How To Practice Major Mega Supreme Body Love... Daily!
[ 3 March 2010 ]
Stop buying & reading magazines or websites which talk about weight or speculate as to which celebrity has an eating disorder. It doesn’t matter whether the comments are “Dude she needs a cheeseburger” or “Ugh if I looked like that I wouldn’t leave the house”, IT AIN’T HELPING! All it does is foster judgment of ourselves & others, neither of which EVER lead to anything positive! Evaluating other people’s bodies is so dangerous & destructive! Let’s learn to stop doing it. Let’s help one another stop doing it. Let’s learn to see the beauty in other people instead.
Learn to use your body in a new way. Take a sex course or trapeze lessons. Wake yourself up to the myriad of ways in which you can surprise yourself…
Take a life drawing class. (Dr Sketchy’s Anti Art School is my favourite!) You’ll develop an appreciation for different types of bodies, which might just make you love your own a little bit more.
Throw away your scales. For real. Why do you need them? Baby, you don’t.
Make posters for your house which say, “I am a beautiful person & I have a gorgeous body”. Thanks so much, @JennaKarl!
Look at yourself naked in the mirror — often. Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Look in the mirror & say out loud that you love yourself, or give yourself compliments — even if it makes you feel stupid or embarrassed. Trust me, that will change! You just have to do it often!
Tell your friends, & even complete strangers, how beautiful they are. Everyone wants to hear it & we so seldom do!
Start to view food as fuel as opposed to some kind of enemy. Get educated about what you’re eating. Learn about additives & high-fructose corn syrup & find out what you are really putting into your body. More importantly, learn what it does to your body — from the physical to the psychological effects. Knowledge is power!
“Your bit about how you think of food as pure fuel for your body, wow. I’ve always been overweight. My whole family is into the fatty southern cooking and all… Well I’m now doing much better about how I eat and what I put into my body, I feel so energized.” — C.M.
Drink more water! As well as being amazing for your skin & your insides, we often think we’re hungry when we’re actually really dehydrated. If you’re a compulsive snacker, making the switch to water can make a huge difference.
Whenever you have a negative thought about your body, run these four questions through your mind:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
Byron Katie developed this powerful set of questions — you can learn more about them & her technique here! (I only just found out about it & am really excited to get into it some more!)
Realise that wanting to look like a Hollywood starlet is a very narrow & Western ideal. Hollywood is not everything, & that version of “beauty” isn’t beautiful to a lot of cultures. Don’t be afraid to be different! Breaking the mold is how you get things done…
Move your body… regularly. No matter how unfit you think you are. I had my first session with a personal trainer last week, & the amount of exercise I did before having to go to the bathroom to dry retch was laughable. As embarrassed as I was — & trust me, I was mortified — I took it as a sign that THE TIME HAS COME. I’m 26 & my body thinks I’m 70. When I went back a couple of days later, I had a great time! Seriously, if I can do this, you can too. I am the least athletic person ever. (It was compulsory to do sport at my school, so I formed a croquet team. That is how not-athletic I am.) Turn a corner. Make a promise to yourself that you will give your body what it needs, not just what it thinks it wants! You are worth it!
Learn to accept yourself as you are. Your nose, the crinkle in your forehead, the curve of your belly, your long toes, all of these things make up the person you are. They add to your juiciness & uniqueness! This is who you are! No amount of self-loathing, worry or doubt will change those things. Love the one you’re with!
Pick one part of your body at a time to focus & love on. Start with something easy, then make it more challenging for yourself. Take a photo of that area & learn to love it. (Thanks, @TulpaBlack!) Draw love hearts on it (either the photo or the body part, whichever you prefer!). Tell it you love it. “Crazy curly ringlets, I love you!” “Bumpy bodacious booty, you make my heart soar!” Make it funny, make it ridiculous, do whatever you gotta do but pour all the love you have into it.
When you find yourself thinking negatively about a part of you, strive to see the good in it. Even if the amount of good versus the amount of “bad” is tiny — amplify the positive. Blow it up huge. Think about that instead. Soon, the love will run rampant & sweep the sadness up in a big hug.
@miss__lizzi says you should research the time in which your body shape was most admired! Her era was the 1920s. When was yours?
“...I love every dimple, roll, nook and cellulite cranny. I am fat and I love the way I look. Even in the harsh lighting of my room. The only tragedy here is that I didn’t try doing this sooner. And that my camera is too low quality to capture exactly how cute that swimsuit is.”
Stop focusing on perfection — & this includes what you look like & what you ate today. You are human, which means you are complicated & not a robot! Perfection is unattainable & totally maddening. Learn to accept & be loving of yourself NO MATTER WHAT.
If you need it, get help. You’re not the first person to have a problem with food or body issues, believe me! Additionally, make no mistake about it, IF YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER IT CAN BE BEATEN. I am living proof of this. Please believe me, please don’t think you are the only exception to the rule. I am going to be writing more about this tomorrow so sit tight!
Learning to love our bodies & our looks is an ongoing process. It’s like that Pantene commercial: “It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen!” You just have to keep the faith & keep on truckin’!
The world is so big. Big enough that we can have 30,000,000 different types of beauty, & they are ALL cool & ALL valid & ALL fabulous!
Celebrate your body! No matter what you think of it, it is still sexy as hell! It is still beautiful! Learn it! Live it!
Love & love & love,
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the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 9: Manifesting & magic-making!
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I started lifting weights a few weeks ago. At first my fiance was all “oh no, you’re going to bulk up!” but now we have fun spotting each other and working to get higher weights. I used to think my legs were the worst part of me, but I realized that under the fat that is undoubtedly there, I have some fantastic muscles.
More girls should start lifting! It feels great to be strong, and there’s no worry of bulking up unless you start juicing (don’t). Strong women are sexy :]
these articles are just getting better & better!
Thank you, you go Girl!
I’m printing this as we speak (type!) and sticking it to my cubby, my bedroom mirror and my fridge :)
Love you Gala!
Excellent, excellent.
As a 41 year old just returning to dance who has suffered a lifetime of a variety of body-centered disorders, I am proof that a) it is NEVER too late to embrace your body fully and b) it is never too late to do what you love.
I am stronger, more flexible, and more creative than I ever was as a 16 year old dancer!
And though I still struggle, I am AWARE of the struggle, and that has made all the difference in the world.
My first week of boot camp, I couldn’t even do the whole circuit before I was dry heaving. I paid big money for this, I told myself, and there was no way I was going to make it through the next 3 weeks.
But I kept going. And i made it through those three weeks. And signed up for another month. And then another.
I have pushed my body to do things I didn’t think it could. I am the least coordinated, clumsiest girl who has to use air jump ropes because I inevitably hit myself in the head repeatedly with the real jump rope. I am AMAZED at what my body can do. I have a whole new appreciation for it and how lucky I am to have it and all its imperfections.
I love these articles (and especially the girl who looked up the era in which her body type was the ideal – I’m a 20’s girl too!).
These mean a lot to me. All my life I looked down on my body because I’m very thin and lean instead of bodacious like all the girls on tv. I was even considering getting implants for a large portion of my life. It wasn’t until probably not even a few month ago that I started truly loving my body. I have giant scars running down my left leg. So what? I bet most people hadn’t gone through 7 surgeries before they hit 15. So what if I don’t have DD’s? My itty bitty titties are perfect for my body and I love them how they are. I think this is such an important issue because girls of all shapes and sizes have problems with their bodies, and so many just let this keep on going!
I just wanted to thank you for spreading the idea of self-love. It’s something I try to do every day, and I try to make a consistent effort to tell all my friends and even strangers that they look beautiful! I feel like it’s something everyone should do, when you love yourself it’s so much easier to spread love to everyone, and to make the world a better place.
Really loving this series of posts recently. As always, you find a lovely way to express what needs to be said. Health, happiness, and beauty are all intertwined, and there are so many ways that can be expressed outwardly.
Well done Miss Gala. :)
this is awesome and perfect.
thankyou gala! xx
Love Love Love this!
And that picture! She’s GORGEOUS! Seriously if there were pictures like that in my magazines when I was a teenager, I would have been a much happier person! I’m glad I realized how awful they were one day and chucked out every single one I had purchased (It was a large box full).
I have a scale and just out of curiosity stood on it for the first time the other day, it said what I thought it would…160. & out of curiosity I looked to see what my BMI was…and it said I was Overweight! PSHAW! I don’t look overweight. I guess I just have little elephants weighing me down! haha Scales don’t account for muscle. Luckily I know this. Ladies, you’re better off without a scale. They are confusing and silly.
Great Article Gala!! Keep ‘em coming!! :D
Ooohhhh good one. If you think of food as body-fuel, and become conscious of what you put in, you may just find that you’re eating better.
This was a real pick-me-up! My favorite was the one about throwing away the scales. I did it already, and I have a very improved self-image of myself!
Another wonderful, happy-making post! Yay!
Those things remind me of this song “Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen)” by Baz Luhrman. It has this part in it where the voice says “Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it – it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.”
:)
Yes, you can beat eating disorders. I just wanted to add my voice, and my personal experience to yours. And it feels good :)
I took an art history class in university where I discovered that I have the exact same body type as the earliest sculptures of Aphrodite. NOT HOT according to magazine standards (http://www.uoregon.edu/~arthist/arthist_204/monumentimages/aphrodite_knidos.gif). At first I felt bad about it. The early Greek female nudes are criticized as failed attempts – that they were basically just sticking boobs on their tried and true male nude form. So I was like a dude with tits. Also this means it’s been a LONG ASS TIME since my body type has been in fashion.
But this post is making me rethink that. It was so obvious – why couldn’t I see? Some sculptor thought this body type embodied the goddess of love.
Thank you.
Today’s my birthday, and the numbers keep getting higher (as they do). This was such a good thing for me to read today, because I’m going to try to make this year my best and healthiest yet. I’ve never left a comment here before, but I felt I needed to say thank you today.
:-)
“Breaking the mold is how you get things done,” love it!
I love the how you’ve put such an important message in such fun, creative and practical terms! It’s so rare and special! : )
Very good message! I’ve started standing in front of the mirror saying ‘I have a hot body’ – it makes me blush bright red every time – and I thought I had a very body positive attitude :) Will keep on with the lovin’ though…
This was perfect timing, as always, Gala!
I’m pretty sure I could win an award for ‘least athletic person ever’, but today I’m entering a 10k run!
I’ve been suffering with depression for a while and think that this will be a great thing for me to focus on & after reading this, I know I can do it!
Thankyou for yet more inspiration Gala.
xoxo
Thank you Gala! This is so inspiring! I want to dance, run and practise yoga all at the same time, whilst singing “I love my body the way it is!” - Thank you for using my twitter comment-thats really made my day! x
I love this post! I absolutely love my body, and it frustrates me when others can’t appreciate what they have. Our bodies were made to attract mates, so whatever they naturally do is beautiful.
I stopped reading trashy celebrity/body bashing magazines a few years ago and unsurprisingly my self-esteem increased dramatically not long afterwards.
And for the bathroom scales: they’re not even that good a tool for measuring how healthy you are. I used to be almost overweight by BMI, but it was because I did a lot of hillwalking and thus had big calve muscles, not because I was overweight. The bathroom mirror is a much better tool for deciding whether or not you’re badly out of shape.
xxx
I’m all for giving compliments to strangers. I know it makes my day if I get one, why not give one?
Thank you so much for this article! It is getting really scary and out of hand how much women (and men) are fixating on image these days. I over hear people talking about a woman as though she were useless if she doesn’t fit some standard of “beauty” ...people need to wake up and realize that being human and healthy is beautiful!
haha I love running around naked ^^ and everytime I look at myself in the mirror I think I look hot ^^
Absolutely loving these posts! It’s about time that women stopped trying to look like the (poorly-airbrushed) women in Cosmo!
A few months ago I started going to the gym three times a week as part of a plan to live a healthier lifestyle. It’s nothing special, just 30 mins of cardio and anything else I feel like doing, but it’s changed my whole life! I eat better, sleep better, and FEEL BETTER!
Great tips. I think my camera is too low quality to capture how cute I am…someone send me a new one?!>
I am so unathletic that it’s laughable, and I still retch after going on the cross trainer, but I started going to the gym three weeks ago thinking that I would hate it, and I LOVE it. It’s total me time. I go alone, leave my phone in my locker, and listen to my favourite science podcast (RadioLab, it’s amazing!) while doing something that is for me and me alone.
I wish more women would exercise just because it makes you feel so damn good! I don’t see a whole lot of physical benefits from my morning yoga & exercise, but I feel SO GOOD afterwards. I can tell a serious difference on the days that I don’t do it all – my back is a lot more prone to hurting.
And I totally agree with throwing out the scale. I haven’t had one in years, and I have never once thought “Gee you know what I miss? Having a scale!”.
This is awesome Gala… keep up the good work… there’s a generation of self-esteemless girls out there that need you!
love this post, gala! funny that you suggest taking a sex course, as i am actually headed to a female sexuality information session tonight! it’s a 10 week workshop & i am super super super excited about it – hopefully i can get in!
recently in my human bonding class, we’ve been discussing universal measures of attractiveness, as shown through various research studies. it can be kind of a downer to realize that your WHR isn’t ideal, or that your features aren’t symmetrical, etc. etc. etc. but you know what? i say fuck the standards – prove everyone wrong & love yourself first. believe that you are sexy AND cute AND warm… because really, you are. you just have to believe it.
i feel like i say this every single time i comment here, but i love reading everyone’s comments – we need some sort of crazy radical self love mailing list, where we can all send each other little notes of love and light and encouragement!
p.s. hahaha, so cute that you formed a croquet team for your sport. ;*
p.p.s. Elana – i have a similar body type & usually i wish i looked differently, but i have to say, that sculpture is beautiful, & it’s making me re-think my original stance. thank you for sharing; xo
YES. Gala, I am falling in love with you all over again.
“run these four questions through your mind…”
conscious conversations with yourself…looking lucidly at thoughts and reconstructing answers rather than building upon old negativity.
wow- so applicable to all aspects of life and doubt.
brilliant.
The thing about drinking more water is so true. I used to snack a lot and sometimes still do, but about 6 months ago I started keeping a big glass of ice water on my coffee table and a pretty picture of water in my fridge. I drink more water everyday without even thinking about it.
Whoever mentioned lifting weights above is absolutely right. It makes you into a warrior woman and gives you challenges to overcome every single time. Squatting five more pounds suddenly becomes a huge deal and you can feel so proud of yourself after you accomplish it. I put my best pump-up metal mixtape on my headphones and go at it. (Bonus: you might be sore as hell the next day, but I’ve never seen anyone dry heave on the weight bench.)
Lifting also naturally conditions you to eat a healthier, muscle-building diet. You wind up eating more and more protein because – guess what – you aren’t as sore when you eat a ton of it, while lots of refined sugar and grains can make you feel heavy and slow.
Spending as much time as possible naked or near-naked is great, too. I had to move into my own apartment and away from roommates to do this comfortably, but now I live with my boyfriend and we just loaf around in the buff all the time. You get used to what your body looks like and can spend time focusing on the biological marvel that you are. Even just watching your muscles flex and move in harmony during a commercial break or something breeds appreciation.
The first point is really good! The female body is (has always been) so much foucused on! The negative side effect of this is us having to adapt to what ever body form is considered attractive at the time. And when we can’t simply adapt…like boobs…we need to do it artifcially. It makes me sad, as I know truly beautiful women that did surgery only to find out that they aren’t much happier afterwards. The embracing of our bodies cannot be enough emphasised!!
This is what I’m talking about! And thank you for mentioning that loving your own body doesn’t mean hating other people’s bodies, including those of “skinny” people. Some people just don’t get that part, and that it makes others feel bad about their own bodies.
I think not bringing a scale to college and focusing on food as fuel the beginning of this past school year has been the best decision I have ever made. One thing that helped is finding out where my food comes from. Becoming more proactive in my choices has been a great help (Examples: Considering the worth of eating organic, the huge benefits of buying seasonal, locally-produced food, etc). Not only do I feel good eating that food, but the fresh, delicious produce makes me feel energized as well. (And – Earth Day is coming up! It can’t hurt!)
I also like to give myself hugs when I’m feeling down about myself. It felt silly at first, but it helps – hug yourself, and say, “You know what? I love you. So freaking much. You’re an amazing, fantastic person, and you deserve the world and so much more.” Whether or not you have someone else to hug you. Because when it comes down to it, the biggest ally, the most constant supporter, the one that will be there through good and bad, is yourself.
Thank you for the scale comment! I never believed that having a scale was useful, at least not so much that you need it in your home ALL THE TIME. I only weigh myself if I’m at the doctor’s office.
I’ve increased my water intake from about 5dl to over 2 liters daily, just by carrying a water bottle with me at all times.
It has worked wonders! I feel so much more awake and refreshed than I did before!
GREAT POST!
Thank you for this topic. I am struggling with my winter weight gain and general freak out about every bit of chub I find. I realize how sad it is to feel so judgmental about myself and other women because my tummy poked out today or my ass seemed chubby. It’s ridiculous, shallow and frivolous.
thank you, gala, dearling. you are such a bold soul and your words & confidence & warmth encourages us to go towards the healing.
really.really.
my self-absorption with loathing my body has been such an impediment. i hate how it can preoccupy me and turn me into a small minded, non functioning, gloomy being. all that waste when i could be celebrating! lately, i’ve been doing pilates/yoga/dance videos at home and not only can i breathe more deeply, but i’m happier and even admire once in awhile when i catch my reflection. now i want to do it. i want to push myself.
thank you so much for writing this gala! i’m a size 10-12 and my whole life i have beat myself up for being overweight which in my mind meant ugly ugly and just self hatred forever. reading things like this makes me realize that weight is really just a number and i am beautiful no matter what!
I loved this post!!! (But, then again, anything with the words “How To” in it make me go all spazzy and make me read it)
And I’m all for the scale thing too. I only go on a scale a few times a year just to figure out how much I weigh (I partly blame this on being a Physics major since the best way to learn force is by learning weight). And even then it’s mostly so that I stay in the weight range that I’m used to (don’t worry girls- I like to stay within 155-165 lbs because I feel that it’s my best athletic weight. Long story short…it’s the weight that makes me feel good).
Being in college you see the twits who are like “Like, I’m gonna be a, like, vegetarian, so, like, I don’t gain the Freshman 15”. Blah blah blah. I say just eat what you want and be done with it, but be somewhat healthy (and I found out eating somewhat organic is good for you too! Thank you Trader Joes!).
I love me and that’s pretty much it! Everyone should love themselves anyway!
OMG that picture! My mouth fell open.
She…sorta looks like me. OK, a taller version of me but I have the same curves…Wow. She’s gorgeous.
I think that visual has helped me a lot already…
I’m glad you mentioned Byron Katie. I sent you a tweet about her – was that how you found out? Cuz that would be awesome hehe.
being aware of the changability of “ideal” female beauty is a HUGE thing.
I have teeny-tiny boobs, a very narrow waist, and wide hips/thighs…I recently got measured for a bridesmaid dress and it was like, thirtysomething-twentysomething-fortysomething.
There’s SOOOOO many times when I feel like I’m woefully flat-chested and gigantically fat-assed, but I remind myself that I was the Western ideal from ancient Greece until the Regency Era (Jane Austen’s time). Big boobs were considered peasant-like, and slim hips manly. Now, it’s THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE!!
Knowing what 20th-c era your body type was idealized in helps with clothes, too!!
Super-skinny? get inspired by the 20s and 30s: wide-legged pants, drop-waisted tops and dresses, etc. You can wear a neckline cut down to your bellybutton and make it look elegant. You’re Jean Harlow, Louise Brooks, and Zelda Fitz.
Curvy? check out the 50s and 60s for a-line skirts, great necklines, and nipped-in peplum jackets (watch Mad Men & Hitchcock films)
Athletic? that’s the 40s and 80s: pencil skirts, slim-legged pants, flowing tops, bare shoulders & you’ll look great in capris. Think Kate Hepburn, Bacall, Dietrich, and Garbo alongside the original supermodels.
If you’re boyishly built, go to the 70s and 90s for loose long skirts, flared pants, and cute button-up tops. You’re Twiggy, Kate Moss, and Tilda Swinton.
I borrow mainly from the 30s and 60s because I’m slimmer up top. Fashion is collage.
I remember feeling suspicious when my boyfriend told me “Your body looks like one of those romanticism nude paintings”. Later (maybe 10 minutes later!) I was amazed at myself for thinking that. I mean, what a fantastic compliment! Those were some good-looking dames, and like chrisbean says above, that idea was pretty long lasting!
I want my boyfriend to read this as well; I know I for one forget sometimes that he probably worries about his body image just as much as I do (which, after years of reading Gala, ain’t much anymore!!! THANK YOU!!)
My sister is much younger than me, and when she was little she didn’t like having to have small versions of things my parents and I got, so we just called them all “Sister-sized”. “But Sister, it’s so perfect for you, it’s a Sister-size chair!” “I’ll give you a Sister-size piece” “We got you this Sister-size notebook!”
So I look at it that way. I wear M-sized pants, my skin is M-style skin, my hair is M-colored and I’m exactly M inches tall. I look at everyone else the same way, too, which makes me a downer of a bitching-partner: “What are you guys laughing about, that’s just what her nose looks like?”
And of course what you put into your body is so important. Your body is made of that. Even a skinny girl can be made of pork scratchings, but doesn’t that sound gross?
Gala you are awesome~ great article
Who is the gorgeous voluptuous beauty in the pic?
Your comment about thinking of food as fuel has really helped me— it seems like such common sense but it really is a genius bit of advice!
I know girls that have always been extremely small, and no matter what can not gain weight,and they DO NOT have eating disorders. Its just the way they are born, just as a girl is born to be naturally curvy. I can’t help but feel that my friends, in a situation that is about loving your bodies, aren’t suppose to love there body because they are too thin?
I for one, DO relate to everything here, and I know naturally thin girls relate to a lot of what you’ve said here too, but when it comes to the weight topic, its pretty clear that no one is talking about loving themselves even if they are a little thin, just like loving yourself even if you are a little bit bigger.
just sayin..
i’m so fucking glad that you’re blogging. i love what you have to say. what you’re writing about now is so important. if i were able to combine all the time i’ve spent pouring over MINUTE bits and pieces of my physical imperfections, and were able to get this time back, i’d have enough time to see the world. when i think about it now, refusing to eat mints because OMFG i just bought a size medium. it made me feel like an ugly person. and i’m really quite lovely. we all have this conflict, we want to be comfortable with ourselves but we also want to be smaller, taller, tanner, smarter, whatever.
anyway, what you’re showing to us now is seriously a nudge in the right direction. it’s like you’re giving me a little shove, to go and introduce myself to myself.
oh no! my comment cut off!
I had also mentioned that I couldn’t find anything online about it myself, and I thought maybe you could help touch base on it in some way?
A couple of years ago I noticed I had gained some weight. My clothes weren’t fitting as well, some not at all, and I didn’t feel good about my body. I was met with a lot of discouragement in my desire to lose weight. HOWEVER! I went about it in a healthy way. I started eating better, I independently used the weight watchers points system, and began working out.
I’ve never had money to join a gym. I started with really easy (and cheesy) workout videos at home, and then moved on to harder ones. And I had never done sports and hated sweating and never thought I would work out EVER! But I really got into it, and let me tell you it can be really rewarding. For serious, girls.
Today I am slimmer and toned and I feel marvelous about my body and on top of it I’m so incredibly proud of myself for changing my act all by myself. And I love my sweet abs.
Dear Gala,
I’m seventeen and a dancer, which means many of my friends have perfect dancer bodies, which I don’t. I always say that I like my body, and I do, but I have to admit that I’m always sightly dissatisfied by my stomach roll and gooey legs. “I’m a dancer,” I think, “I should be skinny.”
But today, I logged on here and read these posts, and I’ve decided that it’s high time to love every bit of me. I’m about to graduate high school and embark on the journey that is the rest of my life, out of suburbia and into a bright new world. It’s time to love my brown eyes, the curve of my stomach, the thick muscles that run from my calves up to my quads, my strong back, and my gnarly, tap-dancing feet.
I have been feeling so unappreciated lately, because I wasn’t appreciating myself. Radical self-love is helping me appreciate me. For someone who is caught in the throes of teen angst and anxiety, it is a wonderful feeling.
Thank you for that.
I love this! It’s great, and I’m trying to spread it to my friends and I encourage them all to read this because it is simply brilliant!
Researching body shape ideals struck me as an interesting idea.. When I first read it I thought “How am I even supposed to do that?” But then after some searching on the internet- wow! I didn’t think my body would fit ANYWHERE. Im so MIDDLE, Im not skinny or curvy or boyish or hour-glassed, not even tall or short, just average all around I’ve always thought. But its incredibly wonderful to look at a portrait of a nude aphrodite and think “Hey, she looks like ME!” As it turns out, being “proportionate” was an ideal on and off for a long time! Thats something I can brag about, Im one hell of a sexy, proportionate girl! I curve out and in at a crazy-even rate!
I found a portrait called Sleeping Venus from 1505, and the way her breasts aren’t bigger than her hands, but she has just a little round belly and cute round thighs… its really pretty. Its what I have! And I’d love it if I could see naked woman like that lounging around outside and posing on magazines. Or of all different sizes! The fact that ALL were exposed to is tall and underweight and large breasted just gets sickening after a while..
Lady, I love all your posts lately. They’re so positive and perfect. Everything here is oozing with kinetic magic.
I love most of this, but food as fuel makes me uncomfortable. Shouldn’t food be something you enjoy and relish and love? Maybe you still do, but thinking of it as fuel just sucks the joy out of it for me.
Jemima – i guess you could always consider fuel quality too… i mean, you’ve got the cheap, unleaded stuff that fills you up & gets the job done. then you’ve got diesel, which you don’t need… and finally there’s premium – which is what you deserve. a little more expensive, yes, but better for the engine (theoretically), more power, feels good, lets you run smoothly…
i don’t know if this is what gala meant, but for me, food is fuel in the sense that it not only sustains you & gives you energy, but also makes you feel awesome. if a double decker cheeseburger & fries makes you feel lethargic, feel free to order that salad with the cucumbers & sunflower seeds & extra almonds (yum)! if that salmon & cream cheese bagel is singing to you, get it & feel good. don’t worry about, “oh gosh, i am consuming 7 grams of fat; i must chain myself to the treadmill for the next 8 hours.” what you eat should serve you, not the other way around.
also, Rachel – it’s neat that so many of us identify with the “average, proportionate girl.” here i’ve been my whole life, feeling entirely underrepresented in the media. i’m not the hourglass figure. i’m not skin and bones. i’m not the curvy bodacious bombshell… but i AM the woman who’s been painted for centuries and centuries; i am the woman who’s been worshipped by artists and men since the beginning of time. talk about a mega revelation!
This post was really inspirational. I’m going to try and reread it every day! (And I’m definitely reading every post from now on!)
This is something I super need to work on because of my gender related body dysphoria. My body is a perfectly nice shape for a girl, but most unfortunately girl doesnt describe what I am. Im still struggling to come to terms with the fact that my beautifully female body has a wonderfully masculine mind inside of it and that’s not a bad thing.
Sometimes I fail at it, and unfortunately, I get messages from those around me that I’m anti-feminist and anti-body when I dress as the boi I am. Which is a shame, because I’m such a dapper young lad!
If I can learn to love my girlyboy body, so can you.
(I’m curious to see if there are any other people on here celebrating trans pride and working on their body images!)
Sometimes I feel uncomfortable with my body, but I can’t help but liking myself as I am. A lot.
Right now is summer (a really hot one) and I’m always almost naked, and I every time I walk near a mirror I stay posing a little while. Today I discovered that my chubby belly is cute, and that made me so happy ♥
Thank you Gala for helping us to remember how extremely saucy we all really are, regardless of our shape. Crazy as it sounds, it makes me feel better sometimes to thank my bod for all it does. It’s my main mode of transport, and it’s working away like a trooper even when I’m asleep. Curves, no curves, curves-and-no-curves combo- whatever body we have is a beautiful and splendid thing.
Love your blog Gala, you are true star.
I don’t think of food as fuel. I think about the pleasure I get from eating something truly good. When you start paying attention to the taste and texture of food, you begin to gravitate naturally towards fresh fruits and vegetables, rare spices, premium quality meat (if you eat that), delicious cheese… Junk food doesn’t have the same appeal anymore – gradually you don’t want it at all. You experiment with things you’ve never tasted before (all those strange vegetables! all the different ways of cooking!). As my food became tastier and more adventurous, it also became better for my health. This however is from someone who never had any weight issue (real or imaginary) to begin with.
PS- Better food is like better shoes. When you’ve worn your first pair of Louboutins, it’s hard to go back to buying cheap heels from H&M!
I’m really starting to love the posts this week!
Like Stellar, I don’t think of food as fuel – to me it’s not just about sustenance – it’s an enjoyable part of my day!I love cooking and eating out so I look forward to my meals and discovering new things that I like!!!
Also I am on a total ‘appreciate your body’ rampage just now too as a friend has become obsessed with losing weight, when she was gorgeous and healthy to start with. I’ve gained two stone over the past two years and I am at a healthy weight (I was underweight two years ago after suffering from glandular fever) Some people told me I looked great and skinny when I was underweight, but I never felt comfortable – now I have curves and clothes sit better on me. I have some flabby bits but I don’t mind, and neither does my other half!
On the sports thing – totally with you on that Gala (LOVE the croquet story!!!) the only part of gym I looked forward to was Scottish Dancing at Xmas time! But now I’ve realised my metabolism isn’t what it was, and I HATE the gym, so I’m now taking cheerdance and hip hop classes. I actually look forward to them – something I never thought I’d say about exercise!!!
Gala, love your writings, but it should be at the end:
Love letters & feather headdresses & Cupcakes too ..
I love the point you made about looking at food as fuel and what it is doing to your body. I suffered from an eating disorder for years, and one of the things that helped me pull through was changing the relationship I had with food. Rather than treating food as ‘the enemy’, I was encouraged to learn to cook, and to take pleasure in eating. When I choose what I am going to put on my plate, I look at the food and imagine what it can do for my body, rather than what it will do to it,
How about turning this into a podcast? love & sequins 8?
I thought you might appreciate this:
ihvpave.livejournal.com/659979…
It’s not specifically about physical self-love, but it is about radical embrace of self, precisely as is.
Gorgeous post!
I eat without guilt. I figure that when you eat with guilt, (eg, a slice of cake, the whole cake, the icing too) your body panics and goes in to ‘lockdown’ for fear of being starved. This ‘lockdown’ is a metabolism red light.
Yes this may sound simplistic and naive but try it.
Guilt is a terrible thing.
...and move! Move that body! Dance, run, skip, jump, move! Loving your self should be the easiest thing because you are the only YOU you will ever be…be*YOU*tiful
Hello Gala! As a teenager, I feel like I’m wired to have low self-esteem. But thanks to this awesome self-love month, I feel wonderful about myself for the first time in years. I used to avoid people because I felt inadequate, but now I like to strike up a conversation wherever I go in the hopes that I can brighten the other person’s day and spread the love. I used to smirk at people that said what I’m about to say, but it really is true: if you feel gorgeous and remarkable on the inside, you’re going to radiate that energy on the outside.
As Roald Dahl said, “A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
Also, in my English class we have to make a persuasive speech in front of the entire class. My speech is entitled “Western Civilization’s Obsession with Looks, and Why We Should Give Them the Finger.” I’m going to finish the speech with a little preach about loving those around you, and most importantly, loving yourself. Because what teenager doesn’t need to be told that they are beautiful?
When I was 15 my mom told me I should look frail like Sissy Spacek…she had just done the movie Carrie at the time and was indeed frail looking. That started me on the road to anorexia, I never allowed myself to weigh over 100 lbs, there were times when I would weigh in the 80’s…can you imagine?! It has taken me a long, long time but I no longer weigh myself and I do not wear a size 1 any more! I don’t feel that I have to be super skinny to be beautiful! Let’s do the healthy body dance…come on dance with me lol! Thank you Gala, this is GOOD STUFF! Have a wonderful day everyone!
Almost everyone of my friends has body issues. Even I did, which is ridiculous because everyone tells me how amazing my bodu is! I’ve been able to come to terms with my self and love my body now, but my closest friends still bash their bodies. From now on, I’m going to be a positive force in their lives and help them realize they’re beautiful. I’ll also direct them to your blog.
this is perfect. i radically love myself even more already.
i was just wondering, and i don’t know if this relates in your mind or not… i was wondering if you could maybe write some stuff about financial health in a radical-self-love-oriented way. embracing financial health is the struggle i have the most difficult time surmounting. maybe you could shed some light on the subject and the way you relate to money? it seems like you’re doing something right in that regard!
with very much love + gratitude
True story:
I was at a party, and there was this hot guy there that I started talking to. Now, I’ve been overweight my whole life, so I wasn’t expecting that this was anything more than friendly conversation. I mean, tall, hot, fit guys w/tattoos had never ever hit on me before. His dancing with hot, thin blonde girl later in the evening seemed to confirm my skepticism, right? Of course right.
Except when he came up behind me and pulled me out onto the dance floor, and dancing led to making out, and making out led to me going back to his place! :) His favorite thing in the world? My booty! Couldn’t stay away from it! Meanwhile, remember blonde girl he was dancing with earlier? He was invited to that party specifically for her. But he wasn’t interested. :)
My point is, you’d be surprised what different people find attractive – people who you’d think just by looking at them (bad girl! placing judgments!)WOULDN’T be into a certain thing or look. There IS no cookie-cutter mold. And somewhere in this world, there’s a happy, welcoming place for all of us! :)
The bit about throwing away your scale is REALLY good advice. I hadn’t had one for years, then I got one and was checking my weight everyday. Useless!
I love what you said about food. For the most part, I make everything I eat from scratch and have been trying to eat things in their natural state, rather than filled with things created in a laboratory. I feel good in general, and feel good about myself and have gotten a lot better in the last five years about being self-critical.
Gala, only 2 words: THANK YOU. You’ve no idea how much your latest posts have helped me. And how my self destruction behaviour has improved. So yes, thank you. A million times thank you.
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and god that girl in the picture is f*****g GORGEOUS! who is she? See, you can still be curvy and be amazingly sexy. Don’t take emanciated models as a role model. And don’t compare yourself.
Your Radical Self Love & good advice has helped me. :P
I’m starting to really like my outside appearance.
& loving my tiny/petite body & my small…squishy curves.
I do believe [now] that I am a pretty girl in my own unique way.
I realize there’s so many unique beauty all around us.
We ALL have unique beauty that makes us, [well] us! :P
But I have a major problem liking myself in the inside more than anything. I have such a hard time liking my personality, traits, basically who I am as a person, etc. I’m really holding myself back & it’s keeping me from doing the things I want to do in life. I’m kinda stuck in that area which isn’t good, of course. Haha. I do apologize for the negatively. I just don’t know where to start?
Love what you’re writing, but still, I need to nag a bit on it ´cause getting help isin’t easy.
I’ve tried getting help almost 5-6 years now, and nobody have helped me. All I got was a pad on the shoulder and “You have to eat, you know that.”
But I think I might actually get help in a couple of months, or I hope so ´cause I have lived with this eating disorder since I was thirteen, it was nine years ago and I really would like to learn to love myself before I die.
These pieces you’ve written lately about self-love and loving your body and fueling it with food have been absolutely amazing and necessary. I can’t believe the judgement that is thrust on women and their bodies sometimes. It is at an alltime ridiculous level. Your writings are so pertinent!
I read this and I want to cry – not out of sadness but joy that there is the possibility that I can love my body as much as this.