Keeping Your Relationship Fresh

[ 16 July 2007, 10:25 ]

There are no two ways about it, sometimes relationships are tough. Sometimes, even those of us in the most blissful domestic situations view the single life with a mixture of envy & wistfulness. Sometimes, you just want to be alone, or start new, or even commit bloody murder. If, however, you’re actually reasonably happy with your loved one, it’s usually easier to try & revive things than break up with your lover! Here are some ways to go about it.

<3 Tell your girlfriend to block off a few hours one day this week, then take her on a secret picnic.

<3 Bake together & then pull what we in the business call “a Violet Blue” — meaning your lover feeds you & you’re not allowed to use your hands.

<3 Write lists of reasons why you think your boyfriend is hot/a genius/the best ever, & leave them in secret places.

<3 Communicate!

<3 Go camping at the beach & tell each other ghost stories.

<3 Resist the urge to ‘win’ every argument. (There is no such thing.)

<3 Be vocal about your adoration.

<3 Hold hands when you’re sleeping.

<3 Make up ridiculous names for one another.

<3 Do new things together. Go to the orchestra, the opera, the ballet, little dive bars in Chinatown, the casino, the state fair, art galleries, libraries, vintage clothing stores. Dress up & do it properly, make it an occasion.

<3 Sit in cafes, drink coffee or hot chocolate, & talk. No cellphones, no newspapers, no paperbacks. Just the two of you.

<3 Let him know what you’re passionate about, & vice versa. If you love couture, give him some history & show him pictures. If he’s crazy about arcade games, try to share his enthusiasm as much as possible!

<3 Cook a big meal together once a week.

<3 Spend time underneath blankets.

<3 Make sandcastles at the beach.

<3 Make little films of things you’d like to remember.

<3 Keep polaroids of the two of you in your wallet.

<3 Kiss.

<3 Surprise your lover with weird, small, spontaneous gifts — far more interesting than ye olde “here are some flowers because it’s Valentine’s Day” schtick.

<3 Put some money aside, secretly, then donate it to whatever makes your partner most happy. A massage? A yoga class? A session of indoor rock-climbing?

<3 Send cute/hot/erotic text messages.

<3 Get all your friends together & go out for a meal & dancing.

<3 Draw hearts on your girlfriend’s feet.

<3 Bathe together & then stumble into bed, wrapped in hot towels.


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