Empty Bellies Do Not Beget Genius
[ 1 March 2010 ]
This is a subject I am very, very passionate about. If you were expecting to be coddled on the subject, you’re out of luck. This is tough love, because we need it.
As women, we feel so much pressure to look a particular way. This isn’t news. But what IS news is that I think the wave has broken. People are starting to push back. From Coco Rocha & Doutzen Kroes speaking out publicly about the size of models to Jessica Simpson’s upcoming series The Price Of Beauty (coming to VH1 on March 15th), women in positions of power or influence — & women who are often looked up to as body or beauty ideals — are finding a voice. A voice which says, “ENOUGH!”
As Kathleen Hanna would say, “We’re not gonna prove nothing, nothing, sitting around, watching each other starve”.
What does it mean to starve yourself? What does it mean to go hungry by choice? Does it make you strong? (‘Look how much willpower I have!’) Does it make you different? Does it make you special?
Nope.
A hungry girl is an ineffectual girl. A hungry girl is a girl sapped of energy, strength, life-force. A hungry girl can’t achieve anything, fix anything, come up with a bold, brave solution. Choosing to go hungry is a way of subjugating your own strength, your own power. It is a way of making yourself small & useless. It is asking someone else to take care of you. It is about giving up, giving in.
You know what, though? No one actually wants you to be like this. Any man worth his salt wants a woman who is a worthy adversary, someone who is his equal, strong & proud, someone who will tell him to pipe down when he needs it, & someone who can support him with unwavering personal strength & unconditional love. Women don’t want you to be like this. We want you to love yourself, feel beautiful, achieve AMAZING things & rock the world. We want you to inspire us & show us what you’re made of. We want you to be a rad role model, a beacon of light, a shocking wake-up call.
Anyone who encourages you to go hungry, to buy a size down because “you’ll fit into them one day”, who tells you “you would be beautiful if…”, IS YOUR ENEMY. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was thinking the other day that the women I know & love are so much more motivated, goal-driven & focused than the majority of men I know, & I am so proud of them. They are so frigging brave & determined. They are not all divinely in love with their bodies 100% of the time, but they know their strengths & they do their best. They can see their own beauty & they celebrate it. When we go out together, we taste each others’ meals. We laugh & drink & we don’t talk about diets. & guess what? That food they’re putting into their body is what fuels them to be so creative, brilliant & fabulous.
Empty bellies do not beget genius.
Something horrible like 60% of six year old girls feel “overweight”. THIS IS CRAZY. Where do they get this from? Magazines, television, mothers who talk about how “fat” they feel, who complain about not fitting into their jeans, who serve themselves much smaller portions than the rest of the family. Okay, time to get over it. Time to move on. Scary secret: no one cares what you look like! NO ONE CARES! IT DOESN’T MATTER! Stop wasting your brainpower on something so trivial & stupid. Because it IS stupid, no matter which way you slice it! Do something meaningful with your life! Do something which surprises people, empowers other women, shakes belief systems! Nothing could be less important than worrying about what size clothing you wear!
Being hungry & sad is not sexy. It’s not cool. It’s not dramatic or mysterious. It’s a way of putting your life on hold. It’s procrastination. It’s you not wanting to prove yourself in any real way. It’s you being afraid of growing up & taking risks. It’s you putting off the important stuff.
“I always felt that anorexia was the form of breakdown most readily available to adolescent girls.” — Kate Beckinsale
Eating disorders are not a choice but HOW YOU DEAL WITH THEM IS. You can choose for it to dominate & completely ruin your life, or you can decide to take control, LOVE YOURSELF & live the amazing life which is waiting for you.
I know that’s scary. Trust me, I do. Especially when you feel like your entire life, personality & all your behaviour has been constructed around this ugly thing. If you remove that rotten core, what’s left? Who are you?
You are you, but amplified. You are you, pure & distilled. You are you, but happy. You are you, confident & brave & strong & risk-taking & amazing. You are you, beautiful & incredible with a will of iron. With beliefs you’d die for & integrity & quirks & brilliant insights. You are you, but BETTER. You’re not losing anything — only getting back to who you REALLY are. It’s a re-ignition of your childlike wonder, your fascination, curiousity, acceptance & flawless love.
God, you have no idea how much better life is when your head isn’t full of numbers & a fixation with toothpick thighs. I swear, you can’t even begin to fathom it. The world, & all of us in it, are waiting for you to join us! This is such an incredible, beautiful, wonderful place & you can’t see it when you’re hidden behind a veil of fear & insecurity & nervousness.
You REALLY CAN do ANYTHING YOU WANT, but having an eating disorder is like taking a crowbar to your own kneecaps. It’s debilitating & it shatters your world view. I want you to get on the roller coaster! I want your brain to fire on all cylinders! I want you to do something that makes me feel so proud to say you are someone I know! We all do!
You’ve heard it before, but it’s how you feel on the inside which counts. That is what will really dictate your luck, success & happiness, & I promise you that the way you look on the outside has absolutely nothing to do with the way you feel. How you treat yourself, the amount of exercise you get, what you put into your body — that determines how you feel, definitely. But if you think that starving or vomiting your way to being skinny is actually going to make you happier, you couldn’t be more wrong. All an eating disorder indicates is massive self-disgust & self-hatred on a catastrophic level. Feeling that way can manifest itself a variety of ways, from self-mutilation to drug abuse to bulimia, but regardless of the method, the madness stays the same.
& how do you improve the way you feel inside? ...You guessed it.
I’m going to be writing more about how to love your body all week. Ready to take a little trip down TRULY Radical Self Love Lane? I am… Take my hand. Let’s do it.
P.S. The winner of the Jimmyjane prize pack giveaway was SHANNON, comment #350! Congratulations & thanks to everyone for participating!
RADICAL self-love & stardust,
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the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 10: International Playgirls Unlimited!
Right on, wonderful post Gala! This is the sort of inspirational, supportive writing that made me fall in love with the “blogosphere” in the first place!
Amen! I just read an awesome article about women’s curves having a literally intoxicating affect on men:
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetec…
So let’s be comfortable with our curvy, lovely, soft, BEAUTIFUL parts!
YES. I love this post and totally, totally agree with you!
Great start to the month of March! I really look forward to your week long lecture (?) of Radical Self-Love and Body image.
Oh Gala, this was beautifully put. I think it’s an amazing moment when a woman sets aside her physical insecurities and embraces how powerful and beautiful she is, already. Thank you for the wonderful post.
xo
Just thought I’d let you know today here in Melbourne on the channel 10 news we had a story about how more than half of all Australians are over weight.
They specifically mentioned young females as being a group that were having the biggest problems with packing on the extra kilos. It was a really short story, really targeted toward women.
It was horrible. I’m SO sick of seeing a story on the hideous repercussions of eating disorders one minute and then flipping channels to watch a news reporter target young girls over weight loss.
I wish it would stop. They seem to be intent on ensuring that no matter what shape you have, you must feel bad about it.
ten.com.au/video
I’ve recently been on my very first real diet, and while it’s not extreme and I really chose it to become healthier, not skinnier, it’s made me think very hard about how all this dieting we see and endure serves to literally make women LESS.
How more people don’t see how unhealthy that is to society is beyond me.
Hey Gala,
I am pretty stoked to see you talking about the power about what young women can DO. It is why I read here a lot.
I am hoping that at least one of those articles you have coming up is a fat fashion article – that shiz is blowing up all over the internet, for a really good reason.
Iris — I have no fat fashion articles planned… Seems kinda like telling people how they should dress which is not my style. When I put outfits together or write about style in general, it’s aimed at people of all sizes! My coming articles revolve more around dealing with eating disorders & ways we can learn to love our bodies.
I live in a country where eating disorders are rampant, because nobody talks about them or educates ANYONE about them.
I have coworkers who spend time throwing up in the faculty bathroom after lunch.
The pressure for women (and men) to lose weight in Japan is everywhere.
It’s worse for me because I am a foreign woman. I am big, and people let me know it.
I am not attractive to Japanese men, nor am I attractive to foreign men who live in Japan – something that I have been told more than once in more ways than one.
You don’t have a team of 40+ coworkers plus 700 some students telling you to lose weight. I have students come up to me and rub my stomach and ask me if I’m pregnant, for chrissakes. My coworkers are worse, they use really underhanded ways of letting me know that.. I’m too big for this country. Like making my school lunch portions smaller, giving me the largest desk/chair in the teacher’s office… ordering my sports day shirt a size larger than what I had requested… flat-out asking me how much I weigh.. whether or not I exercise outside of riding my bike, what kind of food I eat at home.. etc. etc. etc.
I’m 5 feet 5 inches tall and I weigh 175 lbs.
It’s different here.
I feel like this stuff is almost too easy for you to say, you’re lean, mean, and a writing machine, girl, who I admire very much. This is a fantastic post… and I wish I could express to you how much it means to me to see posts like this after what I go through every day.
Gala, a big giant huge mega high five for writing this. I love it and plan on sharing it with some of my students.
Hi Gala!
First of all, kudos to you on this post. You’re sending a wonderful message – one that needs to be shouted from rooftops!
I’d like to add to it. Most of the focus on eating disorders tends to be on things like anorexia and bulimia, and there are women out there, women who I’m sure read your column, who deal with the exact opposite. They are overweight, primarily due to compulsive overeating that can be linked to any number of emotional/psychological issues. It’s unhealthy, and a symptom of a much larger problem, and yet it seems like, even in the world of eating disorders, thin girls are given preferential treatment, while if someone’s overweight, they tend to be looked at as lazy and people treat them as if “Well, if you just stopped eating, you wouldn’t be so fat!” Thin women with eating disorders are empathized with and treated with care. Overweight women are told they need willpower, and even those in eating disorder clinics are vastly outnumbered and treated differently.
I’m overweight. Sometimes, I eat a lot and I don’t know why. Sometimes, when I’m upset, I’ll eat to the point of bursting, and I won’t stop even though, in my head, I know it’s not healthy for me and I know I’m not hungry. Sometimes I think I’m trying to hide myself, for some reason – make myself unlovable or untouchable by hiding behind a bigger body…and I’m able to articulate that thought, but I haven’t yet been able to figure out what to do about it.
I love your crusade for radical self-love! I think overweight women need to hear it too. Being big isn’t necessarily healthy, and while it’s wonderful that we can rail against mainstream beauty standards, a lot of women use this as an excuse to not do anything about their eating habits. That can be dangerous, too. I think it’s important to see overeating as being more than just an issue of willpower. Because, just as someone can’t just tell an anorexic “Why don’t you just eat?” or tell a drug addict “Why don’t you just stop taking drugs?”, overweight women (and men) can’t just be told “Just diet and exercise!” Because very often, their eating has to do with more than just enjoying the taste of cake.
Spot on Gala.
I am a small girl, (in my mid 20’s and still have no hips or boobs) and I get a lot of grief about how I am supposedly not a ‘real woman’ because I don’t have curves. This makes me very sad because I eat as much as anyone else, and as much as I would like to, I’m just not meant to be curvy. But that doesn’t make me any less of a woman.
We should all be happy with who we are. But most importantly, be accepting of others for who they are.
Holy crap!
That was amazing!
It’s amazing to see how diverse we all are, even within this teeny sampling of comments. Some of us feel we are too small, some of us feel we are too big, etc., but it is so clear to see that the most important thing is that we love & respect & accept ourselves the way we are…
Thank you so much for this. As a plus-size woman, my struggle with my body has been a long and bumpy one, with alot of self-hatred, unhealthy weight loss, pills that ravaged my body, and a shattered self-esteem. I can proudly say that today, I love myself, although some days more than others, but I love every dimple, every scar, every stretch mark, and every love handle, because I know that there is only one me, and if I don’t love her with all my might, it will be a long, sad life.
Thanks again :)
Oh and I plan on showing this article to my 12 year old daughter. I try to expose her as much as I can to positive messages from women who rock :)
I love this. I’ve always had issues with my size. Always. I even tried eating disorders in my youth, but lacked that “willpower” stuff, which in turn, made me feel worse! It’s such a downward spiral and backwards way of thinking. Then it clicked one day that I wasn’t fat, but thank heavens I was in proportion! Yes I have fluff (I refuse to call it fat), but it makes my boobs not look so ginormous (DD on a size 9 frame? Ugh what a pain! But I love them! Haha). I still have those days when I feel hideous, but I refuse to believe everyone feels perfect about themselves 100% of the time. Imperfections are rad and it’s up to you if they make you stand out in a negative or positive fashion! And if you ask me, negativity takes up more energy than I want to spare. Positive forces are easier to run with and so much more fun!
Thank you for this post. It’s JUST what I needed to read today. It’s awesome and so are you for writing it!
Lead the way.
another flik for you to marinate over:
America The Beautiful – A Film By Darryl Roberts bit.ly/9I3J4z
Hey Gala,
As someone who is “fighting” against an eating disorder I’ve had for nearly fifteen years, this is a really beautiful reminder why its worth it.
I’m currently untangling the mess of negative messages and lack of self-love inside of me… it is difficult, but hating myself is doubly worse and more painful! Xoxo
Love you!!!
It’s one thing to say this to the majority of women suffering from disordered eating (as opposed to deadly eating disorders) and body image issues. Yes, we need to love ourselves. Period. We need to stop thinking that one size is beautiful, etc. etc.
But this approach is over-simplification for those women and girls who suffer from Eating Disorders, capitalized, wherein the root cause is highly likely to be sexual abuse. (There is a very high percentage of correlation according to the Psych community.) In those cases, health or even Survival is dependent upon a multi-faceted approach — not just “tough love.”
I don’t really agree that the way in which one deals with an eating disorder is a choice. Sometimes they are intertwined with deeper psychological and perception disorders and not just magazine covers or peer pressure. There ARE people who can turn things around just by realizing they are beautiful regardless of weight, but there are those who need more than that and sometimes their body gives in before they can do anything about it. It is true that eating disorders affect every aspect of life, from academics to the way you relate to others. The focus should be on being healthy, not skinnier or curvier, because we can’t choose that. I’m also 20 and on the thin side, and there was a point where no matter how much I ate I was still thin; my mom thought I had a problem and once the doctor assured her I was at a healthy weight for my age and height, she believed it. I think on a personal level being called skinny can hurt just as much as being called fat, but it’s often perceived as more of a compliment than an insult because of current societal trends.
Another part to it could be the problem of identity; it’s better to be something than nothing, and at least being anorexic gives you something to be part of (some girls may think this way, and you can see it in all the online communities created to control weight and support each other in obsessively watching what one eats etc.) A girl in my faculty did a study which was really interesting; in it she gathered the introduction posts from these communities in which girls talked a little about themselves. She found a pattern: they all began with their name, age and weight, followed by how they think it all started, the help they’ve tried to receive, the insults and the compliments. She took each of these sections from different introductory posts to make a final one, showing the close link between all these identities as just one person’s. I’m not sure if I explained it very well but it was quite interesting to say the least. I’m finishing first year psych so we haven’t gone into eating disorders in great depth yet but so far that’s what I’ve gathered from it.
That said, I do believe loving yourself is the first step to accomplishing anything and everything you want in life.
I agree with V – I give no thought to calories and eat a normal, healthy amount, but nature has destined me to be a thin, flat-chested girl. I am deeply unhappy that the media, in an effort to curtail their own idolisation of the size zero model, has at times swung too far the other way and started to demonise being skinny.
I wholeheartedly approve of reassuring the larger lady that she is as beautiful as any waif gracing the cover of a magazine, but I object to being told that I’m not a real woman because I don’t have curves, or even being made to feel responsible for the many unhappy young girls in this world who have anorexia.
I can’t help being the small size that I am, and I know that (whatever the media may say) I AM a real woman, but I find it almost impossible to feel good about my curveless body. It is not only the overweight who suffer from social and cultural body ideals – it is the underweight, too.
P.S – thank you for your blog, Gala, it’s a little ray of sunshine in my week
I love this post, it is simply great! I think it can be applied to many more situations than just body perception, but also on relationships and anything. Because everything eventually comes down to self love.
I really love your blog, Gala, and you hve inspired me so much. I found your blog via www.bjooti.net only a few months ago.
I have had such good fortune in my life, but not until now have I actually taken the time to appreciate it. And not only fortune, because we all make our fortunes, so I’ve actually realized that I ned to appreciate ME, myself, for MY actions that led me to this life I am living.
So.
Thanks to me.
Oh Gala, my love for you had been solidified long ago but this post has me brimming with warmth for you! You’ve taken all my thoughts on this subject and shared them so eloquently and with such strength. Often I feel this discussion takes a wrong turn when it becomes too focused on the appearances of it – “real women are curvy” is such a shaming slogan that has been tossed around too frequently and too carelessly lately. You’ve taken it to a whole other level by discussing the real issue – the inside issue. Thank you. (sorry if this comment is lacking in sense – I’m still dusting sleep out of my eyes).
xo
Gee I love you Gala!
This article is excellent, and I plan on sharing it with every one I know, any way possible!
When I broke up with my psychologically abusive fiance over two years ago, I went on what would be called a Radical Self Love journey, and made myself reassess every aspect of my relationship with myself, in particular my body image and how I looked at life. It took a lot of time, and more recently a loving, supportive new man in my life, for me to really feel that I love ME, and everything about me, without worrying what anyone else is saying/thinking.
I wish I’d had someone like you and your Radical Self Love to help me through, and I can only hope that your message, and those of the wonderful, empowered, genius women who read your blog, can help others find, be comfortable with, and even learn to love who they are.
And diet is die with a T! I never liked them, and normally refuse to use the word if it’s in the ‘lets get skinny’ sense! It’s taken me refusing to succumb to diet pressure to finally convince my mum (Who was always hasselled by her mum) that dieting is bad for you, and just to enjoy life, without worrying about what the hells you’re putting in your mouth. (I should say, my mum never said a word about my own weight, and never tried to convince me to diet, it was her own personal battle she felt she had to fight.)
This article is so friggin’ amazing. It is so incredible and powerful and so wonderfully written. And fortunately, I don’t have any eating disorders (I just read this article eating grapes and chocolate) and I feel really sad about people who do. Good luck to you fighting them! <3
What I also found really good was that you didn’t say that you have to be bigger and curvy to be a real woman, as some already mentioned. I have pretty much no boobs at all but when I gain weight, you can immediately see it around my stomach area. And when I see in blogs or magazines how a “real woman” looks like, I think, “So women with small breasts aren’t real?”. And, I mean, every single one of us is real. So thank you for being different than the other writers.
You are so amazing and I mean each and every one of you (and me)!
xoxo
Thank you, Gala. This is a very important issue and it hits close to home for me. I was anorexic from around age 7-9 and I have battled my issues with food all my life. My parents never got me help when I was a child, but I pulled through by myself (miraculously). My mom started pressuring me to be skinny at a young age and yelled at me when I refused to wear a corset and eye glue to kindergarten. I know now not to try to get her approval for the way I look (as hard as that may be) and I accept and love my body. I look forward to your posts this week (even though I always do haha)!
I have an eating disorder. It is not bulemia or anorexia (although sometimes I wish it was). It is compulsive overeating. Without purging. Meaning, my body stands within a mass index that doctors define as “morbidly obese.”
I try to love myself, but I find that the more I try to take care of my problems by seeing psychiatrists and going to groups and getting personal trainers and following diets, there detrimental my efforts at self-sabotage become. Right now, I am just trying to accept that this is the way my body is right now, and try to take small steps towards health.
This is not a post trying to get pity, all I am trying to do is show that starving oneself is not the only form of an eating disorder.
I don’t need a wakeup call. I’m fat, I know I am fat, and when people tell me I am fat and think that they are helping me, they are not. They just make me feel worse about myself, which for a compulsive overeater just leads to more eating. Perhaps on the other side of the coin, people with eating problems that cause them to be too skinny feel the same way.
I don’t think I can put into words how thankful I am to you for writing this. I agree with every word, and feel liberated having someone tell me that.As someone who has gone from morbid obesity to being underweight, I can say that while neither is fulfilling or fun, being underweight was worse. It made me feel physically and mentally very ill, tired and sick.I hope and believe that his post can help so many girls and boys struggling with the way they look.
I had tears in my eyes reading this. Everyone needs to read this. Thank you, as always, Gala :)
Thank you for reminding us (ALL of us) of the beauty we hold. Now it’s our job to make it radiate! :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Gala! I was thinking about how great this post is, how it is going to be a perfect wake-up call for some, and a fierce reinforcement for others. That got me thinking that though some of us have already battled with body image issues, and have some wins, we are all at different points. And we’re all on different paths, so it’s not as if you could tell who is closer/further away, ha! That made me think about how the journey to self love is not linear, but rather could be this crazy, perhaps disjointed at times, strangled, lovely route! And I thought it’d be wonderful, since we all have such amazing unique paths we’re forging, to see a depiction or drawing of everyone’s path. Sort of like a darling treasure map. I thought it’d be a fun exercise, and a perfect addition to our self love bibles! I know it’d warm my heart to see what other people see their paths as. It’d definitely be a deep insight into everyone’s journeys so far, what hurdles they had to pass along the way, significant moments, and what kind of jiggly dance they are doing to get there. :D
I think every sentence you wrote rings true and is so important. I really appreciate how much thought you put into this. Beautiful.
Again, I just love this whole process and I’m so glad we’re all here doing it together. Mwah!
- H. Brooke
Awesome Gala. I love the heading to this article.
I’m a burlesque dancer and I recently danced at a modern art/performance where at the beginning of the night children were present. The mc announced that the burlesque portion of the evening was about to start, what that meant, and that parents could choose to leave or stay. A few families with young girls actually stayed. I was amazed but loved that these parents cared so much about the sexuality of media that these girls were getting, that they decided to let them see what sexuality was like in a different way, in a body positive, empowering way.
Thank you for sharing.
Hi Gala,
This is the greatest post I’ve ever read. I passed it along to all of my girlfriends to let them know that I love them just the way they are. Thank you!!
xoxo
I’ve never been so disgusted by other people than when they make fun of my mother for being a big lady. She was “perfect” when she was 20 and they’re absolutely horrified she put on so much weight. She’s not even that big compared to other people and she’s healthy. Beauty isn’t about what size dress you are. You have to wear yourself.
Hey gala,
I LOVED this post, and as someone who spending much of her time trying to better love her body and up her self esteem, I found it totally inspiring. I’m just wondering if you have any additional words of wisdom for people who read this and think “well it’s easy for her
because she’s already thin and super hot and a genius, but what about someone someone like me?”
WOW. Amazing way to start my week. I have been trying to do this, but the way you wrote out exactly how I feel about this topic is just amazing. You articulated it best when you said “I promise you that the way you look on the outside has absolutely nothing to do with the way you feel.”
Way to go Gala. This is why I read your blog. You deserve all the success that is coming your way- you are changing the world!!!
This is so great! Bulimia made my life, and everyone who was close to me, hell. I deal with people, even my friends, saying it’s the person’s own fault. It takes a long time to get to a better spot, and it still lingers. A therapist once told me that you never truly get through it, but it’s a matter of will power. It took me 4 years.
Telling someone they’re smart is always better than saying that they’re pretty or so skinny.
THANKS! :)
WOW Amazing words… LOVE
This is amazing! My husband & I were just talking the other day (on our way to some southern fried dinner hehe) about women comparing themselves to media. Failing to realize they are airbrushed & most likely miserable. He was saying a man might fall in lust but rarely love.
We must first love ourselves before anyone else can. We will all have ‘those’ days. But as soon as women as a whole can decide changing lives & using our gifts & talents are much more important than boob jobs & being a size 2 then we can truely love ourselves. Yes its a war but put me on the battlefield!!
I really liked this article, I could really feel the passion you put into it while writing it.
And all the comments are great!
Thank you :)
V, I’m with you! I’m 5’3, and 100lbs, and I put away more food than anyone else I know, and I’m serious about that! I’m like Takeru Kobayashi! And I think ALL shapes and sizes of women should embrace who they are! Honestly, if my metabolism allowed it, I’d love to be curvier! But it doesn’t make me any more or less of a woman. And, I think larger women are absolutely gorgeous. Have you seen older nude photographs? Beautiful, big curves, beautiful women! I’m kind of a fan of artsy-nudes, and those ones are always my favorite.
Another thing this post made me think of, was I was training a new worker at my store, and we ended up becoming pretty good friends. We both work in the food industry, and get a lot of catty teenagers from the local rich high school. She turned to me one day and said, “I hate most skinny girls. Watch when I serve them, they come in here and look at me, and treat me like I’m less of a person because I’m fat.” And that right there, made me so angry. No one should ever have to feel like that! She’s one of the most amazing girls I know, and she loves who she is, unlike those teenagers that live off of putting other people down, and making adults feel like they’re lesser because of their size.
Oh Gala, thank you for this reminder. It’s just too easy to fall into the trap of body hate. And it is a trap, especially when you start to see getting skinny as a necessary precondition for getting “pretty”, which of course you NEED for your REAL LIFE to begin. Like, “oh, someday I’ll wear fun clothes (because why waste money on cute stuff when I look like this?) and I’ll finally get the tattoos I want (because I’ll be so excited to show off my skinny arms!) and lounge around in cute lacy things (because I’ll finally feel worthy of them) – and with all that I’ll magically be transformed into this dream girl character in my head, more daring, confident, creative, sexy—”
!@#$%^&@#@#$##$^$%^$!!!
We ALL deserve every last reward we think skinny/hot/whatever will bring, RIGHT NOW, as we are. There is no magic threshold of hotness we have to pass to be an acceptable human being worthy of adventure, beauty and love.
This is your life! This is it! Do it all, right now!
Thanks again for the inspiration. Much love.
Thank you, Gala.
I’ve been bulimic for almost fifteen years. I’m trying so hard to tell myself these things every day, but somehow having you construct it all so powerfully and tactfully really helps. It won’t solve anything magically, but I need all the reinforcement I can get. I’ve shared this with my support community, and I’m certain they’ll all appreciate it, too.
Also, super high five for quoting Kathleen Hanna.
xo
This was so amazing Gala
thank you
ox
Wonderful, inspiring, kick ass post, Gala. Although I’ve had the luck of never having been afflicted with an eating disorder, I often do criticize my thighs, my stomach, my upper arms, my ankles…and I am at a healthy, “normal” weight for my height.
We grow up in a celebrity-driven society, one devoid of praising real talent – brains, good deeds, honesty, integrity, guts – and instead pour over gossip rags and nasty blogs obsessing over a zit here, a stretch mark there until we feel guilty for not having the “willpower” to avoid dessert at the end of a big meal or having spackles of cellulite on our upper thighs.
You hit the nail on the head when you explained that both men and women don’t want us (or our little sisters, daughters, nieces, neighbors) like this. I am ready to let the body image issues go – who’s with me?
My best friend stopped eating when she was like 13, and it ruined our relationship and her life. She developed an eating disorder, anorexia. It was hard… for everyone.
Now… years later. It is amazing to see her eat normally and not too skinny.
But sadly enough, we’re not close friends anymore. And I doubt we’ll ever be. Her self-hatred just destroyed it all… but I don’t blame her.
THANK YOU! You are amazing, as always! Reading this article actually brought tears to my eyes. It also helped me piece together various threads in my mind: this craze for thin, lean women as the epitome of beauty seems to me to be only the next step by a patriarchal society to subjugate women. We threw off our corsets and gained the right to vote, only now to be hobbled by hunger. Of course it’s probably not conscious, but that is how it looks.
I can’t help wondering – perhaps the reason women have been subjugated for so long is that we are powerful. Far more powerful than we realise, mostly. Men (and perhaps women too) feel it and fear it. It’s a common thread in anthropological writings.
I’ve been trying to keep up with radical self-love month as well as juggling my hectic last term as an undergraduate… and I’ve decided to embrace my power. Think what would happen if every woman did just that – wouldn’t the world be a better place for it?
THANK YOU Gala.
Finally someone gets it.
And I also think there’s a definite side of people saying that they go on diets and people who want to eat healthy. That’s my 2010 goal and I think it’s going well because I’m doing it so I learn eat healthy (it’s my goal cause I’m a HORRIBLE picky eater and I wanted to find ways to help me eat better). Like I said, in my last year of high school, half the girls I knew barely at anything at lunch or went to the gym for hours at a time. What did I do?
Ate food I like and just did my sports practices.
It’s sad that some girls think that to get a guy, they need to look just one way. Hell on wheels…that’s not good. I even asked my boyfriend and he said he’d rather have a girl who has some weight on her than be a damned twig (no offense to skinny people! He meant in the way Gala’s talking about aka I-HATE-MY-“FAT”-BODY-NEED-TO-GET-SKINNY).
Anyway thank you Gala! I always love your self love posts!
P.S. Are you going to do a healthy eating post ever? Like how to eat healthy or something?
Dear Gala,
You really are a darling. Perhaps a life saver. I can’t tell you how much this post (which I know came from the bottom of your heart) has helped me. I’ve been anorexic for four years now, once in treatment and possibly facing it again. As a 17-year-old high school senior, this is no laughing matter. My eating disorder IS like taking a crowbar to my knees…college and everything might be ripped out from under me. However, it’s only if I let it. I’m starting to realize that now. Yes, it’s INSANELY hard to eat. But, I’m tired of counting my ribs every morning. I’m tired of pinching my stomach to see if I have a “pudge-roll”. I’m tired of measuring my arms by wrapping my fingers around them. I’m tired of taking an hour to eat each meal. I’m tired of dissapointing my parents, dietician, therapist, and friends. I’m tired of being tired. I know I need help. I don’t really want or know how to help myself, but I have to some how. Thank you, for reiterating what I need to do to recover. You’re the best of the best.
-Amanda
Best. Post. Ever.
Gala,
This is incredibly inspirational, and wonderful encouragement for loving yourself. It really made me think about how I see myself & how I can improve that.
Thank you so much.
xo
I love you. You are so so awesome. Freakin spot on.
BRAVO, Gala, BRAVO!
xox
So many people can seriously identify with this. You write on such a personal level. You were right when you said this is very tough love, but people need to hear it.
A while back, my boyfriend and I broke up. I thought that if I starved myself, he would either take pity on me and take me back, or find me more attractive and take me back…He did take me back, but after I realized that I needed to be myself…a version similar to who he fell in love with originally.
Really, just be who you are and you will turn heads!
Thank you Gala. Amazing post. Amanda, this might be a good blog for you to check out: christinekane.com/blog There are posts about how Christine healed herself from bulimia.
Good Luck X
I get extremely angry (and lightheaded) when I’m hungry so me and starvation have never been friends! Lately I’ve been eating extremely healthy; fruits, vegetable and lean meats and this is the healthiest (pun intended) relationship I’ve ever had with food. My body feels better and I eat whatever I want, cause it’s all good for me! I think once we take the power away from these stereotypical and detrimental body images and begin to love food that loves us, then we’ll be on to a good start!
Great post per usual, Gala!
Thank you. Just… Thank you.
Of everything I’ve ever heard from anyone on this “path to recover”, this has made the most impact.
Your words are golden.
Love,
Eleanor.
xo
When I put my life on hold for around 2 years I wanted to believe it was about power, and proving myself to be unnatural. I had the belief that there was something very powerful about a creature who could deny one of humanity’s basic instincts.
Yes, I could. To me I succeeded in that time, but at the sacrifice of my mind and spirit. Eating disorders are lonely, they are overwhelming, they literally suck the life out of you because you are not providing your body with FOOD to live on.
The prevalence of eating disorders amongst younger models breaks my heart, because they are so young and it is so easy for them to break and give up.
Hi Gala!
I am a loyal reader from Chile, who’s been following your blog for almost a year. Unfortunately, this time I turn to your website not to comment on your fabulous posts, but to ask you and your followers to pray for my country. As you may have seen in the news, an 8.8 magnitude earthquake hit Chile from North to South last Saturday. There have been enourmous human and material losses, and most cities have no water or electricity. I was lucky to be in a safe place the night the earthquake happened, and now I am referring to all websites I usually read to raise awareness of this catastrophe.
Please pray for us, our beautiful country needs it more than ever.
With love,
Patricia
One of the best things I ever experienced in relation to my body image, was the Life Drawing unit of my art class this semester. Strangely enough, after two & a half hours of studying a middle-aged stranger in the buff, I feel like my perspective really shifted, & I went home & looked at myself naked through the eyes of an artist & felt really, truly beautiful, in my own way. It was incredible.
Great post!
At last an article not about losing weight or about being a curvy ‘real women’ but about just being happy in your skin and looking after yourself.
‘Real women’ don’t fit into a pigeon hole, they don’t have to be slim or size 16- it is simply being true to yourself and your body type- how can you be anything but ‘real’ if you just stay healthy and treat yourself right?
There is more to life than counting calories in the same way there is more to life than making naturally thin women feel like shit because they don’t have ‘curves in the right places’ – having a happy healthy body is all that matters. A body that can do amazing things and that is a vehicle for an amazing mind.
Thank you Gala! Love yooooo!
xxx
I started to cry while reading this. It’s so goddamn true, and we all know it. I’ve struggled with food issues in the past, and even though I’ve left most of that behind me, it’s so hard to just forget all about it. I do believe, though, that if anyone could help me get rid of those last bad thoughts, it’d be you, Gala.
I think your post has good content, motive and intent, but I feel you oversimplify a complicated subject by just saying “Love yourself!” If it were as simple as waking up one day and deciding to love yourself or hearing the words of people who love you for the loving words they are, then eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, overeating, binging) would be easily solved! If only it were as simple as convincing yourself that you don’t care that other people care what you look like!
I’m-ok-you’re-ok only works for some people to move to action, and just telling someone to GO EAT isn’t going to make them eat. What about people who binge? Or overeat? I feel you leave them out of this equation totally.
I applaud this difficult topic, but I question your “tough love” approach with this. You’re speaking to an audience of people who often already feel badly enough about themselves for having eating disorders. Why tell someone they’re stupid for the way they feel? Everyone’s feelings are valid, even if they are misguided and misconstrued. Why do they feel that way to begin with? That’s more interesting to me, and I think you’d start to see real progress with more questions like that.
Radical self love is radical indeed, and everyone should feel it! While you’re making these posts, maybe you could include links and resources for those women who have difficulty waking up and feeling the love? Approach topics that relate, like abuse and recovery. Provide real statistics backed by studies. Why do people develop eating disorders? Start at the source to find the solution, rather than telling people they’re stupid for feeling the way they go. Or how they need to just grow up and face reality. Ouch. Really? Maybe this is how they escape their harsh reality.
While I respect everyone’s person struggles with their eating disorders, it almost seems like preaching to the choir with this post. We all KNOW we should love ourselves, but how many people actually know how to do that? Or have the equipment and tools to start? That’s way more interesting to me, and I’m hoping that’s part of your intent with future posts.
But proclaiming that we need to love ourselves is definitely a good reminder.
Obviously one approach does not fit all! My intention in posting this was to encourage the people who DO need help to finally get it, if they haven’t already. When I had an eating disorder, the only way anyone got through to me was by telling me, in an extremely blunt fashion, that I was wasting my life. That’s when I took steps to move past it. I figure I’m not the only one who could benefit from hearing that!
Throughout the week I’m going to be outlining ways people of all sizes can help themselves be more loving & accepting & where to get any additional assistance required. If you have any suggestions of your own, we’d love to hear them!
This was truly amazing. I just finished a research paper on this very topic.
wow this is so in line with what I’ve been thinking about lately. i love how you shared that picture at the top those women’s bodies are beautiful. I have 2 things to add listen to the song “I am the body beautiful” ....and look at Mark Fast’s 2 latest shows he uses at least 2 “plus-sized” models. Just watch the girls who walk down the runway some have obviously not eaten breakfast and then compare them to the girls who have. You realize how sickeningly awful the imposed starvation is. You’re bodies are beautiful ladies get the help you need to come to that realization whatever size you are.
xoxo
I have goosebumps.
How wonderful it’d be to meet you personally. You must be a wave of electric inspiration and positivity oozing out of your very skin. Your parents must be very proud to have raised such a wise girl.
Amazing article, Gala. You’ve left me speechless. I think this is something that every woman needs to read/hear. Thank you!
Amen for posting this. As I’ve gotten older I am learning to love myself and all of my size 14 body too. I’ve lost over 100lbs and you see how shallow people are. Thank you Gala
Thanks for a great post and a gorgeous picture! Those women are hot and I don’t like girls that way! :)
As a young model/actress I starved myself down to a size 5, and I am 5’8” tall. It wasn’t worth the heartache and the health issues.
Now, at age 49 I’m a size 16. I have two beautiful sons, a happy marriage of 20 years, and I still get hit on in the grocery store and the bars because I dress to my strengths and take care of my skin and hair.
It also helps that in the Mid West (I live in metro Detroit), healthy has always been perceived as sexier than thin. And our male population tends to like girls with ‘curves’.
When you like what you are, other folk do, too.
Y E S!!!!!!! I love all my fellow ladies who talk about body positivity THIS WAY. The only way things can be stopped is to TAKE CHARGE in any way! Even if it’s every one of us no longer dieting – no longer buying into what society keeps telling us. NO THANKS! I’m glad you quoted Kathleen Hannah, she gets me revved – she makes me feel amazing.
I’m a chubby girl.. and you know what? I like it. I adore my curves. I know this is what I’m supposed to look like! I like that when I carry large things around, they rest perfectly on my hip.. I LOVE THAT! I love food and I love my foodie girlfriend and I LOVE riding my bike and trying out for the roller derby and working myself HARD at the weight machines so that my body grows even stronger EVERY DAY! I raise my voice when I go to jean stores and the only size they have is a 0-2.. the larger sizes are ALWAYS missing because PEOPLE ARE LARGER THAN 0-6 and that is OKAY! (it’s okay to be 0-6 also if that’s how your body is supposed to be.) I just ADORE women who speak out like this.. I fall in love with every single one – it’s just so admiring.
Every one of you is just SO beautiful – I really mean that. I love the way girls think and act and create and inspire.
I wrote this blog entry dedicated to curvy ladies: ohmymaybee.blogspot.com/2007/0…
this is such an amazing post. one of your absolute best :)
i can’t wait for the next ones on how to love your body!
I have recently experienced so much drama and controversy at my blog and formspring because a female who suffers from an eating disorder feels like its acceptable to come to my social networking sites and make me feel fat/chunky/disgusting. I’ve made many posts on it and stated the same thing over and over and over… I love me and I hate to see another girl break the divine pact of sisterhood and try to tear me down because of it.
I’ve had girls come to me for advice with their eating disorder or because they feel too chunky and this girl has gone and said such awful and malicious things to them like “stop eating fatty” etc. It breaks my heart that anyone has to experience something as traumatic as an eating disorder, but it is 100% the attitude you face it with.
This is by far one of the most amazing pieces you’ve ever written for your blog. I commend you and applaud you and even when I didn’t think you could win anymore respect from me, oh Gala, you’ve proven me wrong!
♥
Kaelah
this is so great!! thank you for this post. as a mother to a toddler, i have to honestly say that i’m dreading her adolescent years and the threat an eating disorder may pose. this was so amazing, i might have to print it off & save it for her to read someday! :)
Gala, this is beautiful. It made me tear up sitting here in my office. I’ve never had an eating disorder, but I have struggled with weight for most of my life. It really is such a stupid thing to worry about, yet it’s so hard to stop. Thank you for being such an inspiration to us all.
Have to say,
That was an amazing article.
Really beautifully put. So true & inspirational.
Can’t wait for your next article.
Much love.
x
Skye
THANK YOU! Finally someone who is prepared to stand up and say it without pussy-footing around, scared of hurting feelings.
You are an inspiration, Gala, and posts like this make me adore you even more :)
Excellent Post, you definitely can not think properly when your body is in starvation mode.
I have suffered body issues since highschool, all associated with the size of my Legs and Bottom, thanks to some really mean girls in the playground. It wasnt until really I saw the new DimitySo ad campaign with one of their models having a similiar figure to my own did I see how beautiful it could be.
I think it’s normal to have insecurities, but definitely once in a while we all need a shakeup. I work in an industry dominated by men, and I practice Martial Arts, in neither of these activities is it helpful or wise to be weak and starving and not at your best. You’ll be walked over otherwise.
Hi, Gala! I do agree with you! And I can’t stop staring at that picture in the post because those women are so beautiful.
I don’t think that thin girls aren’t as beautiful as the ones with curves and that every natural skinny people should torture themselves trying to get some weight. I just think to look beautiful you should be healthy, that’s it.
Love yourself, fellows!:)
Great post Gala – I’m dying to know where the photo comes from, I need to find something just like it!
I thought this was a wonderful article. I’ve never actually had a eating disorder per say….although I’ve had my starvation times….but I think this is also brilliant applied to other things. For instance, girls who self-harm and such…that’s such a powerful addiction, and I think that this article could really help some people I know. I’ll pass it on :)
Thank you Gala.
EXCELLENT article. KUDOS.
holy shit that is powerful!
“Any man worth his salt wants a woman who is a worthy adversary, someone who is his equal, strong & proud, someone who will tell him to pipe down when he needs it, & someone who can support him with unwavering personal strength & unconditional love.”
People should remember this line IN PARTICULAR. Gala, a marvellous article.
Great post. I’ve had my struggles with disordered eating which I think is a lot more prevalent than full out bulimia & anorexia & sometimes I have to catch myself from falling back into that. I really envy some people who just don’t even think about food.
I love when you write passionately and fervently!
This article transcends and meets each woman on a personal level.
Love!
I know everyone has pretty much already put this better than I ever could – But thankyou. I needed this, my friends needed this, the world NEEDS this. Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou for putting it as beautifully as you have, to force us to pay attention.
My hat comes off to you Miss Gala!
This is powerful, beautiful and most of all 100% TRUE.
A much needed, strong and honest voice on this false idea of perfection.
x
This article made me hungry
...for your next article.
x
I agree, but…in America at least, something like 60% of women are obese with a fraction of those being morbidly obese. We tend to make a fuss about all the skinny models, but the reality is that the majority of us are too fat, dangerously fat, in fact. We could all stand to learn about healthy eating habits, and generally, most of us need to eat less, not more. Those who are ‘starving themselves’ are a small group, definitely not anywhere close in numbers to the amount of obese and unhealthy with Type II Diabetes, etc. And Kate Beckinsale, really? She weighs about 80 lbs.!
Gala,
This article made me cry. You have no idea how much this touched me- I starved myself stupid the latter half of last year, and I’m just starting to eat right again. This is it, the encouragement I need right here.
The ferocity behind this article is astounding. The truth in your words is breathtaking. The fact is that we can no longer afford to be enemies to ourselves or each other, male, female, you name it.
Thank you.
AMAZING. and if anyone is looking for some inspiring images of curvy women feel free to check out my tumblr :)
This is great! I love your passion and energy, and your fabulous little disclaimer at the beginning! xoxx
Gala, this is fucking awesome.
Thank you.
Gala, that was wonderful. After struggling with an eating disorder for quite a while (now i’m finally in recovery!), i am so happy to see that you posted it. You speak the truth!
To your words, I might suggest adding something at the end: if you think you have an eating disorder, TELL SOMEONE. Get help. Don’t struggle and starve alone.
Thanks, Gala. Great article.
I have always considered myself to be a confident, beautiful woman. Recently I’ve become more and more interested in fashion. The thing is, the more I follow fashion, the more I find myself disliking my own body. How ridiculous is that? I don’t want to hate my body, I just want to know what’s coming up in SS10! The fashion industry needs to change, without a doubt.
Look at those beautiful women! I can’t understand why men love skinny, hip-less women. I’m no shrink, but I think they are afraid of women with womanly bodies. I once saw a movie with a male friend, where a very skinny woman got naked. She looked horrible! I asked him what he thought – oh yeah, he thought she was hot. Sorry for the rant, but I can understand why fashion wants skinny women, so their clothes look good. But in real life, I just don’t get it. Thanks for posting!
I just got home from the doctor today, and because of all the health issues that I have from having anorexia and bulimia on and off for five years (and I’m only seventeen!), I’m probably going to be on massive loads of medication for rest of my life. But I still have dreams- I’m going to college next for visual art, and I’m going to travel and get my own apartment and be alive! It makes me so sad, to think of all the great thing I could have written, all the beautiful things I could made, but didn’t because I couldn’t even manage to take care of the basic necessities of life. Thanks, Gala. I needed this today.
This was beautiful to read, tears litterally sprang to my eyes. I lived with a best friend of mine for a year and she suffered with anorexia. She was so weak, lifeless and vague. She wasn’t a woman anymore she was just a ragdoll that I had to take care of and it was so heartbreaking. One day I snapped and said, almost word-for-word a lot of things you have said here. So I guess it brought it all back.
She is doing so well now, she is DELIGHTED to have her tits and hips back, she feels feminine and sexy but most importantly she is awake enough to let that personality of hers shine through as it should.
I am against “pro” any size. People should be as they are and work it as best they can. It’s the only way to be happy so long as you feel healthy and you should never try to change to impress anybody else, What would be the point in that? I want to be loved for me, not an imagined, diluted photocopy of myself, it has taken me a long time to feel that way though.
There’s a change a coming anyhow and i’m glad you’re a part of it Gala
you are really and truly amazing. i don’t even know what else to say.
Ms. Gala, I love you. I’m so glad you are out there speaking to young women’s innate strength and beauty. Thanks for this. High five!
Fuckin A, right on.
One thing that has always boggled my mind is how I put pressure on myself to be stick skinny when what I personally find sexy and appealing in a woman is curves, meat, tits, and ass. My placement on the homo spectrum is tilted toward girls like the ones in that photo—girls who look like /women/—not little boys. So why do I want to look like a little boy? Holy shit, that brainwash is some powerful stuff.
Way to fight back, Gala, great article. xx !!!
Gala, you wrote this just when I needed it. I’m currently recovering from anorexia, and as a 17 year (or any age really) old it is so hard to not be influenced and regress back into old habits. I struggle every morning getting into the shower because I see every little bit of 10 lbs that i’ve gained back mocking me in the mirror, and the issues with my stomach from starting to eat more food again. I almost broke out into tears today because of my stomach’s bloating kept popping my belt undone..
And coming home from shopping I just kept thinking of plans to go back to restricting and losing weight.. but Darling, you came out with this incredibly inspirational piece that makes me want to chuck my scale out the window and forget that I probably had a 500 calorie lunch. I think I’m ready to accept a happier life now.
Much love
Rockets xoxoxox
This is so so so wonderful! I can’t agree more. I am currently doing a series on my blog called ‘Be Good to Your Body’. I think you would like it because it’s not about losing weight or fitting in to a stereotypical mold… it’s all about treating your body with respect and ways to feel your best and be healthy! As always, I love your blog :)
Thank you! For posting a real, inspirational, positive post. You’ve made my night reading this. I will share it far and wide because every man and woman I know, needs to read this! I love this site – I have discovered so many great things here!
I suggest you have an eating disorder before writing about them like you understand.
I mean, I totally agree with a lot of the stuff you wrote, and it’s inspiring and everything, but you can’t possibly understand everything that goes through the minds of eating-disordered people, and it’s not even right to pretend that recovering from them is a matter of one day deciding not to have one.
Thank you so much for this post gala, i really needed it.
Ever since i started visiting your website last September-ish I’ve had somewhere to go when i need advise or cheering up; your website.
Thank you for making my life better :)
Bitchin’ article.
...and it made me hungry. ;p
So inspiring and empowering :)
Love this article.
I hope that the world focuses inward on their own health and intelligence. I just hope that people don’t see this new wave of embracing one’s self whatever your form as an excuse for being UNHEALTHILY overweight. I’m not saying that extra padding is bad or ugly…but I think that using self-confidence etc as an excuse to be 5“6 and 180lbs and unfit is just misguided and wrong. Sure, there are people who are very overweight but are still fit (and conversely there are those who are severely underweight and unfit)...but I am hoping that this article and others like it encourages women to embrace themselves and their body in such a way that makes them look after themselves – by which I mean NO STARVING, NO THROWING UP , NO OVEREXERCISING...but also NO OVEREATING, EATING REAL FOOD NOT FAKE CRAP, and TAKING PLEASURE IN MOVEMENT. :)
Perhaps it’s just my opinion, but I think anyone who looks after themselves is beautiful. It shows in their smile, the way they walk, and so on.
Wow. This is so what I needed to hear right now.
My story is a hard one to tell – and long – so I won’t post it here, but thank you. I really needed to hear that
x
Estella — I was anorexic for years.
As someone who dealt with an eating disorder for a few years and was constantly put down for being ‘too skinny’ and not eating enough its kind of a slap in the face for people to go on about thin girls being soooooo unhealthy yet there are many over weight, obese girls that are just as if not more unhealthy and no one is allowed to say anything to them. Its ok to criticize people with “you’re too thin, eat more,” but if you say to someone “you’re too fat, eat less” everyone flips out. People even justify being over weight with “I’m just curvy” “more to love” “big boned” whatever. Both under-eating and over-eating is dangerous, and I feel like this article slams one side of eating disorders while justifying the other, though I know it came from a good place and wasn’t meant that way. You have to be fair.
Nice work :D
Thankyou Gala,
You always know how to make everyone feel amazing and inspired …
I was a long-legged slim teenager and modelled in my early years but after having three children (the youngest now 17 and looks like me back then) I have struggled with my weight … now I am a tall size 16 – it’s great to know you can embrace your own body and celebrate it for what it has given you and still look healthy and beautiful at any size or age !!
check out BGM Models for a confidence boost girls too !
I agree so much with V & M.
“I wholeheartedly approve of reassuring the larger lady that she is as beautiful as any waif gracing the cover of a magazine, but I object to being told that I’m not a real woman because I don’t have curves, or even being made to feel responsible for the many unhappy young girls in this world who have anorexia.
I can’t help being the small size that I am, and I know that (whatever the media may say) I AM a real woman, but I find it almost impossible to feel good about my curveless body. It is not only the overweight who suffer from social and cultural body ideals – it is the underweight, too.”
I am very petite. I am nearing 22 and I can’t count the number of comments and ‘jokes’ I’ve gotten regarding my small size, my weight, eating habits, etc, from middle school onwards – from strangers, family and from friends who didn’t know how hurtful their words were. I wish I could fill out my tops, I don’t like being mistaken for younger as I am, though I’m sure I’ll appreciate it 10 years from now. I love food, and certainly don’t want to starve at all, but I have also come to feel uncomfortable having meals around people I don’t trust or who don’t know me well enough. It’s not that I desire to purge, binge or be on a diet at all, I just can’t help but wonder what others think of me at a meal sometimes, or fear their comments, especially if I eat “a lot” or am unable to finish something off.
I feel bad for all the thin people being picked on in the comments.
This entry was about loving all body types, loving yourself for who you are. Girls can be naturally really skinny, as its the same with girls that are naturally more curvy. it works both ways. Just because a girl is very thin, you can’t automatically assume she’s anorexic, the problem can be genetic. Its the same as you can’t assume a girl over eats just because she looks over weight.
While I’ve never dealt with an eating disorder myself, I have been dealing with an anxiety disorder for many years now and it’s amazing how much of what you say here really speaks to me. Basically, if you take away the references to body size and replace the word “eating” with “anxiety” you get what I am only beginning to understand through therapy.
We all have boxes we put ourselves in that make us feel “safe” and “in control” that really rob us of any real control we have over our lives. And I think you’re right- that the only way to break through these walls we’ve created for ourselves is through Radical Self Love.
I just want to thank you for taking the time on your (*awesome*) blog to talk about RSL- it’s been a wonderful supplement to what I’m already working on myself. :D
I live my life through fashion blogs written by beautiful, fabulous, usually thin, interesting, successful and inspirational women, and most of the time it makes me feel like crap. Thank you for the slap upside the head you just delivered. These women are not beautiful, successful, fabulous, interesting or inspirational because they’re thin. And I shouldn’t feel inadequate because I’m not.
Thank you so much for this, Gala. I am sending it to all the important girls in my life because it’s something I think we all need to hear.
Thank you so much, Gala! This was something that we all need to hear, and I have never heard it stated so eloquently.
I also really appreciate how you didn’t tell us NOT to be skinny. As someone who naturally has the awkwardly-bony look going on, I hate how so many “self love” and “motivational” articles assume that everyone in their audience has the same body type, leading them to diss those with mine. Thank you for this article and the positive focus you have in it!
Gala, this is so so important! Thanks for writing! Just the other day my SIX YEAR OLD SISTER jumped off the scale in the bathroom saying excitedly, “I lost weight!” What IS the world coming to? It makes me wonder what I can do for her. To help her live in a world that is above worrying about all this dribble.
I loved this article so much. It really made me feel good. I was super skinny most of my life, until I was diagnosed with Epilepsy in October of 2007. One of the medications they gave me made me gain over 50 pounds. I lost most of the weight, but have never gotten back down to my original skinny state. You know what? I’m happy. I’m happy with my current weight. Looking at pictures of me before when I was really skinny, I didn’t look healthy. When I had all that weight, I didn’t feel healthy. Now, though, I’m happy. What always hurt me the most though was hearing my friends call themselves fat and that they wanted to lose weight when they were smaller then I was! Sure everyone around them would be like “What are you talking about?” and they’d just laugh and say they were joking, but I could always tell they weren’t. I’m happy there are people in the public eye that are working to change the whole weight issue girls have. We’ll get the world to change, no matter what it takes.
I really truly believe every female should read this, and everyone who does read it should pass it on!
Not only should we all start appreciating ourselves for who we are BUT aprreciating other people for who they are as well. It’s about time we stop being envious of the way other people look and start honing in on the inner strength that we all have! NO ONE is perfect, EVERYONE has their ‘flaws’... its about whether or not we let them take over our lives.
Curves or no curves, big breasts or little breasts, voluptuously booty or little rump it makes no difference!WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL! AND WE SHOULD ALL LOVE THE BODIES THAT WE ARE GIVEN!
Thank you Gala for posting such an important and inspirational peice
Food guilt is toxic.
If we’re served an awesome meal and eat huge portions one night, our only thought should be – that was awesome. Trying to immediately compensate by eating less than makes you full the next day, or by exercising more that you have the energy for throws things out of whack, psychologically and physically.
I’m not saying this is easy. I went through a period where I had a very bad relationship with food and things don’t change instantly. But I’ve been so pleasantly surprised by my body’s ability to regulate itself to a very natural, healthy weight over an extended period of time (patience is important) – as long as I don’t try to impose restrictions on it. I can honestly say that I eat whatever I want at this point in my life, and I’ve never looked or been healthier. That doesn’t mean I have a supernatural metabolism, it just means I don’t over think it, and my body actually takes care of itself. (I’ve been comfortable with my eating habits and weight for over 5 years now.)
The other thing I would add, though, is the importance of staying away from processed foods. I eat loads of healthy fat (avocados, olive oil, greek yogurt… I worked in a fancy cheese shop for almost a year…) It tastes amazing and makes me full. I don’t have much body fat. But factory-produced foods – I’m not sure it’s possible to ever feel full eating that kind of stuff all the time. No doubt this is because it completely lacks any of the nutrients and vitamins your body is actually craving when it tells you to eat. (And I swear at least one of those unpronounceable ingredients must be an appetite enhancer.)
Whew. Sorry to go on, but as I said, I have ‘been there’ (though not dangerously) and as hard as it was to do, it really did seem that by, as Gala advocates, ultimately letting go of a conviction that I needed to look a certain way, I stumbled onto some crazy secret that should be totally obvious to everyone – left to its own devices and with some nutritious food, your body will do good things. And a healthy body helps create a stable mind – one that can better accept not looking like an impossible ideal. It can be a chicken/egg/catch 22 situation, but at some point it’s crucially important to stop telling your body what it should be doing and pay attention to what it needs. Vitamins. Minerals. Fat. Protein. Carbs. Love ;)
This post is just overflowing with passion and energy- in a good way, of course. Nice! Thanks for writing it.
Gala, I couldn’t have said it better myself. You are 100% right on this. I am sitting here, agog, ten minutes after reading this post. It’s brilliant
Thank you.
That’s all I need to say.
Thank you.
I’ve been a long time reader and this is my first time commenting. I just way to say (at least for me) you couldn’t have posted this at a better time.
I’ve struggled with my weight for years, always feeling like I’m too big, going through phases of starving myself, your post is so to the point,and at least for me, it’s very necessary to hear that.
Thank you so much!
Confidence is hard won, true, but it is really the key to beauty.
I’ve always been on the smaller side, especially when I was a teenager. I used to get bullied excessively by bigger girls for my weight, and was called anorexic, even given threats because of my size. I started wearing clothes 3 sizes too big to try to cover up my body, and developed a sort of eating disorder, but instead of starving myself I ate portions that were too big, and forced myself to carry on eating to get bigger. I think it’s important to think of those people who are victimised by the whole “bigger is better” campaigns going on across the world. To be honest, now, like most other women, I’m worried about those few pounds I put on every now and then, sometimes going to unhealthy lengths to shed them. A question we might need to ask is, how can we get a healthy self-image in our minds, without being so relaxed about our bodies that we become unhealthy? Where is the line drawn between being mindful our weight for our health and being too focused on it?
Heartbreakingly beautiful post. We need to hear this every once in a while.
Great post!
I have never starved myself, but I’ve been trying to lose some weight recently.
This article has made me rethink the decision, figure out why I want to lose weight and shift my focus to starting a more healthy lifestyle instead of dieting.
Great great great post!!!
Gala … thank you.
I am in that awkward stage of recovery where the food’s back to normal, but now I’m rediscovering real life. To read your post and then come to see the comments, I am so inspired.
It makes me realise that I’m not alone and that there are women out there all over the world, tall, short, wide, thin, whatever … women who love, or who hate their bodies.
I feel that we can each help each other, we can show those who don’t have the love, how to start loving themselves. This needs to be a worldwide movement. We need to realise how lucky we are to have two legs to walk, two eyes to see, a body to make a baby one day … whatever it is we can be grateful for from our body, we should shout to the rafters and proclaim this radical self love.
I want to be there. I want my life to have meaning again. My greatest goal in recovery is to have the spark back in my eyes. I’ve got a bit of glitter back, but now I need to work on the body image and self love thing. And I think I’ve found the place to do it.
From the bottom of my heart, from a lil-ol Wellington lass, love, Rachel xxx
The ladies in that picture are f*cking HOT!
Hey Gala,
Everything you wrote here I totally agree with! I have noticed that over the past few years healthy eating and body loving have become such a massive thing and that makes me so happy. However, I’m finding that people have taken it to a whole new level and begin claiming that if you’re small you are therefore anorexic and unnatractive. As a skinny minny myself it really offends me when others talk about tiny girls as if they’re disgusting even though it’s completely natural. I’m just interested to see what you have to say in regards to this.
Much love
Jade xx
Hi Gala! Thanks for replying to my comment.
As I said, I think a lot of your comments are wonderful and well intentioned, and I know you’ve had your struggles. You know how recovery has worked (and continues to work) for you and you alone. I am always hesitant to really get behind people who dish out advice on how to deal with/feel about/tackle mental illnesses/disorders and recovery when they are not an actual trained professional. Support and encouragement are awesome, absolutely! We all need more of that. We can all afford to love ourselves and one another more.
I felt you were really trying to speak to people with eating disorders, as well as disordered eating issues, and your message of self love is all encompassing and has spoken to people who suffer from mild insecurities to people who have stated they are going through recovery. Beautiful!
I fear, though, that your “Just go eat” and Tough Love approach to people who are TRULY suffering from actual EDs is not at all helpful for people in crisis situations – who really NEED to make that first step and get help. That’s terrifying!
You said it yourself: Having an eating disorder is not a choice. Simply deciding to eat is just not that simple! Or deciding to not eat, etc. I just am reflecting on what you said – that you felt people need to hear your tough love approach to this, as it worked for you.
But I don’t think any suffering person going through real crisis needs to hear how stupid they are for feeling anything that they feel. And eating disorders are pretty much non-stop crisis. A coping mechanism for other crisis events sometimes, even. A symptom of many more things going on.
I wanted to give you some (hopefully) useful links to read to help you understand what I mean when I say that telling people who are suffering that they are stupid, need to get over it and to stop being immature/afraid of taking risks is dangerous and potentially causes more harm than does good. Yes, this tough love approach, which was probably in person and by someone close to you rather than a stranger on the internet, may have worked for you. It can work, sure. In person with a trusted person giving the Tough Love.
However, for the anonymous person you are speaking to who hasn’t started getting help (who you said you really want to encourage to get help), your comments may inspire them to NOT seek help and burrow more deeply within themselves. You won’t know though, because it is doubtful you’ll ever hear much from those people.
They may be on the verge of crisis if not constantly in a state of crisis, and criticisms/judgment, as well as negating their feelings can push them further back into their self-imposed cell. Now, they feel shame. More shame that they don’t need. From a stranger. And everyone deserves to feel whatever it is they feel, even if you or I know or feel they are not RIGHT. It is also a huge part of recovery.
I love your message of self love and healthfulness. It’s wonderful! But you’re not a psychologist, and you don’t know what’s best for everyone. There’s no One Size Fits All Solution or Approach. It’s way more deep than you’ve even begun to go with this series, and I’m earnestly excited to see where you will go with your future articles. You seem intelligent, very caring and have a sincere desire to help people, lead the way to a revolution. I think your heart is in a wonderful place. You could better achieve your goal of helping the people you truly want to help by not attacking or judging them right after you elevate them, hope to inspire them. I feel your anger at this topic. I truly do. I get pissed when I think about my busted kneecap years.
You have valuable experience to share, for sure, and I’m sure you have a boatload of great resources and facts to share with people.
You asked me to share some ideas/information. Here’s some:
Did you know that they are finding evidence that anorexia can be genetic? I wonder how much is conditioning based on environment, rather than being biologically genetic. Also, some people with who binge eat have been found to have a low level of serotonin, as well as genetic mutations that make them crave food.
Btw, did you know that 10%-15% of of the people with Anorexia or Bulemia are men? It’s not just us ladies with the ED issues. I wonder what the driving force is for men? That’s 1 million men in the US who are suffering as well.
Did you also know that archeologists have found evidence of binging and purging in artifacts from ancient Greece and Rome? Yep, it was advertised as a way to “good health.” Craziness.
95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25. The brain is still developing until we’re 30, with reasoning becoming more highly developed at the age of 20. Emotional refinement begins at the same age.
So, basically, most of the people afflicted with EDs (which would make this your target audience) are Adolescents. The percentage of women with eating disorders declines greatly after age 30. There’s speculation that because of continued mental development, it makes it easier for EDs to take their hold, make it harder to let go.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses.
As of 2006, 67% of adults over the age of 20 were overweight, with 34% of those people being obese.
Here are links to a couple of articles about assisting people through crisis, people with eating disorders. Maybe you will find them useful in your research:
www.something
www.something
www.211bigbend.org/hotlines/su…
www.eatingdisorderclinic.org/e…
www.eatingdisorderclinic.org/e…
www.state.sc.us/dmh/anorexia/s…
Take care! I look forward to your future articles!
Hi, I am new to your wonderful website and how fortunate that I stumble across it here tonight in Australia.
What stopped me on the particular page discussing the weight of women, was the gorgeous picture that accompanied it. What a stunning, tasteful and ‘worth than a million words’ photograph that is, it almost took my breath away. I can’t even recall ever seeing such a representation of beautiful, healthy and curvacious women in any form of medium.
I have struggled with my weight since I was a very young child. Always having been (and still are) an emotional eater, it has been difficult to maintain the significant weight losses I have acheieved over the last 39 yrs. It is not that I want to have weight issues, but for me it comes down to all the other ‘issues’ that I have.
Recently I began regular counselling sessions, which in time I hope help me deal with these issues, but there is something that I realised tonight. Your photograph told me something that spoke directly to my heart. I don’t want to be skinny, but instead healthy and happy. I want to be free of the chronic pain I have suffered physically for the last 4 yrs, I want to have the choice to be active, not just with exercise, but also in my husband and childrens lives too. I want to be able to look in the mirror each morning, I want to be able to smile back at the person I see in my reflection and I want to say ‘thank you’ when someone compliments me for who I am as a person, inside and out.
Thankyou, for the photograph and all of the dialogue that came with it. Your site will be often visited by me and I look forward to learning and sharing.
Take care
Von
i couldnt agree more. eating disorders are so boring. i persoanally wouldnt want to ever go back to being obsessed with the scales, numbers, calories blah blah yaaaawn! i havent weighed myself in years and i dont go to the gym. fuck it!
on another (related) note i have a friend who is a plus size model (well hardly plus size she a uk 16 but only cos she’s like 6 foot tall!) and shes the first ‘plus size’ to be used in the window display of a major department store on oxford st london. how RADICAL is that?!
Gala,
My friend linked me to this site, for no other reason than her shear love for me, and for our bodies. I read this and cried, I read this to my boyfriend and cried some more. I printed it out and gave this to my mother, to one of my younger sisters. I can’t say I’ve struggled with my weight—because I never believed it to be a struggle. I always lost/gained weight fairly easily, and not in good health. Until about, 2 years ago I decided to just embrace what I had and try to make it better in the best way possible.
Healthy eating, working out, laughing, loving. Recently though, I’d say the past 3 or 4 months, I started comparing myself to every girl I met, and every girl I am friends with. How thin they are, how not thin I am in comparison. How would these clothes look on me? They’d look better on them. It has been eating me alive.
Reading your article last night, brought me back to life.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Much love from New Jersey.
excellent way to say goodbye to february, which was national ED awareness month. thank you for writing this Gala. I’m going to send it to all the girls I was in treatment with.
You did it, I did it, many people in these comments did it… you CAN escape and recover from an eating disorder.
man, that is so so true, and that’s so sad that the world has come to it, i mean 60% of girls at the age of 6 think they are overweight? that’s crazy! thanks for a great post!
This is a great post, really. I’m tired of feeling nervous about what other people think about me and my looks, though it has nothing to do with being skinny for me. It’s just that we’re all thinking too much about how we look. I’m looking forward to more posts about this.
Thank you so much for bringing this up =)
I starved myself to hospital weight whan I was 16 but never got any official treatment, but one day I realised I was killing myself and began the long journey back… for a few years I was pretty happy and healthy but now I know I am sliding back into it because my mum is going through chemotherapy and this is the only thing I feel I have control over in my life which is WRONG I know but this beast is a tricky one to fight. To anyone fighting their way out of this blackest of black holes, please keep trying =). P.S I also agree…it’s hard to hear about men and everyone loving curves when you are stuck with ribs and a sternum when it comes to a chest! Naturally no boobs =( but I think Keira and Natalie Portman don’t look too bad for having no boobs so let’s not feel too left out!
Gala,
Yet again, this is an utterly amazing, inspiring read and was exactly what I needed. After spending about an hour trying to explain a little bit more of my ‘disordered eating’ to my gorgeous fiance who does his utmost to understand, this is what I came online to find. Made me feel so much better to know that I’m not the only one with slightly wonky eating/body image ideas.
Fantabulous. Thank you. xxxx
Just want to say “Thank You” for this awesome article. It made me feel good after reading it. Thx for making me smile :)
Wow this is the first time I’ve read your articles and was impressed by the message inherent. I share some of the concerns about labelling eating disorders ‘stupid’ as I think this can be taken out of context by those in crisis however the overall message around body image is fabulous.
Many many woman are dieting themselves constantly without displaying the full signs of an eating disorder and need to hear your message. I run a yoga studio and have some women who are obsessed with loosing weight. I work really hard to get them to see strength coming from the inside and the core not being about how many abs they can count but how they can move and feel within their body. As a once size 16 I have made the journey from diet based weight loss to eating healthy and exercising and loving life. As soon as I got my head sorted out it seemed like the weight shifted…it was plenty of padding to keep the world from me or me from the world. Now I proudly maintain the curves that I do have and refuse to let myself get too little. I am a size 8 from my job but a curvy one. I say be proud out there and know health from the inside out rather than the outside in.
Hey! my friend showed me this post and after reading it i felt that everything you said was completely encouraging and true, i do think as you do and support your words, its just that sometimes it is easier to say it than to feel it. i see all this famous actress that are fighting for giving the right message, as you mentioned jessica sipson and kate beckinsale and i also know about tyra bank’s show, but here comes my point, this three women are beutiful and THIN, it is so difficult to hear them say this things when they look like that and are dieting and working out for magazines not to go “ look how fat … is!!” it would be way more easier if they were regular size than very skinny, tyra banks was one of the models we looked up to, because of her beauty and her body and is the one telling us to don’t be like that when she looks just like that! so i think it is difficult to get the right message when you have people so beautifull and boys (im in high school) not looking at you or making comments about your big ass, it makes me really ashamed to show my body, im sorry is just that i wish i could look in the mirror and say im beutifull but it just isnt that easy to do. again i completely agree with you but is not the same to say it and to do it, here i am dieting
gala, this is such a FANTASTIC artcle. i am 18, a freshman in college, and a size 0. i’ve never had full blown anorexia, but ever since the 9th grade, there will be times will i’ll force myself not to eat anything, because i ‘think i’m eating too much, so i have to compensate for it,’ or something to that effect. i often blame it on, ‘i’m a college student, so i don’t eat to eat as healthy and as much as i should.’
even though i’m not technically anorexic, sometimes it’s still hard to make myself eat, even though i know i’m skinny.
this article made me totally look at it in a different light. i LOVED it.
thank you, gala. thank you.
xoxo, erin.
unaveragethoughts.blogspot.com
Beautiful. Thank you.
OMG Gala you made me cry.
Lots of love.
With all sincerity,
Thank you for this.
I’ve been feeling terrible about my body.
But now I feel empowered.
No more obsessing about calories and punishing myself if I eat too much.
I’m going to feed my body good food,
and exercise because I want to, not because I’m hate myself.
And if I end up losing weight,
then I do, if not, oh well.
I am choosing to love myself.
Thank you again!
i love the message, but we all know that looks and the outside do matter in certain ways (i mean, this blog is certainly devoted to fashion and the like and it is impossible to say we are not judged daily by others based on appearance [fair on not])...
regardless, i love your blog and what this article stands for!
YES. oh gala, this is so spot-on.
thankyou for this. xx
I admire your effort to promote self love
I hope many woman/girls/boys/whomever
can take something positive from what you write
I’m not trying to put a damper on things
but maybe you are not the right person to
be speaking about eating disorders
and fact, statistics and what the media spins
may not be what you should be working off
I think you should post paintings and art work
from centries past, you know, of what woman
looked like when there was no such thing as
‘body image’ or the media, or shit like that
Just a suggestion
I’ve always felt that women tend to be overly sensitive about their appearance and weight MOSTLY because of the judgments of OTHER women… is there any truth to this?
Whenever I ask women, and I’ve asked MANY, why they wear the silly things they they wear they inevitably say, “Oh, I think it’s sexy.” But when I say, “Men don’t care about that” they responds with, “But I do. And other women do. I dress for ME, and other women.”
High Heels for example. Most men actually prefer shorter women, yet women prefer feeling taller.
Are women more pressured by other women?
Either way this article is a great reflection of women supporting other women!
I agree with the overall message, but I think it’s somewhat hypocritical to post pictures of most naked “curvy” or “real” looking girls alongside these kinds of posts and then have bone-thin models on the other 95% of the photos posted alongside content. It’s really the mixed messages that hurt society even more by confusing individuals. Oh, we want to love ourselves and be free and dance around our house eating cupcakes. As long as it looks something like this: dep.fashionista.com/images/sir…
The media loves to bitch about how skinny models are and gloats over things like the nude model with the unairbrushed gut that ran in Glamour last year (http://ohsheglows.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/untitled_thumb1.png) and the Dove campaign. Simultaneously the women who are touted as the most beautiful are all pretty damn thin and women like Jessica Simpson (who ain’t even fat) are mocked.
I think my main issue with this article is that it feels so all or nothing. I had an eating disorder in high school and hated who I was but recovered through doing a lot of introspective work and (yes…) smoking pot to make myself eat. A few years later, I totally love myself and am the strongest and the healthiest I have ever been; but I watch what I eat because plant-based food makes me feel best, and I do yoga 4+ days a week. As a result, I’m as small as when I had an eating disorder and I like it. Eating disorder, or a few disordered eating habits? Radical self love, or vanity?
[Disclaimer: I love your site and I think that the intention is great. I just am very passionate about the subject as well and think that looking at the issue critically is the way to progress. I think that the world is becoming more health-conscious yet accepting of the diversity of body types and I’m excited for that to happen!]
those women in the photo you posted still look perfect though —- still airbrushed, no bumps, no stretchmarks, no cellulite, perfect hair, perfect makeup…
Although this is an inspirational post. I have to agree with others who commented before that it is not always easy to just snap out of it and learn to love yourself. I applaud women who can love themselves no matter how they look, but for many women it is a constant struggle. I have been a big girl and I lost weight (about 20 kilos) gradually during 2 years, I am not yet at my ‘ideal’ weight, but I am far from where I’ve been. And although it sounds like a cliché, I have to say I am much happier now that I’ve lost weight. A starving girl may not be very productive and powerful but overeating girl is just as weak and vulnerable. Letting myself go and eating junk food just spirals me into deep depression, eating healthy and exercising on the other hand makes me feel better. Anyway, it’s so great that you are promoting self-love. Thank you!
Yes! Brava! Very, very well said! Everyone needs to read this.
Thank you so much for this, Gala. It’s exactly what I needed. I really struggle with eating, it makes me feel fat and gross, and often go days without eating. It’s miserable and makes me feel awful- and the fact is, I’m a horrible, massive bitch when I’m hungry. The people around me, the people I love, can’t stand me that way. I’m bookmarking this and rereading it any time I feel like I don’t wanna eat.
Gala, What happened to part 4 of this series, the one about using EFT? I bookmarked it this morning to read after school and now it’s gone & I’m getting a 404 error :(
What seems strange to me is that in the middle of all this propaganda for “Big is beautiful” and so on, we’re forgetting something important: Being overweight or obese is NOT HEALTHY. It’s not. It’s a known fact that women who have more fat around the waist are much more prone to illness and disease. I’m all for appreciating who you are and what God gave you, but most people were not born 60 pounds overweight…because it’s bad for your body. I think you should be encouraging women to be at a healthy weight, not loving themselves even if they’re 350 pounds.
I’m anorexic right now and have been for seven years, and I admire you for trying to make a point and help other people. It’s nice that you don’t want others to struggle. But I think you might want to consider touting real psychological help along with telling yourself you’re beautiful, etc. I mean, I can say that all I want but it feels like a dirty lie coming out of my mouth.
Also being overweight can be as unhealthy as being underweight. You can give some naive people a wrong idea about this by posting pictures like that, as some of those women probably are. But I may be wrong. It’s a pretty inspiring post though, it just has a couple of flaws.
♥
Hi Gala,
I see that people are loving to hear what you wrote, and for that I think it’s really great too. For me, it’s preaching to the converted cuz, well, I agree whole heartedly!
I didn’t expect to hear it from you though. When you post photos of your extremely fit and tiny “yoga belly”, boast (however modestly) that you are “thinner and richer than last year”, and rever Karl Lagerfeld, it seems like a bit of a mixed message. Especially the reverence of Mr Lagerfeld, who notoriously advocates for going hungry in the name of looking good (skinny) in your clothes.
I’m happy to hear it though, and know you would never endorse eating disorders or unhealthy body images. But – do you really believe yourself when you say “No one really cares how you look”? You certainly care how people look. Am I wrong?
Gala, i adore you. Today a bunch of guys laughed at me and called me a sumo (and at 165cm i only weigh 52kg) and another girl told me i would ridiculed by the public for my style (i love lolita, goth, and other alt. fashions). i was just about to take a handful of laxatives but this article stopped me – THANK YOU.
As a woman who battled bulimia for 10years, I can’t tell you enough just how positive this article has just made me feel. This should be published and distributed to all women in recovery and/or in the midst of the disease.
A million thank you’s!
i think your’s site class fx, lyilsecumufp.freehostia.com/di… dirty webcams little school girls, tvohvq,
This is amazing to read.
Im currently right in the middle of an eating disorder, but this gives me hope that one day i can be free without it
Thank you