The Biggest Lessons I Learned In 2017… That I’m Taking With Me Into 2018
This piece was inspired by Danielle LaPorte’s post Shitty. Amazing. Resilient. Action. 17 Things I Did to Make the Most of This Year. It’s a glorious piece. I love reading about how people are maximising their lives, and in thinking about my own list, I gave myself the opportunity to look back on my year and really see it for what it was.
These are some of the lessons that I learned in 2017, a year that was — no lie — one of the hardest of my life. Until it wasn’t. And nothing really changed except for my mindset… And then everything changed. Pretty cool.
Everything is happening for me, not to me. I had heard this so many times before, but it wasn’t until I heard it from a man in Mexico during a heart-opening ceremony that I really got it. If everything is happening for you — in other words, it’s teaching you something, or giving you an opportunity to grow and change, or providing you with a chance to see things differently — then it becomes so much easier to cope with pain. And believing this is a self-fulfilling prophecy: when I applied this line of thought to challenging moments, I was able to move up the emotional ladder, from despair to hope, from sadness to understanding. It has helped me see things that might have otherwise been soul-crushing as an opportunity for expansion. That is huge, and it has been so powerful.
I made my mindset a priority. OMG y’all. After torturing myself with my own thoughts for the majority of my life, I stumbled upon the teachings of Abraham-Hicks and remembered that I am creating my reality with my thoughts, and when I make feeling good a priority, everything else in my life works. I was so inspired by feeling good that I filmed six videos about it! If you wanna get on this train with me, check out my Wonderland Sessions playlist, or sign up for the Unicorn Cleanse!
I realised my own power. It became clear to me that if I could create so much pain and confusion in my life, then I was equally capable of creating amazing things too. (And when I looked objectively at my life, I saw all the beautiful things I had already manifested.) We really can create anything in our lives — both good and bad — and the difference between them is where we put our attention. When I kept putting my attention on what I didn’t want, I created more of it. Surprise! It is just as easy to put my attention on what I love and what I want. Done.
I became aware of where I was trying to “feel good” in all the wrong places. There were so many instances of trying to find love (also known as alignment) outside of myself. I was trying to get it from my partner, through my work, in shopping, in putting conditions on my happiness. Newsflash: the hit of happiness you get from these things is short-lived at best. The only way to feel good is by getting into alignment with yourself. Nothing else will really, truly do it. #amen
Working alone in my house is not the only option. As much as I love to be alone to write, 11 years is a long time to sit in your house! In 2017, I joined The Wing and it was incredible! For those of you who don’t know, The Wing is an all-women co-working space in NYC, and it’s my new favourite place to be. When my friend Ophira emailed me telling me they’d opened, I applied immediately, and quickly started making it my home away from home. I love it for so many reasons. It’s pink, the women are lovely, they invite me to perform rituals on their rooftop, I’m super-productive there… But the best part is being surrounded by other women who are just as committed to their craft as I am. It’s easy to stay home, get distracted, and watch 5 episodes of the Kardashians. When I’m at The Wing, I’m reminded that output matters. I get more done there in a shorter amount of time, and then I can come home and just chill. It’s delicious. And they just raised millions of dollars in funding so they can go international! You should definitely join.
I don’t have to be on social media all the time. One of the best things I did last year was delete Twitter from my phone. It feels so good. I very, very rarely check it on my laptop — maybe once every couple of days. It’s such a tidal wave of bad news and in order to be creative and live at my highest capacity, I simply cannot tune my frequency to all that. Abraham-Hicks says, “There is no issue worth sacrificing the vortex for,” and I agree. I will not sacrifice feeling good just so I can be on Twitter. No thank you!
Going on vacation alone is good for my soul. I took myself on a mini writing retreat in Tulum, and it reminded me who I was. A few days by myself in another country felt like everything I ever needed. I’d wake up with the sunrise, exercise, write until I was ready to eat, and then walk along the beach, get some sun, swim, and relax. It was truly living the dream. I am definitely going to do more of this in 2018.
I don’t have to guilt-trip myself for not wanting to go out all the time. Dude. I may be an ENFP, but sometimes ya girl is tired and just wants to chill. Occasionally I will go days without seeing anyone, and now I don’t feel bad about it at all, and it’s so wonderful! Why pretend to be someone you’re not? Life feels too delicious when you are actually doing what you want! And one of the unexpected benefits of this is that when I do decide to go out, I enjoy it so much! I get dressed in the vortex (see below), I set my intentions before I arrive, and it is almost always a spectacular experience. So much better than the way I was conducting my social life before (which was mostly out of obligation and never really wanting to be wherever I was).
It’s so much fun to get dressed inside the vortex! (“The vortex” being that place where I feel good.) You know, I’ve had a fantastic wardrobe (by which I mean the second definition of fantastic: “imaginative or fanciful; remote from reality“) for a long time, but I didn’t always feel like wearing it. When you’re anxious and low energy, the urge to wear leggings and a sweater is at an all-time high. However, when I make a point of feeling really good and then getting dressed… Look out! Bring on the pink faux fur coats, sunglasses that would give Elton John a run for his money, over-the-knee boots and multi-coloured wig collection! I have been having SO MUCH FUN with this. I mean, look at the photo at the top of this post! That was my new year’s eve outfit. In fact, I even made a hashtag for getting dressed in the vortex, and created Instagram Story highlights too. I can’t wait to continue doing this. It feels awesome.
My home truly is my sanctuary. I became even more intentional with my space and made an effort to make it exactly how I like it. It’s my place, I pay the rent, so why not make it feel as good as possible? I have been filling my home with roses, there’s a hot pink rug in the living room, I turned my bed itself into a temple (with faux sheepskins, blankets, and fluffy pillows) and hung technicolour art above it, I put iridescent streamers in my living room, and I dotted neon signs around the place. In my bedroom, I sleep underneath rose quartz bedding and on top of flannel sheets covered in little grey stars. It feels so good in here. My next step? Turn the spare room into a fully functional wardrobe. I can’t wait.
I already have everything I need within me. Oh boy. I have finally realised that I already possess every attribute I need, and the only thing standing in my way is whether I believe it or not. (My man has helped me see this, and for that I am eternally grateful. Words cannot do this justice.) Knowing this and aligning it with my actions is making me stronger and more powerful every single day.
Here’s to a year of love, laughter, glamour, and feeling good.