I Was A Teenage Goth
[ 29 April 2007 ]
What were you like as a teenager?
I was a teenage goth. I blame the internet almost entirely.
For Christmas in 1996, at age 13, I received an internet-capable computer. I started off using Microsoft Comic Chat (ugh!) & quickly moved on to IRC where I would fritter the hours debating the finer points of… oh, I don’t know, some nonsense. I met this guy from Arizona who talked a lot about music, & from him I discovered the first few bands I would ever really obsess over: Korn, Marilyn Manson, Tool & Counting Crows.
Of course, with Marilyn Manson comes the descent into wearing all black. I had black lipstick which was California Colours brand — you could buy two for $5, I think, & I had blue as well. Yuck! I was also quite obsessed with striped stockings. I insisted on wearing a black leather dog collar with red stitching & little spikes coming out of it. Cringe-o-rama. Thankfully I had good footwear — in 1997 my father gave me his credit card to buy some shoes, & I came home with a pair of $360 New Rock boots. He said they looked like something someone with polio would wear. (I still have them today, & my love for them has never faltered!)
I guess I decided to do some researching on ‘goth’ or something, & after being horrified to discover that eldergoths (HAHA!) thought Marilyn Manson was a blight on the name of gawth, I decided that if I was going to do it, I would do it properly. I remember asking my parents for CDs for my 14th birthday — I received The Cure’s Standing On A Beach, Bauhaus’ Volume One & something by Siouxsie & The Banshees. Man, best parents ever! My music taste kept growing from there, & I added bands like Hole, Jeff Buckley, Skinny Puppy, Ministry & The Smiths to my obsessions.
My bedroom was violet with a huge poster of Bauhaus taking up half of one wall. There was another poster of comparable size next to it, of Hole. Jeff Buckley & Joy Division & The Jesus & Mary Chain looked out from above my head as I slept. I hung modified Barbie dolls from my roof — one of these had been coloured bright yellow with a radioactive symbol on her belly. She had an arm coming out of her forehead. I stuck pictures of moody-looking models all over my wardrobe doors.
I had hair extensions — pink, white & blue on separate occasions. My boyfriend at the time bought me a black corset. I would hang out with my 30 year old friends & swig green Chartreuse from the bottle. (For this reason, I can no longer stand it.) I remember vomiting green in my bathroom sink after one of those evenings. On the way to school, I would sit in the backseat of my father’s Porsche, listening to Bauhaus on headphones while reading Anne Rice. I was obsessed with Poppy Z. Brite & alt.gothic & alt.gothic.fashion newsgroups. I had websites at members.xoom.com & terrible journals at scribble.nu. Basically, I was a huge dork.
Now it’s your turn to tell me about your teenage embarrassments!
Super-love & cupcakes,
Gala 
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i grew up about 20 minutes out of wanganui at a beach, so i was either in school uniform, togs! or clothes to get muddy in. later i moved to hamilton and went for a shopping day in auckland, found the little illicit shop on elliot street and bought the place out, from 17 until 21 i pretty much owned everything illicit sold, and chucks in every colour. now i am much older (24) and have a credit card so i get to buy crazy items from all over the internets.
I was a hardcore nerd.
Now I revel in it.
Fashion update: I got my hair cut and am looking ++ sharp – got told I looked distinguished, which is exactly what I was going for.
Am accessorising my customary range of nice shirts (getting into stripes, and one in particular is a lovely warm brown) with a range of nice vests currently.
All in all a very dignified librarian look.
Next up shoes are in the firing line!
Heh I can relate! I too was a teenage goth, though I’ve never called myself a goth or identified with it – everyone else put the label on me. I even was goth tainted while living in the middle east – making me stand out and was constantly too warm. Even though I generally still mostly wear black and red, I woulnd’t consider myself a goth – I don’t club, I don’t get involved in the goth social networks, I don’t really agree to their philosophy, but dammit I love corsets.
I still get called a goth or emo, which I laugh off (http://www.flickr.com/photos/maddymoose/sets/72157594565186152/ to see for yourself). Appearence is only part of what makes you identify with a subculture, I beleive anyway. Apparently Melbourne has one of the largest goth communities in the world, though I’m ready to debate that. Funnily enough, before have a crack at being a goth I was a psuedo skater girl. Bit of a change, no?
Have you read Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z Brite? One thing I’ve noticed with goth related writers, like Rice and Brite, is that they love their homoerotica in their works.
In high school I was enamored of Vali Myers, so I wore a lot of long gypsy skirts and scarves, and did my eyes with big rings of Kohl, which noone could even see because of my baby- blue cat’s eye glasses that were as thick as coke bottles. Seriously.
I was and am a total art dork.
Incidentally, have you heard of Vali Myers? she was the most AMAZING artist. She was from Australia and had a studio in Melbourne, but sadly she died in 2003. She knew Dali.
Hugely embarassing stories about Davide:
I was a champion swimmer and overachiever that totally bailed on it for no reason.
I got put up two years at school (egad geek)
I volunteered as a swimming coach at the Princess of Wales Health Camp.
I was dressed up as Paddington bear on an ad for said health camp on TV and also toured the North Island for charity.
Awww you sound like you had a blast as a teenager!!! I don’t think I had teenage :( I was born with an old head on my shoulders and didn’t quite ever see the teenage point.
Love the imagery in your writing… everytime I see a Porche with a backseat, I’ll picture you sitting there!
I was a teenage punkette, kind of a feminine punk, I shaved my head and wore pretty floral dresses that I would shred to pieces and combine with black fishnets and my trusty old doc martens’ (I still wear them). I wore super feminine 50’s inspired makeup and carried vintage handbags. It was also during this phase that my love for huge dangly earrings surfaced.
In retrospect this sounds schizophrenic but back then it felt so right.
Oh man, I was such a geek. I had braces, lank hair that I always had in a ponytail, a head band (alice band?), terrible skin and I always had my nose either in books or bathed in the green glow of a computer screen.
My fashion at the time was either anything black (because sparklies used to make me cringe) or jeans. Anything else was just dressing up far too much :)
Well I still am a teenager, but I can tell you some cringeworthy things about being in middle school…I was basically exactly the same as you, only dorkier and more Hot Topic-y (As I said…cringe…) and I also was completely obsessed with manga and anime. I still love a few mangas passionately, but not nearly to the extent I did then…
I wore a lot of silly bracelets, almost up to my elbow, and bindis on my forehead, and big black pants. I listened to whiny emo bands (of which I cannot even tolerate nowadays) and thought it was so intense to wear my patent-vinyl dog collar at all times. :p
Nowadays I don’t really identify with anything…just a love of good books, good goth music (still) and good fashion.
I thought that giant (read 32 inch bottoms) jeans were an excellent fashion idea. When I look back I realise that if the ankle of your pant is significantly larger than your waist, it probably isn’t a good look!
To make matters worse, I predominantly wore mens clothes and shoes. With my short hair, I’m not sure it was a good idea…
My favourite look from my teenage years was definitely my blue taffeta skirt that I wore with doc Marten boots. Now that I (perhaps mistakenly) still think looks cool!
Today I just kind of go with whatever my mood tells me to wear, which is usually something basic with a bold accent. I am all about shoes however, and own way to many! Black capris with red knee high boots is a personal favourite look!
aw, i’ve been reading and loving your blog for a while, and should have chosen a better time to delurk (hi!), but…
i was a teenage goth too, and went through a long period of reading everything on a.g.f daily. the internet was hugely responsible, because i was one of those kids who never really found a niche in school and the wider goth community was a nice change from that. maybe.
i went through a musical shift eventually that brought the smiths/siouxsie/the cure/the jesus and mary chain/joy division along with me into an indie kid phase, with more corduroy and eventually dressing all in brown instead of black.
today it’s more wanker design nerd/riot grrrl hangover, which is what “whatever the hell i like” turns out to be. :D
Those photos are so cute! The first one is gorgeous with the fringe and the glasses and the dark hair and the arm-warmer thingies. The second one you look about nine – awww!
I was an 80s teenager, so there was acid-wash denim and shoulder pads and white ankle boots. I tried to perm my hair but it is so defiantly straight that it never worked. But I did have a teased-up fringe. I lived in an isolated small town and saved my lawn-mowing money for the annual trip to stay with cousins in Hamilton and buy clothes in places like Shanton and Warehouse Clothing. It was great!! I was into school and dance and drama. (Now I feel old . . .)
i dressed like i was a little boy punk despite the fact that i was a little girl. i even had a mohawk that was a source of numerous fights with my parents. [but i think i still am at heart.]
Blackberrymoose — Yes! Exquisite Corpse is amazing. That & Lost Souls were very influential in my teenage years. I was obsessed with Nothing & Zillah, haha.
Ruth — Wow, Vali is amazing… I didn’t know who she was but I just read a little bit about her. She was crazy looking, facial tattoos !! She seemed really amazing, & I love that she split her time between Melbourne & the Chelsea in NYC... sounds like me ;D
Robin — My teenage years were pretty cool but I wouldn’t say they were insanely wild or anything. I’m an only child & my parents always treated me like an adult so I’ve never really felt the need to rebel or be stereotypically teenage.
Kallirhoe — Sounds like you have style! Do you have photos?!
Lisa — a.g.f. was my obsession. I used to love that ‘what are you wearing’ thread, it was so interesting to read!
Freshman year I thought I was Avril, sophomore year I was dressed blatantly “scene” with cut off tights and pretty skirts, junior year I wouldn’t shower to make a statement (?) and my senior year I dressed fairly plain but with some kind of unique something on. That was vague, haha.
oh boy. let me preface this by saying that I was known as the girl in heels, because I was not afraid to wear “grown up” shoes in highschool. I wore black leather pumps more times than I can count.
freshman and sophomore year I dressed like courtney love before she met donatella versace. I wore lacey tops or cut up tee shirts over holey jeans or incredibly short skirts all topped up by a red leather jacket (similar to the one that chrissy hynde wears on one of the pretenders album covers) and incredibly unruly brown curly hair.
junior year was sort of punk meets “scene”. I wore a lot of band tees I cut apart, usually with a pencil skirt and big necklaces, lots of eyemakeup.
senior year was kind of like a mix of all of them. I wore very simple bottoms (clean cuts, straight leg jeans, pencil and circle skirts) with something interesting on top, usually cheap and usually black. I have issues with color. from nineteen to twenty I wore almost exclusively red, black and white. I’ve gotten a lot better.
ooh! also, about once a month my girlfriends and I would have a dress up day where we would all wear dresses, or dress like someone else, etc. it’s one of the reasons I love IDUD!
i was something of a goth from the ages 14-16, although i never admitted it because i never quite fit the goth image, i was the only person in my circle of friends who would venture to mix black with a colour other than red and admit to liking hip hop & the odd top-40 song. i also blame the internet entirely.
The link on my name pretty much covers it.
DUDE. You have changed SO MUCH.
I was a candy kid (raver?) for awhile in the eighth grade though obviously I never went near a rave, I just liked the aesthetic (yeah, Iunno either).
Emiliana — I always thought candy kids were pretty cool… I used to buy some goth magazine (?) when I was at school, & I remember they had an article on gravers — goth ravers. It was awesome! I loved it!
I love this article! I went through a goth-dork phase but I was in the public eye – in a semi-known band at the time and even toured a bit. We were starting to rise in the goth world when I realized it was completely and totally not me, freaked out dropped the old band and formed a psychedelic band with lots of pretty colours and fun fun fun songs. Ah, how we evolve!
Well, I just turned 18, so I’m technically an adult but still a teenager.
Anyway, I can comment on myself, albeit very belatedly.
There was my skank/follower phase, during which supre clothes were all the go.
Then I when I was about 13/14 I became heavily into science fiction and fantasy, and wore a brown skirt and a t-shirt i had ironed the letters “Don’t Panic” onto, Hitch-hiker’s style. This was teamed with my glasses, lank blonde hair in plaits and ugly ugly ankle boots. I listened only to The Monkees, The Beatles and ABBA and wanted to be Marcia Brady. I also wore a lot of faux-hippy gear, and often a Lord of the Rings costume. I spoke Elvish and carried the Lord of the Rings books with my everywhere.
GEEK GEEK GEEK
That lasted until I was about 17, and turned back into a human being. These days, I’m all about the Parisian-mod-ladylike(always wear stockings)-classy look. MUCH better.
I just turned 13 this year and im into avril lavigne“s style, not to be gothic i just like black and other dark colors. i dont want to be goth because im a christian and it wouldnt be good for me in school because i would get laughed at. besides its not really my thing, no offence to anyone who is a goth though.
I was a teenage robert smith….
now im a closet goth at 30.
oh and as far as clothing went Im a guy and it was all black hair, the bigger the better (foot long spikes or teased), loads of black eyeshadow and lipstick and clinique foundation by the bucket load, a wardrobe consisting entirely of priests cassocks, long flowing pvc dresses and tight rubber tops and tights, someone mentioned hardrock boots, they were the shit!
but then in got into I.D.M, the rest is history…
At the age of nearly 23 I look embarassingly identical to how I did at 17. Either I hit on something good then, or I am a terrible stick in the mud. My mum’s finances had gone down the plughole, so my main source of clothes was charity shops. I developed an odd obsession with legwarmers (I used to knit under the desk at school!) and 70s nylon blouses. I don’t wear the leg warmers quite as constantly, but they’re still in the wardrobe!
one word repetitively defines me from 14 to 16. SUPRE.
When I was about 9 all I wore was bright orange leggings, riding boots and a denim waistcoat (and I wondered why I had no friends??)
(too late for been reading this, but…yay xD)
I was an otaku! I loved anime since Dragon Ball, eventhough Sailor Moon was the real start of my obsession. From there I saw every popular -an not so popular-anime in the world, I bought mangas every month with a friend that was just like me, I researched the internet for more serials, and I started to draw. I drew really shitty things back then, but everyone swored that they were amazing (I know now that they were being nice to me hahaha). I dressed like a tomboy, mainly in black; I had a very boring and straight long hair (that I refused to styled, not even ponytails). I never EVER wore makeup, it was against my principles (as well wearing pink).
The end of all this was when I saw the movie The End of Evangelion (the ending of the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion), when I was 15. It was so crazy that I questioned my obssesion to anime. I stopped buying manga, but I still had a terrible style; it was when I lost 10 kilos (I was overweight all my life), that I started wearing little skirts and stuff like that…and then I discovered fashion xD.
I was the biggest nerd. Still are, though..
i was one of those odd «teenage-goth-although-i-don’t-want-anyone-to-call-me-a-goth». that’s right.
i started fully on black clothing when i was somewhere in my 12 years-old.
it lasted to late 16 years old. by this time i became a fully teenage mother & decided to try some more colourful clothing- purple, orange & some red. when i was 18, even white.
now i guess i wear almost every colour, except yellow, which i still can’t stand. i try to keep some of my creativity without falling into clichés (also gave up on striped leggings & net gloves!).
I was a teenage blob! I wore Hot Topic pieces paired with surfer-brand boy shorts. I had a tendency towards black tops because they were easy to wear, but I also owned some of the most god-awful colorful cartoon animal shirts EVER.
I think the one thing I had going for me was my sense of uniqueness. I refused to own anything someone else already had. I’m still like that, if I have a generic shirt you can bet it’s going to be re-worked until it’s a new beast entirely. But I still need to learn to make everything come together in a splash of WOW. I may have things no one else does, but right now my style is still a bit dumbed down.
You were cute. I don’t see anything to be embarrassed about.
Well, I don’t see anything wrong with someone being a Goth. What about those who are in their 40’s and 50’s that are still apart of the Goth subculture (Dinah Cancer, Eva O, Queenie from Pocket Full of Posiez)? I understand you feel that the subculture was not for you. However, it is a life long thing for other. There’s no shame in that.