Changing Your Name
[ 10 October 2007 ]
“A while ago I decided to go by my middle name instead of my first name just because I like it a lot better and I think it fits. Now I know that Gala Darling is probably not your birth name ;) and I was wondering how you managed to go through with the name change. I’m moving to France in a few weeks and of course I am going to introduce myself to everyone with my middle name but back home it probably won’t be as easy. I’m really shy so I don’t know if I can just tell everyone “Oh, by the way, that’s not my name anymore!” How did you do it? & does your family call you Gala? I don’t think my family could ever get used to it!!”
No, Gala Darling is not the name I was born with! I had never really liked my name — it bored me & there were always other people with the same name in my classes at school. I think using the internet so much at such a young age made me aware of the fact that we can be anyone we want to be. So few people use their actual names online, & so I was always using some different kind of alias, from the crass (fuckerina, anyone?) to the bizarre (TheWizard was my first nickname on Microsoft Comic Chat, ack!).
I had decided a couple of years prior to my name change that I really wanted my first name to be Gala. I don’t really remember why, I just knew that it appealed to me & I felt a connection to it (though the connection with Salvador Dali didn’t hurt!). I liked the meaning — festive party, joyful, merrymaking or singer (in Scandinavia). I wasn’t sure about the last name though, nothing was really coming to me, but I had this idea that maybe my name would come to me in a dream if I allowed it to. Sure enough, one day I had a nap & awoke with the phrase “Gala Lumière Darling” in my head. I wrote it down & knew, instantly, that I wanted it to be my identity.
I requested the necessary form, filled it out with much excitement & trepidation, & sent it away (along with a cheque). A couple of weeks later I received my new birth certificate in the mail! I mentioned that I had changed my name in my online journal & my father sent me a text message asking what I had changed it to… so I called my parents to tell them.
I wasn’t sure how they were going to react, but I was immensely relieved when my mother expressed her support (she thinks it’s “fantastic” that I changed my name, & says she wishes she was that confident at my age) while my father thought it was mildly confusing but didn’t really mind one way or the other. Names are such a funny thing, & I was idly concerned that they would be offended or disown me, but it was all for nothing, so I guess that was fortunate!
A few people balked at the news that I was changing my name. One person said they thought Gala was an “ugly” name & that I would “regret it”. (My response was something along the lines of, “Oh, good thing you’re not the one changing your name then, huh?”) One of my ex-boyfriends said I would always be (my old name) to him. Another ex — who I don’t speak to much — said he thought it was “hilarious”. But, you know, people have their opinions & love to spout them off! It’s our choice whether or not to take them on board, & as you can probably guess, I chose not to.
Most of my friends manage to call me Gala. There are occasional slip-ups, but it’s not a big deal. One of my friends apologises profusely whenever she messes it up, which is very cute! My mother almost always call me Gala, & my father has pretty much always called me Darling anyway… so it has all worked out pretty well!
Another way in which I was fortunate was that my name change came through in April 2006. In August that year, a paltry four months later, my boyfriend & I went on a world tour & moved country! When you’re meeting people for the first time, it’s all completely new, so everyone took my name at face value & we went from there.
It’s funny how quickly you adapt to a new name, actually. When I had been in Melbourne for about two weeks, I went to a hairdressing salon & the girl behind the counter seemed to recognise me but thought I was named something else. I assured her I wasn’t who she thought I was, when my boyfriend pointed out that my name used to be what she called me… I apologised & then realised we had attended school together years ago!
In doing all of this, I realised the worth & value of names, & how they shape us as a person. Changing my name really woke me up to how we are in charge of our own destinies, & having a name that was entirely mine made me feel like an intrepid traveller, in a sense. I mean, of course I am my parents’ daughter, but I don’t have their name — or the name they gave me — to hide behind any more. I am me, I stand up for myself, I have my own convictions & goals & for some reason, shaking off the baggage of my old name really crystallised things for me. It’s definitely one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Not to mention, having a name you adore & are proud of makes you feel fabulous.
These days we have the power to be whoever we want, live wherever we want, love whoever we want. I endorse seizing all those opportunities & really living.
Super-love & cupcakes,
Gala 
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awesome Gala (I was wondering if Salvidore Dali had anything to do with it… I’m glad it kind of does! I loooove him)
I really admire people who name themselves, Its a lovely idea, and something I would do if my parents had not been extreemly clever and named me a name I feel fits, even though its not one I’d ever think of on my own. Though its strange, my father changed his name (way before I was born), from the name his parents gave him, so I guess I just always grew up with the thought that it was a perfectly normal and acceptable thing to do!
Its so difficult to name children, I think. You never can tell what they’ll grow up into, so I’m actually a bit surprised more people don’t do it.
But anyway, I’m verbally rambling again. To sum up, I love your name, it fits you like a dream!
I love your name!
Though I am curious as to what your first name used to be…I don’t think anything but Gala could fit you, honestly.
I would change my name, if it weren’t for the fact that I’m named after the vixen cartoon character Jessica Rabbit!
Though, knowing me, I’d get bored of my new name, or change it back because I’m really a Jessica Rabbit at heart ;)
Really interesting article Gala! I love your name, I didn’t figurre you were born with it though, unless your parents had some sort of premonition that their daughter would love eclectic, and bright fashion!
I don’t think I’d change my real name,
Zainab Asadullah
which literally translates to Desert Rose, Lion of God. I think it’s an inredibly poetic name, and really love it- my last name is actually my dad’s first name making my ‘unofficial’ name ‘Zainab Binti Asadullah’ (zainab daughter of asadullah). But eh.
As far as internet alias’ go, I’ve been known as ‘Gasoline Rainbow’ in my preteens and early teens…ack! But now I simply go by the Japanese name, ‘Rozu’ which means Rose. I really love it, and I am considering having it put into my middle name..or insist that my future hubby calls me that!
Cameron — I think people just get used to their names & can’t be bothered. They think, “Oh I’d have to get all my bank accounts/passports etc. changed”, which is true, but is really not as big a fiasco as one might think…
Jessabelle — I LOVE Jessica Rabbit! She was my first cartoon crush!
Zainab — WOW, your name is amazing! That is absolutely incredible. I love names with a lot of meaning, there’s something so powerful about them. Actually, reading your comment gave me tingles. Phew!
I love that you changed your name, Gala, and I think it fits you perfectly. I’ve only ever changed my name from my maiden to my married, but I have had to choose names for my children. With my first two I decided very early on what their names would be (Aurora, after sleeping beauty, and Sebastian, after his grandfather). My last baby was going to be called Eva, but then we found out a month before the baby was due that it was actually a boy. I really struggled for a name, but when I saw him for the first time, I just said, “Hello Alexander”, and that was his name. I later found out that the old man who had lived in our house before us, who had loved children and had died 12 months previous, was also called Alexander. So that was slightly spooky! So now I have Aurora, Sebbie and Xander, but if they decide to change it when they grow up, they’ll have my full support, like they do in all other decisions.
I know your real name from backreading your LJ, and though its not a bad name, the one you have now suits you much better :)
I would never change my name to Opium Poppy Fields…having it tattooed on my wrist is annoying enough (I get sick of answering particular questions about it).
P.S. Instead of “real” I should have said your former name. Oops.
I also changed name when I switched schools and moved towns. As Gala said, this makes it a lot easier because you don’t have to explain yourself to new people! But for the people who knew you as someone else, it is tricky. Some things that helped me:
- Use your new name unofficially for a while before taking the legal plunge. This gives you time to adapt.
- Some friends & family will accept your name change readily. Encourage them to use it around the people who don’t! They will see it catching on and it will gain legitimacy.
- Just saying ‘Hey, is it cool if you call me X? It’s my nickname/middle name, I like it better than Y.’ is usually enough of an explaination for a lot of people.
- Remember changing your name is no more radical that changing your nose or your boobs. You are not crazy!
- At least, not as crazy as the guy who couldn’t afford a personalised plate so changed his name to his car registration number.
I have a friend whose middle name is Giles, which he now goes by. So cool, it changes his whole demeanor.
I always wanted to change my name, Rachael means sheep, which I’m really not. I fancy something like Vivienne, or Virginia, or Lillian.
My half brother changed his name by deedpoll, but that’s because my dad named him Peregrin. So he’s now Rob!
amy — Your children have fantastic names. I have always liked the name Sebastian! Oh, & I like Beauregarde too, hee!
Opium — I don’t have a problem with my old name, but it’s just… not relevant. It’s no big secret or anything, it just has nothing to do with me anymore. It’s like talking about an old relationship or something; I’ve moved past it, what more is there to say? You know?
india — Good tips, darling. & um, your last point? Gosh. That is… strange.
Rachael — You should change it! Vivienne is great but then I suppose I am biased because Ms. Westwood is so fabulous! & I can’t believe someone would change from Peregrin to Rob & not the other way around!
I have two “other” names, all variations on the name Jessica, which is my real name.
My professional (by which I mean film credits/published stories) is just Jess {Surname}, because I prefer the sound of Jess to Jessica.
The name that I am known by mostly is Jeskah/Jeskah Fatale/Jeskah Arson, which of course, is just a bastardization of Jessica, but I like it a lot more.
My last name doesn’t really belong to me, long story… so, my boyfriend and I decided than when we get marry we are going to create our very own last name, some word meanigless for the rest of the world, but meaningfull for us. So we are going to be the first members of the “Henduru Family” or something like that, haha, we dunno yet.
Also, I just switch from my first name, to my middle name, Penelope, but I still using Aurea. It’s hard when someone asks “whats your name?” and then I answer “Aurea, no, I mean Penelope”, whatevers, both are hard to pronounce to Swedes, so I just say “Call me Lola, if you want!” hahaha.
Gala means, in here, FREE.
Wow!!! I wouldn’t change my name (ok maybe I’ll just take off my middle name which I loathe), I like Julieta. Not many people here are called that, so I never get confused with anybody and the nickname department with my name is HUGE!!
Anyways I admire the fact that you had enough courage to change your name into something that suited your identity more. I think that despite the name we have, it is important to show our identity whether is by our personality, looks or names.
Names are a HUGE deal for me, but I like mine. Does that make any sense?
Kisses.
Really cool read there Gala, love the name so diferent. I have been thinking for a while about changing my name to Vikx but my name has a lot of history to it, i was named after Queen Victoria and my middle name Jane has a big painting about a young girl called Lady Jane Grey.i dont really want to loose that history which is conected to my name yet i love Vikx!!!
hugs x
wow, perfect timing!
I was discussing changing my name just last night. I would kind of like to, I don’t really feel all that comfortable with my name at the moment.
But at the same time I can’t think of anything that would be practical – all the names I like are nt really suitable for use once I graduate, (will (hopefully) be a doctor) Also if I changed my name it would no longer fit with my little sisters names and they are a bit too young to understand.
Maybe I will just have to have a sort of semi-proper nickname type thing :)
When I was much younger I always wanted one of those 80/90’s fabulous names that was spelled with the wrong vowels, but I love my name and it’s unique enough that not every third person shares it, but normal enough that people can pronounce it. My full first name is Shauna-marie (no middle name) which I may or may not use professionally. And I love my last name, but hate the idea of not changing it when I get married. I also have a confirmation name, regardless of the fact that I’m not a practicing catholic. Cecilia- the patron saint of music, whose feast day is on my birthday, my (step)great grandfather was named Cecil, and hey, Simon & Garfunkel!
So that’s my little name story. I’m also still insanely curious about your former name, so I guess I’ll be doing a little LJ stalking. :)
There have been a few people in my life who’ve changed their names, so it’s definitely not a foreign concept to me. I’ve toyed with changing the spelling of my name from “Nadia” to “Nadja” which is the Russian spelling, and much prettier. But I’m a little reluctant, because I know people would begin pronouncing it incorrectly – “Nad-JA” rather than “Nah-dya” (the first is so harsh and ugly, the second should roll off the tongue).
And I’ve been meaning to give myself a middle name, because my parents didn’t quite get around to it!
I absolutely adore your name, Gala. I never ever want to know what it used to be!!
i havent exactly changed my name but in the last few years i’ve referred to myself as Charm instead of the full version of my name…
but my last name… i’ve changed that about 4 times and will most likely change it again in a year or so when i get married which will be awesome because my boyfriends surname when put after ‘charm’ is totally cool :)
I notice that alot of people have been changing their names actually, so its not as weird as others may think. My best friend officially goes by what I nick-named her, so that transition was easier for her, and another friend of mine just goes by her first and middle name combined. I think its a really cool way to own your identity.
I was blessed with a name I love. There aren’t too many people with the first name of Chesney! Maybe I’ll go by my first and middle name, since my last name is so boring!
Cruella — That is awesome. Where are you from?
Vikx — You could always just make it another one of your middle names… !
Jenny — Well, you have your entire life to make that decision! You’ll know if you come across something & feel like it’s the right thing to do :>
Shauna — I am always amazed when I watch America’s Next Top Model, there are some insane names on that show! Like Xiomara! Huh?!
Nadia — You should chose a character from one of your favourite books. Or someone you idolise. Make that your middle name. It might as well mean something to you!
Charm — Is his last name ‘Bracelet’? Or ‘Ing’? Or ‘School’?!?!! ;D
Chesney — I love your name, it is fabulous.
Katoo isn’t really my name either, although that’s what everybody (execpt my parents and my bills!) calls me. The fun thing is that Katoo is actually an “official” nickname for my real name, which I find boring because it’s always been one of the top ten names in my province, but I found a way to spell it that was original and fun and much more me.
i don’t think i’d ever change my first name, but i really really want to take my mother’s maiden name as my last name.
i feel so much more attached to my italian heritage, & i feel like it would be a nice way of expressing it.
super interesting! i tried and failed to go by my middle name for a short time in high school. but see, sunshine is my real first name. so going to a new school in a new state i thought i could go by my generic middle name and avoid all the lame jokes for a while. but it was right at that age where kids stop being quite so cruel about such things. (though i did have a teacher who refused to believe that was my real name and ridiculed me in class for trying to assume such a name! jerk!) now i couldn’t imagine going by anything else, though imagining myself a little old lady named sunshine strikes me as really too weird.. yes i still get lame jokes daily.
i’m naming my kid dada.
I’m pretty good with my first name(s), its my last name I have a bit of a problem with. My families real last name is (you geussed it) Lalumiere.. however my grandfather went on a bit if a rampage in his younger years and anglosized it when he signed up for the army. I really DO like the name Light, its so easy to remember and it suits our family, but its not our fault our grandfather decided he’d rather not be a frenchcanadian anymore!
..however I have since met a number of the Lalumieres and have decided I’ll stick with Light ;). I will get a fleur de lis tattoo to celebrate my french canadian background instead. (besides, what do I do if I marry someone with a really rockin last name?)
Lalumiere – I have a fleur de lys tattoo, and a very french last name — Lechat! I got the tattoo for the same reason you will.
My mother changed her last name, and my sister and I took hers (my brother has my dad’s). My SO and I talk about one day taking a whole different last name together. I’ve always loved the idea of a family having one last name, and since I can’t legally take my husband’s here, I think it would be neat.
I guess I’m lucky to have a really cool first name :)
The name Ajda is an old Slovene name, but it’s quite uncommon (I know about three other girls with the same name in my city). It’s very pretty and it actually means buckwheat in Slovene. So for me it’s a very ‘earthy’ name, it fits me well and I would never change it.
I do get some questions about the pronunciation (namely, which syllable is stressed) from foreigners, but I don’t mind them too much.
I have three names: Angelica Beatriz del Carmen. Angelica means little angel, Beatriz means happiness and Carmen means garden, so I’m a little angel that brings happiness to the garden. I really like that. In my family everybody calls me Bea, but for school, friends and just the normal and real life, I’m Angelica. I think my parents had a problem deciding names, ‘cause my brother has four names, but anyways he only use the first one, Rodrigo.
I have a friend whose last name is Darling…my best friend Virginia and I tease him about taking his last name ourselves. Virginia and Vanessa Darling sound like little old ladies in hats!
Hello….I think that using your middle name as your first one can be really easy. After all it was your parents second option :) Through my school years four friends decided to do this and it went well. You just have to keep going with it and everyone will adapt.
I love your name Gala and at first I thought you were named by Dali wife.
First I didn’t like my name very much because it wasn’t very historical but then I decided, hey I can make it historical hehe and I love my middle name Inés, so my parents did a very good job.
By the way, Xiomara is a common name where I come from :)
I’ve always sort of disliked my name, as it’s very, very ordinary, and I just don’t feel like it fits me (others agree, to the extent that I always get called the wrong name because I “don’t look like a XXXXXXX” But would I change it? I don’t know. So far I haven’t because I haven’t come up with the right name to change it to.
I have a great-aunt who was born Earlene and changed her name to Alison. People in the family have mixed opinions about it, and that probably is another reason I haven’t made a move to changing mine. Both sides of my family also were forced to change their last names for various immigration-related reasons, which has made geneaology really difficult.
I also have a friend with a very “ethnic” name who up and decided to change it to “shawn” (not even the real Irish spelling!) — luckily he didn’t do it, but yet ANOTHER thing to make me think long and hard about my name and what it really means and says about me.
That said, I think it’s very cool you changed yours!
My middle name is “Alexandra”, and even though it’s pretty, it doesn’t feel like me. I could NEVER go by that name. Maybe one day when I get married I’ll add another middle name for myself, or combine my last name with my future husband’s. (However, seeing as I’m single right now, that’s still some time away…but definitely something to think about!)
This has been an awesome post with some great discussion. Thanks everyone!
My first names are so boooooring…Sarah Ann. I wish I had a wonderful old lady name like Helen or Enid or Violet. In any case, I’m naming all future pets (don’t want kids) super old-fashioned names.
My last name, on the other hand, is long and Austrian and I LOVE it. No one can spell it or pronounce it, but I don’t care. I’m not changing it when I get married, and I’m actually kinda hoping that my boyfriend will take my name, but it’s okay if he doesn’t as long as I get to keep it.
I didn’t know you changed your name, tough I’ve always think that is a strange but pretty name :P I think it’s awesome; like you said, you take your life in your OWN hands by doing it!
I have a normal name in the hispanic world: Francisca. I don’t have a second name (most people here have two names), but two last ones; one for my dad and one for my mom (here in Chile when a woman marries she doesn’t loose her middle name, so everybody has two last names; I think that loosing it is horrible!!). I don’t really have problems with my name, but it is boring; I know tons of girls named Francisca. The problem is that in my country you can’t change your name “just because”; only if it’s really stupid, ofensive, or for legal problems. If I could change my name I would like to have a italian one; I know it’s un-original, but Francesca is so beautiful! Both of my great-grand-mothers were italian, so I would love to honor such origins :)
My boyfriend, on the other hand, has the weirdest name: Rade (his last name is even weirdest). His family is from Croatia, and all his brothers have croatian names like him. I think he’s really lucky to have a rare name, it’s awesome xD (he always have to spell his name to new people, tough…)
Thanks for the interesting post Gala. I had been wondering how you went about changing your name. And I think you picked a brilliant one.
I had the same feeling about my birth name ‘Jennifer’, i always picture this brown haired picture perfect girl when I picture that name which is completely not me, and growing up i always watched the ‘Jem and the Holograms’ cartoon and identified with it throughout my wild-life and I used it throughout all my internet histories too, i find it funny that you used to use Microsoft Comic Chat I loved that for some reason.. it’s gone from Jenni4Ross to Jemni4Ross to Jemnifur to Jem and now my band name Jemibook but it feels much better to have M’s in my name than N’s .. strange..
I, too went through a period of hating my name. I thought it was ugly & wierd, it didn’t flow well with the rest of my name, and I didn’t like that it came from the bible. Now, I’m glad I have a unique name! I’ve only met 2 women my age with the name Ruth (and all of us hate it when people tell us that Ruth is their grandma’s name!). I’m glad I didn’t get stuck with a name 10 people in every class had, like Sarah or Amy. (No offense to any Sarahs or Amys…)
The things I wanted to change it to seem so silly now- Rose or Ivy, WTF? I was a little too into V.C. Andrews at the time.
I do kind of want to change my middle name when and if I get married. I will probably take my husband’s last name, and I want to change my middle name to my last name. My mom doesn’t want me to though, because my middle name is a family name.
I would never have the confidence to change my name. My name is Elizabeth, it’s very simple, traditional, and I’m sure there’s millions of Elizabeths in the world. But that’s ok, and I like my name. My parents had a strong background behind my name, so I feel it has a lot of personal meaning for me and my family. And I feel like it suits me, even if it’s not the most extravagant, unique name there was.
But as for you, I could never imagine you as anything but Gala. It fits perfectly. I guess as long as we like our names, then it’s all good.
I always used to hate my name – there were three other Graces in my year in primary, intermediate AND high school! so annoying.
my mother was going to call me Bonnie, which i wish more than anything that she had. I think it suits me so much more~!
also was tempted to backread the lj. ;> i like gala FAR better though.
i can’t really decide on a name i’d use. jessica (realname) doesn’t really seem like me, so i’d probably go for Martini….because…i don’t know, haha. it just feels right.
Grace – I think Grace is a beautiful name :)
Personally, I don’t think that I’d do any major remodeling with my name. There are a few other Emilys my age, but thank goodness I didn’t get a Kate/Katie/Kaitlyn variation. I was actually named after one of my great-great?-aunts, Emilia, went by Emily(Austrian). I never quite fancied my middle name because it’s one of those x-son names, but it’s my Granny’s maiden name. And I really, really do like my last name! Except for when people misspell it. Douglas comes from the Scots gaelic word for “dark/black waters”. :)
Some other names I absolutely love, though, are Sophie, Lillemar, Alasdair, Aki, Grace, George … so many.
I have several names since I’m Chinese-American. I feel like they each represent a part of me but none of them encapsulates me completely. Which is okay with me! They’re all fun in their own way!
The two characters in my Chinese name mean construction and rock, respectively. It’s super-manly but I kind of like it, since I dress so daintily most of the time. And my dad’s name means cliff-face and is written with the character mountain on top of the character for rock, so in a way, it’s like the mountain has been taken off of my back.
However, I was almost named Cheng Chen Ying Zi, which is a Japanese style Chinese name. It has both my mother’s family name and my father’s and means Tiger Child. My grandfather wasn’t comfortable with this idea, after having fought the Japanese in WWII.
My Chinese nickname is means Beans, because my toes looked like beans when I was a baby, all wrapped up like a burrito in swaddling cloths. From Beans, I got my English name Dorothy. The nickname for Dorothy is Dot and since dots and beans are both small round objects, I got Dorothy when I was four years old.
i thought Gala Darling was your ‘real’ name _
Am i allowed to know what your old name used to be?I’m such a nosy beak.
Gala is a really lovely name
What a fascinating read, comments included! Wow!
Firstly, Gala, I’m impressed that your changed your name ‘officially’! I thought you’d just changed it informally. I think if people want to change their names, then just go for it. I know people in my parents’ generation who wish they had kept their maiden names or were called by their middle names – I say, just do it! No one should have to be called by a name they don’t like. I’ll correct people if they pronounce my name incorrectly, and there are people who won’t answer to an abbreviation, eg “Elizabeth” refusing to be “Lizzie”.
I really like my name – it suits me and it’s unusual. I have never for a second considered changing it. (Although I do have some internet aliases.) Partly it’s that two-degrees-of-separation thing we have in NZ, where I want to keep my identity all my life, not change it and disappear from the “oh yeah, I used to work with your sister” network. Also my husband’s family name is dime-a-dozen, and ends with ‘-son’, which I think is for boys only (wink), AND I would have to share the same title (Mrs [ . . ] ) with my MIL! Um, no thanks.
Before our first child was born, we agreed that daughters would have my surname and sons would have his. Of course I had all boys. So I seem more conventional than I am! (Sigh.)
Joleeeeen – Yeah, I was dying to know Gala’s old name, too. But like Gala’s said, it’s nothing special and it has nothing to do with who she is now. But have fun hunting it down, anyways! :D
Anyways, Gala, this is a great article, as usual. But I don’t think I’ll ever change my name for the same reason you decided to change yours – my name totally represents me in every way I want it to. Well, my middle name is a bit off…apparently, “Bianca” means “white”, which I’m not. But it’s okay, the name has sentimental value!
And I’m never changing my last name, I’m in love with it way too much. I read somewhere that the new thing when it comes to changing your last name after marriage is for the husband to change their name to their wife’s last name, or for both people to change their last names. Mr. Darling, I love it! :D
One of my friends that I had known since I was about 5 decided to return to her first name Chantal instead of using her middle name Daisy when she went to secondary school.
It was easy for everyone at her new school, but to me she was still Daisy. It’s definitely hard for me to get used to, but after about 6 months to a year I was completely used to it and now the idea of calling her Daisy is very odd. Daisy was a completely different person!
I am named after my maternal grandmother who took her own life when my mother was only 9. Her memory and my heritage is very important both me and my mother.
I do like it when people call me ‘Anna Rose’ (my first and middle names) instead of just plain ‘Anna’ That’s enough of a change for me! :)
I’ve always liked my first name, or felt it suited me at least, and although my middle name, Jane, is totally boring for my whole life my family/old friends nickname has been AJ, so I would never change it! AJ suits one side of me, just as Annabel suits another. I can’t think of another J name I love — although I suppose I could just have an initial!
I always hated my surname, so even though I felt a bit weird about it (being quite a feminist, I’m not that into the whole ‘mans name wins’ thing) I changed my surname to my husband’s when we got married a few months ago. I probably wouldn’t have changed it if he hadn’t had a capital A in his surname — but I really like the way two big As look!!!
Also he moved to the other side of the world to marry me, away from all his family, and it felt like changing my name would help him feel more at home here, like he wasn’t away from his whole family, he’d just started a new branch of his family in New Zealand. And it makes me feel like I’ve started my own family too, even though we don’t have kids yet. It’s old-fashioned but nice to symbolise a new phase of life with a new name. I’m surprised at how meaningful it felt. I admit that sometimes I do feel anonymous because of it though (just like what Nadine said above, with the 2-degrees-of-separation), which is sometimes good and sometimes not so good.
I’m not a Mrs though, and never will be! I feel very strongly about that. Always a Ms, for me!
BTW, your not-so-new name is fantastic. Especially ‘Darling’, you must feel special and loved every time some stranger calls you by your full name! (For a while when I was young I wanted my last name to be ‘French’. I have no idea why, I’ve never even been to France! Maybe it was something to do with French & Saunders, who knows?)
I meant to say earlier, the presence of an ex-wife is also a big factor in deciding whether or not to change your name when you get married! My husband’s ex-wife went back to her previous name around the same time he and I got engaged… if she hadn’t, there’s no way I would’ve changed my name! It would be too weird, if there were two of us!
Apologies for long multi-comments. I’ve been fascinated by name-changing ever since I was deciding whether to change mine or not!
OOH! Gala I didn’t know you had officially changed your name, that’s wonderful!!
I hated my name for the longest time, but I actually love it now.
My last name is Gentle and I think it pretty much reflects who I am now and who I want to be in the future. It’s rad.
Awesome discussion.
I’m quite keen on idea of naming yourself. I think it’s perfectly appropriate to shed one name for another as our identities shift and expand. And I love finding out how people feel about their names, the names they love, the names they hate, spelling, pronunciation, inspiration, all of it.
I’ve been kicking around the idea of appropriating a particular traditionally male first name. I’m pretty femme, but there’s a certain image and character I associate with this name that rings true for me. Plus, it just plain sounds nice! I’m test-driving it here and there.
My given name—well, at the very least, it’s not terribly common among women my age. I’ve just never really felt it fits, and the nicknames people derive are no good. “Les” is a middle-aged car salesman with a mustache, not me!
Oh wow! I’ve always wondered if that was the name you were born with, and finally, someone had the courage to ask you! Kudos to them!
I love the fact that people have so much courage to change their name. But I often wonder, do you ever feel like you’ll grow out of your name?
Hmm… in that sense, I guess changing your name is like getting a tattoo! You have to make sure you really love it since you’ll live with it, and if you don’t like it anymore, you can get rid of it (but it’s painful!).
;3
Woah. I’m glad to hear the story. I think I assumed it was your given name (and calling one’s kids Gala was some kind of Australian thing :)) from the time you changed the iCing slogan and said ‘Who’s using a false name? Not me’ until you were writing an article in response to a question from a kid who was nervous about moving, and you mentioned the advantage of moving having changed your name (I don’t read iCing nearly as obsessively as that sounds, I just have that kind of memory – I don’t know where I left my handbag!). Gala Darling is a great name to change to. Have you thought about what you might call your kids if you have any?
One of my friends dislikes her first name, plus it’s the same name as two other girls we’re friends with have, so nearly a year ago she decided she wanted to be called by a nickname, a common noun, which is just one letter away from her name. I found it really tough at first, because her name, to me, was her, like a shorthand for her whole personality, and whether it was ‘nice’ or ‘cool’ wasn’t really an issue for me, it was just…her (I feel the same about my own name), and the new name was…new. The way it’s worked out by now is that we have a compromise: I accidentally mistyped her name once and the resulting spelling she feels is ‘much nicer’, plus it’s pronounced the same way so my mind doesn’t explode, so when I’m emailing or writing to just her, I use it, and when I’m talking to the whole group including her, or referring to her and having to differentiate, I use the nickname, and when I’m tired or pissed off, I use her name :) but it’s not that bad because it’s still how she introduces herself and everything, just not what she asks her friends to call her.
I don’t think I’d ever change my name (it’s not Roo, by the way!!). I think it does its job really well, says who I am and whom and where I come from. I like what my first name means a lot (‘friend’) and I’ve never been able to evaluate the ‘prettiness’ or sound, because it’s MY name. Plus I’d have the emotional confusion I had with my friend wanting us to call her something different, times one billion, if I actually officially changed my OWN name O.O. I think I might feel cut off, and like I was sorting floating loose, rather than being connected to the people I want to be connected to.
But if it makes other people feel happy and free, I hope they feel they can do so!
As long as if I know them, they give me time to adjust :).
so Gala, what is your real name?
Gala I seriously LOVE you for this. I think you have an awesome name and its true about everything you said.
My real name is Emily and will have to remain that until I’m old enough to change it. I remember I sat for awhile thinking of names and Jessica came up and I passed it by because its just as common as Emily, but for some reason it stuck in my head. I tried it out and it felt to long..to girly to fit me. And so came the idea of JJ. Which I absolutly love. Then a few months later I met a boy called Louis Delany, fell in love with his last name and officially [in my head] re-named myself JJ Delany. I think its a beautiful name and fits me perfectly. All my new friends I meet and most of my old call me JJ now. And I simply cannot wait to change it.
As much as I love my mum, in my heart I simply feel that she gave me the wrong name. And I just hope she doesnt take it badly when I change it!
xx Jay
Wow, everyone’s comments are so interesting!
sunshine — That’s a fantastic name! I can totally picture you as a cute little old lady. The idea of a little old woman called Sunshine really turns my crank, I love that!
Ajda — Your name is lovely, too. Is it pronounced Aaaaaajda?
Angelica — Another beautiful name! That’s really fabulous.
vanessa — Oops! Goes to show what I know, haha!
Sarah — I love the name Violet! & Edith. Hee. So cute.
fran — It’s so cool that women don’t lose their names when they get married! I have always thought that was kind of a silly tradition. Since when did women belong to their husbands, anyway?!
Ruth — My boyfriend’s entire family was named from the Bible ;D
grace lightening — Are you kidding me? I LOVE your name! It’s the best ever! Bonnie doesn’t suit you as much as Lo, though, haha!
Dorothy — WOW that is SO interesting!! Thank you for sharing all of that. Ahhh, I love hearing the story behind people’s names! I love that you got Dot from Beans, haha!
Nadine — No, I went for the whole she-bang :> The one thing I don’t understand is when women get divorced & keep their ex-husband’s name. Doesn’t that make you feel a bit depressed/resentful every time you use it? I guess after a while it’s just your identity & you don’t think about it, but the thought of being bound to someone you don’t even get along with really doesn’t work for me…
Valerie — Someone referred to my boyfriend as Mr Darling the other day, I thought it was hilarious! Him, not so much ;D
Annabel — I love your thoughts on names, especially since you’ve actually spent a lot of time thinking about it. & I do love my name, people always tell me how beautiful it is, hee! Which is much better than having someone stumble over the pronounciation of my last name EVERY TIME. Ugh!
Leslie — Yes yes yes! Changing my name really marked the beginning of a new passage of my life. Gala is completely different to who I used to be, in just about every way imaginable. The people who used to know me… don’t really know me anymore. It’s pretty amazing.
Retro.Bunny — I don’t think I’ll grow out of it. It’s not like I named myself Fluffy Wuffykins ;D !
Roo — I really don’t think about children a lot, hee! But I would want them to have my last name. I would never ever ever change my name through marriage. I am me & I have my own identity & I don’t have to swap names to signify that I love someone… But as for actual names for children, I really have no idea. I would probably name them after people I admired. Edith, Diana, maybe Violet ;D
Megan — I know my family enough to know that even if they were still alive, it’s not something that would bother them. I am still bound to them, regardless of what my name is. I know that in a lot of countries, that whole lineage/ancestry thing is Big. In New Zealand, it’s not. I am totally happy with my decision, it is one I will never regret.
What a fantastic story!
I was born ‘Bree-Anne’ but when I was older I insisted on ‘Bree’ which is easier for people to grasp. But since about 4 years ago, I’ve been called ‘Pants’ by almost everyone I know and friends actually introduce me as Pants!
My good friend in Melbourne started calling me Girlypants as an affectionate nickname as I often wore very unique and different pairs of trousers – the name just stuck!
Even my husband calls me Pants!
P
x
Aw this is such a great post. Everyone is so creative! It would be exciting to break free and leave your past behind and just be known as you, here and now, and a name change would be a step towards that… does that make sense? Just like moving someplace new and starting afresh from the moment you are in – I know you’ve done this and so have I (melbourne to perth), I love it!
I really love my name though, Iris, she’s the Goddess of the Rainbow in greek mythology, a gorgeous purple springtime flower, and that saddd song everyone seems to love by the Goo Goo Dolls. Its cute, its individual, its pretty, and its uncommon but not too weird. I like that. My sisters name is Erika, after a little japanese girl my parents met on their travels. So cute!
Your name is just precious. It makes you seem larger than life, like an icon or a fairytale or a celebrity. Suits you to a T – and your style aesthetic, to look like a walking birthday party! Gala Darling is timeless, ageless, and very memorable
Megan — sometimes people change their name BECAUSE they want to put themselves as far as possible from their family history…
I’m fine with Amber. I never used to like it – eighties-cheerleader-stripper name associations, but now I love it. The only thing is, I can’t ever imagine being 80 with this name, or even 40. It’s rather young.
Interesting article and interesting comments :D
I’ve always thought about changing my name , it doesn’t really seem to fit… Diana I actually like, and it’s the name of someone I admire deeply, but it has never felt right for me, and my middle name, don’t even get me started on it . Maybe I’ll try changing it to some other name informally for some time before knowing if it feels right and I’ll never get tired of it, but it’s still some time before I can change it officially
pd; I never thought that you had other name that wasn’t Gala Darling, it just feels so right!!
im ok with my first name. but my middle and last name will go when i get married. although if i marry my current partner i will be named after a cheesecake maker, so i dont really know what to do there :|
Megan — The short answer is that I don’t intend on inconveniencing myself just because one of my (dead) ancestors might have a problem with it. That’s pretty much it!
i can totally relate to the person who wrote in to you. i much prefer my middle name. my lovely husband and most of my immediate family including my little niece, AND some of my bestest friends call me by my middle name. i don’t quite have the confidence to ask everyone else (work, extended family, old friends) to call me that too.
when i got married i didn’t change my surname, but one day i will, so maybe when i change it i will change my first name officially too!
i think it’s kind of exciting and liberating to be able to choose your name, but at the end of the day, a name is just a name right? and WHO you are is much more important. so more power to you Gala :)
Amber, I’ve thought a little about that sort of thing, having a somewhat era-specific first name myself. I’d guess that names like Amber, Stephanie, Caitlyn, etc. which seem so young and new and of our generation will eventually be sort of like Susan or Helen or Fran or Edith seem to us now — you can sort of tell what generation someone is from by what sort of name they have (unless of course they have either a very quirky name or one of those seriously timeless ones like Elizabeth, Catherine, Anne, etc). Personally, I think it’s seriously cool, yet another thing names tell us about the people they’re attached to.
Gala, do you remember a while back you/we were talking about your hypothetical son Dahl Darling? ;-D
And I have never actually told you, I love your name . . . except I feel weird about saying ‘hello darling!’ to you. It’s a bit armed-forces (“Wilson!”) or even Blackadder 4 – how do you feel about being called by your last name?
(I once had a student whose surname was Honeybun. And I also once had a very proper ballet teacher called Miss Boocock.)
Nadine — I don’t mind being called darling at all. It’s pretty much all my dad has ever called me ;D & I say “Hello DARLING!” to people allll the time, it’s kind of like secretly inducting them into my family… Hee!
Thank you, darling!
Oh, Nadine, I think the potential for darling/Darling locker room last name fun is half the fun of being Gala Darling!
There are two people with my first name in our office, and I get a secret kick when someone calls out “Yo, Clarke!” — I feel like one of the dudes, or something. But, like, in a good way. It’s complicated.
I had no idea you legally changed your name. Good for you!
I go by ‘tine (short for Christine).
It’s funny, people (mostly my family) who knew me before 1991 call me “Chris.” Which makes me laugh because it’s really not “me” anymore. And people who know me after 1991 call me ‘tine. It represents the benchmark on my linguistic timeline of when I started to discover my own identity apart from my family and school.
Plus it’s sort of an hommage to e.e. cummings with the lack of capital letters and the use of punctuation.
oh wow, i had no idea that you are ACTUALLY called gala darling!! how fantabulous is that! (did i just say fantabulous?)
i think i’m so happy that my name is gilda. i’ve always loved it. my siblings and i all have pretty great names, although being called gala darling now seems way better. :)
My name is Sarah Ann. and yes i agree with the other Sarah Ann, it is so very boring and ordinary..
i have wanted to change my name for absolutly years, but could never decide what i wanted to change it to. i like the letters S and A, so if anyone has any suggestions i would be really greatful. i guess i just haven’t had my “Lumiere Darling” moment yet:-)..
But my last name i do like..it happens to be a famous Australian Allen’s lollie ;-)..don’t ask me where it originated from..
I don’t really like my name (my full one is Miriana; Miri is my nickname ;]).
I think it’s because I was named after my cousin, so I don’t really feel like my name belongs to me, y’know?
Oh, and a couple of years ago, one of my teachers was marking the roll and accidentally called me marijuana! Ahh! As a result, one of my friends called me that for WEEKS; it was terrible!
I think I’ll probably change my name one day, when I think of one that would suit me.
my name is so saturated in tradition it’s hard to drag around. i was named rachael after my grandma and a lot of girls in her family were named rachael before her. marie is my middle name cos it’s my mum’s middle name and my grandma’s middle name and her grandma’s name. and duval is my last name cos yeah that’s me dad’s last name.
i think i have the most boring name in my family. my sister and brother are named chante and devereaux. i get called ray but one of my friends said that the name ray makes him think of a heavily-mustached truck-driver… :/
i have no idea what i’d change my name to tho but i sure am sick of my current one.
oh, people do call me bombs tho cos it’s a shortened version of my myspace name. heh!
My name is Sarah, which I HATED as a teenager because it’s so common, and I am anything but. A friend started calling me Sarahbella as a cute nickname when I was about 18, and it caught on to a point where everyone called me Bella. Bella isn’t really a name I would of chosen for myself, but I loved having such a pretty nickname that other people gave me. I went by Bella for a long time. About two years ago I decided to reclaim Sarah as my first name. Everyone I’ve met since calls me Sarah, but my old friends just can’t do it, and I don’t push it because I like having a group of friends that call me by my old name.
I had plans to legally change it to Sarahbella for a long time and just go by Bella. I’m so glad I didn’t now. Bella is my alter ego party girl, and I think I used to hide behind that. I’m not really that person anymore.
Hmm. I guess so. (explaining pronunciation via Internet is so confusing)
It’s the same as Aida (you know, the opera), just that the stress falls on the the first syllable and not on the second :)
changing names is one of the funnest things in the world to me, and it’s grand that you picked such a whimsical one. Lumiere, ich liebe!
i’ve experimented with changing my name so many times i couldn’t tell you. my real name is Elisabeth Skipp (after the last Kaiserin of Austria and pronounced in an unpronounceable fashion), but until i was eleven i was always “Elisa,” which was boring.
since then i’ve been Skippy, Ivy, Noam, and recently, Rabbit. upon moving to Chi-Town and starting school i stuck on “Ee-lie,”
Eli Skipp, which is unique and professional, people told me i could be famous with a name like that.
somehow Gala Darling seems immensely more conducive to fame than mine!
(P.S. i’m synesthestic, and always subconsciously judge people based on the colors of the letters in their name. yours are so fitting! your name is all iridescent whites, golds and orangey-golds, strong earth wood tones, and bright satin reds! you have ballroom palace colors for a name)
Gala, in response to your comment about former wives keeping their ex-husband’s last name…my parents have been officially divorced for two and a half years, and my mother still uses my dad’s last name all the time. It’s strange, she switches between the two randomly and for no good reason. It annoys me, because frankly, I don’t want her associated with my family (on my dad’s side) but I think she’s just lazy and in denial. :D
This is really inspirational! I love your name, and I think it’s great that it’s really something you can take to so much better than a typical name chosen by someone else! I’ve been thinking about changing my name, too, but every time I think about it, I realize how much I identify with this one, and this article has made me realize that maybe I’m not ready to change it yet.
Thank you!
For a long time I considered changing my name to Anais Evelyn Black. I’ve been thinking on it for about 6 years now and I think I may do it. Gala, you’re an inspiration, love.
I love my name…Sarah with the Middle name Lousie…My parents waited through two boys to be able to call their first little girl by this name and so I would feel like I would insult them if I ever deigned to change it officially…
When out with my friends and a boy approaches that I’m not too keen on I usually go by the alias of Charli so my friends get the hint and cause an escape…I love pretending I am Charli it is fun and different and makes the boys ask twice!! My other alias is Kitty…It came about from a crazy time and it was the first nickname I ever appreciated and it is so endearing when my close friends call me Kitty…Its is even on my number plates…I adopted the persona but I will always Still be little Sarah Louise..
Gala Darling I am super curious for your original name I can’t help it, but I love how individual and in control of your own personality you are…I am still dreaming of what it feels like to be so sure of your own self and identity as you are…btw this is very intrigueing discussion everyone!!!
Hello,
I live in France, it’ll be very easy for this person to use her middle name, all she has to do is, when she fills her visa and social security papers, to ask for the form that states her “prénom usuel” and fill it (some administrations will just do it if you ask them). Then all of her papers wil be under the name she wants.
Cheers,
CarmencitaB
Great article and the comments were an interesting read too:)
My name is Ingvild Marie and I can’t imagine that I will ever want to change it,it’s not a very common name here in Norway (I share it with 102 other girls and women), it’s made up of two parts; Ing- (also known as Frøy), which was the name of a god in the norse mythology (the religion of the vikings)and -vild which means battle/fight/feud in the old norse language. My late father’s name (Gunnar) also means battle/fight/feud and I’ve always felt that we were and are connected through our names:)Marie is my grandmother’s name and it’s a derivation of Maria (or Mary in english).
My mother says that she wanted me to have a strong name to protect me from harm and inspire me to find my own path in life, but still remember where I come from. I think it has worked very well so far:)
haha, this is so odd.
i’ve been having an on going fight with my parents for sometime now about my name.
i’m newly 15 and my name’s urvashi.
however, i was one of the many children given a nickname and birth and i pretty much always go by rushi, rushi krishna.
i absolutely love my last name.
i’ve been rushi my whole life and i can’t really work out why they wont let me change it, there is no one who calls me urvashi except on formal documents and such and i’ve actually started to loath the name.
i don’t really respond to it at all but i’ve been seeing a lot more of it recently as i’ve been doing my o levels and have started a new school.
it’s not like im changing my name to something western (i’m indian btw) i understand that would be very different.
but i’ve been having conversations with them and i think they might let me soon!
i know i wont regret it, i don’t feel like an urvashi. i’m so sure that i’m rushi now. and to me, your name should be something you LOVE and feel comfortable with.
so i guess i’ll just keep hoping.
These comments are so interesting! Man, I don’t check your site for a few days and look what I’m missing. This is the best blog ever. It’s like a community. You’re wonderful, Gala!
My mom decided to keep her husband (my dad)‘s last name because she didn’t want to have a different last name from her children. Also because he’s a great guy and it was amicable. Now she’s married to a new man but he understands. Sometimes she hyphenates the last names. She also changed her middle name to her maiden name and got rid of her given middle name.
When I taught at the Korean school, the kids would come in with their Korean names and I’d get to know them and a few months later they would let me know that they were no longer Ah Min but now Jennifer. My favorite kid, Byung Jae asked me to recommend a good “Canadian name” for him to use and we ended up having a cool discussion. At fifteen, when you’re new and just learning the language, it’s helpful to have a name that can be easily remembered but it’s also so bad that you have to change your name to fit in with your new country. We decided he could adopt the name Jason because then he can still be called Jae, which is part of his Korean name. And later, if he makes any really good friends they could start calling him Byung Jae and it would be an easy transition.
I like my name because I was named after Julie Andrews, who I love. Also, it’s common enough that everyone can spell/pronounce it and uncommon enough that I don’t know loads and loads of other Julies.
xox
Julie
wow! what an easy process you went thru, gala. i needed to change my name due to a crazy ex that stalked and tried killing me. i had to fill out dozens of forms, get finger prints done, get a criminal report, make an appoinment with a judge and explain why i had to change it, & get an announcement in the paper (which i was really upset about since i didn’t want my ex to read it). the whole process took me about 6 months & $700!
guess it all depends on age and where you are living!
hello!
I’ve never met/heard of anyone with the same name as me!(okay apart from Dali’s wife).i LOVE the name Gala and i love the fact its so unique and original! I am ‘officially’ british but was born in slovenia and have lived all over the world in places such as spain,south africa and scotland.
How did you first hear of the name Gala?Have you ever met anyone with the same name?
Gala — Hee, hello name twin! I think I first heard of it because of Mr Dali, but really when I decided I wanted it to be mine, I didn’t think much about her. Dali & Darling are very close, though! I’ve never met anyone else called Gala, either! Kisses!
I love this article Gala! I’m planning on changing my name the second I turn 18, I was born as Chelsea, I didn’t appreciate it at the time but my father named me after the song Chelsea Hotel by Leonard Cohen, the famous poet. The song is about his relationship with another one of my favourite musicians, Janis Joplin. I hate my name but I love that fact, haha. When I was 12, I asked my mom could I change my name and she said no so I went for a different spelling, adding an ‘e’ instead of the ‘a’ at the end :) It was only a small change but it satisfied me. I love your name! It’s so creative, although I am curious as to what your name used to be… oh well, I’m sure you will take it to your grave. Anyways, hugs! Thanks for the article!
It’s been interesting reading this article. Especially as I’ve just literally changed my name to Annie. I didn’t like my old name at all. I changed it after a lot of thinking and soul searching. I like Annie as a name. It’s simpler than my old name and fits me. I’m in a process of change, winding down my life and preparing to move to go to University next year. Why not start as I mean to go on with a new name?
I just wish I could get those around me to be a bit more positive. I’m still in the process of telling them I’ve taken this step. Sad to say, it’s been greeted with negativity so far, or people thinking I’m barmy. One friend inquired if I could change it back. Yeah. As if!
I don’t think I’d ever change my name. But I have the most boring last name ever (Smith), and I have 2 middle names…but my first and second name both originated from the name ‘John’ D:. I’m John John Elizabeth Smith! Ug…