Category Archives: beauty

Boobies: Questions And Answers And — Bonus Round — Stronger Orgasms!


First of all, I wanted to say a huge thank you for the tremendous outpouring of support, encouragement and excitement when I shared about my boob job last week! I can’t lie: I was anxious about posting it, primarily because I didn’t want anyone to think they were less than beautiful because they haven’t had their boobs done too. But you are a smart and wonderfully open-minded bunch of babes. The response was overwhelmingly positive, and I really appreciate that. Thanks, yo!

It has opened up a really interesting discussion too. Some people believe radical self love means that you should absolutely, categorically, not have cosmetic surgery — and that if you truly love yourself, you’d never change anything — and others can zoom out and see my larger view, which is that radical self love is making the right decision for you, no matter what other people think about it. I believe in the right to do whatever you want with your body, and to live for yourself. Not everyone agrees, and that’s okay. That’s part of what makes life interesting.

I received a fair amount of questions too, which I’ll address below. One of the reasons I wanted to write about my experience was to demystify it: I believe that sharing information helps everyone, no matter whether you’re considering a procedure or not.

…And then we can stop talking about boobs for a while, because honestly, this is not that important. Here we go!

Q. Who was your doctor?
A. I went to Dr Shafer and he is so nice, thoughtful and calm. He has an excellent track record and is one of the best surgeons in the city. (Check out his reviews.) He’s also a total germophobe which made this Virgo very happy! Hahah!

Q. Will you have any scars?
A. The incisions were made underneath my breasts, and they look like light cat scratches. It’s really nowhere near as gory as I thought it would be (I’m quite squeamish so having to “tend to” horrifying-looking incisions was a fear of mine). I’ve been covering the incisions with breathable medical tape, just so they don’t get rubbed by my clothing, and applying a scar gel twice daily. My surgeon is happy with how they’re progressing and said if they don’t completely disappear within a year, we can treat it with a laser.

Q. How do you reconcile loving yourself with body modification? Where’s the line between self-acceptance and self-improvement?
A. I believe self-acceptance and self-improvement can exist in parallel. I don’t go to the gym because I hate my body, I go because I love how I look, and I want to continue to make improvements: get stronger, have more stamina, look better. It’s possible to accept and appreciate the way something is and still want to refine it. This is true of everything, from old houses to businesses to interpersonal relationships and our own appearance.

Q. I don’t get it. This is not radical self love. How can you call yourself a feminist and modify your body?
A. Go back and read the original post. If that doesn’t shed some light on the situation, nothing will. I have explained my motives and beliefs to the best of my ability, and I reserve the right to not have to explain every single thing I do in minute detail. We never have the right to demand answers as to why someone made a decision, because it is genuinely none of our business!

To the few of you who have taken my decision personally, said this is not a “feminist choice” or that it calls my sense of radical self love into question, good luck to you! It’s my body and it’s my choice. I don’t believe in telling other women what they should or should not do with their bodies — I don’t have the time or the interest. You don’t have to agree with me, and in fact, it makes no difference to me whether you do or not. Go and complain to someone else, because you’ll get no traction here.

As for feminism, I believe the most important thing we can do is treat others with respect, avoid body policing or shame, stay informed, affect change, and be an ally. Wringing your hands about someone else’s cosmetic choices is the most unbelievable waste of time. #firstworldproblems to the extreme. Go and do something useful instead — I am. And let us never speak of this tomfoolery again!

Q. Do you feel the implants when you move?
A. Nope. Not yet, at least, because they don’t move much at this point! The first few days it just felt like there was something resting on my chest, and while they still feel a bit “foreign”, it’s really not that strange. I’ve adapted to them quickly. I’ve also been pleasantly surprised to find that I don’t find them heavy or weighty at all.

Q. Did you really experience no pain at all? I find that hard to believe.
A. Ask yourself, why would I lie about that? As someone with a considerable platform, I believe it is my responsibility to state the facts, and that it would be negligent if I didn’t. When I say my experience was pain- and complication-free, that is what I mean. I have nothing to gain from claiming otherwise.

I had an extremely positive surgical experience and for that, I am thankful. I think this is due to a combination of factors: I chose the best doctor money could buy (in fact, I paid top dollar, my thinking being that you only get one body, so why not do things properly?), I have a high pain tolerance, I’m physically fit, and I also have an extremely flexible lifestyle which meant I could be the perfect patient. I literally did everything my doctor asked of me and then some. I emailed his surgical coordinator obsessively with questions, because I wanted to do this properly.

As for my recovery, I already had the ideal scenario. I was able to work from bed and take naps whenever I wanted them. I took my pills like clockwork, I ate really well, I moved around as much as my doctor suggested, and my boyfriend took excellent care of me. All of these things contributed to make this a stellar experience. I literally had no bruising and my pain was so minimal that my painkillers went virtually untouched. I took Tylenol Extra Strength for a while, and called it a day. This was a model surgery by all accounts.

I have been very very fortunate. Not everyone has a perfect surgery; in fact, a friend of mine had a near-death experience during her augmentation over 10 years ago. There are risks, of course. You could die during a general anesthetic, for crying out loud. (You could also die crossing the road, so hey.) I was aware of all of this, but — as you may have guessed by my life story — I am not risk-averse, and I am almost absurdly optimistic. Your mileage may vary! If you’re considering surgery, you are an adult and therefore, capable of making your own decisions. Do your research, and weigh it up for yourself.

Q. I want to get surgery too. What do you recommend?
A. A few things.

1. Think carefully about your motivations. Why do you want this surgery and what do you hope will be the outcome? You don’t have to tell anyone your motivations, but it helps to have your intentions clear in your own mind. It’s always good to make decisions from an informed place of power.

2. See lots of doctors. Read their reviews. I think RealSelf is great for that. Pay as much money as you can afford (but please don’t go into debt — save your money first and only spend it when it’s comfortable and not a stretch for you to do so). You only get one body, so don’t get a cosmetic surgery Groupon or some other nonsense! Go to someone reputable with an excellent record.

3. Get your lifestyle in order at least a couple of months before the procedure. I had a few moments during my recovery where I was glad I was so physically fit. If, for example, I didn’t have the pre-existing core strength to sit up, I would have been really screwed, because you can’t use your arms to press up from lying down into a sitting position. Stop smoking, eat good food, meditate as much as you can. You’re putting your body under a lot of strain, so make it easy on yourself.

4. Clear your calendar for the week after. Take some time off work, foist your children on someone else for as long as possible, cancel any meetings or potentially stressful situations. Healing is a serious business, and you will not want to be rushing around, forgetting to take your medication, or lifting any supermarket bags!

Q. What has been the most difficult part of this whole process?
A. Just little things: my movement was limited for the first few weeks, and I’d stretch and think ‘Ouch.’ I went to the grocery store during my second week and halfway home, realised I was carrying way too much weight. (You’re really not supposed to carry anything at all. Thankfully, I didn’t hurt myself, but I could have.) And, interestingly, this sentence from the instructional document I got from my surgeon: “Day of surgery instructions: Take care of no one, and let others tend to you.” I found it challenging just to READ that! I’m not great at asking for help and the idea of being totally reliant on another person made me feel deeply uncomfortable. Thankfully, my boyfriend is amazing and he did everything possible to make me comfortable and happy. What a man.

Q. What has been the best part of getting breast augmentation?
A. Having new boobs is AMAZING! I am so psyched every time I look down or into the mirror! None of my old bras fit so shopping for new lingerie has been really fun, and I noticed I hardly own anything low-cut so I’m on a quest to remedy that. Hahah. Like I said in my original post, I feel more sexy and confident and my posture has improved (and we all know that physiology informs psychology, so it literally makes me happier to sit and stand up straighter). Oh, and… See below.

I’ve noticed that since getting my breasts augmented, my orgasms are much stronger! Like, markedly so. Bonus! I’m not totally sure why this is, but I have a few theories. I’ve been reading a book called Tantric Orgasm For Women which says that orgasm begins in the breasts, and I’m not all the way through the book yet, but I think it’s a really interesting idea. I think it ties into the below too, somehow…

In this study, 84 women completed questionnaires on sexuality and self-esteem before and after breast augmentation surgery. According to the studies author, women experienced every measure of sexuality more strongly, reporting significant increases in arousal, sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, and lubrication. Source: Women Fitness

Plus, here’s a really interesting infographic about how women feel after augmentation. Worth a read.

Now, correlation is not causation and some of this might be chicken or the egg kinda stuff — e.g. do these women feel better now during sex because previously they lacked confidence? — but I think it’s worth considering. I felt great and confident in my body during sex before my augmentation, but I think maybe now that my actual body lines up with what I find attractive in another woman (hi, I’m queer), it enhances my arousal and thus, my orgasm. I don’t know! But it’s really cool, and I am not complaining.

Interesting stuff! Boobies forever!

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming…


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All I Wanted For Christmas Was A Boob Job… So I Got One!


Trigger warning: This article contains many references to body image, weight and body modification, as well as (censored) images of my boobies. If this makes you uncomfortable or brings up negative emotions for you, please don’t torture yourself by reading any further!

I got myself an early Christmas present this year: breast augmentation. I went from a 32B to a 32D (maybe a 32DD once they drop) in the span of an hour, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it is some of the best money I’ve ever spent. I am absolutely delighted with the results.

This has been a big year for me. I got a divorce. I got a book deal. I was single, I dated, I got into a relationship. I’ve been actively reclaiming myself, my life, my body, and my sexuality. It has been miraculous, challenging and overwhelming. It has also been the best year of my life.

Since overcoming my eating disorder ten years ago, my love and appreciation for my body has only grown. I am not ashamed or embarrassed to say that I think my body is beautiful. I don’t just write about radical self love, I live it. I take good care of myself: I eat nutritious food (with joy and no sense of deprivation), I exercise, I barely drink, I don’t smoke. 95% of the time, I feel awesome when I leave the house, and I’m totally comfortable in my skin. I never hated my B cups, and in fact, I never really thought about their size until this summer.

The tipping point was when I decided to stop eating sugar. I was truly addicted to it, and would eat at least one chocolate bar a day. I had read with horror the research that says eating sugar slows collagen production, which means you lose elasticity in your skin and you’ll see the effects of aging faster. My relationship with sugar was deep and psychologically complex: I noticed that when I felt unhappy, I’d go for something sweet, and it would make me feel good for about 20 seconds before I was right back where I started. Quitting sugar made me realise how much I used sugar to stop me from feeling things I didn’t want to feel. Without sugar as a crutch, I was forced to actually feel my feelings, which has been a major growth experience for me. In addition to having more energy, feeling happier and less moody, I lost about ten pounds over the course of a few months. As someone with low body fat anyway — it wavers around 11% — a whole lot of it came out of my boobs, which didn’t have much to give in the first place!

I wasn’t embarrassed about how I looked, but I thought I could look better. I have broad shoulders and I thought a bump up in the boob department might make me look more well-proportioned. Unlike everything else on my body that I have been able to improve via good eating and working out, breasts are — unfortunately — the only thing you can’t enlarge through diet or exercise.

So, this summer I started thinking about getting a boob job. I did a bunch of research on RealSelf — which is like Yelp for cosmetic surgery — and fairly impulsively, made an appointment to see a surgeon for a consultation.

My surgeon was unbelievably nice and the consultation blew me away. I stood in front of a machine where six cameras took simultaneous photos of my chest and torso, and then, on a screen, my doctor showed me what I’d look like with different sized and shaped implants. It was incredible and the results looked really realistic. I was so impressed! It was shocking but wonderful to see what implants would look like on my frame, because even though I’d thought about it a lot, it was very hard for me to visualise what it would actually look like. The consultation removed all doubt.

You can’t go into a surgeon and say “I’d like to be a D cup”, but you can make an approximation. Implants are based on cubic centimetres, and every 150cc will bump you up about one cup size. I took some boobspiration photos with me (!!!), and based on those, my surgeon showed me a bunch of options.


That’s how I looked at the time on the left, as compared with a 320cc round implant, viewed from the front. I thought it looked amazing, but I couldn’t really tell how much bigger it would look in, say, clothing.


When I first saw this, my eyes almost burst out of my head! This looks SO much bigger. This is the same size implant as the one above — 320cc — but viewed from the side it looks much larger, and gives you more context.


This is a 370cc implant, but this time, it’s a teardrop shape. Clearly it’s bigger than the 320cc, but even though the shape of the teardrop versus the round is subtle, the fullness in the bottom of the teardrop implant sticks out from my torso way too much.


Hooooooooooly shit! Again, the front view alone does NOT give you the full story! Here’s another view of the 370cc implant, except this time, you’re getting my view of me looking straight down at them.


This is a 380cc round implant. It’s the same shape as the first image, just bigger. I loved how these looked on my frame, and thought it was pretty much perfect.

These are the only photos I took from the consult, but we went through lots of different options. We discussed the pros and cons of saline vs silicone, as well as low, medium and high profile (essentially how much the implant “sticks out” at the top of the breast). Even though teardrop implants can look more natural, since they’re fuller at the bottom, they didn’t work on my frame. My doctor told me that I’d be constantly hitting them with my arm and it would drive me crazy. He also told me that the most common complaint he got from patients afterwards was that they wished they’d gone bigger.

With all of this in mind, I walked 50 blocks to brunch with three of my best friends, thinking intently the whole way. By the time I had reached Cafe Mogador, I had basically made up my mind that I was going to get it done. A few weeks later, I spoke to one of my astrologer friends about a good date for surgery (haha!), then called the office and booked in for November the 17th. Auspiciously, that date also happened to be RuPaul’s birthday. I thought this was an excellent sign!



My surgery was booked for 8am on a Tuesday. I woke up early that morning, and used an antibacterial cleanser all over my body. I was even instructed to use it to clean out my belly-button with a Q-tip. I wasn’t allowed to wear deodorant, moisturiser, or any make-up. I had been told to wear something that buttoned in the front, so I headed uptown in a car in a green flannel shirt that I’d steamed the wrinkles out of the night before (hello, Virgo), black sweatpants and my blanket coat.

I was amazed to find that I wasn’t nervous or anxious at all about getting the procedure. I showed up to the surgeon’s office early, signed some forms, changed into a paper gown and a robe and sat on an examination chair, messaging my friends on my phone. As the clock edged ever closer to my surgery time, I felt little flutters of nerves — I remember letting out about 3 big deep breaths — but beyond that, the abject fear I was anticipating never surfaced.

My surgeon appeared and we made light conversation while he marked up my breasts. Soon, my nurse came in and invited me into the neighbouring room. It was chilly. Dr Shafer asked me, “What kind of music do you like?”, and when I said, “Hip-hop,” Usher’s Yeah! quickly filled the room!

I climbed onto the table and lay down. My nurse pointed a little heater at me underneath the blanket and covered me up. My anesthesiologist asked what I did for a living, and then we discussed his daughter’s Masters in Poetry and how writers have to hustle if they want to make it work. He told me he was going to give me some Propofol, inserted the IV which hurt for about half a millisecond, and then said, “Soon you’re going to feel a warm sensation up your arm. Now, just so you know, you might have vivid dreams. Maybe you’ll dream about your next book!” I laughed and said, “That’s an awesome intention to set.”

The next thing I remember was my anesthesiologist saying, “Hello. Move over here onto this bed.” I wriggled onto the bed beside me with the help of the nurse and I suppose they wheeled me into the next room, but I don’t recall that. I opened my eyes at some point and my nurse offered me water and Saltines, and told me to rest for an hour. I kind of wanted to sleep but I wasn’t really tired, and I didn’t feel groggy at all (Propofol is the truth!), so I asked for my phone and started texting people.

My nurse asked me where I was at on a pain scale of 1-10, and I said 3.5. She asked if I wanted to take the OxyContin or if I just wanted Tylenol Extra Strength, and I opted for the Tylenol. I wasn’t in much pain at all. Mostly, my chest felt tight and a little achy, but nothing terribly dramatic.

After an hour of observation, my boyfriend arrived to take me home. He made me soup and then fed it to me, which made me laugh so hard. After about an hour, I decided to take some OxyContin. I didn’t really want it — and I didn’t want to be all loopy or out of it — but my nurse had stressed the importance of taking it before I felt pain, and that ache was starting to come back. We split the pill in half and I took it, and then an hour later I took the rest. It didn’t make me feel nuts at all, it just alleviated the pain and made me feel a bit sleepy, which was a relief.

I had moved my projector into the bedroom the night before so I was ready for epic laziness! My boyfriend lifted me into position in bed because I couldn’t really use my arms to maneuver around. They say you’ll need someone to look after you for 24 hours after your surgery, and it’s true. Your movement is pretty limited. We watched Bill Burr stand-up, then Iris, then I Love You, Man, and fell asleep around 11.30pm.


The day after my surgery I took it easy. My boyfriend and I meditated together before he went to work, and I mostly stayed in bed. I took some Valium as a muscle relaxant just to take the edge off, and dozed on and off all day, with a few breaks to walk around my house and keep my circulation up. I ate well, drank plenty of fluids, watched some movies, and just relaxed in general.

The next day, Thursday, I was back to normal life. I was on Periscope at 12.30pm, went for a walk, and was — for all intents and purposes — on track again. Every day, my chest became less tight and I had more range of motion. (Two weeks after surgery, I was able to do body weight exercise, and I returned to my normal exercise routine — using resistance — yesterday.)

The week of the surgery, I met up with one of my best friends. After he’d examined the doctor’s fine handiwork (!!!), we sat down and he asked me what had motivated me to get the surgery.

“Did anyone ever make fun of you or bully you or whatever?” he asked.

“No, no one ever said anything negative about my boobs,” I replied. “And I think that’s one of the really interesting things about my approach to this surgery: I did it totally from a place of self-love, not from a place of self-loathing. I never hated my boobs or felt deficient or ‘less of a woman’ because I was a small B cup. Once I got past my eating disorder years, I’ve loved my body. In fact, I have been in an ongoing love affair with my body ever since I started working out and I saw what my body is really capable of. Even though surgery is expensive and it has its complications, to me it’s really no different to working out, wearing make-up, getting a blow-out, or wearing designer shoes. It’s about transforming to match the vision of myself I have in my head. Why not look the way you really want to look?”


I think it’s a common misconception that people get surgery (or Botox, go to the gym, wear make-up, get tattoos, etc.) because of some deep-seated self-loathing. Sure, some people go under the knife for extreme reasons. Some people will never be satisfied with what they see in the mirror, no matter what changes they make to their external appearance. Surgery gets a bad rap because when it goes bad, it really goes bad, and it’s excitedly splashed all over the tabloids. But there are so many normal, everyday people who have minimal procedures that they’re thrilled with. People get their noises straightened, tummies tucked, breasts enlarged or reduced, and most casual onlookers would never have a clue.

My philosophy is this. If it makes you feel good, and your intentions are clean, do it, but — and it’s a big caveat! — you have to love yourself first! Making a change to your external appearance won’t do anything if you haven’t done the internal work. If you can approach any kind of enhancement from a place of radical self love, you’re much more likely to be pleased with the results. But if you dislike who you are at your core, getting a boob job won’t make you any happier, you’ll simply displace your disappointment. You’ll probably start obsessing about your thighs instead.

“My idea of feminism is self-determination, and it’s very open-ended: every woman has the right to become herself, and do whatever she needs to do.” — Ani DiFranco

I don’t believe body modification and radical self love are mutually exclusive. After all, I get dressed up every day, I have half-sleeve tattoos, and I’m a member of Sephora’s VIB Rouge (hahah). To me, radical self love is about adorning yourself and adoring yourself in any way you see fit. It’s about experimentation and play, turning your body into art. No judgment. Do your thing!

The pressure on women to look and behave a certain way is massive, and we can never please everyone. You’ll always be too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too feminine, too masculine, and the list goes on. You have to live your life for yourself. You have the power to define what is beautiful and desirable in your own mind. I don’t have a “perfect” nose but I love it and have no plans to change it, even though most cosmetic surgeons would probably start there.

A lot of women feel shame around the fact that they want to change their appearance, and that’s bullshit. If you have the means, why not? Some people love to judge women for getting cosmetic surgery, but what someone does with their body is no one else’s business. To me, it’s in the same category as pro-lifers: get the fuck out of here with that shit, and stop assuming you know what is best for other people.




In the end, we went for round, silicone, moderate profile, 375cc implants, inserted under the muscle. I think the size is perfect and even though they’ll look a little different in a few months time when they drop down, I’m really enjoying this stage.

In my opinion — which, let’s face it, is the only one that matters — it looks great. I couldn’t be happier with the result: it has totally surpassed my expectations. I had no bruising and practically zero pain. I feel ecstatic, really sexy and more feminine. I’m able to wear a bunch of dresses that I could never fill out before, that previously sat dejected in my closet! My posture is much better and I feel more confident in a subtle way.


Plus, going bra-shopping the other day was one of the most fun experiences of my life! Oh my god. So good. I can’t wait to shop for bikinis to take to Mexico. Holy shit!


Radical self love is about doing what’s right for you, and making choices from a clear and centered place. It’s not about pleasing others or fearing their reactions. Getting surgery doesn’t make you shallow or superficial, it doesn’t mean you’re not a feminist, it doesn’t mean shit. Just like the decision to get married (or not), have babies (or not), run for president (or not), it’s your life, and you don’t have to justify it to anyone.

I have no shame or regret about what I’ve done — just the opposite, in fact. If you have any questions, ask me on Instagram and I’ll do my best to answer them!

Oh, and I’ll leave you with this.


Love always,

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Your Guide To Perfectly Winged Liner


Oh, how I love winged liner. It’s my standard, my go-to look, and it has been for years. Thankfully, I’ve come a long way since I was 13 and mimicking the Eye of Horus with a dull, blunt pencil!

Did you know that the ancient Egyptians used a mineral called galena to line their eyes? They believed that cosmetics had magical powers, and that you had to line your eyes with kohl in order to move into the afterlife. I’m onboard with this sentiment: who would want to spend an eternity without eyeliner?! Anyway, as you may have noticed, cosmetic technology has made massive strides since then! It has even changed a lot in the last 18 years. (There I go, showing my age!) There’s no excuse to use a worn-down nub of a pencil anymore!

You’ve probably heard about Benefit Cosmetics’ new They’re Real Push-Up Liner. The hype is huge… and with good reason! The liner is a gel formula which hugs your lashes, and it comes with a built-in Accu-Flex tip for super-easy application. I love the matte finish on it, and it’s totally waterproof too, which means your look will last all night. Ooh yes, bad girls unite!

Right now, if you buy your tube of They’re Real Push-Up Liner at Macy’s or, you’ll receive a FREE deluxe sample of They’re Real remover. Hell yes!

I’ve teamed up with Benefit Cosmetics and Macy’s to bring you a few of my tips for getting the perfect winged eye. Listen, learn, and line those babies!


I like to curl my lashes and apply mascara before I whip out my gel liner. Sometimes, your liner will get stuck on an eyelash curler and come off in little chunks, which is the most annoying thing ever. Start with your lashes first, and then move into eyeliner.

One of the trickiest parts of winged eyeliner is getting it to look even. This can require some finessing. Even if you drew identical outer flicks, you might find it looks a bit skew-whiff, and this could be because your eyes aren’t perfectly symmetrical! Don’t worry if this is the case for you, because it is for me too. My eyes are two different shapes, and one of my eyebrows is a couple of centimetres higher than the other! Never fear: with a little skill, no one will ever know (unless you tell millions of people on the internet, of course!).

Start by drawing one angled line, from the corner of your eye upward. Draw one side, then the other, and then sit back and compare. If they’re not dead right, it’s okay — just wipe them off. They’re Real remover is perfect for this purpose: soak a q-tip and dab it away, then start again. The reason to start with the flick is that then you don’t have to mess up the rest of your liner in the process. Meow!

I also like to lean on something sturdy while I do this. You should always do your makeup in natural light, so set up a little mirror in a window and then lean on the sill while you line your eyes. It makes a huge difference!

I will never forget one of my very best friends telling me, when I was about 14 years old, to flick my eyeliner upwards instead of out to the sides. (We didn’t have Youtube beauty gurus back then. You kids don’t know how lucky you are!) Anyway, the reason for doing this is that winged liner is creating an optical illusion. An angle of about 20 degrees will change the shape of your eye, making you look more flirtatious and coquettish. If you simply draw a straight, horizontal line, your eye will just look… wide. You don’t want that. Flick up, babe!

Once your wings are looking wonderful, it’s time to line the rest of your eye. Now, unless you have the steadiest hand in the world, this may end up looking a little irregular. For example, you might have a tendency to go a little heavier on the left than the right, and then when you try to even them out, it just gets worse and worse.

To avoid this scenario, I like to dot or press the tip along my lash line, joining them together slowly. Start with a slim line, and you can build it up slowly. By the way, your liner will look more natural (and professional) if you add a little curve in the middle of your eye. A little arch looks so much better than a straight, flat line — your eyes are not rectangles!

Here are two things to keep in mind. The first is that the angle of the flick should follow the natural curve of your eye. If you press a pen along the arc of your eye, you can easily see the angle your wing should be. If that doesn’t work, an awesome trick is to use a piece of tape as a guide. Yep: just stick it to your face, and trace along the edge with your liner!

I’ve heard so many people say they’re terrified of liquid liner, and that is, quite frankly, silly. It’s only makeup, and if you really make a mess, you can simply take it off and start again! Learning how to create the perfect wing is a little bit of a learning curve, but it is so worth it, because it looks so damn good! And now with Benefit’s They’re Real Push-Up Liner, it helps make lining eyes that much easier!


I’m giving you the chance to practice your liner skills, because I’m giving away a tube of They’re Real Push Up Liner to one lucky reader! (Your crush doesn’t stand a chance.) All you have to do is comment on this post and tell me your best makeup trick. I’ll pick a winner at random next week!

Winged liner for life,

This post was brought to you by Benefit Cosmetics and Macy’s. Holler!

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Burt’s Bees Lip Crayons, aka Something To Smile About!


When I got my teeth straightened a couple of years ago, my whole perspective changed. It felt like a whole new world opened up to me, one I didn’t even realise I had been subconsciously preventing myself from exploring. I stopped covering my mouth with my hand when I smiled or laughed, I started grinning in photographs, and I started to experiment with lipstick and lip stains. Before that, I was strictly a lip balm girl. I guess I didn’t want to draw any more attention to my mouth than I had to.

It’s interesting: when I had my teeth straightened (Invisalign, holler!), I had a few people say to me, “I don’t know why you did that. You’re the queen of radical self love, surely having imperfect teeth is a way you can drive your message home even more thoroughly!”

It’s a complicated one, for sure. I could have kept my crooked smile for years and nothing devastating would have happened. But the way we decorate and present ourselves is inextricably linked to radical self love, and getting my teeth straightened was a gift to myself. We are all in the process of learning how to love ourselves more fully, and I am no exception! I have my insecurities and my flaws, and uneven teeth was one of mine. People ask me about my thoughts on cosmetic surgery sometimes, and my response is always that people should do whatever they think will make them happy, and as long as they’re doing it to please themselves, it’s all good by me. (For more of my thoughts on this subject, read Am I A Hypocrite For Professing Radical Self Love While Wearing 5 Inch Heels?)

Well, that got deep quickly! Back to that whole new world I was talking about: I remember walking into a Sephora, trying on a shocking pink lipstick, and being amazed at how it transformed my face. Since that moment, I have become a lipstick maniac (maybe I’m making up for lost time?!). And while I love vivid colour, sometimes you want to do something a little softer.

It’s a cosmetic mystery: super-saturated shades often have supersonic staying power, while the more natural-looking colours don’t have that same potency. You might find a soft blush or nude that looks lovely… but after ten minutes, it all but disappears. Few things are more frustrating than that, and really, who has time to re-apply their lip colour 100 times a day?

For the last few months, I’ve been on the (fruitless) hunt for a stellar nude lip colour, but just last week, the answer fell into my lap in the form of Burt’s Bees Lip Crayons. I have been using them every day since. They are just that good!


Burt’s Bees Lip Crayons come in six different colours, from light pinks to deep plums, although I have to admit that I’m extremely partial to Hawaiian Smolder (as seen above!). There’s even a (really cool) Lip Shade Finder which tells you the hues that suit you best, based on your colouring. Genius!

I can’t get enough of these glorious Lip Crayons for low-key days. They get my vote because they’re a doddle to apply, the colour lasts and lasts, the finish is matte, and the product itself is loaded with jojoba and kendi oils, as well as shea butter to keep your lips feeling soft and lovely. If that wasn’t enough to excite you, maybe the fact that Lip Crayons are 100% natural with no added flavour or fragrance will tip you over the edge!

There are few things better than a brand new lip product to give you something to smile about.

Love and huge grins,

This post was made possible with the help of Burt’s Bees and Style Coalition.

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Freshening My Hair For (Gulp) Autumn/Winter!


When you get off a long, hot flight from London, the last thing you want to do is make a public appearance. Really, you just want to go home and lie down for what feels like a week. Or at least, that was how I felt when Shauna and I flew back to New York. But I didn’t go home. Instead, I took a cab straight from the airport to Sassoon Salon in midtown.

I hauled my gigantic pink suitcase over the threshold, hung up my bulging tote bag (laden down with a laptop and all my worldly possessions), and took a seat in front of a basin.

Turns out that the best thing after a long flight isn’t simply to go to bed. It’s to tilt your head back over a sink, have your hair lathered and rinsed, and receive an extremely precise yet soothing head and neck massage.

Of course, it then helps to be put into the hands of Martyn Duff, Senior Creative Director and genius. He cut Morrissey’s hair in his kitchen, y’all! I knew that whatever he wanted to do with me would be top-notch.


As soon as he clapped eyes on me, Martyn exclaimed, “You’ve got a great haircut already!” (Sassoon are famous for bobs.) But we decided to make it a little more dramatic, and went for a drastic A-line cut.


I like to think of this as boardroom in the back, badass in the front!

It was so much fun to experience Sassoon Salon and see what they’re about. From what I observed, everyone was super-friendly, relaxed, and not stuffy at all. I think that when you go to a hairdresser, it should feel really comfortable and easy — and this definitely did. Sassoon Salon releases two collections of fresh new hair looks every year, and what they have cooking for AW14 is sick! Isn’t it time to try something different? (I say YES! Life is so much more fun with a new haircut!)

I’m a liiiiiiittle bit in love with Martyn (who works at their 18th Street location), and I can’t wait to see him again! Hallelujah!

Flicking my hair like a shampoo commercial,

This post was made possible with the help of Sassoon Salons and Style Coalition.

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