(I promise that this will be my last post on shoes for ages! I swear!)

Okay, I have a confession to make. I am wearing ugg boots. RIGHT NOW. At this very moment. Cozy black sheepskin around my tootsies. Yes. Dear god, are they ever comfortable, especially when you compare them to the shoes I normally wear. They are blissful. I finally understand why people love these so much. But I feel extremely conflicted about the entire thing, because ever since they first flurried their way into the collective consciousness, I’ve been banging on about how ugly they are. They are not flattering & they are definitely not sexy. Sartorial tug-of-war!

It’s tricky, you know? I don’t really want to take them off… ever. I have worn them outside the house once, to buy a slice of pizza from next door, & when I came back home I decided I was going to have to impose a rule on myself. Because I just don’t think they are acceptable for public wear. They are dangerous, like trackpants. So easy to put on, so hard to take off.

So for those of you in similar situations, I would like to propose some Ugg Boot Rules.

1. Ugg boots may not be worn outside the front door — or off your property in general. Walking down to get the mail in them is okay, but running next door for a coffee is not.

2. Ugg boots may not be worn in conjunction with a denim miniskirt, oversized sunglasses & a paper cup of “venti”-sized Starbucks.

3. If you do buy a pair — & for those of you in the Southern hemisphere, going into winter, this is the perfect time to snap some up — buy them in black, not tan or any of those novelty colours. At least with black ones you can pretend that they’re not there. They just look like a shadow moving across the floor. Hard to do when you buy them in “grape” & you look like Grimace from the shins down.

I say, think of uggs like a pair of bunny slippers. Totally awesome & comfortable inside the house; completely unacceptable & pretty much a crime against humanity to wear in public.

What do you think about ugg boots? Do you own a pair? If so, do you wear them in public? If you don’t own any, why is that? What comes to mind when you think of uggs? (For me, it’s Pamela Anderson — a sweet girl I’m sure, but not exactly my style icon.)

I don’t know though. I mean, maybe they’re not all bad if Raquel Welch wore them?!