100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now
[ 14 February 2010 ]
Radical Self Love is a big topic. Kind of daunting, actually. If you want to delve into it, where do you begin? Here are some ideas. To you from me, Pinky Lee!
Make lists of reasons why you love yourself…
& write down (or keep mental lists) of the compliments other people give you. We’re so quick to believe people when they say nasty, unkind or “brutally honest” (ahem, cruel) things to or about us, & we discard all the times we’re told how amazing, beautiful or intelligent we are. Usually this is because our sense of self-doubt is stronger than our self-love. If you can build up the love side of things, this will begin to change.
Reach out to others…
...& do it regularly. When we don’t talk to people about how we’re feeling, or don’t have anyone to bounce ideas around with, it can be easy to feel lost, confused & out of touch. It also makes it easier for depression & sadness to nibble at our toes. Being reminded that the world is bigger than our bubble can inspire & uplift us.
Think of a way you could make your life easier — then do it.
This could be anything from hiring an assistant to buying a better computer or just learning to say “no” more often. Whatever it is, make it a priority. Do some research on how to make it happen, & then get going!
Change the way you think about food.
So many of us get trapped into thinking that food is “good” or “bad” & there is no in-between. Associating a word like “good” or “bad” with a type of food doesn’t help us, it doesn’t mean anything, it just makes us feel guilty or like we should be “doing better”. What has helped me is to think of food as pure fuel for my body, & considering how it will make me feel or how much energy it will give me. I know that my body (& my brain) work better when I feed myself with fresh raw vegetables & lots of water & fruit, & that I feel sluggish & useless when I eat heaping forkfuls of pasta. If you can think about food that way, there’s less guilt, & you feel more informed & aware.
Stretch in the mornings.
It gets the blood moving, it fires up your brain & it gives you a few moments to just be still & grounded before the day begins.
Really listen to people when they are speaking.
Look at them, make eye contact & be present. They’ll feel good that you care enough to properly engage them, & you’ll feel great in return.
Have media black-out days.
The concept of doing this terrifies me but I know it needs to happen. Stay away from your computer, phone & television for an entire day. Those of us are who technology addicts will FREAK out at this idea but that’s an even bigger sign that we should try it. So many of us use technology to distract ourselves & keep our minds busy, when we would be far better served by just sitting still & learning to be comfortable alone.
Have that “awkward” conversation.
You’ve been holding it in too long. Bite the bullet, take a deep breath, & tell the truth. Be gentle but honest. No one can predict how they’ll react, but it doesn’t really matter. The time has come. Say it, & move on.
Read through the results when you search Tumblr for “love yourself”...
& be proud at the way this generation — YOUR GENERATION — is shaping up. You are part of this. This is your movement.
Ask for help.
Whatever you’re going through, someone else has been through before, & come out the other side. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel — don’t be afraid to ask someone for advice or help. It could make a huge difference.
Know that you are good enough ALL THE TIME.
Yes, you are.
Find a mantra & hold it close.
My new favourite is courtesy of Emily. Om Namah Shivaya, roughly translated, means “Greetings to She Who I am Becoming” &/or “With great respect, I honor my heart”. So beautiful!
Print out Sark’s picture & stick it in your Radical Self Love Bible.
No further explanation needed!
Do your very, very best to stop judging people.
Wayne Dyer said, “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Those critical voices inside of you get a great work-out when you let them loose on someone else, & it’s like training for the grand event — that of judging yourself. If you don’t exercise those voices, they’ll eventually disappear altogether, making you a much happier person.
Explore your sexuality.
If you don’t know a lot about what makes you tick, decide that it’s time to FIND OUT! Then, once you know, COMMUNICATE IT! Don’t be afraid to tell your lover what you really want, what you wish they’d do or make suggestions. If they’re threatened by the fact that you are in tune with your sexuality, THEY’RE NOT WORTH IT! As Jay-Z would say, “On to the next one!“ Unlocking your real desires is powerful & potent & important. Don’t downplay it & don’t accept anything less.
Express love in as many ways as you can.
Tell your friends you ADORE them, say thank you & mean it, flash your biggest & most sincere smile at strangers on the street, hug people for longer than normal. The more love you give out, the more it builds inside of you & the more you’ll get back — I pinky promise.
Wear sequins.
They’re a wonderful mood booster. If you’re too conservative to wear them, buy sequinned knickers & wear them secretly!
Take a bubblebath wearing a tiara.
Embrace the unknown.
Not everything needs to be planned to the last minute detail! Mystery is wonderful & invigorating. It is the zest of life.
Clean out your closet.
In addition to getting rid of old junk, cleaning out closets or cupboards is therapeutic because at the same time, you’re clearing space in your life for new, better things.
Increase the amount of spinach you eat.
It’s like a miracle food. It’s so good for you & makes you feel amazing! Throw it in a smoothie (you won’t even taste it), use it as the base instead of lettuce in a salad or just snack on baby spinach fresh out of the bag. Yum!
Forget about your “to do” list & just BE.
That’s when you’ll have the most fun, make the best breakthroughs & experience the most amazing adventures. Life is much more exciting & wonderful when you throw caution to the wind & do something ridiculous.
Make a little extra effort every day.
Your definition of “effort” could be wearing a bow on your head, brightly coloured socks or even just taking the time to sit down with a book every night before bed. Just pick something that you know will make you feel good, & then do it.
Listen to new types of music & dance!
Country? Bollywood? Rap? Seek it out & enjoy it with your whole body.
Treat yourself to new knickers.
It’s almost a sure-fire way of feeling sexier & more delighted. Getting 5 pairs of cute knickers for $25 at Victoria’s Secret is one of the great joys in life, I think!
Change your alarm clock to something which makes you smile.
For a long time, I had Flight Of The Conchords’ Foux De Fa Fa as my wake-up call. It was a wonderful way to wake up. “...Boeuf!”
Be good to your body.
You probably know what that means for you. So what are you waiting for?
Know that you deserve love…
From yourself & from everyone else.
Throw away your scales.
Or, if they were expensive & maybe something you need around, hide them. Put them in the back of your closet, into storage or inside a suitcase. Just don’t look at them. I haven’t weighed myself since 2006 & it hasn’t impacted my life negatively at all — in fact, I feel more free than ever. I don’t care how much I weigh, I just go by how I feel & how my clothing fits. You might like to give it a shot!
Be vibrant & colourful.
If not in dress, then in word & deed. The world has enough grey! Be the antidote!
Do something you’ve been afraid to do.
@ifyouneedtime tweeted, “Happy Valentine’s Day to me: 10 canvases, new acrylics, and texture building mix for the paint! 5+ yrs since I’ve painted. #radicalselflove” It’s never too late to do what you really want to do. Don’t let other people’s opinions or fear or criticism stop you from being as wonderful as you can be.
Read self hatred: beneath sugar-coated criticism + self improvement.
Self-criticism is not “love”, and it is certainly not indifferent. It’s a form of hatred. And when I name that, when I see it for what it is (raw and uncomfortable and saddening…) when I refuse to sugar-coat self criticism, judgment, agitation, and constantly trying to improve myself, then I’m one quantum leap closer to freedom. Out of the swamp. Grounded in love…
Start thinking of Valentine’s Day as a day for YOU.
A day to bask in the brilliance of you. A day to celebrate making it this far. A day to totally GET OFF on how rad you are. Treat yourself, luxuriate, have a bath which leaves you soft & wrinkly. Have a long nap & dream. Own it, make it yours. Then do the same next year, & the next, & the next…
Recognise that you are a miracle.
Eat dark chocolate.
As @kitty_polaca would say, FEED YOUR CURVES! Plus, dark chocolate is one of the healthiest foods you can eat! Truth!
Stop worrying about other people’s opinions.
It doesn’t matter whether it is the opinion of a stranger or your husband, sometimes we let what other people think determine how we live our life… & it’s ridiculous. Ultimately, their thoughts on what we do & how we do it are irrelevant — all that matters is that it sits well with you.
Nourish yourself.
Get still & listen to what your body is telling you it really needs.
Play the drums.
If you don’t have a drum-kit (& few of us do) or know of a drumming circle near you, chopsticks & a couple of boxes will totally do the trick! Shut the door, close your eyes, & start drumming. It makes for great therapy.
Find amazing new icons & role models.
Read up & get inspired to live your life out loud.
Get more sunshine.
It really will make you feel so good. In addition to strengthening your immune system, muscles & bones, Vitamin D also stimulates the pineal gland, which is the part of the brain responsible for producing happy feelings. Yum!
Stop trying to “fit in”.
It’s just conformity, which is the most boring thing ever! So WHAT if people stare at you? So WHAT if some people don’t get it? IT DOESN’T MATTER! Do your damn thing & be proud!
Recognise that life is only ever what you make it.
So why not make it magical, wonderful, beautiful & strange?
Get out everything that you’ve been holding onto.
Record it to your voicemail, draw it, write it down, just get it out of you somehow. Then destroy it, & let it go.
Write a letter to yourself as a child.
This can be an amazing exercise in forgiveness & pure, unadultered self love.
Run away.
Spend some time by yourself or with a close friend. Escape the usual. Go somewhere you’ve never been, spend some time, soak it up. It will shake up your vision of what the world is like & give you a fresh new perspective on things.
Keep your Radical Self Love totem on you at all times & start telling people about it.
Scary? Maybe. Do it anyway. Tell people what it is, why you’re wearing it, what it means to you & why they should try Radical Self Love too… !
Be brave.
Take a deep breath & just go for it.
Talk to strangers.
Even though your mother told you not to! You never know who you’ll meet or what genius they might impart.
Respect yourself 100%...
& don’t accept anything less from anyone else.
Make the most of every opportunity.
Even when you’re tired, afraid or nervous. If you hold back every time you don’t feel amazing, you’ll miss out on so much of life. Make the commitment to living boldly. Always remember: Fortes fortuna adiuvat. Fortune favours the brave.
Appreciate the people in your life.
Because everyone has a choice as to whether they want to be in your life or not! If you don’t show them how much they mean to you, they might not stick around, & it’s a hard lesson to learn. Be good to them. Let them know how much you value them all the time. You cannot be too loving!
Work on your Radical Self Love Bible all the time.
Even after the month is over. Radical Self Love is not just a one-month project! It is a life-long adventure! In your Bible, you can chart your progress, dive deeper into your own weirdness, explore your contradictions & embrace your own unique form of madness. Put in anything that you think is relevant. Journal your thoughts, chart your moods, make dream sheets (also called vision boards, just on a smaller scale), write affirmations, take note of powerful sayings & compose love letters to yourself. Keep it with you at all times & work on it when you’re waiting for the bus. Ask yourself questions & take time answering them. Re-answer them every week. See how things change. Channel powerful women until you feel like you are one too. Nothing is forbidden, everything is allowed. BE YOU!
Dress up for yourself.
Wear things which make you happy! Don’t dress to “attract a mate” or to impress your peer group, wear things that you like. Make yourself happy!
Really take time for yourself.
If you’re constantly scrambling around, bouncing from work to social engagement & back again, it’s inevitable that you’re going to feel exhausted & worn out. Taking some time for yourself is so valuable & something that a lot of us forget about. Wake up half an hour earlier & do some yoga or sun salutations, even sit in a comfortable chair & do some deep breathing — anything to get you grounded & centred for the day. It makes a huge, huge difference to your quality of life.
Think about this every day: “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” (Ayn Rand)
Thanks, Chris Guillebeau.
Set yourself enormous goals.
Goals which scare you, goals which cause a lump in your throat. AIM HIGH! Most people aim for mediocrity, & that’s exactly what they get. Don’t you deserve better?
Don’t allow yourself to rest on your laurels.
So you’ve made a name for yourself? Congratulations, that’s wonderful! Now try something new. Being the best is boring! Get into another industry, start something from the ground up. Don’t just do the same thing over & over again. Challenge yourself! It’s so much fun.
Be your own superhero.
Make magic every day.
It’s worth the small amount of extra effort to cultivate a more beautiful life.
Don’t live your life online.
...‘Cause as much as we love our computers, it only represents such a small part of what life is all about! Getting out into the streets, parks, mountains or oceans is so healthy & so vital. Unplug, do something different. Surprise yourself!
Volunteer.
Pick something which is important to you & see what you can do to help. Can you offer time, money, your voice or influence? So many people would really, really, really appreciate your help & attention.
Dance in public.
It’s very liberating if you’ve never done it before! & even if you HAVE... Dance in the library or something! Cause a scene. Make people smile. Totally worth it.
Be your own best friend.
As opposed to your own worst enemy…
Support other women.
No matter WHAT you may think of their choices or behaviour. It’s so easy to be jealous of one another or act like crazy people but ultimately it does no good. Seriously, swallow it down. We need each other, now more than ever!
Don’t patronise places that treat you poorly.
It only makes you feel bad about yourself! Give your money to the people who do a good job & who appreciate your business.
Don’t settle for things just because “it’s always been this way”.
Maybe it used to be that way, or maybe it is that way for other people, but NOT FOR YOU! Eff the status quo! Don’t compromise on things which are important to you!
Be good to your temple.
You only get one — might as well lavish it with love!
Be impeccable with your word.
This is from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements. “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.” If you say you’ll do something, do it. Don’t speak badly of other people. Use your words to uplift & spread love. Be honest & kind with the things you say.
Do “the right thing”, even when you’d get away with it, even when no one is watching.
It’s all about integrity, baby!
Treat other people with respect at all times.
Everybody, no matter their situation, deserves it.
Be compassionate.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand other people, or see where they’re coming from, but if you make a commitment to being compassionate, you will start to get a deeper understanding of human nature. It will make you much more peaceful, ‘cause when you can see where people are coming from, it’s hard to be mad!
Watch Eve Ensler.
...& write this down.
“You have to give to the world the thing that you want the most, in order to fix the broken parts inside you.” Eve Ensler, you are so good.
Operate on your own agenda.
Do you want to look a certain way, or does society want you to? Do you really want to have a social life that looks like this, or is it just what you think is expected? Don’t allow any industry or societal standard to bully you. You are who you are, & it’s worth hanging onto.
Innovate.
Try new things. Shake up your routine. See what works.
Evaluate your life & ruthlessly cut out the things which aren’t working.
...While at the same time keeping this in mind:
“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.” Thanks, Wayne Dyer.
Come up with your own definition of spirituality.
It doesn’t have to be religious or woo-woo in any way, it can just be a way of reconnecting yourself to the present moment. Some people do this by dancing, others by meditating. Whatever it is, make time for it in your life, & make it a priority.
Share your dreams.
Do not be afraid. When you share a dream with someone who loves you, you open yourself up to new ideas, new contacts & sometimes an extra pair of hands to pitch in! Be brave.
Reinvent yourself as an expression of pure love.
Spend time with people who do good things.
It will reinstate your faith in the human race & remind you of the inherent goodness in people. Much more uplifting than hanging out with pessimists!
Take action.
Channel Clint Eastwood.
& I quote: “Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.”
Incorporate meditative ritual into your life.
I think the word “meditation” puts a lot of people off, & it doesn’t need to. My idea of meditation is just focusing on nothing or clearing your mind. Walking meditation is rad — you walk out the door & keep going, letting all thoughts go as soon as they float into your consciousness. Don’t judge or beat yourself up if your mind is screaming for attention the first few times you do it, it’s totally normal. The pay-off — real clarity of mind — is amazing & worth going for.
Be inclusive.
Invite your friends places. Include everyone in the conversation. Ask people you don’t know so well about themselves. Make people feel like you want them there. The love & appreciation they’ll beam back at you will make you feel wonderful!
Think about what you want the theme of your life to be.
Is it an epic love story or a grand adventure? Or is the theme something more simple, & able to be summed up with a single word? “Discovery” or “freedom”? How can you bring that theme into your everyday life?
Think about how you can encourage other people to love themselves too.
When we carry the torch of radical self love, we become ambassadors for it, & are infused with the energy & ability to pass it on to other people. We can do this just by being ourselves — a living example — but there are specific ways in which we can help other people love themselves too. Think about your unique talents & strengths. How can you carry out the self love buzz?
Celebrate the ways in which you have grown & changed.
Growth is good, change is wonderful, evolution is fantastic. It’s proof that we’re on a path, that we’re going somewhere, that we’re living out our story to its full potential. Bake yourself a cake or somethin’!
Embrace your power.
Start dressing in a way which makes you feel sexy & confident…
As opposed to just following what’s in style. Not all silhouettes suit all people. There are definitely styles that are best for individual body types. Once you know what works for you, make the most of it! Few things make you feel better than knowing that you look great.
Love everyone.
Even when they hurt you, even when they don’t get it, even when they don’t listen & even when they behave badly. When you love, miracles happen.
Listen to Leonard Cohen.
“Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” (Thank you, Nadia.)
Get more sleep.
Most of us don’t get anywhere near enough hours of rest, & it can seriously impair our bodies & emotional states. Just go to bed a little bit earlier — you’ll feel so much better.
Look at this photo of Madonna. (NSFW!)
Be inspired. That is radical self love in action!
Apologise.
“While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.” (Buddy Hackett) Don’t allow problems or misunderstandings to fester. Don’t walk around angry, stewing in your juices. Just apologise so everyone can move on.
Take yourself on dates.
Get dressed up & go to the library, eat a delicious lunch next to the river, ride your bike around the city & make the best dinner you possibly can. I’ve said it before & I will say it again, you deserve your love much more than anyone else does.
Don’t take yourself too seriously!
It never leads to anything good, haha. If you can laugh at yourself, you’re well on your way.
Forgive yourself.
It’s all in the past. Time to move on, babe.
Just love yourself.
No matter the circumstances. You are always good enough, you always deserve it & you are always beautiful, despite what you might think or believe. Just love yourself.
Leave a comment with your best tip for RADICAL SELF LOVE.
Yes please!
Love & love & love,
Tags: inspiration,
life,
the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 9: Manifesting & magic-making!
My favourite tip to make me happy is to wear a faux pearly bracelt with absolutely everything! It adds a tiny touch of class to the day
That’s more like it!
also,
chocolate martinis.
gorgeous list, gala. just sitting here with my lovah, enjoying the day, and thankful for you!
Love it Love it!
Love me & Love you
Thank you
xoxo
You are such an inspiration, Gala. Honestly.
This one is my fave: “Evaluate your life & ruthlessly cut out the things which aren’t working.” It’s ruthless, unrelentless self-love. Most excellent, though not always easy. I’ve actually been evaluating my life and cutting out who/what doesn’t work, all in the name of self-love.
A happy Valentine’s Day to you, Gala, and all of you lovers!
Oh! And one of my faves to practice that I’ve heard is to look yourself in the eye, in the mirror, and tell yourself how awesome and loved you are by you. And then, look at each part of you that you may be not so loving about, and tell each of those parts, too. Fake it til you mean it, and love yourself and each and every part.
My #1 tip for loving yourself:
Laugh in a million zillion ways. Laugh about people, faces, jokes, mistakes, anything. Laughing is my favorite way to love myself, because I know I am a silly person, and I love silly things.
Great list! I think I am going to put some of these ideas in action!
After a pretty bad day of procrastinating and sat here worrying about a number of things, this has been a HUGE pick me up! I’ve printed it out and stuck it to the wall (the one right in front of my when I’m working).
Thank you so much, keep on inspirint the 1000’s that you do.
Much love,
Annabel xXx
I just KNEW you were a SARK fan.
You are amazing! Great list! My favourite way to profess self love is to get dressed up in an amazing outfit and take my camera on a date. Especially if it sunny out, or the crowd at the coffee shop is of a nice size.
This was a treat to read! A lot of my friends are down because of this “Singles Awareness Day”. Fools! I think today is one of the most adorable days of the year because the whole world is decked out in hearts, pink, red, chocolate, balloons, etc!
My advice would be to draw happy faces on everything! I don’t know if it’s hazardous, but once I drew smiling faces on every one of the eggs in one carton, and whenever I opened it, it was so funny.
Thanks for mentioning me, Gala! :)
Talking to strangers is great!
Forgiving yourself is the best you can.
Trying to fit in is passé, girls! :D
luv
Kitty
This is awesome! I just tweeted it and I hope all of my followers read it. LOVE IT, Gala!!!
yo! I’m dressed up at the library right now. I’m wearing a little black lace veil and a baggy striped sweater with heels.
I say drink cocktails with your housemates in sexy lingerie. That’s what I’m doing tonight, anyway.
Also just want to say that I wrote a piece on my blog about how to be happy and single on valentines day
polkadotstripes.wordpress.com/...
I thought I would share with you guys the love letter I wrote to myself for Valentines Day.
Take a bubblebath wearing a tiara.
I love that, I am so doing that ASAP. This article was amazing, Gala. =)
My tip would be….listen to music that makes you feel really, really good. It can be anything from death metal to rap—just find something you think is awesome and listen and feel super happy. =D
I thought I would share with you guys the love letter I wrote to myself for Valentines Day. tinypic.com/r/o8t5dj/6 Try writing one to yourself. It feels great!
I love this list!
I like to write “I love YOU” (at myself) in the fog on the shower doors when I’m having my morning shower. It’s a great start of the day! :)
Also, I wrote a post about how to beat the blues (which also includes self-love aspects). You can see it here: www.mausumi.com/2010/01/13/14
Amazing Post I love them allll
Trust yourself.
Nice post!
I love the post Gala!
I love laying on the ground and watching the clouds, and pondering about the vastness of the sky.
Post ‘I’m F****** Brilliant’ at the top of your mirror for you to see every morning when you get up.
Buy a corkboard and post a collage of of happy pictures on it.
Don’t be afraid to put yourself & your talents out there.
Forgive yourself for having a flop day. We aren’t all perfect & 100% every day!
And of course, read positive blogs like this one!
10x a lot Gala Darling.♥ I needed this whole article to read, and to feel good again about myself.♥
I look for to read yoooor other articles.
take care ♥
I always start my day with a big cuddlefest with my rats c: My favourite one had to be put down on Friday night because he was very sick, but loving the other two makes it hurt less to miss him♥
Regarding buying new knickers, just a heads-up to all the girls in the UK: Topshop has a 3 for £9 offer on their underwear. And they are so very, very cute!
And thank you Gala, this made me feel amazing and like I’m Going To Get Stuff Done and Love It! Horraah!
draw a heart on the mirror in a public restroom, it’ll cheer up the day of everyone who sees it and yours as well! (not to mention give you that little kid drawing on walls and getting away with it feeling ;))
Make something! Even if it’s something small, nothing fills me with such a sense of pride and self worth then a little bit of creating :)
Buy a plant, like aloe vera (they make lots of babies you can re-pot to give away as gifts!), put little charms like crystals, tiny maneki neko, feathers in the soil and wrap the pot in ribbon. Put it somewhere you can see it often. Plants aid creativity. www.plantscapers.com/whyplants…
Buy or make an orgon energy generator (ie the holy hand grenade :P) and keep it on your desk. www.orgoneenergy.org/orgone
Hmm… my tip would have to be chocolate tea. Nothing is more delicious or brain-stimulating.
When I began to accept that throughout my life, I WILL get hurt, it’s inevitable, and it’s NOT my fault but it’s also inevitable that I WILL heal, I began to love myself and my life again.
So much love, you are totally awesome!
You would probably love this yoga routine www.iyogalife.com/corepowerhou…
I have been obsessing over Leonard Cohen recently, he is really amazing.TAKE SELF-PORTRAITS. Make yourself look pretty on camera! It’s a self-esteem boost because how you appear is entirely under your control.
That’s what I’ve been doing all week:
www.flickr.com/photos/juniper
how can you outdo yourself everytime? You are amazing, gala!
Wear heels, you see the world in a different light. Also stand as straight as possible each day since it is good for your body and makes you look slimmer!
love this so very much
Thank you Gala for these words, and the message you spread, the constant inspiration. Thank you for introducing me to Eve Ensler. It’s so simple, yet so powerful. It shook me and overwhelmed me, and made me sob. Because its so true… and it’s so good.
This post is amazing!
Just what I needed to keep me inspired with RSL! (i.e. Radical Self Love. When I write in my ‘bible’ I abbreviate it in flowing cursive and it looks like an old fashioned monogram)
I was especially excited to see the 1 about Volunteering. I am lying in bed thoroughly exhausted because I was volunteering in an overnight program for a museum last night/this morning (we stay overnight there, which equals no sleep). Doing that is something that makes me feel so good and seeing the kids get excited about learning and having a great time is awesome. Plus the people I work with are smart and interesting. So yea, VOLUNTEERING ROCKS! :)
Also, like Katie Gee =) I am all about feel good music! Right now I can’t get enough of Patrick Wolf. He is such a versatile and inspiring musician. Plus he is cute and makes kick ass videos. Examples below:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqWIfy…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFI9s6…
Sheer brilliance!
My favorite thing? Taking my time in the morning to pamper myself, giving myself a mani & pedi, facial, long bath (or shower, whatever strikes my fancy), taking as long as I want to do my hair and makeup (I can be as quick as 15-20 minutes, or I could take hours haha), wear the most awesome outfit I possibly can…bust out my camera and take myself on a photoshoot and fill up the memory card. I also love it because then I have a bit of a stock for when I may want to change my profile pictures on twitter or facebook, hahaha.
You are so good at what you do! You just keep continually spreading the love, no matter what! Totally miss you tons…
This is gorgeous! I can’t wait to write down these quotes and put them in my Radical Self Love journal. I think that singing- loudly and off-key is liberating and one of my favourite things to do.
I wear a pearl necklace everyday, it makes me feel pretty and I get so many compliments on it. So I guess My suggestion is just do something that makes you feel pretty or good about yourself everyday!
Whoah! GO Madonna! She is so awesome & fiercely brave.
I believe that when you love yourself, & aren’t afraid to show it, it can either push people away (pessimists? who needs em!) or draw people toward you. I like to think that the ones that are drawn to you are the positive, awe-inspiring people that we all need in our lives – like-minded people that also love themselves & aren’t scared of taking risks!
Thankyou Gala. & all the rest of you lovely people for your comments…. You rock!
I feel like shit almost all the time and this article seems to be very helpful =) thank u so much!!!
I’ll start right now
Hi Gala!
I saw this, and though I haven’t listened to it yet (I’ll explain in a second), from the poster’s explanation it sounded totally like something that would fit in with Radical Self Love month.
thataustingirl.blogspot.com/20…
Sooo funny that you mentioned switching yourself off technologically – all of this week I’m only doing one hour of internet a day(using internet on my phone is a no-no too!), and I think after this week I’m going to try and have one or two days of the week where no internet is allowed. I think it will really help clear my mind, as well as letting me fill the time with other fulfilling things – I didn’t miss it as much as I expected to, today! I didn’t think of it as an act of radical self love, but I guess it can be! (That’s why I haven’t listened to the program yet – only doing 30 minutes in the morning & night, so no time until the end of this week.)
Here’s looking at you, kid. Gala Darling, Playgirl extraordinaire. Empress of style, Queen of bubbles and sequins, fearless Radical Self Love Revolutionary. You’re an inspiration, lady. Don’t ever forget all the good you have inspired in other people.
P.S. My suggestion? Call your best friend over and do something outrageous. Giggle to your heart’s content afterwards. (You don’t have to streak; you could just practice your amateur ballroom dancing in public.)
Fabulous list! I’ll definitely be adding this to my RSL Bible…
My tip: Look at yourself in the mirror and SMILE! Really big! See how beautiful you are!
Thanks so much for your advice about writing down complements you receive – I just made a wee list of the ones I’ve received in the last couple of days and realised there were so many more than I would have thought of otherwise! A fantastic exercise, I got a great self-esteem boost from seeing the love from others en masse.
My suggestion: Don’t feel guilty about simply giving yourself the entire day off – don’t feel like you have to run errands, don’t feel like you have to see anyone you don’t want to, take some time for yourself – get back into bed and read a book, watch a movie, ANYTHING YOU LIKE. It is such a relief sometimes to get away from the world and regroup.
Take responsibility for your own happiness. No blame. No bitterness. No regrets. Always moving forwards to a good place. Change what needs to change and revel in whatever’s working for you and your inside people.
‘Have that “awkward” conversation.
You’ve been holding it in too long. Bite the bullet, take a deep breath, & tell the truth. Be gentle but honest. No one can predict how they’ll react, but it doesn’t really matter. The time has come. Say it, & move on.’
This really hit home for me tonight because when I sat down to read this I had just gotten back from dropping off a letter to my former lover about how awkward things had become between us, and how I wanted that to not be the case. I was completely nervous about it even though I knew it was the right thing to do. And I’m nervous about how he’ll react, but I’m still proud of myself for having done it. So hopefully I can get some sleep now! :)
So thank you so much for writing this, it truly is lovely—as are you!
music is and always will be the best medicine.
turn it up and just let your body loose and dance.
allow yourself to be silly.
no rehearsals. life’s on air.
Thank you so much for this. I am having a rough time right now, and reading this really made me feel good.
I am totally in love with this! You are an inspiration and I appreciate you so much for your great advice (:
Spend time with those who you love and who you know love you back. Also, smiling in the mirror consistently can totally uplift your spirit. Light your room up with candles of your favorite scent and fall asleep in the warm dim light. Tell yourself that you are magnificent, thank yourself wholeheartedly, and hug yourself when you are falling into pieces. Accept yourself. Embrace your talents. Embrace your flaws. Embrace your vulnerabilities. Remember you are a unique creature who is beautiful in her own special and magical way.
These always help me (:
Eat the food you love that loves you back. It makes you feel good inside and out.
My radical self love tip; I write myself “notes to self” like this:
hercoffin.net/?p=330
: )
i just thought i should tell you how amazing you are and how amazing you make me feel
just an hour ago i really really wanted to go rollerbalding but i was thinking everyone will laugh at me (btw i’m 16) but then i read this and made me think fuck it and totaly rollerbladed the dust out off my rollerblades it was the best fun i’v had in ages so thanks
your amazing :)
Ah! I forgot to mention – I love that you had “Foux da Fafa” as your alarm! .. I have Jemaine’s part in “Leggy Blonde” as my text message alert haha!
I didn’t realize how much good I’d been doing until I read this! :) Rock on, gratitude!
Also… one of my favorite webcomic artists drew this for Valentine’s Day this year, and wrote a lovely little bit on celebrating love for a different part of her life each year from now on! When I read it, I thought, “Oh, TOTALLY rad self-love right there!”
i write post its to myself and stick them on my bathroom mirror.
i also love to paint my toe nails bright colours.
mmmm i love spinach so much!
tarwe.wordpress.com
p.s. happy chinese new year =]
“when I refuse to sugar-coat self criticism, judgment, agitation, and constantly trying to improve myself, then I’m one quantum leap closer to freedom.”
Thank you endlessly for everything in this post and everything to do with Radical Self Love. Lately I keep coming here and reading your articles when I feel anxious or not good enough (which has been more often). Each time I leave feeling buoyed up by your words and your determination to see the world as a good place. Tonight was one of those times, I think you’re becoming like a regular pick me up.
Amazing work.
give your feet a decent pedicure! Scrub your feet, give them a file, file and buff the nails, tidy up your cuticles, lots of yummy smelly moisturizer, then paint your nails a colour you love.
and surround yourself with gorgeous smells. I have some rose patchouli and ylang ylang essential oil with the sticks in the oil in the bedroom, and cocoa and vanilla bean oil in the bathroom and kitchen. Star of anise and ginseng incense sticks (and vanilla/cocoa bean sticks – getting a theme here?!) burn every night. Splash yourself every morning with yummy perfume and have a bottle in your bag for top ups. Buy yummy lip balms and hand creams for a quick pick-me-up during the day.
Walk early in the morning and smell the freshness of a new day.
Cyrelle, next time I buy eggs I am totally doing that, thats hilarious!
The main way I keep myself self-lovin’ is to constantly remind myself that what works for others does not necessarily work for me, and what works for me does not necessarily work for others. If my housemate gets up at 6am and does a bunch of productive things, but I need to sleep a bit later and then spend the morning sipping coffee and slowly waking up, thats ok, its just what works for each of us. If my friend has one night stands and doesn’t want to be in a relationship, but I love being in a relationship and can’t think of anyting I would less rather do than have anonymous sex, thats ok too. Different people have different lifestyles that make them happy, I am learning to accept that and stop trying to change myself or others.
Gala, you couldn’t have penned a more lovely article if you tried: these suggestions are practically OVERFLOWING with gorgeousness!
Sorry to disappoint you, but Om Namah Shivaya means nothing of the sort.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aum_Nama…
Hiya Gala :) this list is full of awesomeness!
The first one I’m doing is “Do something you’ve been afraid to do.” I’ve just booked in to give blood on Wednesday and I’m terrified of needles but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, so thank you for giving me the kick up the ass I needed!
Thank you Gala, I truly ADORE you. It’s like you know exactly where i stand. Radical selflove is what i’ve been working on for few months now, it’s fab how my favorite guide so far has manifested! Love xxx
Eternal Voyager : This is what I got from researching the mantra.
Om Navah Shivaya = I bow to Shiva.
Shiva/Siva/Sivaya = Divine inside you. Also, a God of cycles or destruction in a positive sense ie of sins or bad habits.
Any thoughts? xx
When gearing up for something that scares me, I get the Indiana Jones theme song going in my head. It makes me feel like I can take on anything!
‘I love being a girl! I’m an emotional creature’ Just stayed up all night watching Eve Ensler at various TEDs. Wow. I’m really feeling the love here right now.
You know I was never much bothered to get my driver’s license because I wanted to ride a motorcycle instead. It’s a thought that inspires me, scares the shit out of me and makes me giggle like nothing else all at the same time. I had all these excuses lined up as to why I should wait or stop or just give up. After reading this all my doubts melted away. I’m going to do it. I don’t care if it takes me 30 pre-learner courses, I don’t care what people say. I’ve never given up on myself before and I’m sure as hell not going to start now.
Gorgeous list, made my day, literally.
And my tip for self love is to end each day by hugging yourself for a few minutes, feeling your own body and how much you love yourself, how Important you are.
I love so much of this list! This is an odd one to comment on out of all of them, I know a lot of people who freak out over not having a scale in their home. I haven’t weighed myself regularly in years, I don’t own a scale, and I never think about the numbers. I highly recommend this.
Yesterday, I passed a Caribou Coffee on my way to a rehearsal. Even though I only had a few dollars in my wallet, I stopped to get a fruit smoothie, remembering Rachel’s ten commandments (http://polkadotstripes.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/rachels-10-radical-self-love-commandments/). The smoothie was mediocre, but I felt loved anyway!
I love L.Cohen and that lyric, but listening to him is like a one-way ticket to weeping in a dark room while “The Partisan” plays, for me.
He’s like a special reserve, you break him out when you need it most…usually while the Prozac kicks in. ;)
Just ran some oatmeal through the coffee grinder, gonna dump it in my bath and polish up the sparkly pink tiara!
give more kisses! kiss your best friend, your dog, your lover, your crush… share the love you feel for yourself with others.
Compliment strangers. I promise nothing brightens my day more than when a stranger compliments me.. so for RSL I’m returning the favor.
Thank you for this wonderful list Gala!
Thank you.
I wrote out a big paragraph but “Thank you” is all I need to say.
P.S I totally need to invest in a tiara!
hit the salon, but make it someone you like and feel comfortable being around.
Beautiful list! You are so awesome and bring so many happy vibes to my life, thank you :)
The room suddenly got warmer after viewing that Madonna picture…whoa!
love to you, Gala!! I made the topic of my yoga class yesterday: radical self-love & compassion…!
Thank you again for posting such wonderful, positive advice.
I read this “self hatred: beneath sugar-coated criticism + self improvement.” and it speaks exactly to where I am right now which is amazing. I love how our sisterhood is way tuned in!
i copied a few of these into a heart-covered journal i was given as a gift, and realized i was inadvertently starting a self-love diary.
i also ran across this quote today and wrote it in my diary:
“When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for.”
Love it! I’m going to print this and put in on my wall. Next year I’m going to take a whole year of spending it on things I love to do. Great inspiration Gala darling.
Look into your bathroom mirror.
Stare at yourself, stare RIGHT into your own beautiful eyes.
Open your pretty little mouth, and say “You are beautiful.”
If you don’t believe it, say it again. “You. Are. Beautiful.”
Smile.
Walk away believing you are beautiful.
Because you are.
For me: STOP THINKING and DO SOMETHING – ANYTHING...I think others on this list mentioned something similar…make something, do something, get out of your head if you spend too much time there, as I am wont to do…
Very nice post gala, i really liked the bit about having role models, very true…although that photo of madonna made me a little sick.
OH and really love the one about having massive, scary goals and not settling for mediocre achievement. this is actually my new years resolution because i’m about to start university and have spent my whole life only aiming for good enough. i just want to push myself really hard for once and actually do my best. it seems ridiculous that i have never truly applied myself to anything besides making a wicked coffee and being a good girlfriend!
accept compliments.
(and give them out liberally)
This is one of the best lists you have ever published. I am sorry I didn’t read this yesterday.
My own personal mantra for life is
“Work hard, be nice” so simple but just sums it up..
xx
My tip is to remember that other people have problems too. I find that I always worry about how defective I am. I’m confused about a lot of things, and in my head, everyone around me is perfectly together and happy with themselves. They know exactly who they are and they have no real issues. I’m the only one who is having any trouble with life. This is obviously not true, and I have to remind myself constantly.
to me, two years ago
i know how confusing everything is right now. i know how much it hurts and how you don’t know what to do because it seems like every option will only make the hurting worse.
you are in a bad situation and you need to break free of it. it might be painful but things WILL get better eventually. you will discover —— and —— and —— and they will make life seem more than worth living. you might have a hard time knowing who you are at first, because you have been lost for so long. but pretty soon you will be on fire.
i know it sounds hard to believe, but someday you will think about him and you will not feel one god damn thing. you will know that his opinion of you doesn’t count for shit. you will know that the girls he dated before you were the same lost young girls who had to put up with his shit just like you did. you won’t hate them or be jealous of them anymore. (sarah who?)
When you are my age, you will still have plenty of insecurities. But you will be nowhere near the suicidal despair you have come to know. You will be far from loving yourself but you will be trying as hard as you can. Yes, it is still possible for you to get a massive crush.
i don’t blame you or hate you for any of the choices you have made. sometimes it makes me upset but i understand and have compassion.
i love you,
your future self.
WRITE ONE OF THESE.
I love this site. I came here from stumbleupon and I will be back :)
My tip= FOLLOW YOUR GUT!!!
PS,
Dear Gala, a was given a cute little “fairy-castle” cactus with a little pink flower, and i named it after you :P
this is good. i like it.
My thoughts…
-I first heard about om namah shivaya when I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (I highly recommend it! Especially for radical self love). I like the idea, even though she had trouble with it. I’ve also read somewhere that it means “hail to the (male) god within me” and… well, as a feminist, I’m not sure I like that. But, a good idea nonetheless.
-I love getting rid of stuff in my closet… I like to sell it to consignment to make a little $$, or, last summer I had a garage sale & that was tons of fun. I made $300+, met people from my community, and got to sit outside in the sun all day with my mom. :) Some neighbor kids came over and set up a lemonade stand, which was adorable. Old friends stopped by who I hadn’t seen in awhile (some of them without meaning to do so!)
-I like the idea of making extra effort. I’ve realized how much better I feel when I take the extra five minutes to do my make-up or run a flat iron over my hair even when I’m feeling lazy. It makes a difference and takes no time at all!
-I’m totally going to pick up drumming, that sounds fun. And good for my nervous energy, I’m always doing something with my hands or jiggling my leg.
-A lot of these tips make me think of this quote, which I love: “I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful.” Frederick Perls
-Re: “Run Away” I want to buy a guide book for my own city and go to all the places I’ve never been. There are more than you’d expect! It’s a fun thing to do with a friend.
-I think I kind of had a radical self love bible before this month. At the end of 2009, I bought a notebook (that’s not new…I buy way more notebooks than I know what to do with!) that is absolutely adorable. It’s called “collage your memory” and I just really like the cute little designs in it. Anyway, I’m a list-maker so I started to think of things I’d like to make lists of. Then I flipped to a random page, wrote down the subject on the top, and when it comes to that day, I will write about it. I look forward to getting to days with these little list-prompts on them. Here are some of the ones I’ve done: “What would you do differently if you knew no one would judge you?” “Write your future life story.”
-re: celebrate ways in which you’ve grown and changed… I had a realization a few months ago of just how much I’ve learned over the past few years. I was actually on an airplane when this happened. That didn’t stop me from writing it all down in my own words. I am so thankful that I have learned these lessons and that I can actually see my own personal growth.
Alright, I’m finally at the end of the list. :) Sorry for such the long comment. I do hope you read it. I can’t believe how young you are, Gala. You seem so much older to me! I really admire you and everything you do, and I always look forward to your posts when I see them on my reader. Thank you for everything you do!
Gala, you are absolutely amazing. This is my first time commenting on your blog, and I just wanted to say that your articles have changed my life! You take all the woonderful things I already know about myself deep down, and bring them to the surface.
My best RADICAL SELF-LOVE tip would be to dance naked in the mirror! I don’t always love how my body looks, but I do love the way my body moves. Any woman, no matter what size or shape, can move with grace and beauty!
Again, thanks for helping remind all of us that we are beautiful, unique, and powerful. I love love love you so much, you don’t even know!
Leaving bright pink sticky notes on the doors of everyone on the floor of my dormitory, because everyone deserves some mystery love.
More self-love? How about drinking imported beer and cheap chinese food while naked and watching the Olympics.
Get outside your comfort zone! Shake things up!
Oh, and get a massage/hair cut/pedicure etc. YUM!
This is a gorg post lady love!
Tips:
Dance freely and wildly several times a day
Laugh hysterically or at least smile until your face hurts
breathe deeply and slowly often
make noises of appreciation and pleasure
oh so many that I am going to write them in my bible
Thanks for everything!!
d
xx
Thank you for the list & the mention, Gala!
xxooxooxoxo!!
Dear Gala,
thank you, thank you, thank you. Lately things in my life became so complicated and I felt so worn out. And then, I came to your site and voila! It’s everything I was looking for, it’s inspirational and simply amazing. Thanks to people like you I know that things are going to be ok, that if I want to change my life-I can, simple as that:)
as for tip- remember that challenges are disguised opportunities
lots of love,
J
>>Love everyone.
Even when they hurt you, even when they don’t get it, even when they don’t listen & even when they behave badly. When you love, miracles happen.
Amen! and thank you Gala x
My top tip for radical self-love: don’t save your good perfume just for special occasions, squirt it on every day so you smell good for every occasion. You’re the main person who’ll get to enjoy it afterall.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha
Yn7zvY xhhjtygjdpnc, [url=http://ehffwxunkjxs.com/]ehffwxunkjxs[/url], [link=http://utbdeaxkoxri.com/]utbdeaxkoxri[/link], purbuckgkeeg.com/
Wow. Eve Ensler is amazing. I’d heard all about the Vagina Monologues but never knew about the woman who wrote it and the incredible things she has done and started. I cried, and I never cry! That oh-so-true quote is going next to my mirror so I see it every day. xoxo
My favorite tip for self-love is to be kind to yourself. If you make a mistake, pick yourself up, give yourself a mental hug and tell yourself that it’s O.K. Beating yourself up only makes you feel miserable and afraid of failure. If you treat yourself kindly, you will feel better about taking risks and trying new things, because you know you won’t have to answer to a miniature tyrant in your mind if things don’t work out.
Gala, Thank you for all the wonderful ideas and suggestions, I am implementing a slew of them as we speak! My big problem is I can’t find a job and it isn’t from a lack of trying let me assure you! Here in sunny San Diego the unemployment rate is very, very high, those of us who have been laid off are having a very hard time finding any work! Ideas? Thanks for listening! Sincerely, Lissa, the unemployed yet still hopeful
I know that I came with my sad tale of unemployment but I do have a dream…I want to make clothes and sell them on line! I am thinking really cute skirts and fun jewelry…I am creative and feel that I have something to offer in that area/arena! I guess I just need a bit more confidence and ambition…will try to channel Gala…Gala…how does one start ones own online business with little to work with at first? Thanks for listening, sincerely, Lissa
This list was such a treat! One of my favorite ways to perk up each day is to wear an item or trinket that is special to you each and every day. For me, it’s a cute little ring my dad bought me once when we were on vacation. I’ve worn it every day for 6 years! It’s my good luck charm.
Zoe, you got it right ! I do speak Sanskrit, so I know there´s nothing about a “she”, respect, or heart.
Thank you for this!