15 June 2008, 10:59
Headmistress Darling here to crack the whip! (Cssshhhhhhhh!)
It has come to my attention that some of us need to be reminded what iCiNG is all about. So let’s go over that, hmm?
Some of you don’t like the direction iCiNG is taking, what I’m wearing, how I stand in photographs, or the subjects I write about. That’s okay. You don’t have to!
It is clear to me that if you think that kvetching about these things is going to cause me to alter my life, how I am or what I do, then you have grossly misunderstood the iCiNG project & me as a person. iCiNG is about creating the life you want, & living it boldly. It is not about trying to keep everyone else happy. You cannot! It is impossible! This goes for you just as it goes for me. If I always did what people told me to do… well, I’d still be working at New Zealand Post, if I had ever made it that far!
Your life is your own, & you can live it any way you want. You can be magnificent, filthy, creative, miserable or excited; you can live in squalor or the lap of luxury; you can devote time to charities or spend hours watching television. The only person who has to be okay with your choices is you. We all have our opinions about the way other people live, but to vocalise them & feel like we have a right to be critical & nasty? To feel like other people owe us an explanation about why they live the way they do? Well, that’s just preposterous! Other people’s lives are none of our business, regardless of who they are — celebrities, internet personalities, artists or shop assistants. We are all entitled to live the way we want to without having to constantly explain ourselves. I would never swing by your website to tell you that I disapprove of your lifestyle & demand an explanation! I expect the same courtesy from you.
If you have genuine concern or interest in my opinions on ethical manufacturing, how many calories I’m consuming or my thoughts on the Tajikistan civil war, you are more than welcome to email me directly & engage me in conversation. Send me a polite, charming email. We’ll talk! But when the comments left on iCiNG become aggressive & unpleasant, when they become an outlet for your own negativity, when they start to negatively impact my feelings about writing here or to lessen the experience of the other people who come here, then it’s time for a shake-up.
I love reading your comments & contributions to the topic at hand. I think they make up a big part of what makes iCiNG so fabulous. But that’s the whole point — they need to be adding something to the conversation. If they don’t, they will be deleted. If you continue to make vexatious comments, you will be banned. The comments are not the place to air your grievances with me, other readers or your boyfriend.
Cory Doctorow of Boing Boing said in an interview recently…
“I’m way more interested in the people who are underserved by Boing Boing than by a couple of spoiled people who feel like the free ice cream is the wrong flavor today, and feel that gives them the right to complain endlessly.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
iCiNG is a community of fabulous, positive, enthusiastic people who embrace life. I love my nonpareils, & I will not let a few sulky kittens block the beautiful view of what is being created here!
I encourage all of you to be the architects of your own dreams, as I am. I am going to continue living a life that pushes my buttons, thrills me, makes me gasp with delight & hold on tight. I’d love to have you along on the ride, but it’s entirely up to you.