First Date Etiquette
[ 13 August 2008 ]
MissElle @galadarling Sushi land of horrors. Pre-mature balding and open palm on unwelcoming knees. Escaping through BFF phonecall, no turning back.
sugaducks @galadarling the guy tried to hold my hand. with ZERO chemistry. IN public. What happened to personal space?
daynadesastre @galadarling It was so awkward it only lasted 1 date. Afterwards I found out he tried to rape my friend’s boyfriend. 140 isn’t enough …
juliettemaxwell @galadarling Worst first date, involves a movie a bad car ride and the fact that he made me touch his beard eugh!
paulgerhardt @galadarling I got hit by a car 15 minutes before the date started; then watched “Freaky Friday” (2003); that sums up the whole relationship
birdiepie @galadarling – haha got hit in the head with a kendo staff by a goofy boy, trying to impress. went home alone shortly after, v. unimpressed
expat_erin @galadarling model gorgeous Macedonian guy (19 to my 24) who would not reciprocate oral. I shamed him into doing it and then I went home.
AnnieSpandex @galadarling The only two blind dates I’ve been on have been horrible miscalculations on my friend’s part. Zero chemistry = bad first date.
msjeanneb @galadarling Went to a movie, wound up holding hands and cringing away from the screen and each other. It was all kinda lame ultimately.
ferrouswheel @galadarling: worse date, girl went home with another guy while I was stuck DJing.
evilolive @galadarling We saw the movie Psycho, and then his car broke down in the rain. Police officers drove me home. We didn’t have a second date.
flutterby3 @galadarling Old friend took me to dinner, we got along great, then in the driveway he slurped my face & tried 2 handcuff me 2 the door. 0_o
rachelhills @galadarling My worst date would have to be the one where I literally ran away from the guy at the end of it.
mary_bee @galadarling the guy was missing his two front teeth, but kept it secret until he lunged at me for a kiss. he was really good at hiding it
mary_bee @galadarling – there’s nothing like the prospect of a date who can french kiss without opening his mouth. EEEWWW!!!!
skipp @galadarling this fellow Sandy seemed nice but immature. we lay down to watch TV and he immediately started trying to dry hump me. AWKWARD.
Oh, baby. These are not pretty stories. In fact, some of them are downright horrifying. It’s evident that some people just don’t know how to make a good impression! Avoid being a cautionary tale (or terrifying anecdote) by considering the following guidelines!
Remember, none of these are hard & fast rules — obviously the hope is that you & your date connect so well that none of these things even enter your mind — but they’re good parameters!
Be on time
I wrote about this in my article on How To Ace A Job Interview, but that’s because being punctual is really important! Arriving on time & being somewhere at the time you said you’d be shows that you respect whoever you’re meeting. I’m pretty tolerant these days but people running late still makes me feel pretty miffed!
It’s all about first impressions, & if you don’t show up on time, whoever’s waiting for you is probably going to feel pretty pissed off, as well as second-rate. A couple of minutes here or there is not such a big deal, but if you’re running 15 or 30 minutes behind time, make sure you text or call to let your date know! Like I’ve said before, people’s time is valuable to them — it’s one of the few things you can’t really buy — so be courteous & keep them in the loop!
Make an effort!
Let me put this plainly: looking like you just rolled out of bed is totally unacceptable… unless of course you’re doing that tousled sex kitten thing, which, done properly, takes hours to perfect! For most people, this is not something that needs to be said, but for some… well, they might need the odd reminder. So here it is.
I mean, you’re on a date! It’s one of the most potential-laden situations of all time! Anything could happen from here. You could fall madly in love, get pregnant, decide to elope, meet your new best friend or even the best friend of your future lover! This is just one of those events that demands a little extra prep.
Even if it’s not the ideal scenario for primping & preening — say you’re going for dinner straight after work — you can still take a couple of seconds to brush your teeth, change your shoes, apply some more mascara or spritz some fragrance. After all, you never know what might happen… !
Avoid arguments
Most people go out on dates to have a good time & maybe find someone to snuggle — not to prove that they were once on the debating team! Basically, arguing with someone you’ve just met is not always the most charming thing. Yes, of course, some people have ridiculous opinions on everything under the sun, but if you can just shake that off & not take the bait, your evening will be much more pleasant & conflict-free. Staying away from subjects like politics & religion are usually a good tactic; at least on the first date.
Having said that, it all depends on what you’re there for. If you’re just looking for someone to sleep with, then knowing their political stance on tuna fishing is probably not that important. But if you’re a strict Catholic & you’re on the market for a relationship, you’re probably not going to be too amped if your date digs human sacrifice. Do it your own way, but proceed with caution!
Be charming & positive
Even if you just had the world’s worst week, think back to your last Things I Love Thursday list (wink wink!) &, well, in the words of Monty Python, look on the bright side of life! There’s nothing worse than being held hostage by someone who only wants to whinge & moan — while conversely, there’s nothing more fabulous than spending time with someone who is in love with life! That kind of energy is infectious… in a good way!
So turn it on & be happy. Remember that you’re trying to make the best possible impression — which probably means that angsting about your job is out!
Don’t talk about your ex
I would take it a step further from this & say that talking about relationships at all on the first date is pretty much a no-go. No one is deluded enough to think you don’t have a history, but it doesn’t need to be raised immediately. After all, if the first thing you talk about is your ex, whoever you’re with is going to conclude that your last relationship is still pretty close to the surface — & no one wants to be a rebound!
I think the truth is that no one ever really wants to hear about who came before them. It’s just a bit uncomfortable. It’s all too easy to start that ugly cycle of comparing yourself with them, & that never ends well. So do your date a favour, & keep your mouth shut on the subject.
Ask about the other person
A perennial truth: Everyone’s favourite thing to talk about is themselves! While this fact might initially make you feel slightly down in the mouth, recognise it for the blessing it is. It means that you never have to worry about being boring or fossicking around to come up with conversation — just ask about them! That’s it! That’s all you have to do! Ask them questions & take an interest. They will come away from the conversation thinking you are the most scintillating date ever. (Good trick, huh?!)
Hopefully they will ask about you too, but if they don’t, you’ll know they’re probably not worth seeing again!
Keep it clean
...Unless you’re absolutely certain they’re receptive to an in-depth discussion of your nun fetish or your penchant for telling filthy jokes! Most people don’t swear like pirates, & you might offend them if you do.
Although honestly, the more I think about it, the more controversial this point seems. I mean, if you love to curse your head off, or if you’re nothing without your collection of Japanese pornography (& if your partner not being able to cope with that is a deal-breaker), maybe it would be good for you to lay your cards on the table at the very start. Again, it all depends on what you’re looking for, & maybe how kinky whatever you’re considering sharing is!
Don’t criticise
I’ll keep this one simple: you’re not their mother, & they’re probably not interested in your opinion. Sweet! Let’s move on!
Respect their personal space!
This one is really important, & mostly it comes down to understanding social cues. If you’re not very good at guessing how people are feeling, now’s the time to learn! Go to the library & get out some books on body language as a starting point. Really though, what this means is that if you can accurately interpret other people’s behaviour, you hopefully won’t end up in one of those scary situations above — like totally-inappropriate-dry-humping or no-chemistry-hand-holding-in-public!
Drop the phone, buster
Okay, I know this is kind of controversial because a lot of us are in pretty unhealthy, codependent relationships with our phones. I don’t care about mine so much in New Zealand, but in America, where I could text for free, check my email & look at my site, I was chronic. It would have been embarrassing if I was more self-conscious. Anyway, my point is, the person you’re sitting with — who I’m assuming you have only recently met — is not going to feel too fabulous if you seem more intrigued by whoever is on the other side of your screen. Once you know each other a little bit, you can relax, send text messages & take phone calls, but honestly, if you’re on your phone all the way through the date, recognise that it’s probably not going to win you any popularity contests.
Really, it’s all about being in the moment. Sharing that with someone is one of the best gifts you can give them. But of course, the key lies in being in the moment with the person on the other side of the table, not your friend in Minnesota!
Now, the perennial question. Should you sleep with them on the first date?
I tend to think that it kind of takes the fun out of things. This has nothing to do with that old saying of “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” — which I think is sad — but really it’s more about the suspense & anticipation of finally sleeping with someone when you’ve been wanting to for ages! (Ages like… the second date. I kid, I kid!) It’s so much more fun that way, plus you get the thrill of the chase. Psychological titillation! There’s nothing like it for a good time!
What do you think?
Best of luck in your dating endeavours! I hope you end up like the couple above — dancing, smiling & wearing silly hats!
Love letters & feather headdresses,
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I had a first date that included a bell tower apartment, nazi memorabilia and phenomenally BAD oral sex. Needless to say, it was our last, too! haha
Long time listener, first time caller ;)
Wow those horror stories are pretty awful… I did once go on a date with a guy who was the “strong and silent” type. He’d say “Hi, how are you” and then NOTHING else. It was SO awkward trying to carry on a conversation…
Luckily I
whops, i’ve never been on a blind date or whatever. my bf was (and still is) my best friend, the last guy was a friend too..and the other one too…that sums up xD! Does kissing random guys on a disco count as a date? (lol?)
i agree with you with the sex part though. i could have even wait MORE than I did with my bf to do it! I think the waiting is awesome! The other tips are, to me, common sense xD
thanks for the cool article, it made me laugh :) kisses!
DO NOT DO IT on the first night ladies. Wow. BIG big no NO. That’s why we have our little box of FUN under our bed. Some girls think that doing it the first night is the only way to get boys to stay. I say, it’s a great way to sort through all the jack-asses of the world. If a guy is patient enough to wait, he can POSSIBLY be a keeper, other things considered. Once you get sexually involved, all the other really important things get fuzzy. It’s harder to see red flags because your hormones are always getting in the way. Get a clear picture first. If you think he is worth it, make him get tested. If that comes back ok, then I say go for the GOLD!
Cheers!
P.Hobbs
Not a first date story, but a date story nonetheless.
Was in a long distance relationship at the time, with a guy in Sydney. (I grew up in Sydney and had moved to Melbourne a few months earlier for uni)
I was visiting Sydney for a week and staying with my family and having a miserable time. I’d do anything to get out of the house. (Going from living on my own to being surrounded by people asking what I was doing drove me up the wall!)
He arranged a date with me and was going to meet me at my parent’s place at lunchtime and take me out somewhere.
Lunchtime came, nothing.
At 2pm I rang him, wondering if he had a different idea of when lunchtime was. He didn’t answer the phone.
4pm he calls me and says he’ll be over later. He’d been at the movies with friends, which is why he didn’t answer the phone. He was going to an art gallery after getting off the phone and after that, he’d come over.
I angrily told him not to bother as I was obviously too much trouble.
He told me not to be silly and I was his girlfriend and therefore, not too much trouble.
6pm he texts me and says he’s too tired to come over and would see me later.
Needless to say, we broke up the next day – and THAT is a whole other disaster story.
I like this article…i am like the queen of first dates i go on soo bloody many but thank god none of mine have been as horrific as the ones listed at the top!!
My rule which is more like a lesson learnt after many years is never never sleep with them on the first date. Chances are if thats all they want they wont really stick around after that.
Also how can anyone get to know you if the first thing you do is jump in teh sack. Chances are they will think you do that with every guy/girl.
Anyway thats my thoughts but great article Gala – totally appropriate!!
Sx.
Worst first date – he talked about himself the entire time! Including about dates he’d been on recently – one in which the girl had come home with him and then “assumed that that we were together just because we’d had sex”... awkward! I could not wait to get out of there, especially seeing I think I said about ten words the entire time.
I think there’s a difference that depends on what you’re looking for… if you’re looking for a short-term “mini-ship” then by all means, go ahead and jump in bed. If you’re looking for something a little more long-lasting, then what’s the rush?
I agree with the idea of not sleeping on the first date.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost four months now, and we still haven’t done the nasty.
But this is because we are still in highschool and I feel that is one bit I want to keep till I am out and free.=] So in a few years, if we are still together, we’ll consider it =]. I think, if we last that long (fingers crossed, right?) that it’ll be extra special, all that waiting ;)
Love the twitter stories. :) Thanks for posting them!
Sleeping on the first date? Sure—unless you want a boyfriend. It cuts the chances. If the guy invests time in getting to sleep with you, he’ll get to know you too, and fall madly in love of course. Of course!
Patty Duke Show dating advice: “If you can’t think of anything to say, just smile!”
I thought we had a chance lady, No more, Now that I’m sober you ain’t that fine..
sleeping together on the first date kills the mystery!
also one of the most important rules of a first date: never ever go to the movies.
Fantastic, super funny article!! Some of those stories are enough to make me want to run to a convent :P
Personally I’d never ever sleep with someone on the first date. It takes away the fun, makes things complicated too early, and just isn’t something I want to do with someone I barely know.
My advice is to not go on a date if you’re feeling ridiculously hungover! I went on one last Xmas and had to ask my date to pull over so that I could throw up – how horrific!
(Hellooo from a first-time commenter!)
I really liked this article, and found myself both laughing and cringing at those awful first date stories! :P
I think that another obvious, yet important, thing to remember on a first date is to just be genuine and be yourself (well, the best version of yourself, of course). When I’ve feel the need to play a role or alter my personality to “keep up” with someone else, it’s never been worth it. The awesome people in life will like you for who you are! On the first date with my boyfriend I felt comfortable and relaxed and myself, and it was really refreshing.
Also, I don’t like the idea of sleeping with someone on the first date at all. Then again, I’m sure it’s worked for some people, so who am I to judge?
I had a guy leave because I wouldn’t sleep with him on our second date. Big, big loss. really. lol
I kind of miss dating now that I have a boyfriend, but then I read horror stories like these and remember that dating wasn’t actually that good – I had a lot more success finding partners through group dates or dinner parties. My boyfriend now has been my best friend for nearly 10 years.
Tip to remember: Sleep with them ONLY when you know they’ll still respect you in the morning. If it takes 3 dates or 3 years it’ll be worth the wait.
Actually after 3 years of wait you’d want them to be good or easily taught…
....Mine, which I only got to briefly mention above in the small space of 140 words, was awful, mostly due to what happened afterwards. Our first date was at a theme park and he (lets call him C.) kept grabbing my ass and trying to shove his tongue down my throat the entire time. He was a total creep, so I “broke up” with him the next day (as if you can call it breaking up… we had only met twice and we were set up by a friend. We were barely even together.) A few months later I find out that C. was at my friend’s boyfriends house and tried to rape the boyfriend as he slept… the boyfriend woke up to find C. touching him, well, you know where. Thank god I realized how creepy C. was on date one. Ugh!
My BEST first date however was lovely… we met online and our first date in person involved a picnic, a trip to a museum of oddities and kissing in the children’s section of an independent bookstore. He was charming and attentive and didn’t try to fucking rape me… in other words, he was a total gentleman! We’re still dating today and we’re about to celebrate our six month. I love my Ewan. :3
Another first time commenter here! Looks like we’re all coming out of the woodwork.
I have to admit that I had absolutely no patience and slept with my current boyfriend on our first date. Thankfully we are still going strong and very much in love a year and half later. But I certainly wouldn’t recommend it to anyone else! I’ve had a few bad experiences in the past and a lot of my friends have as well. I know I’m an extremely luckily girl and that most guys don’t stick around. My advice would definitely be to wait at least for a couple dates till you know a bit more about them and you can (possibly) judge where things are going….
Wow, you’ve really got dating on the brain at the moment, haven’t you Gala? ;)
Seriously though – great post. Even if it does make me think twice about using my full name on Twitter. I think you’ve especially hit the nail on the head with the bit about needing to read other people’s signals correctly. That’s much of the reason I “ran away” from the dude I mention above (that, and running away being classic Rachel behaviour) – he was coming on too strong and paying no heed to the fact that I was just figuring out if I liked him or not, not raring for a makeout session. Much like MissElle, sugaducks and skipp.
Let’s hope he never reads this. :p
How has no one mentioned that the author of that pink book’s name is “Gay Head?” I’m not thirteen, but it still made me laugh my ass off.
As for the worst first date ever … it was in high school and this guy (that I liked SO MUCH I WANTED TO DIE) had just finished football practice, and didn’t have the time to shower but did have the time to eat garlic/onion salsa. But I suffered through it because he was popular and had great pecs. Not worth it.
Putting down the iPhone can me tough. It’s just so damn sexy. Sometimes it can be a toss up between my phone and my date!!!! :P LOL
Great advice! and those are some REALLY bad dates… O.o
Gala (or fellow readers ;D), do you know anywhere in Auckland that is good with hair dye? I’ve been thinking about getting some blue or purple streaks for a while, but there is just no where I know of.
HELP?!
Well, I slept with my boyfriend on the first “date” (which wasn’t a really a date, more like a chance encounter at a concert, we instantly connected). I thought it would just be a one-night stand and I was happy with that. And now he’s been my boyfriend of three years and we live together. So… there really are no rules I guess, and you should do things because you WANT to, not because you feel that you should or shouldn’t do them!
I slept with my boyfriend on the first date, too. We’re still together and it’s awesome.
I think not having sex on the first date is not going to turn a jerk into a reasonable guy. Woah double negatives much? And having sex on the first date won’t turn off that right guy either. Hmm did that make sense? At least I know what I mean..
Two words: Gay Head. HAHA! Okay, I’ll stop being immature now.
Um… great article! Even though I’m in a long-term relationship and not in the dating game, it was an interesting read!
I say wait till later for the a lot of physical relations.
For me it is confusing when i first like someone. I often realize that it’s just my body telling me our makeouts were really great…
I really enjoyed this one. I REALLY agree with the ‘be on time’ and ‘put down the phone’ because they’re SO simple and you really lose a lot of points if you eff these up (at least with me).
no twitter account, but I’d like share my horror story:
J. Bell @ galadarling a double blind date to The Ring II, with the worst part being the other girl: “hold his hand! lay on him! c’monnn, have some fun!”
My worst first date included a boy asking me to let him put the tip in. hahaha I never spoke with him ever again.
Don’t sleep together on the first date if it is something that might be serious. Unless you are going for the one night stand thing.
Personally, I would never sleep with a guy on the first date… given, I am still a virgin (at 19!), but I’m dating a 24 year old now. We aren’t “official” yet, he expressed interest in having “The Talk” but we had to take care of our drunk friend and ended up forgetting about it. I dated a guy for just under 2 years and didn’t give it up to him either. I’m thinking I am finally ready, but don’t want to do it until I know that we are going to be with each other for quite a while. Just seeing where school and work takes us in the fall…
He took me out for lunch in Covent Garden, which was cool, and we split the bill which was great. But he then chose a cheesey garlic filled burger, and, as you can imagine, he smelled so bad! I had to force myself to kiss him afterwards! Needless to say it didn’t last…
I’ve had lots of froggie dates, that’s for sure, like: the guy that rang me up after I had had a LONG relationship wih a well known and popular guy to go out on a date with me. So I did. He brought booze, he made sure I drank plenty (I faked it lol), and then when I spilt it on my jeans (and down you know where) he felt obliged to “check” where it went. It was clear that he assumed that because I’d been with this other guy for 2 years (as an under 16 yo) that I MUST have slept with him! So I made sure we didn’t hook up again.
I’ve also dated a guy 10 years older (when I was 17) who ASKED me to teach him how to have sex. He thought it was ok to make a LUNGE for the “necessary parts” when there wasn’t anything particularly romantic going on. Weird.
As for sleeping with a guy on a first date: consider WHY you want to go out with a guy. Are you wanting a long term friendship/relationship, or are you happy with casual sex? You might get the latter instead of the former if that’s what you REALLY wanted. Get to know what you WANT and don’t settle for LESS. First date ‘aint enough time to be certain what’s what.
Oh wow, that’s a lot of date horror. How can people believe that these behaviours are appropriate? Yeek!
I’d never gone on a Date until I was 24, after 5 years of serial monogamy I needed to indulge in a Trampage. So I hit up Craigslist and was off on a whirlwind tour of the boys of New York City. Oy Vey! Bad dates galore, boys showing up wearing tacky, sexist t-shirts, boys who kiss like they’re trying to consume your head, boys who just lie lie lie about themselves (Sweetheart, you are not “6’ and average build” if you’re eye to eye with me and have bigger boobs than I do! I don’t mind shorter and I don’t mind chubby, just be honest!), boys who get falling down drunk on you, boys who pay for everything but in an uncouth and possesive way…
But also some fantstic first dates, NYC Fringe Fest production of a musical based on the songs of Oingo Boingo, Mai Tais and dancing at a tiki bar, a concert on a boat, just wandering the city, drinking champagne from a bag, making out in a mosh pit and having the most amazing bruises to show for it…
I actually remained friends with almost every one of those people that I slept with on the first date. Looking back though, I didn’t sleep with any of my LTRs immediately. My current boyfriend (and the boy before him as well) and I knew each other for a month before we even kissed. Ah well, I guess this one is just different for everyone.
Eliza – Oh how I wish it were that kind of a tip ;] The boy didn’t even have the decency to buy me dinner first either! He was a real creep and a half.
The rules about when to sleep with someone really wind me up. Personally I love the chase. But if I felt like I just wanted to go for it and sleep with them I would.
Rules Schmules. If he’ll ditch you for sleeping with him on the first date then he’s a massive hypocrite and not worth your time anyway.
I agree with Joanne, I think you should just go with what you feel is right— after all, you live once. I’m not suggesting you should sleep with someone after a first date, but rather if you feel it’s right, then go for it.
Also: my first date story from hell includes a boy who told me his entire history of depression & questioning his sexuality over dinner. I was sympathetic, but it kind of killed the mood.
Oy gevalt. All these stories make me cringe. And grateful I was never much of a dater – I just dove right into ALL my relationships.
For me, sleeping with someone is all about the connection you feel. If it’s strong enough, if you feel like it’s right, then why not? If the other person ends it because of your decision to sleep together, or your decision not to, THEIR priorities are clearly skewed. You’re better off moving on. My opinion anyway …
Visiting a friend in the British midlands, I totally hit it off with a friend of hers and, many hours of dancing later, ended up scrambling around for a condom. Even though we ended up dating long distance for months after, I have no regrets. That was a moment that needed to be seized!
Good advice Gala! I should send this to a few of my friends; They can’t seem to hold down a relationship for more than a week.
Am I one of the only people who has had a good first date?
My first date involved me and my now boyfriend playing video games on his old school Nitendo, then going to see the remake of Halloween. We arrived to the theatre an hour early so we went to the bookstore next door and went on other sides of the store to look at a book we both wanted but somehow both picked up the exact same book. Then we talked about other things and realized we have a lot in common with our personality and interests but not in appearance…at all.
Then we went to go see the movie and agreed the original was better and afterwards I hugged him, which he was ecstatic about because he heard from our other friend that I am one of the most non-affectionate people out there and I hate giving anyone hugs.
I didn’t kiss him until a week later and didn’t have sex until 3 months later and a year later we are still together. Wee :D
If a guy won’t reciprocate oral sex (I’m female) is he worth my trouble? Haha! Decisions, decisions!
Hhmm. Well I agree with Sal, if you have a mind blowing connection with someone then there’s nothing wrong with sex on a first date/meeting. I once waited for a very long and frustrating month for a man to sleep with me and when he finally did he was so nervous I wished I hadn’t bothered! Sometimes life is too short for waiting ;) Xxxxx
Oh man, I wish I could’ve seen this tweet when it was live. I wouldn’t know where to begin. Maybe the bad breath, attempt at hand holding, the cheapness, the smelly hair.
Need I go on?
Eww.
I’ve been lurking your fabulous blog for a long time and now I feel compelled to comment :}
I’ve had two bad first dates. This one is perhaps the most shocking, yet comical: We went out for sushi and made typical introductory conversations. I thought it went okay – no major sparks, but not a dud, either. At the end of the date, he tells me that he liked talking to me but I’m not his type because I was “too heavy.” *
I didn’t really say anything because I was too dumbfounded. I think I said something along the lines of, “Too bad, hope you find what you’re looking for.” I was hurt but I didn’t beat myself up about it because even though I was pretty curvy at the time, I looked good and carried it well.
Three weeks later the idiot boy called me and asked if I wanted to meet up for drink. I not-so-nicely told him to screw himself.
* At the time of this date, I was 30 lbs heavier than I am now. But, you don’t say that someone. And I’m the exact same person now than I was then, just with smaller hips. ;]
I agree with Sal and Joanne – the question of sleeping with someone on the first date varies.
For me it was overly thought out but I slept with my husband on our first date. And we’ve been married 12 years. So, it worked out.
Of course, if I had never seen him again it would be a different story.
I used to much prefer staying home and reading a good book to going out on crappy first dates. Glad to see that hasn’t changed much.
Luv
Poochie
I know that it wouldn’t usually be right to sleep with someone after the first date but I’ve done it (mind you, I hadn’t been with anybody for 3 years prior. How did I do it? That’s another story! ) and I’ve been with him for 2 years on Tuesday. I had communicated (on the internet) with him for more than a month before we actually first met went on our first date. I took a guess that he wouldn’t be the type to disrespect me after that and I was right :)
Oh and my worst first date. I had made out with a friend’s friend at a bar while I was totally not sober! The next day I couldn’t remember anything of him and my friend suggested that we go on a double date (her & the man she was eyeing, me and her friend) When I saw him at the cinema, I thought he was so not my type. But I decided to give him a shot for the rest of the night. He was loud, weird behaviors like running after cars, immature, tried to hold my hand while watching the movie, got pissed when I didn’t want to hold his hand. After the movie we parted ways and he called my friend crying, claiming he loved me and couldn’t live without me. Definitely the worst date.
Bwahahaha! What a great question! I was laughing out loud thinking of someone I know who had a date with some Neanderthal guy who instead of displaying his masculinity by beating his chest, beat a car up!
altamiranyc — AHAAHAHAHAH!!! I read your comment with my mouth full & laughed so hard I started drooling on myself! HOT! PERFECT MATCH!
Eliza – Oh, no worries. That story made many of my friends laugh until they cried.
Stephanie – How horrible of that guy to say that to you! One of my lovely exes once told me he couldn’t date me again (I broke up with him after a week because he had a horrible temper, but in a momentary lapse of judgment, I thought we should give it another shot) because I was a bit too big for him. Apparently being a curvy, 125-pound, 5’2 girl is “too big” hah!
Those date stories are hilarious when pared down to very few characters.
My worst first date isn’t really a horror story . . . I went out with a very sweet boy when I wasn’t yet over my ex. He brought me flowers (sweet, but awkward on the first date when you still don’t know how interested you are, and in my opinion kind of a generic thing to do unless you
knowthey love flowers) and got uncomfortable when I wanted to buy my own dinner, and started talking about how shallow he thought casual sex was (even though when we’d met at a party a week before I’d been telling the story of my last ridiculous one-night stand.) Needless to say, we were not a good match. We opted to hang out as friends instead.I’ll have sex on the first date if I want to. I don’t just mean “I’m horny and they’re there” want to, though — my “rule” for myself (cemented after a couple of lackluster experiences) is to only have sex when I want it at that time, with that person, under those circumstances. So if the chemistry is good and I like and respect them and feel that they like and respect me, first-date sex is cool with me, although it can also be fun to build up a little anticipation first. :)
Very funny stories.
nope, don’t sleep on the first date if you want a steady relationship. If sex is all the guy wants, he’s not going to stay. Let him get to know you first! My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost four months, and he totally understand why I want to wait (I am in high school!) And i really really love him, but there are responsibilities :).
The only really bad date I’ve ever had was in the tenth grade. The guy took me to dinner and a movie. The whole time he talked about his parents’ fights and his “best friend Kira” and tried to describe in detail his anime drawings. At the end of the night he presented to me a necklace with a charm in the shape of an axe. Apparently it was some Celtic symbol meaning something or another, but it looked pretty Satanic to me. I dumped him after that, and a while later I found out he was gay the whole time. Talk about weird.
My most recent date went much better. The guy was a teacher at a theatre camp over the summer, and we went to his kids’ talent show. They all loved him, and pulled him up onto stage at the end. Then, we ate a big messy pizza at Pizza Hut and cuddled up in the back of the movie theatre. At the end of the night we ended up kissing extensively on my doorstep (I was locked out) – a total cliche, but completely awesome. We haven’t been out since (that was in June, and we haven’t spoken since July), but at least that one night was memorable.
This is perfect but a little late ;)!! Only one month ago, I went on a first date. I combed the internet for advice and what to wear! I shat mnyself the entire week before thinking of all the disasters that could happen. What if we had nothing to talk about? What if he tried to hold my hand? And needless to say, the whole law of attraction thing, it went terribly! He complained of being tired the whole night, we ate a yiros??!! Yeah great first date food NOT! And when I dropped him home, he said ‘I guess I’ll speak to you on the weekend’ And just as he said that, I knew I would never hear from him again! Hahaha nearly 6 weeks later, I still haven’t heard from him. I’m glad I have this to read for the next first date! xx