’s Hot Girl Mustache & fake moustachioed girls groups!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Themed Outfits For Intellectuals

[ 16 March 2008, 20:10 ]

I recently had a girl write to me, saying that she was sick of wearing jeans to university every day, & could I please come up with some potential outfits for her to wear? When she added, “Maybe they could be themed according to what people were studying”, a light-bulb went off in my head & I thought, YES! Yes! I WILL do that for you! It’s too great a concept not to.

For the meticulous chemistry student! Wow them with your knowledge of the periodic table & love of heavy metal(s)!

For the zany photography student! Sparkly shoes that catch the light can be used as an impromptu bounce flash!

For the excitable make-up artist in training! T-shirt with snide saying proves your devotion to the art!

For the miniature archaeologist! Perfect for those of you who only ever listen to The Bangles & make terrible jokes!

How does King Tut’s secretary answer his calls?
“He can’t talk right now, he’s all wrapped up!”

For the fledgling illustrator! Ahhhh… this outfit makes me want to be an artist.

Do you ever dress on theme for what you’re studying? I’d love to see a nutritionist wearing a t-shirt by Johnny Cupcakes... someone at police training college wearing a clip-on moustache… or a literature major wearing Busted’s Prose Before Hos tee!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Cute Coats (& How To Wear Them)

[ 7 March 2008, 22:22 ]

So, you’ve read How To Buy A Winter Coat. Now you just need to decide what you want! Here are some of my top picks & a few tips on how to wear them.

Splash out on a hooded waterproof jacket in a bright colour that you love & matches the rest of your wardrobe. Wear it on days when you want to bring a little excitement to your rainy city! Bonus points: Buy an umbrella in a matching colour for undeniable adorability!

Hunt out a cropped little leather jacket for maximum versatility. They’re super-warm & totally chic. Pair it with feminine pieces (like fitted skirts & high heels) to make a stylish impact & avoid the “Where’d you park your Harley?“ comments! Bonus points: Buy a vintage leather jacket on Ebay — you’ll get a good deal, & even better, it’ll be original!

Invest in a tuxedo jacket to dress up sleek, simple outfits. Team black & white with one other accent colour & you’ll feel like the cutest girl on the street. Don’t be afraid to wear fun, silly accessories! Bonus points: Tuxedo jackets work really well over formal cocktail dresses — kind of like you stole your lover’s jacket to keep you warm.

Swoon over a dress coat if you live in a really cold climate or your boss is a sadist who keeps the office freezing at all times! A great dress coat can be your entire outfit if you want it to be, but it also adds flair to anything underneath. Bonus points: Buy a fabulous belt in a contrasting colour to wear over the top & add shape to your outfit!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Fafi For MAC Cosmetics -- Reviews

[ 19 February 2008, 20:46 ]

On Monday, I received a FedEx package that made me yelp with excitement. It was a box from a PR company in New York. It said “MAC Cosmetics” on the outside. I thought, “Pffft, it couldn’t be. I bet someone wrote that just to get my attention!” But when I ripped it open in the elevator & looked inside, my heart started pounding. My hands trembled. I think I perspired a little bit. I ran down the corridor at full speed & started hollering excitedly at my boyfriend. Yes, I am a true MAC addict — these are the signs. It can get ugly!

I am now the proud owner of 29 pieces from the Fafi for MAC collection. Yes, that is a totally obscene amount of loot. More than anyone could ever need. Have I told you recently that I love my job?

They really couldn’t have sent this stuff to a more die-hard MAC fan. When I was about 15, I went to their counter (in Kirkcaldies) & bought my first piece of make-up with my own money. It was a powder foundation compact, & I was never the same again. Suddenly my skin-tone was even to the eye & silky to the touch. I became obsessed, so much so that my mother knows that the #1 thing to buy me at Christmas or on birthdays is anything from MAC. I have always had such good experiences with them that I have never felt the need to go anywhere else. I occasionally dabble in Napoleon Perdis but I always find my way back to that sleek counter with its metal stands & black-clad make-up artists. & I am never disappointed.

I’m so pleased to be able to review all these things for you, because (other than the fact that it is fun to use all this stuff) a lot of the colours defy appearances. Some of you might remember (in my first Fafi for MAC post) me proclaiming my love for Fun ‘N’ Sexy lipstick, but saying I wouldn’t buy it because the colour was just too much. Imagine my delight when I discovered that actually, it’s a gorgeous, sheer colour with not too much saturation or sparkle — extremely wearable & possibly my favourite lipstick of the bunch.

My friend & make-up artist Marie came over yesterday to play with all my new treats. We decided to try replicating some of the Fafi ‘looks’ from the collection. Here’s how it turned out.

The Fafi look is so dynamic on paper, I fell in love with it right away! I love the eye make-up — it’s kooky & mod all at the same time. To make to work on my face, Marie altered it a bit, because my eyes are much rounder than the example. I think it turned out pretty well. I look kind of like a bird!

The Cult Fave look is much more subtle than ‘Fafi’ but it’s still beautiful. Soft, light & totally wearable. Doesn’t Marie look gorgeous?

Okay, now. Drumroll please. Here’s what I received, as well as reviews & pictures. It’s been a messy, smudgy, sticky morning here in the iCiNG Bowl!

Glaze lipstick in Flash ‘N’ Dash
The first thing to know about the glaze lipsticks is that they are true to their name. The colour is not creamy or frosty or matte or any of those things — on the lips, it’s more like a highly-saturated gloss. So while Flash ‘N’ Dash looks wild in the tube, when you put it on your mouth it’s more of a flourish than a squawking statement. It has a very definite orange tint, which isn’t usually a colour I can wear, but this is subtle enough that it looks magnificent.

Glaze lipstick in Fun ‘N’ Sexy
My new favourite lipstick. While in the tube it seems like the kind of lipstick that would gouge the eye of any onlooker, it actually glides on slick & sheer. I guess that’s why it’s called a ‘glaze’ lipstick! It’s just like that. If you can imagine your lips as a dessert, this lipstick is the ultimate sugary enamel finish. Now, go out & be delicious!

Glaze lipstick in High Top
I can pretty much picture the sort of girl who would wear this colour all the time. She’d spend a lot of time sitting on the steps outside her apartment in New York, sucking on grape popsicles & scribbling down raps on a notepad. She’d call herself ‘MC Hi-Gloss’, wear big dangly earrings & be secretly in love with everyone. I think that’s all you need to know.

Glaze lipstick in Not So Innocent
This looks so pale in the tube, but once you slick it on, it exudes a totally different hue. It’s a very sheer, subtle nude colour, with tiny, shiny pearls in pink & peach. I am normally not into nude make-up (I have always been a little bit, ‘What’s the point?’), but this is so lovely it’s hard to resist. Eminently wearable, this is the sort of thing you want to put on when you want to wear lipstick but not look like you’re trying too hard.

Lustre lipstick in Strawbaby
Lustre lipstick is different to the glaze in that the colour is more saturated & stronger. Strawbaby is, by MAC’s definition, “coral rose with rainbow pearl”. I think that’s why I don’t like it — the mere mention of the word ‘coral’ gives me flashbacks to the 80’s. Screech! It’s not great with my skin tone, either; it just makes me look funny. I don’t think I’ll wear this much, but for those of you who love coral — well, you’re onto a winner!

Lipglass in Sugar Trance
MAC’s lipglasses are their take on a lip gloss. Super-high sheen, which is long-lasting & always a vibrant colour. One thing about their lipglass formulation is that it’s quite sticky. A lot of people don’t like this — it’s the sort of thing that your hair sticks to, crumbs cling to, & in Australia, it can easily make you feel like a strip of flypaper — so if you’re not a fan of the sticky mouthed thing, beware! Having said this, Sugar Trance is a superb soft pink with oodles of iridescence. I am a big fan.

Lipglass in Totally It
They got the name right with this one. This lipglass is RAUCOUS! The colour of the tube makes me think of a dazzling, intergalactic strawberry, but on the lips it’s quite different. It’s the perfect teenage pouty pink — berry-tastic & rich & a bit obnoxious. The colour your mouth would go if you lived on a steady diet of artificially red-coloured food (like popsicles & lollipops). Wear it next time you go rollerskating.

Lipglass in Squeeze It
Squeeze It looks plum in the tube, but on me it looked more like a deep red with a hint of bronze. It’s a darker colour than I’d usually wear but it’s quite a lovely shade with a bit of sparkle. I think I’m just too young for a colour this dark.

Lipglass in Cult Fave
Cult Fave is a deeper hue than Sugar Trance but quite similar. While Sugar Trance has a base of pink & peach, Cult Fave has notes of blue. Don’t let that put you off, though — blue-hued lipsticks or lip glosses make your teeth look super-white! — & this lipglass is totally kissable.

Paint pot in Layin’ Low
Layin’ Low is quite nude with a hint of pink. It’s not very dynamic on its own, but it would make a great base if you wanted to press some glitter or another colour over the top. I really like it — pair it with Not So Innocent for that “not made-up but totally made-up” look.

Paint pot in Perky
Creamy coral. Yes. There’s a lot of that in this collection! Perky goes on superbly (as do all the paint pots) but it just doesn’t grab me. Maybe because it’s too conservative.

Paint pot in Nice Vice
This is a dark purple with a hint of violet iridescence. While I like the colour in theory, I unfortunately find it extremely hard to wear without looking like a victim of a vicious street brawl. The good news is that you don’t have to use paint pots just as eye shadow — that is, all over your lid. A hint of this at the corners of your eyes or used along the lashes as a liner is often all you need.

Paint pot in Girl Friendly
Girl Friendly is a not-so-squeaky-clean pink. For those of you who like pink but don’t always want the saccharine overload that it tends to be, this is your paint pot! It’s quite a subtle colour that will suit a lot of people. I often use a MAC eye shadow called Nocturnelle (a shimmery berry colour) over my lids when I really want my eyes to pop, but this is going to be my new replacement. It’s not as dark but it is just as beautiful. Yummy.

Paint pot in Cash Flow
Bling bling! This is so Beyonce! I love that this is a paint pot, because I often find that gold eye shadow or powder doesn’t have a lot of staying power. This will stay for weeks! You’ll have to bribe it to leave! It will make a magnificent base for other colours you might want to layer up — how about parrot green or royal blue?

Paint pot in Rollickin’
Rollickin’ is the turquoise splashed all over my website, so of course I have a soft spot for it. It is gorgeous. It’s a superb, frosty turquoise with shimmery white pearl. It’s vibrant & gutsy & perfect for anyone wanting to experiment with the Cleopatra-esque make-up that McQueen sent out on the runway at the end of 2007. Oh, I love turquoise. What was it that Christian Dior said? Oh, yes…

“The tones of gray, pale turquoise and pink will prevail.” — Christian Dior

Marie was also really impressed by the paint pots. Here’s her review:

“Paint pots – at first I didn’t know how people would go with using them as I found them a little tricky to use but after “the test” I am now a convert. The Test – As you know yesterday was warm – 35 or so plus that warm wind didn’t help too cool me down. Got home mildly sweaty into a hot hot hot apartment. Our aircon isn’t amazing but with the heat and the fact that I baked cookies and cooked dinner I was reasonably moist. For any type of make-up I would forgive it if it slid off my face after all of that but not the paint pots! I actually rubbed my finger over my eye lids last night before taking off my make-up just to see the staying power. And baby it stays. No creases, smudges and the colour stayed true. I think paint pots would be great for anyone who has trouble with eye products creasing or just need some extra staying power while working it on the dance floor.”

Fafi Eyes 1
There are four colours in this superb eyeshadow compact. Vanilla, Hay, Pink Venus & Howzat. This palette is perfect for doing a smoky eye or just keeping it light. I used to use an old MAC eye shadow called Pink Freeze to dot the inner corners of my eyes — I do this because it makes them pop & look much brighter. But I think I have found new lovers in Vanilla & Hey. Vanilla is a creamy pale white, while Hey is a more moderate pale nude popped with white pearl. Gorgeous. Pink Venus was hard to photograph (so sorry!) but it is actually a super-soft & beautiful pale pink. Pink around the eyes sounds like you’re trying to do that heroin chic thing, but in reality, it looks really good. You should try it out, you might be surprised. & Howzat is a smoky grey with silver sparkles. Too much of it makes me look like someone socked me, but I know lots of die-hard goths (& neogoths, nudge nudge!) who will dust this stuff everywhere! I won’t, but I think it’ll make a great eyeliner!

Iridescent power in Belightful
Turns out, it is incredibly hard to get a good picture of iridescence (who would’ve thought, huh?). So you’ll just have to dream away with me! This powder is mind-blowingly fabulous. I am not much one for iridescent powers, or bronzer for that matter. It’s always seemed a bit “out there” for me, & I usually relish my pale look enough to skilfully avoid any bronzing powder, but Belightful is really fabulous. MAC call it a “gilded peach bronze” but to me it seems more like teeny flakes of gold shimmer. I am going to use it all the time.

Powder blush in Hipness
This is another one of the Fafi products that looks very different on to how it looks in the compact — or even in the description. They say “intense coral with soft white pearl”, & I say “light pink with a touch of shine”. Coral, it is not! But it’s fantastic, & is my new favourite blush.

Powder blush in Fashion Frenzy
This is a super-bright pink blush! I gave it to Marie, who will be able to wear it better than I ever could. It looks very pink in the compact & it is even more so on the skin. Especially on me, I am a pale wee thing! This would be a great blush for anyone with darker skin, though, who needs more saturation in their cheek colour.

Zoom lash mascara
I love all of MAC’s mascaras, & Zoom Lash is no exception. It’s dark, rich & magnificent. Perfect for those Bambi moments.

Fluidline in Blacktrack
Any of the Fluidline colours are my number one crush when it comes to eyeliner, & Blacktrack is the colour I use most often. (I even sang its praises in my Fashion Darling column. I just cannot go back to using a pencil these days — a little pot of Fluidline & a small angled brush are all you need!

Eye kohl in Smolder
While Fluidline is always my eyeliner of choice, MAC’s eye kohls are among the best in the business. Their fabulously rich texture makes them super-easy to apply & they just look more & more luscious as you layer them up. They’re easy to smudge, which is great if you’re wielding a brush with intent, though not so much if you’re pre-disposed to hayfever or absent-minded eye-rubbing! Just keep that in mind, okay?

Eye kohl in Fascinating
Fascinating is made with the usual MAC eye kohl formulation — thick, creamy, dreamy eyeliner. Except it’s white! If any of you wanted to try out that Erin Fetherston look of yore, Fascinating should be an essential part of your make-up bag. The hue is strong & vibrant — ideal for making eyes look bigger & more fanciful! Too lovely.

Brush 208
I actually already had one of these, & it’s what I use to do my cat’s eye make-up. It’s a sharp, fine angled brush which is brilliant for getting straight lines & making short work of long lines!

Brush 210
This is the brush Marie used to do my eye make-up in the ‘Fafi’ look. I haven’t actually used it myself yet, but she was over the moon with it. It is super-fine & very firm — so you can press quite hard while still drawing a thin line. Awesome for intricate detailed work.

Brush 182
This brush is gorgeous. Painfully so. Small & fat, it’s the perfect thing for applying blush, irridescent power or bronzer. The bristles grip colour well & a couple of sweeps are all you need for instant starlet cheekbones!

Nail lacquer in Girls Will Be Girls
This polish is a shimmering pink with peach iridescence. If a ballerina girl was granted a wish to have her own kingdom, this is the colour she would want everything to be — her castle, her horse & of course, her bed. Put on a couple of coats of this whenever you feel the need to retreat to your younger self.

Nail lacquer in Boom!
Boom! is the colour of an umeboshi plum. It’s a dark maroon with blue notes & a subtle sparkle. It’s the sort of colour that you might wear while you write your first screenplay, or when you perform live with your band in a dive bar. Underground & urban but sexy at the same time.

Fafi make-up bag
Well, it’s hard to write about a make-up bag! Suffice to say that the Fafi make-up bag I received is well-made & holds a lot of stuff. Not quite everything I was sent, but… almost!

There were also some things I didn’t receive. If you own any of these products, I’d love to hear what you think of them! Lustre lipstick in Utterly Frivolous, Fafi Eyes 2 & iridescent pressed power in Sassed-up & Verve-acious.

I’d like to say an enormous thank you to MAC Cosmetics for being so generous & also for making such continuously outstanding products. I have yet to buy a MAC product that doesn’t do what it says it will — & I don’t know if I can say as much for any other brand.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Neogoth

[ 17 February 2008, 19:09 ]

It seems ironic that a little over a year after I wrote my first ever article — Fashion Help For Recovering Goths — I’m now writing about goth as a high fashion trend. But before you go thinking I’m just switching my position willy-nilly, I should explain that there is a marked difference between that piece & this one. FHFRG was about changing old, staid habits & embracing a new you, while neogoth is about adopting a dark aesthetic but making it stylish & sophisticated. So you see, they’re both about positive change — just in different ways.

So, what’s neogoth about, anyway? First of all, it has nothing to do with The Matrix — perish the thought! Nor does it have anything to do with bright, neon colours. ‘Neo’ is meant here to mean recent or new. Combine that with ‘goth’ & you get a fresh, modern version of the goth aesthetic. & not a moment too soon!

I found out about neogoth recently by having a dig around on the Fashion Spot (best fashion forums ever). Someone started a thread about neogoth in 2005, but the look seems to have really exploded & started blossoming recently. My guess is that the trend-setters are feeling a bit fed up with pastels & fluoro colours, & are rebelling. The thread is fabulous eye candy, lots of editorial shots & runway ensembles, but I thought a DIY guide might be useful.

While it would be easy to just throw on a whole lot of black & feel like that was enough, that’s not quite it. The whole idea of neogoth is that it is a more grown-up, sophisticated look. All the usual components of the goth look — dyed black hair, facial piercings, corsets, striped stockings & combat boots — aren’t going to help you out if you want to dabble in this aesthetic.

Neogoth is about texture. Wool, silk, lace & leather. Wood, plastic & lacquer. Without texture there is no neogoth — just someone wearing lots of darkly-hued clothing. Some people wear black to hide themselves away, minimise themselves, appear invisible. Neogoth is about doing the opposite: making a statement, dressing it up, putting in an effort & looking fabulous.

I really feel that neogoth isn’t just about wearing black. You can go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum & wear all white & still rock the look. To me, it is mostly about attitude — & attitude can be conveyed in the smallest ways. An accessory, a style of make-up or even a hairstyle can say more about you, your mood or your aesthetic than an entire ‘neogoth-themed’ outfit from the latest collections.

Colleen of Panic Industry coined the phrase “poisoned femininity“ to describe a lot of what she sees on the catwalk at the moment, & I think that is worth incorporating into the whole neogoth thing. It’s not just clothing, it’s about feelings & mood. It’s about playing up the elements of mystery, drama & intrigue. It’s about being delicate with a dark edge, being unexpected & a little sick around the edges. Kind of like that broken dolly thing from the 90’s, just more grown-up.

I know that the word ‘goth’ throws people sometimes, so to be clear: you don’t have to dress like you’re on your way to a Renaissance Fair! Nor is there any need to get all Trenchcoat Mafia on it! Neogoth should be über-modern. Skyscraper shoes, closely-tailored garments, futuristic sunglasses — architecture with clothing.

Think sharply-cut blazers, patterned stockings, patent leather belts around the waist, scarves, unconventional hair & layers. Think platform shoes, luxurious clutches & epic nailpolish.

Here are some outfits I put together using Polyvore which help illustrate my point!

For vampy man-catching drinks: Giles Kruger Razor dress, Tarina Tarantino earrings, Alexander McQueen silk chiffon skull scarf, Alexander McQueen skull clasp clutch & Christian Louboutin Architek leather slingbacks.

For fabulous business lunches: Bodyamr Balla mini dress, Lanvin necklace, Phillippe Audibert opal bracelet, a bag & Balenciaga pull-on cowboy boots.

For knock-‘em-dead moments: Jovovich-Hawk Sunny lace detail dress, Lacoste backpack, Lanvin oxford pumps, assorted bangles.

For manga moments: Hamish Morrow hooded jersey dress, Tarina Tarantino necklace, Elisa Atheniense bag, Miu Miu leather biker boots.

For relaxed Fridays at the office: Anna Sui floral print tunic, Sonia Rykiel sunglasses, Topshop skinny jeans, Anya Hindmarch Shirley patent tote & Alexander McQueen striped leather pumps.

For vampire-slaying in small, dusty towns: Marchesa strapless embroidered dress, Celine skinny silk chiffon scarf, locket necklace, rosary, Miss Selfridge lace stockings, Urban Outfitters cowboy boots, OPI nailpolish & assorted bangles.

My general consensus is that neogoth is a fantastic new style for people who want to do something different, as well as for people for whom black is like comfort food. Just remember to push it a bit, & you’ll be right as rain.

Extra For Experts:
Looking to the 1980s – darkly: Giles Deacon, Gareth Pugh and Roksanda Ilincic by Suzy Menkes of the International Herald Tribune.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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My Lelo Lily

[ 12 February 2008, 02:07 ]

The other day, one of my wishes came true: I was the incredibly fortunate recipient of a Lelo Lily. I recently made the acquaintance of Liz from Madame Rouge, & she asked if I’d like anything from her shop. Since I have had my eye on the Lelo Lily for a while, I mentioned it, & within two days, it had arrived at my door. The glee was overwhelming; I couldn’t believe I owned something so fabulous!

I really think that if you’re a woman over the age of 18 & you’ve never been into a dark sex shop, browsed an upscale erotic boutique or looked at toys online, you are missing out! Pleasure objects are a staple of every stylish girl’s bedroom, & there is a huge variety available for all tastes, budgets & inclinations.

However, having said this, there is one thing upon which is generally agreed: Lelo of Sweden make truly top-shelf, fabulous, unsurpassed toys. In fact, Lelo are such an elegant company that they call their products “luxury erotic lifestyle objects”. I tend to think of them more as beautiful pleasure artifacts.

So, what is the Lelo Lily? It’s a delicate, light & deliciously-shaped device that fits easily in the palm of your hand. They named it Lily because it is the shape of curved petal (all together now: “Awwww!”). While it looks like it could exist quite happily in a Takashi Murakami exhibition, thankfully there is more to the Lily than just appearances. Its silky exterior hides a powerful — & yet somehow, whisper-quiet — motor, as well as beautiful functionality & up to 7 hours of continuous playtime! Who says you can’t mix style & substance?

The Lily, Nea & Yva are all the same brilliant design, just with different finishes (& consequently, price-points). The Nea (US$110) feels like porcelain, the Lily (US$140) is silky-smooth & the Yva (US$1600)... well, the Yva is hand-crafted from either stainless steel or 18K gold plate. You can choose your own level of luxury!

The packaging is sublime, too. I know it sounds weird to say that, but I get a huge kick out of really good packaging. The packaging of the Lelo Lily is on par with any packaging by Apple — beautifully-made boxes, perfect little plastic containers & clear slip-covers. As soon as you see the box, you know, without a doubt, that there is going to be something magnificent inside.

While the Lily might look like a pansy, it’s anything but. With vibrations ranging from a subtle fizz to a tumultuous tickle, it’s sure to thrill even the most exacting vixen. It’s also multi-use. While you can use it alone (swaddled in Egyptian cotton sheets, no doubt!), the design is such that you can easily slip it between you & your partner for hands-free orgasms during intercourse. BRAVO! Applause! Thunderous roar from the congregation!

Lelo have really thought about the design of this product. For example, you can easily ‘lock’ the Lily so that you won’t have one of these moments! You can control the level of vibration by using one of two little square buttons — they are perfectly positioned for your thumb & light up when touched. There are many different levels of intensity, which is fantastic. So often it’s either all or nothing! The Lily charges easily & quickly, too — from whoah to go in 2 hours. & it comes with a multi-purpose power point, with three different plugs so that you can use it anywhere you travel. The perfect item for the jetsetting fashionista, n’est-ce pas?

The Lily even has a little home. In the box, you’ll find a black satin bag for safe-keeping — this will help protect it from dust & any other toys you might have. (Sometimes the colouring on cheap latex or rubber can bleed — & marring the surface of a Lily would be pure sacrilege!)

At US$140, the Lily is definitely a high-end treat for the working girl. But when you think about what we spend on shoes, make-up & haircuts, it makes sense to spend a little money on private pleasure too!

Carrie: I just can’t believe she opened your goodie drawer. I mean, everybody knows the nightstand is private.
Charlotte: What do you have in there?
Miranda: You know, the usual. Condoms, vibrator.
Carrie: Massage oil, cigarettes.
Samantha: Nipple clamps.
Carrie: Really?
Samantha: Not for me; for them!
Charlotte: That’s freakish.
Miranda: What’s in your goodie drawer? Robert’s Rules of Order?
Charlotte: I don’t have a goodie drawer.
Carrie: Oh, everybody has a goodie drawer.
Samantha: I have a goodie closet!

When it comes to luxury products, it’s all the little details that make the difference. Take the last page of the Lily manual, for example. It says,

“The clitoris is the only feature of the human anatomy whose sole function is to convey messages of sensual pleasure. Use it wisely, often & with care.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Geek Chic

[ 10 February 2008, 21:21 ]

Now so ubiquitous that there is a Wikipedia entry for it, Geek Chic is currently one of the most popular looks around. It’s showing up on catwalks across the world, & even closer to home — the ‘geek chic’ prom outfit I put together was by far the one that resonated with people most!

If you want to give geek chic a go yourself, there are a few elements that can be incorporated.

Glasses
You can’t do geek chic if you’re not wearing a pair of glasses! I’m sorry, but it’s true. You don’t actually need to be short- or long-sighted however, which is good news. If you’re wondering where to get glasses, it’s actually pretty easy. All glasses in optometry shops come with plain glass lenses — sometimes all you need to do is peel off a sticker. You can find amazing glasses in vintage & op shops, & of course there are bargains galore to be found online. 39 Dollar Glasses is a favourite of many.

Allusions to geeky interests
This is where you get to be a bit sneaky. It’s easy to wear a t-shirt that says ‘Nintendo’, but it’s much cooler to wear something that only die-hard fans will recognise. Get creative, make your own accessories — that’s where those NES controller belt buckles came from originally, some dude in his bedroom! What do you love that’s geeky? Calculators? Knitting? Tea parties with your Grandma? How about wearing a blinged-up calculator, or making a brooch out of doll-sized knitting needles? Having said that, sometimes geeky t-shirts are really awesome — Viva la Relativity! from ThinkGeek is too cool not to buy.

Reappropriated slightly naff items
Start reclaiming things that you used to get shoved in your locker for wearing! This can be difficult, but thankfully the fashion industry is on this in a big way, giving us all a helping hand. Big bobbly cardigans, Oxfords, wool stockings & blazers are all back with a vengeance. Bonus points if you actually buy things from a school shop!

Here are some ideas for putting together your own geek look.

Sleek geek: Burberry cable knit cardigan; 3.1 Phillip Lim Exclusive Scout dress; Celine leather riding boots; striped socks; Malene Birger Gala headband; Linda Farrow Vintage for Luella glasses; robot earrings; Eprom necklace; MIDI cuff; watch by Tokyoflash.

Buffy geek: Caffeine molecule necklace; beanie; Buffy t-shirt; Pringle of Scotland Satin pouf shorts; black bolero jacket; Tokidoki for Lesportsac backpack; Demonia boots.

Potter geek: Gryffindor hoodie; Princess tulle skirt; Retrospecs glasses; Tarina Tarantino ring; magic wand; Hello Kitty backpack; New Rock boots.

Accessories: Retrospecs glasses; Robot Lover necklace; Luella bag; Melissa jelly sandals; Batman Converse; Cat’s Eye glasses; Lanvin Oxfords; Tokyoflash watch.

Extra For Experts:
Agathe shows how it’s done.
Designboom have very rad recyled cassette wallets!
Fashion Week for the Fashionably Challenged — oh, so funny. Black is the new modem minimalism art era for fashion. Black says “I don’t give a **** you work it out”.
How To Wear Geek Chic Style (for girls) from Wikihow.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Rock The Prom!

[ 5 February 2008, 17:31 ]

For most people, the prom is still a little way off — & yet at the moment, it’s the hottest issue in my inbox! Girls around the globe are fuh-reakin’ out, lost in a sea of dresses, stumped by what to wear & how to look different, original & cute without spending a fortune or imitating someone else.

I think that to some girls, a prom is like a miniature version of a wedding — to be planned in intense detail & carried off with military precision. That’s okay! I understand! I am a Virgo myself; I am well acquainted with the joy of organisation. So I am here to help!

Dresses

While you could go to a department store & pick a dress off the rack, that’s probably what every other girl in town will be doing, too. It’s okay to follow the herd, but not on a night that is important to you — or on a night that has so much photographic evidence! You want to look ravishing, mysterious, glamorous & stylish, & it is hard to feel like that when the girl you really dislike turns up in the same gown.

I strongly advise buying your dress somewhere else. Try the tiny boutique of a local independent designer, go vintage shopping, peruse your very stylish friend’s wardrobe, start looking at patterns or browsing online for the dress of your dreams. You don’t have to buy off the rack in your town — in fact, you don’t have to buy at all if you have well-dressed friends! Be open to other options, because it will help you stand out on the night.

Have a browse around online to see what you like. Some of the best vintage dresses can be found at Vintageous, Blue Velvet, Trashy Diva & Ballyhoo, & there’s always Ebay.

If you don’t like dresses, never fear! Androgyny is in & it’s hot. Have a read of Tomboy Boot Camp & then scroll down this page for more ideas!

Make-up

A lot of girls go to a make-up counter to have their face done for the big day — in fact, in Australia & New Zealand I would say that’s the rule, rather than the exception. That’s great if you’re not wonderful with make-up, but if you have a very definite “look”, you might want to save the cash & do your make-up at home. A couple of my goth friends refuse to have anyone touch their faces because they can never find anyone who does their make-up as they like it, & they are not alone!

If you’re paying someone to do your make-up for the big night, I would recommend doing a trial run first. Some people have strange ideas about what looks good, & you don’t want to be frantically rubbing your make-up off in the limousine!

Remember that you can get anything you want. If you always wear pale pink lip-gloss with brown eye-liner, don’t be afraid to try something new! Maybe electric blue eye-liner will look amazing on you. Let the make-up artist play around with things & be open to their suggestions, because until something is on you, it’s very hard to know whether it will good or not. When I worked at Lush, we were friends with the girls at the MAC counter, so when we had a break we’d go to their shop & they would make us over. I remember one girl gave me yellow eye-shadow that faded into this brilliant parrot green colour — I thought it would look hideous but actually, it was totally incredible. So take a chance!

Feel free to take in pictures & photographs that show what colour your dress is & demonstrate the sort of make-up you want — if you do, it will make the artist’s job much easier. Also: be friendly! You will get better service & a more fabulous end result.

Hair

Just because a prim up-do is the “done thing”, that doesn’t mean you have to have one. You could have your hair down, curled, teased, in a beehive, dusted with talcum powder, under a tiara, or even wear a wig! If you’re feeling daring, you could even colour your hair. If your hair is short & you feel left out, don’t! Read Making Short Hair More Interesting & rejoice!

Remember…

The prom is kind of a ridiculous tradition but it can be a lot of fun if you embrace it. Even if you loathe everyone you go to school with, it’s still great to dress up & see everyone else dolled up. People seem to act differently when they’re dressed up for a formal occasion — almost like adults, sometimes! You might even find yourself talking to (& making peace with) someone who was your arch-nemesis all year, so if you’ve sworn off your prom, give it a re-think.

On the other hand, just because it’s the prom, that doesn’t mean you should feel like you have to transform into some weird alien version of you for the night! Leave that Barbie girl look to those spray-tan-crazy girls who never answer questions in class. Don’t be afraid to inject a little personality into your outfit — or even allow your outfit to express who you are. If you’re a gamer, embrace it! Wear a brooch of the Nintendo logo on your dress or don initial rings that spell out ‘GAME OVER’. If you’re obsessed with France, dress in red white & blue & add a beret. (You could even draw a little moustache on the side of your finger & hold it up to your lip & laugh at people with a fake French accent!) If you’re a photographer, wear your camera like a necklace, & if you’re a ballerina, wear ballet shoes. You get the picture.

The accessories make it. Even if you do end up buying something that someone else wears, if you accessorise it properly, you won’t look similar at all. Think hats, stockings, bags, bracelets, rings, chokers, necklaces, glitter, crystals, feathers, tiaras, faux fur — & take it from there.

Ideas

Obviously the idea is not to go out & buy these outfits as they are (though if you can afford a pair of Louboutins to wear to your prom then you’re doing pretty well)! Hopefully you will be able to use them as a jumping-off point; something to inspire you. Maybe you’ll look at one of these dresses & love it but accessorise it differently, or perhaps a colour scheme will appeal to you. I hope it helps!

For the glamorous alternative girl: Todd Lynn Nachtotter leather jacket; vintage 1950’s strapless dress; gold Rolex; CC Skye bracelet; Alexander McQueen clutch; Jimmy Choo heels; initial rings from Girlprops.

For the girl who thinks pink: Fendi Candy striped silk dress; Tarina Tarantino necklace; Alexander McQueen clutch; pink bangles; Christian Louboutin glitter patent slingbacks.

For the geeky girl: Robot charm necklace; JC Penney dress; retro glasses; Fred Flare nerd/dork ring set; Cat5 bracelet; Balenciaga fingerless gloves; gold Kitson sandals.

For the tomboy with taste: 3.1 Phillip Lim tuxedo jacket; Blondie t-shirt; Todd Lynn Bill Carson bow tie; Topshop cropped jeans; Christian Louboutin Ariella studded boots; Moschino handbag.

Oh, & if you need extra inspiration… Betsey Johnson‘s Spring 2008 collection is prom-tastic!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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The Ultimate Crush Decoder Ring!

[ 4 February 2008, 12:17 ]

I get emails all the time from people who are in the grips of a major crush. The kind of crush that lives up to its name — the sort that squeezes your insides, makes you hyperventilate & always makes you feel like you’re not being very impressive at all. I realised I hadn’t written an article on how to stop a crush from becoming a crash, or how to salvage the wreckage if it does, & with Valentine’s Day coming up, it seemed appropriate! So, here it is — your crush decoder!

Problem: I don’t know how to talk to _______, & oh my god he/she is the cutest thing EVER!

Solution: Talking to people is quite easy but somehow, when we meet the person of our dreams, it’s like our mother tongue is Dork & our second language is Nerd. It can lead to very embarrassing moments. I once had a crush on a comedian that was so all-consuming that whenever we spent time together, I could barely even speak. Needless to say, it didn’t go far.

The trick to talking to people you are nervous about or don’t know is to find some common ground & then start asking questions. Don’t be all Spanish inquisition, & don’t give them the third degree either, just keep it relaxed. The trick with asking people questions is that it gives you more time to admire their mouth while they’re talking. Um, I mean, it gives you a break & allows you to think of something else to ask them! Plus, people loooove to talk about themselves — ask anyone.

The subject matter of the conversation is going to differ depending on the situation. Do you go to school together or work together? That can make life easier — you can talk about classes, teachers, managers, assignments, the people around you. If the object of your affections is a little more random, it can be a little trickier but is not impossible by any stretch of the imagination. If, for example, they work in a shop, ask them to help you find something, & while they do, just start a conversation. You know, usual small-talk stuff — how long have they worked there, do they like it, what are their dreams for the future, etc. If you go to the same cafe, maybe talk to them while you queue up, or ask if they’d like to sit with you. It seems scary but hey — he who dares wins (or something). You have to make the leap of confidence, otherwise you’ll never know!

I would also encourage you to “be yourself”. I know that sometimes when people tell you that it sends you into a blind panic, because all you can think of is your bad passport photo & recent exam scores, but what I really mean is — don’t try to be anyone else. Unless you are comfortable playing the sexy vixen or the suave gentleman, don’t. Just be you — your friendly, off-beat, cheeky self.

Problem: How can I ask _______ out on a date? But not, y’know, a real date, just an excuse to spend some time together.

Solution: This is really a continuation of the question above. So, strike up a conversation, & after you’ve established some rapport, ask if they want to have lunch/a coffee/a drink sometime. Swap numbers. Remember to call. Golden.

Problem: My crush used to act like he/she reciprocated my feelings but now he/she is acting all weird & won’t talk to me!

Solution: First rule of relationships & love: people are weird. Some people seem to change their feelings on a dime & all of a sudden start acting as if you are Queen (or King) of the Lepers. It hurts, of course. Your thoughts start to race. ‘What did I do wrong? What did I say?!? Did I breathe tuna sandwiches on them?!? Did I just morph into a hideous mud-monster?!?’ You know how it goes.

Talk to them about it. Say, “Hey. Things used to be cool between us but now you’re giving me wedgies & torturing my goldfish. What’s going on?” Then they will either tell you (“I just can’t handle your Spice Girls obsession — sorry”) or not (”...”). If they tell you, you can either try to remedy it or tell them to take a flying leap. Spice Girls ‘obsession’ — piffle! & if they don’t tell you or are otherwise difficult, believe me, it is their loss & not yours. Some people are just a bit stinky. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. You can’t crawl inside anyone’s head or make them change their mind, so don’t waste your energy. Stay away from them & find something else to keep you busy for the next little while.

Problem: _____ is obviously my dream lover but they have a boy/girlfriend already. How do I get rid of them?

Solution: Whoah there, soldier! While your dream lover’s lover is obviously a pesky obstacle, dabbling in home-wreckery is not your best laid plan. There are a few reasons for this, like for example, if your dream lover is susceptible to some new person coming along (you), who’s to say that that won’t happen to you six months down the track? But the real reason for not going there is that it will become an ugly mess & if you respect your dream lover — I mean, truly respect them & want what is best for them — you should also respect the relationship they’re in.

Not all relationships are perfect & it is common for one half of the couple to have a whinge from time to time about how so&so doesn’t pick up his socks from the floor or how little miss never does the dishes. However, you’ll be better off if you don’t read into that as some kind of false clue that they want out of the relationship & they consider you their life-raft. They are probably just venting. If you feel evil hooks growing over your hands that give you the urge to tear their relationship asunder & run away to a cave with your dream lover, please, do yourself a favour & back away. This is not a nice side of you!

Problem: My dream lover says he/she wants to leave his/her current relationship & be with me! The delight is palpable! But… I don’t know. Something feels wrong.

Solution: In this scenario, there are a few very probable outcomes.

Number one: The scorned ex-lover will hate you & so will all their friends, co-workers, hairdressers, etc. This can make life difficult if you live in a small town & don’t fancy cutting your hair yourself.

Number two: Since your dream lover will be jumping from one relationship to the next, it will be complicated. I am a firm believer that everyone needs a break between relationships. It’s just a good thing to do — it helps you sort out the emotional bracken, allows you to re-establish who you are & what you want, & gives you a breather. I think being alone is really good for people, since being in a relationship it’s all too easy to be co-dependent & never really learn how strong or capable you are. The other risk when you jump from one relationship to the next is that you get transference of emotion — that’s when your emotions for the last person swap over to the new person. While it might be nice to be instantly in love, it’s not real & it causes problems later when the bliss wears off & you both realise that the person you’re with is not who you expected.

If your dream lover really does want to leave his or her current lover, then of course that’s their choice & their life. But if you actually want things to work out between the two of you long-term, let them know that you would like there to be a significant (i.e., at least a couple of months) break between the ex & you. Explain why & see how they react. Hopefully if they have a brain & some emotional stability they will be cool with this. On the other hand, some people, when you tell them this, will decide you’re too much trouble & not leave their partner. While this sucks at the time, you will look back on it in a few months & be so very grateful. Trust me!

Problem: My dream lover’s lover is so AWFUL! I hate him/her! If only they would go away, my dream lover would be so much happier & capable of so much more! I don’t understand why they don’t just leave!

Solution: People’s problems are their own. Let it go. Move on.

Problem: I think I’m in love with my best friend. HELP!

Solution: Well, this is really up to you. I encourage taking the plunge & telling the truth, something like, “Max, we have been best friends for a long time but things are changing & well, do you mind if I kiss you?” Sure, it might destroy the friendship. But it could also be the best relationship of your life. I think it’s worth the chance.

Problem: I’ve never had a boy/girlfriend before & I don’t know how to kiss!

Solution: You need to enrol in Gala’s Kissing Boot-Camp, toute de suite!

Problem: Where can I take my crush for a cool, interesting date?

Solution: If I was feeling exceptionally twee, I’d say something like “It doesn’t matter where you go if the company’s good”. Which is true, but honestly, that’s not really going to cut it. For a first date, you want to wow them by taking them somewhere spectacular, like talking a stroll along the Nile or going on a week-long safari. Unfortunately, whisking your new potential lover off to see one of the wonders of the world is probably going to have to wait until you are a big-shot entrepreneur, so here are some other ideas.

Go to an amusement park. Eat burritos in the botanical gardens. Hire a canoe. Go out stencilling at night. Attend an art show opening. Go thrift-shopping. Get photobooth pictures. Take circus lessons together. Cook for each other. Browse a used bookstore. Go to the beach. Do a collaborative painting. Dress up. Stage a treasure hunt. Go to the markets. Find the biggest waterslide you can. Bake cupcakes. Explore abandoned places. Go to an audience participation version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Sneak into a hotel pool. Play tennis. Pick out plants for each other. Take a yoga class. Ride your bikes somewhere. Have a picnic. Build a fort. Talk. Kiss. Snuggle.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Top 5 Fictional Female Style Icons

[ 29 January 2008, 14:43 ]

Television & movies are overrun with underdressed & badly-styled characters. But what about when the major studios get it right? This is my little homage to who I think are the 5 most stylish female characters.

5. Jenny Schecter

“Often, what you see with Jenny is not pretty. She’s in love with two people at the same time. She’s one of those people who will just grab experiences because of the holes inside her, and with that, she will leave the casualties in the wake behind her.”

Jenny Schecter is played by Mia Kirshner on The L Word, a television series that revolves around the lifes of a group of lesbian & bisexual women living in Los Angeles. While the character of Jenny was voted “Most Hated” on the show, you can’t deny that the girl can dress. With a penchant for mod dresses, vintage fur coats & sparkly accessories, she plays the part of the tortured artist beautifully.

What she wears:
Ripped black stockings, denim miniskirts & low-cut Converse. A messy bun with sparkly diamanté stud earrings & a camel-coloured trench, worn with knee-high brown boots. Vintage dresses & a super-short haircut. A loose white t-shirt with braces.

What we can learn from Jenny’s style:
Jenny isn’t afraid to portray different sides of her personality through what she wears. As a writer, she is always playing with characters & expression, & this continues through to her wardrobe. Jenny shows us that you don’t have to stick to one style, you can feel free to experiment & be different people if you want to. Some days you might want to be slick, while others you want to be feminine or just plain decadent — & that’s okay. In fact, it’s to be encouraged. Keep ‘em guessing!

4. June Miller

“I’ve done the vilest things… the foulest things. But I’ve done them… superbly.”

While June is not entirely fictional, what I’m actually referring to is her part as played by Uma Thurman in the vastly underrated film Henry & June — an adaptation of the book of same name by Anais Nin. June was married to Henry Miller, but also involved in lesbian relationships with artist Jean Kronski & later, Anais Nin (who had an affair with Henry too).

Uma’s character was dressed by Yvonne Sassinot de Nesle, & in the film, it’s not so much what she wears but how she wears it that really makes her come alive. Her clothing is an exquisite extension of her personality; it serves to make her a richer & more dynamic character. Her trappings are like a marinade that help to bring out her subtle flavours.

What she wears:
Long skirts, dishevelled stockings, a loose bun. A ballerina-wrap cardigan, red nails & kohl around the eyes. Fingerwaves, silver bracelets, a black velvet cloak. A silk slip. Lace-up Oxfords & a scarf on her head. Cigarettes & sheets.

What we can learn from June’s style:
Your clothing can help cultivate a mood — so don’t be afraid to be dramatic! Dress to suit your personality: pull the best parts of yourself out & extend them through coats, skirts & accessories. It is much more mysterious to cover up than to show it all off. Integrate your clothing into your lifestyle — use it to seduce or confuse or bewilder people. Be unashamedly yourself.

3. Cher Horowitz

“Do you know what time it is?!”
“A watch doesn’t really go with this outfit, Daddy!”

Cher Horowitz was played by Alicia Silverstone in what is arguably the best teen movie of all time: Clueless. Written by Amy Heckerling, it follows Cher’s transformation from a shallow & selfish girl into one who is, well, a little more mature & well-rounded. Really though, the reason people love Clueless is that the characters are so easy to relate to, the lines are really snappy & it is pretty much the ultimate feel-good movie.

Plus, I have eternal love for anyone who says something like this…

“So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation & all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed & put on some baggy pants & take their greasy hair — eww — & cover it up with a backwards cap & like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so!”

What she wears:
Cher is a teenager, & she dresses accordingly. She loves miniskirts & short dresses, knee-high socks, cute hats & bags that match her ensemble. Cher is an accessory maniac & thinks way outside the box — in one scene she tote a marabou-topped pen which goes perfectly with what she’s wearing. In another, she snaps yellow bubble gum, which is the exact shade of the rest of her clothing. She doesn’t do “casual” & always looks immaculate.

What we can learn from Cher’s style:
Play with proportion — knee socks worn with miniskirts & long shirts looks brilliant & attracts the eye. Don’t be afraid to match; it’s easy & looks fantastic. (I think all that “don’t be too matchy-matchy” hype has really skewed & confused people’s style.) Healthy hair is one of the best accessories, & faux fur never goes out of style. Though I would stop at matching my bubble gum to my outfit…

2. Blair Waldorf

Serena: “How’s your mom doing with the divorce?”
Blair: “Great. So my dad left her for another man… she lost fifteen pounds & got an eye-lift. It’s been good for her.”

Portrayed by Leighton Meester in the show Gossip Girl, Blair is the ultimate preppy icon. While outward appearances secure her place as an upper-class darling, behind that she rules her fellow classmates with an iron fist. She is a girl that you just don’t cross, because she has the power & ability to stomp you into oblivion. She is also painfully well-dressed.

What she wears:
Blair maintains her conservative persona by not letting a lot of skin show — except for when she’s performing a striptease, of course. I think I am yet to see Blair in trousers — she only ever wears skirt or dresses. She is a fan of high-necked garments, elegant detailing, cherry red lips & high heels. She is the Cher Horowitz of the new generation: she loves to match, wear new trends (turban, anyone?) & rock perfection like no other.

What we can learn from Blair’s style:
Dressing in a preppy, sophisticated way doesn’t have to be boring. Use unexpected pops of colour, unusual textures & fabulous accessories to freshen your ensemble. Headbands are always appropriate, & nude lips are sinful. Wear fantastic nightwear. Don’t dress to be sexy, dress to be stylish.

1. Carrie Bradshaw

“Here. Swear. Swear on Chanel.”

Carrie is the quintessential style icon for anyone who refuses to be pigeon-holed into a “look”. Her style is ever-changing, evolving, & she expresses herself through what she wears. While some of her looks could be labelled feminine, retro, sleek or street chic, she defies categorisation. A true fashion lover, she is known for saying “shopping is my cardio” & spending $40,000 on shoes.

She was dressed by Patricia Field & Rebecca Weinberg in what I think was one of the great feats of styling. Sex & The City was the kind of show that people would watch just for the clothes, even if they disliked the characters. While a lot of what Carrie wore was way out there, I also like to think that she inspired a new group of women to start dressing up more, & to have fun with their clothes — not to view them as just a necessary evil.

What she wears:
I think “what doesn’t she wear?” is perhaps a better question! She rocks blonde & brunette, with her hair worn wavy, straight, in twin buns or tucked under a hat. She loves high heels, vintage shopping & Oscar de la Renta. She teams a Birkin with a waistcoat, purple with grey & a pop of lime green, high heels with tracksuit pants, a basketball singlet with a straw fedora. She wears a black pleather one-shouldered dress with a huge white flower pinned to it. She dons a Halston trenchcoat with great Jackie O sunglasses. She rocks an oversized white men’s business shirt & belts it around the middle. She wears knee-high argyle socks & high heels. In Los Angeles, she even wears two different coloured shoes…

What we can learn from Carrie’s style:
There are no mistakes, only learning opportunities. As we change, we should allow our wardrobes to evolve with the same ease & grace that we allow ourselves. Keep everything that fits & flatters you, because you’ll never know when you might find something that goes with it perfectly. Dress appropriately but do it with a point of difference. Don’t be afraid of hats, huge earrings, strange bags or vintage shopping — all it takes is a little confidence.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Tags: aesthetic, inspiration, madame
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Athletic Aesthetics

[ 13 January 2008, 14:33 ]

“I have a very big dilemma. I basically live at the gym, I work there, take/teach classes there, and work out there (duh!). I desperately need your advice. I work out, take or teach a class everyday and also work in the nursery there and come in contact with a lot of the gym clientèle. I need help. I need wardrobe appropriate items that i can wear in daycare and then go straight to teaching my classes or working out. Is there any advice you give me? I fear if you can not help me no one can.”

Of course I can help you! I think the thing with athletic wear is that it’s very easy to throw on trackpants & a baggy t-shirt & feel like that’s enough. However, if you’re dealing with customers or teaching classes, you need to step it up a little bit. The key is to look for athletic pieces that can be interpreted as “normal” clothing, & then dress it up or down as appropriate.

While you might need to take a change of shoes or remove some accessories, these outfits should take you easily from clients to calf stretches!

Abercrombie polo shirt; Delia*s heart belt; Le Coq Sportif vintage tennis skirt; Puma visor; blue bangles; blue crocodile bag; Rykiel Homme striped socks; Adidas by Stella McCartney silver sneakers.

Miu Miu cracked leather headband; Adidas dress; Gargyle gold leather slip-ons.

Adidas t-shirt; Adidas by Stella McCartney tennis skirt; Wheels & Dollbaby pink cardigan; Lululemon jive legwarmers; Converse sequinned Chuck Taylors.

Topshop black satin turban; T Luxury striped tunic; silver bracelets; Adidas by Stella McCartney tennis dress; Miss Selfridge black leggings; Fossil watch; Dorothy Perkins bag; Repetto Guillemettes.

...& a “practical” outfit for good measure. Lululemon t-shirt; Lululemon shawl skirt; Lululemon cropped pants; Nike sneakers.

Extra For Experts:
k-Bee leotards are amazing. Holographic! Glitter! Rhinestones! Hell yes!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Tags: advice, consumption, how to, madame
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Fashion & Style Predictions: 2008

[ 2 January 2008, 17:22 ]

The Age, a Melbourne newspaper, recently published their fashion predictions for 2008. Their list of “must haves” are in bold, & my thoughts, suggestions & tips are underneath.

Body con
By this, they mean “body contouring garments” — anything which clings tightly to the body or is form-fitting. Of course, the very notion of this sends women across the world into a panic, & rightly so. Very few people can make it work. It’s almost enough to make you put down the truffles & run screaming to the gym. To slither with dignity into the body con trend, I recommend you only wear one piece of close-fitting clothing at a time. If you have a shapely booty, perhaps wear a body con skirt, while if you have arms, a bust & abs to kill for, a slender cut shirt or top is probably your best bet. I also heartily recommend buying yourself at least one piece of shaper underwear. It’s the secret of models & well-dressed fashionistas everywhere.

The waist
Yes, this is from last season. Regardless, the waist is here to stay. If you don’t have a belt that showcases your waist at its best, then it’s time to get one. If belts don’t turn your crank, you can always improvise with a fabric belt, a colourful obi or even a man’s tie. This is all great news for womanly figures & hourglass shapes, & almost… maybe… possibly… summons a shift away from the boyish, androgynous figures women have been starving themselves to achieve for years! Fantastic!

Purple
The colour of royalty, homosexuality & Prince is making a comeback in a major way. It’s been blasted all over the catwalks, from Lanvin to Comme des Garcon & all the way to Pucci, in every hue imaginable: violent violet, lascivious lavender, punchy plum & apoplectic amethyst. If the idea of head to toe purple makes you feel a bit batty — though it can be done to fabulous effect — snap up accessories in the aristocratic hue & wear them with neutrals, reds, yellows or greens.

Rockabilly
Full skirts, leather jackets & lots of plaid are on the cards, too — but as with any other defined style of dress, select a couple of elements only to avoid looking too “costumey”. Since I know that we all secretly wish to be one of the Pink Ladies (or the T-Birds), I suggest watching Grease for a splash of inspiration — & some ideas on what not to do.

The blazer & tuxedo jacket
Balenciaga brought this back recently & it’s a beautiful thing — especially worn with a colourful scarf tucked in under the front. The tuxedo jacket is more sleek than the blazer, & I’ve seen gorgeous versions in lots of stores around here, especially MNG (aka Mango). Both jackets are fantastically versatile & will make an amazing addition to your wardrobe. I recommend a single-button tuxedo jacket for simplicity’s sake, & for the daring & gender-bending, it is a major component of “Le Smoking“, seen below in this iconic photograph by Helmut Newton.

Hippie prints & plaids
I really blame Ms Rachel Zoe for this one — as well as the maxi-dress. Not that it’s a bad thing, more that her influence is super-obvious! She is a major fan of long, 70’s-inspired dresses with crazy prints & splashes of colour. The Age advises wearing these all in a huge orgy of colour & pattern madness, but I don’t. It’s really hard to do with panache. I think the best way to make it work is get your hands on a great sleeveless maxi-dress that shows your neck & shoulders to maximum effect. Pair with simple metallic or jewelled sandals, bunches of bracelets, big sunglasses & a headscarf for super casual chic.

Grey Gardens chic
I wrote about this in June, & then started experimenting with the look on July 3rd last year! Stick with me, kid, I’ll show you right! If you haven’t seen Grey Gardens yet, hop to it! It’s one of the most intriguing, creepy & unsettling movies ever, as well as being incredibly aesthetically inspiring. A remake of it is due out this year, with Drew Barrymore starring as Little Edie — & you will need to have seen the original in order to appreciate the remake!

The waistcoat
Yet another trend kicked off by Kate Moss. Waistcoats & vests are ALL over the place at the moment, & a good wardrobe staple. They can be worn over tees & collared shirts, as well as adding an extra layer of interest to a dress or under a coat. Before you rush out & pick one up, however, I strongly suggest reviewing your current wardrobe & thinking about what you could wear it with. I find that a waistcoat works best with trousers, & if you don’t wear trousers often (like me), you might find your options are limited.

Other notable mentions

1940s fit
Thanks, Dita! Look for pronounced shoulders, nipped-in waists, pencil skirts & anything that makes you wiggle while you walk. Bonus points for seamed stockings.

Gladiator sandals
Thanks, Mary-Kate! Since they were seen on her little trotters, gladiator sandals have started appearing in all kinds of shoe shops for all sorts of prices. My money is on “passing fad”, so don’t splurge too much unless you really want to!

Lace-up heels & brogues
If you don’t know that lace-up heels (often called Oxfords) are “in” by now, you must have had your head under a rock… or been in hospital. That’s okay, though! Just to get you up to speed: lace-up heels are “in” & they’re totally sexy. Great worn with black stockings, skater skirts (another trend), pencil skirts, tailored pants & anything with a bit of volume. You can take your pick of styles, too, since every designer & his dog has jumped enthusiastically on the bandwagon. Here — have a look!

High-waisted skirts & trousers
This is a carry-over from 2007, but strangely enough, I’m not seeing a lot of it on the street. Waistlines have risen, definitely — there are far fewer butt-cracks on display these days (hooray!), but I have yet to see anyone in the street rocking an extremely high waist.

Berets, turbans & headscarves
The turban I bought from Sportsgirl some time last year was recently reduced to TWO DOLLARS, so it is safe to assume that in Australia at least, this is a trend for the daring & fashion editors only. I also haven’t seen anyone else in the street wearing a beret, turban or headscarf (except for my friend Nadia, who does berets rather well). It’s okay, but it does sort of make me feel like the only member of the turban fan club.

Flared jeans & trousers
Yay! Yay! Witness my delight! I love a good flared trouser, & believe me, when skinny jeans were the only thing on the denim radar, I couldn’t buy anything with even the slightest flare. Finally, finally the tide is turning & I will once more be able to buy jeans which flatter my figure! It’s a miracle! Celebrate good times, come on!

Shirt dresses
A shirt worn as a dress is pretty much what I wore all last summer. A long bedshirt will do, though they can be hard to get your hands on — a better option is a large man’s business shirt, belted at the waist & accessorised with high heels, a spray tan & relaxed hair.

Cleavage
Dear girls who often bare your décolletage to the world,
Please start applying sunscreen to your chest before going out. Otherwise it will end up wrinkly, & that is one area you do not want to age prematurely.
Love, Gala.

“Rock chic meets nu grave”
I swear to God I am not making this up. I don’t really know what this means. I think I am glad.

Tights
Rock the Edie Sedgwick look & wear black tights with everything. It adds instant polish & really helps to pull an outfit together.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Fetish Wear

[ 31 December 2007, 12:39 ]

“I was wondering if you would write an article on fetish dressing. I always find fetish dressing comes off looking extremely tacky and “goth” looking which of course is not the way I want to look. I’d like to be able to incorporate items such as platform “hooker heels”, bondage corsets, pvc, etc. into a more neutral or even girly wardrobe.”

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. There is such a proliferation of cheap “fetish” gaments available, & sometimes it can seem like that’s the only way to make it work. Thankfully, one need not resort to “adult shops” that smell funny & are filled with men in trenchcoats & not much else! You can buy beautiful high-end fetish items online from companies like Coco de Mer, JT’s Stockroom & Madame S.

A lot of designers have also embraced fetish style & made it their own, with high fashion touches — which is great news.

I have to say, though, that while “hooker heels” may look alluring, & cost so little that it’s hard to say no, usually as soon as you wear them for any length of time, you will understand the price, & be wailing “no” all the way down the street. There’s nothing wrong with experimenting with the cheap stuff at first, so you can see whether it’s a style that is going to suit you or not — but if you want to keep it up, I suggest upgrading to the good stuff soon after.

I tend to think that there are a few pieces of criteria to make fetish dressing stylish rather than tacky.

Buy good quality pieces
It’s very easy to go to an adult shop & stock up on PVC trousers, Frankenstein-esque boots & spiked collars — but the reason it doesn’t look good is because you’re basically wearing a whole lot of garbage. PVC doesn’t breathe & you will end up a sweaty mess. In order for it to look more stylish & less goth, you need to buy things which are well made & will last. They must be made with high quality fabrics. Keep your eyes open for handbags or shoes with a PVC finish, anything with an extraneous buckle, things which are spikey, slinky, or exceptionally well-tailored.

Restrain yourself (hee hee)
If you want to give the appearance of being a kinky mistress (or whatever), it’s better to be subtle. You don’t need to walk around in ass-less chaps & a pair of thigh-high boots — it’s too obvious. You want people to give you sideways glances; you want people to have to work at it to figure you out. It’s always best to keep them guessing, & far more alluring. So, when you’re putting your fetish look together, only have a couple of pieces which allude to your cruel & deviant ways. Also, when you’re dressing like this, remember to show off ONE great asset at a time. If your top is all about cleavage, then don’t also show a mile of leg. Retain some modesty — it is much more alluring & stylish.

Do you
Remember — you are not pretending to be someone else, or wearing a costume — you are still you. While it can be fun to get into evil mistress character, it’s not Hallowe’en, & there’s a fine line between being stylish & ridiculous. By this, I mean: keep your make-up light. Don’t pull your hair back in an overly severe manner. Don’t be tempted to load your arms with leather gauntlets or draw angry black slashes around your eyes. Wear your favourite perfume — not Eau de Dungeon. Be charming; smile!

I went to my most recent crush, Polyvore, to see what I could whip up for you… Pun intended.

Helmet Lang crochet back sweater, Vanessa Bruno pleat detail skirt, Fendi large B buckle belt, Alexander McQueen patent Elvie bag, Balenciaga heels, sequinned eye mask from Monsoon, black riding crop, two-finger silver ring.

Derek Lam satin smock dress worn with Christian Louboutin studded mary jane platforms. Aren’t those shoes incredible?! Shoegasm! If this looks too simple, however, you could probably throw some white latex stockings into the mix to spice it up.

If you want to stock your wardrobe with a few stylish fetish essentials, you might want to seek out…
Thigh-high (or over-the-knee) boots
A waist cincher or corset (those crazy old goths have the best information on that)
Latex stockings or lamé leggings from American Apparel
A collar of some description — but no spikes, please!
A figure-enhancing pencil skirt
High-heel Oxfords or ankle boots with interesting detailing — buckles, buttons, straps etc.
Fishnet stockings
A big belt that sits on the waist that looks more like a saddle
Driving gloves
Chunky rings

& just for fun… What’s in my (fetish) handbag?!

Chloé Heloise patent tote, ‘whip me beat me bite me’ patch, ballgag, blindfold, handcuffs, whip, cat mask, Betsey Johnson python driving gloves, Kleenex (boo hoo!) & a Polaroid camera, for capturing those… delicate moments.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Perform A Striptease!

[ 23 December 2007, 12:11 ]

‘Tis the season to be jolly… & why not be jolly while you take your clothes off?!

Why should I do it?
Well, why not?! But if you really need rationale, how about… because it’s sexy? Because it’s fun? Because it makes life more exciting? Because it’s harmless? Because your lover will be reminded how amazing you actually are? Because it’s liberating? Because you can?

Where do I begin?
There are two possible methods to start with. The first one is the deliberate tease — where you call or email or write your lover a note ahead of time & tell them what’s in store. Not explicitly; being subtle & dropping a few clues is sexier than just saying, “Oi, mate! I’m gonna take me kit off for you tonight!” The other option is just to surprise them. Maybe tell them to wait in the living room, & then just emerge looking fabulous.

Some other options for setting the scenario include dimming the lights or lighting candles.

What should I wear?
A few layers, but not too many. It doesn’t matter too much if it’s hugely uncomfortable, since ultimately it’s all coming off anyway. But you need to wear shoes you can walk & wiggle about in! Falling on your butt midway through your routine, while potentially hilarious, might not help maintain the atmosphere of mystery & seduction you’re aiming for!

A costume is an option (a sexy one, not a gorilla suit!), but if you’re really stumped & don’t have a favourite dress, try a collared shirt with a pencil skirt, seamed stockings, heels & your hair in a chignon. It’s an oldie but a goodie. Extra points for a pencil through your hair, which you then remove to shake out your tresses!

Good underwear is essential. It’s the most important part of the outfit — you’ll feel really daggy if you’re wearing saggy underpants or a bra that’s so tight it leaves visible marks on your skin. You don’t have to invest hundreds of dollars in good underwear, even though it’s nice to do so. You can buy hot, cute underpants for less than $10 if you know where to go, & a great bra with a cool design for less than $50. The lingerie industry is really great at the moment — there are a million different options when it comes to shape, size, colour or patterns, it tends to be fairly durable stuff & it’s very inexpensive.

I think a suspender belt worn with stockings is an integral part of the outfit. It gives you one more thing to remove (okay, three actually), & they’re SO hot & rare & fabulous, you just can’t go wrong.

As for make-up… If you’re good at it, you can’t go wrong with a nice cat’s eye. Red lipstick is also an excellent option.

You might also want to slap on a bit of fake tan the day before your big reveal. It sounds like a cliché but it really is great at covering “imperfections” & making you look slimmer & more toned. Even if your lover doesn’t notice, it’s worth doing for the confidence boost — which will come through.

Okay… tell me what I should do!
Now that you’re dressed, here’s a tip. Before you walk out to greet your audience, assume a persona. Pretend that you are a famous French dominatrix, or a sexy Russian spy — someone a little bit different. That way, when you walk into the living room, you won’t be tempted to refill the cat’s bowl before you start.

Walk into the room where the great seduction is about to take place. No, strike that — stride, strut or wiggle into the room. Tell your lover that you’re going to put on a show, & that you are in complete control. If they can be trusted to just sit there & behave, then leave it at that. If not, or if you want to make it a bit more exciting, lightly bind your lover’s hands with a silk scarf or even a rope if you have it, you little rascal!

Hit the music. Crank the volume a bit. Do a little dance. If you can’t dance, make sure you move your hips. Circling them around in the shape of a figure 8 is always sexy. Approach your lover slowly, lift their chin with a finger, make like you’re going to kiss them — then lightly push their head back.

Continue with your slow, sensual boogie. If you’re wearing a jacket or shirt, start to unbutton it, beginning at the top. Turn around so that your back is to them, & as you look back at them, continue unbuttoning. Smile! Raise your shoulder slightly so that the shirt or jacket slides down a little bit & exposes your shoulder. Extract both arms from the sleeves, then turn to face your audience, but at the same time, move the shirt around so that it’s covering your bra. Then, slowly let it drop to the floor.

Try to take off your skirt in one fluid motion, & be careful when you’re walking away from where it lies on the floor! Arch your back as you unzip it & slide it down to the ground.

Remove your shoes! Put one leg up on a chair or slightly raised surface & unhook one of your stockings. Before you take the stockings off, run your hands along your legs, from top to bottom & back again. Roll it down your leg, then take it off & let it float to the ground. Do the same with your other leg.

Keep dancing! Now you’re in your bra & underpants. If time has gone a little faster than expected, extend the length of the striptease by using a scarf as a prop. I know it sounds kind of silly, but it will give you something to do with your hands if you’re nervous, & somewhere to focus your attention (other than on your audience!). Flutter it across your body, dance around it, pretend it’s a horse — whatever works for you!

Now you can remove the last of your sultry garments. Approach your frenzied lover & slowly untie them. I think you can take it from here!

What music should I strip to?
I’m glad you asked, because good music is an essential element. It will help set the mood, give you a tempo & something to work to. I suggest you pick something that turns your crank! Something with a strong beat. Something fun. But if you’re not sure, here are some suggestions…

Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus
Madonna – Justify My Love
Gwen Stefani – Luxurious
Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around Comes Around / My Love
Timbaland – The Way I Are
Beyonce – Freakum Dress
Kylie Minogue – Chocolate
Kyuss – Gloria Lewis
Jimi Hendrix – Hey Joe
Andre 3000 feat. Norah Jones – Take Off Your Cool
LL Cool J – You Should
Notorious B.I.G. – Machine Gun Funk
Lenny Kravitz – Are You Gonna Go My Way?
Jamie Foxx – With You

This is the ultimate, though!

Can you give me some more hints? Please?
Sure!

Maintain eye contact at all times! It might be difficult &/or embarrassing, but do it anyway! It will make the experience a million times better (roughly).

Know that you are SEXY! If you feel it & believe it, it will come across. You don’t have to have a knock-out body, but if you have confidence, your lover will be salivating all over him- or herself.

Remember that it’s called a striptease for a reason! Take it slowly. Make ‘em wait. Torture the audience!

I’ve said it before, but just to make sure, your lover is NOT allowed to touch you while you perform your special act. Otherwise it will just turn into a hump festival. That can happen later, but for now, you have a job to do!

Imagine that your hands are your lover’s hands. Think about where he or she might like to put them — & then be obliging. Touch your body slowly & with intention, drawing attention to your favourite parts!

Before you start, ensure you have the place to yourself for at least the next hour. Knowing that your mother’s on her way over for tea doesn’t really help set the mood.

What does a good striptease look like?

Good luck, you little vixen!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Fabulous New Year's Eve Outfits

[ 20 December 2007, 01:50 ]

Okay, so I know I am slow to pick up on this trend, but I am severely obsessed with Polyvore. For those of you who don’t know what it is, Polyvore is a site which catalogues practically every piece of clothing & every accessory available online. You can search by item, website or colour, & then drag & drop the pictures to create dream outfits. As you can probably guess, it is very evil & very addictive.

Here are some ensembles I’ve come up with. I would be totally keen to wear one of these on New Year’s Eve. I have expensive taste! Anyway, I hope you enjoy gawking & find them inspiring!

Satin turban from Topshop; stack of bracelets by Jessica Kagan Cushman; leather jacket & gathered skirt by Rick Owens; carousel horse necklace by Dollydagger; white fingerless gloves by Patricia Field; jewelled clutch from Monsoon; hair-calf ankle boots by Manolo Blahnik.

Marc Jacobs monogram headband; black cardigan from Forever21; leopard print bangle; Chloe wool knickerbockers; brown Hermes birkin; Chloe platform buckle booties.

Sequin beret from Miss Selfridge; Ray-Ban glasses frames; Luella silk twill mini-dress; Luella “Geek!” tote bag; spectator platform oxfords; pearl bracelets from Topshop.

Grey beret from Mango; grey angora cardigan from Debenhams; Calypso Dupioni smock dress; Tiffany sapphire & diamond ring set in platinum; cubic zirconia channel ring; sequin hinged bracelets from Nordstrom; boots by Frye.

Emilio Pucci vintage sunglasses; utility shirt dress by Oli; aqua wool/cashmere pashmina; Missoni ribbed wool leggings; earrings by Claire’s; lucent sky false eyelashes by Shu Uemura; Josephine bangle by Mark Davis; Dior Cannage shoulder bag; Emilio Pucci printed open-toed heels.

What are you doing for New Year’s Eve? & more importantly, what are you going to WEAR?!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Tomboy Boot Camp

[ 12 December 2007, 14:26 ]

“I was a tomboy as a child, then as a teenager I had an ubercasual, slightly androgynous style (jeans/tees/trainers). But now I’m rapidly approaching 20 and desperate to look and feel feminine and sophisticated. I tried to throw myself in at the deep end by buying a couple of pretty skirts, but I feel overdressed and awkward so I’ve never actually worn them outside my flat. How can I ease myself gradually into this girly stuff (without feeling like a drag queen)? And how can I look feminine and still be casual for uni?”

Consider androgyny
Dresses aren’t for everyone, & there is no point forcing yourself to dress in a way that doesn’t suit your personality or lifestyle. If you’re most comfortable dressing like a tomboy, consider upgrading to a more androgynous appearance. There is nothing wrong with looking androgynous — in fact, I think it’s an incredibly sexy style. The difference between being a tomboy & a hot androgynous girl-thing is the polish. Tomboys don’t brush their hair or they just throw it back into a ponytail; androgynous girls have great haircuts which they tousle to make it look like they just finished having sex. Tomboys don’t wear make-up; androgynous girls use a bit of foundation to even out their complexion & smudge some pencil around their eyes to make them look smoky & mysterious. Tomboys wear ill-fitting jeans & a baggy t-shirt; androgynous girls wear fitted black jeans or tailored black pants & a skinny-cut business shirt or interesting vintage tee. Do you see the difference? Androgyny requires effort, as dressing “femme” does — it’s just a variation.

Work with your own style
If jeans & a t-shirt are what you’re comfortable in, use that as a base to start from. You don’t have to wear floral tea dresses & knit blankets for everyone you meet! If you like to wear pants, then do that — just approach it differently. Make sure your pants fit you. Pick a cut that is flattering, that makes you look tall & slender. Check out your booty in the mirror — a good pair of pants are like a booster bra for your bum, rather than a minimising bandage. Instead of buying big, loose hoodies, buy a cardigan that reaches your hips, a vintage tuxedo jacket, or a v-neck cashmere sweater. Basically, think of your original style, but make it luxe. That means quality fabrics & flattering cuts.

Dabble with jewellery
You don’t have to start walking around like you own a diamond mine, but a little bit of jewellery is a really nice accent. Think of it as a personal signature. Of course, given that you probably won’t be wearing much of it, make sure that you buy something you absolutely love. Your skin tone will tend to dictate whether gold or silver suits you better. Gold is good for warm tones (people with olive skin, for example), while silver, white gold or platinum tends to look better on anyone who is pale. A fine chain with a couple of charms on it makes for a really nice signature necklace, just like a couple of plain bangles or a simple ring will. You don’t need to go for the gaudy stuff unless you really want to. (I can never resist, but then, that’s just my style.) I always think it’s worth spending the money on good jewellery. You get what you pay for, & if you buy something that is good quality, it will last you a really long time.

Buy one skirt
This step is optional, but if you do want to venture into more feminine pastures, buying one skirt is a good way to start. The reason for only buying one skirt is that it is really non-threatening. If you end up never wearing it, it’s only one item — not five, so there’s less guilt about seeing it in your closet. Plus, if you buy well, you’ll be able to coordinate it with lots of things in your wardrobe. I would suggest going for a pencil, maxi or pleated knee-length skirt in a neutral colour like black or grey. You can wear any of those with a fitted t-shirt, singlet, vest or business shirt (loosened at the collar with rolled-up sleeves, please!).

Upgrade your footwear
If you only wear sneakers & would like to continue in that grand tradition, that is totally cool — but just step it up a bit. Buy a pair of decked-out sequin Converse, or glitter customised Nikes. Check out Sneaker Freaker for the latest information on the sweetest kicks. Alternatively, if you prefer boots, just move higher up the boot food chain. I am a huge fan of Frye boots, though a great pair of cowboy boots are always cool & very versatile. Now, for the really daring — high heels! Start with a low-ish heel, & see how you go. There’s no point in buying a 6” heel & then breaking your ankle! You can also try a kitten heel to start, though I agree with Victoria Beckham when she says…

“I think a lot of women see them as the wearable compromise to high heels, but in fact they have none of the benefits of high heels yet also none of the casual ease of flats. High heels elongate your leg because they pull up your calf muscles; kitten heels make your muscles tense & swell up; high heels hoist you up; kitten heels make you slump. But most of all, they make your feet look bigger: they emphasise the feet by having them point downwards. There is nothing wrong with big feet but in this case they will look out of proportion to the rest of your body.”

Anyway, it’s your choice! Read How To Buy A Good Pair Of Shoes & How To Walk In High Heels before you set off on a shopping expedition!

Grooming is key
As I said above, the one thing that separates tomboys from everyone else is the grooming aspect. Grooming — to me, at least — means having a good haircut & looking after it, taking care of your skin, wearing a little bit of make-up & having neat nails. It also covers a gamut of little things, such as wearing clean clothes, fixing any holes or rips, not having your underwear show above your jeans, etc. Doing all these things might seem like a lot of effort, but really it’s just like any routine. You’ll get used to it & the benefits are enormous. I know that I always feel much more presentable (& therefore good about myself) when I have a great manicure & an immaculate haircut. It will be similar for you!

Get thee to a make-up counter
Go to a counter you like the look of (I recommend MAC & NARS), tell one of the assistants that you’re trying to bust out of your old tomboy habits, & ask them to help you. They will probably be delighted. Like Cher says in Clueless: “Ooh, project!” Get the assistant to make you up & observe what they’re doing. Ask lots of questions & don’t be afraid — most of these people are in make-up artistry because they love it & want to help other people. When it comes to purchasing, I recommend obtaining a bottle of foundation, some concealer, a tube of mascara & a black or brown eyeliner pencil. A separate brush for your foundation & concealer are a good idea too. Take your loot home & start experimenting!

Empty your pockets!
No, not just when you’re paying for your new purchases! Stop storing things in your pockets! It is unsightly & silly. Buy a bag that you like & start carrying things around in that, instead. When you buy it, look at the hardware (the metal clasps). Are they gold or silver? If you want to look put-together, the hardware on your bag should match the jewellery you wear. Just a little tip!

Outfit ideas

Cropped tuxedo jacket by Oli; Disney magic castle necklace; t-shirt by Imaginary Foundation; grey cigarette trousers by Topshop; CC Skye leather chain bracelet; Betseyville Glitterati roll satchel; gold python belt by V.B.H.; Kenzie ankle boots.

James Perse cashmere v-neck; wool & cashmere fringed scarf; Marc Jacobs padlock heart charm watch; Falke over-the-knee socks; RM Pandora shorts; chap ankle boots by Steve Madden.

Feminising your tomboy style is a gradual process. You’re not going to wake up one day & feel like it’s time to float away on a cloud of gossamer petticoats — it’s something you’ll (hopefully) continue to tweak as your style & life progresses. There’s no sense in forcing yourself to dress in a way that makes you feel ridiculous, so just make little changes & see how you go. You will make mistakes, but don’t let that scare you off. Just see it as a normal stumbling block on the way towards a more refined you!

Extra For Experts:
Clothes Shopping Tips
Fashion Help For Recovering Goths
Hand & Nail Care
How Wearing Make-Up Affects Your Career
Making Short Hair More Interesting
How To Choose A Flattering Haircut
The Essential Guide To Dressing For Your Shape

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Gala's Christmas Gift Guide!

[ 30 November 2007, 11:16 ]

Arrrgghhhhhhh! It’s almost Christmas! Yes, it can be a time of extreme pain & near-homicide — but, my sweet, it does not have to be. For you see, my obsessive internet perusal has been put to good use, & I have a huge store of suggestions to spice up your gift-giving this year.

The worst, worst, worst thing about Christmas is wandering aimlessly from shop to shop, against a crush of other, equally meandering people, & trying desperately to think of a gift that will please Aunt Rita. Don’t torture yourself, seriously. Do your shopping online or decide exactly what you want & make it as painless as possible. I recommend taking a morning off work on a Tuesday or something, & getting it all over & done with in one clean swoop.

Before we begin, read my article on Gift-Giving, because it might give you some clues as to where to start. Why not, for example, give someone a themed gift? Make everything purple, or all Paris-themed, or all things for the feet. Think about what your friends like, & start dreaming.

I think Etsy is a fantastic place to buy gifts, because everything is made by hand, with lots of love, care & attention. I would much rather help a girl in California following her passion than give my hard-earned dosh to yet another mega-corporation! Their search function is great — just type in a random word & I always search by “Most Viewed”: it tends to spit up the most interesting things!

Mme. Fortuna is one of my favourite Etsy sellers. She creates gorgeous, one of a kind jewellery with a fabulous old-time bohemian feel. Her Captain Time necklace is really special, I am totally in love with it. I also like her Pendulum necklace & Victorian Lady Magical Charm necklace.

Jewellery is a really great gift to give. I especially love it because it’s kind of like having a token of someone’s affection on you all the time. Blood diamonds are totally gauche (not to mention artificially overpriced), so buy your friend or lover something fun, instead. I love this Super Sprinkles Heart necklace, as well as this Sparkle Heart & Leather cuff by Marty Flint. So cool! Helpless Romantic do the ever-popular Say Anything You Want necklace (like Nubby‘s!), which is also available in Helvetica for all you font nerds! But of all these things, my absolute favourites are Jessica Kagan Cushman‘s faux-scrimshaw resin bracelets. (My votes go to “Truly fabulous people never get dressed before lunchtime” & “Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess.”)

If you know someone with an Elle Driver fetish, pick them out a crystal-encrusted eyepatch from Gasoline Glamour in their favourite colour! NYC-obsessed girls will love this NYC subway map hoodie — they might even share a hot dog with you. Dreamwoven do incredible sculptural knit hats for brave people, & these Vintage Letter Pins from Day-Lab will make someone very happy.

For people who love to smell good, Lush do a whole gamut of amazing Christmas products. I’m not really into their pre-packaged gift boxes, since I think it’s a bit thoughtless, but buying someone a sweet, glittery hunk of bubble bath as an accompaniment to another gift will score you major points. Go & have a sniff of the Twinkle bath ballistic, Ruby Red Slippers bubble bar, Mr Butterball bath ballistic (so cute in his little hat & scarf, as well as being deliciously softening!), Snowcake soap & Snow Fairy shower gel. I promise you will not be disappointed!

If your friends tend to favour things which are more functional than beautiful, remember that the two need not be mutually exclusive. An organiser is an excellent gift, but only if you give it to the right person! I adore Moleskine diaries & I think they are pretty much the perfect present. If you don’t want to give a Moleskine — even though they are amazing, I understand that sometimes you want something a little more exciting — Lovely Design do beautiful Pocket Books. Instead of plain pages, all the paper is found & reused & there are envelopes too. It is the ideal thing to fill up with secrets.

Guys seem really hard to buy for, & it’s so easy to resort to ye olde standard fall-back presents like aftershave or socks. True, men do need these things, but why not surprise them with them on the 17th of March? Christmas time is about being decadent, so why not get them something that will blow their (holey) socks off?

I think almost any slightly-geeky guy (isn’t that about 95% of them?) would be over the moon with a watch from Tokyoflash. They are incredible & totally Hackers. Another knock-out gift for anyone with even minimal geeky inclinations is an Ecosphere. They’re enclosed ecosystems, & totally amazing. I was going to buy one for my boyfriend but they don’t ship to Australia, argh!

Pick him up a great record or something for his guitar; take him speaker shopping; buy him a comfortable (& stylish) armchair; take him away on a surprise vacation; buy a whole lot of plants for his office or a weights machine. Oh, & for any boys who love Notorious B.I.G., you absolutely cannot go wrong buying them this shirt...

Attention, women: Men aren’t actually that difficult to buy for — they like stuff as much as women do. It’s just that you need to shift your mindset a bit so that you start thinking like a guy. While it can be tempting to push an agenda onto a boyfriend, by buying him clothes so that he looks how you wish he would or by purchasing a handsome gardening tool-kit, remember that it’s his Christmas too! Buy him something he actually likes. Think how upset you’d (probably) be if he bought you breast implants! Anyway, you get the picture — please buy with him in mind.

I know that there are a lot of people who already have everything they need. It’s just the way things go — if they want or need something, most people will figure out a way to obtain it. When trying to buy for the person whose life is bursting at the seams with stuff, think about being useful instead of just adding to their collection of muck. Maybe they need a professional wardrobe organiser to come by & help them out. Perhaps they are constantly whinging about their sore muscles — get them a massage voucher. Or maybe they never really treat themselves — buy them a mani/pedi & a facial. They will thank you for it!

Another thing to consider is a gift that keeps giving — no, not an infectious disease! A subscription to an amazing magazine fulfils this requirement, as does a beautiful flowering plant or a year’s paid housecleaning. One of the coolest things my boyfriend ever did for me was going to the library to pay my $100+ late fines. Or if your friend has just moved into a new apartment or is feeling otherwise dissatisfied with their living quarters, why not take them on a shopping trip to IKEA?

Super-practical presents can really improve the quality of the recipient’s life if you choose carefully. I can’t think of a single person whose life wouldn’t get better if you bought them a good digital camera, for example. Similarly, most people would love a crazy camera like anything from the Lomo shop. Or you could even search thrift shops & Ebay for an old Polaroid camera in good condition. Documentation of your life is important & having more tools to do it with is always appreciated.

What about your friend with the antiquated cellphone? Maybe you could upgrade them this Christmas. Perhaps you could give your old laptop to a friend who is technologically lagging. We don’t always have to spend piles of money on presents — often it’s the thoughtful donation of something that someone really needs which means the most.

Finally, I tend to advise against giving anyone a voucher or gift card for a particular store, just because it’s so limiting. I read a statistic — which I cannot find for the life of me — which said that some huge amount of money is wasted on them every year, just because people will either spend $17 of a $20 voucher, or never use it at all. If you really & truly cannot think of anything to get your friends, just take them shopping. Set a limit & have a day of it — let them pick whatever they want. This way you’ll have a fun shared experience & they’ll get something they love.

Oh, & happy holidays!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Romancing Yourself

[ 28 November 2007, 14:18 ]

“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy & you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be… & who you want to spend it with.” — Kim Cattrall

I was inspired to write this piece by a fantastic girl called Kylie who emailed me the other day, saying that she had never had a boyfriend & was pretty happy that way. Recently, however, in a conversation with a friend, she declared that she was no longer single — that she was dating herself! She said, “I believe in order to find your soul mate you need to find yourself & who you are… so I have decided to date myself & get to know who I am first.”

I couldn’t be happier for her, & as I read her email, sparks flew inside my skull & I knew I needed to write an article on romancing oneself!

How many horror stories have you heard about people dating wildly inappropriate people? I’ve heard hundreds, & they just keep coming. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that so many of us don’t know what we really want in another person. If I asked you to describe your dream lover, would you be able to? Not the physical attributes, but the aspects of their personality that really matter to you. So many people just don’t know.

To cut down on the amount of hideous dating disasters, it makes a lot of sense to get to know & love YOURSELF before attempting to do the same of another person. Maybe it’s time to start dating yourself.

How can you do that? Well, the short answer is to treat yourself as if you’re a person that you are head-over-heels in love with. What would you do for that dream person? Would you cook them fabulous meals, take them to the movies, fly them to Paris for a weekend? Time to start doing that for yourself! But here are some other suggestions…

Tell yourself that you’re beautiful
& do it every day. Look in the mirror while you’re in the bathroom getting ready to face the world & say, “You know what? You’re really gorgeous/handsome/beautiful/dashing/sexy.” (Whatever works best for you.) At first, saying this aloud might make you feel like the world’s most tragic person, & so if it does, try saying it in a silly voice & making it kind of like a comedy routine. But I promise you that after a while, you’ll begin to believe it — & you’ll feel so much better when you leave the house, because you know that you like yourself.

Go on dates alone
So many people are afraid to go to the movies or eat dinner alone! Learn to embrace this, especially if you’re afraid of it. There is no need to be scared of your own company, & if your primary worry is that people are judging you: trust me, they’re not. They probably think you are brave & that there is some awesome & mysterious reason why you are watching Casablanca alone. Go to museums, dance parties, art exhibitions & parks too. You do not need to wait for other people to accompany you to do the things you want! Going out with friends is great, of course, but experiencing the world alone is another thing entirely. Not to mention, dancing alone is one of the most fun things ever — come on, it has to be great if Billy Idol sang about it!

“Oh, dancing with myself, oh, dancing with myself, well there’s nothing to lose, & there’s nothing to prove, I’ll be dancing with myself!”

Buy flowers
Buy a huge bouquet of your favourite flowers & put them somewhere where you can admire them on a regular basis. Perhaps next to your bed or on your desk at work. Make a mental note to remember that they are a reflection of your love for yourself.

Spend hours in bookshops
Libraries, too. Allow yourself to wander all the way across the floor, from rack to rack, upstairs & down to the basement. Make notes of the books which interest you, & don’t allow your rational mind to get the better of you. If you want to submerge yourself in cooking books, or tomes on shoes, or a stack of pages on F1 racing cars, then do it! This is a really good way of getting to know yourself. Maybe you’ll become obsessed with industrial design or the illustrations in children’s books — & who knows where that could eventually lead?!

Start keeping a journal
Buy a journal (I like Moleskines, but what’s new?) & a super pen, & make a commitment to writing every day. As soon as you wake up, set a timer for 20 minutes & just write. Write write write. If you don’t know what to write, start by writing “I don’t know what to write…” Don’t worry about what you’re putting down — the beauty of “morning pages” (as they’re called) is that it is an authentic, true expression of yourself without censorship. Writing regularly & knowing that your words won’t be read by anyone else is incredibly liberating & an excellent way of getting to know who you really are. If you think about it, it’s the mornings when you are most yourself — you’ve just woken from a dream, the room is silent, the day stretches out in front of you like a cat & there are no external influences pushing or pulling you. Take this time for yourself, make it yours & appreciate it.

Learn about your sexuality
This is a really important part of the whole deal! Get to grips with what gets you off & what just plain turns you off. After all, if you don’t know what you want, how is your future lover going to know? Read erotica, rent porn, do online “research” & visit sex shops. No, not the nasty seedy ones — well, unless you want to! (Violet has a great list of stores here.)

Support yourself
You need to learn to become your own best friend — to have faith in the choices you make & to have your own back. Really, if you don’t look after, trust & respect yourself, who will? Be good to yourself. Stand up for yourself. It’s not quite a goodnight smooch, but I promise it will make you happy regardless.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Preparatory Style

[ 19 November 2007, 16:53 ]

What is preparatory style? (Definition here.)

Preparatory style is something I have admired for a long time. I guess the reason I like it is because it’s so far removed from the way that I normally attire myself, but because it has such strong elements, I really respect it for what it is. When I was at school, I was forced to dress in a preppy style (white collared shirt, green tie, green kilt, black stockings, black shoes, green blazer), & even though I often rebelled against having to constantly tuck in my shirt, I kind of liked the simplicity of the look too.

There are a lot of people who look preppy but also dull. Turning you into a conservative clone is not the aim of this article! I think it is super important, regardless of the style in which you dress, to imbue your look with personal touches & striking individuality.

Let’s get one thing straight — done well, the prep look is incredibly hot. Healthy, athletic-looking people clad in perfectly-fitting natural fibres, like cotton, wool & leather, is really hard to beat. It’s also a very easy way to look chic & polished.

Essential elements

For anyone of either sex going for a preppy aesthetic, the following items are essential: Crisp collared shirts, v-neck cashmere sweaters, lace-up oxfords, scarves, vests for all occasions, classic sunglasses, a trenchcoat, riding boots (Frye do the best ones) & polo t-shirts. You could also carry a tennis racquet for bonus points. Another bonus point for oxfords in patent leather.

Girls, as usual, have a few more additional extras. Try experimenting with headbands, patterned legwear, skirts with pleats, well-fitted dresses, pearls, charm bracelets & cubic zirconia stud earrings (diamonds are so gauche).

Usually most prep dressing stays within a pretty plain palette — black, white, navy, red, grey. If you’re buying basics to supplement this look, it’s best to stick within these colours, & then if you want to don a yellow blazer or royal blue kilt, you’ll find that it probably goes quite well with the rest of your wardrobe.

Stripes are the preparatory holy grail. They are perfect. To do the look well, you should own at least one striped shirt or sweater, & a pinstriped vest, blazer or suit jacket. Argyle, polka dots, tweed & tartan all have their place as well. Preps also love emblems & crests. You can go totally nuts with this — they’re so cool, I just adore them.

It’s also important to have a great stock of basic items, like plain v-neck t-shirts, racerback singlets & collared t-shirts. (American Apparel is my favourite place for these.)

How to do it

One thing that sets prep style apart from other ways of dress is that things tend to be immaculately fitted to the body. If you’re going to rock this look, it is really really important that you buy clothing which is the right size for you. As well as the standard criteria of buying things which fit — look in a mirror; make sure you can move around in your clothing; check lengths; be sure that your clothing skims your body rather than clinging to it — you also need to think about layering. Preps love to layer! It is not uncommon to wear a shirt & a vest & a cardigan & a blazer, as well as a scarf. When you buy items like this, you need to consider what is likely to be worn under or over them. Make sure your vest will fit a shirt beneath it, for example. Buy a blazer with a bit of extra room so that you can wear it with a sweater. You get the idea. (More information on layering at How To Wear Layers Without Looking Like A Crazy Bag Lady!)

Just as the cut is important, so is the quality of what you’re buying. Don’t be tempted to buy 3 wool sweaters for $50 each — save your money & buy one which is fantastic quality but twice the price. It will pay for itself. You’ll get much more wear out of it, & it will look good for a lot longer than something cheaper. Even though these days we can buy clothing for a pittance, you truly do get what you pay for.

For girly prep style, it is hard to go past a good dress — one that fits you well — or a skirt with pleats. When I say a dress that fits you well, I mean something which draws attention to your best assets & skims over your flaws. By the way, to do prep style properly, drawing attention to your best assets does not mean major cleavage. Make the focus your neck, collarbone, forearms or legs. Choose one thing & showcase it. Don’t let it all hang out!

Putting together a preppy look is quite easy. Take a plain white v-neck t-shirt & match it with a pleated skirt. That’s your basic outfit, but then you can mix it up quite a lot. Throw a cardigan over the top. Wear knee-length socks & wingtip shoes or platform mary janes. Carry a pvc satchel & wear amazing glasses. Pull your hair up into a chignon & secure it with a brightly-coloured ribbon. Wear a stack of bracelets on one arm, or a silk scarf knotted around your neck. Accessories are the way to ensure your preppy look isn’t boring or stale.

Another way of mixing it up is to make one element slightly unusual. For example, if you’re a boy wearing a crisp shirt & v-neck cashmere sweater, instead of donning the standard khakis that would normally go with this look, you could try wearing long skinny jeans in a plain wash — like black. Or you could wear shorts that fall to the knee with a pair of slip-on trainers (Vans, for example). Don a fedora & you’re ready to go.

Some people feel really constricted & boring in a collared shirt. I understand, I feel the same way! Allow yourself to wear it in a relaxed manner — leave the top couple of buttons undone & always, always, always roll up the cuffs! Forearms are sexy, okay?

Putting it into practice

Here are some great pieces I’ve found online which will help you embrace the prep look!

Left to right: Moschino Cheap & Chic Quilted Applique Heart Gloves; Marc Jacobs button detail boots; Karen Walker Super Speed sunglasses; Ralph Lauren Large Stirrup Bracelet; Silk Lace Printed Scarf; Grandpa’s Pocket Watch Necklace; Oscar de la Renta Larrabe Frame Bag; Lux Lili Tuxedo Bomber; Sweater Earwarmers; Fedora Hat; Small Satchel Bag With Buckle; Tiffany & Co. Return to Tiffany Heart Tag Bracelet.

Left to right: Ralph Lauren Luxury Shetland Wool Crewneck (I love this in the power blue they have on the model. I wish more men would wear this colour! It is totally orgasmic!); Ralph Lauren Cashmere Jersey V-Neck; Ralph Lauren Lambswool Half-Zip Pullover. P.S. I don’t recommend tucking your trousers into your boots. I think it is a bit naff.

Left to right: Ralph Lauren Martine Long-Sleeved Shirt; Ralph Lauren Big Pony Mesh Dress; Ralph Lauren Adrianne rugby dress.

All of these pieces from Ralph Lauren would make excellent cornerstones of your preppy wardrobe. The styling above is a bit staid, but imagine, for example, the R.L. Martine Long-Sleeved Shirt with a pair of shorts or a skirt & Frye Engineer Lace-Up Boots! Yum.

When it comes to restyling the traditional prep look, your imagination & courageous spirit are your best assets. Well, that & your Visa! Try new things, especially if you think they won’t work — you never know, you could strike aesthetic gold!

Extra For Experts:
Gossip Girl Style
Gala’s Guide To Tennis Chic
Equestrian Chic

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Gossip Girl Style

[ 14 November 2007, 13:15 ]

I don’t know how many of you have been swept away — as I have — in the Gossip Girl phenomenon. For those of you who have managed to avoid the hysteria, Gossip Girl is a new drama series which trails the life of upper crust teenagers in Manhattan — & a couple of teenagers in Brooklyn, who are, well, I guess, more stale crust than upper crust. Of course, one of these kids from Brooklyn, the sensitive Dan Humphrey, looks set to be one of the heroes of the series.

My point is: the show is fantastic. I love it. I love it so much that it makes me actually squeal aloud at the twists & turns of the cast. I guess I am a bit obsessed with it. But as well as the juicy plot lines, exhilarating writing & good-lookin’ cast, it has another thing going for it.

Gossip Girl is, without a doubt, the most stylish show on television. Don’t believe me?

I think Blair is definitely the most well-dressed girl on the show. I love her preppy chic style, always with a twist. She is often seen wearing headbands, anything with a high neck, pearls & patterned stockings. Her mouth is always immaculately made up in a deep berry or cherry red glossed pout.

Really, the star of Gossip Girl is Serena van der Woodsen, who dresses like a cross between Kate Moss & Sienna Miller… if they went to a prestigious school on the Upper East Side, I guess. I am not totally enamoured of her style, but she definitely has some nice touches. A couple of weeks ago she wore a white Henley t-shirt with a loose black tie & short skirt & it looked pretty good. I love her long socks here, & the cardigan pulled down over her fingers. She is the more reckless & dishevelled of the two girls — as if you couldn’t tell!

This is Chuck. He is a total slimeball & I am in love with him. Sad, but true. In the first episode he wore this scarf with everything. It looked great — his big square scarf draped over suits really made him stand out. It gave him an air of individuality & established him as a prominent character. If you’re a man, having a signature scarf that you wear with most things is a fantastic & simple way to dress up your outfit. Go for something that complements your eyes & is bold enough that it kind of intimidates you — think jade green or aqua. (Having one in wool for winter & one in silk for summer is probably a good call.)

Nate, on the left, is Blair’s beau. He is a looker but a bit of a sap & wears pretty much the same thing all the time. NEXT! Blair, on the other hand, is fantastic. I loooove her dress, I loooove her matching pearl bracelets, I looooove the ribbon on her headband. Her hair is also completely magnificent. Yum.

Isabel & Kati are Blair’s disciples. They dress the same but with different colour accents. It looks brilliant on-screen but please don’t try it with your friends. Anyway, they always look great & I have a sneaking suspicion that they get the best accessories of anyone on the show — colourful knit hats, cool sunglasses, head-wraps & necklaces. I love their faux-dog bags in this picture. Too fabulous.

Another example of Blair’s stellar style. I adore the head-wrap (of course), & the way that it perfectly matches her dress. Again, she’s wearing a high-necked style, which totally suits her. The tie around her waist helps give the dress shape while immaculately off-setting the head-wrap.

Ahhh, now, the pièce de résistance! I actually decided to write this whole thing based on Chuck’s outfit in the latest episode. He looks AMAZING. Purple & white striped tie, champagne-coloured tie with white polka dots, purple pocket square & lightly pinstriped — & immaculately fitting — suit with one button done up. Drool. Seriously. Drool. Whoever styled him last week needs a medal & a big kiss.

Gossip Girl is really fuelling my current lust for preparatory chic. Stay tuned for tips on how to rock prep chic your way!

Extra For Experts:
The official site — includes a “style” section, where you can purchase the items you see on the show!
Full episodes online — US only…
Full episodes online — Canada only…
& may I suggest Livejournal for the rest of us?

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Nippies Giveaway!

[ 10 October 2007, 10:55 ]

I was recently the recipient of a couple of pairs of Nippies. What are Nippies?, I hear you ask. Well, my darling! Nippies are the next frontier in preventing fashion mishaps! Nippies are nipple covers — but not those awful beige ones that look like you’ve had surgery done. Nippies are sexy, colourful, playful & flirtatious by their very nature! I am officially in love with them!

Once I put them on, I seriously didn’t want to take them off. I wore them all day, feeling like a sexy burlesque superstar.

I recently bought a tennis dress from the Stella McCartney for Adidas range. I love it, but in a shocking oversight, they’ve made the fabric in the bust thin & slightly transparent. As they say in Girlfriend magazine, “How Embarrassment!” Thankfully, Nippies are the perfect solution for any dress which is a bit see-through, though I am sure my imparting this knowledge invokes the ire of men everywhere!

As well as offering peace of mind for those of us who love strapless or low-cut dresses, Nippies would be perfect for burlesque dancers, Burning Man attendees or even slapped on the arm as a bit of sparkly accompaniment to a simple black dress.

Well, enough of me prattling on about how I love them. I want to give you the opportunity to experience the fabulousness for yourself! Nippies & I have partnered up & I am delighted to offer 5 lucky vixens a pack of Nippies each!

All you have to do is write to me telling me about an occasion where Nippies would help you out or save your dignity! Please also include your name, address, & which pair of Nippies most tickles your fancy! Check the website for the full range!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Sexual Abuse

[ 28 September 2007, 21:11 ]

“So my question regards your “Giving Up The Ghost“ article. When I first read that, it really inspired me to move on with my life, but recently have been plagued by my past. A couple years ago I dated a boy. I didn’t really like him that much, I just had him to have him, if that makes any sense. I had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship, so I was on a rebound as well. Anyway, I dated this boy for several months. He had many problems of his own, he drank and did drugs, which he kept a secret from me. He pressured me a lot into many things and brought me down. I’m not sure why I stayed with him, I think it was because I had just started college and all my friends were away at other schools; he was the first person I really made friends with. Anyway, one night, about 3 or 4 months after we began dating, he took advantage of me after I told him “no.” A few days later he called me and broke up with me and told me it was my fault he had done that to me. At the time I didn’t take it personally, I’m a strong woman and have been through a lot in my life, I was equipped to handle this. I went to the doctor and was checked out, I had a clean bill of health (I’m so thankful for this).

“It’s been two years since this happened and now it’s starting to eat at me and affect me and my relationships. Since then I just floated from relationship to relationship not really dealing with the problem. I have talked about it but nothing seems to have changed with me emotionally. This summer, out of the blue, something triggered back to that night and it really upset me. It caused all kinds of problems with me personally, suddenly I was questioning everything and everyone around me. I decided to go to counselling, but with school and work, any extra time is hard to find. I started feeling better once school started (to keep my mind off of things) but on the first day I walk out of my building and guess who I see, the boy that took advantage of me! He’s going to my school now and I see him everyday, he has classes with my friends and they talk about me. Why is he in my life again all of a sudden?! This really isn’t helping me get over all of this.

“So, my question is how do I deal with this personally, aside from counselling? I’m trying to keep myself busy and be healthy, but I still find myself getting down about this. My current boyfriend has tried to help but it’s becoming overwhelming for him since there’s not much he can do or say about it.”

It has taken me a really long time to write about this. The reason for that is because it’s a big topic, an important one, & I wanted my contribution on the matter to be helpful. I know that this is something that affects a lot of people — both sexes — so I have been cautious with what I say. I didn’t want this to turn into a rant about how bad the world can be, or for it to be angry, anti-male, depressing or a “me too” tale of epic proportions. I didn’t want to use scare tactics or quote statistics. This piece is written for the original letter-writer & for anyone who has experienced this themselves. It is about dealing with sexual abuse & how you can move forward.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. It was not your fault. It is never your fault. You did not deserve it. No one ever “deserves” anything bad to happen to them. Your ex-boyfriend is trying to deflect the blame & avoid taking responsibility for his actions. Don’t shoulder that stuff, it is not your problem. He has his own issues to deal with.

The most important thing you can do is look after yourself. You need to think about you, you, you. If that means you need time out from your boyfriend, then you should tell him so. You say you have spoken about it with him. You may want to find someone who you can talk about it with — someone who is not in an intimate relationship with you. A close friend, maybe, or a therapist who you like enough that you make time for. A lot of people talk about counselling, & how it is useful, & of course, it is. Talking about our problems is hugely beneficial to us. But it doesn’t make them go away completely. I know people who have been in counselling or psychotherapy for years, & they are still as messed up as they were before — just now, they are able to talk about their problems. It is not my intention to speak ill of therapy or reduce its benefits, but I just feel that it has limitations.

I know I talk a lot about EFT, & it probably bothers some people because they don’t see how it could possibly work or what the fuss is about. I understand that it’s weird, & I don’t really know how it works either — but it DOES. I think that is the most important thing. If I could get rid of major trauma by jumping on one foot, I would, do you know what I mean?

If you’re relatively new to iCiNG or have somehow managed to avoid all the EFT references, here’s a quick run-down. EFT is a technique where we stimulate meridian points (like in acupuncture, except no needles) while thinking about problems or issues. Somehow, doing this releases them from our body’s memory. It is incredible. EFT is also an excellent way to rewire our brains so that we feel deep love, respect & forgiveness for & of ourselves.

I think it is one of the most incredible discoveries. It is very well suited for dealing with sexual abuse, haunting memories, or anything associated with an assault (inability to be intimate with others, fear, etc.). Here are some examples of it working — 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5. When I say it works, I mean it completely removes the pain of the memory. These are all testimonials of people who have used EFT to release past sexual trauma. Those testimonials explain how the people who have tried using EFT on these issues can no longer feel any emotion regarding the event. That is just mind-boggling, but true!

I read once that our body doesn’t know the difference between a memory & an event, so every time we replay something negative in our head, it’s like we are experiencing it all over again. So, in my humble opinion, it is worth trying. If you don’t know where to begin, check out my piece on EFT here — there is a video & everything. If you don’t know what to say, just say anything that comes into your head. There is no right or wrong with EFT, but I would advise drinking a lot of water & doing it in a place where you know you won’t be interrupted.

Rape, sexual abuse & sexual assault are hideous things to have happen to you, & unfortunately if they do happen, there is no way to erase that part of your life. However, you do have the power to tackle it however you like. You can think about it all the time & let the rest of your life suffer, or you can choose to deal with it & move on. It is entirely up to you.

You do not need to let it define you — it doesn’t define you. If a person is rude to you in the street or a shop, do you take it personally? I hope not. Sexual abuse is similar in that it involves you, but is never about you. It is about the other person. Drop any feelings or blame or guilt or “I could have prevented it if only…”. These feelings do not serve you, you are only inflicting further pain on yourself.

If you don’t want to try EFT, then please do yourself a favour & using the fingers of one hand, tap the padded side of your hand (under your little finger) whenever you have thoughts about what has happened to you. The anxiety, fear, anger or depression will lift, I promise.

Sometimes it can take a while — weeks, months or years — for people to realise what has happened to them. It’s very common to think of what happened as just an unpleasant experience, or something that went too far, & then one day you become aware of what it actually was. That can be very scary. It doesn’t really matter whether you give it a label or not, in fact I tend to think that labels just make life difficult, but any unwanted sexual behaviour is a gross abuse of power & trust.

Whether you report what happened to the police or not is up to you. If assault goes unreported, there is always the chance that your ex-boyfriend (or any perpetrator) will do the same thing to someone else. Talking to law enforcement about something which has happened to your body can be difficult to say the least, but you may find it gives you solace.

In response to your question (sorry it has taken me so long to get back on topic!), the best thing I think you can do is to use EFT to let your body know that you love, respect & forgive yourself for everything that has happened. This might be something you know at an intellectual level, but that you don’t really know at a deep level. I cannot begin to tell you what a huge difference this will make to your quality of life. Like the testimonials verify, all of the bad feelings related to the incident will just go away. Like cutting the string on an (environmentally friendly!) balloon. Incredible, but true.

If you can then move on to accepting & forgiving your ex-boyfriend for what he did to you, then so much the better. It will make your life about a million times easier. You don’t have to be his best buddy, of course that’s not a good idea. But walking around feeling hatred or loathing isn’t good for you — it warps you, & turns you into someone you are not.

I suspect that the reason he has re-appeared in your life is because the universe is telling you that you need to deal with what he has done to you. You may find that, once you have dealt with this issue, he sort of… disappears again. If not, you have some choices. You can go to the police & file a restraining order. You can tell him (or have your boyfriend tell him) in no uncertain terms to stay the %&^$ away from you, & that if he doesn’t comply with your request, that you will take legal action against him. You can tell some of your closest friends that he abused your trust & that you would be really appreciative if they had nothing to do with him. You can let someone high up in your school know what the situation is, & ask for their help or advice. Or you can just stay away from him.

Good luck to you, honey. You will be okay — in fact, you will be more than okay. When you decide to deal with what has happened to you, you will be restored to your former brilliance: a beautiful, shining light full of love & joy.

Extra For Experts:
V-Day
AADVARC
RAINN
After Silence
Male survivors
Effects of rape & aftermath from Wikipedia.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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The Power Of Eyebrows

[ 28 September 2007, 16:06 ]

Yesterday was pretty exciting, as days go! In addition to hot air ballooning in the morning & getting my ears pierced (!!!), I also had my eyebrows professionally shaped.

I haven’t had my eyebrows done by anyone else since the first time I had them tweezed, which was when I was about 15. That’s a long time ago now! I’d been thinking about the power of eyebrows for a while — I am keen on a strong brow & wondered what a professional could do to my face.

I had heard really great things about Afnaan from the Vogue forums, so I emailed her & booked an appointment. Then there were two weeks of torment as I let my eyebrows grow out. The temptation to pluck was overwhelming, but somehow I managed to hold back!

You can only imagine how happy I was to be running across the road to Arch Enemy, Afnaan’s business! I sat in the chair & she started explaining what she was going to do, & how. She made astute observations, like, “One of your eyebrows is a little higher than the other” — which I had never even noticed! Eep! Then we embarked on the eyebrow grooming. She tinted my brows, waxed them & finally tweezed them. I sat in the chair from 1:45 to 3:00 & when she finished, I was THRILLED.

The shape is actually quite different to how I normally do my brows — I tend to make my arch quite severe, while the way Afnaan has done it means the shape is softer & it has really changed how my face looks.

One of my very first articles, The New Eyebrow, is all about how important eyebrows are to your face. They grow in all sorts of unusual ways, & can completely alter your appearance — for better or for worse! Having them shaped or tended to is definitely worth investigating, I promise you will be astounded at the difference. We all spend so much money on cleanser & moisturiser & makeup, but the number of women (& men especially) who don’t give their eyebrows a second thought is mind-boggling!

This morning I received an email from an iCiNG reader who had seen Afnaan’s details on Gala’s Guide To Melbourne, & also booked an appointment…

“I am totally in love with her and want to have her babies – my eyebrows have never looked this amazing (I have really unruly strawberry blonde brows) now they are slightly darker, and look like MODEL eyebrows. HOT!”

Do you need any further convincing? I didn’t think so. Run, don’t walk, to your nearest eyebrow specialist, & enjoy!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Winter Style 2007

[ 25 September 2007, 12:00 ]

I’m a bit sad to be in the southern hemisphere right now, because while I love summer, nothing in-store is really thrilling me too much. The rest of you, though, are in luck, because there are some wonderful things available to buy. I can’t stop thinking about it. When it comes to style, winter has summer beat. It’s an awful truth.

Here are some things I’d be wearing if I was in, say, New York. (Swoon.)

A brightly coloured obi belt with simple black ensembles. A turquoise & gold obi would look amazing over a simple black sweater, & a red butterfly obi would be fantastic atop a casual black dress.

Oversized men’s style cashmere sweaters worn with everything. They always come in wonderful colours, like deep black, royal purple, crimson & navy blue. Very warm & very chic, roll the sleeves up for maximum style points. Try to get one which fits your shoulders but is long enough to wear as a dress. You can wear them with kilts, jeans, long skirts or shorts with stockings underneath.

Shirt dresses worn over stockings with heels. Wear with layers so that you stay warm enough — a thin wool sweater underneath, woolen stockings & a scarf should keep you pretty toasty. I love shirt dresses because they’re so effortless.

A maxi skirt with everything. Given that a maxi skirt is big & long, you need to be careful about the proportion so you don’t look like a swamp monster or moving tent. Wear with a fitted t-shirt or anything that is well-tailored to your top half. You might then want to balance that out with big bangles or hair so don’t just look like a teeny person in a huge skirt!

Doctor’s bags will ALWAYS be cool to me, but they have recently come back into style. Zac Posen recently released the Aurora frame bag which makes me salivate, just a little. But at almost £1000, I suggest browsing Ebay for a genuine vintage doctor’s bag instead!

Bright leather gloves. These are definitely worth snapping up while they’re on offer, because it won’t last. Normally gloves come in black or brown & that’s it. This season, you’ll see electric blue, vibrant yellow & cherry red among others. There will also be a variety of lengths, with many of them reaching past the elbow. Ooh la la! Keep your eye out for fingerless & driving gloves with beautiful details, too.

A good belted trenchcoat. Truly, this is the best sort of coat to own in winter. If you can wear it with wool stockings & high heels, so much the better, since it will emphasise your figure & make you look sexy & sleek.

Sequins. While normally a bit disco reminiscent, you’ll see a fair bit of it around. It’s definitely a trend to be embraced! To avoid looking like everyone else, I suggest vintage shopping & browsing Ebay to find unusual pieces — a pink sequinned tuxedo jacket, for example, or a turquoise mermaid-esque mini. Wear with all black or luxe-sport pieces to dress it down for everyday.

Luxe-sport in general. I really like this trend. If you don’t know what it is, it’s basically ‘cool’ sportswear (say the Stella McCartney for Adidas range) mixed with high-end pieces. The end result is ultra-modern & more than slightly space-age. Worth experimenting with!

I’d be really keen to see men & women dressed like old fashioned writers, in white undershirts with braces holding up their grey pants, & glorious hats! Though I don’t know if anyone will oblige me… !

What will you be wearing this winter?

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Corset Remix

[ 5 September 2007, 00:48 ]

The other day, a friend & I were discussing our old gothic predilections. It turned out we were both harbouring corsets in our closets, but since we both felt like we had moved past our old style, didn’t really know what to do with them. Corsets, especially the good ones, tend to be really expensive & some of them are gorgeous pieces of work. Too precious to throw out or give away, but too ‘goth’ to wear.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I realised there was a middle ground.

If you, like us, are in a similar situation, try these suggestions…

Wear your corset over a dress for added structure, fanciness & a super-cinched waist. This is an especially good way to wear a dress that normally isn’t too flattering or you or doesn’t showcase your shape! Try your corset over all types of dresses: you’ll be surprised at how often it works. Vintage dresses, silk sundresses, little black dresses…

If you want to retain the attitude of a good corset, sling it over the top of a crisp white shirt (with puff sleeves, perhaps?), a skinny black tie & a black high-waisted pencil skirt. Add seamed stockings & killer heels into the mix, & with cat’s eye glasses & your hair in a bun you’re ready to dish out some discipline!

...Or for a slightly less rigid look, put it over the aforementioned crisp white shirt & pair with your favourite jeans.

A corset is a fantastic addition to any garment which doesn’t have a lot of shape. Think of it as a big belt! See Lisa’s outfit for an example of how you can pull this off effectively. (Ahh, I love her, she’s so cute!)

Wear your (overbust) corset underneath a blazer with a slinky skirt. Only do up a couple of the blazer’s buttons for sex appeal plus plus!

But if you absolutely cannot fathom wearing your corset again — Chartreuse memories, perhaps, or maybe it just doesn’t fit any more — you can always have it framed or hang it above your bed as a gorgeous installation piece. I’m picturing it undone with the laces flying behind it…

Happy tight-lacing!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Happy Birthday Betty Dodson!

[ 24 August 2007, 12:42 ]

Legendary sex educator Betty Dodson turns 78 today! Happy birthday, you fabulous vixen!

“Much of her fame has come from her work not only advocating masturbation, but conducting workshops for more than 30 years in which groups of about 10 or more women would talk, explore their own bodies, and masturbate together. She hosted a public access cable television program in New York City in the early 70’s, and conducted her workshop – a dozen or so nude women discussing and practicing masturbation – on TV.”
(From her Wikipedia page)

In fact, Betty kept doing these workshops… even after she had a hip replacement! Now THAT is devotion to a cause!

In honour of this incredible woman’s birthday, it seems only reasonable that we celebrate in a way that would make her proud! Here are some suggestions…

Buy Betty’s best-selling book, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving. If you own it already, re-read it & get into it! Have a read (or a listen) to this interview between Betty & Dr Lori Buckley — who, from the transcript, sounds like the most enthusiastic person on the face of the planet! (It’s a good read.)

Put the internet to good use, & read websites by knowledgable, vivacious (& good-lookin’) sex experts! I love Violet Blue & Tristan Taormino — they are both accomplished authors with scores of books for you to work your way through. (Here are Violet’s books & these are Tristan’s.) Their websites are valuable resources for sex education, with tutorials, advice & links galore — & throw ‘em a little money, why don’t you?

Be kind to your lover with a deliciously scented massage. Lush Cosmetics make fabulous massage bars — my favourites are Soft Coeur & Mange Too. They’re made with cocoa butter, so they melt easily. Warm them up in your hands before rubbing onto the skin of a willing participant & improving their day! (Be careful to store them somewhere cool, though… the windowsill or bathroom counter are not recommended!)

Buy something a little risque or shocking! Coco De Mer is an incredible boutique with real treasures for the adventurous. They even have suggestions for use for all of their items, which is brilliant. My favourite Coco de Mer products are the “teach me a lesson” ruler (hot!) & this blindfold which proclaims, “freedom is choosing whose slave you want to be”. Hmmm… ! I am also keen on the flutterby, these pearls (which you probably shouldn’t wear around your neck) & this crystal & leather whip. Ooh la la!

Seduce yourself. Take a bath, eat some ice-cream, get a manicure, wear your favourite dress, make “come hither” faces at yourself in the mirror or get more hands on! Then flick Betty an email & tell her how much you appreciate her life’s work…

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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American Apparel For Summer 07

[ 21 August 2007, 16:36 ]

In celebration of the fact that American Apparel recently opened their Australian outlet (YAY!), here are some of their pieces that I am dying to own this summer…

The baby rib cross-back dress looks to be the perfect summer item. If you can only buy one thing for the warm weather, make it this. I was SO excited when I first saw this on the site, it’s a fabulous length with a beautiful cross-over back & I want to have its babies. Truly! I really advocate wearing dresses when the weather is warm, because they’re just so simple. You can wear them alone or style them mercilessly! This dress — which comes in black, white, cranberry, lemon & navy (soon) — could be worn with sandals, sunglasses & a headscarf or dressed up with a little ballerina-wrap cardigan & stilettos. I intend to wear it both ways, with some surprising twists to boot!

The interlock wrap dress is another perfect dress. Classic & chic, every woman should own a wrap dress. No more “I can’t dress myself” days! I like it in navy, the colour is rich & inky, but it also comes in black, cream, brown, eggplant, purple & asphalt. They’re also about to bring it out in size x-large, which is great news for curvy vixens! Again, this is so simple to wear. Hallelujah! I want to wear it with a turban & platform boots & lots of bangles…

I love the jersey short sleeve t-shirt leotard (phew, try saying that 3 times quickly), though I didn’t at first. It reminds me of bodysuits from the early 90s & there is no way I’d wear it on its own — I’m not that confident! (I bet Cory Kennedy could pull it off, though!) However, an item like this is a TOTAL blessing for us long-torsoed ladies! I have so many cardigans & t-shirts which aren’t long enough in the body for me, & while I like my stomach, sometimes I don’t want to show it off. This is the item for those days. Wear it under a dress, with jeans & a cardigan, a high-waisted skirt or with a maxi-skirt if you’re in the mood for a bit of “ballet teacher chic”!

The jersey double u-neck dress is soooo sexy & comes in a rainbow selection of colours. It has a low back & is quite short, so is brilliant for girls with glorious gams! If you’re not sure about wearing it as a dress (since it does look quite short), use it as a layering piece over a vintage slip or jeans, wear it with a long cardigan or coat & major heels. Try it with legwarmers & a man’s business shirt. You get the picture! To look super-slim, buy it in a darker colour & thank me later!

I love grey, relaxed pieces, & the tri-blend short sleeve women’s track t is no exception. It looks so soft, I just want to curl up with it. It’s the sort of thing that is always going to get a lot of wear, since it’s so basic & will complement practically everything in your wardrobe. Put it with extreme fashion items — it’s like adding a dash of yoghurt to a hot curry. The juxtaposition will temper the flavour of your super-stylish piece & make it look even better. Try it with a pencil skirt, a leopard-print mini or cute shorts. I promise you’ll wear it to death!

Black lamé leggings make the world go round! They are SO Catwoman! I don’t think I need to convince you any further. Buy them NOW!

Ooh la la! Je te presente the figure skater dress. On first look, I didn’t like this much, but the more I consider it, the more it grows on me. The cut at the back is super-flattering & I love the way it moves. I like it in black, shiny violet (!) & magenta, phew! The best thing is reading the comments from all the women who’ve bought it — they all seem THRILLED with their purchase & say that the dress makes them feel sexy & sassy. You’d be hard-pressed to get a better review than that…

I am also rather keen on the jersey racerback tank dress, especially in black, royal blue & teal. It looks like it has quite a loose cut, so if you want to make the most of your waist, chuck a belt around the middle or wear a short cardigan buttoned up to create a super-femme shape! Other than the wide cut, I can’t fault this, it’s lovely & perfect… though it would be nice to see it in white! I could incorporate it into my faux tennis chic!

I’m so excited about shedding some of these cumbersome layers for summer, I can’t even begin to tell you! Glee to the max!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Summer Is Coming!

[ 17 August 2007, 22:11 ]

Three outfits I would love to wear this summer…

Amanda Lepore t-shirt, acid wash denim shorts (Lux), suspenders (Savile Row), black straw fedora, 24k plastic tote bag (Betseyville), crystal & lucite heart necklace (Tarina Tarantino) & red patent leather open-toe heels (rsvp).

Polka-dot open-back dress (Urban Outfitters), Merri heels (Betsey Johnson), glow in the dark skeleton backpack (Hot Topic), heart sunglasses, green heart necklace, silver heart lockets & grey knit hoodie (all from Delia*s).

Polka-dot halter dress (Betsey Johnson), Russian naval officer’s ushanka hat, coquine pink satin slingbacks (Christian Louboutin).

I would surely be the cutest thing this side of the equator.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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O Magazine & Ellen Barkin

[ 15 August 2007, 11:32 ]

I recently bought a copy of O magazine‘s July issue, because my girl Violet Blue had written a piece about porn for women & I was delighted for her!

While normally it’s not a magazine I would even flick through, I was pleasantly surprised by the content within. It was juicy, it had substance. It didn’t talk down to its readership & I felt like my $10.95 AU had been well-spent.

Well, I felt that way until I turned to page 206 & started reading a piece on Ellen Barkin, an actress who recently appeared in Ocean’s Thirteen. The article starts with an explanation of how she dislikes looking at herself in the mirror while she refers to herself as an “old lady”. We then hear about her beauty routine & how she’d like to gain seven pounds.

Finally, we reach this.

To say I was disappointed by this list is the understatement of the century. Some of this is a little hard to swallow.

“Don’t wear hats, except to keep the sun off your face. A hat makes you look as if you’re trying to get noticed.”

What exactly is she trying to say here? That women over 50 should cover up & shuffle down the street as if invisible? That once you hit your 50th birthday, your time in the spotlight is over? Time to eat at the early-bird special, grab your Zimmer frame & don orthopaedic shoes?

There are plenty of super-sexy, strong, wonderful role models who are over the age of 50. Like, for example, Helen Mirren, Catherine Deneuve, Sophia Loren, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton, Meryl Streep & Goldie Hawn... & hell, even Madonna (my new role model) will be 50 in a year’s time! Plenty of them have hair longer than their collarbone, wear red lipstick & (heaven forbid!) show off their knees!

I know that writing is easier when it’s prescriptive, & I know that a lot of people just want to be told what to do, but it doesn’t make for very positive, inclusive reading, nor does it empower anyone particularly.

I expected something a little more age positive from O magazine. Here’s my take on the assignment.

Gala’s 10 Rules For Everyone

1. Accept yourself. Now. As you are. In all your wonderful imperfection, with all your delicious flaws, regardless of past failure or pain. Stop delaying approval of yourself. You will not be a better (or worse) person when you’ve made your first million, or when you have legions of screaming fans, or when you have a baby. Love yourself now. Forgive yourself now.

2. Take care of yourself — whatever that means to you. From buying a pet to going for long walks with your best friends; from getting a weekly manicure to leaving your abusive partner. You deserve it — & you deserve to feel good.

3. Assert your sexuality. You don’t just choose an orientation & that’s the end of it. Things change! Go with your whims! Buy toys, read manuals, learn tantra, do whatever you want to do. It will keep you youthful, as well as making life more fun.

4. Put the same effort into developing your personal style as most other people put into following trends. In a few years time, when you have a wardrobe full of incredible coats, beautiful shoes & mind-boggling jewellery — & everyone else only has “basics” & recent trends to work from — you will thank me!

5. Develop a strong enough sense of self that you are truly living your own life. Have faith in yourself, believe in yourself, even when your spouse/parents/friends are telling you to go in the opposite direction. At the same time, stay fluid, stay open, or you’ll stagnate. Keep pushing, keep questioning. We stop growing as people when we stop asking questions.

6. Be good to people. Take the moral high-ground. Resist the urge to “get revenge”. Avoid gossip. “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, & you help them to become what they are capable of becoming.” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.)

7. Take risks. Change your hairstyle, date someone younger, buy a fabulous sports car, move to Paris, open a bakery, make new friends! Take responsibility for your life, your circumstances, your choices. It is not anyone else’s fault.

8. Shirk that boring obligation to wear ‘appropriate’ clothing. Everyone looks better when they feel good in what they have on their back. Wear a ballgown to the supermarket & a suit to the baseball if it makes you happy!

9. Learn from the best. Take makeup lessons, see a personal stylist, ask your hairdresser the best way to blowdry your hair & watch your manicurist carefully. Even if you don’t do these things professionally, there is no reason why you shouldn’t benefit from their experience.

10. Smile. Be grateful for what you have. Appreciate your life.

Extra For Experts:
What’s Sexy About Women Over 50? from match.com
Why Women Over 50 Love Their Age from WebMD
Over 50 and single? Rediscover your sexy side from msnbc
Porn’s New Focus: Over-50 Crowd from the San Diego Tribune
Fashion Over 50 from about.com

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Nu Rave

[ 13 August 2007, 13:07 ]

“Recently I’ve been becoming really enticed by this season’s “new rave” trend, as I love bright colours and weird patterns but I don’t have a clue how to go about dressing myself in lurid, dayglow colours without looking like a clown!”

The Nu Rave look is tricky to pull off, since I feel quite strongly that neon colours were probably never created with the intent of people splashing them onto clothes. When you think about it, garish green, shocking pink, eye-watering yellow & brain-crushing orange don’t really go with anyone’s skin tone. I mean, yes, it can be worn, but it’s not neccessarily flattering.

However, cautionary tale aside, obviously you want to pick up on the trend, so here are some ways to do it!

Secret Genius Tip
I think the way to master the “nu rave” look is to imagine you’re a senior citizen, & you’ve just caught the bus to Atlantic City to do some gambling for the weekend. However, while you were packing, your cruel grandchild spiked your tea with psychedelics. Now: dress accordingly.

Try to keep neon colours away from your face as much as you can. It’s really easy to look washed-out or ill if you’re wearing the wrong colour under your chin.

Those House of Holland t-shirts have been a huge hit & sell for a keen price on Ebay. Chain stores have picked up on the trend & you can now buy a knock-off for a pittance. Over here in Australia, Supre has a whole lot of white t-shirts with “BAD HAIR DAY” & “LOVE YOU LONG TIME” printed in neon green. If you’re not sure how long the trend (or your interest in it) will last, going for one of these cheaper, “gateway” items might be your best bet.

On your bottom half, try wearing colourful leggings, skinny jeans in sky blue or lime green, or a bubble skirt with crazy stockings underneath. Ksubi (pictured above) have an incredible range of wild skinny jeans, & Urban Outfitters have skinny jeans in fuschia, green & blue.

As always, colourful accessories are the way to go. Buy some crazy platform sneakers or cheap fake Converse & cover them with paint & sequins & gee-gaws. Buy a plain tote & spray a stencil on the side in hot pink paint. Load up on colourful jewellery, neon wigs & silly sunglasses. Paint your nails white or neon.

I had a look around Patricia Field’s online shop &, other than having a huge crush on her, I discovered she sells a whole lot of things which will supplement your look. For example:

Sequinned visor, $22, in a huge range of colours.

Mighty Fine retro Bambi t-shirt, $36. I looooove this.

High waist sequin shorts, $74. (Okay, not strictly nu rave, but totally hot nonetheless.)

Neon splatter sunglasses, $16, & again, a huge range of colours.

Tripp zebra tunic minidress, $48. (Not strictly nu rave either, but you could rock it.)

Timmy Woods lip purse, $250 & worth every CENT goddamnit. It’s SO Amanda Lepore.

Psychedelic Daisy t-shirt, $36. Very easy to wear.

Bling sequin “fanny pack” (bum bag), $24, every colour under the sunnnnn.

For the brave (& those well-acquainted with an eyeshadow brush), my friend Sophie (right) rocks this neon rainbow makeup like it was designed for her. I think she looks AMAZING. Might be something to try!

Finally, something from the Urban Dictionary...

“Nu Rave is when rich young children ‘rave’ in a licensed venue, listening to average indie pop bands who call themselves Nu Rave to get the rich young kids to buy their records and make them and their record companies/the venues money.

“Hey Ollie are you coming to Koko Nu Rave night tonight, it’ll be jolly good fun. We can buy GLOWSTICKS and wear colourful trousers and act all kerayzeeeeeee, then we can come back to mine and get Jeeves to russle us up a couple of VODKA AND TONICS!..... man”“

Wink wink, nudge nudge! Have fun!

Extra For Experts:
Poprave Blog is an awesome blog designed for followers of nu rave culture, with recommendations for clothing, shoes, vinyl toys & all manner of ridiculousness.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Frilly Knickers

[ 7 August 2007, 15:56 ]

Last night I went to a lingerie show in a fabulous art deco-style bar. It was quite odd — not at all what I expected, more like a burlesque show than anything else — but it got me thinking about the way lingerie makes you feel. The good stuff can make you feel amazing, while conversely there’s nothing quite as depressing as a pair of faded knickers with the elastic coming out.

Underwear shopping can be great fun, & it’s even better, once you’ve bought it, to parade it in front of your lover or other unsuspecting victim. I suggest sitting them down somewhere — in your house, not a fast food restaurant — putting on some lusty tune (I like Gloria Lewis by Kyuss) & removing your clothes to reveal your newest lacy tidbit. Obviously, this technique is not to everyone’s taste — sometimes it’s good to just run into the living room wearing your new panties, yell something, & run out again. It’s up to you.

When it comes to actually purchasing the stuff, in my opinion, you should always spend as much as you can on bras — primarily because once your boobs start to sag, there is nowhere for them to go but DOWN... & we don’t want that! We have the technology, so make the most of it! Make sure you get your bras FITTED by an old woman with a measuring tape. Don’t be nervous or weirded out, she’s seen it all before! I also suggest trotting along during period week & buying one specifically for that time of the month, since so many women’s boobs change shape during that week. I am perhaps extra-cautious but I like to get EVERY bra properly fitted, & I always ask them to adjust the straps for me. I would just rather they did it — they’re the experts, after all. It’s not that I relish the interactions with the women who do it, it’s just important to me that my boobs are well-supported & I’m in the right size.

It is estimated that between 80-85% of women are wearing the WRONG SIZE BRA! The horror! If you’re wearing bad or inappropriate underwear, you could be wearing Dior & look like Quasimodo. Ill-fitting bras can give you a hugely unflattering line around your back, give the appearance of sagginess or cause the dreaded four-boob. (“No! Not the Dreaded Four-Boob! Anything but that!”) For proof of how much better a good bra can make you look, check out these fabulous bra makeovers by Oprah — what an incredible difference! So, cherish your bosoms & deck ‘em out with lace, beautiful fabrics & bows. That’s an order!

One thing you should always think about when you’re buying underwear is how it will look under clothes. If you can’t imagine it, then while you’re still in the changing room, throw your dress back on & have a look. (Don’t forget to take it off & pay for it!) There is some really cute stuff out there, like ruffle-butt or side-tie panties for example, which under clothing looks WRONG. All lumpy & weird, causing a “hey, my butt doesn’t normally look like that!” situation. The same goes for bras. I have some which are beautiful but have a bow on the top of the cup, making me look, in clothing, as if my nipples are severely displaced. Beware the perils of the badly-placed bow! Yarrrr!

While I strongly endorse boosting the economy while simultaneously boosting your bust, I am a total sucker for cheap underpants. (Knickers. “Panties”. Whatever.) I used to go to the children’s department of this chain store in New Zealand called The Warehouse (classy, no?) & buy all manner of knickers for about $1.79 a pop. It made me SO happy. It was cheaper than a bottle of soft drink, for crying out loud. Hard to argue with that! I had yellow ones with blue glittery polka-dots, striped ones (piratey, arrr!), some with a glittery teacup on the hip & one with a crown at the front. Love. Of course, at $1.79, they didn’t last long… but still, I am mad for fun, colourful, inexpensive knickers.

Here are my lingerie commandments. Live it! Learn it!

Always have thy brassieres fitted to you — fear not old women with measuring tapes;

Appraiseth ye olde visible panty-line scenario before purchase;

Boost the economy while boosting your bosom;

Stocketh uppeth on cute, cheap knickers;

Bid a tender farewell to ye olde, faded, stretched-out of shape undergarments.

These are some garments which I would be more than happy to wear under my clothes — or in some cases, instead of.

Anything by Agent Provocateur is pretty hard to say “no” to. This style is called Cookie, & as you can see, it is absolutely gorgeous.

I am also crazy about Etta...

& Gwendoline.

For those of us who aren’t quite pimping enough to deck our halls with boughs of Agent Provocateur, here are some sweet little pieces that shouldn’t break the bank!

Silk stripe knickers by Topshop — “...with a silk square in front pouch to write a personalised message”. £30. Strange, yes. I’m trying to think of an efficient use of that message space. It’s your lucky day? Welcome!? Boo!?

Sparkle & fade silk chiffon slip from Urban Outfitters. $19.99! This would look great with a vintage t-shirt over the top or with a long cardigan & big boots. I adore the colour.

Daisy Duck t-shirt also from Urban Outfitters… A nice rendition of the Kubrick ‘Lolita’ cover! Yay! Not strictly lingerie, but shhhh. I wish it wasn’t socially unacceptable to just wear underpants & a t-shirt in public, I think it’s about the cutest thing ever.

Do you have any secret, favourite online sources for great underoos? Share the knicker love!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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The Fashionable Jew

[ 15 July 2007, 21:39 ]

“I’ve read a bunch of advice you gave and was wondering if you could apply your great wisdom to my case too. I love fashion and style, and I wish I could muster the courage to wear some really cool attention grabbing outfit… I am in tenth grade and wear a long (floor length) denim skirt with a black T-shirt just about every day. I have to abide by some rather strict religious rules with regard to dress – not just at school, everywhere. (The rules: no pants, nothing tight or revealing, shirts up to the collar bone and past the elbows, absolutely no exposed midriff, skirts past the knee, no visible underwear, nothing transparent or too sexy in general.) I was wondering if you could help me get out of my rut, or if I should just resort to wearing a burka. I would be eternally grateful… I am a [modern] Orthodox Jew (not Ultra-Orthodox) and I live in Israel, where — according to a relative of my mother — fashion is more extreme: either very racy and immodest or very dowdy and frumpy. But if you manage to think of cool outfits that are modest enough for me I’m sure I’ll find equivalents locally.”

This cry for help was a true test of my abilities! I’ve never been to the Middle East & I have very little knowledge of Judaism, so here goes! Most of what I have written is in accordance with Tzniut. Please know that I have tried my hardest & my intention in writing this was not to insult anyone, but instead to give a girl some style hope!

I recognise that Jewish women are not the only people in the world with restrictions placed on their dress by religion, & I hope that any of you in a similar position will be able to use this article as a springboard for your own appearance! Alright, without further ado…

Hello, my sweet! Thank you for writing & I’m sorry it has taken me so long to put this together.

Really, I think the best way to approach this is to work with the things you’ve got, rather than focussing on the limits you have. Thinking about restrictions all the time is very boring & tiring, so let’s accentuate the positive!

Take your hair, for example. You can do, literally, thousands of things with it. Colour it, have it cut, give yourself a mohawk if you can get away with it. Pull it back from your face & pin some big, sparkly brooches into your hair — say three stars (one on either side of your head & one on the top, charmingly askew) or a rose. Even if you’re wearing all black, a bit of glamour in the hair will cause you to dazzle everyone in the room! Tease your hair up into a wild bird’s nest & stick feathers in it. On days when you can’t be bothered with your hair, throw a brightly-coloured silk scarf over your head, or tie it up into a (fashion) turban.

Buy up vintage t-shirts on Ebay. If you buy men’s shirts in the same size that you are (a men’s small if you’re a small in women’s clothing, etc.) — that way they won’t be tight or too clingy. You can buy all sorts of crazy shirts, featuring anything from Mickey Mouse to World’s Biggest Ball Of String. Wear a thin hooded sweatshirt underneath & pull the hood up through the t-shirt’s collar, so it flops back behind you. Alternatively, throw a cardigan over the top, even one with 3/4 sleeves should do. Short little cardigans that end at the waist are super-adorable, while a cardigan which ends at the hip is really wearable, & a long cardigan is great for hiding in or bundling up on cold days. You can always push the sleeves up a little bit if you want to show your wrists, or if you have bracelet mania like me!

Try piling your wrists with bangles in any colour scheme you like. I’m nutty about clear lucite bangles at the moment, but you can buy AMAZING vintage bangles on Ebay. I especially like stumbling across people selling collections of red bakelite bracelets, they’re beautiful. (Just look on Ebay for bakelite bangle or bracelet.) Wear them all the way almost up to your elbow & remember that if you have skinny arms you should wear big bangles, while you should wear fine ones if your arm is bigger.

Try a knee-length skirt with striped stockings & mary janes, or a floor-length skirt with combat boots. Mary-Kate Olsen (above) has been rocking an ankle-length black silk skirt & gladiator sandles recently & it looks gorgeous. You could also try doing a femme Karl Lagerfeld kind of look, which would be ultra-cute. Wear a starched white shirt, fingerless leather gloves, a long black skirt, a belt & sunglasses.

Accessories are really going to be the best way to differentiate yourself from everyone else, so start buying them up! Go for unusual things. Often you can buy entire estate lots of jewellery on Ebay. You’ll end up with a LOT of very interesting pieces, & the stuff you don’t like you can give away or resell. I love choker necklaces, big dangly earrings & weird clip-ons, bracelets galore & antique rings.

There are so many small things you can do to spice up a plain outfit. Brooches are brilliant for this. Have a friend buy you some in another country, borrow them from your favourite relatives or source them from strange little second-hand shops. They tell fabulous stories. Try changing the buttons on your cardigan, jacket or shirt — you could go for big, brassy, military-type buttons or cute novelty ones. I once saw purple rollerskate buttons, they were incredibly cool. Belts are fantastic too — wear one around your waist like a big bow or slung around your hips. I love pyramid-studded belts worn over floor-length skirts, I think the contrast looks gorgeous.

Buy huge sunglasses which make you look as if you’re on the run from the paparazzi! They add instant glamour to any outfit.

Make-up is every woman’s best weapon. Learn how to use it! You can go for the natural look or impersonate Elvira as it suits you. Play around with it, create a signature look which makes you feel magnificent.

Finally, you can always take a hint from the 80’s. When women first started entering the corporate “man’s” world, they thought that in order to compete they had to almost disguise themselves as men. The “power suit” was a big, boxy look, further emphasised by shoulder-pads. Thankfully, today, most women realise that they have just as much power by allowing themselves to be women, but at the time, a lot of women wore beautiful lingerie underneath their big man suits to help them retain feelings of femininity. No one has to know, it can be your little secret!

Good luck!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Irregular Choice Shoes I Love & The Imaginary People Who Wear Them

[ 10 July 2007, 12:42 ]

Jo Jo
The woman who loves the Jo Jo ankle boot/sandal could be described as a modern-day, Harajuku-obsessed, discotheque-loving Marie Antoinette. She loves her pastel-coloured frippery but isn’t afraid to team it up with avant-garde pieces. She would wear these shoes out dancing, with a huge powdered wig, a beauty spot & a short turquoise babydoll dress over bloomers & holographic leggings. Her favourite thing to do is take Japanese sticker-booth pictures with friends after a night out. She screams with delight whenever anyone smiles at her & she uses an enormous feather quill to take notes in her marketing lectures.

Spik & Span
This girl has long, straight, pale pink hair & an eyelash-skimming fringe. She walks slowly & enjoys reciting poems by Yoko Ono verbatim. She wears these sandals with a pair of loose trousers & a pink & white striped halterneck top. She works in an art gallery & speaks so quietly barely anyone can hear her. She is most happy when caught in the rain without an umbrella, or when attempting to decipher her cat’s purring.

La Isla (green & black)
These are the heels of choice for an off-duty, cigar-smoking ballet teacher. She wears them to the Sunday markets, with dark grey jeans, a pale yellow vintage Beach Boys t-shirt & a royal blue, you guessed it, ballerina wrap cardigan. She grits her cigar stub between yellow-stained teeth as she smiles at the man who sells her radishes, then pirouettes off down the street.

Fish Out Of Water (black)
Worn by a Pisces with wavy mermaid hair, these gorrrrrgeous ankle boots get her from the swimming pool to the art studio & back again. She wears these with a black, shin-length skirt, lots of gold bangles & a slate-blue camisole beneath a half-buttoned white shirt (sleeves rolled up, of course). She constantly tucks her hair behind her ears & has a pair of blue, goldfish-embossed chopsticks with which she offers other people a bite of her favourite lunch, sushi.

Quilted
Hermes, Greek god, wore winged boots to get him from place to place. In keeping with this fine theme, the woman wearing these boots would also wear an Hermes scarf tied around her head — along with a fitted, short black motorcycle jacket, black shorts & stockings, & an Obi belt in pink & gold.

Pixie
This is a great shoe for boys. I love its pointy toe & that very casual buckle curled around the outside. The red stitching draws attention to the contours of the shoe, which is actually pretty shapely for a “pixie shoe”. I can picture a boy like Patrick Wolf (drool) wearing these. He’d wear them with a pair of tightly-pegged pants, finishing just below the knee, perhaps playing the lute in a forest somewhere, slugging whiskey from an engraved silver hip-flask & kissing other sweet elfin boys… Okay, I’ll stop there.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Long Distance Love

[ 7 July 2007, 12:17 ]

Having a long-distance lover can be one of the most exciting things ever, or it can be one of the most heart-rending experiences of your life… & sometimes both at the same time.

The weird, sad truth is that until you spend copious amounts of time together (by which I mean, for example, 9 consecutive days, rather than 6 months of seeing each other for two days at a time), you’ll never really know how well the two of you mesh. I know this might sound a bit cynical, but ANYONE can turn on the charm for two days. It’s the long stretches of time which really tell you what the other person is like. Are they unbearably cranky on Monday mornings? Do they start drinking as soon as they get home on a Wednesday? Until you spend a week in their company, you won’t know.

This is not me trying to dissuade you from engaging in a long-distance love affair; far from it. They can be fabulous (especially if you’re a busy person & don’t feel the need for a ‘full-time’ lover!) — but all I’m saying is, if you decide to move in together, or one of you moves city for the other, please spend at least a week together in a one- or two-bedroom apartment! It will really tell you a lot about how you work together. I think it should be compulsory — a law! But it’s not, so all I can do is advise you to proceed with caution!

Here are the good things about long-distance relationships:
Love letters, pining, anticipation, travel, the total bliss of spending time with someone you’ve been dying to see, having lots to catch up on, long adorable phonecalls, lots of time to do your own thing & be independent, visiting another city & discovering new things, showing your lover around your city & planning cool things to do together.

Here are the bad things:
Long stretches of time alone, never really knowing what the other person is up to (not good if you’re jealous/insecure), the expense of travelling, the time involved in travelling, having to count out pairs of underwear to take with you when you go, packing, the actual travelling, sleeping alone, the feeling of pressure that you have to make the most of the time you have together, wondering what kind of future you could possibly have (& knowing that something will have to change in order for that to happen). Listening to this song & relating to it.

Long-distance love affairs can be fraught with friction. I have had more than my fair share (at least three), so here’s what I can tell you about this strange pathway to romance!

Define your relationship as quickly as possible
I learnt this one the hard way (ouch). If you think you’re a monogamous couple, or you would LIKE to be monogamous with this person, discuss it. I know it might seem a bit scary, & you don’t want to pressure the other person or get on their ‘bad side’ if you bring it up, but your heart is worth more than that! If the person you thought was your girlfriend sleeps with someone else because of some miscommunication, it is going to hurt. Work it out ahead of time. If the other person isn’t receptive to your idea, know that staying with them is probably going to be a rather painful exercise. Only you can determine how much pain you want to feel in your life, so act accordingly!

Stay in contact
Communicate often but try not to obsess… if you can help it! I have had long-distance relationships which ended up taking over my life because my boyfriend & I were so consumed with constantly texting, emailing & calling one another. Remember: you have a life, a career/schooling, your own friends! Try not to neglect these things because you’re glued to your cellphone. Usually in a relationship, the two of you will have different expectations of communication. Do you want to talk on the phone for hours every night, or is that just not practical? Do your best to compromise — maybe have two long phone conversations a week & send email the rest of the time. You can also send packages, letters, plane tickets or flowers.

Remember that your view of them is limited
New relationships are very exciting & often they turn into an insane case of limerence. I often find that long-distance love affairs are even more intense than normal ones, simply because of all the initial stumbling blocks. You never see them for very long, so you never have time to get sick of them. When you do finally see them, you’re both so pumped up that the adrenaline gets you totally high, & then they disappear so the initial thrill is instantly replaced with a feeling of longing. It’s a liiiittle bit unrealistic — not to say that amazing love doesn’t exist, but in real life, everyone has crazy families & irritating workmates & days when they can’t dress themselves. Do your best to keep it in perspective!

Be mindful of the cash you’re spending
Long-distance relationships can be really expensive. Plane tickets & phone-calls start to add up quickly. If one of you is doing all the travelling or making all the phonecalls, it will feel a bit unbalanced & can cause resentment.

Make friends with their friends
Do your best to find things you have in common with their friends. The reason for this is twofold, one of which is slightly sneaky. Reason one: if you’re thinking about moving to be with your new favourite person, you’re going to live a very lonely life if they’re the only person you know. Reason two: if you have any doubts as to their fidelity, being on good terms with their friends means you’re more likely to be privy to any guarded information.

Have your own reasons
If you end up moving city to be closer to them, having your own reasons for moving (other than proximity to them), it will make your transition much smoother. You don’t want “but I moved here for you!” to become a bargaining chip. (I’m reminded of an episode of Sex & The City, where Charlotte, who converts to Judaism, says to her boyfriend, “I gave up Christ for you, & you can’t even give up the Mets?!”. Her boyfriend retorts, “It’s going to be a long life if you keep that up! ‘I gave up Christ for you, take out the trash!’”. You see my point.) If you have a good job & friends in the new city, you will be much happier.

Long-distance romance can be very tough, but if you are both committed to making it work, there’s no reason why it can’t. Of my three long-distance relationships, two of them resulted in one of us moving. The first time I moved, & the relationship lasted five years, & in my most recent one, my boyfriend moved to be with me & then we both moved to Australia. We’re still together & very happy, so never fear, the potential for success is high!

Best of luck to you!

Extra For Experts:
The BBC loves you. Yes indeed.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Have A Great Picnic

[ 3 July 2007, 17:49 ]

“Apparently a recent survey was done where they found that a decline in people’s social values was strongly linked to a decline in the number of picnics they went on! More picnics = a friendlier, more co-operative world!”

While correlation is not the same as causation, receiving the above comment from Annaloren excited me so much that I thought I should write about how to have a great picnic!

Realistically, a picnic can be held anywhere — in a park, up a tree, beside a swimming pool, on a bed or on the floor of the living room — so don’t feel like just because it’s winter (for some of us), you are doomed to be excluded from all the picnic fun! Certainly, there is a great joy to be had from sitting in the sun, birds tweeting in the fresh air, but it is not absolutely necessary. Some of the best picnics happen on a bed, with a good spread of food, a cute person beside you & the rain pelting down outside.

There are, however, some essential elements. These are as follows.

Guests
Humans tend to be the best sort of guest, though if you’re having a particularly trying week, you might prefer to picnic with pets, stuffed animals or a handsome-looking gherkin. Picnics are best if they’re sort of impromptu, so don’t agonise over a “guest list” or anything of the sort. It is best to hold a picnic the day you think of it. Send out a text message to the chosen few, & don’t give too much detail. “Picnic, my place, 3pm, byo treats!”

Food & drink
Without food or drink, your “picnic” will really just be you sitting cross-legged on a rug, twiddling your thumbs; not as thrilling as it sounds. If you have mad kitchen prowess, feel free to wow your friends (pets/stuffed animals/gherkins) with a gorgeous batch of cupcakes, fudge brownies, profiteroles, or a tower of trifle the size of your torso. If not, or you just don’t have the inclination, go & buy something. It’s up to you what you purchase — some picnics you might want to aim for a sugar coma, while others will be more sedate. Some excellent picnic foods include sandwiches with the crusts cut off; corn chips & salsa; salami, cheese & bread; turkish delight & little ice-creams (which of course you should keep in a cooler/chilly bin/eskie).

Depending on your guests & your disposition, you may want to supply alcohol. I would personally be inclined to take a flask of Parfait d’Amour, but that’s just me. Some people will just be happy with beer or wine. A big bottle of Coke or lemonade will usually please everyone (except, uh, diabetics). Remember the cups!

Something to sit on
What you use for this purpose will probably be different depending on the circumstances. Spreading your duvet out on the living room floor is probably acceptable, but taking it to a park may not be. Use your discretion & brain power! I own a tartan rug with a waterproof bottom which folds up & has a handle for easy carrying, which is fantastic! Some people would encourage the use of little folding chairs but I think they’re a bit naff, I’d prefer all my friends squished up cosy on a blanket! (I like this rug very very much.)

Other things you may wish to have at your picnic include an MP3 player with portable speakers, a kite, Twister, candles (citronella if you’re outside) or flowers as decoration, plates & bowls & implements, trashy magazines, a Polaroid (or digital or video) camera, musical instruments, something for boys to kick (by which I mean a ball or hackysack, not a puppy), a portable grill, bubbles (as in soap liquid & a wand, but I guess champagne would be equally welcome), a book of poetry to read aloud, & something warm for when the sun goes down (hats, scarves etc., & if you can take extra then do, because it means your guests will stay longer).

You will, of course, need to devise a picnic outfit. For girls, a long skirt or dress is the ultimate thing. Boys should go for shorts, long socks & Oxford shoes. I had a quick look around & found:
Tea Rose Voile Picnic Shift, super cute.
Ants picnic gingham bag, totally perfect for throwing around & accidentally grass-staining.
‘Soccer moms are hot’ skirt, which I actually totally love even though it is really not my style at all.
Teeth slip dress, yayyy! Bare those gnashers!
Salmon dots reconstructed slip dress, perfect perfect perfect.
Smoky purple vintage slip dress, $18 & size XL!
Trees slip, the ideal thing for lounging beneath the branches.

Everyone should wear HATS, HATS, HATS!
Felt cloche hat, absolutely beautiful.
Polka-dot rockabilly veil hat, I LOVE this so much.
Operetta alice band, totally gorgeous.
Crown cocktail hat... “They say that the European royalty are becoming far less formal these days. That may be true, but just how does one co-ordinate a crown with daywear? Here’s a smart solution! All the royal glamour without those worrisome diamonds and emeralds.”
Fascinator miniature top hat, in a lovely fresh green.
If anyone brings a child, make it wear this! Awww!

Really, you have it made if you’re spending your time with people you like while stuffing your face! Just be sure to remember your sunscreen, & take your rubbish with you!

Extra For Experts:
Erm, picnic skirt anyone?!
Give your guests a cute doggybag of leftovers to take home!
BBC picnic food ideas! (Those Poms know how to do a good picnic.)
Planning a romantic picnic for two, from picnicfun.com.
How to host a picnic, from The Observer. (More Poms!)

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Gala's Guide To Tennis Chic

[ 1 July 2007, 12:59 ]

A good friend of mine, Davide, is in London at the moment. I said to him, “I’m surprised you’re not at Wimbledon, kissing boys in Lacoste polo shirts & getting grass stains on your knees.”

As I get older, tennis seems more & more attractive to me — to me, it is about the most civilised thing I can think of (like golf, except it’s interesting). Mostly I think I want in because I love being surrounded by all those social graces but still getting in there & shaking things up a little bit. I relish the image of strutting in there with my purple hair tied back, wearing a white Lacoste tennis dress, all tattoos & mirth while sipping iced tea!

For girls:
if your hair is long enough it should definitely be pulled back into a ponytail. Girls with their hair pulled back into a classic ponytail always makes me think of school — I went to an Anglican all girls’ school & our hair wasn’t permitted to touch the pristine white collars of our shirts. Anyway, to me, it is very sporty & a bit innocent-looking, which I find quite appealing.

In terms of apparel, of course you can’t go wrong with anything Lacoste. Hit up Ebay for the best stuff, though if you want to buy new, here’s a Lacoste terry headband & matching terry wristband. Really, I’m sure these things have no purpose but they are essential components of tennis chic.

Try wearing a white Lacoste tennis dress with (matching) neon pink underwear or a headscarf & 3/4 leggings in the same colour. Throw on a ballerina-wrap cardigan for when the sun starts setting.

I am a huge, huuuuge fan of the adidas by Stella McCartney range. Here’s a four-piece tennis dress set worn by Maria Kirilenko on the court. I adore it. It’s not in stores anymore but remember, Ebay is your friend!

This is from her newest tennis range. Love that skirt. Isn’t it fabulous?!

In terms of accessories, pile on clear lucite bangles — they go with anything & they’re super-mod. Big sunglasses are very important — whether you go for the huge oval sort, Wayfarers or Ray-Ban aviators, make sure they suit your face shape!

For boys:
In a nod to retro tennis, I am a strong believer that most men should wear a sweatband (à la John McEnroe & Richie Tenenbaum). It’ll keep that ‘fro (or emo combover) out of your eyes & makes you look super-athletic even if on the court you resemble a Thunderbird.

I personally have an insane penchant for the combination of a pastel-coloured polo shirt (sky blue is especially a favourite of mine), toned, tanned arms, wristbands & half-sleeve tattoos. (Think this but with an edge.)

Wear the shortest shorts you can (especially if you’re tall, like Chevy Chase in Fletch — he looks like an emu in his tennis gear, so hot) & allude to having a summer house in the Hamptons.

Here’s Davide’s opinion on tennis chic for boys:

“Wool jumpers over shoulders is fluorescent colours is totally where its at. It makes other people think you are joking and is a great way to show off a good skin day.

The great thing with tennis chic is that it’s super fun and comfortable. Get in character and speak with a funny accent. If feeling super in character stick some tennis socks DOWN YOUR SHORTS. Wearing colours makes one’s day a bit brighter so don’t be scared to match yellow and purple.

Today because it’s gay pride parade (which I wouldnt normally go to but it’s a party in a strange land with some people I know so what the hell, try new things right?), I’m wearing a yellow jumper over a sailor striped polo with jeans and yellow flat dress shoes from Selfridges because it’s coooold. I have a peach coloured scarf to go around my neck. It’s a shame that I naturally look so masculine, because I’d make a great camp sailor.”

For the super-keen:
Start spending time at a country club. Remember to wear pearls & get blitzed on gin & tonics like the rest of them.
Adopt a ridiculous name for the season, like Binty, Muffy or Waldorf Salad The Third.
Go super-retro like these cute kids, in tweed & a newsboy cap.
Carry a bottle of Evian, hire a driver & start dropping tennis-themed sexual innuendo into conversation, e.g., “I’d like to re-string HER racquet…”

Happy serving!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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A Basic Shoe Collection

[ 22 June 2007, 10:49 ]

“I’m currently in the process of trying to expand my shoe collection (on a budget) – but since I can’t afford my every whim (just-graduating-ex-university-student) I’m looking for a a well-rounded shoe collection. Sneakers, heels, flats, boots, sandals, etc… & I was curious to know what you think the ‘basic’ shoes are to have in your closet, before you start fleshing each type out? I know trends change but I mean those timeless basic shoes a girl can fall back on when her partner’s grandma drops by unexpectedly to take them out to dinner… (happened last night, I swear!)”

I guess that really depends on your lifestyle & wardrobe. For years, I subsisted on a few pairs of boots & a couple of pairs of wedges. I would be inclined to say that a good pair of flats are an essential basic, except I loathe them & have decided I just can’t wear them. On the other hand, lots of girls can’t live without their flats, so you know. It’s all up to the individual!

Here are my picks for basic shoes to own: one pair of each.

Sandals
Just because, quite frankly, in summer you’ll die without them. Of course, you can take your pick as to style — some people like a dressy, elegant, evening sandal while others will be perfectly happy with a pair of Haviana flip-flops. I am somewhere in the middle: flip-flops drive me crazy (they’re just not comfortable & I always feel like a slob in them) & I don’t feel like I’m ready for an elegant sandal… but I’ll deal with that next summer!

Boots
For winter, though mine get worn throughout the year. I would recommend going for a classic black or brown boot to at least mid-shin (primarily because if it rains, you’ll want some coverage on your leg). You pick the details — laces, buckles, buttons, high heels, flat soles, platforms, wedges — but I would advise that you go for something simple but good-lookin’. This is your basic shoe collection, right? You can buy fancy fashionable boots some other time. Just buy something that you think you’ll be happy wearing in five years time.

High heels
While you may hardly ever wear them, I think a good pair of black high heels should be mandatory in every woman’s wardrobe. They are the perfect shoe for almost any occasion, & if you don’t have them, you’ll probably find that some outfits just don’t work properly. I recently acquired a gorgeous pair of black heels (more about that later) & have discovered that a lot of my clothing is now MUCH more wearable. Again, you might think heels are an awful torture device, but good ones can actually (gasp!) be comfortable. Buy some of those gel inserts by Scholl’s called “Party Feet“, stick ‘em inside, wear them around the house for days to break them in, & you’re well on your way to owning a pair of perfectly functional shoes. Plus, heels are sexy, but you knew that right? You will be glad you own them, since they’ll take you from a work function to a funeral to a gallery opening with ease.

Sneakers
I’m not convinced that everyone needs sneakers, but they’re certainly a good thing to have. You don’t have to buy ugly ones, no no no. I own two pairs of sneakers. One is a pair of Adidas with blue fun fur & pink velvet detailing (yay!) & the other are a pair of Reebok Ice Creams in blue, pink & yellow. Both pairs are very cute. I don’t wear them often. My Ice Creams are what I wear to the gym & my Adidas are what I used to wear running around Auckland city. However, for some people, ‘sneakers’ will mean Converse or Vans. Think of it as a good, comfortable shoe for days when you don’t feel like dressing up.

So essentially, one pair from each of these categories would, I think, be a good starting point. From there, you can build it up. What do you wear most? If it’s the boots, maybe you can buy a couple more pairs in different styles (or, if you’re silly like me, buy the same pair again except with a big platform affixed to the bottom). If you wear the heels most often, buy some in different colours. You get the idea.

My primary recommendation with shoes, & heels especially, is to spend as much as you possibly can. You only have one pair of feet baby, & if you cram your feet into bad shoes for years, eventually you won’t be able to wear anything but ugly orthopedic flats… & nobody wants that. So take your time when you buy shoes. If you’re not sure whether they fit or not, ask to take them home on appro. Then walk around your house all night to see whether they’re going to kill you or not. A bad pair of heels will really make you miserable, & it’s hard to be happy when your feet hurt — just ask anyone in retail!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Non-Monotonous Summer Dressing

[ 15 June 2007, 10:24 ]

“This is inspired by your post on winter dressing… and your post on T-shirts seems to have anticipated my question, so hopefully you will feel up to tackling my problem, or at least giving me a few links in the right direction. Unlike you lucky people who are moving into winter (my favorite season – seriously!) I am living in Tokyo and things are getting hot and humid very fast. Apart from simply wearing less, do you have any suggestions for dressing for summer? Somehow I am hoping that I can layer things, even though it will probably just make me unbearably hot. I just feel that having a top – say a t-shirt – and a bottom – say a pair of cotton trousers – gets monotonous. Advice? Yoroshiku ne!”

Hello mademoiselle!

Layers are a nice idea but usually pretty impractical in summer, except for in the evenings (if it somehow, miraculously, cools down). As much as I wanted desperately to sling something on over the top of my outfits this summer, it was just too goddamn hot.

Melbourne really heats up in summer, & I was unaccustomed to weather which makes your elbows sweat (seriously!), so this summer was a bit of learning experience for me too. I practically lived in my oversized white bedshirt with shorts, cowboy boots & a headscarf. If not that, then one of these two silk dresses by Kate Sylvester, or vintage slips. Really, anything lightweight is your best friend — big t-shirts, loose dresses, wide-cut pants. Try looking on Ebay for vintage babydoll nighties in bright colours, cool vintage t-shirts & long, sleek skirts.

I think the real key to looking good when you’re not wearing much is to accessorise like mad. Since you don’t have a lot to work with (say a dress versus a shirt, pants & sweater), everything you pick to go with it needs to be a perfect match. It has to add something to the outfit, rather than just chucking it on because “it goes” or you don’t know what else to do.

Take a scarf, for example. (Silk or cotton, not wool!) You can wear it on your head (in about a million ways), around your neck, tied around your upper arm (this works best for gym bunnies), around the handle of your handbag, or around your waist as a makeshift belt. That is just one item which can be worn a multitude of ways. Admittedly, a square of fabric is very versatile, but if you endeavour to think this way about all of your accessories, you’ll really stand out.

Hair accessories are always good (& sometimes you can adapt them slightly & clip them onto your clothes like a brooch), as are lightweight stockings (if you can bear it), fun shawls & crazy shoes. Buy a summer bag in a colour you wear often (or combination of colours), dye your hair blue, stock up on eye-catching jewellery. I know that parasols are big in Japan during summer, why not buy one & dye it yourself?

Of course, you need to play with colour too. White is a fabulous colour for summer since it reflects light (as opposed to black which attracts it). White is beautiful & classic & suits almost everybody. Say you were wearing a plain white cotton sundress. Try playing up the purity of the colour with a huge hot pink flower in your hair, hot pink shoes & a whole lot of jangly bracelets in the same colour. This will really make your outfit pop, as opposed to just being a girl in a dress.

Good luck to you, my darling!

P.S. I also recommend keeping an eye on Tokyomade for Japanese treats & trends!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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The Essential Guide To Dressing For Your Shape

[ 6 June 2007, 12:16 ]

I personally think that whole “pear, apple, triangle, hourglass” stuff is absolute bunk. I’m not ANY of those shapes & nor are most people I know. I have small boobs, broad shoulders, a slim waist, long torso & big thighs. I am not a fruit or something you can study in geometry classes! Really I think it’s just laziness on the part of most fashion writers & it doesn’t do anyone any favours. We need to move away from this antiquated way of thinking! We need to regard each part of our bodies individually & work out how to dress them! Can I get an amen?!

It must be said that this guide is basically about disguising the parts of you you don’t like. While I don’t encourage dissection of one’s flaws (& I wouldn’t see many of the things listed below as being “flaws”), here are some simple ways to hide the parts of you you’re not so keen on. (Acceptance is the next step, wink wink!)

This is a very short piece — the sort of thing you can print out, highlight the parts which apply to you & then chuck it in your bag for whenever you go shopping & get stuck.

Tops

Big boobs: Wear a v-neck top. It may seem counter-intuitive to some that the bane of their life is on display, but quite frankly, if you cover it up, you’re not fooling anyone & it looks awkward. You could also try a scoop neck with detailing around the neckline, which will shift the focus.

Big arms: Try a batwing or fluted sleeve ending just below the biggest part of your arm.

Big belly: Any vertical detailing is your friend, as is anything with a knot-front which rests just over the stomach.

Long torso: Learn to layer! (See this & this!) You can also wear a small item over the top, like a bolero jacket for example, to break up the long lines.

No waist: A ballerina-wrap cardigan will help create an ‘artificial’ waist. Bonus points if it has a diagonal stripe pattern.

Small boobs: Any kind of detailing around the chest will help you out. You can also try playing up something else, like your arms or back, by wearing a sleeveless or backless top.

Trousers

Big booty: Big pockets on the butt will divert attention. A deep waistband will make your bum look half the size, while wide-cut legs will hide a saggy bum.

Short legs: A narrow stripe (or pinstripe) will elongate your leg. No waistband will do the same thing. One trick I often use is to wear trousers where the hem touches the ground — with a high heel on my foot, I look like a giant, & no one knows why!

Big belly: A big waistband will help hold you in. Go for flat-fronted trousers or any which fasten at the side. & if all else fails, wear magic knickers!

Saddlebags: 3/4 pants with a cuff will draw the eye to the bottom half of the leg. Otherwise, try a bootleg, flare or wide-leg cut.

Jackets

Big boobs: Thin lapels & one button at the waist will make you look slim & draw attention to your waist.

Big belly: A small, busy print will help detract from a big stomach — or you can wear something loose.

No waist: Go for something very well-tailored or for a jacket with a single button at the waist.

Saddlebags: A long jacket will cover your saddlebags quite well. Otherwise, a short jacket that ends near the waist will help distract the eye.

Skirts

Big booty: A well-cut pencil skirt will hug your curves & keep your bum perky! A fishtail shape will help even out your proportions, & a fluted, floaty skirt will lead the eye downwards.

Big belly: A wrap skirt can be worn as tight or as loose as you want to accomodate your tummy. Try a skirt with a high waistband to hold you in, then wear a shirt over the top.

Saddlebags: An a-line skirt is your best shape & pretty much foolproof!

Dresses

Big boobs: Try a scooped neckline or a wrap-dress. A wrap will lift & separate while also drawing attention to your waist.

Big arms: A big sleeve or one with a flare is your best bet.

Big belly: Gathering around the stomach area will minimise the area.

Small boobs: Go for a plunging neckline (no one else can wear these) or a backless halter-neck.

Big calves: Wear a dress all the way to the ankle, or one that ends just below the knee.

Wide shoulders: Try a strapless dress (the line will balance you out) or a shirt dress.

Evening Dresses

Big boobs: A strapless dress with excellent support will make you look superb. Those with a youthful décolletage (usually the under 40’s) can get away with a deep v-neck dress.

Big belly: Anything with detailing across the stomach area will help you — a belt, a pattern, sequins etc.

Big arms: A loose draped sleeve will disguise the size of your arm very well, as will a small pattern (rather than a solid colour).

Big hips: The trick is to balance them out. You can do this by wearing an a-line shaped dress or something strapless.

Small boobs: Look for a dress with extra detailing across the bust or something tight — you can always stuff your bra with chicken fillets!

Swimwear

Big boobs: Try a balcony bra style, a halter-neck (for super-duper cleavage) or just make sure your bathing suit has hidden cups or some other kind of support.

Big belly: A one-piece with detail focussed near the waist will make you look much slimmer, while a tankini gives you the option to cover or bare your belly. Some people recommend a strategically-placed sarong, but I don’t think that fools anyone.

Small boobs: If you have small boobs with a great stomach, make that the focus of attention with a simple bikini. If not, you could try a padded halter-neck (this will help you create a cleavage, or at least some kind of illusion) or a top with detail around the bust.

Saddlebags: A bikini which ties at the side will be good on you, because it won’t cut in so much. Try a high-cut leg (will make you look sleeker & slimmer) or a strapless top — the big line will help balance you out. You can also try covering up with a sarong.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Gala's Kissing Boot-Camp

[ 1 June 2007, 10:47 ]

“Now, I was wondering, if, in the near future (or whenever future) you could help out some girls in the kissing department. I’m extremely inexperienced at kissing (going to a Catholic Girls Prep does that to you). Also, I’ve been plagued by recent nightmares of being told by my guy that I kiss like a fish. Please, help me Gala with your wisdom!”

Anyone who says something like that to you isn’t worth your time, honeypie! Give him the boot & then use my tips on your next boyfriend! ;D

The best thing about kissing is that it’s a lot of fun, & you will get better with practice. First of all, you need Kissable Lips — click that for information on scrubs, lip balms, glosses & lipsticks, as well as product recommendations & tricks! Anyway, it is my firm belief that the best kisses are a combination of things: soft lips, small amounts of tongue, good reactions & very little saliva!

Lips
For me, it is mostly about the lips. Some people have hard little mouths, you know, from years of anger or grimacing, & it’s totally unappealing. If you can learn to relax your mouth, you will go far. If this is difficult for you, just imagine that a bee has stung the hell out of your mouth & let it slacken that way.

Tongue
It drives me crazy (& not in a good way!) when someone comes in to kiss you with their tongue straight away. I think you have to work up to that, unless it’s already an insanely passionate moment. Too much tongue is a major moodkiller for me. Also, keep your tongue supple & soft. It’s tricky, because there is a fine line between having a stiff, pointy tongue (ew! It’s like a medical examination!) & having one that lies flat in the other person’s mouth, like a omelette that failed. Ewwwwww. Keep it soft & pliable.

Reactions
It is hard to explain exactly how to kiss someone, since because it’s an activity that requires a partner, what you do will depend on what the other person is doing. Basically, you want to respond in a way that coordinates with what they’re doing. This doesn’t mean do the same thing, or even the opposite, but just try to work with them as much as possible. If, say, they’re nibbling your bottom lip, don’t try & chew on their bottom lip at the same time, it won’t work! Maybe try licking their upper lip while they do this, for example.

Saliva
How much is too much? If you have to ask, you’re probably using too much. No one wants to feel like they’re on Splash Mountain when they’re kissing you! On the flipside, a dry mouth is very unappealing. Wetting your lips quickly with your tongue is best to start with.

Places & positions
I’m quite small so I like to crawl into people’s laps & sit opposite them. This way they are TRAPPED & can’t escape until my lips are satisfied! I am sneaky like that. My first kiss was in a very weird position, I was lying on my back with my head in my boyfriend’s lap & he leaned over & kissed me, so we were kind of… upside down. It was strange! I like to pass the time by kissing in elevators. I also think it’s pretty great to kiss in a weird place, like on a fire escape, in a playground, in the back seat of a car or up a tree, but everyone is different!

“When I kiss ya, ya stay kissed!”

Men
You will do best, in my opinion, if you think like a woman while kissing — soft, delicate & sexy. You can prove your manliness all over the place but not when you’re kissing someone! Additionally, if you think you might be getting some action, please shave your face! Stubble hurts, you know.

Additional tips:
Mouths aren’t the only places you can kiss someone. Try kissing their earlobes (but hold back on the heavy breathing!), their neck or shoulders. (I like rubbing noses sometimes, it’s very intimate & a good precursor to kissing.)
Try (gently) licking the corners of your lover’s mouth. Super-hot.
Kissing is a sloooow activity. It is not a race or a chore! Take your time, enjoy it, be gentle with one another.
You’re in control! If you start to feel uncomfortable or you want to stop, just do it. You are under no obligation to go any further than you already have.
Remember to breathe. Fainting is kind of sexy in the movies, but in real life, not so much.
Move your arms! You can stroke their hair, the sides of their face, their back, their arms or even their booty! Moving your arms will show that you’re really interested & into it. If you don’t move them, the kiss will be more awkward.
Try not to bump teeth. If it happens, just forget about it & move on. The more kissing you do, the more aware of your mouth you will become & soon that problem will be one of the past.
Close your eyes. Or don’t. It is all personal preference… I get freaked out if someone is looking at me while I’m kissing them, but that’s just me.
Move your tongue gently, stroke it against theirs & run it along their lips. Try not to swirl it like a washing machine, or jab it in & out.
Be proactive! Be involved & interested & an active participant.

Questions & Answers
Q: I have a big nose. I don’t want to stab my girlfriend in the eye by mistake. Whatever shall I do?
A: Tilt your head! She will probably tilt hers too, in the opposite direction, & it will all work out brilliantly.

Q: I have a really short tongue & I don’t think it will reach into someone else’s mouth!
A: Hey, me too! What a coincidence. It’s not the end of the world. You might just have to work it a little differently to other people. Practice, baby!

Q: What are the rules on eating garlic/onions/curry/haggis before a smoochfest?
A: Generally avoid it, unless your beloved has partaken of the smelly foods too. Two people with garlic-breath probably won’t even notice it in the other person. (Plus, it’s good protection against vampires.)

Extra For Experts:
“How To Kiss Someone Passionately”
Girls kissing
Emo boys kissing (It’s a fan video or something, so weird)
This looks like an alien life-form but I guess it’s informative, kind of?!
How To Kiss A Woman with lots of fear-inducing anecdotes!
Insanely cute sex writer Violet Blue has this to say on more intimate types of kissing… NSFW!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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"Business Casual"

[ 31 May 2007, 14:39 ]

“I’m sure you’re quite shuddering at the thought of business casual… I, however, am about to graduate and start up year-long fellowship with a non-profit that’s basically a 9-to-5 office job. What would you advise for someone with a limited budget who needs to look professional but still wants to change around her style and look somewhat interesting? As of now, I tend to go with brightly colored basics, graphic t-shirts, and very few accessories… I’d love to hear anything you have to say, thanks so much.”

You’re so right! Business casual… bleccch!

Grotesque facial expressions aside, I am not the best person to ask about this sort of thing. I am often vastly inappropriate. I have always been on the fringes of my work’s dress code, partly due to boredom & partly due to a general feeling of awkwardness about rules & regulations. When I worked at Lush Cosmetics, for example, the rule was “black & white only” which soon bored me, & I started working in touches of hot pink, turquoise & blue before coming to work looking like a rainbow (& in blatant violation of the dress code).

I have been extremely lucky however, in that I have had a lot of so-called “corporate” jobs where the dress code just wasn’t that strict. (I did fair chunks of time at ISPs & telecommunications companies, where they tend to be a bit more relaxed about these kinds of things. I think it’s the large geek contingent that does it, quite frankly.) Here are some outfits I wore to my job at Telecom: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 & 8. For the most part, the people around me liked seeing what I came to work in, it was often a topic of discussion & provided some much-needed distraction from returning boring phonecalls or whatever else was on the agenda. However, on the flip-side, I’m pretty sure that my wearing combat boots to work was part of the reason one of my other temping contracts “ended early”... so proceed with caution!

Perhaps the best way to approach work in a “business casual” environment is to imagine yourself as a different character. Some kind of femme fatale, perhaps, who wears spike heels & a pencil skirt & a tailored white shirt. It might not be your style, but it will look good — which is pretty much the mantra I assigned to office jobs while I was in them. I often found that I had to pretend to be someone else just to get through the day: someone who cared about invoices & spreadsheets, rather than ME, the weird girl who needs music to work effectively (a disco at your desk is great at about 3pm) & likes her hair as big as possible.

If you don’t want to fake it — & I don’t blame you — dress like yourself, but imagine your mother is there while you’re choosing your outfit. Run her voice through your head. “Those shoes are completely impractical!” “I think that skirt is a bit short.” “Oh, you just CANNOT wear that.” (If your mother is awesome, like mine, pretend one of the women on Coronation Street is your ma instead.)

As long as you’re not in a super-strict office environment, where everyone wears suits (zzzzzzz), you can probably get away with a reasonably plain top, a cardigan & a pair of nice pants or a skirt.

Women can chuck a conservative-looking sweater over the top of a dress to make it a little less extravagant. You’ll never go wrong with a long black skirt & boots, or well-cut trousers. If you’re allowed to wear jeans, go for it — wear nice ones (no rips or frayed cuffs!) with a tailored sweater or shirt. Not so bad. Really, it will be hard for them to complain if what you’re wearing fits properly & is clean. If you want to spice it up, wear weird jewellery or buy an insane bag.

Men have less options. Wear a nice shirt (top button undone & untucked if you want to be more casual), good pants & clean shoes. If you can get away with a t-shirt, great! Wear a well-fitted new one, like something from Threadless.

If you’re really feeling the need to rebel, maybe write “I HATE MY JOB” on your stomach, backward, in marker pen, so you can pull up your shirt in the office bathroom & sneer in the mirror while you read it!

My final suggestion is to make friends with your manager, so that they’ll defend you if anyone balks at your colourful eye-shadow!

Good luck!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Things I Learned From Watching Miss Universe 2007

[ 30 May 2007, 12:49 ]

Love it or hate it, Miss Universe makes for good entertainment. I watched it last night for the first time in years. While the whole concept is blatantly ridiculous (“you can represent your country because you look good in a swimsuit!”), I still managed to learn a few things.

Poise is important
Even though Miss USA fell over during the “evening dress” segment, she recovered admirably. I have always thought that the real test of someone’s character is to see how they behave when they’ve been defeated, or when something goes wrong. It’s certainly when you learn the most on a personal level. Miss USA was obviously shaken when she fell over — as we all would be — but she got up again, shot us a personality-laden smile & all was forgiven. I was totally impressed by her.

Your personality doesn’t just appear when you open your mouth
Your personality — what I would say is the most important part of a person — is evident at all times. It is obvious in the way that you hold yourself & the way you look at other people. It shows in your grace, or lack of! Some people enter a room & even before they introduce themselves, you know you’re in for a sleigh-ride to Boredomville. In Miss Universe, you could tell the girls who had a little something going on upstairs — their eyes sparkled, they smiled mischievously, they walked with a purpose — & that made them far more attractive.

Learn how to project an image without saying anything
As a follow-on from the above, think about the things you do which tell the world about you. I wrote a piece at the beginning of the year asking What Does Your Clothing Say About You?, but this goes further than that. You could be wearing a garbage bag & still walk in a way that says you mean business. What kind of impression do you get from somebody who chews their nails, twirls their hair around a finger, jigs their leg constantly or sits with a smile but is constantly looking around elsewhere? Learn to be of the moment & present yourself the way you think you would be in an ideal world.

Real, healthy bodies are still sexy
After all the Size 0 hype, I was amazed to see that the contestants had real, bangin’ booties! Their thighs actually moved when they walked! Some of them even had little bellies! But the point is this — they all looked incredibly healthy & quite frankly, really hot. There is no way a runway model could have won it, & that pleased me. I’m glad our (by which I mean the current Western version of “our”) vision of beauty isn’t all skeletons, which you can almost begin to believe if you are too closely involved with fashion.

If you’re not sure about your outfit, ask someone
Miss Poland was wearing a chiffon prom dress with a fur hat, & Miss Serbia was wearing a “sexy” MILITARY outfit! ‘Nuff said!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Making Short Hair More Interesting

[ 29 May 2007, 09:52 ]

“I had my hair cut short for the first time a few months ago, and I love it. Not having to worry about bad hair days is marvellous. But I’m getting bored with it looking the same all the time! Since you’ve got short hair, too, I wondered if you’ve got any tips for making it look more interesting?”

I have, indeed, had short hair for years. In fact, it hasn’t been longer than my shoulder since about 2000. Now, some of these things will depend on the length of your hair at present, but here are some different ways to wear a short hairstyle.

Change the colour
This is probably the most drastic way to change your hair. You don’t need to do the whole thing if your work/school prefers you to look conservative or you’re just afraid to commit! You can always do a big streak across the front or put in some extensions. When I was 15 & had a blue-black bob (I was totally channelling Amy Blue in The Doom Generation), I would get extensions put in the front of it, hanging down on either side of my fringe (bangs to you Americans). They were the same length as the rest of my hair but provided a nice frame. The royal blue ones looked the best. Most hairdressers can put extensions in your hair for very little & it’s a quick, easy way to change your look. If you DO want to go blue, purple, bright red or neon yellow, read this first!

Wear hair accessories
They are your greatest ally. I have a drawer full of things to put in my hair: purple butterfly-shaped clips, turquoise feathers, small pink roses, tiaras & hairclips with all manner of things stuck on them, from glittery cupcakes to small ballerinas to Hello Kitty heads. Remember that it is incredibly easy to make your own hair accessories, usually all you need is a hot glue gun, a plain hairclip & stuff to stick onto it. Another option is to go slightly crazy & eke your way over to decora, a Japanese street style which involves wearing hundreds of little plastic toys all over yourself.

Cut yourself a fringe (bangs) or sweep them across
You might want to look at How To Choose A Flattering Haircut before you do this, because some face shapes don’t suit a fringe (bangs). If you sweep them across & they won’t stay, use a hairclip — try a diamante barrette. Sometimes keeping a fringe sitting flat is tough — some people swear by blow-drying it & curling it under with a brush, some use pomade & others use a combination of spit & crossed fingers. If you can pull it off though, a fringe is VERY cute.

Tease or spike it up
The bigger the better, baby! Teasing your hair is easy — grab a big clump, brush it towards the sky & then brush it back down towards your head. Repeatedly. Coat with hairspray (or talcum powder, I like Lush’s Candy Fluff for this purpose) & go out looking wild. Spiking it up is usually achieved with the aid of hair product, like KMS. You can try a little faux-hawk or just create a peak on the highest point of your skull.

Change the parting
Switch it up, from middle to either side or, if you’re handy with a comb, try one of those strange zig-zag partings.

Pin some of it up
My hair’s getting longer so I’m doing this quite a lot at the moment. I tease the hell out of it & then pin some of it behind my head. It somehow gives the appearance that I have far more hair than I do, which is always a good thing. To me, it looks like a weird mix between hobocore & elegance, & overall I’m pretty happy with the effect!

Put it into little pigtails
Self-explanatory, innit?! Use ribbons or lace for super plus plus cute effect.

Shave it!
Shave the side, or a pattern into the side, or shave your hairline back. All of these things have worked for me!

Wear a headscarf
Ahhh, yes. My trusty fallback position. When all else fails, when it is windy or raining, when your hair won’t behave or you have 5cm of regrowth (like me), just tie a scarf over your head. How To Wear A Scarf may be of some assistance, & so might How To Tie A Turban.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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T-Shirt Mania!

[ 24 May 2007, 16:12 ]

I used to be anti-t-shirts. Yes, it is true. However, I have recently realised that a t-shirt is a good thing to have. Especially comfortable ones with cute prints. I stumbled upon The Giant Peach today, an online retailer with a huge & AWESOME selection of print t-shirts.

Some of these would be excellent on boys too, just search for the same design under “men’s”.

Growing Up In The Hood — eskimo love!

I Am The Walrus — with illustrations of characters from The Big Lebowski!

We Can All Be Free — for Cat Power fans or just people who like to exercise their free will!

“I Fall In Love With You. You Are My Favourite Food.” — from Harajuku Lovers. Cute, though!

Didn’t I Blow Your Mind? — featuring whales!

The Promise Of Spring — for members of the We Heart Cherry Blossom club.

Happiness Is A New Idea — yes indeed.

Hot Air Balloons — on purple, I love it!

Ice Kreme Kastles — I don’t know how to describe this, but I love it.

Create Beauty — arrrrgh, this is so great!

Angelic — great design.

Smokin’ Kills — by Hysteric Glamour, with the best photograph ever.

Still Smokin’ — ...wear this one the day after.

Cars & Girls — more Hysteric Glamour.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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james&august Giveaway!

[ 23 May 2007, 18:59 ]

Also known as, “Yay! Free things!”

iCiNG has teamed up with james&august of New Zealand for a giveaway extravaganza!

james&august are going to be giving away FIVE prize packs, featuring a hoodie & a pair of striped knickers, as pictured above — though of course, you will have new ones!

All you need to do is email me telling me what you would wear with the hoodie! The most exciting & creative answers will win!

The hoodies come in cherry (bright red, all sizes) & pink (which is what I’m wearing — only available in [a very generous] size 8), & the knickers come in black/white, green/white, red/white & pink/white. You can take your pick, all you need to do is tell us the size you’d prefer!

I can tell you from personal experience that both items are immensely comfortable & fun to wear. I LOVE mine!

You have a week to send in your answers (competition winners will be announced on the 31st of May), so hop to it!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Disguising A Chubby Body Part!

[ 21 May 2007, 14:07 ]

“One quick question that might prompt another article for us guys who read you. Have you any tips on disguising or hiding a big tummy? I have more weight than I really need, but it is mostly concentrated on my belly – how can I make sure I look my best (while I try to lose some weight at the same time)?”

I love it when men ask me questions! (Hint, hint!)

Okay, the first thing you need to know is that, really, there is no “disguising” anything. If you have a big belly, you have a big belly, & unfortunately David Copperfield doesn’t manufacture clothing that will make your lumps, bumps or jigglies disappear forever. The good news is that with careful dressing, you can minimise the emphasis on your tummy. People will know it’s there, but it won’t be the most obvious part of your appearance.

So, what are the tricks to minimise a body part?

Wear dark colours
I know that the first article I ever wrote was about moving away from black clothing — but it definitely has its uses! Dark colours make things look smaller. You don’t have to do black if that looks too severe on you; try chocolate brown, navy blue & dark grey. The best way to do this is clothe your “secret” part in black, then wear a splash of colour somewhere else. It’s a great trick. Wear an electric blue scarf, for example.

Avoid weird fabrics
By this I mean shiny, stiff or bulky fabric. All of these things accentuate your size, by clinging to the parts of your body you don’t like & then catching the eye. Also, try to avoid horizontal stripes (they can make teeny people look big).

Learn to layer
The eye is automatically drawn anywhere there is a break in your clothing — say, where your t-shirt meets your trousers. This means that if you have wide hips & your t-shirt ends just there, you are going to look even wider. If you have a big belly, try wearing your shirt untucked. It might sound slovenly, but see how it looks. Often it will help in creating a sleeker look.

Work on your posture
Cheesy, but true. If you stand up tall, you will look better.

Good luck to you sir, & congratulations on your weight-loss effort!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Buy A Good Pair Of Shoes

[ 16 May 2007, 11:39 ]

Shoe shopping should ideally come at the end of the day, when you’re a bit tired & your feet are swollen from walking around for hours. This is for a couple of reasons. One is that with your feet swollen, you get a better idea of how the shoes are going to fit. The other is that when you’re a bit tired & worn out, you’re less likely to fall in love with a pair of shoes & buy them with little to no regard for their comfort level. (Yes, I’m looking at you!)

Here are some other tips…

Heels
If you’re interested in buying a pair of heels, the most important thing is to make sure that there is enough support under the balls of your feet — where your toes join the rest of your foot. The real test of this is to push down on the shoe bed, to see how it feels. If it’s hard & inflexible, those shoes are going to kill you. What you really want is a springy base to help absorb the shock of pounding the pavement. The best possible scenario is one where you press down upon the shoe bed & your hand bounces right back up again.

Flats
There is an assumption at the moment that all these people wearing ballet flats are walking around on clouds of air, in utmost comfort, etc. It is hogwash. Most of these fashionable flats have NO arch support, which is such a killer. If you’re going to buy flats, go shopping with a set of insoles in your bag. Put them in the shoe when you try it on. Initially, yes, it will be rather snug, but after a while the shoe will soften & you truly WILL be walking around on clouds of air, in utmost comfort, etc.

Soles
You should check these to make sure you’re not going to be slippery-sliding all the way down the street. The idea sole is rubbery with grooves. If your shoe’s sole is completely flat, you are in danger. Take it to a shoe store & get another sole attached!

Please note: All shoes need arch support! If you have a high arch (like I do), you will find most shoes are super-painful & that as you shuffle around the city, crying out, a sad man with a violin may start following you, playing a tragic ditty. This is not a good look. Do yourself a favour & buy some good insoles! Okay?! Okay!

Extra For Experts:
The Manolo has some wise words from Cary Grant on buying shoes. (Also read the comments, I luh-luh-looove them!)
SoYouWanna buy a good pair of sneakers?

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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American Apparel Reviews

[ 14 May 2007, 13:15 ]

More things I bought from American Apparel. On top I’m wearing a Sheer Jersey Chemise in Teal (medium), & on the bottom I’m wearing California Fleece Pants in Black (medium).

Now, those of you who recall yesterday’s outfit (here) will remember that I was wearing a “grey” hoodie “dress” from AA. The reason I bought the Sheer Jersey Chemise in a medium was because I thought that if I bought it bigger than I needed, maybe it would be long enough to wear underneath the hoodie dress. I was wrong. This is so short, it only just covers my butt — just like the dress, except not as modest. Very frustrating. It’s also too long to wear as a top, it looks kind of ridiculous & too casual. If I was the sort of girl who liked to rock skinny jeans or show off her thighs in general, then this top would probably be seen outside the house. However, I am not that sort of girl & therefore, it will probably remain in the category of sleepwear. / 5

The pants, however, are another story entirely. I bought a medium because I thought they might shrink in the wash, so I’m waiting to see if that happens. (Good thing they have a drawstring though, or they would fall straight off me.) They’re a really good, straight cut, so they don’t cling to my thighs & make me look lean & sleek. They are SO comfortable, I adore them. They are quite long, so good for tall people. Also, with a pair of heels or wedges they can easily be dressed up. I cannot recommend them highly enough. / 5

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Adopt A New Skincare Routine

[ 11 May 2007, 11:12 ]

I’m not going to lie to you — changing your skincare routine is a major fiasco. It makes me quite nervous, actually. There is such huge potential for disaster. If you have something which works for you, I strongly recommend sticking to it. Don’t get sucked into the vanity of wanting to use Chanel skincare if Johnson&Johnson makes your skin glow — you will regret it.

Why would someone want to change their skincare routine in the first place?
In my case, I had to change mine because my favourite moisturiser (Afterlife by Lush) was discontinued in Australasia. A tragedy, since I loved it & had been using it for years. Other reasons might be that you’re breaking out regularly, your skin is too dry or too oily, your cleanser stings your face, or you want to upgrade to a more adult or glamorous brand (don’t do it!).

Now that you’ve established that you want to pull the great switcheroo, here’s how to go about it.

1. Research.
The first thing you should do is work out the attributes of a product you’d like to use. Does price matter to you? How about fragrance — would you rather something that smells amazing or something fragrance-free? Do you want a product with a good reputation or does that not bother you? You get the picture. For me, the most important thing about a skincare product is that it’s fairly natural, & by this I mean lots of plant-based ingredients & very little in the way of preservatives or alcohol. There aren’t a lot of companies doing that kind of thing, so that automatically narrows the pool.

From here, you need to find out about companies which you think might be in line with what you’re after. The controversial Paula Begoun, aka “the Cosmetics Cop” (pshhhh) has a handy little search function on her website. You can use this to get overall reviews of brands, & also individual assessments of pretty much any makeup, skincare or haircare product ever invented.

Do, of course, keep in mind that this is one woman’s opinion — & of course, she hasn’t tried the vast majority of these things. (Can you imagine what a mess her skin would be if she was using a different product every day?!) No, mostly she just reads the ingredients list & makes an assessment. I disagree with a lot of her reviews, BUT it’s a good place to start.

Once you’ve read up on that, head to Makeupalley for a real review. Makeupalley is amazing, a community site where cosmetics-obsessed individuals write their thoughts on everything in their makeup cabinet. It’s great for getting a balanced perspective on things, & you can rank reviews by average rating, too.

2. Obtain samples.
I think it’s important to go to the beauty counter of the company you’re interested in & talk to one of their staff. They know what they’re talking about, & they can look at your skin & make recommendations of what you might like to use. They also have interesting insights — you might think your skin is dry, when actually, it’s just dehydrated. They are trained professionals so take their advice! Don’t feel bad about getting samples: you should take as many as you possibly can.

If they don’t give out samples, walk away. Seriously. WHY anyone would spend hundreds of dollars on a product that may or may not work is beyond me. Some products get rave reviews, but everyone’s skin is different & there is no guarantee that anything will work for you!

3. Try, try, try again.
When you’re changing your skincare routine, try to go slowly if possible. In my case, I was using a Lush cleanser, a Lush toner & a Lush moisturiser. My moisturiser was almost finished, so when I went to the Aesop counter, they gave me a moisturiser which suited my skintype as well as some cleanser. While the temptation to use both of these products was great, I held myself back, & I am glad. Why? Because if your skin starts to break out, you won’t know why. Best to substitute one product at a time.

Here’s the bad news — it can take a long time, sometimes up to 3 weeks for your skin to show a reaction to a skincare product. I know, it’s bad. Often, cosmetics companies aren’t very keen on giving away 3 weeks worth of free product, & I can understand why. My suggestion to you is to use as little as possible, make it last the distance. (The sneaky may like to go back for more samples.)

4. Buy the smallest size you can & keep your receipt.
Smile at yourself in the mirror. You fought the beauty industry & won!

When skincare goes wrong…
Another week into your routine, you might break out, get a rash or feel like your face is melting. It happens! If it does, you’ll be glad you kept the receipt. Take it back to the store. Usually when you do this & explain the problem, they’ll exchange your bunk product for something which is more suited to your skintype. If not, shake your fist angrily & return to your prior skincare routine.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Top 5 Ways To Define Your Own Personal Style

[ 9 May 2007, 00:49 ]

5. Buy a decent-sized Moleskine notebook & start making a look book for yourself.

Stick into it any pictures of models, clothes, makeup that appeal to you. Copy into it quotes from anyone whose style you adore — like Karl Lagerfeld’s quote: “Good taste only tastes good to the people who think they have good taste; a good taste can be very uncreative & boring. Good taste is something very bourgeois, very established, so it needs fresh air.”

Read fashion history books & make notes in aforementioned Moleskine about things you like. Pillbox hats? Platform shoes? Sailor chic? Write it all down & don’t worry if it’s not “in fashion” now — remember that fashion is cyclical & besides which, constantly being “on the pulse” is boring.

Do your research. Read fashion websites (my preferred mode of obtaining information & inspiration) & buy magazines — not just Vogue but things like FRUiTS & Cutie too. Go to the library & look at stacks of fashion magazines from the 1970s & 80s if they have them. Take photocopies of anything you like. Watch movies with a strong aesthetic — say Amelie, The Virgin Suicides, Pulp Fiction, Bladerunner, The Addams Family etc.

4. Start borrowing clothes & accessories from your friends: experiment & find out what works for you.

I say borrow because it’s cheap! There’s no sense in buying something which you’re not sure about. A short-term loan from a friend is a great way to discover what suits you, & if you don’t like it, just give it back! (You should try to bribe your friend if there is anything you really love.) Allow your friend to dress you up if they’re game — you never know, they might just kit you out in something you adore. Fill a plastic bag with accessories that they no longer wear, take them home & work them into your outfits over the next couple of weeks. Do you look better in small, Lennon-esque sunglasses or huge, oversized shades? How does a cowboy hat suit you? A beret? Are you more comfortable with an enormous vintage doctor’s bag or a clutch? You get the idea.

3. Start taking daily outfit photos — I cannot stress the value of this enough.

Do it with a Polaroid camera if you can. Stick them in the back of your Moleskine. Write commentary alongside each one, including what was good, what wasn’t, & what you’d change if you wore it again. This will make such a difference to the way you dress yourself, & will teach you a lot about your colouring, shape & proportions.

2. Write yourself a rough style concept.

An example. It doesn’t need to be long, but flagrant use of adjectives can help solidify a picture in your head. You could start off simple, with “wide-leg pants & cropped cardigans“ but then expand it to “wear with geta & pearls“. Allow your imagination to roam, & if all else fails, go back to step five!

1. Be prepared to spend some time thinking about your look!

The most stylish people don’t magically conjure their outfits into existence: a lot of the time, their wardrobe is the cumulative effect of lots of list-making, hunting, haggling & a staunch attitude towards keeping weird old treasures. Feel free to make mistakes — if you’re not making mistakes, you’re not pushing the envelope hard enough. Finally, don’t be afraid to redefine your style concept — to make it wilder or more wearable. This will keep you from getting stale & is also a lot of fun!

P.S. Hello to all my new readers from Problogger!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Small Questions

[ 8 May 2007, 22:55 ]

Quite often I receive emails asking me questions about fashion, style & the like, & while everyone would benefit from hearing the answers, they don’t necessarily require a huge response. Here I will endeavour to answer multiple questions at once, so if you feel like asking me something which might fit here, don’t hesitate to email me!

In these first few emails, I tackle thick ankles, long-lasting lipstick & how to make freckles look even. If you have any additional hints or tips, feel free to add them in the comments below!

“Spring’s coming (for the northern hemisphere anyway) and brings forth the question of footwear – flip flops, strappy heels, wedges, whatever. Now I have, erm, sturdy ankles, and was wondering if there were any styles of shoes that can flatter and slenderize the ankle area, or do us gals with the thick ankles just have to suck it up and live with it?”

Really, it’s all about proportion! Anything with a thin, pointy toe is a bad call; in contrast to your ankle it will make you look enormous. An ankle strap will make your leg look slightly strangulated, & a low kitten heel will make you look hefty. Avoid all of those! Your best friends are simple sandals/thongs/jandals/flip-flops (they don’t need to be rubber, elegant ones do exist, just be sure to avoid any with an ankle strap), clogs (they will give you shape) & anything chunky (this will make your ankle look delicate by comparison). You’ll also look good in a wedge mule. Good luck!

“Is it possible to get any red lipstick (bright red lipstick), which I can kiss my boyfriend with, without leaving a huge lipstick mark on his cheek? Last time he got bored because he ended up with red marks all over his face…”

I’m not a fan of those long-lasting lipsticks. In my experience they are VERY drying. My mother always used a lip sealer, which is almost like a varnish you put over your lipstick. It will keep your lipstick on all day, it is quite amazing. I don’t know what brand she uses, but I found Make Up For Ever’s Lip Plus Lipstick Sealer on Sephora which seems like it would certainly do the trick. As for red lipstick, my favourite is MAC Red by MAC Cosmetics, but I know that MAC’s Russian Red is very popular too.

“Can you recommend make-up products and tips for those of us who have freckles? I’m in my 30s and have had freckles since childhood. I don’t want to cover them up or hide them, but I would like to know how to blend them evenly with my foundation, blush, etc. Sometimes it’s hard to get an even tone to one’s skin, when it isn’t even toned to begin with. Again, I don’t want to hide or cover up my freckles, but I still want to look stylish and sophisticated. Any advice?”

Unless you want to get rid of your freckles entirely, without makeup your skintone is always going to look a bit uneven. That’s the bad news. The good news is that freckles are really cute & you can still wear sheer foundation over the top. They’ll still be there but the foundation, applied properly (after cleansing, toning, moisturising & using a primer), will make your face look radiant & healthy.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Rock A Wig

[ 2 May 2007, 18:08 ]

“Oh my gosh, will you please write an article on how to wear a wig! I’ve tried cheap ones on at novelty shops before, but they just look like a Halloween costume on me. But your looks just wonderful, like I actually thought you dyed your hair for a minute. It doesn’t have to look completely natural, but I would love to know how you pulled that off without making it look like it was just a silly costume. Also, what did you do with your hair underneath it?”

Dear Anonymous (psshhh! I’m going to call you Greta),

The most important thing when it comes to wigs is that you spend as much money as you can. I know it probably seems like I say this a lot, but really, it’s true. You get what you pay for. Cheap wigs are obvious & it doesn’t matter what you do to it, it’s always going to look wrong somehow. While a more expensive wig is not necessarily superior, they tend to be better as a general rule. My black wig wasn’t very expensive, I paid $65 Australian for it (about $53 American), but it was bought wholesale so I got a good deal on it. It’s not amazing quality but it’s okay, & since I don’t intend on wearing it a whole lot, it will serve its purpose very well. If you’re planning on wearing your wig regularly (like more than once a week), you should spend more.

Definitely take your time when buying any kind of hairpiece. It really needs to suit you, & if you’re not sure, go away & think about it. There’s nothing worse than something expensive that doesn’t get any wear! You should feel comfortable in your wig — it’s like any other item of clothing, if you don’t feel good in it, it will be obvious & it won’t look right. If you’re not sure what kind of hairstyles suit you, I wrote an article on how to choose a flattering haircut which will help!

Having said that, buying a wig doesn’t need to be boring or predictable. Your hair doesn’t have to look “real”, per-say, just good! You have the ability to wear anything you want, so if you’d like to rock a purple bob or long white ringlets, you can! Have fun with your appearance; surprise yourself!

Make sure you take care of your wig! They’re usually sold in plastic bags, but a polystyrene head or something else which is round is optimal for the wig to sit it on. Brush the wig (with a steel comb) before you put it on & then brush it again once it’s on your head.

When I bought my wig, I knew the fringe (bangs) were too long, so when I got home I had my friend trim them. If you’re going to do wig surgery — which is almost always necessary, in my experience — go slowly! If you hack a big chunk out of it, it’s not going to grow back, so be careful! When we started trimming my bangs, we trimmed about half a centimetre at first, then looked at it & talked about it some more before doing anything else. After a bit of adjusting & fiddling, we decided the bangs would look best if they were sitting just above my eyebrow, so we trimmed it back to there. The good thing about this is that if I want my bangs a bit shorter or longer, I can change them by sliding the wig back & forth. If you’re nervous about screwing this up, take your wig to a salon & have a professional attend to it.

I wear a stocking over my hair when I put a wig on, as well as clipping the hair under it. It just keeps all your natural hair in place. Also, sometimes the rubbing of a wig will give you a bald patch, so a stocking is a good way to prevent this. Put the wig on (put your thumbs in the front of it & hook it over your head), shake it out a bit, give it a comb & once it’s in place, grab some bobby pins & pin it to your natural hair. Otherwise it will slide around & it’ll sit too far back on your head, which looks pretty ridiculous. When you’re putting it on, make sure it is pulled down all the way in the back. If the wig feels loose, take it off & adjust the band.

If the wig still looks a bit fake, or you’re not entirely comfortable with it, put a hair or a scarf over the top. Since this covers a large portion of the wig, it’ll seem more realistic, & for some reason when you do this, no one will ever suspect you’re wearing a wig. I went out last night wearing a scarf over my wig & I felt fantastic & confident — kind of like a spy! My new hair gave me the confidence to be a different person, with more wiggle in my walk & coy little smiles.

I know a lot of women with cancer who are undergoing chemotherapy are terrified of having to wear a wig, but I have read a lot of accounts of women who find that it actually gives them a lot of freedom & a wonderful opportunity to expand the horizons of their appearance. In season six of Sex & The City, Samantha develops cancer & finds herself in a wig shop, trying to make herself look like “her” again. She’s very distraught because she’s going to a movie premiere & she can’t find anything which resembles how her hair used to be. However, later in the show, you see her at the premiere wearing a bright pink wig, & it looks magnificent. Keep that in mind when you’re wig shopping!

If your wig looks really shiny & unrealistic, a light coating of baby powder will help dull the sheen. Apply it with a powder brush, then shake off the excess. You can also buy special wig styling spray to keep a handle on flyaway hair & weird kinks etc. that your wig might have. Both of these things can help to make your wig look better on.

Above all, have fun with it! I now own two wigs — the black bob & a big pink afro, & I want more! I’d like a white bob & a beehive too…

Extra For Experts:
How to care for all different types of wigs — very useful information.
How to put long hair under a stocking cap — because if you just pull your hair into a bun, it’ll look like you have a tumour under your wig!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Eyelash Extensions!

[ 30 April 2007, 16:12 ]

I had heard about eyelash extensions but never really considered getting any myself. To me, they seemed to fall into the realm of those women who require excessive upkeep, & that has never really been my thing! However, when I received an email from Pascaline of Lady Cil inviting me to try a set, I jumped at the opportunity. Seriously, who doesn’t secretly want to look a little bit more like Bambi?!

It was very exciting because I have never even worn false eyelashes before. I was an eyelash treatment virgin! I have attempted to stick falsies on before, but god they look awful, it’s a very drag queen-esque scenario.

A day later, I was on the way to undergo my transformation. Pascaline is adorable, a very sweet woman with a lilting French accent who can definitely be trusted to look after you & put you at ease. I lay down on the massage bed (complete with yellow angora blanket) & closed my eyes.

Pascaline applied a cooling pad to my eyes, which also had the advantage of sticking down all my lower lashes so they wouldn’t get in the way. Then I… well, I did nothing. I lay there with my eyes closed as we listened to French music & Nina Simone, talking a little bit but mostly just relaxing. There were tweezers & glue & a strange device which puffs air (to dry the glue) whizzing around above my head, but for the most part, I was blissfully unaware!

The eyelash extension process is very labour-intensive, because when you apply an extra eyelash, it needs to stick to one which is mature, but not too much — otherwise, if it’s too mature it might fall out quickly, & if it’s not mature enough it may not have the strength to hold an extra one. That’s part of why it takes so long. My session lasted about two & a half hours, but when you consider that there is one woman individually attaching 45 new eyelashes PER EYE, it makes sense.

The end result AMAZED me. Pascaline uses thick black lashes which create a very obvious, but still subtle, effect. I was so thrilled when I looked in the mirror, my lashes were long & thick & gorgeous. The best thing is that I don’t need to wear eye makeup at all, in fact it almost looks excessive — which also means that I wake up looking amazing! It’s SO GOOD!

The cost of an initial treatment is $200 for a set, but after that, refills are only $40 & they only need to be done every 3 weeks or so. $200 is, admittedly, quite expensive, but I believe it is absolutely worth it… & think of all the money you’ll save on mascara! However, I have GOOD NEWS! Pascaline has offered to do a “Gala special“, which is 30 eyelashes (instead of 45) for $150, with a FREE refill included. How awesome is that?!

A couple of my eyelashes have fallen out so far, & I had it done 3 days ago, but they still look excellent & that’s just the way eyelashes are — they fall out! Plus, that’s what refills are for…

The website warns that it is an addictive procedure & oh my god, IT IS, I am obsessed. I feel so glamorous, but quite frankly, the photographs speak for themselves. I am not wearing ANY makeup in these shots, I took them just after I got out of bed!

Man, I love these eyelashes so much. If you’re in Melbourne, definitely check out Lady Cil & if you have any questions or queries, get in touch with Pascaline. She is so adorable & I’m sure she would love to hear from you!

Okay, I’m going to go & bat my eyelashes in a winsome manner now…

Note: In the interests of full disclosure, you should know that I received my set of eyelashes in exchange for a fair, honest review of the service. I believe that my honesty & integrity are of utmost importance, & I am never going to falsely hype up something that I don’t really love. I haven’t omitted any information at all — I would consider that a disservice to you, my readers, who I am crazy about! Pascaline knew this was a chance she took at the time, but thankfully, I adore her work — & you will too!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Burlesque Chic

[ 19 April 2007, 09:20 ]

On Sunday night, I went to see the Red Door Burlesque at The Order Of Melbourne. It was a very exciting night, I’d never been to The Order (though I had heard good things) or seen live burlesque! The latter is especially strange, because for a while, I was absolutely obsessed with burlesque & even considered forming my own troupe a couple of years ago.

The Order Of Melbourne is wonderful, dimly lit with a rooftop garden & immaculate table service. The show was fantastic, too — two saucy curvy ladies getting their kit off, Birdman (the host) pouring tea through his nose, a cute girl in a makeshift peep-booth & Marawa, who did two acts, one with hula hoops & another where she combined trapeze with aerials!

There were free lamingtons (see below), special burlesque cocktails & an incredible cheese board on offer. We had such a great time! The atmosphere was excellent too, I felt like I was in a 1940’s lesbian joint — except there were men there, too! I wish I had dressed up more for it — I was totally underdressed, in jeans, a black trapeze dress & a red headscarf. I didn’t realise the crowd would be so dressed to kill. There was a lot of shiny black hair, red lipstick, high heels, fishnets & general glamour! It was fantastic, it’s so rare to see people (especially in the 20-35 age group) really making a huge effort when they go out.

For anyone who wants to incorporate a little old-world glamour into their daily dressing, here are some ways to do it…

Do your eye makeup in a cat’s eye style.
I almost always wear mine like this, it makes me feel very glamorous & dramatic. Here’s a good tutorial if you’re not sure what you’re doing! One thing to keep in mind is that sometimes, lining your lower lid will make your eye look really heavy, as if you’re tired or sick. Whenever I put makeup around my eyes, I only ever touch the top lid.

Change the way you do your hair.
From a short, fringed flapper-esque bob to long pin curls, an old style hair-do makes a very strong statement. This is the best online guide I’ve found for information on burlesque/vintage/retro hairstyles. Go forth & pin curl! You can also add a little sparkle to your hair with diamante slides & silk flowers. If all else fails, tie a scarf over your head, like I do!

Get your hands on a great vintage-look jacket.
A jacket is such an easy way to transform an ordinary outfit into something which looks spectacular. If you like fuzzy outer-garments, you can buy old fur coats very easily on Ebay & faux fur is all over the place. Also, keep an eye out for tuxedo jackets (regardless of your sex) & vintage jackets with nipped-in waists. It is VERY important that these items fit. If they don’t, you risk looking like an Olsen twin on a bad day (without the cash).

Start wearing high heels!
Never owned any? Can’t walk in them to save your life? It’s a good time to start! There’s nothing sexier than an elongated leg & a little shimmy while you walk.

Focus on the details.
Start drawing on a beauty spot, wear red lipstick, take good care of & paint your nails (red or pink being most traditional), & think about your silhouette! A really simple but glamorous outfit could consist of a white tailored shirt, a black pencil skirt, stockings, heels & red lipstick. I know it sounds kind of boring, but you will look like a knock-out.

For men…
I think a crisp white shirt & tight black pants is a really good look. If you can get your hair into a pomp, you should — if not, grease it down. I also like big, fake black moustaches on men… but maybe that’s just me.

I’m thinking of going again, I really enjoyed myself. This time, though, I would do my damnedest NOT to feel underdressed! I would go all out — black pillbox hat (with net), black corset over shiny rubber-look black dress, wide fishnet stockings & spike heels. The more I think about it, the more appealing it sounds! & of course, if you haven’t been to a burlesque show & have the opportunity, I strongly encourage you to go!

Extra For Experts:
Art Of Seduction, an article from The Scotsman.
An interview with Dita Von Teese, from Factio Magazine.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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iCiNG's Definition Of Chic

[ 13 April 2007, 11:00 ]

Yesterday, Kristen suggested that we all — as a community! — compile a list of what we think is chic. In her words, a “positive, fun, happy” list. I think it’s a brilliant idea, so here it is!

What makes somebody ‘chic’? We all have different ideas. It is too easy to rattle off a list of things which aren’t stylish & it doesn’t help anyone — so what about a person makes you sit up & take notice? What about a person makes you aspire to be like them?

My idea of a chic person is basically how I imagine the best people to be. I certainly don’t fit all these criteria, but I’m working on it. Here are my ideas. Please feel free to write as much as you like in the comments!

I think a chic person…

Has exemplary manners (or at least makes the effort)

Has enough clothing to feel properly attired at a business meeting, a club or a wedding

Is passionate about something — art, business, communication, philosophy etc.

Respects his- or herself & other people

Doesn’t betray confidence, aka can keep things private

Has excellent posture

Practises what my friend Kaia calls “right speech” — meaning, does their best to only say things which are constructive, helpful &/or positive

Looks after their nails (only since I stopped biting mine have I realised what a difference it makes it one’s presentation)

Can charm the pants off anyone, from other people’s parents to grumpy shop-keepers

Travels across the city for what she thinks are the best croissants, coffee or olives

Reads the Sunday newspapers

Is organised (stylishly, of course)

Only spends her time with people who make her feel good

Takes responsibility for himself

Glides instead of walking (it is an elegant way of moving, lithe, a sleek creature rather than a galumphing human)

Can cook, eats well & drinks a lot of water

Takes care of their possessions (shines their shoes, cleans their bathroom, hand-washes any delicate clothing, etc.)

Has distinct personal style, from clothing to hairstyle to handwriting

Lives life to full capacity every day

Has things that are what I call “signature” — personal elements that define them, which are distinctly individual. This can range from a way of walking to a tone of voice to a love for anything vintage

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Modern Manners

[ 12 April 2007, 11:57 ]

I love everything that’s old – old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.
— Oliver Goldsmith

A call for a return to manners, civility & poise!

I believe that the days of being petulant & stroppy must end! I am bored by girls who chew gum with their mouth open, frustrated by those who drag their feet while they walk, disappointed by boys who eat with their elbows on the table. I am turned off by lazy speaking, whether that means inelegant elocution or a vocabulary littered with cuss-words (of which I myself am guilty). It exasperates me that the international uniform for girls my age appears to be tracksuit pants & flip-flops. Nobody treasures their possessions anymore. People go out in scuffed shoes with a handbag full of rubbish. Nothing is deliberate or special. The world is full of slouching & belching, drunkenness & lechery, constant cellphone prattling & arguments in public.

It is hardly surprising when the role models for young girls these days leave the house with their c-section scars hanging out! The whole thing is crass & disgusting.

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
— Fred Astaire

End the madness!

If you don’t know where to begin, here is my decorum diktat — short & sweet. The basic idea is that you think about how you are presenting yourself! Be polite & friendly — smile at people! Learn to take a compliment. Never air your personal grievances in public (it is so uncouth). Look after your appearance. Do your best to pronounce words clearly. Stand up straight, as if you’re proud of yourself (if you’re not, fake it until you make it). Do what you say you will — honour your commitments. Finally, & perhaps most importantly, try not to be that person who gets hideously trashed & makes a fool of themselves every weekend. You will never respect yourself, & neither will anyone else.

A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Extra For Experts:
A “modern manners” test from the BBC — how do you score?
Thoroughly modern manners — a nice overview of manners today!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Marriage -- The Final Frontier

[ 8 April 2007, 15:01 ]

If you were going to ask someone to marry you, how would you do it? If you already have, or someone has asked you, how did it happen? What are your thoughts on marriage in general?

My boyfriend asked me after we had been going out for about two weeks. We were in Melbourne on a holiday (yes, an international holiday after two weeks), walking around the city, thinking about moving here. We were having an amazing time & every night he would read to me from The Tao Of Pooh until I fell asleep. As we walked around, we found ourselves outside the registry office, & he asked me to marry him. At first I didn’t believe him. I was SO surprised, it blew my mind, but I was scared & I did the math (I was only 22, we have a big age gap & we’d only been going out for a couple of weeks), so I said no. He has since said that he’s asked once, he’s not going to ask again, so I guess it’s up to me if that’s a step I want to take!

I think marriage is kind of weird. That whole idea of binding yourself to somebody for life seems antiquated & impractical to me. I think I will probably be involved with various people throughout stages of my life. I feel like being married (as opposed to just living with someone or being together in general) adds this crazy layer of social conditioning to a relationship where it then becomes a big deal to break it off. You have to “get divorced”, which has a large amount of stigma for many people, especially if you’re young. The idea of being a 25-year-old divorcee is amusing for about three minutes. Then it’s something you have to live with. If you’re just living together, it’s easier — you just move out, there are no legalities or paperwork to get involved in (normally). I think that kind of thing is very limiting, it may prevent people from growing or changing because they can see where it might lead.

I do like the idea of stepping a relationship up a level though — so you’re not just someone’s girl- or boyfriend — but the idea of a “life partner” or a “civil union” leaves me cold. So I’m somewhere in the middle, muddling my way through, trying to decide what I think is right for me personally.

I remember when I was a kid I would go to my friend’s house & we would have “underwater tea-parties”. The idea was that you’d jump in the pool, sink to the bottom, cross your legs, pretend to drink tea from an invisible teacup & talk to one another. It came out mostly as “burble burble”, but I think asking someone underwater would be pretty awesome.

The idea of asking your lover something which is that important in a strange environment really appeals to me. On a hot air balloon ride, while playing midnight croquet or as you lie down together in a secret treehouse — I think that would be wonderful. I also love treasure hunts & adventures & secret hints & clues, so maybe making your own fortune cookie or writing it on the petals of a sunflower or something would be cool.

I love that scene in Sex & The City (sorry to people who don’t like it) when Aiden asked Carrie to marry him. She knew it was coming but he took her completely by surprise. He asked her to come out with him while he walked his dog, & in the middle of the street, he knelt down to do something to his dog’s collar & said, “Here, hold this” while she was looking away. She was expecting to be given the dog’s leash, but he placed the engagement ring box in her hand instead. It was so cute.

My parents’ story about getting married is really romantic. My mother saw a ring she liked. The end.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Paparazzi Photos

[ 8 April 2007, 13:02 ]

Now, before you go thinking that this is just a re-hash of an old article — Flattering Photographs — let me tell you that it’s not! Flattering Photographs is all about how to take a good photograph of yourself. The sort of thing that one requires for the multitude of social networking sites we all belong to these days. Myspace, Livejournal, Facebook, Consumating, Twitter, Last.fm… it just goes on & on & on, & you need a swell profile picture (or pictures) for all of them.

But what about those times when you’re at an event & a photographer approaches you, asking to take your photograph for x magazine? It is a time of panic for many of us. You can’t exactly grab the camera, hold it several centimetres above you & say, “Lemme show you how it’s done, bucko”. While this would probably give you points for audacity, it would leave a pretty unpleasant taste in most people’s mouths.

Of course, the secret reason for this article is that I had my photograph taken at the Curvy 2007 book launch & the pictures were fine, but I am annoyed at myself for not really nailing it. There are several things I would have done differently, & they’re included below.

Here’s how to make the most of a paparazzi moment.

Work out your best angle. Most photographers will take photos at eye-level, meaning you’re going to get a straight-on kind of shot. (If they try to take it from below, either tell them to take it higher up or not to bother — no one looks good from that angle.) Don’t just look straight at the camera. You’ll end up with a mugshot, & even Frank Sinatra couldn’t make that look good. This may mean a bit of bedroom practicing. How much do you need to twist your neck to make the most of those lovely cheekbones?

Lift your head slightly. Not too much, since it makes the photograph very “chinny”, if you know what I mean. There’s also the risk of a picture which looks more like “A Thorough Investigation Of Jane’s Nasal Cavity” than “Jane Brouhaha & friend”. The point of lifting your head is to elongate the neck & improve your posture. It also helps avoid the whole double-chin scenario.

Yes, posture. Stand up straight! Curved shoulders & a generally troll-like disposition are very unattractive. You should be standing up straight all the time, but I know it can be hard to remember, especially if it wasn’t drilled into you early. Imagine there is a string coming up from the top of your head which is attached to a cloud way up above your body. Then act accordingly.

Put down anything you’re holding. Take off bags, put down cellphones/drinks/chihuahuas, & if a coat is slung over your arm, give it to someone else to hold for the time being. The reason for this is that all these accoutrements are a distraction from what should be a glorious photograph of YOU! Not Skyy vodka or Nokia or Tinkerbell. The other thing to keep in mind is that when you looked in the mirror before leaving the house, you didn’t have any of this junk. It was just you in a daringly stylish outfit. You want to preserve that as an image if you can. Bags throw us off balance, make us lopsided, pull on necklines &, in a really bad photograph, add weird black unidentifiable blobs to our stomachs or chests.

Have a schtick. Seriously. My schtick used to be a shocked face a few years ago. When faced with a photographer on Thursday night, I went with my old schtick. Nice in theory, except my face has changed since then & now it makes me look like Skeletor, as you can see in the photograph above. Hot! Except not really. For this reason, I suggest coming up with something which works & then regularly CHECK that it still looks okay, before randomly terrifying photographers & guests alike.

If you don’t have a schtick, or you think the idea is lame… be off with you! No, not really. Aw, gimme a hug. If you don’t want to pull a face, just smile! I know it sounds simple, & it is. But it works. Of course, make sure you’re doing the right smile. Some people have gnarly teeth which make even the tenderest grin look painful, while sometimes the closed-lip smile conjures up images of a mouth full of cotton wool, or a nervous, frigid woman. (EVEN if you are a man!) So get your smile right in the mirror before hitting the red carpet.

Hold your arms slightly away from your body. This will make you look much smaller, believe me. Put your hands on your hips for best effect.

Be confident! Even if the photograph kind of sucks, at least if you’re smiling or look like you’re having a good time, you’ll be much happier with the end result.

Good luck to you!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Destructive Relationships

[ 4 April 2007, 15:57 ]

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

This whole subject is such a minefield. Nobody likes to be told that their bad relationship or their general unhappiness is their responsibility, but ultimately, the only way to fix things is to take the bull by the horns (as it were) & start making some changes.

Yesterday I talked to a friend about my In Bed With Your Parents article, about how your childhood experiences impact on your life today. She got very defensive & angry, which is sad because I wanted to help her. My intention in writing this is not to upset or offend anyone, but to (hopefully) help you. Also, I would like to add that I am not exempt from the whole situation. I have been in plenty of bad relationships in my time. So please take it in the manner in which it was intended! Okay, disclaimer aside…

Are you in an unhealthy relationship? You’ll probably know, deep down, if you are — but denial is a powerful thing. If you’re not sure, have a read through this list. The following are all signs that your relationship could be better:

You think that there is one special person who will make you happy. (Hint: no one can make you happy except yourself.)

Your friends — who normally have good judgment — dislike your partner a lot, & when they criticise him/her, you end up springing to their defense with weak excuses like, “Oh, but he’s normally not like that…”

You put up with your lover treating you badly, & feel like if you wait long enough/try hard enough/become a better person, this bad treatment will stop.

You’ve tried to leave before, but you can’t, or you feel unhappy with them but think you would be worse off alone.

The way you treat each other is atrocious but the sex is really good.

You never know what is going to happen next — & not in an exhilirating, romantic way, more in a stomach-churning, nauseated by fear kind of way.

You think that if you left them, they wouldn’t care.

You barely ever see your friends, family or anyone else. It’s natural to be in love & want to see your loved one all the time, but it’s not healthy to cut yourself off from the world. Your friends have complained about it, but you don’t care.

Everything else in your life is suffering — along with your social life, your health & career are also going down the tubes. Find it hard to concentrate at work because of your constant personal drama? Are you eating a lot more, or less, than usual? Do you get drunk to memory-loss as often as possible? Do you do anything other than spend time with person x?

Your partner scares you, intimidates you or is abusive physically, emotionally or sexually.

There is really no way to improve a relationship that is bad for you. People rarely change, regardless of how much we want them to. The only way they will change is if THEY want to, & even then, it is a long, hard road. There are probably ways to make it more tolerable in the short-term, if that’s what you want — is that really what you want? If so, start reading relationship books, though ultimately they will echo what I’ve written here.

If you want to break your bad patterns, have a think about how you would actually like your relationships to be. Do you want a girlfriend who can’t live without you — or is her clinginess & dependency on you going to feel suffocating? I personally think the make-up of a good relationship is something like: open, honest communication; respect; intimacy & fun. Communication is probably the most important part. If you are too scared to voice your opinion to your partner, or you’re afraid of how they’ll react, you have a problem. If you can’t communicate, believe me when I say it won’t last.

Imagine a healthy relationship in your mind. Think about how both parties would behave. Then make a list of those traits — for example, someone in a good relationship would expect to be treated well, & not accept any less, or have a partner who encouraged them to have their own social life. Write it down. Make it three pages long if you need to.

Now, I know that this sounds overly simplistic, but all you need to do now is pretend to be the person you’ve just written about. Seriously, that’s it. Walk how they would (probably tall & proud), dress the way they would, speak the way they would, & only interact with people who you think they would. If your friends think you’re acting weird, tell them what you’re doing. If they’re supportive of you, keep them around — if not, bin ‘em. Negativity is bullshit!

You will find by doing this for long enough that you will become this person. Sometimes the way you used to be will slip through, but don’t worry about it, just keep doing it. Fake it until you make it.

Other things you can do to avoid slipping back into bad relationship habits:
When you meet someone, don’t have sex too soon. You risk emotionally bonding yourself to someone who you may be completely incompatible with — which will put you right back where you started.
Try to see people AS THEY ARE, not as you want them to be.
Communicate. If someone says they’ll call & they don’t, challenge them on it. You deserve someone who does what they say they will.
Don’t give people second chances. You may need to be tougher than most people for a while, just to make sure you break the habit of being a doormat.
Listen to your gut. If you think someone might be cheating on you, or that things don’t feel right, get out. Don’t second-guess yourself.
Make sure your partner makes you feel good about yourself. Most people get into destructive relationships because of low self-esteem. The person you share a bed with should make you feel like the most amazing person in the world.
Instead of freaking out about the relationship, focus on yourself. “Remember you? What do YOU want?” For a lot of people (women, especially), their relationship becomes their hobby — they work at it & think about it obsessively. Think about yourself for a change.

Not sure how to get out of it? Don’t delay. It will become more difficult the longer you put it off. If you’re living together & know it’ll be you moving out, make arrangements with a friend to stay at their place. Then comes the hard part. Once you’ve made your decision, sit down your soon-to-be-ex & tell them you’re leaving. Explain why. You do not need their permission to leave, you do not need to justify your reasoning. Try not to get into all that ugly “I don’t love you anymore” stuff. Then make your escape.

If you want more information, I definitely recommend Hot Relationships by Tracey Cox. It is really a very good book. Another great book which I love is The Guide To Getting It On by Paul Joannides. (It’s huge but it’s so good that I want to buy every new edition that comes out. It covers pretty much every aspect of sex & relationships that you could possibly think of.)

Reading this article is not going to change your situation. It might make you more aware of what’s going on, but I know by now that people will do what they want to, regardless of what you tell them. If you really want to change your relationship patterns & get happier, you need to take action. Take responsibility for your life! If you’re miserable, you need to do something about it! You are in charge, even if you think you’re not. Take care of yourself.

Extra for Experts:
Negative People — how to get them out of your life.
I’m So Jealous! — tips for improving your self-esteem.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Miss Sixty Fall 2007

[ 4 April 2007, 11:41 ]

Okay, I know I don’t normally publish runway photos, but this collection — Miss Sixty Fall 2007 — is incredibly cool &, in my opinion, very wearable.

I love the collar on this jacket! It is fantastic! I like the short little sleeves pulled up, too. Not necessarily the best choice for winter, but I suppose if you had something with thin but long sleeves, it could work. I am absolutely mad for the high-waisted pencil skirt with that skinny little belt, & also the scrunched-up socks with those boots. Seriously, what an amazing outfit.

Same girl again. I like her haircut very much. Not sure about the bodice of the dress (it’s DENIM, I saw it instore in London), but the poofy layers of tulle with black, glossy, knee-high, paratropper-esque boots is DEFINITELY a look I would rock if I could. I love silly juxtaposition like that — soft with hard, sweet with mean. If you took her to a ball, it looks like she would grab you by the collar, throw you against a wall, put one of those beautiful boots on your chest & tell you she loved you. Heaven.

Yes, it’s a little “Mask of Zorro”. The hat can go, but I love that cape & the way it winds around the neck. Very chic. I also like the short grey gloves.

Okay, you should know by now that I am a major sucker for anything with a fitted bodice & a poofy skirt. When done well, it looks exceptional. I also ADORE the fabric. I hate the hat, though, & something needs to replace that bra.

But wait! From the back, the hat looks fantastic! I just think at the front it should be more like a flying cap than a baseball cap. Behold the way that skirt flares. Wowza. I love it with the boots. So cool.

I love this. The beanie with those puff shorts & socks pulled up high? Perfection. Of course, you need twig-thighs (like the model) to wear them, so you know, they’re inappropriate for anyone who doesn’t exist on a diet of lettuce leaves & coke (& death)! Oh well, I would rather be happy ;>

Yes please. Beanie + dress (again, fitted bodice & pooooofy skirt) + fur stole + fingerless gloves. Beautiful. (I would like to have seen it with the paratrooper-esque boots, above, but oh well.)

Lovely.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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The Most Amazing Dress In The World

[ 3 April 2007, 14:54 ]

Don’t some of you have prom coming up? (Or some other weird American tradition?) This is the perfect dress. It has 22 hours to go & is $200 or something, but COME ON, look at it!

It’s hideous/amazing! I loooooove it! You’d be the biggest cupcake in all the land!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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In Bed With Your Parents

[ 3 April 2007, 11:33 ]

I was reading a book last night (Hot Relationships by Tracey Cox, if you must know!) & came across something really interesting. She had a whole chapter on what to do if you commonly fall into bad relationships. I have always known that these things tend to stem from a lack of self-esteem, but that was about the extent of my knowledge.

What she wrote really surprised me. At first I thought it was too clean a theory to actually have any basis in real life, but then I thought about the people I know & have been involved with, & I realised she was right.

Here’s a summary. (Unfortunately it is written with a heterosexual bias, so I don’t know how it applies to lesbian or gay relationships. Any ideas?)

Regardless of what you thought about the kind of relationship your parents had, you will subconsciously search to replicate it — or, if you’ve made a conscious decision that you don’t want to be like that, you’ll be looking for the complete opposite.

For women: Your father is the blueprint of all future men you’ll meet, meaning you will expect all men you come across to be similar to your father. It generally takes a while to realise that this isn’t necessarily the case. My father is successful & determined & hard-working & very loving — & so, to me, those are examples of “ultimate manhood”. If men don’t have those qualities, they don’t float my boat. If, however, your father is an alcoholic who let the family down, you will automatically expect the same of all men. Also, often what feels most natural to you in a relationship is an imitation of the way you used to be with your father — so if he was slightly dominating but loving, you’ll be drawn to that kind of man. If your father was always distant, you might find yourself replicating that over & over again with other men. Also, if your father was really good-looking, you’ll tend to go for really hot men, while if your dad wasn’t such a stunner, you’re more likely to be interested someone for their personality.

“If you had a doting father, you’re likely to reject men who don’t adore you. If your father wasn’t the hugging, affectionate kind, the message you got was: I’m not sexually attractive.”

For men: As above, it’s likely you’ll seek out the type of relationship you had with your mother. If your mother was a traditional, stay-at-home mother who doted on husband & kids alike, you may be on the search for a similarly old-fashioned gal who wants to take care of you. But if you think your mother could have done more with her life, you might really want a woman with a corporate job & a ballsy attitude. You’ll also learn from your father how to treat women — whether to bring flowers, for example, & how far it’ll get you if you do.

In terms of practical application, one helpful thing to do is think about your parents’ relationship. If you want the same kind of relationship they had, then that’s easy, you’re already going to automatically head in that direction. If you DON’T, you need to make a list of the things you didn’t like about it & keep it on hand. You will tend to subconsciously try to mimic what your parents had, because that’s familiar & comfortable to you. If you’re in a stable relationship with someone, you might want to show them your list. That way you can both keep an eye out to make sure what you have doesn’t devolve into your parents’ relationship.

Did either one of your parents have an affair? If, as a girl, your dad had an affair, you will have learnt not to trust men like him. If, as a girl, your mother was the one humping her way around the neighbourhood (for example), you might find yourself more prone to cheating than most other girls you know. If you’re a guy, your father cheating on your mother has sent a strong message — that this is how men treat women. Think about how that fits in with your personal ethics. You may need to actively fight against strong natural instincts to cheat.

Of course, just because your parents are huge influences, you need to let go of any blame or anger towards them for “making you this way”. They also had role-models which have affected them, & anger isn’t going to get you anywhere. Try to see their positive attributes. Your mother may have been a tyrant, but at least you learnt not to take any shit. See what I’m getting at?

Tomorrow I’m going to write a guide to getting out of a destructive relationship. Stay tuned!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Possible Style Icons

[ 24 March 2007, 12:44 ]

I’m not 100% sure on either of these girls yet, but I think they have definite potential.

I have a soft spot for Amy Winehouse because she was born a day after me, in the same year! I put a lot of stock in weird things like that.

I also like her because she has great pin-up tattoos, massive hair, dramatic eye makeup & absolute tons of talent. She seems a bit messed up but that’s okay, aren’t we all to some degree? She also provides great soundbites:

At around age 10, Winehouse founded a short-lived amateur rap group called Sweet ‘n’ Sour, as Sour. She described the group as “the little white Jewish Salt ‘n’ Pepa”.

Winehouse has a number of “old school” tattoos of naked women on her body. When asked about them, she was quoted as saying “I like pin-up girls. I’m more of a boy than a girl. I’m not a lesbian, though — not before a sambuca anyway.”

I know Kelly doesn’t get it right all the time. Sometimes her Frankenstein-esque makeup scares even me. But you have to hand it to her for trying. I think she’s great, actually — she is honest about who she is & she manages to pull off a lot of different looks with considerable aplomb. She’s super-cute & very stylish.

I think she has come from a distinct disadvantage: while her family is wealthy, her father (Ozzy) & mother (Sharon) are hardly paragons of class or dignity. Of course, sometimes she says stupid things on camera or gives the appearance of being despicable — but if you point a camera at most 20 year olds, you are going to get similar results. It also looks like she struggles with her weight a bit, & of course the press absolutely crucifies her for it, which has to be hard. I think she’s pretty cool, & she gets older she’s definitely improving, style-wise.

Who’s on your style radar?

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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International Dress-Up Day #002 Pictures!

[ 18 March 2007, 11:05 ]

Fred Chook dressed as Dr John H. Watson!

“It was a quiet day in the spring of 1899 when the singular Case of the International Day of Dressing Up was presented before my good friend and colleague, Mr Sherlock Holmes. This case was remarkable in that Holmes was able to solve it without ever leaving his seat in our front room, barring a short visit to the lavatory. I also like to think that, in a small way, my own powers of psychology and human understanding, as well as my grip on the fire poker, contributed to retaining the honour of a young lady and ridding London of one of its most dangerous criminals…”

smokeandwine said…

“I love the idea of International Dress Up Day and decided at last minute that I needed to participate even though I had thought for a long time on what I wanted to dress up and finally went back and decided to be my favourite movie character of all time – Garth from Wayne’s World =D”

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Concealer Recommendations

[ 16 March 2007, 11:12 ]

“I need a new concealer. I don’t particularly want to spend heeeps of money on it but I want it to be a good one and to last a while (ie not a tube skinnier than my pinkie finger!). I like to use the creamier ones (as opposed to a concealer stick) I find these blend a lot easier. Do you have any suggestions?”

Why, of course I do!

I am a total M.A.C. fiend, as we all know by now, so I’ll tell you what I’ve used by them.

I currently use M.A.C. Select Moisturecover, which comes in a tube with a little fuzzy wand applicator. I never use the fuzzy wand though, I find the design a bit counter-intuitive & it doesn’t give me a lot of control. Instead, a dab a little of the concealer on my finger & apply it that way. It gives pretty good coverage, especially underneath the eyes (which is where I generally need it, I am Little Miss Dark Circles!).

In the past I used M.A.C. Select Cover-Up. It looks like the smallest tube ever, but I have only ever used this & the Select Moisturecover above… & I have only ever bought one of each. Seriously, this stuff lasts for YEARS. It’s very good for light coverage.

I am, however, intrigued by M.A.C. Studio Finish Concealer SPF 35. I suspect it’s a bit heavy, being “studio fix” (& especially given that it says it will cover tattoos), but I have recently discovered that I quite like heavy coverage. If you apply a studio product lightly (much less than you normally would), it looks fantastic — really natural, it gives a beautiful effect. Sometimes the M.A.C. girls will ask if you’re sure you want to buy any of the studio products, especially if you have good skin — but for days when you feel like you want a really good, clean look (most days, for me), the studio products are great.

Hope this helps madame! I’m almost out of Select Moisturecover & think my next purchase will be the Studio Finish Concealer for sure.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Deal With The End Of A Relationship

[ 15 March 2007, 16:21 ]

People deal with the end of relationships in various ways. Some people go the healthy route (lots of therapy, good food, exercise & meditation, for example) & some go the unhealthy way (say, lots of alcohol, sex with anyone who pays them a compliment, drugs to create artificial joy & an annoying facial tic).

However you deal with it, the point is that it drives everyone a little mad. It is a harrowing time. It’s scary & heart-wrenching & makes you angry & gives you butterflies & aAAAaaAaAaAarrRrRrggGgGGGhhhhhhhHHHHh!

If you have recently given your lover the flick, or been the flickee, you need to allow yourself time to deal with it. I know this is boring, but really you need to go easy on yourself. Get a calendar. Work out the day you broke up on — say March 15. Page forward three months, to June. On the day of June 15th, write, “get over it”. You now have three months worth of absolute wallowing. You may not need them, or even want them — but you have just given yourself permission to deal with the fall-out, toxic or otherwise.

The biggest break-up of my life was compounded by a transference of emotion which went awry. Terrible. I’d left my boyfriend & totally ruined things with someone else. I was living alone, miles from my friends & family. I was incredibly lonely a lot of the time. I was working my ass off in a job which was kind of fun but paid badly & one of my staff was insane & malicious, with the ability to destroy your day with a simple comment. It was a bad time. Believe me.

How did I get through it? I listened to a lot of Fiona Apple, I smoked a lot of cigarettes (), I sat in bed every night with a bottle of Johnnie Walker & wrote stories, I went for long walks & cried myself to sleep, I considered moving home to live with my parents. Obviously, I was in a pretty bad emotional state, it was a very ugly time. Please don’t follow my example, it is a terrible one.

Instead, try the following:

Seriously, go easy on yourself
Just do what you want. Use this newfound freedom to actually do things you enjoy. Like watching every single teenage cheerleading movie you love, or listening to really loud apocalyptic folk music. Sleep when you want to, eat in bed, do whatever feels right.

Spend time with your friends
If you, like so many other people, have slightly abandoned your friends in favour of your lover (a terrible sin), you need to make it up to them. Take them out for coffee, a meal, go to the park, go shopping, talk a lot. Apologise. If you didn’t abandon them, do the same things, but less apologising. Your friends will be your best weapon at this time, so make good use of them & be as kind to them as you can be.

If you don’t have a lot of friends, make an effort to be social & get out of the house. During my break-up, I enrolled for a creative writing course at the University near my house. We met up once a week on a Tuesday night & would workshop everything the other people had written. It was really good for me & definitely helped boost my confidence (I was the youngest person in the class & they absolutely heaped praise on me). It also made me feel like I was good at something, rather than feeling like a big Love Trainwreck. You might want to try something similar, friends or no.

Try not to talk about Mickey/Griselda too much
I know a little ex-obsession is normal, but after a while you will begin to sound like a broken record & your friends will be sitting on their hands, trying not to maim you. After the break-up, allow yourself two weeks maximum to talk about your ex, then go cold turkey. No more! It’s not helping you, & you’re annoying everyone else. If you must think about it, get a notebook & start writing. I have filled up several notebooks this way. (I might as well just write the person’s name on the front of the book so I know who it’s about.) When I was obsessing over one particular person (ahem), I used to write about him on the bus on the way to work, on all my lunchbreaks, on the way home, & after dinner. It is crazy, I can’t believe I had so many thoughts.

Find some kind of outlet
Do something to keep your mind occupied. If you’re naturally artistic, then you should go for that — paint or write or make music to your heart’s content. It is incredibly therapeutic. If you’re not very artistic, indulge yourself in sports, languages, books, record collecting, shopping, baking, angry cross-stitch, buying an entire house worth of furniture, etc. Do whatever feels right to you.

Look after your body
If most of the year you are a complete slob like the rest of us, this is one time when you should really look after yourself. Eat as well as you can — don’t just resort to Burger King every night. Try & eat lots of vegetables & grains, drink plenty of water (especially if your beautiful eyes insist on spilling so much of it), sleep as much as you feel you need to & get a bit of exercise. You don’t have to go & make a mess of yourself in a gym somewhere, just go for a good walk every so often or ride your bike to the sea or something.

Again, after my last break-up, I would walk to & from work (it was about 45 minutes in each direction). I would take my camera with me & listen to my mp3 player & think. It was a really great experience & use of my time, even though I was miserable. I actually sometimes miss that walk.

Don’t do the “friends” thing
If your ex wants to stay friends, say no. If you want to be their friend, hold yourself back. TRUST ME when I say that it NEVER WORKS. It might work for a few months, but then the poop will hit the fan & you do not want to be around for it. Seriously. If you are meant to be friends, it will happen again once you’ve both dealt with the demise of the relationship, but don’t force it. Especially while one or both of you are angry/grieving/scared/lonely/on the prowl. You don’t want to hear about their new lover, right? Ouch. Delete their phone number & email address, it will be good for you.

Don’t sleep with them again!
I know, it’s very easy to do. But just don’t. It only complicates things further.

Don’t get back together without a lot of consideration
The same problems you used to have are probably still there. Why would it be any better this time?

Be good to yourself again
Go to the movies & eat a jumbo box of popcorn, get a massage, have a manicure, clean the house (it will make you feel great), buy a good pair of shoes. Scream if you want to. Punch pillows if you’re really angry (I never found that very satisfying but for some people it works a treat).

Don’t jump into another relationship or sleep with anyone
No matter how perfect they seem! You’re not ready & won’t be for at least six months. It will end in a terrible mess, & it won’t take long for your new lover to realise they are a rebound. I think everyone has done this at least once before, but let’s learn from our mistakes & not do it again, huh? If you haven’t done this, please avoid it at all costs.

Read uplifting books & watch movies which make you happy
Here are some suggestions if you don’t know where to start — they run the gamut from funny to insightful to bizarre & inspiring.

Dangerous Angels by Francesca Lia Block. Fear Of Flying by Erica Jong. What’s Not To Love? by Jonathan Ames. The Unbearable Lightness Of Being by Milan Kundera. The Princess Bride by William Goldman. T.A.Z. by Hakim Bey (available online). Kafka On The Shore by Haruki Murakami. Pronoia Is The Antidote For Paranoia by Rob Brezsny. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott. Anything by John Steinbeck, Henry Miller, Anais Nin, Roald Dahl, Franz Kafka or Charles Bukowski.

(My movie taste is questionable at best — I watch New York Minute often. Yes, the movie featuring Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen. I love it & I am not ashamed! So it’s best for you to take recommendations from elsewhere on that subject.)

Really, in winter, there is nothing better than going home with a huge stack of books from the library on bizarre subjects. Yesterday at the library I saw, “A Complete Illustrated History of Cannibalism” (or something) which is about the best thing I can think of.

Think about yourself
What do you want for yourself? What do you want to do in the future? Did your boyfriend hate Europe which prevented you from travelling there? Well guess what baby, you can do it now! Take time to work out who you are again. Sometimes in a relationship it is hard to know where the couple ends & you begin. I have changed so much since my relationship, & completely for the better.

I guess it has been about a year since my last relationship really ended, & in that time I have: travelled to four countries, moved internationally, started my own business, gone camping in a desert full of crazy people (also called Burning Man), gotten another tattoo, dyed my hair pink, removed all my piercings, started wearing COLOUR & embracing it, shaken off depression & an eating disorder, stopped biting my nails, & met someone who totally rocks my world. (Lots of other stuff too, like I had my first chocolate & peanut butter milkshake, oh my god, so good!, but they’re not major things.)

Life goes on, really, & it is amazing regardless of whether you have a lover or not.

Being single is fantastic. It can be lonely sometimes, but you will grow to enjoy your own company & really embrace life again soon, I promise. Everybody gets through it, even though I know right now it might seem like the most devastatingly hideous thing ever.

Please be good to yourself. iCiNG is an amazing fledgling community & there are definitely people here who would happily listen to you vent, including me. I love all my readers very much & if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. Okay?! Don’t forget!

Lots of kisses, let me know how you’re getting on & if there’s anything I can do to help you. Chin up, cutie!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Wear A Scarf

[ 10 March 2007, 11:23 ]

“I bought a couple of scarves the other day and would love to know the best way to wear them! It sounds like a silly question as I know how to tie a scarf, but yours look fab and so effortless. One I bought is long, slim and silkish, black with skinny red double striped border. The other is a square (to be folded into a triangle) and cotton with a grey tiger print and tiger face on one corner – red trim. They would both give quite a different look. Any advice would be great!”

I must tell you a secret. Mostly I wear headscarves because my hair is short enough to have days where it absolutely refuses to behave. The rest of the time I go the scarf route because I can’t be bothered doing my hair!

I first started wearing them when I received a scarf in a goodie bag from fashion week. Since then I have amassed a sizeable collection (though most of them came from raiding my mother’s wardrobe). They’re such an inexpensive & colourful way to add to an outfit, I am obsessed with them. Look for good ones in secondhand stores or recycled clothing boutiques. Check the seams & if you’re buying something in a delicate fabric, beware of snags or holes. Also, wash it before sticking it on your head!

I like to match my scarves to other parts of my outfit — so maybe it’ll be the same colour as my bag or my eyeshadow. I usually take the square ones, fold them in half to form a triangle, then lay them over my head, tie a knot at the back & tuck the triangle flap underneath that (to stop it billowing in the wind). Sometimes I fold them thinner & wear them like a headband, but I find this works best if you have masses of hair which will stick out at strange angles behind the scarf — & my hair’s too short at the moment for that kind of thing! & you have probably seen my How To Tie A Turban video by now!

Another way you can wear it is around your neck. One option is to take the scarf in its triangle form, drape it around your neck with the triangle at the front of your body, then knot it behind your neck. This usually works best with a scarf which is reasonably stiff, but if you’re using a silk scarf I suggest wearing it snug against your neck, otherwise it can be kind of droopy. With a long thin scarf, just fold it in half lengthways & then knot it so that it wraps your neck. You can do a bow if you like but it’s really up to you.

I think my scarves probably look effortless because I’ve been wearing them for such a long time! They’re so quick — just tie them up & go. They are my saviour on days when I feel haggard & just want to get a massage & be left alone. Haha.

Experiment with different knots, bows, clasps & brooches to keep them together. Try tying a scarf around one handle of your handbag — I love this as an idea, it looks so elegant & I think it would be fantastic to have a scarf on hand at all times in case your hair gets rained on/blown out of shape/annoying. Stylish & practical, I love that stuff!

Extra For Experts:
25 ways to tie a scarf with cute little diagrams & everything. “Add a gay flair to pants”, indeed! I’m going to steal some of these ideas tout de suite!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Avoiding Creeps

[ 8 March 2007, 20:09 ]

“Hey baby!”, wolf whistles & lecherous looks are just something you have to deal with as a woman. Right?

Nobody likes to be yelled at in the street, whistled at, or otherwise ogled. I know that a lot of women are nervous to leave the house wearing a short skirt, high heels, a low-cut top or anything that could be perceived as “slutty”. It really angers me that people aren’t able to dress however they like because of other people’s stunted social prowess.

I have been on the receiving end of all this nonsense myself. It is awful. Really awful. Sometimes it can be quite terrifying — not the yelling itself so much, but more what it says about the people doing it, & the risk it poses to me as a girl.

However, over the past few months I have become far more aware of myself & the impression I give to the world. (I wrote a little bit about this in my article What Does Your Clothing Say About You?) The more I learn, the less negative attention I receive on the street. It’s not because I’m getting ugly or I’m dressing in a more conservative fashion — in fact, these days I am far happier showing more of my body, because I’m actually happy with it for the first time in years. Also, a lot of women find that they get yelled at regardless of what they’re wearing.

The reason the number of incidents has declined is because of how I conduct myself.

I walk in a very assertive, confident way. I have a fast walking pace (I always have; I can’t help it!). I stand up tall, my shoulders back. There is a spring in my step. I give off a very strong message: I’m happy, I’m not scared of you, & I’m not an easy target.

It’s basic self-defence. If you were a predator, or just a generic toss-pot, & wanted someone to hurt, upset or get a rise out of, who would you go for? Someone who looks like they won’t fight back. Someone who looks unsure, nervous, someone who is hunched over, hiding from the world. If you project a strong image, more often than not, people will leave you alone.

But how can you project a strong image when secretly you’re terrified that some guy is going to grab you or yell at you?

Fake it.

Think of someone who walks like they own the pavement — then imitate them. After a while, it will change from imitation to real, actual confidence. I used to use this tactic when I was at a party & feeling introverted — I would think of my friend Jenno Soprano, who is always having a time to remember. I know it sounds overly simplistic, too easy to work. Trust me when I say that it works a charm.

The other thing you can try is a little bit kooky, but bear with me, because in my experience it is pretty much foolproof. Before you leave the house, take a deep breath & imagine there is a zipper running up your body, starting at your pubic bone & finishing just underneath your nose. Visualise yourself zipping it closed, working your way upwards. Then go out, & do whatever you feel like. I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly effective this is in terms of keeping away weirdos, creeps & other undesirable people. Even if this sounds a bit crazy to you, try it & see how you go. You can zip yourself up as often as you like, every minute if it makes you feel more secure.

When I do either of these things (or especially if I do them in tandem), people still look at me; I can still feel their attention. But somehow, it’s like I’ve hit the mute button. They don’t make a peep. They are exceptionally well-behaved. It makes my world a better place. I hope it for works for you, too.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Quality and Conformity

[ 7 March 2007, 13:27 ]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the proliferation of expensive items of clothing which are available for purchase. I know that they’ve always been around, but it seems that now more than ever, people are being encouraged to spend up BIG on clothing. It used to be that a few hundred dollars for a dress was extravagant — now it seems that people will spend close to $1000 on shoes without blinking an eye, & it’s not an isolated incident. These same women also have several thousand dollar bags sitting in their closet.

There are a few possible reasons for this. I think one of them is that with the internet, we can get realtime photographs of the latest celebrity at Starbucks, we can see what they’re wearing, & think, “I can get that too!”. It’s a modern version of “keeping up with the Joneses”, except it’s “keeping up with the Olsens”. We are taught, as a consuming culture, that we should have the best of everything, & damn the cost.

With credit card debt at an all-time high, it’s not the most difficult jump to make. People aren’t being valued more highly these days — it is just getting easier & easier to spend beyond your means. It is basic conformity: you see other people doing something & you want to do it too.

I saw a girl on Livejournal the other day asking which Louis Vuitton bag she should get. She said, “I really like this bag, but I like this one too, a lot of girls in my area have it though so which one should I go for?” I replied saying that I thought LV was ugly & a waste of money. I was surprised by how many people agreed with me, but come on! If a Louis Vuitton bag wasn’t such a status symbol, they would barely sell — they are brown with a hideous design. Another thing about owning a bag like that is that they look exactly like a good fake. This has devalued them incredibly, at least to the average person on the street.

Some things are worth what they charge. Hermès, for example, silk-screen their scarves by hand, & their bags are made by hand, one at a time. The money you pay is certainly worth it for this level of craftmanship & exquisite quality. The thing is, Hermès is exceptional & an exemplary company.

I can certainly appreciate the thrill of owning a good bag — but why not own a good bag which REALLY turns you on, rather than just a bag which every celebrity has? I mean, who are you trying to impress?

The other problem is that people are immediately associating quality with super-high cost. They think that if they want pants that flatter them, they need to spend over $500; they think that if they buy a bag which costs less than $1000, it will fall apart or look cheap. This is absolute nonsense! There is obviously a deficit of education in this area. The cheap crap & the expensive couture are not your only choices!

I have always spent quite a lot of money on clothing, but I rarely buy labels. The idea of owning something which everyone else has in their closet just screams “tragedy” to me. My point is, you don’t have to spend the equivalent of a house down-payment to look good, but you also don’t have to shop the bargain bins if you don’t want to!

My mother has always been immaculately dressed & it is because of her I realised that if you buy quality items, they will last a long time & look good for the entire length of their life. I have piles of clothing & I very rarely get rid of anything — the only major mistakes I have made are when I side-stepped my own “buy quality” rule. I have bought dozens of cheap t-shirts which soon lost their shape (& that was my fault & I have learnt from it, my god!).

I have been struggling with this whole thing as a concept recently, because for all my criticism of Louis Vuitton (et al), sometimes I see things that I really like which happen to be designer & very expensive.

My conclusions:

Buy whatever you like, as long as it makes you happy.
If you see a Marc Jacobs bag that you adore, then you should own it (especially if you can’t stop thinking about it days later, this is usually my test as to whether I actually want to buy something or just feel like spending money). The label shouldn’t be a consideration: you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting Chanel but you shouldn’t feel like a loser for buying something without a label.

Impress yourself & do your best not to care about what other people think.
Who cares about a label? Seriously. It is solely the domain of the exceptionally shallow & clueless. Don’t buy into that crap. You will feel far better if your bag is bright turquoise & matches everything than if you have a little Miu Miu purse which doesn’t fit over your shoulder.

Buy quality.
Or else you will spend even more replacing everything you own every few months.

Don’t spend beyond your means.
If what you want is expensive, save your money, then buy it. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can afford something just because your credit card company is willing to lend you the money & because it hurts your ego to have to wait another week for something. You Will Pay Big, believe me!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Rock A Beehive

[ 5 March 2007, 00:24 ]

“Hello, lovely! First off, thanks for being awesome! Love love love the site! Secondly, I have a question. Do you know of a tutorial or something on how to do your hair like a 60’s beehive? I don’t know if mine is long enough yet but I have decided to let it grow for the moment & I am DYING to do it in a beehive! I know you have short hair, but you are the only person I could think to ask something like this. Thanks!”

Well… since you asked so nicely!

I have never had a beehive but they certainly do look AMAZING. My mother used to tell me stories about her friend Valerie’s beehive. My mother never had one, I think she always kept her hair pretty short, but apparently they made quite a sight when they went to the Ilford Palais together, Valerie with her huge hair & my mother with her “flat head covered in a white silk scarf” (her words, not mine).

Apparently a beehive was a lot of work. Women would fight for beauty salon appointments on a Friday afternoon so that their hair would be done for the entire weekend — & they would sleep with their hair wrapped in a scarf so it didn’t get ruined (or use silk pillowcases). I understand that pool parties were also very unpopular around this time!

A beehive will work best on hair that hasn’t been washed for a few days, & optimally your hair will be about shoulder length. The secret is all in the backcombing. If you don’t know how to backcomb your hair, it’s very easy — take a section of hair, brush it upwards in a vertical motion, then move your comb to the back of the section & brush it back down again. Keep going all over your head so that you end up looking seriously demented with huge tufts sticking up everywhere.

Before you start this, you really need to decide whether you’re going to sweep the whole lot upwards & together or whether you want to conceal the backcombing. If you want to conceal it, exempt a large front section of your hair from the backcombing trauma, & then sweep this back over your fluffy bits. You can then use a clip or headband of some description to hold it in place.

Styling the beehive is a very delicate task & is best done with the hands rather than a comb. Pat it into an acceptable shape & then grab a can of hairspray. Go crazy with the stuff. Your hair should be solid as a rock but look light & fluffy. Spray & style, spray & style. You might also find it helpful to whip up some kind of elaborate mirror set-up, since you’ll need to see the back of your hair before you leave the house.

When you go out, you will need a good tail comb in your handbag to keep it looking pristine & to tuck away anything that strays from your perfect coiffure!

Beware, this is definitely a high-maintenance hairstyle — I wouldn’t advise running, jumping or exceptionally vigorous shopping if you want it to hold its shape.

As you can imagine from my instructions, constructing a beehive is not easy & I suspect this is why so many women preferred to place their tresses in the capable hands of a hairdresser… However, I’m sure that with a bit of practice (& a lot of hairspray) you’ll end up with a very stylish do! Good luck miss!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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What Does Your Clothing Say About You?

[ 28 February 2007, 22:38 ]

Have you ever thought about what message your clothing is projecting & what it says about you? What story do you think your outfit today told the world?

No, no. Don’t keep reading. Pause for a second & think about it. When you leave the house in the morning (or the evening), what are you & your outfit trying to say?

Really, it’s worth considering. How many times have you walked down the street & made a huge judgement call on someone else, PURELY based on what they’re wearing? (I know. It is awful, but it happens.) Do you dress for yourself or for other people? Are you trying to fit in with your friends, or impress the opposite sex for your own ultimate gain?

I was on my way to buy sushi on Friday night when I passed a girl wearing an extremely short dress with her boobs hanging out. She wasn’t unattractive, but seriously, I barely noticed her face. It was all about the boobs. What was she thinking before she left her bedroom? I am trying to be as non-judgmental here as is humanly possible, & maybe I am completely wrong, but I don’t think she was going to a rotary meeting. She looked like she was out to snag a mans (sic). I’m not talking about a first date at a little restaurant & flowers, I’m talking about nightclubs, bumping & grinding, & waking up in the morning feeling like a troll. (I think that “if you’ve got it, flaunt it” can be taken the wrong way sometimes.)

I have to tell you that this is hard to write without it sounding like I am judging casual sex — which I’m not. Maybe it wasn’t a good example. I also feel bad for really skinny girls who wear tracksuit pants so no one will notice.

People are free to do as they choose — all I think is that you should value yourself & your clothing should reflect that.

I like short skirts as much as the next girl, but I think there is a point where you stop dressing for yourself & start dressing for the benefit of others, & that’s when we start to have problems.

What you’re wearing & how you’re wearing it says so much about you — how you feel, which parts of your body you like & dislike, how confident & comfortable you are, & where you think you fit into the world. It is so interesting to think about all these things when you’re people-watching, but it is best applied to yourself: before you leave the house, before you buy a new dress or before you buy another pair of Converse to replace your last pair.

Are you a “scene” kid, secure in your goth, metal, emo or hip hop uniform, happy to fit in? Do you walk around clutching a Louis Vuitton bag in front of you, & if so, what does that say about you? Are you concealing nipple piercings behind your conservative blouse in a secret act of rebellion? Are you going for a European look, & does that mean you’re ashamed of your heritage? Are you dressed to resemble the latest celebrity-du-jour — & does that mean you’re completely devoid of your own style?

Ultimately, only you know what’s going on in your own life, & only you hold the secret decoder ring to your own outfit. But you don’t need to buy into all that scene crap, you don’t need to follow trends & you don’t need to impress anyone else. If you feel good it will mean more than any compliment a stranger could pay you.

Dress as if you are celebrating yourself in a room full of sleeping people.

Just do whatever it takes to make you happy. Your external appearance is yours & yours alone — yours to do whatever you please with. Clothing can transform you into anyone you want to be, which is something that I think International Dress-Up Day helps with. It reminds us that we can do whatever we please, that we can dress like our idols if that’s going to help us become more like the people we admire, or the person we imagine ourselves being. There is a whole secret language in the fabric we cover (or uncover) ourselves with, a secret language that bellows down the street in all directions.

“If you aren’t enjoying your clothes, then you really are missing the point.” Betty Halbreich.

Where is the real value in dressing for other people, anyway? Why not try impressing yourself? If you still really want the external validation, don’t worry — when your clothing is truly flattering & you are obviously happy in it, people will notice — but the point is that you will look good without having to devalue yourself or buy into anyone else’s ridiculous agenda.

If you can manage to untangle yourself from that huge part of society which says we must be liked, admired & fit in at all costs, you will start to realise & develop your own true style — the perfect gift to yourself, which no one can ever take away.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Novelty T-Shirts

[ 26 February 2007, 10:45 ]

This is a terrible craze which affects boys & girls similarly.

You know the ones I’m talking about surely — “Your Village Called, They Want Their Idiot Back!!!”, “That’s Queen Bitch To You”, “I’m Going Nucking Futs!”, “Drama Queen”.

Phew! Giggles a-plenty! Actually… no. These shirts have a magical power which automatically lowers the IQ of the wearer by at least 40 points.

Please, if you own one of these t-shirts, or your beloved has one hanging in the wardrobe — do your city a favour & dispose of it. Quickly, quietly & with minimum fuss. (We suggest a roaring fire.)

Thank you.

This has been an iCiNG Public Service Announcement.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How Do I Choose An Eyeshadow Which Suits Me?

[ 26 February 2007, 01:12 ]

“My mother is not one of those women who wears a lot of make-up. The most she’ll ever wear is foundation and powder. Unfortunately for me, that means she can’t give me tips or tricks on choosing or applying make-up. How do you choose an eyeshadow and once you’ve found one, how do you go about wearing it? Sounds silly, but I’m desperate for help.”

Not silly at all! When I was first learning about eyeliner & eyeshadow, I did some hideous things. My eyes are quite an unusual shape, really big but also kind of almond, so the way most girls do their eye-makeup looks REALLY bad on me. If I line the inside of my eyes (which it appears about 90% of women do), I look like a little weasel & ditto if I try to do a “smokey eye”. I use colourful eyeshadow on an almost daily basis but when I do, I always use it around the outside of my eyes like you would with eyeliner, otherwise I look really tired. I will sweep eyeshadow across my eyelid occasionally but only with neutral colours — I have a very sheer gold & a light pink which work well for this purpose.

Experimentation is good for you, so don’t be afraid to try things out. As you can see from my experiences, not everything works for everybody, so really your best tools are a mirror & some time! I remember going to a M.A.C. counter years ago & asking what colour eyeshadows would suit me. They couldn’t really tell me, & instead suggested I just try a whole lot of different shades. I now wear various shades of blue, green, pink, purple & gold with great success.

Don’t try eyeshadow on the back of your hand. It really doesn’t tell you anything about how the colour will look on your eye since the skin is completely different. Try it on your eyelid, & if you don’t like it, just use some makeup remover & start again.

Remember to consider your skintone when trying eye makeup! I’m a winter & yellow eyeshadow makes me look like I am dying. It’s not very attractive.

Whatever your eye colour, try a colour which is next to it on the colour wheel. For example, I have blue eyes, & green & purple shadows look really good on me. If your eyes are green, try yellows & turquoise. If your eyes are brown, try oranges, golds & pinks.

Makeup artists are your friend. Most of them are great people & they absolutely love to try things out on willing victims participants! Take a digital camera with you so you can get an accurate assessment of the colour.

Buy a good eyeshadow brush & take care of it. Also, if you wet the eyeshadow brush before dipping it into the colour, it will go on more vibrantly & look brighter.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Style Report: Melbourne 02/07

[ 25 February 2007, 13:17 ]

Girls:

If under the age of 20, a big, black, back-combed nest with a huge combover fringe is de rigeur. Couple this with super-tight black jeans, graphic-print t-shirt in red or pink, & Converse. There is also a lot of jewellery featuring skulls, roses, bows & “antique”-looking keys which actually aren’t & cost $20. Big, round sunglasses are a must.

If over the age of 20, girls either go for dude-I’m-too-indie-for-you or a super-girly kind of ensemble.

The dude-I’m-too-indie-for-you look entails a pair of 80’s-inspired sunglasses, big hair, a top tucked into anything high-waisted (skirt or trousers), & high heels which don’t match anything else. It’s kind of androgynous & definitely different, but I wouldn’t call it stylish & it’s almost like dressing by numbers. Once you’ve seen it a bit, you could put something like it together easily. (Please see here for examples & evidence. That blog makes it look as if Melbourne exists in a graffiti’d alleyway, & it pretty much does.)

The super-girly look requires what we in the business call a “party frock”, meaning something dull & nu-floral (I just invented that but it works & you know what I mean, right?) cinched in with a vintage (or vintage-looking) belt around the waist. You must have long hair, ballet flats, a big tub of bronzer & very sparkly teeth to pull this off.

Boys:

If under the age of 20, please see above. There is less jewellery on the boys but certainly a lot of lip piercings & eyeliner.

If over the age of 20, there is some sort of “ironic kool” movement going on. Tight pants with naff sunglasses are popular, as are floppy overgrown hairstyles. Boys here wear quite good shoes which they like to shine a lot. Over all, Melbourne people are quite experimental & so it is rather exciting to see boys wearing waistcoats & hats, though at the moment it is pretty much too hot to do that. Tight, tailored suit jackets are acceptable night-time wear as well as skinny ties.

Notes:
I always thought Wellington, New Zealand was the emo capital. At least, until I moved to Melbourne. The amount of emo kids in this city absolutely blows my mind.
People here are very keen on getting tattoos on the underside of the top of their arm, near the armpit. Maybe it’s a badge of triumph, since I must tell you that getting tattooed there is quite painful.
Pointy shoes & leggings are very big here.

What’s going on style-wise where you live?

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Cleaning Out Your Wardrobe

[ 23 February 2007, 13:14 ]

The other day, I cleaned out my wardrobe. It didn’t take me long, since I already basically knew what had to go. When I was packing up my clothes to move to Australia, I was really dismayed by the amount of rubbish I’d collected… but packed it anyway, thinking that if I didn’t, I’d end up with nothing to wear.

Silly me. Obviously, at the time, I was pretty distressed (packing up my old life was hard), & I forgot about the fact that if there were items I didn’t wear at the time, I probably wouldn’t wear them in another country either. &, of course, I haven’t. They’ve been sitting in my chest of drawers, huge mounds of material, making it impossible to find the things I actually want to wear. Taking up space.

I can’t tell you how much better I feel to have done a clean-out. I’m a Virgo, & organisation totally thrills me, but I doubt the joy of the exercise is only felt by 1/12th of the population. Ideally, you should go through your wardrobe at least once a year. My mother does it twice a year — she has two closets (one in the bedroom, one in a spare room), one for autumn/winter & another for spring/summer. Twice a year she goes through, donates the old stuff to charity & switches them from room to room. Luxury. I hope to live a similar lifestyle!

The point is that while you may feel like your choices have lessened & you will look worse because of it, the opposite is true. After cleaning everything out, you are only left with the things you TRULY like; the things that actually fit, flatter you, suit you, look good. It means your outfits will consist solely of items that work. Initially, you may require a bit of experimentation (your jeans, which you love, now lack 3 average t-shirts that used to go with it), but you will find that once you change things around, you’ll have really great ensembles (your jeans can be worn with that perfect shirt!).

I have a huge bag of things to get rid of, & I have learnt a lesson from each one of them.

Lesson: Just because your friend is giving things away, you don’t need to take them.
Item: Punk style red tartan 3/4 straight-leg pants.
I don’t know what I was thinking. I barely wear red, I look awful in straight-legged pants, & they are just NOT my style. I thought I could make them work with combat boots, but they didn’t go with anything else in my wardrobe & looked awful on me. I felt bad for not wearing something that someone I adore gave me — so they just gotta go.

Lesson: Don’t buy things that come with a warning.
Item: Mint green fine-knit jersey from Ricochet.
I bought this item when I was first moving into wearing colour. I was obsessed with teal & all types of green, & when I went into Ricochet & saw this item on sale for $50, I whooped internally. When I looked at it, I noticed it had a huge tag attached to it which said something along the lines of, “BEWARE. THIS ITEM IS VERY DELICATE. DO NOT WEAR WITH JEWELLERY AS IT WILL SNAG EASILY.” I thought, oh pish posh, I can work with that. Well, it turns out… I’m not a very delicate person. I wear jewellery, I lean against walls, I hug people wearing strange, pointy outfits. The top was ruined within about a week. I kept it, because it’s so soft & lovely, but it looks like crap. Traumatic!

Lesson: Cheap does not necessarily mean good.
Item: The thousands of singlets in every colour of the rainbow.
Sure, the price is alluring. 2 for $20! Hell, I’ll have 4. But trust me, you will PAY for your scrooge tendencies. Man, am I paying. Cheap clothing is just that — cheap. It was made by a one-armed blind child in backwater nowhere for a pittance, & it looks like it. Or at least it will after a couple of washes. I promise. These plain tops are so good underneath cardigans, dresses, pretty much everything — but it’s really worth investing in good quality ones. That way you will be able to wear them next month, & even next year. Most of the inexpensive ones last about a month before stretching, fading & looking sad.

Lesson: Know when it’s time to move on.
Item: Short black with silver pinstripes ra-ra skirt from TopShop.
I loved it when I bought it. It went perfectly with the I’m-a-demented-circus-performer look I was curating at the time. It’s still cute to this very day… but it’s just not me anymore. Kiss it goodbye.

Lesson: Be careful when you buy things on Ebay.
Item: Pink & red striped knit sweater.
Points to remember: Always buy your size & for god’s sake, make sure the measurements match up. Don’t bid on it just because it’s cheap. Don’t buy it just because you are desperate to spend some money & it’s the one decent item your favourite seller has listed this week. Don’t buy it thinking that you will ‘make it work somehow’ — the truth is, you probably won’t. Think about what else you have first, & remember that clothing doesn’t change who you are!

It is so easy to make mistakes when shopping for clothing. As boring as it sounds, if you’re not sure, leave the item in the shop & think about it. Put it on hold if you’re worried someone else will buy it in your absence. If you’re still thinking about it days later, you know you really love it & you’re not just dying to spend some cash.

There are also plenty of good charities who could really use your clothing for people in need. Consider it the act of a good samaritan, as well as a smart dresser.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Learning How To Dress Up

[ 19 February 2007, 18:55 ]

“I’m completely sick of dressing down and jeans and such. I want to start wearing skirts and dresses and dress pants. I’d like to stick to black and red and white if possible. Any suggestions on where to start with completely re-vamping my wardrobe?”

Yes! This can be broken down pretty simply into a few steps:

Take stock of what you have
Go through your wardrobe & separate it into a few piles: Keep, Maybe & No. The first & last categories are fairly self-explanatory, but the middle pile (“Maybe”) needs a bit more thought. Try things on, see how they fit you & consider what else they go with. Get rid of the things you never want to wear again. You may find that the only way you stop wearing plain t-shirts is to donate them to charity.

Think about what you’d like to wear
You’ve said black, red & white are very appealing to you. I must suggest that you look at Miss Nubby Twiglet’s wardrobe photographs. She is the queen of all things red, white & black, & she wears a lot of those colours, but you will notice that she doesn’t stick solely to those options. She also occasionally delves into blue, green & gray. It is possible to make strong colour statements without limiting yourself, so maybe that is something to keep in mind.

Further to the above, think about specific items you can imagine wearing
If you’re trying to stay away from jeans, maybe wearing skirts & dresses will be a major part of your new direction. Work out where you’ll draw the line — would you wear a miniskirt or can you only imagine yourself in something long? Would you like to incorporate vintage into your wardrobe or are you happier in new things? Think about this a lot & put whatever you come up with on paper.

Go shopping for core pieces
Always dress to flatter your body shape & colouring! Look closely at how the clothing makes your body look. If you look lumpy, short or rotund, don’t buy it. You might want to take someone shopping with you — someone with good taste & who has the ability to tell you “no”. I always find that going shopping with my mother is an enlightening experience, she picks things off the rack that I would never have even considered — & they often look fantastic.

When I say core pieces, here these might include a coat, a good pair of trousers (since you said you wanted to wear dress pants more often), some skirts & dresses. Depending on whether you want to stick to black/white/red or branch out a little bit further, I would suggest going for a black coat. You could even go for a coat with a little bit of a pattern or something, but a red coat might be too much first thing in the morning & if you ever want to wear green, your red coat will make you look like a Christmas tree. You see what I mean?

In terms of dresses, I would go for a few different styles but hopefully dresses that can be worn in multiple ways — with a t-shirt underneath, with a sweater on top, over pants or bare-legged, etc.

Accessories
I love accessory shopping. Go crazy for these things since they enable you to wear the same outfit but look completely different simply by wearing good accessories. Buy hats, scarves, stockings, leggings, legwarmers, socks, hair accessories, necklaces, jewellery, headscarves, bags & shoes. (Glorious shoes!)

A note
Using a small colour palette can be tricky sometimes. It is quite rare to find a whole lot of things in the same shade of red, for example, so if you want to wear more than one red piece at a time it might be a bit of a trial.

Bonne chance ma petite!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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International Dress-Up Day This Saturday!

[ 16 February 2007, 10:26 ]

Hello kittens & other assorted small animals!

Just thought I would remind you that the first INTERNATIONAL DRESS-UP DAY is THIS SATURDAY!

The theme is: dress up as your favourite song!

My favourite song at the moment is “My Love” by Justin Timberlake (haha I am such a dork) but dressing as Cameron Diaz, or whoever his new love interest is, seems like a bit of a stretch.

One of my favourite songs of all time, however, is “Pour Me Another” by Atmosphere. If you haven’t heard it, you should. Basically the song is about getting over an unhealthy relationship. I’m going to use the following lyrics from the song as inspirational fodder:

Spill a little bit of blood on the streets for love.

Heal those cuts or hide ‘em underneath the polish, break another promise & take me as a hostage, hold your job down and let the zombies crowd around…

I can count the days ‘til you come back, or I can follow them sunrays down to the traintracks, I can stumble drunk over hope & love, or I could keep drinking until I sober up.

I’m going to dress like a love casualty. It ties in nicely with the Valentine’s Day thing, too. Lots of red, pink, ripped stockings, a super-pale face, red lipstick & bruises. Wish my friend Timmy Lee was here in Melbourne, he does the best fake bruises ever! I hope I don’t scare anyone at the Chinese New Year festivities too much!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Last Minute Valentine's Day Idea

[ 13 February 2007, 18:05 ]

If none of these ideas appeal to you, here’s a tip:

Tomorrow is the birthday of George Washington Gale Ferris Jr., who invented the Ferris Wheel! If you want to do something fun & celebratory but which doesn’t involve hearts, lace & general goobiness, take your beloved (or whoever) for a spin on a ferris wheel! If you’re not sure if there’s one near you, Wikipedia has an international listing of amusement parks.

Happy smoochin’!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Buy A Winter Coat

[ 13 February 2007, 14:23 ]

One of the most interesting things about the recent fashion week in New York is the fact that many designers (including Erin Fetherston & Zac Posen) profiled what they called “seasonless” collections, meaning that the garments in question could be worn in hot or cold weather with simple additions or subtractions. It’s another exciting thing about that supposed “space age” we’re moving into — great technology is now being utilised to make amazing fabrics which are more breathable, adaptable & versatile than ever before.

It’s quite funny to me really, since on my index card entitled “iCiNG” which has my article ideas, I have had “global warming/seasons?” written for at least a month. I have been wondering whether global warming would start to affect fashion, & if so, when? I got my answer.

So while people in the Northern Hemisphere are shivering in their slow-developing winter, those of us in the Southern Hemisphere are sweating it out in the heat, & pondering whether we’ll ever get to layer up again. Apparently cold weather is a good two months away for Australia, but I am already winter shopping in my mind.

As winter approaches, we are once again faced with that perennial question: What coat should I buy? Should I go for trendy or classic? What fabric is best? How much can I afford to spend? Never fear my lovelies, for I am here to quell your woes.

Planning out your coat for the next few months is as easy as answering 4 questions, absorbing the information below, & going out hunting with these things in mind.

What’s the weather going to be like?
Does your city rain & snow, or does it just get cold? Is it incredibly windy? Will it be a bit nippy or it will regularly plummet below zero? Working out the answer to this should be relatively easy. My point is that you will require a different sort of coat depending on how drastic the weather gets. If it snows or rains, you’ll need something waterproof & really warm. If it just gets cold, you can probably go for something in wool. I find that cold gales give me a headache, so when I lived in Wellington, New Zealand (possibly the windiest city in the entire world), it was quite important that I had a coat with a hood.

How do I dress?
Unless you are planning on drastically changing your wardrobe this winter, think about the things you wore last winter. You will probably still have some of them, so drag them out of your wardrobe & work out how they would look with a long, classic trench-coat, or a pea-coat, or a short cape. Sometimes, buying a dramatic coat can be the catalyst that makes you change your entire look, but you need to know whether you’re willing to do this before you buy it. If you can’t afford to re-fit yourself for the season, you might want to go with something a little easier to wear.

How much can I afford to spend?
There is a vast difference between an $800 coat & a $100 coat. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but no matter — you should always spend as much as you can possibly afford on a coat. If you buy the right one, it will keep you warm through the entire cold season, & look fantastic for years. If you regularly spend a lot on clothing, & buy a new coat every season, going for something trendy will probably work for you. If, however, a coat is an extravagance for you, keep it simple.

How warm is your working environment?
For the majority of people, most days you will wear a coat to & from work, but be sitting at your desk in between. What is the temperature like at your desk? Are you situated directly beneath an air-conditioning vent? Do you need lots of layers or do they keep it pretty toasty inside? Are you a smoker who has to duck outside every half an hour? All these factors will affect how much you need to wear under your coat, which will tell you how tight or loose the fit needs to be.

Other things to remember:

Make sure you really like your coat when you buy it. It is going to be worn over practically everything you own for at least a month. If it makes you feel dowdy, short or cheap, please don’t buy it. It will just make you unhappy & that is the opposite of the point of fashion! You should get something that makes you feel marvellous.

The quality of your coat is really important. When you try it on, check the seams & stitching, pay close attention to the collar to see whether it looks like it will lose its shape, & give all the buttons a good tug. Loose buttons are a bad sign — it may have been tried on by an overzealous customer but if the buttons are attached sloppily, the rest of the coat may be similar once you’ve worn it for a while.

Sometimes a coat isn’t what you need; sometimes a jacket would be better suited to your style. (When I say jacket, I mean something warm which comes down no further than your hips.) When buying a jacket, make sure it is long enough that if you’re wearing a slightly short top underneath, your belly won’t be sticking out. It will ruin your stylish ensemble & chill you to the bone, so don’t do it!

Consider the fabric. Do you want plain black, brown or camel? Do you dare to try to maintain a white coat? Would tweed suit you better? Try to think about it objectively. A red coat might seem like a great option, but after a week you may be sick of it & aching to wear another colour.

A fur coat can be a wonderful option. They are exceptionally warm & chic. Whether real or faux, again, make sure it goes with the rest of your wardrobe, & remember, even if you buy faux, it should never be poor quality. Again, always spend as much as you can.

You may not find the perfect coat right away. Keep looking. Try lots of different places, you might be surprised at what you’ll find. Try to enjoy the process if possible!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Wear Layers Without Looking Like A Crazy Bag Lady

[ 12 February 2007, 09:45 ]

This article is in response to the lovely S.‘s question, which was phrased something like, “how do I wear layers without looking mental?”.

With the entire world in a strange limbo, season-wise, getting dressed every morning kind be a trial. The weather is changing so radically that no one knows whether to wear sandals or boots, dresses or coats. If you layer your clothing, you can avoid this to a degree.

There are some places where you really need layers, like London in winter. It is so bitterly cold outside, but on the flipside, the tube is so bloody hot that you don’t know what to do with yourself. You could just bundle on three sweaters & be done with it, but the problem is that you’ll look like an American football player, & I don’t think many of us are aiming for that. “Gridiron Chic” has a long way to go.

When layering up, there are three key things you need to consider:

Length
Thickness
Fabric

If you have three tops which end at the same place, you’re going to look a bit dowdy. Likewise if you have three tops which are all the same thickness, or all the same fabric. If you’re wearing a whole lot of tops in the same fabric, you will find they don’t sit well against each other, they will kind of stick & bundle, therefore annoying you. If you can throw some silk or cashmere in with your cotton, you’ll be much happier. All of these factors need to be mixed up in order for this to work effectively. So you might try putting on these items:

Baby Rib Tank ($16)

Baby Rib 8-Button Pullover ($34)

Fleece Sleeveless Hoody ($30)

Long Tunic Cardigan ($29)

Wool Check Bomber Jacket (£45)

Grey Pencil Skirt (£20)

Cotton Spandex Jersey Leggings ($26)

Legwarmers ($14)

This is a very simple outfit, all solid colours except for the bomber jacket which breaks it up a bit. Everything here is from either American Apparel, Urban Outfitters or TopShop.

As you can see, these things are all different lengths. The dress & hoody are both sleeveless, which means you’re not going to have a huge bulky arm or be wearing five seams in your armpit — three (baby rib, cardigan, jacket) are enough. I’ve put legwarmers over leggings (which tend to be warmer than stockings unless they’re wool) because it’s far more flattering than two pairs of tights or the other option, which is pants tucked into ugg boots. (DON’T DO IT!) You could throw on any kind of shoes you liked with this outfit, since it’s kind of slouchy but stylish — sneakers, flats or heels would work equally well. I am an absolute nut for wearing legwarmers over wedges, it makes me feel all cloven-hooved, which I love.

Hope I helped!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Bindi Revival

[ 4 February 2007, 11:14 ]

Bindi… not just for Gwen Stefani anymore.

The more thought I give it, the more I am convinced that a bindi is the ultimate fashion accessory. They’re small, cheap & come in about a million different varieties. Plus they’re beautiful! You can go for the traditional style & place it between your eyebrows, but some of them look good next to your eye or dotted along your eyebrows. I like to wear one which matches my eye makeup in turquoise (seen above), purple or blue.

I think the best sort are the ones that come in individual containers. They’re usually a couple of dollars each, but if you get a good selection of colours you will probably be able to coordinate them with almost everything you wear. If you want to reuse them, & you probably will, buy a little bottle of cosmetic glue, like the sort of thing you attach false eyelashes with. You can make bindi last months this way.

The place where a bindi is typically applied — between the eyebrows — is the area of the sixth chakra, the seat of “concealed wisdom”. Apparently, wearing a bindi there helps retain energy & strengthen your concentration. It also protects against bad luck. (I am a total sucker for anything with a story.)

Of course, they’re not for everyone, & I wouldn’t advise wearing them anywhere boring, like an office or a formal dinner with dull people. Don’t feel guilty about misappropriation of culture, either. From Everything²:

Even in India, bindi have come to be seen as little more than stick-on jewelry

& from Wikipedia:

In modern times, the bindi has become a decorative item and is worn by unmarried as well as non-Hindu women, in India, Bangladesh and other countries of South Asia. ... Sticker bindis are also fashion icons worn for the pupose of self-decoration, as they come in all colours and exotic designs, sequinned, dusted with gold powder, studded with beads and glittering stones etc…

Extra For Experts:
Bindi entry on Everything²
Bindi entry on Wikipedia
Large selection for sale on Ebay

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Melissa

[ 3 February 2007, 16:09 ]

I Melissa shoes.

I already had one pair — the Emotion wedges in turquoise (seen here), which I adore. Today I bought a pair of Scarfun Summer wedges, designed by Alexandre Herchcovitch. They are gleaming black with a decisive wedge heel & great ankle strap. God, I love them.

I was actually on a quest for flat sandals, or really, ANYTHING to replace my jandals (or thongs or flip-flops or whatever you call them). I walked around yesterday wearing mine & they ripped my feet up. Ouch. I went to Melbourne Central, this huge mall across the road from my house, & went into at least 6 shoe shops. Nothing really appealed to me… but I went to Myer today & once I tried these on, I knew I had to own them. I felt a bit guilty at first, since theoretically summer will be over soon & they would then be relegated to the back of the cupboard. But then I realised I could wear them with stockings in winter too — & they will go perfectly with my new “cyber coquette” look.

Today I’m wearing them with a long white shirt over olive green short-shorts (barely visible). I feel excellent & sort of indestructible, which is kind of the aim of the cyber coquette thing — a seductive robot. Yup.

For those of you who don’t like buying shoes online (I don’t blame you), here is their list of stockists, which ranges from Patricia Field in NYC to Colette in Paris to Designer Clothing Gallery in Wellington, New Zealand. Best of all, they’re plastic, so they’re cheap & vegan-friendly! Yay!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Valentine's Day Treats

[ 1 February 2007, 06:54 ]

Okay. I know Valentine’s Day is a major sore point with a lot of people. Capitalist holiday, blah blah blah, yeah I know. I used to be part of the anti-Valentine’s brigade myself. I have since realised that being against anything is a huge waste of energy which I do my very best not to participate in. Cool fact, though: In Korea, on April 14th is a little celebration called “Black Day”, which is when men who didn’t receive valentines in February gather together & eat Jajangmyun, which are noodles in black sauce. (Thanks Wikipedia!) How awesomely bitter is it to be still holding the grudge two months later?!

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about ugly greeting cards & flowers given out of obligation. It’s just another day in which to express your appreciation for the people around you, plus the extra greatness of having more pink heart-shaped products than at any other time of the year!

Here are some suggestions if you want to buck tradition a little bit:

Avoiding the boredom of flowers & chocolates.
I can’t think of anything more dull than a dozen roses & a box of little brown lumps to eat. The sentiment is kind, but it completely lacks any imagination. Not to mention, I can’t think of anything more uncomfortable than sitting in a restaurant full of “couples” trying their best to be romantic. Aieee. If you can manage to do something a little unconventional for your lover (said: “lovah”), it will make you both feel incredible & is worth the small effort you put in.

Hold a treasure hunt for your girlfriend with something surprising at the end of it.
Take your boyfriend on a secret walk which ends in a picnic.
Drive to the sea with coffee in a thermos.
Book yourselves into a weird, crazy hotel (& refuse their “Valentine’s Day” package which is always cheesy, jump on the bed instead until you collapse in a hilarious, dizzy heap…) — for example, in Melbourne the Adelphi Hotel has a pool with a glass bottom which cantilevers over the street. (Other suggestions here & here.)
Go out dancing.
Buy them a paddling pool & inflate & fill it with bubble-bath before they get home.
Write their name in heart-shaped confetti on the bed.
Give them a Moleskine & a beautiful pen (best gift ever).
Have Valentine’s Day a couple of days early (or late — all the heart-shaped stuff will be on special!).
Eat huge pieces of pizza & kiss a lot.
Read them your favourite poem if you’re that kind of person, though it doesn’t have to be sappy: my favourite poem is by Andre Segui & called How The Bloom Leaves The Rose. It goes: “You don’t bring me flowers anymore Fuckface.”
Alternatively, belch their name. (You sicko.)
Take a bunch of polaroids & photobooth pictures.

Potential gifts:
Harness kit from Good Vibrations. (NSFW or under 18’s.)
Pink & orange heart ring or a Baronesse ring from Oompa.com
Black hoodie with a robot in a heart! From Backseat Kiss.
Buy them a pirate ship from Oompa.com. What does that have to do with Valentine’s Day? Nothing! But it is awesome. Shhhh.

Doing things for your friends.
If you don’t have a romantic interest, or you do but they’ve recently proven themselves unworthy of your affections, get together with a friend instead. You could even end up “friends with benefits” (do not attempt without the assistance of a trained professional).

Make them a mix CD of your favourite songs.
Write them a letter complimenting them on something they probably never think about.
Appear on their doorstep with a big tub of ice cream.
Buy them a goldfish (& a big cookie jar for it to live in).
Give them a stack of foreign fashion magazines tied with ribbon.
Go to an outdoor cinema & take a bottle of bubble mixture.
Sing songs on public transport.
Make them a video (& upload it to Youtube).
Buy them a copy of your favourite book.
Pay their library fines!
Help them arrange their house according to Feng Shui.
Frame your favourite photo of them & insist they hang it somewhere prominent.
Write them a love-letter in chalk on the pavement outside their house.

Potential gifts:
Broken-heart fingerless gloves from Hot Topic.
Have a fake tea-party with Oompa.com.
Buy them pink Nicole Richie-style sunglasses from Fred Flare.
Threadless (purveyors of quality t-shirts) are having a sale where you can buy any 2 of the same style (regardless of size) & save $10. Not a bad deal. I like Nature’s Balance, Afternoon Delight, Sex Sells & my old favourite, Damn Scientists.

Show your family that you love them.
Assuming you’re not estranged from them, of course. You know your parents don’t get the respect they deserve — & even if you call them every week, it’s not really enough. Be good to them, & your siblings too. Take your grandma some flowers, listen to your grandfather’s stories, write your parents a note telling them why you love them, take your sister shopping, buy your brother a tattoo.

Indulge in a little self-lovin’.
Be good to yourself. You deserve it. No, shush! I won’t have a bar of it! You don’t need to spend any money if you don’t want to, just take the opportunity to chill out & do whatever your sweet little self desires. (Eat cherries in the bath & then watch an entire season of your favourite show, if that’s what it takes.) But a little retail therapy never hurt anyone.

Potential gifts:
Heart watch necklace. Too cute. Japanese kids wear all manner of trinkets around their neck, you should too.
Fall In Love, It’s Fun bag from Lenko. Though… you know… it’s optional. (I just think it’s cute.)
Pressed seal necklaces from Jestjewels.com. I love just about every single one of these.

If you feel like buying something a little raunchier, see below. The links are naughty, so if you’re under 18, don’t click on them! ...‘Cause no one under the age of 18 is even AWARE of anything going on below the hips. Ya.
Magic Touch Bullet Mini — for, well, anywhere. Keep it in your handbag, it’ll get used.
Rabbit Pearl — of Sex & The City fame.
The Minx — pink with marabou feathers & Swarovski crystals around the base. No, I’m not kidding.

These are just some of my ideas — I’m sure you can come up with something amazing yourself! Anything that has had some thought put into it will make all the difference. Maybe to you a picnic is commonplace, but treating your meat-loving boyfriend to a steak (when you’re vegetarian) is the most meaningful thing you can think of. Do whatever feels right for you!

Above all, remember that Valentine’s Day isn’t an excuse to be awful to everyone the rest of the year!

Extra For Experts:
Read my article on kissable lips in preparation for a smoochfest!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Signature Scents

[ 31 January 2007, 20:43 ]

Coco Chanel said that you should wear perfume wherever you want to be kissed, & when Marilyn Monroe was asked what she wore to bed, she replied “two drops of Chanel No.5”. Of course, both statements were excellent P.R. for Chanel’s perfumes. I, personally, have never understood the appeal of Chanel No. 5. It’s lacking something.

These, however, are perfect — which is why I own them.

Lolita Lempicka Midnight
This is the grown-up version of the original Lolita Lempicka. Midnight is romantic & a more than a little dirty. Lolita is the perfect name for it — it smacks of adventures & forbidden love. Definitely the fragrance of a nymphet. I was about to buy the original Lolita Lempicka when I discovered that Midnight had just been released. I tried one on each wrist — initially I found it hard to pick the difference, but the more I smelt them, the more obvious their differences became. Midnight is longer-lasting, stronger & poutier, while I would say the original is lighter & more of a daytime fragrance. (Reviews.)

Demeter’s Birthday Cake & Violet & Champagne Brut.
I am a fan of combining Birthday Cake with Champagne Brut — totally the birthday party you wish you were having. I personally think Champagne Brut smells more like Nerds candy than anything alcoholic, but I think of that as a positive thing. Violet is a bit old-lady, & I threw it out one day when I was moving house. I regret it though, since sometimes I want to smell like an old woman. I am weird, I know. (Reviews for Birthday Cake, Champagne Brut & Violet.)

M.A.C.‘s MV2
I think this is pretty much the sexiest fragrance in existence. In fact, I was reading some reviews of it just now & had to run from my desk to put some on. God, I smell good. MV2 is a deep, spicy, delicious vanilla. It’s difficult to describe, though — I think maybe if a beautiful pink cupcake was wearing Louboutin heels & lying in an all-white bed, it would smell like this. Bizarre imagery, I know, but it’s the best I could do! (Reviews.)

Miss Dior Cherie
To me, Miss Dior Cherie smells like strawberry sorbet & youth. It smells like your first little black dress, a glamorous romance, boy bait. I received this at Christmas in 2005, & given the way my life was at that time, whenever I wear it these days, I feel sexy, desired, powerful & totally free. It is quite incredible. When I first smelt it, I wasn’t sure I liked it, but it grew on me very quickly. It’s not the sort of thing I normally go for, since it’s so fruity, but I absolutely love it now. It transforms me. (Reviews.)

I am pretty keen on the idea of these, too:

Demeter’s Cotton Candy, Riding Crop & Chocolate Covered Cherries. I think Cotton Candy & Riding Crop together would be an amazing combination. It would certainly surprise people… & it could definitely lead to mischief.

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s Lolita sounds good, too. Humbert Humbert’s heart just skipped a beat. This is the quintesscential American nymphet scent: sweet and girly and innocent, with a bit off crass, bratty impertinance thrown in. Bubble gum sweetness (with built-in petulancy — you can just hear Lolita smacking her gum impatiently and rolling her eyes), heliotrope, lemon and a bit of seductive cherry.

As you can probably tell, I have a definite affection for anything that smells sweet but has a sexy twist. When I worked at Lush, I smelt like a walking Lush shop (& would often have people at bus stops ask me if I had been there recently). I was delighted when I quit, since it meant I could actually wear perfume & not have it overpowered by a menagerie of soap! Ebay is an absolute godsend, in that it enables me to buy small samples of perfume before committing to a huge bottle of anything (& to give you some indication, I have never finished a bottle of anything except Hypnotic Poison, my signature scent when I was about 15). On sad days I like to wear Thierry Mugler’s Angel — it smells like my mother (& my lovely friend Jo).

Do you wear perfume, body spray, scented lotion? What do you smell like on a daily basis? Vanilla pomade & earl grey & Marlboro lights? Your boyfriend’s deodorant & spearmint chewing gum? What do you like your lovers to wear? Tell me! I want male opinions too!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Daily Outfit -- 31st January 2007

[ 31 January 2007, 14:30 ]

Daily Outfit, 31st January 2007.

(Like the sneak preview of me at my desk?)

Navy blue silk headscarf (from my mother)
Blue-framed sunglasses (given to me by my friend Amanda at Burning Man last year)
Super-cheap t-shirt from generic chainstore
Gold vinyl high-waisted pencil skirt (from my friend Ana)
Black open-toed slingbacks
Three thin metal bracelets, watch from Fossil, ‘Black Onyx’ nailpolish by O.P.I., string of black beads

I’m going for a Parisian theme recently. I think it’s because of the black manicure — I feel that the only people who really carry this off effectively are either the French, goths or emo kids (& I would prefer to feel French). The black takes some getting used to. I haven’t had my nails this colour since I was actually, ahem, goth. (Don’t tell anyone.) At first I did, indeed, feel like Goth Hands McGotherson, but now I like it. I think the way to do is to set it with a lot of gloss & keep it immaculate. Also I think that if my nails were pointed, rather than the square shape that they are, they would definitely be veering into goth territory.

I did a wardrobe clean-out a couple of days ago, & am re-evaluating a whole lot of things I barely wear. Like, for example, this skirt. Previously I never wore it because the top & bottom 5cm of the skirt are unlined, meaning in summer it stuck to me — but I think that with a bit of jiggery-pokery in the petticoat department, I can fix that problem. Seems to be working thus far.

I feel very glamorous. I think it’s the lipstick (M.A.C. Red). Wearing red lipstick more often was one of my style resolutions for the year. I think I’m doing very well.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Dress Up A School Uniform

[ 30 January 2007, 12:34 ]

How, indeed? School uniforms are ugly, unflattering & a violation of rights. I wore a uniform for my entire school-going career, so please believe me when I say that I feel your pain.

There are various ways of stamping your own mark on these dowdy articles. Most teenagers end up with shortened skirts, their shirt untucked, holes in their sweater & scuffed shoes — but this is hardly stylish. It really only cements you in your place as a petulant child: not a good look. (The key is to remain petulant but be sneaky about it. I am petulant to this day but it’s a big secret.)

The extent to which you can accessorise will depend on how strict your school is, but sometimes it’s worth causing a sensation in the morning (even if they do confiscate your things at lunchtime). Remember, they have no right to permanently keep anything you take to school (unless it’s something ridiculous like cigarettes, alcohol or drugs), so don’t worry about it too much.

I am fond of the following from Epictetus: “Know, first, who you are; & then adorn yourself accordingly.” If you’re in high school, your body’s probably going crazy every day & things will be changing so quickly you can’t keep up. It can be easy to look around you & be overwhelmed, or to feel pressured to be like everyone else — but it is a choice. Being your own person may not be the easiest choice, & in fact it may bring you pain initially, but eventually, you’ll be glad you did what YOU wanted. (You are probably sick of hearing this kind of thing, but it is important.) Anyway, my point is that this isn’t going to be a blow-by-blow guide on How To Look Cool™, since there is no such thing. Instead I’ll present you with some suggestions & you can take or leave ‘em as you please.

Decoration:
If you can wear a non-regulation coat, buy one which is knee-length & either belted or nipped at the waist.
Start collecting brooches: lots of them. Different ones for different moods. Try to avoid badges (unless they are exceptionally stylish) but snap up any interesting school pins you see. My friend Ana has one she wears all the time which says “Head Librarian”, & to this day I wear a pin with the St. Kentigern crest on it. This sort of thing will cause confusion & delight amongst your peers. Pin them on your sweater or blazer lapels.
Accessorise with hats, scarves & gloves (especially fingerless ones, since you can write with them on). Check out the knit berets from Urban Outfitters (in charcoal, cream, pink & blue) & when shopping, look for oversized knit hats or tea-cozy hats. Get one in a colour that complements the rest of your school attire.
Wear vintage silk scarves on your head when you’re having a bad hair day.
Switch your generic shoelaces for a pair that make you smile — The Sunny Eccentrics have a huge variety.
Instead of boring black lace-up shoes, try a pair of ankle boots, mary janes (with a platform!) or crazy sneakers. If your school will let you get away with wearing legwarmers, do that too.
Look for interesting hair accessories!

Jewellery:
Wear strands of pearls or costume jewellery around your neck — they will only show momentarily behind your shirt & tie & will look fantastic.
The Carrotbox has the biggest range of rings anywhere online that I have seen. They sell some great stuff: I am especially fond of the tall Murano glass bands (though I broke mine, never bang it against anything!), plastic rhinestone hearts, glassfiction (made by the site owner), & the glittery Murano glass bands.
Girlprops.com have diamante initial rings which I LOVE — spell out something crass across your hand (though I would probably just settle for “Gala”).

Bags:
One thing everyone needs at school is a bag. A tote with a design that you like is going to get a lot of mileage, as you lug books to & fro like some demented packhorse. Here are some that I like:
White Palazzo Damask Laptop Bag — this is beautiful & would be my pick.
ModCloth has a huge range of really awesome totes & pencil-cases. They also have clutches but you know, they’re more a weekend thang.
Museum of Fine Arts, Boston has a cute French fashion tote which I like very much.
Hand-stamped Warhol tote from Enderby on Etsy… but Etsy has a total of 5362 totes for sale, so have a look.

Other:
Get a regular manicure, or at least do your nails regularly yourself. (If you bite them, an expensive manicure that you have to pay for might be all the incentive you need to keep your fingers out of your mouth.) You will feel & look much better.
Museum of Fine Arts, Boston has a blank journal with a marionette on the cover (drawn by Georges Lepape), which would look good on top of a stack of history books.
Paperchase has a great range of notebooks & stationery too. Your yearly diary doesn’t have to be boring!
Let a Jolly Roger umbrella protect you on the walk home.
I love this Classic Valentines lunchbox, but I’d probably use it as a pencil-case…

Extra For Experts:
Not so much style, but the books that got me through the hell that was school were:
Star Girl by Jerry Spinelli, a book about a girl who refused to be like anyone else
Dangerous Angels by Francesca Lia Block, an incredible book which I still love & re-read regularly. Also, when I was in school I was convinced that I was Witch Baby
& American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. What can I say? I was a weird kid.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Makeup Basics Part Two -- Makeup Application

[ 29 January 2007, 13:57 ]

This is part two of my three-part series on makeup basics. The first article is here & covers skincare. Here is the email that started it all:

Being a guy I don’t usually wear makeup, but on occasion when going out I’ll throw some mascara on and maybe some nail polish. I like to be exuberant at times and was thinking of getting some eye shadow too. But in honesty I know next to nothing about the basics of makeup. Can you enlighten me?

Dear Soon-To-Be-Enlightened,

Hello again! Hopefully now you have a skincare routine which, as the name implies, you are practicing routinely. The next step is to go to a department store & talk to the sales consultants milling around the makeup counters.

My absolutely favourite brand is M.A.C. Cosmetics. I am always impressed by their products & it is a rare occasion that I will use something from another company. You should see my makeup drawer, it is an exercise in branding. Anyway, go to a counter that appeals to you. Every company has its different strengths & weaknesses, but you should only buy from a counter where they make you feel good & are helpful. There’s nothing wrong with getting them to test some products on you & then going away & seeing how long they last. Foundation, for example, often looks different on your skin in natural light than it does under the harsh lighting in a department store.

After I have gone through my skincare routine (cleanser, toner, moisturiser), I ALWAYS apply a primer to my face. My favourite is by M.A.C. (surprise surprise), but Napoleon Perdis does a good one too. I honestly don’t know how I survived without it, it is absolutely incredible. I can’t explain how it works, it’s too tricky for me to understand, but the effect is that it will smooth out your skin, giving you a wonderful base to work from & stopping your pores from absorbing your makeup — meaning it will last longer without needing to be re-applied. I use a face primer, but you can also buy primers for the eyes & lips. I haven’t used them, but I imagine the formulation is slightly different.

For Women:
You will want concealer, foundation, powder, mascara & blush to start. Eyeliner, lipstick & eyeshadow are optional extras & come in every colour of the rainbow. Once you start experimenting further with makeup, you will also want a few really good brushes. They make all the difference when it comes to how you look. They are expensive but worth it. Trust me on this!

Foundation:
The way you apply it will depend on the sort you buy, but you should use either a (slightly damp) wedge-shaped sponge or a makeup brush to make it look flawless. You don’t need to put it all over your face if you don’t want to — just dotting it on the areas you want to cover will do the trick. Be sure to blend your foundation well (especially around your chin, nose & hairline) & don’t use too much. It’s better to start with too little than look like you’ve applied it with a spatula!

Concealer:
You can apply this before your foundation if you like but I find that it tends to get wiped away if I do it in that order. I don’t use a lot of concealer normally, only to cover up blemishes & I usually put a bit underneath my eyes to disguise any dark circles I might have. Again, the key is to blend. When buying concealer, a lot of people buy it in a colour which is too light to hide spots or dark circles, then wonder why they look blotchy. Go darker!

Powder:
After the foundation & concealer, set with powder. Just take the powder puff & apply it softly to your face.

Blush:
Dip your brush in your blush. Look at the fullest part of your cheek. That’s where we’re aiming for. If you’re still not sure, suck your cheeks in to see where your “apples” are (no, I don’t know why they’re called that). Stroke your brush across this area & back toward your temples. Once you feel like there’s enough on, take a cotton ball & blend it in so it looks natural — a big streak of blush is nasty & probably not the look you’re going for.

Mascara:
It is amazing what an eyelash curler will do. So buy one! When I use one in conjunction with a liberal coating of mascara, I have had people ask if I’m wearing false eyelashes. (This is a good thing, since I’m terrible at applying falsies.) Curl your eyelashes — only the top ones (!). Go slow, be gentle… It hurts to catch your eyelid by mistake. I curl my eyelashes three times before moving onto the others. When you take the wand out of your tube of mascara, dab it on a tissue to get off the excess. Then take the wand & slowly move it from the root of your top eyelashes to the end. Initially you will blink like mad while doing this, but just go slowly. Work your way from the inside (nearest your nose) to the outside. Then repeat on the other eye. To do your bottom eyelashes, just lightly dot mascara on the ends of your lashes — too much & you will look tired & cracked-out.

Eyeliner, eyeshadow & lipstick are all fairly personal things — everyone does these things in a different way. I have met very few people who wear eyeshadow the way I do — I find that (with the exception of a couple of shades) shadow all over my eyelid makes me look tired, so I wear it just around the outside of my eye, more like a liner than anything. The point is that you should experiment with what works for you. I recommend booking yourself in for a makeover at a counter. Get the most bang for your buck by asking lots of questions & getting tips so you can recreate it at home.

Also, if you’re wearing lipstick, you should also buy a lip-liner in a matching colour. This will stop the lipstick from bleeding & looking messy. Apply the lip-liner first, then follow up with lipstick. Some people say that if you apply liner slightly outside your natural lip line, this will make them look plumper… but some people say this will make you look like a ridiculous clown. Proceed with caution my darlings!

For Men:
Thank your lucky stars, it’s much easier for you, as (unless you’re a drag queen) you’re probably going to want to wear less makeup. I went to my local M.A.C. counter this morning & spoke to a makeup artist & got some tips for men. She said that a lot of men go in there & buy concealer & bronzer, so don’t feel shy!

Remember to go through your skincare routine first (cleanse, tone, moisturise) & once your moisturiser has soaked in (give it five minutes), smooth primer all over your face. Leave this about five minutes as well, then onto the good stuff!

Foundation:
I suggest you use M.A.C. Select Tint SPF 15. It’s very lightweight & practically invisible to the eye — you’ll look much smoother but no one will know why. It’s oil-free, so for those of you with troubled skin (prone to breakouts or ouchy red shaving rash), it should be very easy to wear & present no problems. Another great thing about it is that it has SPF in it, so it’ll help protect your face when you’re out in the sun. When buying this stuff, I strongly recommend going to a makeup counter to get the right colour. Tempting though it may be to buy it online, do it properly, otherwise it’s a complete waste of money. There is nothing worse than foundation which is the wrong colour!
To apply, squeeze a little of the foundation onto a brush (I like M.A.C.‘s 190 Foundation Brush, but at $75 Australian, you might want to buy a cheaper one) & blend it across your face. Don’t use too much, & if it starts to look too heavy, feel free to take it all off (use some toner on a cotton pad) & start again. I usually start on one cheek, work my way down to my chin, then do my other cheek, nose, forehead, & around my eyes. The most important thing is that you blend it in well, which basically just means you need to use the brush a lot — don’t slap it on, rub it in. This will prevent you from looking like a bad transvestite. Yay!

Concealer:
If you still have some blemishes after applying your foundation, or dark circles under your eyes which you want to hide, concealer is your next step. I like M.A.C.‘s Select Cover-Up, since, like the Select Tint foundation, it is essentially invisible. If you use these two products in conjunction you will look flawless & delicious.
To apply, put small quantities (as in, VERY small quantities) of the concealer on a brush designed specifically for the purpose. (M.A.C. does a Concealer Brush, but again, it’s expensive. Worth every penny, but expensive, so if you can’t quite splash out on a great brush just yet, you can buy them from pharmacies for a fraction of the price. You can always upgrade later!) Press the brush against whatever you’re trying to hide, then blend the colour in well. Simple, & you’ll get better with practice.

Powder:
This is an optional step but in terms of setting your foundation so it doesn’t slide off, it’s a good thing to use. M.A.C. has an incredible Blot Powder, which will do the trick while also helping to prevent shininess. It’s a good thing to carry around with you. I always have it in my bag in hot climates, especially if I’m going out dancing. The other great thing about the Blot Powder is that it doesn’t add any extra colour or visible weight, so if you’re going for the of-course-I’m-not-wearing-makeup-what-are-you-talking-about? look, it’s perfect. Just press the puff against your face: cheeks, nose, chin, forehead.

Eyebrows:
If you’re concerned that your eyebrows are a bit wild, you could try M.A.C.‘s Brow Set in Clear, which will help stick down all those little stragglers that escape when you’re caught in a gust of wind.

If you want to get a bit more experimental with eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara or anything else, I recommend talking to a professional! Most makeup counters will do a makeover for very little money (& the fee can usually be put toward products, too). There are so many different ways you can wear makeup, so don’t be afraid to experiment & learn from someone with an arsenal of brushes & colours!

Extra For Experts:
Drag Queen Makeup 101!
Wikipedia’s entry on cosmetics.
Malespecies.com sells a variety of products for men.
Strawberrynet.com (weirdest name ever) has a huge range of discounted cosmetics — very good service.
Sephora.com: your online beauty mall.
“Men belly up to the makeup bar” — article from the Chicago Tribune.
“Men develop enthusiasm for makeup” — article from The Press.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Fashion Report: Summer/Autumn 2007

[ 29 January 2007, 11:10 ]

Stop the presses! My personal fashion report leading through to the middle of the year.

I call this the “cyborg coquette”, combining the best elements of the 40’s, 60’s & the future. Glamour is important & grooming is a top priority. Work from a good base of neutrals (black, white, cream, camel, khaki, olive, beige) & supplement with bright slicks of cobalt blue, shocking pink, fire-engine red, vibrant turquoise, electric green, bright yellow.

Go for super-short dresses with a mod edge, worn with huge shoes — now is the time to learn to walk in them. Interesting stockings with a lot of texture & colour. Well-tailored pants with a wide leg should be worn with devastating heels or boots. Hunt out knitwear with avant-garde, surprising details & unusual lengths.

Hair is sleek & futuristic with an eccentric twist. Eyebrow-skimming, perfectly flat bangs are The Thing. (Invest in a ceramic hair straightener.) You will require a shiny (but small) clutch to hold sunglasses, cigarettes, cellphone, Moleskine & hipflask for short walks to the library — but for social occasions, a big bag is essential. Slung over a shoulder, it will add a casual air to a more formal outfit, helping prevent it from looking too perfect. For a more dressed-down version of this look, go harajuku/cyber: pair with funky stockings, legwarmers, brightly coloured beanies & knit-caps. On sore-feet days, wear flat but simple boots.

“Is this testing whether I’m a replicant, or a lesbian, Mr Deckard?”

MORE: Pearls worn with a super-modern ensemble, like a space-age Coco Chanel. Mirrored sunglasses (to maintain the mystery) removed to reveal a coy beauty-spot & doll-like blush. Shiny accessories: cuffs & collars in patent, mirror & plastic. Luminescent skin helps cultivate that I’m-not-entirely-human-yet look. Pouty lips in sugared pink or red are essential. Curl, colour & learn to look up through your eyelashes for optimal Humbert-snaring. Cultivate a fake accent for the season & bluntly admit to its inauthenticity. Insane accessories — make it fun by buying things with flashing lights from toy stores, anything with a child’s rocket motif, wear this hoodie.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Super Street Style or Why These People Look So Damn Good

[ 28 January 2007, 17:11 ]

Some of my favourite recent looks from Flickr & Hel-Looks. Daily outfits with a twist, yessir.

Roxanne (also has persephassa.com). Somebody on a Livejournal community recently asked how do you feel about colour combinations of black/navy, brown/black? & I answered, bring it on! When done well, it looks great. I think Roxanne proves my point very well — the brown belt around the black dress looks excellent. I love the high-heeled mary janes & the white collar with the white stockings. White stockings can be hard to wear since can make you look kind of plump, but I think that if you only show from the knee down, it looks great, as seen here.

I love the proportions of this outfit — that enormous hooded sweatshirt with the leggings & bizarrely-laced boots. The latex mask across the eyes is great too. Not an outfit for everyday, but certainly an interesting look.

I’m not sure about the stockings. The outfit is quirky enough without them, something a bit simpler would have been more effective. But the hat is perfect, the dress is fabulous, I love the brooch on the dress & the handbag as well. On closer inspection, it appears that she might be pregnant?! If so, she is definitely the most well-dressed pregnant woman I have ever seen.

This outfit isn’t too amazing (gothic lolita style is a bit easy & has never really grabbed me in a big way), but I love the enormous hair in conjunction with the scarf around the neck. Beautiful.

She is immaculate! So stylish it hurts! Let’s see: her umbrella, sweater, gloves, stockings & heels are all in a matching shade of tangerine. The black jacket with the elaborately-knotted (& detailed) scarf is just too divine for words, & I like the extra splash of mustard yellow in the skirt. Makes the outfit a little different, rather than just sticking to black + tangerine. Even better, she looks like she KNOWS how good she looks, & is proud of it. Good for her! I bet she has the most incredible house.

These two look great, don’t they? I suspect they look better as a unit than alone — they set off the other person’s look wonderfully. The flowing blonde locks work really well on both of them. I like his hat (& the way it makes his ears look pixie-esque), though I would have undone the last button on the jacket. I also don’t think I have ever seen pants so tight. (I hear it’s bad for the sperm count.) She is gorgeous, which helps, but I like the rustic/vintage/childlike look she has going on here. Great saddle shoes (so adorable!) & the feathers hanging off the bag totally make it.

I love the way she’s coyly peering out from behind her bleached hair. Can you tell I am totally into the bandanna-around-the-neck thing? She’s wearing hers over a hoodie (clever), & then covering the hoodie with a black tunic with an incredibly odd cut. Cute ripped jeans with black stockings underneath, & did you notice her bag?! Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck! I bet she found it in a vintage store for $3 & it made her day.

Great hat, great scarf, great jacket. The hat, jacket & shoes all match which makes the outfit work really well. Hints of blue in the scarf & a blue hoodie with dark-wash jeans. So cool. He knows he looks good, too, just like the girl with the tangerine umbrella. He is also toting a Mickey Mouse bag — maybe that’s big in Scandinavia at the moment (does anyone know?). I love a guy who isn’t afraid to carry a bag. Props to you, my friend!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Walk In High Heels

[ 27 January 2007, 21:20 ]

I recently received this email & thought it was a topic that needed covering. I have imparted what I know, but if you have any additional tips, please feel free to let me know via the comments!

Wandering around the city on my lunch break today, I noticed that many girls seemed to be having quite a bit of difficulty walking in their high heels. Have you considered writing an article on how to walk in high heels gracefully &/or with the least amount of pain?
A.

Dear Ms. A.,

I know exactly what you mean, & it really hurts to watch. If you’re clomping around like a bad transvestite, the desired effect of looking elegant & glamorous is usually lost. Not to mention, a complete waste of good shoes. You might as well be shlepping around in a pair of gumboots, hey?

Some women think that high heels are for certain occasions only, like going out to a ball or for a fancy dinner. Yes, heels are suitable then, but have a little imagination! You can wear heels whenever you please, & once you know how to wear them, will probably be very keen on teetering around on them.

The main thing to remember is that different situations call for a different sort of heel. Which shoe you wear will depend on where you are going & what you are doing. This can knock the wind out of being spontaneous, but if you suspect that later in the night you will be in a fountain somewhere, you can always slip a pair of flats into your bag. Though, really, if you’re determined enough, you can do anything in your heels. I once climbed a tree (in winter) in a pair of slingbacks with heels that were about 12cm high. (That’s almost 5 inches to you.) Then again, I had been drinking. Great fun though!

Key factors to consider when selecting a shoe for the evening:
The weather forecast. Rain will ruin suede, satin & your evening.
Transport. Do you drive? Catch taxis? What are the chances of you needing to run for a bus or train? If you walk 3 miles every day, a stiletto is probably not your best choice.
Potential hazards. Rain, ice, slippery marble floors, uneven surfaces, deep smooshy carpet, gravel, cobblestones.

Wear something sane! There are some shoes that are only appropriate for answering the door, kissing & walking (or being carried) to the bedroom. Truth. If you’re going to be dancing, I suggest something with a strap. I know that the idea of dancing in heels sounds like absolute torture, but I once danced for 12 hours in a pair of (very high) wedges (with a strap). The next day, my feet were right as rain.

How to buy a pair of heels:

Have your feet measured.

Make sure the shoes fit your LARGEST foot. It is strange & upsetting that we all have two different sized feet, but you need to accommodate the biggest one. (If there is a huge size difference, be sneaky & switch the pairs when your sales assistant isn’t looking. Ahem. I do not advocate this, it is merely information.)

If you’re going out for a day of shopping, do the shoes at the end of the day, after hours of walking around. This is when your feet will be at their most swollen, & believe me, you want your shoes to fit at this crucial time.

When you try the shoes on in-store, walk around on them for a good length of time. Your shoes will fit differently when you stand as opposed to when you are sitting. If they are uncomfortable, don’t buy them. They will not stretch much either, so if they feel like they’re pinching, try the next size up. Stiff shoes will soften, however.

If your toes touch the end of the shoe, & your heel slides out of the back when you walk, they are not the right size.

Make sure your shoe is wide enough!

You get what you pay for. It is sad but true. Manolo Blahnik’s are expensive because, while they are extremely good-looking, they are also incredibly comfortable.

If you don’t know how to wear heels, or have only recently become interested in making the transition from sneaker to stiletto, go easy on yourself. First of all, you are to be commended for trying something new. Hooray! Secondly, when buying your first pair of heels, buy a pair which are reasonably low with a wide heel (or in a wedge style). Otherwise, the odds are that you will go ass-over-tit & never wear them again. We don’t want that. You should also avoid the excessively pointy-toed style, since they’re not the most comfortable.

How to walk in high heels:
Take shorter steps (striding is for professionals), & walk in a heel-toe motion. Try to distribute most of the weight across the ball of your foot. Stand up straight — you will initially feel unbalanced, but you’re not. The heel will support you. Keep your legs together as you walk & try not to bend them more than you normally would.

Finally, practice makes perfect! The more you work at it, the better you’ll be.

Extra For Experts:
Wikipedia has information on the different types of heels (scroll to the bottom).
If your feet hurt, don’t wear heels. It is impossible to be happy when your tootsies are killing you — you learn this one working in retail very quickly.
Never drive in heels, platforms or wedges! Keep a pair of flats in your backseat, or slip your shoes off to drive.
For a good, old-fashioned droolfest.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Age Gracefully

[ 26 January 2007, 22:11 ]

I recently had an email from a woman who is nearing 60 years old. She is in incredible shape (I should know, I saw the photos) & has great style but is caught in the trap of getting older & being unsure what to do about it. She has thought about getting cosmetic surgery, but after a run-in with the wife of a big-shot celebrity (think Michael Douglas’ family tree), was disturbed when she realised that if these people with more money than sense can end up with hideously botched work, what would happen to someone like her?

The other thing is that cosmetic surgery still isn’t completely safe. Novelist Olivia Goldsmith, writer of The First Wives Club died in 2004 during “minor plastic surgery”. Call me opinionated, but some things are worth dying for — & some are not. For me, cosmetic surgery falls quickly into the latter category. It is so unnecessary. You’re getting old: you know it & we know it too. No amount of cosmetic surgery is going to hide that fact.

Of course, this is no reason to buy orthopedic shoes (unless you need them!) or to start wearing a twin-set & pearls & never look back. You don’t have to cut your hair short or get a blue rinse. You should always stay true to yourself, regardless of age. Epictetus said, “Know, first, who you are; & then adorn yourself accordingly.” (I like this quote much better than “you’re only as old as you feel”, which is cheesy, or “you’re only as old as the women you feel”, which is just revolting!)

The only rule is that there are no rules. One thing I would encourage is that you age gracefully — however you define that. The most amazing women I have met are not people who have been under the knife. One of them is my mother. She is 60 this year, runs a successful business & dresses with amazing style. She is never going to be a senior citizen to my eye — she takes great care of herself. Another is an ex-boyfriend’s mother. She has long hair, midway down her back, & she has been grey since her mid-twenties. She regularly colours her hair with henna, & it is a vibrant, radical orange. She is happy & loving & it makes her seem much younger than she is.

Nobody likes wrinkles, but they are going to happen. It’s just a fact of life. You should be happy you have wrinkles — it means you’re not dead! However, here are some things that will aid you in aging gracefully, & remember, it is never too early, or too late, to start.

Take good care of your skin.
Remove your make-up every night. Moisturise. Read my skincare article if you need a refresher course. Use an eye cream & a neck cream, but don’t just go for the most expensive stuff, since often there is no evidence it is any better than the products you can buy in a supermarket. Do your research! Read Don’t Go To The Cosmetics Counter Without Me by Paula Bedoun (though I would advise you take it with a grain of salt since everything she writes is very angry-sounding & that makes me wary). Use Google to learn about products, read what other women are saying in online forums. A tip: You can pierce a Vitamin E capsule & apply the oil to the fine lines around your eyes & mouth for a quick, inexpensive treatment that works really well.

USE SUNSCREEN EVERY DAY.
Normally I would put this under the “take good care of your skin” section, but it’s so important it deserves its own heart. Every time I see someone with sunburn or a woman with a wrinkly, leathery décolletage, I cringe (& hope they don’t see). Painful. Respect your body! Please!

Look at your family.
Examine your genetic background. Does your family have a history of heart disease or cancer? How are the older members of your family aging? Then do some research to find out how you can help prevent going down the same track.

Eat well.
Vegetables are good for you, & green leafy ones especially — they usually have the most nutrients & vitamins. (This is hilarious coming from me since I am about the pickiest eater in the world!) Eat fruit which is high in antioxidants like berries. If you can bribe someone to feed you strawberries, even better.

Keep your mind nimble.
I am convinced that a lot of people die soon after retiring just because they’re bored. Have fun & use your noggin! I read some research on living longer & it said that if you keep thinking, developing your intellect & stay socially engaged, you can increase your IQ even as you’re aging.

Quit smoking.
It’s stinky, expensive & it kills you. Not to mention it wreaks havoc on your skin.

Try non-invasive skin treatments if you really feel the need.
Cosmetic surgery is silly… you’re not fooling anyone. Women with the face of a 25 year old & the hands of an 80 year old are more terrifying & ghastly than any woman who has gone the natural route. Anyway, if you really must have something done, microdermabrasion gets good reviews. You could also try Botox, but please try not to get to the stage where you cannot express emotion with your face.

Plan for your future.
This is slightly grim, but should be mentioned. Work out how you are going to live once you retire. Statistics say that married women will probably spend somewhere in the region of 7 to 15 years as a widow (depending on the age difference between you & your husband). If you’re married & your husband controls the cash, learn as much about it as you can. Feeling in control of your future & having the knowledge you need to look after yourself will have a very positive effect on your feelings about getting older.

Exercise.
I’m sure I don’t need to explain why this is good for you. Your exercise routine will naturally change as you get older & you require different things from a workout. In your twenties, you should be exercising (to the point of breaking a sweat) three times a week for a minimum of 20 to 30 minutes. Try to do strength exercises twice a week. In your thirties & forties, you should be getting aerobic exercise daily, & women in particular also need to focus on strength training, or your bones will start to thin. You should be doing this about two or three times a week. Beyond this age, you should be careful about your exercise routine. If you can afford a personal trainer, it’s a very sound investment.

Be versatile & honest.
Accept that you are getting older. You may be getting grey hair, but it’s likely you’re the only person who is worried about it. No one is judging you because you’re getting older. Seriously. Most people will admire someone who is honest enough that they don’t need to cover up their age. Another thing about being versatile: be brave enough to examine your wardrobe & get rid of what is not working for you anymore. This, of course, is not age-specific, but I mention it because I used to work in a mall & every day, this 70 year old woman with varicose veins would limp past in extremely high heels. It hurt to look at her. You have to know when to give it up.

I called my mother on this subject for her advice. After all, I’m in my twenties, & don’t know a lot about aging. “What’s your advice on aging gracefully?”, I asked. “Work on your personality, not on your appearance,” she replied. I thought that was a little simplistic & easy for her to say — after all, she is a very good-looking woman & has excellent skin. (I grew up watching her go meticulously through her skincare regime every morning & night.) Then I thought a little more about it. The way you feel about life really is reflected in your face. If you’re sad or angry, you will contort your face accordingly. The more you do it, the more lined your face will become. We have all seen people with mouths that resemble a cat’s bum from years of pursing their lips in ire. (I am sitting here making strange faces to try to describe it to you.) If you’re happy & smile a lot, people will react much more strongly to the warmth you emit than the lines around your eyes. It’s funny, the older I get, the more pertinent all that cheesy, seemingly-useless advice of ore becomes.

I know everyone wants a quick fix, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. I can’t tell you what to wear, I can’t tell you what to do. Be true to yourself, look after yourself, love yourself & let yourself evolve. That is really the best advice I can give you. I hope it helps.

Extra For Experts:
If 60’s The New 40… a post about growing old gracefully from the inside out & a huge pile of comments, some very insightful.
Tightly Wound: The Wrinkle Manifesto. Hilarious!
“Having a face so tight that people could ice skate on it doesn’t increase your sex appeal. Because we all look at it and go, “Nice mid-life crisis, dude. Guess what? You’re still old. And now you’re still old and if you smile you run the risk of your face snapping off and landing on my tossed salad.”“

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How Wearing Make-Up Affects Your Career

[ 26 January 2007, 18:16 ]

Normally I wouldn’t make a post out of a single link, but this flabbergasted me so much I had to.

No makeup, no promotion? is an article from The Age, a Melbourne newspaper. It’s based around the recent study conducted by Hamermesh & Biddle who discovered that women who wear make-up at work earn 20 to 30% MORE than their make-up shunning counterparts.

Amazing. I’ve been saying this stuff for a long time — appearance is important & people judge you based on it — but I never expected a study to prove it so conclusively.

For those of you who tend to go au naturale to your job, never fear! Gala to the rescue! I’m working on a three-part series on make-up. The first one, Makeup Basics Part One — Skincare is available now, & the second one (on make-up application & where to start when you’re stumped) is coming very soon!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

Tags: beauty, madame
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Dressing For A Wedding

[ 25 January 2007, 09:37 ]

I just want to gloat about my stylish readers for a second. This is all very shrouded in secrecy — they didn’t want me to give out any details about them. I guess in case they get mobbed in the street by hoards of eager fans!

Anyway, they make a great couple. This is how they were attired for a recent wedding. Mr. Mystery is wearing an unlined, one-button linen jacket with a white shirt & emerald green tie (he is also wearing pants). Ms. Mystery looks fabulous in a green dress with white-framed sunglasses & white faux-fur jacket. I LOVE the fact that their greens match.

Beautiful! Kudos! I’m convinced they outshone everyone else. They say a lot of the other guests were in black cocktail attire, which is really a bore. Weddings are a big deal & you should dress appropriately. I’m so proud of Mr. & Ms. Mystery! Yay!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Winter Lust

[ 23 January 2007, 20:26 ]

In my opinion, winter is the most exciting time to be in the Northern hemisphere. Unfortunately, I left London on the 12th of October to begin my new life in Melbourne, Australia — which is, very distinctly, south of the equator. (It is regularly hitting 40 degrees celsius here — that’s 104 degrees fahrenheit to you.)

Fashion-wise, winter is absolutely the best season of the year. No contest. Especially if you live somewhere that actually gets really cold, or even better, somewhere that receives the odd dousing of snow. Coats! Boots! Gloves! Hats! Textured stockings! It’s a hedonistic dream… & Visa doesn’t regard it with complete disdain either.

To assuage my envy, here is my small tribute to the chilly weather some of you are experiencing… or are supposed to be experiencing. Isn’t global warming a blast?! I just can’t stop myself from embarking on digital window shopping trips. Here are some things I would be gleefully awaiting in the mail if I were where you are. They’re listed in order of obsession, where ten brings a smile to my face & one keeps me awake & sweating through the night.

10. Black & silver glitter star legwarmers from Hot Topic. Cute. Very, very cute, in fact. You could wear these with anything for instant greatness!

09. Custom message scarf from lulette.com. Ideally the one that says “Let Them Eat Cake” — the Marie Antoinette influence lives on!

08. Cashmere long jumper from Topshop. I love cashmere — so soft & if you take good care of it, it will last forever. It comes in silver only, but this is such an eminently wearable colour that it would get a lot of use. I’d wear it with black leggings & big boots or with cobalt blue anything.

07. A huge box of stockings from sockdreams.com. I especially like the star tights (pictured above), Jonathan Aston Broderie Anglais leggings, lace leggings, long Orkney angora leg-warmers & long cuffable scrunchable socks. Yum. Once upon a time, I only ever wore striped stockings. I have a drawer packed to the top with them in all colours… but I’m over that now. I want more variety.

06. Rebecca Sanver jamba boots from Ashley Ardrey. Wow, they are lovely & very “grown up” looking. I’m not sure I could pull them off, but maybe…

05. Rosalie coat from Miss Sixty. I love the shape of this & the cut at the back. The empire-waist is very flattering. It’s also on sale! & it has faux fur panels around the cuffs! Golly.

04. A hat from Gobbolino. They come in a variety of colours, but I am especially fond of this one in striped fabric with white faux fur & braids in candy colours. So cute!

03. Circus umbrella from Oompa.com. Oh. My. God. I have wanted this for a very long time. IT HAS A DANGLING CIRCUS MAN, okay? Please. I must own it. Yes, it is made for children but that just means it will only fit one person. I’m okay with that. I like being a solo voyager in the rain.

02. Rainbow hoodie from Kidrobot. It’s sold out at the moment but I maintain hope that they’ll bring it back. How could they not? It’s the best thing they’ve ever done (in my opinion).

01. Hello Kitty cashmere sweater by Victoria Couture. Rarrr. I love this so much. The idea of cuddling up in a cashmere Hello Kitty sweater & drinking hot chocolate is almost too much to bear. I saw this in the Patricia Field store when I was there, but the price tag was obscene, so I didn’t buy it. Wish I had though, it would have been worth it.

Other things you might want in Winter:

A hip-flask. Mine is engraved with “Gala in the funeral parlour” but you might want something less grim. This one is, at least, honest. (Some googling shows that Urban Outfitters used to a pink heart-shaped glitter one… if you have one & want to sell it to me I will give you my first-born.)

A long (faux) fur coat. When you’ve bought it, I suggest sending it to these people: especially if you’re going to Burning Man. (Wow.)

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Trends For 2007 and How To Avoid Looking Like A Fashion Victim

[ 23 January 2007, 14:01 ]

Trust me when I say I do a LOT of reading on fashion. I often open Google Reader in the morning & read hundreds (!) of articles before having my vitamins. I am devoted to you, see?

Anyway, of course with the dawn of a new year, there is a lot of babble about what’s going to be “in” this year. I wrote about this a while ago (see: The Definition Of Real Style [Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying & Love iCiNG]), but the thing is, even if you loathe trends & fashion dictates in general, you’re still going to see this stuff in stores. It may even replace the things you’re used to buying, meaning you are forced to incorporate this “trendy stuff” into your wardrobe. I thought I would write a piece on things you’re likely to see, & how to work them in without looking tragic.

Please remember: the mark of a fashion victim is someone who wears more than, say, four trends at a time. Try to pace yourself. Also, trends are just that: trends. They will fade & go out of style in a heartbeat, so if you’re going to do it, make sure you wear that stuff to DEATH.

Futuristic sunglasses.
As I said in my article Choosing Sunglasses That Suit You, big round sunglasses are apparently on their way out. They are going to be replaced by futuristic-looking sunglasses of a similar size. Think shiny, mirrored, rimless & wide across the top — but if they don’t suit your face, don’t do it!

Bright accessories.
I’m ahead of the fashion wave since ALL my accessories are colourful! Most girls will be wearing yellow beads or carrying a bag in a primary colour, but we can do better than that! When I say bright, I mean BRIGHT! Try a neon collar around your neck, pink flowers in your hair, cobalt blue earmuffs, a scarf in blinding colours, sparkly stockings! Match the colour with something else in your ensemble & go nuts! & stock up so you can wear them all far into the future!

Small purses.
They say big bags are on their way out. A shame for those of us who actually LIKE to tote our lives around with us. Admittedly, they mean small purses for night-time, & that’s fair enough. You shouldn’t need too much at night, anyway. Go for something with a delicate strap that you can tuck inside the bag if you want to hold it.

Rosettes.
I am pleased. See how Carrie (one of my fashion idols) pairs it with a pleather dress to make the whole thing look more feminine? It’s such a great look. You don’t need to go as big as that, of course. I bought a few a while ago which have both a clip & a pin on the back, so they can be worn in your hair or on your shirt just as easily. They get a LOT of use. I like to match them with my eyeshadow.

Wide trousers.
Skinny-cut jeans are on their way out. The relief is palpable. They’re just so hard to wear. Wide-leg pants have been seen on Kate Moss, so, you know, you’ll be seeing a lot of them. Trousers cut like this can be changed from a casual look to a much more elegant one just by swapping your shoes. For a casual look, try them with ballet flats or sneakers. To dress it up, pair them with high-heeled boots or stilettos. Super-hot. If you don’t like how you look in pants, wide-cut legs are a blessing for most of us, but if you’re still uncomfortable, try wearing a fitted dress over the top — it will conveniently disguise your thighs & bum.

High shoes.
Wedges, platforms & super-high heels are about to become the norm. The higher the better. Another thing we’ll see more of is wedges with cut-outs in the heel (either to make it look more like a heel, or with a shape in the middle, like a heart). This doesn’t have to be uncomfortable or dressy. A lot of people are surprised to find out how comfortable a good pair of wedges can be. You could also try something like these polka-dot platform slides — super-comfortable & casual but still cute.

Minidresses.
Every season, hemlines change. At the moment, they’re on their way up. Wear short dresses & skirts with textured stockings & big shoes to make your legs look like they go for miles.

Leggings.
I know, I know. I’ve been waiting for them to disappear too. They have been in style for at least two years! Wear under dresses for a more sporty take, & make them look less generic by pairing with leg-warmers & colourful sneakers. Also: just say no to gold lamé. I am yet to see anyone make it look good — though if you can, I’d love to see it!

Space-age fabrics.
If you’re into a more minimalist, futuristic look, things are about to turn very rosy for you. Incredible textures are about to come to the fore. Wear a few different materials in neutral hues for an amazing, tactile look. Then encourage people to touch you.

Personalised sneakers.
Sneakers = instant cool factor, & if they’re in your favourite colours or have your name inked on ‘em, so much the better. The best thing is that it’s not too expensive to do. Some companies will even let you do it online.

Scrunchies.
Seen on Mary-Kate Olsen recently. You know they’re making a comeback. Shocking. Horrific. Abominable. Words cannot describe. I cannot think of a single way to make a scrunchie look acceptable. Best you skip this one. Leave it to the fashionistas… who I doubt will be able to pull it off, either.

Floaty white dresses.
Always in fashion, but, again, we’ll see more of them. Please, never wear black shoes with a floaty white dress. Sandals are your best bet (in gold, silver or other neutral tones). To make it a little more dynamic, put it with a colourful cardigan.

Extras For Experts:
As much as it pains me to say it, if Paris Hilton, Kate Moss or an Olsen twin are photographed wearing it, it will probably become cool within about a week. (I dislike lumping Mary-Kate Olsen in with Paris or Kate, since I MK & think Paris & Kate are vastly overrated. Oh well. That’s the way the cookie crumbles, or some other cliche.)

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Choosing Sunglasses That Suit You

[ 22 January 2007, 21:04 ]

Buying sunglasses can be a thrill or a trial. The most important part of buying sunglasses is knowing your face shape (you can find yours out by reading my instructions here). Different frames suit different faces. Here’s what works:

Oval face: Just like with choosing a haircut, an oval face is the (ahem) “ideal”, meaning that most shapes will suit you. Go nuts, ye of the blessed face shape!

Round face: You’ll want frames that make your face look longer & slimmer. Frames that are equal to or a little wider than the broadest part of your face will help achieve this. You can add some definition by going for frames that are quite angular or rectangular in shape.

Diamond face: As your face is quite angular naturally, oval-shaped sunglasses will soften you. You can also try gently curved square frames. You will look best if the frames aren’t any wider than your cheekbones.

Square face: You can reduce the squareness of your face by wearing frames that are soft & curvy while having a strong shape. Cat’s-eye frames are ideal, as are ovals & round shapes.

Oblong face: Frames shouldn’t extend past the widest area of your face. You should go for round & square shapes as this will widen & shorten your face.

Triangle/heart shape: The aim is to make the jaw look narrower, & the best way to do this is by accenting the eye area. Cat’s-eye styles are good as well as metal frames with rimless bottoms.

Black frames seem to be the most popular choice when it comes to eye-wear, but be careful that it doesn’t look too harsh on your face. Or that you don’t look like Stevie Wonder. (It is easier than you would imagine.)

Don’t be afraid of sunglasses with coloured frames, especially if they’re in a colour you wear often. I once owned a pair of turquoise sunglasses which I absolutely cherished… but one day they broke. That’s not the point. Experiment! Try on some colourful sunglasses, they tend to be far more interesting than the others.

If black looks too harsh & colour isn’t your thing (oh shush, go read my article), try brown or tortoiseshell. Even if you don’t wear brown EVER, they’re a good choice because they’re neutral. Trust me, they will work with any ensemble.

My best sunglasses tip is this: go to a department store with a huge range. Take a camera. Photograph yourself in various styles (or have your friend do it if you’re too embarrassed to pose alone). Most sales assistants with a clue won’t mind. Just say you want to have a think about it. Before you leave, be sure to get the model number of the ones you like. Then search Ebay for the same ones. I bought my Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses (which I LOVE) for 1/3 of the price my local department store wanted. (When buying off Ebay, always check the seller’s feedback to make sure they’re not selling fakes.)

For the fashionable, the word on the street is that big round sunglasses are heading out of style. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to stop wearing them, but it DOES mean it’s going to be harder to buy them. If you’re a fan, as I am, I suggest you snap ‘em up soon.

A lot of people think you should have two pairs of sunglasses — one for casual attire & one pair that is more glamourous. Some of you will think this is excessive, but some of you would feel under-prepared with only two pairs. I have more pairs of sunglasses than I care to count, but only three that I wear on a regular basis. Oh, okay, four. Getting contact lenses a couple of years ago means I can actually wear sunglasses, & after years of OPPRESSION I embrace the opportunity!

Finally, the key point is that your sunglasses should make you feel like a superstar. If you have to spend a little more than you wanted to in order to achieve this, don’t worry about it. Sunglasses are important. You should be able to slide them on after a tawdry one-night stand when all your make-up has smeared off & walk home feeling hot & powerful. The best sunglasses transform you — really. I remember once Ashley Olsen was asked why her & Mary-Kate wore big sunglasses all the time. She replied that sometimes, when they went out, they just didn’t feel like wearing make-up. Your sunglasses should enable you to go from an uncoiffed mess to a sleek master of your own destiny. Don’t settle for less!

P.S. I the sunglasses Karen Walker is doing.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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What Goes and What Clashes?

[ 22 January 2007, 11:26 ]

I received this a while ago, & I’ve been thinking about it ever since:

What clashes? What colours don’t go together? What can’t you wear with what? Stripes and polka dots? Stripes and more stripes? Mixing patterns? Not to say I would follow said fashion laws to a tee, but usually they exist for a reason, namely to prevent an unflattering, aesthetically confusing ensemble. So please enlighten me, what goes with what?

This is a tough question to answer, as there are very few hard & fast rules. Even old rules like “don’t mix your tartans” or “spots & stripes don’t go” can be thrown out if a good balance is struck. Successful pattern-mixing truly elevates your outfit to the next level — it says you’re a person who likes to take a risk, has confidence in their ability to assemble an outfit, & pays attention to the details.

The key to the whole affair is HARMONY. Ideally you want to go for different scales (say a wide check with houndstooth) in complementary colours. This could mean putting blue with orange, or it could mean staying to similar shades. The colours really should be harmonious — at least when you’re first starting out, anyway! Another important point is that the patterns must be dissimilar enough that you can see their differences from at least a couple of paces away. Otherwise you will look very “busy” & swamped by the outfit.

If you want to mix colours, complementary colours (those that are opposite one another on the colour wheel) will always work. So will analogous colours (those that sit next to each other on the colour wheel). Now, mixing colours that typically “clash” can be done, but again, it is a matter of balance. When you do this, I would suggest using small amounts of each colour & off-setting it with a large amount of neutral colour (like white or black). So if you were trying to mix pink & red, you might want to wear a neutral outfit with accessories in pink & red, or you could wear a pink top, black skirt & red leg-warmers. Another good way to incorporate “clashing” colours is to find an item that has both colours in it. This can be difficult, but it makes coordinating your outfit easier. I have a pink tube-top with red apples on it, & while I tend to wear it with black pants, the colours in the top means I can get away with having pink hair & wearing red lipstick.

It’s best to play around with it. Your mirror is your friend, & learning to trust your own judgment will be a great help. If you don’t like the way your outfit looks, change it, take it off or try something else! Good luck!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Makeup Basics Part One -- Skincare

[ 21 January 2007, 23:27 ]

I recently received this email:

Being a guy I don’t usually wear makeup, but on occasion when going out I’ll throw some mascara on and maybe some nail polish. I like to be exuberant at times and was thinking of getting some eye shadow too. But in honesty I know next to nothing about the basics of makeup. Can you enlighten me?

Dear Soon-To-Be-Enlightened,

This is a pretty big topic, so I’ve broken it down into a few segments to make it easier to read & digest. This first section is on SKINCARE.

Just because you’re a man, your routine needn’t be any different from a woman’s, though I was once told about a marketing executive who made a mint by re-branding an exfoliating scrub as a “scruffing lotion” for men. Geez.

I heard a rumour a little while ago that Dave Navarro (of Jane’s Addiction & Red Hot Chilli Peppers fame) was bringing out a men’s cosmetic line, but according to his blog, it’s rubbish. A shame really, as the man surely knows his way around an eye pencil. Yes, sometimes he looks a bit like an evil magician, but he pulls it off. Rest assured, he’s not the only one dabbing on the old war-paint!! Apparently U.S. sales of men’s skincare products rose 13 percent in 2004, to $59 million (from here). Another man who wears make-up with finesse is David Bowie… but don’t tell Michael Douglas. (Shame he’s so judgmental, he was hot the year I was born.)

Now, please listen, as this is crucial: Applying make-up is like painting a canvas — you have to prepare the surface you’re working on! If you don’t do this, it doesn’t matter how dexterous you are or how many brushes you own, it will still look bad.

Click below for an iCiNG exclusive video on skincare — I go through my skincare routine & explain how it works, & I’m followed up by Siân of Lush Cosmetics talking about some products for men. (If you’re reading this in an RSS reader, you will need to come through to my website to see the video!)

Here are the key points to remember:

Assess your skin type. If you’re not sure, you can use the following chart. The amount of ticks you get in each row indicates how likely it is that you are that skin type.

Once you know your skin type, you can go on a crusade to find the best products for your face. One thing I learned from managing a Lush Cosmetics store for so long is that when you ask most people what their skin type is, they will reply “sensitive”. About 8/10 people do this. The fact is, your skin actually isn’t that sensitive — it’s just that most skincare products are saturated with alcohol & chemicals! No wonder you’re in pain, red & blotchy or exploding like fireworks!

A basic skincare routine consists of a cleanser, a toner & a moisturiser. Depending on your needs, you might want to spring for a neck cream & an eye cream too. An eye cream is important because the skin around your eyes is far more delicate than anywhere else on your body, & once you start to get wrinkles there, reversing them is a lot of work. A neck cream is a good idea primarily because it is one of the first places to show age, along with the back of your hands — neck cream & sunscreen on your hands are your best defence.

The cleanser’s purpose is to clean your face. You can use something gentle, or you can choose something with a bit of scrub in it. Some people alternate between both. I use Angels On Bare Skin by Lush — it gives me a gentle scrub which I use every day. The “scrubbiness” in Angels On Bare Skin comes from the ground almond they use. It’s a beautiful product, I have never met anyone who didn’t love it. It’s also good for all skin types. The best thing about it is the large amount of lavender oil used — lavender is a fantastic oil for the face as it helps to balance sebum production, meaning that if you’re too oily, it’ll dry you out a bit, & conversely, if you’re a bit dry it will give you the oil you need.

Toning is the second step in the process. It’ll remove any last traces of cleanser, get rid of excess oil & typically soften your face a bit in preparation for moisturiser. I never used to use it, but I find that my face feels much smoother & cleaner when I do.

Moisturiser is probably the most important part of your skincare routine. One common misconception is that people with oily skin shouldn’t use moisturiser — this is complete hogwash. Everyone needs a certain level of moisture for their skin to function at its best, including those of us with oily skin. Some people use a different moisturiser at night, but this is optional & something to think about later. You should avoid putting moisturiser around your eyes, as the skin there is much more delicate than anywhere else.

A lot of people don’t understand this part, especially men: Using soap on your face is not acceptable, unless it is made specifically for that purpose! Body soap is typically made of quite harsh ingredients & after a few years, it will show! Put the soap down or I will come bursting into your bathroom in a rage!

Your best weapon in terms of divining a routine is to consult with knowledgeable salespeople. You can go to a department store & tour around the counters, or you could try The Body Shop, L’Occitane, Origins or Lush. I am a huge Lush advocate because when I worked there, I really saw the products work miracles on people… but it is entirely up to you. For men, there are some companies which do specific men’s ranges like Nivea, Clinique, etc. Walk around the counters, talk to the staff, get their opinion. Be prepared to spend some time asking questions & listening to what they have to say. If you can, take as many samples as they offer. Otherwise you could arrive home with hundreds of dollars worth of product that is completely wrong for you.

When you start using products on your skin, observe how your skin behaves for three weeks. Sometimes what you’re using just doesn’t agree with you, & it can take up to three weeks for it to show. I received some make-up remover from Napoleon Perdis for Christmas, & was happily using it for a couple of weeks, when all of a sudden, my skin threw a tantrum. Given the make-up remover was the only new thing in my routine, & there had been no changes in my diet or stress level, I had to stop using it. It’s a shame, because I liked it.

I hope this was helpful! Coming soon are parts two & three of this series — make-up application & choosing colours that suit your skintone. Stay tuned!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Carousel -- Week Ending 19th January 2007

[ 19 January 2007, 17:49 ]

I’m sorry this is so late, I was in the suburbs (the horror!) reviewing a service which will be featured on here very soon! It’s also a small list — as I write & learn more about fashion, I find less & less information online that is relevant, timeless or valuable. Please send me links to anything you find that you think other people would benefit from!

Peter features again (as he did last week) with a post on Inspired Male Style. It’s great to see his perspective, as he is a very stylish man himself. I have been meaning to do a post on characters who inspire me for a while, but unfortunately I watch so few movies that I don’t know whether I could do the concept any justice!

Spring 2008 Forecast from Almost Girl. If you want to know where fashion is heading, you should read this. I found it really interesting, it looks like trends might finally be heading into that “space age” look we’ve been promised for such a long time. The article contains such choice phrases as, “pushing imaginative envelope with new visions of Futurism” (made my heart skip a beat with excitement!), “technology replaces design as reason to buy” & “futuristic fabrics: metallic/reflective/reactive”. How good does that sound?! Hand me my space gun.

I skimmed the thousands of updates on the fashion at the Golden Globes with very little interest, but I am miffed that Cameron Diaz was so harshly derided. I thought her dress was by far the most interesting of the bunch, & even though I don’t care much for her, the new dark locks are beautiful.

Beauty Snob has just started up in the last few days or so. Realistic reviews in an easy-to-read style. Good work ladies!

& finally, another article for men! Sneakers for Starters is your introduction to the world of pseudo-athletic footwear. Here’s how to tell a “good-ugly” from a “bad-ugly”, learn your classics & where to begin if you’re interested in collecting.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Daily Outfit -- 18th January 2007

[ 18 January 2007, 01:43 ]

Daily Outfit, 18th January 2007.

Long black thin cotton knit hoodie by Laurie Foon
“Death of the Bunny Girl” t-shirt from Topshop, which I wear all too often
Spiderman boy undies
2 different PVC shoes

This is my I’m-a-slacker-&-I’m-not-planning-on-leaving-the-house-today outfit. Though I might go out & get some coffee soon. The underpants aren’t mine. I have been eyeing them up for a long time, but could never find anything to coordinate them with since they’re so visually busy. Most frustrating! Anyway, I finally realised that something with a bit of length in a solid colour was my best bet, & lo & behold! — it worked.

Apparently some of you want to see my haircut… so here it is. I am still trying to work out how to style it. It’s so short! My initial panic is over. I no longer feel like a boy — instead I feel like Twiggy without the eyelashes, gamine & strangely grown-up. I have no emo combover to hide behind for the first time in years! I guess it was time to move on.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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How To Choose A Flattering Haircut

[ 18 January 2007, 00:44 ]

I recently received an email from my friend who is getting her hair cut tomorrow afternoon & wanted to know how to choose a good haircut. She said:

It might follow on from your recent mention of your own haircut…

The best part about all of this is that I didn’t follow many of the below steps. My friend is doing training at the Biba Academy here in Melbourne, & they were being supervised by a guy from the Vidal Sassoon training school in London. The haircut was offered to me for free, & since I wanted to be helpful (& felt like I needed a bit of a shake up), I went in with no reservations & told them they could do as they pleased. I figured that even if it turned out hideously, I could write about it on here & if worst came to worst, well, I have a great collection of head-scarves!

Well, I had my hair cut yesterday & I am still dealing with mon nouveau visage. It was strange — when I was in the salon, I really liked what they were doing, but as soon as I got home I decided I looked like a boy. Looking in the mirror is a shock. At the moment I am kind of brushing it to the side, like I used to, but I think as I become more comfortable with the haircut I’ll start wearing it the way it’s supposed to be. I haven’t changed my hairstyle in a really long time, so this is taking some adjusting, but I think this sort of thing is good for the constitution… yessir.

With this in mind, here are the things I think are most important in terms of getting a haircut.

Either know what you want, or shut up.
Oh, I know, I’m so mean. Basically what I’m trying to say is that you either have a good idea of what you want as an end result, or you listen to your hairdresser & take their advice. I suggest having a little faith & crossing your fingers, it’s always more exciting that way — but if you want something specific be sure to COMMUNICATE WELL.

Develop a relationship with your hairdresser.
No, that doesn’t mean taking them home to your mother! Your most valuable asset in getting a good haircut is having a stylist whose opinion you trust. You will probably need to shop around until you find someone you really like. The most expensive hairdresser is not necessarily the best, either. A great hairdresser should make you feel at ease, make suggestions, listen to your opinion & have a good haircut themselves! You wouldn’t take financial advice from someone who was broke, would you? Same applies here.

Think about your lifestyle & what the climate is like where you live.
In the mornings, do you like to fiddle with products, straighteners, spray-in conditioners or do you like to just get up & go? Are you active? Do you go swimming a lot? (If so, I would advise against going platinum blonde!) Is the humidity likely to make your hair go limp? Is the wind going to blow it out of shape? Is your working environment conservative or relaxed? Do you often wear hats or head-scarves? Do you drive a convertible? All of these things will have an impact on what kind of hairstyle is going to work for you.

Consider your hair texture.
Is your hair straight, curly or wavy? If your hair kinks into ringlets, you’re never going to have a sleek bob. Similarly, if your hair is straight & you would like to look “Botticelli-esque” (did anyone catch the Sex & The City reference?), you’re going to have a hard time.

Remember that you’re not going to look like Jennifer Aniston even if you get the “Rachel”.
(Though, dear god, why you’d want to is beyond me.) Okay, so that’s a very 90’s reference, but you get my point, right? Celebrity haircuts are not going to change your face. Also, a lot of those haircuts require HOURS of styling. Hairstyle magazines always used to trap me, because I would look at the hot model & forget about the hair. Don’t fall for that. Cover their face with your fingers if you have to. Stay focussed!

Be open-minded.
Your hairdresser probably knows what he or she is doing. If you have a weird fly-away that has always existed, you should let them know, but ultimately, they’re the one with the training. Some of the worst haircuts happen when you agree with your hairdresser but then put limitations on what they can do halfway through — so the creative vision isn’t entirely realised, & you end up with a drastically asymmetric cut at the back & a conservative fringe/bangs, for example.

Having said that… speak your mind.
If you don’t like what they’ve done, or they haven’t done what they said they would, you don’t have to pay — or they should at least fix it up for free.

Work out your face shape.
This is a crucial step, as it will make the difference between something that makes you look horsey, bloated or gorgeous.

Here’s how to work out your face shape:

There are a few ways, so I’ll let you take your pick. The first is to tie (or hold) your hair back off your face, look in a mirror, & try to figure it out. The second is to outline the shape of your face in lipstick (or a whiteboard pen) on a mirror. The third is to use maths (not my bag, but maybe it’s yours). Here’s how you do it. Get a tape measure & measure across the top of your cheekbones, across your jaw from widest point to widest point, across the widest part of your forehead & from the tip of your hairline to the bottom of your chin. Write down the measurements, then compare them. If your face is oval, the length will be equal to one & a half times the width. If you’re round-faced, your face is pretty much as wide as it is long. Oblong, your face is longer than it is wide. Heart-shaped faces are narrow at the jaw & wide at the cheekbones or forehead. If your face is square it will be about as wide as it is long — like a round face, but you should be able to see the squareness in your face pretty easily. If you have a diamond-shaped face, it will be widest at the cheekbones with a narrow forehead & jaw which measure about the same.

Please excuse the celebrity pictures, it’s just the easiest way to show different haircuts on the same face shape!

Oval faces:
Women: Most hairstyles are going to look good on you, so be happy! Short cuts look as good on you as medium-length or long hair. One thing you should avoid is a heavy fringe/bangs. There are a lot of celebrities with your face shape — Cameron Diaz, Uma Thurman, Julia Roberts, Tyra Banks (though her forehead is FIERCE), & Elle Macpherson.
Men: As above, most hairstyles are going to suit you very well. Experiment! Short hairstyles will be great on you, & you can get away with longer hair too. Just be sure to keep it in good condition (regular haircuts & a good conditioner will work wonders). Other people with your face shape include Shaquille O’Neal & Kid Rock.

Oblong or square faces:
Women: You should go for short or medium styles, to balance the length of your long face. A lot of hair at the side of your face will suit you. A soft fringe or bangs will shorten the length of your face too. If you wear your hair too long, you risk looking horsey, so keep it above shoulder-length for best results. These celebrities have oblong faces — Gwyneth Paltrow, Janet Jackson, Sarah Jessica Parker, Giselle Bundchen.
Men: If you have a square face, you will look best with a style that enhances your face shape. A faux-hawk will really suit you, or anything short with a flat top or messy kind of look. Look at pictures of Nick Lachey, Enrique Iglesias & Matt Damon for inspiration.

Round faces:
Women: Try a style with a lot of volume on the top of your head, an off-centre part or anything longer than chin-length. Fullness on the crown with the rest of your hair cut in close to the sides of your face will make your face appear longer & thinner. You should stay away from anything chin-length & rounded, as you’ll look like you’re wearing a helmet. Also avoid a straight fringe or bangs. Not flattering! See Kate Bosworth, Kirsten Dunst, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Drew Barrymore & Christina Ricci for ideas.
Men: Your goal is to make your face look slimmer & longer. This can be achieved by an off-centre part or curls at eye-level. You can also try styling your facial hair to balance out your shape. If your hairline is receding, longer hair in the back will help off-set this. Stevie Wonder pulls this off well.

Heart faces:
Women: Go for chin-length or longer styles. A bob that ends at your chin will make your face look more equally proportioned. You should try something that emphasises your cheekbones — a dramatic pixie cut will look great on you. You shouldn’t go for something with a lot of height at the crown of your head. These gals have heart-shaped faces too: Katie Holmes, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez & Reese Witherspoon.
Men: don’t usually have heart-shaped faces. Next!

Diamond faces:
Women: Almost everything works for you. Try not to wear too much hair on your face, as you probably have super features. Other women with your face shape include the glamourous Katharine Hepburn, Linda Evangelista & Sophia Loren.
Men: You’ll look best with a deep, full fringe/bangs. It will soften the appearance of your forehead. If your beard is trimmed into a rounded or square shape this can also help de-emphasise your chin.

What now?
The above information should give you a guide as to what suits your face. Now is the time to do some research. Check out the links below & if you can, go & pick up some hairstyle magazines. Bookmark the ones you like & take them to your hairdresser. If you’re not sure about the salon, most places will do a free consultation, & this will give you a good indication as to their competence. When you make your appointment, be sure to clearly communicate any concerns. Another tip: when they’re styling your hair at the end, ask them for tips on how you can replicate it at home.

Extra For Experts:

Mad Rad Hair on Livejournal. On the info page are links to photobucket accounts full of pictures of people with great hair.

Best & Worst Haircuts for oval face shapes at about.com

“Virtual Hairstyle” at UK Hairdressers

Hairstyle Gallery for men & women

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Marie Antoinette Style

[ 17 January 2007, 07:30 ]

Let them eat cake! I recently saw Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette & really enjoyed it. Normally I loathe period films, & Kirsten Dunst doesn’t do much for me much either, but this was a complete visual thrill. The clothing was as amazing as the colour-scheme & the cakes were incredible. Anyway, I really liked the styling, so thought I would give you a quick guide on how to doll yourself up like Marie Antoinette.

Hair

White puffy hair can happen. My natural hair colour is practically black & I had white hair for at least two years. (When I say white, I mean white.) It just requires devotion, money, & a resignation to the knowledge that your hair will, at some point, break. My hair requires two separate lots of bleach & a fair amount of toner to get that white. I would suggest you stump up the money & get it done at a salon (it usually cost me somewhere in the region of $260 NZ). I think the money you pay is totally worth it, I really loved the way it looked. The other thing is, it was so damaged that I could do anything I wanted with it. Usually I would back-comb it & use some talcum powder (Candy Fluff by Lush — it has sparkles & smells like pink) to keep it in place. No hairspray required! Looked good crimped, too.

However, if you would rather do the look on a temporary basis, these are the real deal — big, white, & ridiculous Marie Antoinette wigs. I personally am keen on the “Marie Antoinette Wig w/ Pearls” & the “Madame de Pompadour”. I love big hair! It’s one of my favourite things!

You could also try the Club Kid over-sized crimped wig. It comes in pink, purple & auburn. Not strictly Marie Antoinette style, but incredibly cool & it would definitely work with the look.

Remember that Marie Antoinette liked things in her hair. Sequined butterflies, feathered butterflies, a crystal flower, or a crystal & pearl hair comb would be perfect. A tiara, feathers, or a daisy-chain would be a nice touch too.

Face

Use a pale foundation as a base, to smooth out your face. Use a light pink blush on the apples of your cheeks, like MAC Cosmetics Powder Blush in Dollymix, which is a shade of pure candy pink. Then use a pale powder to set your face — MAC Cosmetics Iridescent Powder in “Delicacy” is described as pink sweetened with silver icing & sounds incredible.

Decorate the eyes with eyeliner jewels along your top lid, dot single jewels around the corners of your eyes, & wear a lovely fluttery pair of false eyelashes to finish. My Diva’s Closet has an incredible range — pink with purple, black feathered, spiked with rhinestones… actually, I’m quite pleased with a lot of the things I found there, & the prices are very reasonable.

If you can find a packet of stick-on beauty spots (I couldn’t find any online, what is the world coming to?) I suggest you invest in those. If not, just draw one on. A dot is relatively easy, a is a bit trickier, but in this case, a steady hand coupled with liquid eyeliner & a good brush are your best friends.

For the lips, go for a stain rather than a solid colour. You want to look flushed rather than gaudy. Try Napoleon Perdis’ Satin Lips gloss lipstick in Christiana, Lucinda or Angelene.

Les Autres

Marie Antoinette introduced the concept of regular bathing to the cheese-scented denizens of pre-revolutionary France, & was also well-known for the beautiful scents which surrounded her. Her favourite smells were tuberose, violet, & lavender. To replicate this, try “Marie“ perfume by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab: A blend of sinuous violet and elegant tea rose: the chosen scent of France’s Demigoddess of Debauch. It sounds delicious & gets excellent reviews.

I also suggest a liberal dousing of glitter — that link has basically every type of glitter you could ever need. Loose, spray-on, liquid… put it in your hair, across your cheekbones & décolletage.

These are all just suggestions — you don’t need to do all of them at once, but feel free to take aspects from it. I would suggest doing it without the frilly dresses, since that’s just a little bit too much! Enjoy, but be sure to hold onto your head. Wink wink.

Extra For Experts:

The Costumer’s Guide has a lot of information on the dresses worn in Marie Antoinette.

What Marie Antoinette Really Wore, Slate Magazine.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Akif Hakan Celebi

[ 16 January 2007, 13:35 ]

I discovered Akif Hakan Celebi’s photography via the Foto Decadent community the other day. A lot of his work is fashion photography, & he has a great eye for textures, colours & shapes. He also appears to work with some exceptional stylists. I find all of these photos very inspiring. Apparently the designer for a lot of these clothes is Pinar Eris.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Creepy doll shoes

[ 16 January 2007, 05:10 ]

I have to admit, Blythe dolls give me the willies. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s the fact that they’re so expensive & yet adult women scoop them up like they’re going out of style, or maybe it’s because their “skin” is shiny. Anyway, I have never liked them.

However, when I saw Blythe SHOES on Sushi Zume Tokyo (a blog run by an incredibly cute couple living in, you guessed it, Tokyo), I have to admit that I thought the shoes were pretty cool. Obscenely creepy, but awesome, which is quite a good combination in my opinion.

I especially love the first pair — polka-dots & heart detail! They would look so great with ripped stockings, a puffy black dress & a couple of red accessories.

You can buy them from Irregular Choice. They seem to be mostly out of stock at the moment, but I’m sure it will pick up again soon!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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More Past Outfits

[ 15 January 2007, 17:22 ]

I thought I’d write up some more of my outfits — what worked, what didn’t, & how I’d change it if I was going to wear it again.

Daily Outfit, 15th October 2006.

Two days after I had arrived in Melbourne (& my suitcase had finally arrived from Singapore — I was never so happy to see my clothes in my entire life).

White vintage dress
NYC Carousel t-shirt which i cut the sleeves from
Turquoise cardigan from Topshop
Blue legwarmers
Blue/pink Reebok Icecreams

This outfit was so comfortable & I really love the way it looks. I usually dislike wearing flat shoes because I feel like they just do NOT flatter my legs, but I managed to solve this problem by wearing matching leg-warmers. Yay! I love the fact that it all matches without being obscenely “matchy-matchy” — I have a royal blue headscarf & a royal blue t-shirt, with a turquoise cardigan & sky blue legwarmers & shoes. The white dress breaks up the colour so it’s not too overwhelming… but I was definitely the most colourful person at breakfast!

Daily Outfit, 3rd November 2006.

Long black light-weight hoodie
Boy singlet with pirates on it
3/4 length pants
Mismatched high heels

I wore this the day after all my clothing arrived from New Zealand. I had so much stuff & nowhere to put it & I was completely incapable of putting an outfit together, so I went for black. The singlet was from the children’s section of a department store — I love kid’s singlets, they’re great, I have a whole lot. Though it’s probably only something you can pull off if you have a flat stomach & chest to match! The one in the picture has one-legged pirates, treasure chests & ships all over it, & blue accents. My two mismatched shoes are the same brand & came from Patricia Field in NYC — the blue one goes with my singlet & the pink one goes with my hair. I really liked how this looked, & then went out for the evening, but found I couldn’t walk home in my shoes. I was piggybacked while I carried them, not very stylish!

Daily Outfit, 10th November 2006.

Bunny-ears!
Hello Kitty hairclip
Blue silk dress from a weird hippie shop
Pink silk dress from Topshop
Wedges
Hello Kitty wristband
Toy handcuffs

Yes. Perhaps this outfit is on the wacky side. I still like it, though. If I were to wear it again, I’d change the shoes — the wedges are too busy & the black’s a bit heavy. I also now have shoes which would complement the blue dress underneath — these, which I adore. Also note: the day I wore this, I got hugged by a guy in a bear suit!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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The New Eyebrow

[ 14 January 2007, 12:49 ]

As you know, I am not the greatest trend follower, but I am delighted to report that the strong eyebrow is “in”! I have always been a fan of this look (as my own eyebrows will testify) & I’m very happy that I will be seeing more of it on the street. If eyes are the window to the soul, your eyebrows are the window-frame, & when done well, can completely alter your bone structure. This is NOT gender specific — EVERYONE should keep their eyebrows tidy.

It’s not necessary for all men to shape their brows, but there are some things that should go. A monobrow, for example — nobody in the course of history has managed to pull this off successfully, & I’m sorry to say that you aren’t any different. Wax it! Another thing that can be helpful for men with slightly unruly brows is a little bit of eyebrow gel. I know, it sounds silly, but it will stop them being blown around or looking like part of a crop circle if the wind catches them the wrong way. Try this in the mornings.

You can use Adrien Brody as a role-model if you’re a guy, or Elizabeth Taylor & Ava Gardner if you’re a woman. All of these people have great eyebrows. If you cover their eyebrows with a finger, it completely changes their beauty. Take note!

Of course, just because “big” is in, it’s not as easy as throwing caution to the wind & letting your malnutritioned ‘brows grow out in a feral manner — & if you’ve never touched yours, that doesn’t mean you can just leave them as is.

For people new to the world of eyebrow grooming, I suggest visiting a beautician. Even if you’re a man! Don’t be embarrassed, other men are doing this all the time. Beauticians know what they’re doing, even if you think they don’t. When I was about 16, my mother booked me in to get my eyebrows waxed. I was terrified that I was going to end up with what I called “sperm eyebrows” — eyebrows which look like a round nubbin of hair by the nose that then trails off to a tiny tail on the other side of your eye. The style was prevalent at my school. I did my best to explain my concerns, but it was probably unnecessary — I walked out of there with great-looking eyebrows. Once you’ve had your eyebrows waxed once & you like the shape, you can then just tweeze the errant hairs that grow back — very little fuss!

The best eyebrows have a nice arch in the middle — straight eyebrows are a little dull & don’t frame the eye as well.

Things to remember:

Stick to your natural brow line, which is where the bone arches above your eye. If you go too high above this, you will look permanently surprised, which isn’t such a good look.

Only wax the parts that you are never going to need, such as between the brows & along the temples. If you wax underneath the eyebrow, which is where you’ll do most of your maintenance, you will find that after years of doing this, your eyebrows will stop growing back. They will look sparse & nasty, they will grow at weird angles & stick straight out. You will have to resort to drawing on your eyebrows every morning!

You should avoid drawing on your eyebrows unless they are so fine & thin that they basically disappear. There is no way they can compete with beautifully-shaped, natural brows.

Make sure the start & end of your eyebrow lay along the same horizontal line on your face. Otherwise your eyebrow will look kind of off-balance & wonky.

Use slanted tweezers, it will make your life much easier.

Pull the hair in the same direction it grows, this will make it less painful. Another way to reduce the pain factor is to tweeze after you get out of the shower.

Most experts say you should never tweeze above the eyebrow, but Kevyn Aucoin disagreed with them — & he was one of the most well-paid make-up artists ever. I have never done any damage by doing a little selective tweezing above the eyebrow. However, if you’re unsure, keep it to a minimum or just don’t do it!

If you’re trying to grow out thin eyebrows, buy eyebrow shadow a couple of shades lighter than your colour, & fill in what you lack. Elke Von Freudenberg suggests taking a small toothbrush & using that to apply the shadow to the skin underneath the eyebrow too — she says it lasts longer. (All stuff I didn’t know, since my eyebrows are plentiful enough to not need to be filled in!) She also recommends trying a little loose glitter across your eyebrows for a night out! Sounds great. I’m definitely going to try that with some midnight-blue coloured glitter.

Extra For Experts:

Kevyn Aucoin eyebrow tutorial — this made my jaw drop as I read down, the difference to his sister’s face from shaping her eyebrow alone is incredible.

Elke Von Freudenberg, a celebrity make-up artist has a podcast here where she shares tips on a new way of doing the smoky eye to help play up strong eyebrows!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Daily Outfit -- 13th January 2007

[ 13 January 2007, 21:39 ]

Bigger versions: 01 & 02.

Daily Outfit, 13th January 2007.

Long woolen cardigan from Ricochet
Olive green tunic-style dress (also from Ricochet)
Patterned stockings
Platform New Rock boots
Pink silk scarf around my neck
Black off-cut piece of cotton on my head

This is a strange outfit for me. I felt like a stylish digital spy or something. The tunic dress is amazing, I love it, but I barely ever wear it. I think because the weight of it is unusual — it’s usually not warm enough in winter but too heavy in summer. Today was one of those disturbingly seasonless days which seem to be occuring more often… so it seemed like a good time to wear it. Usually I wear it with a white shirt underneath — or at least, I used to when I worked in an office — though it looks good over a knit top too. The detailing on the shoulders is beautiful.

The black cotton on my head basically exists to cover my shocking, shocking regrowth. It’s a coarse solution but it works. I haven’t had my roots touched up since AUGUST last year. Amazing. This piece of fabric has done a lot for me over the years! I think I cut up a t-shirt one time & that is all that remains. It was my first experiment with wearing a scarf (or at least a makeshift scarf) on my head, & it kicked off my love affair… I have a whole drawer full, but some I love more than others! Head scarves are indispensable — they’re a great way to add colour to your outfit or disguise a bad hair day.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Daily Outfit -- 12th January 2007

[ 12 January 2007, 17:33 ]

Bigger versions: 01 & 02.

Daily Outfit, 12th January 2007.

Blue fluffy aviator hat
Pale pink slip
Rubber glittery sandal wedges
Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses
Cigarette!

This is my Tank-Girl-who-reads-fashion-magazines ensemble. Ha! It’s also a demonstration of how neutral-coloured clothing (the pale pink slip) is very versatile. I could wear pretty much anything with it & it would probably work.

I bought the slip from a market years ago & it has had a surprising amount of use. I suspect this is because of the colour. It also happens to perfectly match my pink & gold headscarf, & since I am big on that matchy-matchy thing, that probably helps. I also like to wear it over jeans, or with a long, light knitted sweater over the top. I really don’t have the boobs to fill it out, & should ideally wear a bra with it, but wasn’t in the mood today.

Shoes came from a department store in Melbourne & were on sale for about $60 Australian. They’re very cute, I love the shape of them. They also happen to be exceedingly comfortable & in my favourite colour! Bonus!

Hat is from a store on Brunswick Street in Melbourne. I put it through a hot wash once, which means it now looks far more rascally than it did before, but that’s okay. D&G sunglasses bought on Ebay for 1/3 of the price charged in stores.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Carousel -- Week Ending 12th January 2007

[ 12 January 2007, 13:51 ]

The best things I’ve found this week!

Cupcakes Take The Cake: an oldie but a goodie. I use this website for outfit inspiration. (Seriously!)

Postlapsaria.com: amazing clothing! Keiko makes great stuff. I am a huge fan of this dress, only $55! What are you waiting for?!

“You, redesigned”: Peter from NYC (who wears the best glasses) came up with this idea. Buy a Moleskine, & use it to redesign yourself. Genius.

Converse: are having a sale. A big one.

Lyn’s Nail Supply: O.P.I. nail polish for £2.56 each! That is tough to beat. I am personally hankering for Bubble Bath, Black Onyx (who needs Chanel?), Got The Blues For Red, 20 Candles On My Cake, Pistol Packin’ Pink, Lincoln Park After Dark, SoHo Nice To Meet You, Can’t You Sea?, & Teal The Cows Come Home. See Opi.com for colour charts!

My Fashion Life: reports that Brizo is willing to pay someone to cover New York Fashion Week. This is an incredible opportunity for somebody; you should apply!

Beauty Addict: is one of the best beauty blogs out there. In my opinion.

I Am Fashion: sale items under $100. Winter, spring, summer? Does anyone really know what season it is? There are some good basic items in this post.

People: Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie Bradshaw is one of my personal style icons) wears something… bad. She looks kind of like a strawberry. Not what I expect from the inimitable Ms. Parker. Then again, we all have bum days!

Bryanboy: meets Imelda Marcos. Yes, indeed.

& finally, Applebees on Deviantart: did an illustration of one of my daily outfit photos! Talk about making my day!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Frisky-Wear For Fashion Enthusiasts

[ 10 January 2007, 14:25 ]

Who says leather, PVC & latex should be relegated to the bedroom? Whilst normally the domain of hairy men in thongs or goth culture (are the two things really that different?), there are definitely some great things, especially in the accessory department, that can be incorporated into your wardrobe for some unusual flair.

Shrinkle: Turquoise choker

Shrinkle: Hot pink rhinestone cuff

Shrinkle: Neon green rhinestone choker
Man, Shrinkle always has great things. Best of all, she also seems like the sort of girl who would be a LOT of fun to hang out with. Girls like that need all the support we can give them!

Patricia Field: Leather fingertip gloves. They’ve been seen on Paris Hilton but don’t let that put you off. I’m itching to buy a pair for when winter rolls around.

Patricia Field: “Not Tonight” eye-mask. Okay, not so kinky, but great nonetheless. One of my personal style missions is to bring eye-masks into my everyday wear. They look so good pulled up on your crown, amidst a nest of bed-hair. I need more! Sigh.

Spartacus: Pink Heart Wrist Restraints (with white faux fur!). This is the item that started this article. I absolutely love these.

Spartacus: Pink Leather Blindfold. Okay, so the model is a little scary, but a pink leather blindfold with a heart on it! This one is definitely too fabulous to only wear at sexy-time.

Agent Provocateur: Black leather gloves with pink bows. Purring noises. God these are gorgeous.

Agent Provocateur: Leather choker with padlock fastening (in pink or black!). I like this as well, but it’s a little too understated for me. I prefer Shrinkle’s neon rhinestone ones. Does that make me tacky?

Gallery Serpentine: Polka-Dot Buckled Waspie. Sorry the picture’s so small. This would be great to dress up an all-black or white outfit, or to add some texture when worn with blacks & greys. Yum.

This article was brought to you by the letters P, V & C, & inspired by Miss Susie Bubble’s experiments with latex.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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The Definition Of Real Style (Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love iCiNG)

[ 10 January 2007, 12:59 ]

“Etiquette are for those without manners, in the same way as fashion is for those without style.”
– Coco Chanel

People on forums all over the internet keep asking about what will be big in 2007. I put forward the notion that 2007 becomes the year that people really start to develop their own personal style. How does knowing what the latest trend is benefit you in any way? Who are you trying to impress? Do you run with a crowd of lemon-sucking fashionistas? There are screeds of girls on the street who have the runway-look sussed — but don’t you find them boring?
I know that I am always far more excited to see someone who has broken away from what is “expected”. Once you decide that fashions are unimportant to you, you will really feel that you have the space to grow, expand, experiment.

Of course, you don’t have to do this, & I’m not trying to insult you if following trends is your thing. It is entirely up to you. I just feel that exploring your personal style is one of those things people should DO — in the same category as drinking tequila with your best friend, kissing in Paris & watching Amélie with a broken heart.

Style is not just a matter of dress. People work hard to develop a writing voice, a novel approach to business, ways to manage their time. You spend so much time doing all these other things that to somehow forget about developing your appearance seems bizarre & negligent.

Style, when it comes to physical appearance, is about distilling your personality into tangible articles. People who have spent time discovering & fostering their own personal style are people who realise that life is an occasion, & that the way you present yourself to the world matters. Gore Vidal said, “Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn”. Not all of us are that fearless, but it’s certainly a noble thing to aim for.

In my opinion, the best-dressed people are usually the ones who aren’t afraid to take a risk, know their body type & make their primary fashion goal to wear something fun. There is nothing wrong with picking up trends as they come along, if you like them. It is also worth testing them out, even if you think it looks hideous. (You might try on a pair of leggings in a store & find that, far from making you look like some tragic 80’s throwback, you look amazing.) This is how we progress — by trying out new things. But there is a vast difference between following every trend passed down from Vogue & picking & choosing from what is available to liven up your style.

Some things I absolutely loathe, & am never going to experiment with — like ugg boots. I just couldn’t respect myself if I set foot in one of those snuggly ugly ugg boots. I am okay with not expanding my personal fashion mission statement in that direction. You may feel similarly about wedge heels or high-waisted trousers, & that is a-okay! The thing to realise is: you are capable of making your own fashion choices. This seems obvious, but evidently, it isn’t! I am amazed by the amount of girls in the street who look almost identical. The worst thing is when they go shopping in packs & their outfits match. Come on! Maybe if you were all wearing Pink Ladies jackets… maybe!

It is so easy to get caught up in the media hoopla, & given that we are programmed to compare ourselves to other people, it is hardly surprising that even if you initially resist trends, you will feel the pressure at some point. Let me emphasise — NOBODY is entirely immune to this. I had a moment of weakness the other day in a department store. I was in the luxury bags section, perusing the expensive hunks of dyed leather with their tassels, quilting, shiny clasps & fixtures. Back-lit logos hung from walls & histrionic label-freaks flitted from shelf to shelf. Anybody who reads fashion blogs or knows anything about trends will know that designer handbags are BIG business: there are even companies that will rent you an “It Bag” so you can keep up appearances. I knew I was supposed to be apoplectic in the very presence of these highly sought-after items, but instead I found myself bored & unimpressed. Once those feelings dissipated & I walked away, I began to doubt myself. Every other fashion writer goes GA-GA over this stuff. Was I missing something? Maybe I didn’t really “get” fashion or style. Maybe I didn’t love it enough — maybe if I loved it more, I, too, would join the frenzied women who put their names down for the latest handbag. But then I realised something.

Those girls who swoon over every latest “it” bag — they’re just the grown-up version of those girls in school who all wore the same thing. There’s nothing wrong with them doing that, it’s pretty natural to want to stick with the herd, but I was never like that — & I don’t think I ever will be.

I read something that night which said:

“The most difficult battle you ever fight is the battle to be unique in a world that will marshal its every force to keep you the same.”
– James Ray

This all ties into what I’m doing with iCiNG. This is not the place to come for an update on the latest Marc Jacobs collection. There are plenty of fashion writers who flip their wigs over that stuff, & I’m not going to pretend I care about it. If I find something I like which is by a big name designer, I’ll profile it, but only because I liked it in the first place. I have a particular affinity for the Hermes Kelly bag & Christian Louboutin shoes, but only because the workmanship is divine & the aesthetics have strong appeal. Labels really mean very little to me. iCiNG is my full-time gig, & I am committed to keeping my passion for it as high as possible: the best way to do that, in my experience, is to only write about things I care about. I work on several articles a day, some of them answering questions people have sent me but mostly my opinion on how to wear things. Since the site is relatively new, at the moment I am concentrating on building a solid base of information. Much of it is timeless — buying a suit, how to wear colour — & I hope that it will be helpful years on from now. It amazes me how little of this sort of thing is online, especially when a cursory glance down the street wherever you live will tend to confirm that most people are lacking this knowledge. But there is another reason for doing all this.

“You got to know the rules before you can break ‘em. Otherwise, it’s no fun.”
– Sonny Crockett in Miami Vice

Yes, you could just go out there in a multi-coloured ensemble & think ‘critics be damned!’ — but the point of fashion is to look good, not ridiculous. You can be as zany as you like as long as you follow some basic guidelines (& really, there aren’t that many). Once you know the basics of dressing, you can put anything together & feel confident that it works. There may be minor tweaks you can make, but this knowledge should remove all apocalyptic panic attacks on the subject.

I think a lot of women neglect their personal appearance for fear that they will be considered shallow, frivolous or vapid — they think that they will be judged by their clever friends. Yes, some people who care about fashion are shallow, frivolous & vapid — but so are some people who care about coffee. First impressions really do matter — you are evaluated & appraised in the first few seconds of meeting someone, whether you like it or not. In that short time they will decide whether they want to have anything to do with you or not, & this can greatly impact on your life.

Why not make 2007 the year that you started really getting to know yourself? Really began to LOVE yourself? Really began to realise your true value — in ALL arenas? Everyone has area of their life that could use improvement. Along with the other things you do this year, why not also make some style & fashion resolutions? If you do, you will feel a sense of immense achievement & your self-esteem will soar. You will be surprised at the amount of support you receive from other people, & if you have a problem, you can always write to me!

Happy 2007.

P.S. The dear Madhavi wrote a response to this.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Style Essentials and The Balancing Act

[ 8 January 2007, 23:16 ]

Have I mentioned recently how much I love answering questions? I received this one recently…

Here’s a very “hypothetical” question for you. How would you start over if some tragedy befell your wardrobe and you were left with formal gowns, lingerie, an old pair of jeans that stopped looking good at least a year ago and a skirt that you’ve loved almost to death?
What are the essential basics? How does one embellish once these basics are in stock? Do you have any shops to recommend? “Pretending” that one is pretty cash-limited, how to keep a balance between clothes that are “needs” (I can’t actually wear the lingerie to the supermarket or the ball gowns to work) and things that are “desires” (currently, a pair of red high heels)?

M.

Dear M.,

Okay. A lot of questions there. Break it down now:

How would you start over?

Once I was over my initial shock & grief, I would go through my daily outfit photos… oh, wait! You probably don’t have those yet. (I wasn’t kidding, there really is value in doing this!) I would go through my old photos & pick out the ones where I was wearing clothing I loved. Then I would get organised. I would make some notes on the various items: why I liked them so much, what their shortcomings were, what sort of thing could be a suitable replacement. Say you had a blue cardigan that you loved & wore a lot, but when you think back more objectively, you realise it was a little too short, a bit natty around the edges, & blue… well, blue’s not a colour you wear that much. So maybe a grey cardigan that was a bit longer would be a good replacement. Obviously some things (like vintage items or really distinctive pieces) are going to be harder to replace.

I suggest making a list of items in your “dream wardrobe”. This can be as outrageous as you like. My list these days would probably contain at least a passing mention of a pair of Christian Louboutin heels, a Chanel handbag & a really nice knee-length coat for Winter. Anyway, you will find that simply making this list will help attract them to you. Yes, it sounds wishy-washy, but whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not is irrelevant — this worked for me before I even knew about it. (A couple of years ago I wrote a list of things I wanted but thought I would probably never find, like a full-length white faux-fur coat & pointy turquoise high heels. After writing the list I pretty much forgot about it, but when I found it again a year later, I had about 80% of the items I wanted — the others I no longer desired.) Law of Attraction aside, having a list also means you have real things to hunt for when you go shopping.

There a few things to consider when you begin.

Working out what colours suit you is definitely a good starting point. Doing this will also make putting your wardrobe together MUCH easier, especially if you initially stick to only a couple of the colours from your palette. I personally have a lot of turquoise & royal blue clothing, which I supplement with black & grey classic pieces.

Make a commitment to amassing a good stock of wardrobe basics. The point of having a basic wardrobe is that it will prevent you from having those horrendous “I don’t know what to wear” moments. You will always have things that go together with ease.

The perennial rule of buying basics for your wardrobe is to always spend as much money as you can possibly afford. These things will last years if you take care of them & they are good quality to start with.

What are the essential basics?

The idea of wardrobe basics to me conjures up visions of my Aunt in a white shirt tucked into her jeans, with a set of pearls, a scarf tied around her neck & a nice pair of flats. Otherwise known as painfully conservative. Yes, if you were to put these together all at once, you would look a bit on the plain side — but you WOULD be well-dressed & classically stylish. The best thing is that you don’t HAVE to put them all together at once, so don’t fret. There is always a time for a white shirt, even if you end up wearing it with a pair of stockings & nothing else (like I did today).

So in my opinion, the “essential basics” for women are:

A little black dress (preferably two — one smart, one more casual)

A pair of jeans that make you feel amazing

One pair of heel highs that are comfortable enough for you to be able to walk long distances in

One pair of flat, elegant shoes

A couple of white shirts

A neutrally-coloured suit

A cardigan in a colour that goes with most of what you already own

A long, heavy, fitted winter coat

A pair of neutral-coloured pants

A flattering skirt (straight, bias-cut or a-line)

One really great bag.

Dear boys, don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you! Menswear is a big subject on its own, so I am going to tackle it in a separate article. Please email me with any specific questions you have — it will make the article much better!

Okay — from here you can start building up the rest of your wardrobe. But of course, the things you buy will depend on what your lifestyle is like. Do you work in an office? A shop? Do you engage in much manual labour? Do you work from home? Are you a socialite whose life consists solely of dining upon cucumber sandwiches & chatting with Bitsy on your cellphone?

Break your life down into various areas. Get a few pieces of paper & put category titles at the top. You will need different sorts of clothing for working, exercising, socialising (this could mean going out to dinner, going dancing, getting drunk or taking photos of yourself for your Myspace profile), & a final category we will just call casual. You might have other slots that you need to fill, but we don’t need to be too pedantic. A category named “Outfits for Sunday brunch when I think that cute barista might be working” may be overkill.

Now fill out the lists. In addition to your basics (above), here are some suggestions:

Working: Stockings (some plain, some with texture), some coloured v-neck sweaters to wear over white shirts, long skirts, plain coloured round-neck tops, a cotton scarf in bright colours.

Exercising: Trackpants, a couple of t-shirts, sports shoes, athletic socks, hoodie.

Socialising: A wrap dress is a very good thing to have, as is another cardigan as an alternative to the one in your “basics” set (different length, colour or weight). Also various skirts (knee-length, mini, etc.) & tops (long-sleeve, t-shirts, sleeveless), a couple of really nice dresses that you could wear out to dinner, boots, fitted trousers.

Casual: Shorts, more jeans, sun dresses, swimsuits.

You will of course have your own ideas of what you could wear on these various occasions, & you should always give consideration to your body shape, the kinds of things you like to wear & things that are impractical for your lifestyle (maybe owning anything other than a shirt in white is a bad idea, as you love jam or children or something). Write everything down & go shopping. If you have a set amount of money to spend, you may find it helpful to allocate amounts to various items or situations (like $200 towards clothing for work & $100 for exercise gear, for example).

How does one embellish once these basics are in stock?

Read my hints on wardrobe organisation & daily outfits. Start wearing your new items & make notes as to how they work together & what could be improved. Unless you’re wearing an incredible piece, most outfits lack something crucial without the aid of accessories. Again, this comes down to personal style. Are you a minimalist, do you like excess or are you somewhere in the middle? Accessorising is much easier when you have colour themes in your clothing, as pointed out earlier. Since I almost always use blue as my example, let’s say you have a lot of blue clothing. You can buy accessories in blue, sure, but you could also try wearing accessories that are a complementary colour. If you’re not sure how this works, here’s a Wikipedia page on it. Blue’s such a wonderful colour, I love it. It’s so versatile, & also looks great with pink, yellow, purple & green.

There are so many different things you can wear in addition to your clothes — sunglasses, necklaces, belts, scarves, socks or stockings, legwarmers, leggings, bracelets, earrings, rings, flowers in your hair, brooches, gloves, hats… & the list goes on. However, beware. There is a point where too much is just too much, & you will look like a brain-damaged kindergarten teacher. Coco Chanel once advised that one should “take off one accessory before leaving the house”, & it is possible she was onto something.

Do you have any shops to recommend?

Not really, especially since I have been travelling around so much recently. I hear good things about American Apparel in terms of buying basics, but if you’re not in the States & want to actually try something on to make sure it suits you, you’re out of luck. There are certainly a lot of places to buy things cheaply online, but it’s so easy to make such a big mistake. On the other hand, the prices & range of items tend to be so good it’s hard to resist. But maybe that’s a story for another article…

How to keep a balance between “needs” & “desires”?

Basically everything beyond the “basics” list is a desire rather than a need, & that’s okay. Dressing is a pretty frivolous affair at the best of times. I would suggest you make sure you have a good stash of things to wear day-to-day, & then splash out on something you really want. The thing is, if you really want those red high heels, you’ll find a way to incorporate them into your wardrobe & they’ll get a lot of wear. If you don’t mind going without an extra shirt in favour of the shoes, I say DO IT! Fashion is meant to be fun. Don’t feel guilty for buying anything, as being well-dressed is a major component of how most of us feel about ourselves. Don’t deprive yourself because you have an overwhelming need to be responsible & practical. I would venture that even the Dalai Lama would feel less enlightened if his underwear didn’t fit or his robes were scratchy — & even the Pope has been seen in Prada shoes.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Daily Outfit -- 6th January 2007

[ 6 January 2007, 15:27 ]

Daily Outfit, 6th January 2007.
You can see bigger pictures here & here.

I’ve been wearing this for a few days now actually. It’s been around 100 degrees fahrenheit & this is so comfortable it’s difficult to wear anything else.

Pink/gold headscarf
Light cotton bed-shirt from Peter Alexander
Olive shorts from Workshop
Treasured cowboy boots

One of my style resolutions for the year was to wear red lipstick more often. I bought MAC Red lipstick & MAC Foreign Intrigue Glitz & Gloss off Ebay & I think I have worn both every day since they arrived in my (literally) hot little hands — the gloss over the top of the lipstick. I absolutely love the way it looks, though having to wear neutral eye-colour is something I’m still adjusting to.

My cowboy boots recently arrived from London, still covered in playa dust — I have missed them so much! I also think that the headscarf with its muted colours goes exceptionally well with everything — pink & olive green is one of my favourite colour combinations.

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Carousel -- Week Ending 5th January 2007

[ 5 January 2007, 12:53 ]

The internet sure is a sad place over Christmas & the New Year. Where is everybody? St. Barts? We want content!

Google Reader has been pretty quiet this week, but here are some posts I’ve really enjoyed. Please feel free to suggest anything in the comments that has caught your attention!

The Sartorialist: On the Beach… Miami Chic, Florida

Minimalism without texture, and dimension is just boring – she does a great job giving depth to the look by using black and navy layers.

The Bag Snob: I Have Things To Carry, Too!

We get a lot of emails from men asking about man bags – not computer bags, backpacks or Jack Bauer type messenger bags. They want real bags, the kind that stand up to the fashion rigour of women’s bags, like Terrence Howard at last year’s Oscars with an alligator clutch any girl would envy.

Daily Dose of Queer: Another Year Begins, As Does Another Carnival!

Welcome to 2007, and welcome to the first edition of the Carnival of Shoes and Bags!

IndieShopping Blog: Bittersweet Styles

For the rest of this week I’m going to be focusing on some of my favorite online vintage shops.

I Like her Style!: Style Inspiration — Menswear

Menswear goes beyond tailored suits and shirts. Think hard lines, muted tones and an over-all polished look. However, don’t be fooled into thinking that you can’t be versatile when playing around with mens clothing…

The Budget Fashionista: Ten Tips For Getting Out of Extreme Debt

I’m not a financial advisor, accountant or anything like that, but it doesn’t take one to understand that we (I mean the collective we cause girl, I’ve been there too) get into debt cause we spend money we don’t have. However, while the cause might be rather simple, the remedy isn’t so easy. There’s no magic bullet to help you get out debt and it’s not going to happen tomorrow. It’s going to take a lot of work and a complete lifestyle change on your part. Here’s my ten tips (developed as a result of my own extreme debt experiences)...

& do remember to go & vote at the Glam Awards!

Love letters & feather headdresses,

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Popularity

[ 4 January 2007, 22:17 ]

Last week I received an email from somebody asking me how I got to know so many people. It surprised me, because I don’t consider myself a very “popular” person — I’m no Ben Brown, after all — but thought I would have a go at answering the question anyway, since I certainly have opinions on these things. The sender also suggested I watch Marie Antoinette — I did, & loved it. Couture & cake, what could be better?! So thank you!

When it comes to making friends in person, one of the most popular things ever written on the subject is Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends & Influence People. It came out in 1936 & all the principles still apply today. The book was a New York Times best-seller for 10 years. When I was growing up, my parents often spoke glowingly of it & I remember reading it at a very young age. (His advice on how to sell products is also brilliant & can be used by anyone in a retail capacity to great success.)

In my experience, the keys to getting somebody to like you are:

Smile genuinely at people (extend it to the eyes).

Remember people’s names. This always blows people away, especially if you haven’t seen them for a couple of years & can rattle their name off easily. If you’re not very good at this, the best way to do it is to repeat the person’s name when they first introduce themselves, i.e., when they say “Hello, I’m Diana”, you should say, “Hello, Diana”. Then proceed to use their name a couple of times in the ensuing conversation. Another good thing to do is link some kind of distinguishing characteristic to their name (mentally) — think of them as “James with the big eyebrows” or “Sally with the glass eye”.

Shut up! Don’t talk about yourself constantly. Ask questions about them. They will probably walk away thinking they just had the best conversation ever.

Maintain eye contact.

Try not to bitch about other people. It just makes everyone in earshot nervous that you’ll do it as soon as their back is turned.

Make people feel important. Sincere compliments are awesome.

Online “popularity” is a little different. As far as I know, no one has written a book about it yet, & even if they did, I doubt it would sell 16 million copies! On my birthday last year, I was sitting in a room in the Hotel Chelsea in New York with my boyfriend, a girl I knew from Livejournal & a guy I had met at Burning Man a week earlier. The girl from Livejournal was talking about people she knew, & even though up until that point I had only lived in New Zealand, on the other side of the planet, I was familiar with a huge amount of the people she mentioned. My boyfriend thought it was hilarious. Am I an internet whore?! No. I’ve just been doing this stuff for a long time.

I’ve been online for 10 years & I’ve been blogging for about 9. Trust me, my old journal entries were B-A-D — but then, most people’s were. In 1997, there were about 20 New Zealanders journalling online. Things were very different then. As we all know, people who write anything online tend to have exhibitionistic tendencies. Everybody wants a reaction, whether it’s just to know that there are like-minded people out there or to piss someone off — that’s why Livejournal is based around a commenting system. It would be nowhere near as successful without that sense of community or the ease of access to other people. I guess the point is that I’ve been writing with an audience in mind for a long time, & this (eventually) pays off, though it depends on your end goal.

I also participate in quite a few online communities — Flickr, Myspace, Consumating & Last.fm, for example. It seems that most people use these to keep in touch with their existing friends, but of course it is a great way to meet new people too. It’s extremely easy to do this, but you have to make the effort. If you combine the tips below with a willingness to meet up with people in the “real world”, you will definitely end up knowing a lot of people. Without further ado, here are some ways to encourage people’s interest in your online presence.

Keep the angst to a minimum.
Seriously. Everyone has problems, but nobody wants to hear about yours — especially if you go on & on & on about the same thing all the time. If people know you in real life & you whinge online occasionally, they will probably put up with it. But if they don’t? No one is going to stick around for that crap, unless they dislike you & want to have a laugh. I know this sounds really, really harsh, but it’s true — & it applies to face-to-face interactions too. Nobody likes a party-pooper! So shut it!

Provide something.
Inspiration, music suggestions, philosophical musings, movie reviews, top ten lists, dirty jokes, masturbatory fodder. It doesn’t matter really. Work out who you want your primary audience to be, & then think about what they want. People tend to seek out things that make them feel better. Be uplifting.

Variety is the key.
This applies to everything in life, not just blogs. The point is, if you update every day about what you ate for dinner or how work went, it’s going to get old really quickly. Surprise people.

Only post when something actually happens.
If your life is boring, either fix it or keep it to yourself! Once you’ve done something, write it up in an interesting fashion. Don’t just write “I went to the zoo”. Write about what happened at the zoo. It is your viewpoint that will keep people interested. Even if you did something really amazing, like visiting the pyramids in Egypt, an entry that says “I went to the pyramids. It was hot. I lost my shoe. Lolz.” is virtually worthless.

Skip the mundane banter about everyday life.
Again, this also applies to live interactions with people. Everyone feels the temperature, goes to work & feeds their cat. Yup, we get it: boring. Next!

People are visual.
Everyone likes pictures. You don’t have to be Gemma Ward (or Christy Turlington for those not up with the current model scene) to exploit this fact. What’s the most interesting part of your life? Is it where you live? Your sock collection? The food you eat? Your habit of performing lewd acts at the office? All of these things can be photographed. Generally, “the weirder the better” is a good rule of thumb here.