April Fool’s Day aside, here are some of my favourite links of the week, aka all the distractions I could possibly muster up for you!

Um… this is quite awkward. Beauty Queen Killer Poses in Panties with Gun: ‘I Want to Make Some Money’. Read the article, don’t just watch the video!

This is EXCELLENT & 100% true: 27 Reasons Why Your Blog Doesn’t Deserve To Exist.

Bolivia. Would you ever move there? Have you already?

Iceland’s official Tumblr (huh?!) wrote about Nubby & I visiting! Thanks, Iceland!

Find this man a wife. I liked this piece. Being a cynic is kind of boring. Here’s his site.

My boss assaulted me but I stayed. Now I feel worthless. How do I regain a sense of value? Advice from Cary Tennis & a good conversation on self-love.

Transwhat? A Guide Towards Allyship.

Letterheady is a collection of celebrity letterheads — so cool!

This interview with David Dallas is excellent.

How drug reps influence doctors. From free pens to elaborate three-course meals, Big Pharma is shameless about promoting itself. Sadly, it works.

I preached against homosexuality, but I was wrong. Salon is awesome.

Five Rules From The Chief Virgoan Of Fashion. I love you Tom Ford.

Playing Well With Drugs: An Interview With Eddie Einbinder.

Tell me about this trip you just got back from.

I was in upstate New Hampshire, somewhere really rural, for six days at a gathering for people to just, well, do drugs in peace. There was a lot of DMT, MDA, acid, mescaline…

This article is fascinating to say the least. Cannibals Seeking Same: A Visit To The Online World Of Flesh-Eaters.

The distinction, again, comes down to consent. “Consenting adults should be able to do whatever the hell they want to, up to and including killing each other,” Loco said.

Don’t Be Jealous (No. Really. Don’t.) from Yes & Yes.

No one will know you are writer unless you write something and show them. You will never buy a house unless you stop getting mani-pedis every week. You will never lose weight while you have a Mars Bar in your hand. And you will never be handed a gallery exhibition unless you draw something and wave it around in front people.

I love Rachel Zoe’s tips for wearing long skirts & dresses!

Fashion Tips To Get You Laid via Ms Fitz.

A Paris Farewell.

I’ve always been one of those girls. A die-hard Francophile. An American helpless in the face of Parisian charms and pleasures. A New Yorker who could never seem to shake the City of Light. I went for a college semester, I went with boyfriends, I went to eat chocolate. And finally, for a two-year period beginning in 2009, I went to live my dream.

Wow! How weird! 60 Completely Unusable Stock Photos!

International playgirls, take note: here’s the updated airline baggage fees chart.

I am SO EXCITED about Selling Your Soul in May! I just RSVP’d & I can hardly wait! It’s going to be an all-day, soul-powered, rollicking romp hosted by Danielle LaPorte (y’all know her, WhiteHotTruth maven, & creator of The Fire Starter Sessions!), & Marie Forleo (with whom I am not quite as well acquainted — but anyone who works with Sir Richard Branson is okay by me!). Selling Your Soul comes highly recommended to all writers, artists, geniuses, mavericks, renaissance women & entrepreneurs… I am so psyched!

Blogging ‘Bout My Generation …scares me.

Self Love to Manifest the True Love of Your Dreams by Christine Gutierrez of Sacred Space!

Is kink the new girl-on-girl kiss? Rihanna is the latest in a line of pop stars using S/M as an edgy symbol of empowerment. Too bad it doesn’t shock…

Dear everyone in the entire universe, please read this: My month of no snark.

Already, I was starting to feel a little Hallmarky. It’s just so much cooler to be more sarcastic and less earnest. But what does that even mean, really? A certain meta-remove is popular now, but isn’t it possible that’s just a cultural phase? Irony can’t be in forever. I hope not, anyway, because however funny it might be, it implies a certain solipsism. It says, I am so above this scene — above other people, even — that I can simply comment on what I see unfolding before me. That may be a good way to get laughs — but it’s a dull way to live.

But here’s the thing. Without the ability to vent, I had only two options: to let something relatively stupid eat away at me — or to just let it go. So I tried that. What did it matter if a stranger thought my marriage was challenged because of my first name? Giving his weird, offhand theory any stock would be as productive as stepping on a crack in the sidewalk and worrying it would hurt my mom. So I decided there was something to the old preteen-teen mantra: Whatever. Surprisingly, it worked. If I couldn’t bitch about the exchange, I stopped thinking about it.

Let’s never become Mr & Mrs Zombie Hell.

Are you left or right brained? This FREAKS me out! How could you ever see it going in the other direction?! (I see it going clockwise, for the record…)

This is CRAZY! It’s War of the Roses, Kiwi-style

Aged in their late 60s, Margaret Russell and Morris Leathart haven’t spoken in two years, despite sharing a home, raising chooks, gardening and eating dinner together. In the latest episode, Margaret faced court on Wednesday charged with stabbing Morris with shards of glass from a broken lolly jar. She admitted grabbing the peppermint jar in a moment of anger, but said she’d never meant to cause the deep gashes to his arms, suffered in the attack a year ago. “I only wanted him to shut up and go to sleep,” she told the New Plymouth District Court jury charged with hearing the case.

DAMN, I wish I knew about this ahead of time! Dapper Day at Disneyland. Let’s go next time!

A Suggestion To Delight & Excite: Controversial Nail Tips from (who else?!) Zoë Foster. I mean, I have seen this before, but no one has ever made it look so appealing. Of course, now I want to dooooo this! Maybe turquoise nails with silver tips?! OOH LA LA!

Oh my god, I need Mickey Mouse pasties. & Hello Kitty bow pasties. & studded Minnie Mouse ears. !@#$%^&*&^%!!!

Nubby wrote up our Iceland trip with lots of photos! (Seriously, her art-directing our lunch made me want to MURDER HER! Hahah!!!)

New Zealand’s Bizarre New Air Safety Video featuring RICHARD SIMMONS! Wow! Thanks, Jillian!

This lust snow globe is pretty cool. Love to Tamsin for sending it through!

Betsey Johnson is having a sample sale… Don’t miss out!