14 February 2012, 14:06
Image by Daryl Banks.
Today is Valentine’s Day — in case you hadn’t heard! Now, Valentine’s Day can be lovely. For example, tomorrow, everything pink, red & heart-shaped will be on sale. (Bonus!) & maybe today, someone will write you a nice note or give you some flowers, & you’ll smile. But maybe not.
It’s wonderful to celebrate love between two people. But it’s even MORE wonderful to celebrate the love you have for YOURSELF.
If you pin your hopes & dreams on someone else & expect them to fulfill your every wish & desire, you’re going to be disappointed. No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. A lot of us know that but still we pursue a “perfect love”, waiting for that day when Prince or Princess Charming will come riding over the hill & rescue us from ourselves.
No one can rescue us. We have to do that on our own. Similarly, real love can’t be found in some perfect person. It’s only once we really & truly adore ourselves that we can experience perfect love!
If you don’t really & truly appreciate & value yourself, your relationships will never work. As RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else?”
A major part of RADICAL SELF LOVE & going on the adventure where we discover who we are & what we’re really made of is KNOWING who you are & not apologising for it.
So here’s how to really make love to yourself this Valentine’s Day: Stop trying to please everyone else. Stop trying to make everyone love you. Drop everything that is false or untrue or revolves around someone else’s ideal. Just be who you are!
You cannot make people love you. Either they do, or they don’t. You may think that if you start this business, stop being so opinionated, learn how to bake or lose 10 pounds, you will be more lovable. You think people will shower you with compliments & adoration, & life will be like the high points of a Bollywood musical. Or like this. All the time…
So beautiful, right? But as much as we all want a life full of rainbows & sugar highs, we are always going to come up against obstacles & encounter people who don’t get us, don’t like us, or try to tear us down.
The truth is that no matter what you do, some people will love you, & some people will hate you.
That may be a bitter pill to swallow, but it will free you. It will free you from all the unnecessary bullshit & nonsense you have unknowingly surrounded yourself with. It removes you from false circles of friends, or ridiculous industry insincerity. It extracts you from trying to impress people who will never be impressed by you… & it moves you closer to the TRUE ESSENCE of who you are.
You are magnificent. You are gorgeous. You are a sultry genius, a waterfall of stars. You are a brilliant muse, a glorious deity. You are a blossoming lotus, a crackling thunderstorm. You are a supernova. You are more spectacular than you can possibly imagine.
Pretending to be anything else is simply a disservice to your true self.
Shine on, you crazy diamond,