3 March 2010, 11:27
Stop buying & reading magazines or websites which talk about weight or speculate as to which celebrity has an eating disorder. It doesn’t matter whether the comments are “Dude she needs a cheeseburger” or “Ugh if I looked like that I wouldn’t leave the house”, IT AIN’T HELPING! All it does is foster judgment of ourselves & others, neither of which EVER lead to anything positive! Evaluating other people’s bodies is so dangerous & destructive! Let’s learn to stop doing it. Let’s help one another stop doing it. Let’s learn to see the beauty in other people instead.
Learn to use your body in a new way. Take a sex course or trapeze lessons. Wake yourself up to the myriad of ways in which you can surprise yourself…
Take a life drawing class. (Dr Sketchy’s Anti Art School is my favourite!) You’ll develop an appreciation for different types of bodies, which might just make you love your own a little bit more.
Throw away your scales. For real. Why do you need them? Baby, you don’t.
Make posters for your house which say, “I am a beautiful person & I have a gorgeous body”. Thanks so much, @JennaKarl!
Look at yourself naked in the mirror — often. Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Look in the mirror & say out loud that you love yourself, or give yourself compliments — even if it makes you feel stupid or embarrassed. Trust me, that will change! You just have to do it often!
Tell your friends, & even complete strangers, how beautiful they are. Everyone wants to hear it & we so seldom do!
Start to view food as fuel as opposed to some kind of enemy. Get educated about what you’re eating. Learn about additives & high-fructose corn syrup & find out what you are really putting into your body. More importantly, learn what it does to your body — from the physical to the psychological effects. Knowledge is power!
“Your bit about how you think of food as pure fuel for your body, wow. I’ve always been overweight. My whole family is into the fatty southern cooking and all… Well I’m now doing much better about how I eat and what I put into my body, I feel so energized.” — C.M.
Drink more water! As well as being amazing for your skin & your insides, we often think we’re hungry when we’re actually really dehydrated. If you’re a compulsive snacker, making the switch to water can make a huge difference.
Whenever you have a negative thought about your body, run these four questions through your mind:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
Byron Katie developed this powerful set of questions — you can learn more about them & her technique here! (I only just found out about it & am really excited to get into it some more!)
Realise that wanting to look like a Hollywood starlet is a very narrow & Western ideal. Hollywood is not everything, & that version of “beauty” isn’t beautiful to a lot of cultures. Don’t be afraid to be different! Breaking the mold is how you get things done…
Move your body… regularly. No matter how unfit you think you are. I had my first session with a personal trainer last week, & the amount of exercise I did before having to go to the bathroom to dry retch was laughable. As embarrassed as I was — & trust me, I was mortified — I took it as a sign that THE TIME HAS COME. I’m 26 & my body thinks I’m 70. When I went back a couple of days later, I had a great time! Seriously, if I can do this, you can too. I am the least athletic person ever. (It was compulsory to do sport at my school, so I formed a croquet team. That is how not-athletic I am.) Turn a corner. Make a promise to yourself that you will give your body what it needs, not just what it thinks it wants! You are worth it!
Learn to accept yourself as you are. Your nose, the crinkle in your forehead, the curve of your belly, your long toes, all of these things make up the person you are. They add to your juiciness & uniqueness! This is who you are! No amount of self-loathing, worry or doubt will change those things. Love the one you’re with!
Pick one part of your body at a time to focus & love on. Start with something easy, then make it more challenging for yourself. Take a photo of that area & learn to love it. (Thanks, @TulpaBlack!) Draw love hearts on it (either the photo or the body part, whichever you prefer!). Tell it you love it. “Crazy curly ringlets, I love you!” “Bumpy bodacious booty, you make my heart soar!” Make it funny, make it ridiculous, do whatever you gotta do but pour all the love you have into it.
When you find yourself thinking negatively about a part of you, strive to see the good in it. Even if the amount of good versus the amount of “bad” is tiny — amplify the positive. Blow it up huge. Think about that instead. Soon, the love will run rampant & sweep the sadness up in a big hug.
@miss__lizzi says you should research the time in which your body shape was most admired! Her era was the 1920s. When was yours?
“...I love every dimple, roll, nook and cellulite cranny. I am fat and I love the way I look. Even in the harsh lighting of my room. The only tragedy here is that I didn’t try doing this sooner. And that my camera is too low quality to capture exactly how cute that swimsuit is.”
Stop focusing on perfection — & this includes what you look like & what you ate today. You are human, which means you are complicated & not a robot! Perfection is unattainable & totally maddening. Learn to accept & be loving of yourself NO MATTER WHAT.
If you need it, get help. You’re not the first person to have a problem with food or body issues, believe me! Additionally, make no mistake about it, IF YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER IT CAN BE BEATEN. I am living proof of this. Please believe me, please don’t think you are the only exception to the rule. I am going to be writing more about this tomorrow so sit tight!
Learning to love our bodies & our looks is an ongoing process. It’s like that Pantene commercial: “It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen!” You just have to keep the faith & keep on truckin’!
The world is so big. Big enough that we can have 30,000,000 different types of beauty, & they are ALL cool & ALL valid & ALL fabulous!
Celebrate your body! No matter what you think of it, it is still sexy as hell! It is still beautiful! Learn it! Live it!