I Can't Believe It; I Didn't Get Into University!
[ 2 February 2009 ]
Daisy Lowe.
To answer your question — well, it’s pretty simple really. Once you get past all the panic, you’ll see that you can do anything you like. (This is always the case. You can always do anything you like.)
In my opinion, you should do something fun with your time, & re-apply next semester — if you want to. Who knows how your life will change in that time? When the next semester rolls around, you could be a completely different person, selling tea in Morocco, totally enchanted by the landscape & your new beloved. Your distant dreams of being an accountant may seem very far away.
I understand that you’re disappointed & were really looking forward to kicking off this whopping new chapter of your life. Maybe you planned on starting university with all your friends — now, they appear to be moving forward while you’re stuck in one place. Don’t worry about that, it’s an illusion. The disappointment will pass, & just because your friends are doing something doesn’t mean you need to do it too. That’s their path, not yours. You don’t have to operate on their time-line — in fact, your life will probably be much more interesting & satisfying if you don’t.
There’s no reason why you need to start now, & if you, like me, subscribe to the concept of everything happening for a reason, then you might like to view this new twist as a blessing from the universe. A shining opportunity to learn more about who you are, what you want, & where you really want to go.
University might have been part of your grand life plan, but life is full of curve-balls, surprises & trickery. That’s what makes life juicy! When things don’t go “our way” — or the way we think they should go — we pout & stomp about & generally flail around until… well, until we get over it. I suggest skipping the tantrum part if you can. Right now, I’m really into this idea of organic progression. I completely made that phrase up, but it’s basically a more palatable idea (to me) than “go with the flow”. What it means is not pushing back when life takes an unexpected turn — just paying attention, staying present, watching for the long-eyelashed wink of the universe & taking your cue. It is entirely possible that the universe is throwing you a big, delicious bone — but you can’t see it because you’re so wrapped up in things happening the way you want them to. As clever as we all think we are, we humans don’t always know what is “best” for us!
I really believe that within everything supposedly “negative” that happens in our lives — misfortunes, heartbreak, difficult relationships — there is an opportunity to spin that into something amazing. It is this incredibly fabulous chance to sort through some of your own scrumptious human messiness & emerge at the other side, slightly bloody but victorious, with a greater understanding of yourself, life & the people around you.
These extra months that have been bestowed upon you are a gift from above — it’s just that it was wrapped in unappealing paper. Who knows what’s next for you? You might even discover your real, actual, true life purpose, & you might not need a university degree to live out that purpose with love & passion! Even better, you get to figure all this stuff out without the stress of paying course fees or taking exams!
This is a beautiful time for you, full of magic & fortune & freedom. Enjoy it.
Extra credit: When was the last time that an unfortunate turn of events was actually something fabulous in disguise?
Love letters & feather headdresses,
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To answer my own question, when I first arrived in Australia I applied for a part-time position at this alternative clothing store near where I worked. I nailed the interview & went in for a half-day trial, where I thought I did pretty well. But I didn’t get the job. I felt SO bad about myself, like “Blah blah blah how could I not even get a part-time job as a sales assistant, I MUST REALLY SUCK” etc. etc. But then I started this website… So as uncomfortable as it was for me to not get a job that I felt I should have had in the bag, you gotta believe me when I say that I wouldn’t change that experience for the WORLD!
This is really what I needed to hear right now. Thank you.
Too right. Although I did university right after high school myself, a friend who waited a year is now a successful film animator. And one of my best friends never finished her degree, and is now music director at the best radio station in town.
It seems like the only option, but it just isn’t. You really can do university at ANY time – whenever you feel truly ready.
Well, after relocation due to Hurricane Katrina (being in the storm & all), moving with my then beau to a shitty college town in the Mid-West (he dumped me soon after), I did manage to get my M.A. degree in Arts Administration… not too unfabulous, if you ask me!
What a fantastic post.
I’m 25 and in a great job but really wish that I had taken a few years out between school and university.
I think i would have totally changed my direction.
Never too late tho . . . .
This kind of thing happens to me all the time – something goes wrong and it feels like a disaster, and then you discover later on that it was because something even better was just waiting for you round the corner. For example, I’ve had house sales fall through when I was completely positive that the house was for me, only then to discover that there was something wrong with the home/area and that there was an even better one for me after all.
Oh, and take it from someone who has spent the last 12yrs (yes, you read that right!) at university, uni is not the be all and end all. Have a think about the reasons behind why you wanted to go in the first place, and you may find that there’s a better option for you, and this is what it took to get you to open your eyes to it. Life is full of wonderful surprises – you just have to alter your perspective in order to see them :-)
Amy
xx
Gala i love your writing. It came at a perfect time. I just had a talk to my mum about studying in nz. I am from malaysia and got to nz in an unfortunate event. I’ve been here for one year and almost 2 months. I was applying to go to central st martins in london but got turned down for a bachelors fashion design and was offered a foundation programme. I accepted it and believed that my father would kept his word and pay my expensive tuition fees, but in the end he pulled out and say he can’t afford it,(this was 2007 August) Then at that time a friend of mine was in London, he was kiwi and we planned to meet there. Cause we were internet dating you see, but things not turning out good as well when his uk visiting visa only got stamped for 2 weeks. I think his rebellion nature got the best of him. So he had to go back to australia where he was living at after he finish his trip to uk (he’s brother was getting married to a uk lady)
So we couldnt meet in the UK. I started working in a high-end curtain shop and save a lot of money while internet dating this guy, it came to a point we really want to see how it feels like to be with each other so he actually flew down to Malaysia, KL and met me, spent 11 days with me. It was a very nice time we had, we enjoyed our companies and from there on, we plan to be together more, so we pulled up our sleeves and dig for information online. At the end of that I was in a bus heading to singapore, taking a cab to the singapore Changi Airport and boarding a plane after (looking at the new ipod in the tax free zone) well it was kind of scary. but i kept going. i was nervous but my heart made me walk and kept me breathing calmly. I reached in New Zealand on the 18th December in Christchurch, is a very long ride after that up to Nelson. ( A whole bunch of families with 2 german shepherds in a family van with my boyfriend)
This is a really long story as I was re-reading at the top, but my point is that your post has made me realised the unfortunate events turn out to be quite good. I love nz, especially wellington, (minus the ambulance/cop cars flying around) and i found out that i could design and sew juggling part time work and classes as well. I am at the moment learning how to sew with a lady who use to teach at fashion tech nz and was a costumer at the royal ballet nz. i wish to stay in nz and study a lot more sewing and living this very nice happy peaceful life in wellington.
Thank you gala for writing lots of articles I can relate to and thank you for making me see the stars. :)
Everyone hope for the best! :)
:)
I moved and had to go to a high school where I knew absolutely nobody. Despite my anxiousness, it honestly brought out the best in me. None of these people knew anything about me. None of these people could judge me based on things I feel guilty for having done. I made a lot of friends, and I met a lot of people who are great and I’d otherwise have never known them.
Oh man, I planned this big sustainable photography project, invited a few people I thought were great to get involved, and things just did not go how I planned. I ended up working on the project alone, but in doing this I learned to be more independent, as well as learning some video production skills. Just goes to show you don’t have to do what your friends do, you can do more!
I also once got turned down for a job I thought I could do with my eyes closed (Hallensteins!!!) and was mortified. But ended up getting offered the job I thought was way out of my league – & it got me where I am today careerwise
Also, after finding no way around American immigration policy, I settled for moving to London. It wasn’t my first choice, but I love the life I’ve built here & the people I’ve met!
I think I’m in one of those moments right now. I’m in a new area, I’m away from everything I know and I have this sneaky feeling that it’s all for my own good. Man, oh man, I have awful days, but I know I will look back on this time and think of it as the best time of my life. Not because of friends (I have none), or the atmosphere (it’s been an adjustment), but because I followed my dream, I actually made it happen, and even though it’s tough sometimes I know that I am balls deep in self reflection right now. What a great post Gala. It’s a great message.
I really don’t ‘believe’ in university. There are definitely other ways to enhance your life!
I continuously applied for other jobs when I had my first job, but luckily I didn’t get them otherwise I never would have met my partner (who I worked with) & my amazing girlfriends! I often think about who/what/where I might be if I’d found another job— I don’t think I’d be blogging / photographing so much & I’d probably be hanging around with some people who are just not good for me. Phew!
There is also something to be said for destiny.
I quit art college because my parents couldn’t support me and I had to get a job, and I thought that I was doomed to a life sat behind a boring office desk.
Lo & Behold, I’m now a Fine Art student, thanks to my thrifty wit and the boyfriend helping me through hard financial times. I don’t think I’m going to be an Artist, but I have always been enchanted with the idea of becoming an Art Teacher.
This if from my personal ‘things happen for a reason’ file (this is a bit longwinded):
The evening before my last uni exam ever (or so I thought), I took the train back, and an elderly lady gave me a leaflet with the lyrics of a hymn on it. How we should surrender our journey’s to a higher power, and trust in it to lead us right.
I failed the exam the next day and had to do another semester at uni. THose were really miserable months for me, and I felt like a useless, stupid waste of space for most of them. When I was at my lowest, I thought, ok, what do I want to do with my life? Easy: move to the UK and work there. What’s a good working opportunity? Use my language skills and teach. I went and cancelled the lease to my flat the next day, and prepared to move in with my parents after uni to save money and get some extra qualification.
A week before my final exam (this time it really was) I went to say goodbye to a professor who’d helped me immensely along the way. He asked me: what are your plans? I told him what I’d decided, and what happened? He told me that a colleague of his had just this morning asked him to recommend a student to send to a uni in the UK for a teaching post. 5 minutes later I had my job interview, 2 weeks later I had the job, 1 1/2 months later I emigrated.
I’ve lived here for 4 months now. My job is brilliant, I have more friends than ever before, I have a car, most of all: I have an amazing person to share my life with, who loves me and who fills my days with joy.
Did I think the world would end when I failed that exam? Absolutely. But in the end, it led me to where I clearly was meant to be.
hey:)not about the university post (I’ve graduated one already:)) but I’m attending the icing transformation challenge. I couldn’t start yesterday, I wasn’t ready, today is my first day. I hope everyone will be succesful. Love ya,
Although I did get into the university that I wanted to, I didn’t get into law which was my first preference and I was absolutely shattered!! However I think it was for the best as I was accepted into economics instead. In one of my very first macroeconomics lectures a very cute boy sat next to me who I had admired from a far. That was over five years ago and we are still madly in love. And I am now an economist, which I really enjoy. So you see if I got what I thought I wanted five years ago I would never have the fantastic job I have now, nor would I have met my soulmate :)
I love this. I actually got accepted into my first choice college, and when I went for orientation, I started crying b/c I felt in my gut that it was the wrong place for me. I ended up going to a regular state university, but I had the time of my life. I met some amazing people and learned things I couldn’t have learned anywhere else. Looking back, I’m so glad I didn’t go to the other school, even though it was a good school and I had a scholarship. My life now is so amazing. You just have to go with what life brings you, have the experience and love it, whatever it may be.
I am LOVING these stories!
I got sick with a chronic illness, and nothing’s ever been better for my emotional growth. It made me grow up from the whiny & miserable teenager I was before. It sounds weird to say it out loud, but I’m damned grateful that I got sick.
Over two years ago I got really, really sick. Missed my junior year of high school, was at school part time as a senior, and then managed to graduate with my class. My twin brother and all my friends are off at college now, but I’m taking the year off. I’m at home recovering, taking classes, writing a fashion blog, and working as a freelance writer/columnist. It’s not the conventional path, but it works for me. Next year I’ll be at college too. Yeah, I was thrown a tough deal, but the fact is so much good came out of it. That kind of thing really helps you learn to know yourself as a person; how tough you are, your strength and optimism. I had all this solitary time to fill when I felt well enough, so I started a fashion blog, which has really changed my life for the better. I’ve been taking classes at a school that is amazingly diverse, a huge change from my white upper-middle class small town school system, and it’s been such a cool experience. I may have missed out on a lot of high school things, but I’ve gained so much that most people don’t have the opportunity to gain until they are finished with college. Lemonade from lemons, if you will :)
I just finished a PhD… I went straight to University from school. Although I don’t regret it, being as it was intellectually challenging and I met many cool people, I think I would have achieved more if I’d had a year or two off first. Don’t fret, universities are not going anywhere, but you are!
Gala, I swear you’re psychic – I was just MSN-ing one of my friends about this!
I’ve applied for a Media & Photography college course (I’m British so it’s not quite like uni just yet) & am currently waiting for an interview..ughh, so nervous! Fingers crossed that I get in.
Plus I totally believe in thinking of supposedly ‘bad’ things as an opportunity rather than an obstacle – such a good philosophy to have.
A couple of months ago my boyfriend and I were so bad off with each other and stressed, we only stayed together cause neither of us could afford to leave. We were so poor we had no other option than the work through it and face it head on.
It was the best thing that ever happened to us. We’re getting married in May.
My situation is one thats still hurting me but I know is definately for the best.
I have just come out of a 2year long distance relationship, i knew things were bad, there wasn’t a lot of love left and he got angry at me and called if off.
it hurts to think someone doesn’t want you and to realise that you’re alone and a lot of stuff you had pinned your hopes on has gone but deep down i know he was not the one for me. i deserve to be treated better than that. to have some one kiss me and smile rather than say “ugh that lipstick tastes like shit” etc.
Needles to say I’m now a late entrant into the Icing Transformation Challenge! I need to be happy on my own.. I have always hated being on my own even for short periods of time and now i’m going to have to get used to it. and I’m also gonna try update my style and work on getting myself organised. phew.. big rant :)
The modeling (3d) modeling class I entered last semester didn’t open because I was the only student there. Instead of the class, we did a modeling workshop and now we’re working on making a 3d model virtual pop-up book, which is turning out to be incredibly awesome! We’re presenting it as a project for Engineering Week at college.
Also this semester I took the animation class and all my friends came along with me and we’re all taking the 3d modeling class next semester n_n.
Kisses.
ooh, i didn’t get into the uni i wanted! i was gutted, and pissed off that the uni that accepted me was so far to travel there and back every day. but i made a bunch of amazing riends and i’m going back for an honours year this year, it worked out!
meanwhile about half of the people who got into the city unis doing their dream courses dropped out after 1st year. so it’s not where you go that determines how fun your degree is!
I didn’t get into my first choice performing college— so instead I decided to explore other options at the university I that I was accepted into. I ended up discovering what I LOVE (foreign policy & international relations), doing well in it, going to conferences, etc, and now I want to go to grad school for it. It opened me up & taught me to think in an entirely different way. I still didn’t give up performing, I acted part time in shows when I could, and am actually now Director of Finance at a non-profit theater. It’s great, I get to combine the best of the worlds I love!
I can totally relate! My college of choice (Virginia Tech) turned me down three times (early admission, got wait-listed for regular admission, then the flat-out no,) and then I wound up going to my second-choice (Randolph-Macon Woman’s College), intending on transferring to Tech at a later date. I felt really stupid and like I must be an idiot for not getting into Tech, especially since everyone told me there was no way I wouldn’t get in. But once I got to RandyMac, I found myself absolutely loving it.
RandyMac has a totally different environment than Tech, and I think it’s definitely changed me into a better person and offered me an opportunity to grow and become more self-confident, whereas at Tech I’d probably still be really self-hating and lack a lot of of the confidence I’ve gained.
And then we went co-ed and I got bitter, but we won’t talk about that. Ahem.
I went to university right after high school and it happened to be the right choice for me, but it might note be for everyone else. I knew people from my high school who really wanted to get in but couldn’t and spent a couple of years taking courses at local colleges and earning credits, then applied for a transfer. Not only did they have equivalent standing once they transfered, their experience at the college prepared them to be better students, so in the end it was a blessing in disguise. Conversely, I knew people who couldn’t cut it in their first year of university and decided not to finish. It’s about what’s right for you.
When I was in highschool, I found the most perfect university program when I was in grade 10 and obsessed about it, lusted after it, read and re-read the course catalog a hundred times, planned out my first year courses, etc etc.
And then I didn’t get in.
I hadn’t even applied anywhere else.
As it turned out, other schools were still accepting late applications so I applied to another school intending to transfer after first year, but then I got involved in student council and the newspaper and a million other things and ended up staying! Now I’ve graduated with an amazing degree that I never would have thought of if I hadn’t been rejected from the first school. Obviously life is what you make of it and I’m sure I would have had a great time no matter where I went, but I’m so happy now and have such amazing friends that my ‘second choice’ school turned out to be a great experience!
i love university a lot, i’m having a blast there – but i know that it’s not for everyone. and let’s face it, i’m doing a fine art degree – it’s not like i’m just getting a degree so i can get a good job out of it! ;) honestly, i firmly believe in “do what you love and fuck all the rest”. this could be the best thing to ever happen to you!
Gala, you are such a star!
this is something ive been panicky over for months and months now.
everyone asks me if im at uni or when im going, but really i dont want to.
i know and feel its possible to have a good life without having to go the traditional route and being in debt from education.
xo
You are right, University isn’t the only way. Its the route I have taken, but my sister didn’t get the grades and now she owns her own business and is loving it. We took different paths but we have both ended up places we love, so it all worked out in the end =)
Well, about a year ago I was passed up for this promotion at work. It was something I knew that I could do. The company chose an outsider, and I felt so betrayed b/c I had worked there for a couple of years, and I thought that I would at least be seriously considered.
Friday, the woman who was chosen over me, was laid off. She said that I must be happy right now that it was her and not me. Yup!
Things always happen for a reason:)
I dropped out of uni at the start of my second year, and worked full time in my dull checkout job.
I got three things out of this experience:
1. A promotion from checkout to refunds…slightly better pay with a lot less boredom.
2. I figured out what I wanted to do, and started to set things into motion to get there. Now I am three weeks away from starting my first semester of a bachelor of nursing.
3. I reconnected with my best of all best friends, and who is now doing nursing as well!
The six months I had off also allowed me to connect with my boyfriend more, and ultimately realise that we weren’t meant for each other. I shed a lot of emotional baggage, and cleaned myself up as a human being, and now feel a lot more settled and mature.
Everything happens for a reason, and although not being at uni, and being completely directionless for six months felt like the worst thing at the time, it was truly invaluable, and I don’t regret it for a minute!
How appropriate! My not getting into my big-super-dream school was the BIGGEST blessing in disguise! If I HAD been accepted, I would’ve moved quite a bit away and probably have been miserable. But thanks be to all things lovely, I ended up going to a back-up school, and because of that, I met the fella I’ve been dating for three superb years now!
I wish you had written this sometime last year, before I figured it out on my own! I didn’t apply to any schools at the end of last year, and I panicked a little bit. I didn’t know what I was going to do and I felt like a failure. But you’re right. I got over it and I spent some time figuring out exactly what I wanted and saving up money for when I did go to school. :)
I love this! Although I’m kind of slow in seeing these things…
I tore my ACL and volleyball was kind of sort of my life. So i was devastated and going crazy. (literally, my cousin can vouch for that!)
Anyway, it ended up being the best thing that’s ever happened to me because I got to do theatre and get way more outgoing, make a ton of amazing friends, and lose a lot of really bad friends. I’ve become much more independent without all that team stuff and I’m still not incredible but I am a much better person!
My family even admits they like me better now!
I have started volleyball again but I’m not letting it run my life any more. YAY! :D
I didn’t end up going to university and my life is definitely not over! I’m a graphic design who’s taken an intensive year of college studies (to get the basics and whatnot) and self taught the rest. I have a career in a great company and am the youngest. The salary is great (wouldn’t hurt to have more but I’m still considered a ‘beginner’, so all in good time!) and the hours too which means I still get to enjoy life. So don’t worry about it. You’re going to find something else and you have plenty of other options, so no, your life is definitely not over, it’s just the beginning to a wonderful ride! :) Good luck!
I missed out on a full time job in a small agency that i really wanted – the next week I got a call to come in and build a treehouse…..now I go there everyday and giggle about how clever it is – its all over in 10 days which is sad but this time I’m ready for the next thing – which will be just as amazing I’m sure!!
When I was seventeen I experienced a series of unbelievably “disappointing events” which has led to where I am now. Whilst I was taking my final exams in highschool in Indonesia, my mother passed away from a 2 year battle of breast cancer (which is another LONG story, but I won’t write about here).
I couldn’t bear to take my last exam and the teacher at my school was very understanding and said that it would be fine (they would use my mock exam score taken a month earlier as my final). When we contacted the exam coordinator in Europe (it was an international programme) he was very cranky and advised that would not be the case, I would have to wait until next semester to sit the next round of exams.
So all my friends went off to university (mostly to America and Australia) whilst I stayed in Indonesia and took care of my young brother and sister and ended up getting a shithouse job as a life insurance sales person. I studied hard and did okay in my final exam after six months.
At the time, I wanted to go to hotel school had applied to many hotel schools in both Europe and Australia and been accepted into all of them. Unfortunately, my dad was going through a rough time with his newly started up business as he was juggling work, the housewife duties that my mum used to do, and he was financially supporting 6 children. He told me that at the moment, he could not afford to send me to hotel school (which requires private up-front fees as opposed to HECS loans offered at uni).
Imagine my delight when I found that one of the hotel schools I applied to was offering contest for a semester’s worth of scholarship! I hurriedly contacted the hotel school and worked very very hard on the entry essay and soon found out I was one of the six finalists! As they were choosing two out of the six and I had done very well in highschool (my marks were good enough to study medicine/law at a uni of my choice) I was sure I was a shoe in.
The hotel school contacted me to let me know that I would have to meet them for an interiew, which was the next step in the contest. I’m so lucky that my dad was so supportive and agreed to come with me to Australia so I could attend the interview.
So I packed up my whole life in Indonesia (I had been living there since I was 5), said goodbye to everyone and everything that I knew, and visited my mum’s grave one more time. It was really hard for me to leave because I knew I would not be able to come back for a long time.
I came to Sydney and on the second day attended the interview. I was very nervous but I thought I did well. I was interviewed by I think the two heads of the school (one of whom was very rude, answering 2 personal calls during the interview). I went home happy and waited for them to contact me.
Imagine my disappointment when they called me the next day to say that I did not get the scholarship. I cried and cried and cried. My dad called them back to get some feedback and they said it was because I did not appear confident and I was not wearing appropriate shoes. I still think to this day, why did they bother making me come all the way from Indonesia if they thought that there was a chance I wouldn’t get in?
Anyway, my dad (and younger brother and sisters) had to go back to Indonesia to close up his business and was planning to move the family to Australia in six months time. However, when looking at living and real estate prices in Sydney (where he’s originally from) it seemed so unaffordable. So he looked at other cities close by, including Brisbane which is much more affordable.
I ended up applying to a uni in Brisbane, doing Business Management majoring in Hospitality Management. Fast forward to now (seven years later!) and I’ve graduated from my first degree and found that hospitality isn’t even my ‘thing’, I love accounting. I’m now one week away from completing a Master of Professional Accounting (something that my shy 17-year-old self thought she wasn’t smart enough to do!). I’m proud to say that I (mostly) supported myself through uni and did not give my dad the burden of paying tuition fees.
Most importantly, I found my soulmate here and I would have never met him if I didn’t come to Brisbane! We live in a beautiful apartment that we bought and renovated together, right on the Brisbane River. My family lives about ten minutes from me and they love good ol’ Brissy too. Life is very very good!
I rarely think about the stupid exam coordinator and hotel school heads as they do not compare to all the beautiful things that have happened since then. I’m just glad that I didn’t end up going to some school run by dicks. Funny how I’ve found my niche and I guess it was just the universe telling me that the little life plan I had wasn’t for me.
Sorry this ended up being so long! Love you Gala and wish I could have read this article back then! xx
Take it from me. I dropped out of Two top universities, both my senior year (yet my mom still loves me!), as one of the top students of my classes both times.
Unless you want to be a doctor, I feel its pretty pointless. At least in my experience, those that follow the traditional path are always anticipating the next “beginning” and set themselves up for disappointment. Highschool -> ok gotta start Uni -> graduate -> ok gotta send out the resumes to start that job.
I have to admit I felt disappointed in myself when I decided to change majors the first time (at the age when most of my classmates were graduating). And also leaving Parsons my senior year. But all my fellow classmates have no graduated and I’ve still gained experience on them as they’re hopping from internship to internship while I’ve had 2 years to build my own line.
I don’t know about all your other readers, but I come from the school of “Fuck climbing up the ladder. The easiest way to be #1 is to start your own business/career”
after my first two years at university i wanted to switch schools to be able to pursue a different focus in my studies. there was exactly one ideal university to do this. but i didn’t get in. so i made up my mind and changed schools anyway. i had a really hard time finding a place in the new town which meant i had to commute. after the first week at the new school when i was already getting acquainted with everything and chosing my courses i received a letter from the school i had actually wanted to go to. so i did go there after all, a week late though which meant that all the good courses seemed to be full and all the other newcomers already wrapped up in friendships. i also had to start looking for a place all over again – but realized how lucky i had been not to have found a room at the other place. this time i was more successful and found the most amazing apartment. there was another one available in the same house and i could pick the one i liked better. a few days later i overheard another girl complaining about how hard it was to find a place. i told her about the vacant apartment in my house, she moved in there, and we became the best of friends.
also: i once didn’t get a job i had really wanted and been counting on which left me completely devastated and hopeless. this lead to me applying for an internship at the agency where i am now employed and where i love the work i do so much more than i would have at the other place.
these stories need to be told, so thank you so much for asking for them, gala! i think it can be incredibly inspiring to hear how something great can come out of a disappointment.
In August 2006 I recieved my exam results which weren’t enough to get me into university, after months and months of intense studying and a lot of family drama.
I was crushed, but managed to pick myself up to repeat my exams in October 2006, with an extra topic which’s result had been deleted because I was repeating.
In January I got the results and failed AGAIN.
My headteacher called me to her office “You have no future, I really think you should just kill yourself”
Less than 6 months later, I had moved back to my homeland (by some amazing twist of luck) and began working as an Programme Editor in a TV Station. I’ve been doing the job for almost two years now, and I just started a Foundation Degree here, where I belong. I’m studying and working at the same time.
Some twist.
There is a stong belief that my parents have that if I don’t attend university (preferably straight away) then I shall become and do nothing worth while. Having finishes school last year and just starting to put out my feelers in ‘adult life’ it’s rather daunting when you’re told that.
While I did get my first preference I just don’t see the point of spending a lot of money on a degree which I’m not even sure about yet.
In total agreeance with you on this. There are many many more opportunities that await, other than university, and I just bet they are WAY more exciting, for me at least.
Thank you for the positive reminder Miss Darling!
Unfortunate turn of events?
A jealous long term boyfriend broke up with me because he thought I was into a girl.
Turns out, this girl and I are now best of friends and cannot be seperated for anything!
I can think of an unfortunate turn of events which is a blessing: the economic crisis leading to the election of Barack Obama!!
Personally, I do believe everything happens for a reason. Hey, I got rejected from 5 out of 6 universities, forcing me to accept the offer from my least favourite. Four years on I’m still here, loving Brighton (the city where I’m based) & studying a part-time MA: it turned out to be the perfect intellectual & emotional climate for me. So Gala is right, as always!
Gala, you are brilliant.
My senior year of high school I applied to five different art schools and got accepted to all of them, but ended up going to a local state university instead for financial reasons.
I hated it, got into a lot of trouble with drugs and failed half my classes.
I took the following year off to work on my art, ended up getting an amazing design job with a bunch of awesome guys…and then got laid off.
Now I’m moving 2000 miles across the country to open up an art gallery in Phoenix, AZ with my older brother, have paintings displayed at the Heard Museum, and I’ve never been more excited for the next chapter of my life.
University is not the end-all-be-all of life. If I’d stayed in school, I would never have had these amazing opportunities open up.
It’s funny, too—one of my best friends from high school went to one of the art schools I applied to, and regularly jokes that I’m more of a “real artist” than she is.
I decided to take a year off after highschool before I went to Uni. I cannot stress enough how great of a decision that was. I got a full time job. It was actually a rather nasty job but it taught me some serious stuff about myself and about others. I matured a ridiculous amount in that year. I got a sense of what is was like going to work everyday. I now have a clear idea of what I want out of a job and out of life.
Beautifully written! I wish I had read this earlier; it would have saved me a lot of time and heartache. Thank you, Gala!
When I was fifteen (Gala you might know about this one) the NZ school system was a complete in utter mess (in my point of view.) They where just switching from one marking system to another and my year was the year before that. So we mainly tested it out for the next year.
Also that year I moved schools not once but TWICE my first school I absloutly loved I managed to make great friends there. However my second school I soon realized that I had made the wrong decision in following my parents. We moved halfway through the school year which I absloutly despised and generally because of that it screwed up my exams entirely however two years later, my new school introduced Tourism as a subject and I ADORED it.
After school I went straight to Travel Careers and Training and I think that was one of the best decisions I made. It made my confidence levels grow a lot. However once I graduated from that I had constent ‘no’s from jobs. Which lowered my self esteem.
Last year I got a job at buger king which I absloutly hated but it taught me a lot. It helped me decide what I really wanted to do and so in October I applied for a Tourism Managment Degree. Even though I failed my exams I applied as a mature student and last week I found out I got in.
I’m happy with what I’ve acheived so far and I can’t wait to see what else life throws my way.
I actually got into all the colleges I applied to, but I feel like I’m meant for more in life than just college and studying .. we’ll see where it goes. Maybe somewhere brilliant. I have that feeling :)
i remember being so angry that my parents didn’t want to pay for me to go to college. all my friends were going and i felt so left out! however, six years later, i have a fulfilling career, and some of my friends who did go to college are struggling to figure out how to apply their degree to real life.
props to you, miss gala for getting behind the idea that college is not the only way!
EC : Splitting with my husband! At first, I was so utterly devastated, but I (very) quickly realized I wasn’t upset about losing HIM, I was mad that I had to move out of my house and rebuild a life for myself. Once I started my reconstruction, I was so happy that all the nonsense that came along with what I had “lost” was gone.
I’m happier now than I have ever been in my life, and doing things for a living that I actually enjoy.
PS – I went to college 3 times, and all 3 times dropped out. I was supposed to go again right when the marital split happened (literally – my first class was the following morning), but now I’m happy with the way things worked out.
This post is just completely true. In 2006 I was in my last year of high school, still full of doubts about what I should do, but applied to uni anyway, because it was just “what you do”. Biggest surprise of my life, and got into a top uni, but failed in school! In Brazil the process of getting into a uni and graduating from high school is completely separate, so crazy things like this happen.
And I was crushed. Even though I didn’t even knew if I really wanted to do the major I had applied to, not graduating on high school made me feel like I was the dumbest person EVER! And then in 2007 instead of learning from my mistakes (I felt school was so boring and pointless that I dished most of my classes), and start studying for a change I got caught up in web of insecurity, depression, self-loathing… I would go to school and try my best not to make eye contact with people, because for me all they were thinking was “Look at this girl, she’s dumb, she’s a failure”. And I know it sounds kinda ridiculous now, but it was exactly like I felt. And then I started dishing school more and more, till a point I just stopped going to school altogether. Surprisingly my school did nothing about it, and my parents only founded out because I told them, trough a letter, months after, while I was away at a friends house. In that letter I didn’t only told that I had stopped going to school but also how I felt about so much stuff I kept for years (problems with my dad, mostly).
The act of me writing this letter made me have my first honest conversation with my dad, something that totally changed our relationship. It’s not perfect now, but it’s definitely getting better everyday.
Now, 2009, I just got accepted in the uni that has the best design program in Latin America. And I was not only accepted but got the best grades to get in (In Brazil, to get into a uni you do a series of exams, and the people with the best grades get in). And not only that, but after all this I know myself a lot more, changed my mind about what major I want (In 2006 I got accepted in a Cinema program, and now I’m going for Design), and even if I’m not perfect, I feel I’m a much better person now. And you miss Gala, also has a lot to do with it!
My boyfriend of 3 years told me he wasn’t coming back to spend the summer with me for university break. I was so upset because I felt like I valued our relationship a lot more than he did. So I decided to study abroad in Australia for that summer rather than spend it moping and pining for him. While in Australia I ended meeting the single most magnetic and attractive man I had ever seen in my life. I told myself not to get involved, that it was “a waste of time,” and “silly.” And then a tiny voice in my head said “take a chance.” So I did. 4 years after that trip, I am now his wife, living just off the beach in Australia! And to think…I had thought I was “supposed” to marry the other guy!
That one little upsetting twist of fate led me to the thing that has made me the happiest. I’m now in a relationship with someone that values me and my dreams in their entirety. I think “organic progression” is the perfect way to phrase it Gala, and saying it that way is so much more satisfying than “go with the flow.”
Thank you so much, this entry was so moving. Along with all the other peoples comments.
I’m going start applying for colleges in the upcoming fall, but I’m already stressing about it. I keep thinking what if I don’t get into any, but this really makes me feel better. Not only with colleges, but with my other worries too. Like if I’m going to get my internship or just how my life is going in general.
Thanks!
I followed my boyfriend to this small town I didn’t want to move to, and I got the only job in my field within a month of moving there – art gallery coordinator. I wouldn’t have gotten a job like that in my city of origin, where there would have been many much more experienced and older candidates to pick from.
i have a somewhat similar dilemma i have been going through right now.
i am right about to finish my undergrad major in environmental science, but without any research experience because i thought that i did not want to be a lab scientist (until recently). i was quite lost over the course of my four years, and i had no idea what area within my major i even wanted to specialize in. and now when i am applying to graduate school programs, i found out that i need some kind of research experience to back me up… the bottom line: i screwed myself over.
but the good news!: i am taking a year or two off from school to find out what exactly i want to study within the environmental field. and hopefully sneak my way into a lab somewhere to do research on a topic that i am passionate about.
my suggestion to would be to take the time to really figure out what you want to do and go after it. i made the mistake of not thinking things through, and i regret that.
I have been in University going on 8 years (it’s been a long haul) and have worked in an admissions office for a couple years…and here is my 2 cents.
1. You may think that you know what you want…but you probably don’t (and that’s my experience with myself and 3 degrees). I thought I knew what I wanted for my PhD but when I started working on my masters in the same area…Boy was I wrong! It is so hard to tell what is going to be the perfect fit until you try it out. If you got into a 2nd or 3rd choice university, give it a shot…you can always transfer if you don’t like it.
2. If you did not get into university at all…don’t worry about it. First of all, the only important aspect of college is the fact that you have a little paper. Real world experience is much more important. Go out and get a job, preferably one that is related to what you want to do, and give it a try. You will get some experience and also start networking/making connections. Even if you can’t get a job in a related field, doing something will show that you’re not just sitting around at home. Second, in the US kids are encouraged to go immediately to college after graduation. I think this it’s a pretty bad idea, because then they get to university and have no freaking clue what the real world is about. Get a job, save some money, and then go tramping around the world a bit! Who knows when you’ll get another chance!
As for my story? I was dating this total ass clown (he cheated on me, called me crazy, lied to me all the time, and made me pretty miserable with myself) and we got into a fight in which I told him never to call me again. The next day I felt sorry and left him a message apologizing. Apparently he never got the message. He also took my “never call me again” seriously for about a month. Fortunately for me I met my current boyfriend of the past 3 years about a week after the phone call incident and we hit it off immediately. He is super wonderful and the most honest guy ever…Dear Verizon, thank you for having the worst service ever, you saved my sanity & gave me a great guy (o:
love this post! i got laid off from a job that i absolutely adored, which put me in some serious money problems for a good month or two.. along with being relatively crushed. but at my next job i met my lovely wonderful current boyfriend! :)
I didn’t get into my first choice of university, so I had to really think about where I wanted to go versus an automatic reaction of “yes, I’m in, that’s where I’m going”. And it turns out that I picked right. If I hadn’t picked my school, I never would have met one of my dearest friends, and I never would have met my first really serious boyfriend — we were together for three years.
And then, when I was about to graduate, I applied for the JET Programme to teach English in Japan, and I was waitlisted and ultimately declined, despite being a star in the Japanese program at my university. I was miserable about it, but honestly I realized I wouldn’t have been happy being a teacher. And when I actually went to Japan, I realized I wouldn’t have liked living there longterm, either. (And, had I been there, I wouldn’t have met my second really serious boyfriend.)
I look back often and think about what would have happened and who I would have been had those two disappointments not happened the way they did, and frankly, I’m glad that things happened this way for my own sake.
I’m at uni and last year I started taking Spanish. I already spoke French so I thought it would be a breeze. WRONG! The classes were crazy, but the teacher was into art and would always give us a talk on Spanish art. I had to work really hard and ended up failing by 3 marks from 100. I was heartbroken. But the art really interested me so I decided to take art history and ended up getting some of the highest marks in the class. I thought I was such a bad student, but I just hadn’t found what I was good at yet.
I am starting to sress about the crazy amounts of work my subjects for this year involve, but this post has relaxed me. I’m going to work hard, and if things don’t turn out the way I want – I’ll know I did my best.
Wow, this is really resonating with a lot of people. That helps put things in perspective – I’m not alone in going through all this!
I’m in law school and at the point where I’m supposed to be getting a job at a law firm for after graduation. But for some reason nobody seems to find me all that employable, despite my accomplishments and all the fearless and fabulous life experiences I’ve had. Today I came home and bawled on my boyfriend’s shoulder for almost 3 hours.
But it was a much-needed smack in the face because I’m letting myself get sucked into this hype that I never wanted to be part of in the first place. I didn’t go to law school for this, and it’s not what I care to do with my life. And the jobs I’m applying for, although interesting and not half bad for making a living, are likely to come with some personal sacrifices that I suspect might not be worth it. So if I don’t get a job it just might be the best thing that could happen. I just might take this degree and run away without a plan, chasing adventure and love and my own dancing spark!
Thank you, Gala. Thank you thank you thank you! You are such a gift!
Great post Gala!!
I couldn’t agree with you more. In my senior year of high school I had fairly low math grades so I got very discouraged and I didn’t even apply to university. I had this idea in my head that I wasn’t smart enough or good enough for that type of thing. Of course, This left me with another problem though, I had no idea what the heck I was going to do with my life! I wanted to travel but I just couldn’t afford too. My parents were more than willing to help me financially but only if I was going to school. So I ended up applying to a technical institute where I was taking some business classes a few days a week. I moved about two hours from home, to a completely new city where I literally knew NO ONE! It was extremely hard but it forced me to grow up a lot and sort my priorities out. (plus I made tons of great friends!) The greatest part of all was that since I did so well in my classes I got a fantastic human resources job with a huge company that turned out to be amazing! After working at it for awhile I realized that I loved it so much that I knew it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. The only problem was that I needed a university degree to move ahead in my career. So it came down to that same problem, am I good enough? Can I do it this time? the answer was YES YES YES!!! So here I am two years later, getting closer to the completion of my degree and just generally loving the direction that life is headed for me. Sure I’ve struggled and had a lot of doubts a long the way but somehow I just always end up where I need to be. I have to say, just because you don’t go to university right away doesn’t mean you won’t make it to the place where you are meant to be. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be successful. Trust me, this couldn’t be any farther from the truth. Go take some classes that will apply to the program you are interested in, and see if it’s really what you want to do and if it is then you can probably transfer those classes to the uni that you’re interested in going too. You have so many amazing options! Take the time and explore them all!!
Articles like these keep me coming back to your site.
I completely believe in the idea of everything happening for a reason, because I feel like I’ve experienced it.
To start, I went through a similar situation. Right now, I’m an animation student about to graduate. I applied for animation right out of high school and didn’t get into my first school of choice; so I started at another Uni in their fine arts program.
That year gave me time to think about things (first year in that school was sooo laid back!).
I decided I still wanted to do animation, so I ended up applying for the animation program again, but at another school; one I hadn’t applied to before and one that ended up being the better choice for me.
Not only did that year give me time to think and figure out what school was REALLY right for me, it gave me more time to work on my portfolio, gave me a chance to dabble in all sorts of arts (I got to WELD a sculpture!), mellowed me out (I was super high strung in high school! still am, but I’m better now : D) and I met some of the closest friends I have. Yes, it was an extra year of tuition for a program I didn’t complete, but those friends were worth it.
Plus, I have some art history and fine art experience under my belt to apply to my animations. Yay!
Plus, I don’t want to get into details, but I’ve had relationship troubles before. Without those experiences, though, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to meet the wonderful beau I have today :3
In August 2008, I applied for two very similar jobs at different NGOs, both of which I veryveryVERY much wanted to work for — let’s call them A & B. I did well on both interviews, & realized right away that B was my first choice. The people were great, the job itself was even more interesting & challenging than I had thought, & it felt incredibly, extraordinarily right. I also realized that I was slightly uneasy about working for A — something felt off.
I heard back from A almost immediately; they offered me the job. I hadn’t really thought it out well, but I refused it. I just — couldn’t accept it. I kicked myself for doing so afterwards, but mostly because I couldn’t believe I had taken a decision based on entirely irrational logic, on a sort of feeling I had.
& then B called back, & promptly told me they had offered the job to someone else.
I felt awful. I was jobless & humiliated. It felt like the end of the world. I cried, & kicked myself a whole lot more, & grudgingly went on working in a small organic bakery. & then the strangest thing happened — I started making plans, & thinking up new, exciting things I could do. & just when I had begun to accept my ‘failure’, I received a phonecall from B. Turns out the person they had chosen was not qualified for the position, & they were offering me the job.
I have been working there ever since, & it is quite honestly the best job I’ve ever had. But I also know it’s not my whole life, & I’ve been working on projects of my own since August — some of them veryveryVERY time-consuming & exciting & frightening. But I’m not too worried; I sort of learned to believe in myself. ;p
I also heard from the person who started working for A, & the poor girl quit after a month & a half. Awful working environment, & even nastier superior. ;p
I graduated college in May with a degree in fashion design and decided to move back home and save money because I couldn’t afford to move to a big city. Since May I’ve just been working retail as a manager and not really loving it. My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days after new years. Two days later I did some job searching and found out about an awesome job opportunity through the company’s design/merchandising department… I applied, the first interview went really well and I present a project next tuesday during a second interview :)
I’ve been a lurker for a while and decided to comment. I never imagined that it could feel this good!
Take everything as a learning experience and you’ll be better off for it.
Hear hear! I definitely have experience in this let down turned great opportunity situation! As as senior in high school, I applied to about 13 schools, each of which only accepted about 1 or 2 people for the spot I was auditioning for. I got into 2 schools, one was my backup and the other was too expensive, so I went to my backup. It was close to home and cheap, and I ended up loving it! I’m experience things that I never would have gotten to if I had gone to another school, and this little step away helped me prepare to live out of state. I plan on transferring, but while I don’t want to stay here I wouldn’t trade my experience here for anything, and I know I wouldn’t have liked it otherwise.
I applied Early Decision to my first choice university, which was Ivy League and therefore really an unrealistic goal, but I was sure I stood a good chance despite my lackluster extracurriculars. Everyone had always told me I was so wonderful and smart and so on, and I never imagined I could be rejected.
Needless to say, I was deferred to the regular decision pool, and then rejected outright by my first choice school, as well as my second choice, which was also Ivy League, and waitlisted by the third choice. I got into three schools, two of which I absolutely knew I didn’t want to go to. And so I picked the only option, which had been something like fourth choice.
I couldn’t be happier here. I’m a sophomore, and I’ve picked majors that make me happy, I’m super involved on campus, my friends are wonderful, etc. It all works out- college admissions are such a crapshoot, but if you’re willing to make the best of where ever you end up, it will be WONDERFUL.
I fell for a boy I shouldn’t have— a boy laden with circumstances that weren’t conducive to a forward-moving relationship. But oh, he was cute and impish and made me feel beautiful. Of course, it spiraled into space and I felt less than what I started with (why do we always go there? how come we take endings so personally? it had nothing to do with me!).. and the next day I left for vacation with my family. We were en vacance in the beautiful province of Quebec for two weeks. And yet I couldn’t enjoy it, because I was heartbroken and would sneak into the bathroom at 1 in the morning to cry, so that my family wouldn’t hear. I moped around for days. On a particularly mopey day, while on a boat to an island to see some gannats (birds that mate forever, ironically), my sister turned to me and started to talk about anything, trying to take my mind off things. She mentioned offhand that she needed a play to produce (she’s the president of a drama club at her university). I lamented that I missed creating (I’m an actor). And honestly? voila? We decided then and there to collaborate. And we gave birth to an amazing show based on www.postsecrets.com
And I couldn’t have done it without everything that came before. So thank you Ryan. Thanks a thousand times!
You have no idea how much I have needed to hear this. I come from a highly academic school (graduated year 12 last year =]) always hammering us with how important it is to get a good score and get into uni. Basically, if we weren’t stressing and getting sick from studying 24/7, we were frowned upon and pressured to work harder. The last 2 years of high school were particularly difficult for me (God knows why I chose to do IB) and my parents had to be called in because my teachers were scared that I’d fail. This whole experience has made me aware of that whole mindset: get a good ENTER, get into med or law, makes lots of money.
I don’t regret doing IB, however, as it was a very pivotal point in my life. I never would’ve talked to my teacher about interior architecture, I never would’ve built such a great portfolio and I never would’ve done as well as I have in Studio Art. I didn’t get the ideal score dictated by the other students in my high school but I did get into my first preference which required an interview and portfolio (not an ENTER score) which was a great achievement for me because I’m really shy and quite inarticulate. It just goes to show that the ideal pathway isn’t the only pathway. Plus, I would’ve been miserable doing medicine : D D D
I don’t really believe in destiny or that the universe has a master plan for us, but I think disappointments really show character. For some people it confirms their view that the world has it in for them, for others it’s a just a knockback.
A while back I had two job interview scheduled on the same day. Went to the first and the recruitment agent totally slammed me – said I couldn’t “sell myself” and he’d not feel comfortable sending me for a job! I went into the second interview determined to get the job and show him… and I got it.
I have been thinking about this topic at work all morning! I felt I could apply your thoughts to my current life circumstances. I’m gradually learning to ‘go with the flow’ in all aspects of life instead of getting upset that things haven’t gone the way it was planned or expected. I have decided to view a recent series of personal hardships & tough financial times as a learning & growing experience, to make me stronger and more wise. So thank you for your thoughts this morning.
I agree in the belief that things come to you at specific times when you need it, whether you realise that need or not. For example, a work colleague recently lent me her copy of Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I didn’t have time to read it until I was struck with food poisoning over the weekend & was forced to finally slow down. I haven’t been able to read a book for about 6 months due to various reasons and as a keen bookworm who needs to read like I need air to breathe, it was the perfect book to ease the literary drought in my heart and mind. Have you read this book? I devoured it within a day & am still thinking about it several days later, and have passed it on to other friends. It has been a while since I read a book that has left such a powerful effect on me. It was exactly what I needed & your post got me thinking about this book – why was I given this book at this time and was provided with the opportunity to read it?
Thanks!
i believe that negative things happen to make you a stronger person. they are challenging you to find the positive.
i didnt get into university, and at the time i thought it was the worst possible thing to happen. i eneded up going to a community school, i took amazing classes, had amazing professors, and met amazing people. i got to travel all over america and europe which i would have never had to oppertunity to do if i had gotten into university. i have graduated with a 2 year degree in fashion design and now work as a costume designer.
its funny how things can turn around, i love my life and where it had taken me, and i cant wait to see what the future has in store for me.
You wouldn’t believe how many times things like this have happened to me. Luckily, I firmly believe in everything happening for a reason so I’ve always tried to go along with the flow.
When I finished High School my UAI wasn’t high enough to get into any of the course I had as my first preference (which were design subjects & computer science subjects at Uni’s here in Sydney), but I did manage to get into a course at a Uni 2 hours down the coast through and early entry program that all I had to do was have an interview over the phone & send my trial exam marks (which weren’t amazing either, however I sent my school report too, and I think thanks to the glowing words of praise from my computer teacher, helped me get in).
However, I’d already planned to do a GAP year overseas. For as long as I could remember I’d always, always wanted to go to England. However, I ended up being offered a placement in St Petersburg, Russia! I was so upset and disappointed, but then as I calmed down a bit I decided to take it as a complement that they believed I could handle living there. I didn’t want to decline this fabulous opportunity, as when else would I have even considered travelling to and living in Russia? As it turned out, I had the best 6 months of my life and made some wonderful friend whom I still keep in contact with now.
I’ve just finished my first year of University and ended up not liking my course at all. The course I was doing had much more emphasis on the logical side, as opposed to the creative side, so I applied for a transfer to study Graphic Design instead, even though what I really wanted to do was Special Effects, Film & Animation and things like that.
At the same time my mum hounded me to apply for Universities back in Sydney again. I applied just to appease her, but really didn’t believe I’d get in. I wasn’t old enough to be considered a mature age student yet, they’d probably just pick people based on their UAI – and as I hadn’t been accepted first time around, why would I this time?
While waiting anxiously to find out if I had been successful with my transfer (as annoying, they told us because we were transfer students we wouldn’t find out if we were successful in gaining a place until after they’d given spots to the new entrants first!), I woke up one morning to a very surprising email. I’d gained a place at a very well know Art & Design School doing a course that was exactly what I wanted to do, and much better than what I was trying to transfer into. And although I’d already made plans to move into a house with friends down at my old Uni, I decided this was an opportunity I definitely could not miss out on!
I don’t regret any of the choices I’ve made (and I’ve tried to make up my mind not to regret anything I do, ever!). While some might see my past year at uni as a waste, I certainly didn’t. Coming from an all-girls high school into a course where I was literally one of two girls was such a breath of fresh air. It was such fun to become “one of the boys”. And if it wasn’t for that year of uni, I might not have figured out what to do.
So basically, I’m a pretty good example of how it doesn’t matter what scores you get. As long as you keep trying and take all opportunities, you’re bound to get where you want to go (or learn that perhaps you would be better at something you never even considered!) So now I am eagerly awaiting the start of a new school year & beginning of my new course! (& Sorry for the novel! Haha).
Great post!
Its not the degree that creates value for people. ITS HOW MUCH VALUE YOU PROVIDE THAT COUNTS!
I was planning an overseas gap year with my brother when I met my ex. He started out saying he was fine for me to go and we’d see how things went and then the more serious we got, the more he started to say he didn’t want me to go. I ended up not going because of him and after 4 and 1/2 years I finally broke up with him. He had turned out to be quite aggressive and not the kind of partner I wanted in life.
I could be angry at him and at myself for wasting those years and not going overseas when I wanted to, but in the time we were together, I finished my creative writing course, got a teaching degree and some work experience and now I am a subject coordinator at a school in the UK and loving living over here. My brother lives here too. I am earning much more money and living more comfortably than I would have done working in pubs when I was 19.
It was a bad relationship in the end and the break-up was horrible, but I refuse to dwell on the negative. I’m not angry at him or myself. The choices I made got me to where I am now and I like my life.
Glass is half full… of something delicious.
x
Last year was a horrible, horrible year for me. I was in a completely destructive relationship, but wasn’t strong enough to get out of it. Then when I finally did had everyone turn against me and all our mutual friends take his side because he attempted suicide after I ended the relationship.
So I lost all my “friends” and my world started looking pretty fucked. But, I realised that these “friends” were horrible, fake, shallow, insincere, immature people who I don’t want in my life anyway.
And due to me having to find new friends I started giving everyone I met a go, rather than dismissing them for reasons such as “oh, I’ve already got friends”. I’ve met great people, and I now have a great, great, great boyfriend, with whom I have marriage plans!
I love life, it hasn’t been easy, and this time no more than 5 months ago I was at a very, very low point. Take chances, ditch anyone and anything holding you back!
oh, this is great :) I’m finishing year 11 in school right now, going into year 12, and the only possible path I see is going to university.
It’s all a bit stressful, thinking about getting good grades, studying, universities, money issues, confidence issues… it’s all nerve wracking. I live in China, so I can’t exactly get a job to support myself, since I can’t speak Chinese.
The future is scary! But it’s also very promising. I wanna go to an university in the US and get to meet tons of new, amazing people! Though I’m sure most of my plans are going to change throughout year 12.
Thanks for the uplifting article, Gala!
I got myself sick through bad lifestyle choices as a teenager, the illness progressed pretty bad to the point I was almost a bed ridden recluse for years. Needless to say all of my friends moved onto pastures new, and follwed the typical scholastic timeline that made me feel like I was missing out on everything (college>uni>job etc.). It forced me to understand you really are on your own and that your own choices as just as valid as others, even if your life doesn’t follow that society ridden ‘standard plan’.
Through that time I learnt to make jewellery and 5 years on I have my own business! Now many of my contemporaries who now have all left uni and still have that ‘Shit! What do i DO with my life’ feeling even years later.
Anyway all the good things really are worth fighting for and sticking too. I found that the, as i call it: life thrown at you ‘individuality’ lesson was one definitely worth learning. x
I’d suggest to any reader that if there’s a ‘clearing’ system like there is in the UK that they might give it a shot. It’s where you basically get any spare place at a university. There’s more here. I had a friend who did it – he ended up at Durham (maybe the country’s 3rd university) doing Philosophy and had a whale of a time – much better than the place he’d been rejected by.
Gala I love the comment you left about the path your life has taken. I completely agree that you never know where life is going to take you. When you are young, there is no way you can have regrets. Only choices or events that have made you who you are and will continue to lead you in the direction of who you are supposed to be.
Aw some of these have brought tears to my eyes with a bit of universe loving happiness :)
I broke up with someone a year or two ago, and thought the world was ending along with all my routine and structure. It turned out I could survive on my own, made some amazing friends, and have seen more of life and done my own thing better than I ever did with my old partner. Loved this post Gala xxx
I failed my exams and didn’t get into college. It was horrible at first.
The reason I was going to college was cause I didn’t know what else to do with my life – what now?!
So I bummed about for a while feeling depressed with my life until I realised that I could move and work up town, start a proper life with my boyfriend and reach any goals in my life!
Now? I’m working in this amazing eyeglasses boutique in the posh part of town, staying with my boyfriend – as well as looking for a place of our own and more excited about the future than I ever dreamed possible!!
I first thought that when all my friend’s went to university that I’d be left on my own with no one to have fun with, however the opposite happened. I’ve met some fantastic people, with whom I have more in common with that my friends from school and who have the same mental age as me!
Life
Is
Good.
Thank you so much!!! I’m stressing right now about getting into college and the wait seems like purgatory.
I can relate to this so much! I didn’t get into uni of my choice this year, and although I’m applying for starting in september again, and I was sooo stressed that I didn’t get in. It’s been for the better. I was a lot more insecure and bordering suicidal at the start of last year. Now, I am a lot more in control of my life, living by the day instead of fearing the future. Even though at the moment I am struggling to ends meet and it’s hard, and it will be even harder when I have to pay for college too, I am sure I will make it and I am more determined than ever to make my own choices instead of follow whatever direction other people point me at. :)
I don’t agree.sorry. Its just me I guess
Maybe its because I come from a different type of up bringing. Not getting into the uni of your choice makes the person a failure.
But it was interesting hearing everyone’s story I guess.
Whatever happens – it’s for the best, trust someone who’s been there. Right after high school I got into business school and hated it! Messed up completely, dropped out, took a break and enrolled for literature studies the following year. I’ve never felt more bliss!!! Now I even have a part time job that I love, friends I adore, a guy who adores me… I’d exchange a year for this amount of happiness any time, over and over again!
I love all this stories!
I didn’t get the results to get into my first choice uni and felt pretty much like everything had crashed around me. I really didn’t want to go to my back up as I wasn’t expecting to need it so hadn’t really bothered choosing somewhere I’d be happy.
So I took a massive risk by rejecting my back up and applying to a new university and it’s all worked out amazingly!!!!!! I love my new life so much!! I wouldn’t swap it if you paid my tution fees!!
Yup I totally agreed with you Gala… I am beginning to think everything happens for a reason.
Last year I got really angry at university and I actually quit all of the subjects I was doing. I ended up starting my blog as an outlet afterwards and I’m so happy I did. =) I am so much happier now that I’m not at uni and I actually feel like getting out of bed most mornings.
I’m currently battling the “Tyranny of the Shoulds,” along with one of my friends. I did poorly in a class last semester, one that I was certain I would ace. It was only a C, but it was devastating. I started telling myself that I should have gotten an A. I shouldn’t have had such a problem with that statistics program. I got angry. And worried.
I’m applying to grad schools in the upcoming year. I also have a back-up plan of attending the police academy immediately after my undergrad. Even with the idea of the back-up plan, I still wake up with nightmares that everywhere rejected me.
I’m trying to relax, but it’s difficult. This article makes me feel better about it, especially after reading everyone else’s situations.
A devastating series of layoffs as a graphic designer led me to pursue yoga teacher training.
While my current day job (university admin) doesn’t knock my socks off, I work with lovely people, love to teach yoga, and am finally beginning to see what I want to do with my life. And this “average” day job will give me free tuition to get any further education I want or need!