Gala's Kissing Boot-Camp
[ 1 June 2007 ]
This is perhaps the weirdest video I’ve ever seen.
“Now, I was wondering, if, in the near future (or whenever future) you could help out some girls in the kissing department. I’m extremely inexperienced at kissing (going to a Catholic Girls Prep does that to you). Also, I’ve been plagued by recent nightmares of being told by my guy that I kiss like a fish. Please, help me Gala with your wisdom!”
Anyone who says something like that to you isn’t worth your time, honeypie! Give him the boot & then use my tips on your next boyfriend! ;D
The best thing about kissing is that it’s a lot of fun, & you will get better with practice. First of all, you need Kissable Lips — click that for information on scrubs, lip balms, glosses & lipsticks, as well as product recommendations & tricks! Anyway, it is my firm belief that the best kisses are a combination of things: soft lips, small amounts of tongue, good reactions & very little saliva!
Lips
For me, it is mostly about the lips. Some people have hard little mouths, you know, from years of anger or grimacing, & it’s totally unappealing. If you can learn to relax your mouth, you will go far. If this is difficult for you, just imagine that a bee has stung the hell out of your mouth & let it slacken that way.
Tongue
It drives me crazy (& not in a good way!) when someone comes in to kiss you with their tongue straight away. I think you have to work up to that, unless it’s already an insanely passionate moment. Too much tongue is a major moodkiller for me. Also, keep your tongue supple & soft. It’s tricky, because there is a fine line between having a stiff, pointy tongue (ew! It’s like a medical examination!) & having one that lies flat in the other person’s mouth, like a omelette that failed. Ewwwwww. Keep it soft & pliable.
Reactions
It is hard to explain exactly how to kiss someone, since because it’s an activity that requires a partner, what you do will depend on what the other person is doing. Basically, you want to respond in a way that coordinates with what they’re doing. This doesn’t mean do the same thing, or even the opposite, but just try to work with them as much as possible. If, say, they’re nibbling your bottom lip, don’t try & chew on their bottom lip at the same time, it won’t work! Maybe try licking their upper lip while they do this, for example.
Saliva
How much is too much? If you have to ask, you’re probably using too much. No one wants to feel like they’re on Splash Mountain when they’re kissing you! On the flipside, a dry mouth is very unappealing. Wetting your lips quickly with your tongue is best to start with.
Places & positions
I’m quite small so I like to crawl into people’s laps & sit opposite them. This way they are TRAPPED & can’t escape until my lips are satisfied! I am sneaky like that. My first kiss was in a very weird position, I was lying on my back with my head in my boyfriend’s lap & he leaned over & kissed me, so we were kind of… upside down. It was strange! I like to pass the time by kissing in elevators. I also think it’s pretty great to kiss in a weird place, like on a fire escape, in a playground, in the back seat of a car or up a tree, but everyone is different!
“When I kiss ya, ya stay kissed!”
Men
You will do best, in my opinion, if you think like a woman while kissing — soft, delicate & sexy. You can prove your manliness all over the place but not when you’re kissing someone! Additionally, if you think you might be getting some action, please shave your face! Stubble hurts, you know.
Additional tips:
Mouths aren’t the only places you can kiss someone. Try kissing their earlobes (but hold back on the heavy breathing!), their neck or shoulders. (I like rubbing noses sometimes, it’s very intimate & a good precursor to kissing.)
Try (gently) licking the corners of your lover’s mouth. Super-hot.
Kissing is a sloooow activity. It is not a race or a chore! Take your time, enjoy it, be gentle with one another.
You’re in control! If you start to feel uncomfortable or you want to stop, just do it. You are under no obligation to go any further than you already have.
Remember to breathe. Fainting is kind of sexy in the movies, but in real life, not so much.
Move your arms! You can stroke their hair, the sides of their face, their back, their arms or even their booty! Moving your arms will show that you’re really interested & into it. If you don’t move them, the kiss will be more awkward.
Try not to bump teeth. If it happens, just forget about it & move on. The more kissing you do, the more aware of your mouth you will become & soon that problem will be one of the past.
Close your eyes. Or don’t. It is all personal preference… I get freaked out if someone is looking at me while I’m kissing them, but that’s just me.
Move your tongue gently, stroke it against theirs & run it along their lips. Try not to swirl it like a washing machine, or jab it in & out.
Be proactive! Be involved & interested & an active participant.
Questions & Answers
Q: I have a big nose. I don’t want to stab my girlfriend in the eye by mistake. Whatever shall I do?
A: Tilt your head! She will probably tilt hers too, in the opposite direction, & it will all work out brilliantly.
Q: I have a really short tongue & I don’t think it will reach into someone else’s mouth!
A: Hey, me too! What a coincidence. It’s not the end of the world. You might just have to work it a little differently to other people. Practice, baby!
Q: What are the rules on eating garlic/onions/curry/haggis before a smoochfest?
A: Generally avoid it, unless your beloved has partaken of the smelly foods too. Two people with garlic-breath probably won’t even notice it in the other person. (Plus, it’s good protection against vampires.)
Extra For Experts:
“How To Kiss Someone Passionately”
Girls kissing
Emo boys kissing (It’s a fan video or something, so weird)
This looks like an alien life-form but I guess it’s informative, kind of?!
How To Kiss A Woman with lots of fear-inducing anecdotes!
Insanely cute sex writer Violet Blue has this to say on more intimate types of kissing… NSFW!
Super-love & cupcakes,
Gala
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Ha, that video made my night (and made me miss my boyfirend, who is touring a play on another continet).
Some more advice: for me, kissing is all about the exploration. So every time I kiss my boy, I think of it as if I’ve never kissed him before, so it’s a new exploration. That could be just my actor-sense talking, but hey! It works. So don’t be worried about getting it “right”: just explore and try to enjoy yourself. Because if you’re having fun, the other person probably is too.
Hahaha, this makes me think about my first kiss. It was with a rather over-enthusiastic boy whose mantra seemed to be “More tongue, more saliva! More tongue, more saliva!” Not very nice. :P
Oh Gala, you are OFFICIALLY my fairy-godmother.
One other great thing to do (sparingly) while kissing is to run your tongue over the top teeth along the gums.
I told a guy this once and he did it constantly, which ruined it. Once is enough, maybe twice, far far apart.
It feels SO good!
I love this article almost as much as I love kissing. As I’ve been with my boyfriend for quite a while now, we’re hitting that lamentable stage of lessened kissing, you know, the one where you don’t kiss much and skip straight to the point, if you know what I mean (How’s that for a run-on sentence?). Because I love to kiss so much, lately I’ve just been telling him to kiss me exactly at the moment when I feel like kissing. It seems to be working.
And I feel your pain on the short tongue thing!
I love this post!! I had my first kiss earlier this year, and frankly was scared out of my wits! I had no clue what the heck to do! Thankfully though, I survived and must have pulled it off like a pro (didn’t even warn him that I had never kissed anyone… lol); he said I was a really sexy kisser. lmao!
Great tips… there are a few I’m sure I’ll employ on my unsuspecting boyfriend this weekend! lol!! :D
first time commenting although I have been stalking you for a long long time :-D
I LOVE sloppy kisses and a lot of sexy soft tongue action!
hehe – i LOVE kissing in elevators!
i don’t know about the rest of you but kissing in the rain is awesome, too.
That video totally made me feel like I was tripping on acid! :O Haha. But the kissing tips got me pumped up to go practice…! :]
PS! I mailed you a little letter. It will take a while coming from the states, but it’s on its way!
Aunty Gala,
It’s been too long! (My apologies…) Pooch and I love this article but we have to add that it’s just like eating an icecream! You know… you devour it mouthful by mouthful….
Yum yum.
Oh, and for kissable lips – I love Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream (because it’s like honey) but Palmer’s Cocoa Butter lip balm in a tube is the best value, best smelling, best ever lip treatment! And Pooch is getting into Trilogy’s Everything Balm!
Hey… I love your blog and your quirky style!!
I’ve read a bunch of advice you gave and was wondering if you could apply your great wisdom to my case too. I love fashion and style, and I wish I could muster the courage to wear some really cool attention grabbing outfit… I am in tenth grade and wear a long (floor length) denim skirt with a black T-shirt just about every day.
I have to abide by some rather strict religious rules with regard to dress – not just at school, everywhere. (The rules: no pants, nothing tight or revealing, shirts up to the collar bone and past the elbows, absolutely no exposed midriff, skirts past the knee, no visible underwear, nothing transparent or too sexy in general.)
I was wondering if you could help me get out of my rut, or if I should just resort to wearing a burka. I would be eternally grateful…
Love
Kissing is my all time favorite activity! Well, right after sleeping, eating, cuddling, and sex. It’s up there, anyway.
This is going to sound AWFUL- but kissing with lots of lip sucking and nibbling is the absolute most amazing thing in the entire world when you’re on ecstacy. Not that I’d know or anything… hah
Oooh, I’m SUPER excited to see what Gala could do with fatedtobehated’s conundrum!
Or maybe this post was just an excuse to use the word “conundrum,” or maybe a little bit of both.
:D
(Oh, and how depressing is this – I won’t be kissed for the next 27 days because my boyfriend is out of town, and although my kitten sometimes licks my face, I don’t think that counts.)
Kissing ALWAYS gives me butterflies – I love it to bits and it is certainly more intimate than sex in my opinion. Anyway, this is a very good guide and one which men should read. Kissing is a two way street and you should put in what you want to get out so to speak.
As a sax player, I am lucky to have expert control over my mouth in order to achieve a desired effect (my pianist’s fingers help in other departments) but if you’re not trained up in the mouth department, there is nothing wrong with a bit of practicing by yourself by kissing an egg. Simply lock your lips around a hard boiled egg and you should be able to practice tongue movements whilst the egg is in position. Once you’ve mastered your mouth shape and tongue, you’ll have the most killer of kisses…
Also, there is nothing quite as sexy as kissing other parts of the body as described… the ultimate place for kissing other than the obvious places are the hipbones if they’re pronounced enough… goodness, thinking about kissing hipbones is turning me on right now so better stop thinking about it…
Kiss with your eyes open once in a while, and use the moment to learn more about your partner’s eyes. Use the moment to drown even deeper in love with their eyes and let them look deep inside your soul, the soul that loves them totally, implicitly and with wholehearted strength.
UGH kissing rules!!!
I miss kissing! I haven’t kissed anyone since 2005 :(
my boyfriend sometimes tends to be use too much tongue xD I usually point it…he’s a good kisser anyways :p
we an awesome rule; if one of us eats a smelly food, the other one has to eat it too. a great way to enjoy food AND smooching!
kissing is such a great thing :)
When I kiss, I do what has been called “slow motion” kissing.
You start normally, but mid-to-end of the kiss linger on their lips.
Now when I say that, I mean each time you open and close your mouth. Not for the duration of the pash itself.
This works best if done every second or third movement, and gives you a chance to take a breath or move into a different position.
Like taking a bite out of an apple and not chewing it. just leaving it in your mouth for a bit before taking another bite.
Its so fun and feels super intimate/lovey.
Enjoy!
i have been told that someone elses saliva stays in your mouth for up to 3 months !
So i was wondering..
what foods/drinks should you avoid before kissing?
Im going on a date next week and i always buy coffee and i started thinking about how this must taste.
Please help! I dont want him to think i have bad breath!
i have to admit, i acquired (what a funny word) my first kiss just last night and can’t stop replaying it over and over in my head. it was both mine and my accomplice’s first time, so it was just a tad less-stressful seeing as neither of us knew what to do.
of course, this morning, i immediately thought to come here and see what you had to say!
and believe me, i plan on trying this out soon!