Radical Self Love Homework Assignments
[ 17 February 2010 ]
Good morning!
Please take a seat. Class is in session!
These questions, statements, ideas are to go into your Radical Self Love Bible! Copy them down, add to them, freestyle them, switch ‘em up. Where are you at?
STOP APOLOGISING FOR WHO YOU ARE & WHAT YOU DO & THE WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Stop prefacing your opinions with “I think” or “I could be wrong” or “It’s just my opinion, but”.
We are often taught to doubt our own intelligence & it’s complete rubbish. You are smart! You are allowed to have an opinion! Don’t invalidate your thoughts before they even come out of your mouth! Be strong in your speech. Anyone who doesn’t like it can go sail it up their ass!
Essay question: Why do you treat your best friend better than you treat yourself? In what ways can you behave more like you’re your own best friend?
Take a RADICAL SELF LOVE photo!
Tell us about a book you love which you think promotes self lovin’! (My picks: Dangerous Angels: The Weetzie Bat Books, Stargirl, Fear of Flying.)
Decide that this is the day that you stop waiting for things to come to you. If you want something, take responsibility for making it your own! GO GET ‘EM TIGER!
How’s your Radical Self Love Bible going, anyway? What juicy tidbits have you filled it with? Your fellow nonpareils & RADICAL SELF LOVE WARRIORS would love to hear your ideas!
Love & love & love,
Tags: the playgirls guide to radical self love Follow me on Twitter! Listen to my latest podcast! Love & Sequins 9: Manifesting & magic-making!
Ahhhhh, Stargirl… I think a re-read is highly in order :)
everyone doing radical self-love this month should read crystal renn’s book “hungry,” it’s amazing!!!
Lol! that’s an awesome portrait you!
Ps. I resently got a love-heart, (my totem) tattooed on me in honour or RSL. My first tattoo YAY!
I was going to give up blogs for Lent but I can’t do it.
I saw your post on Facebook and immediatly gave up.
Soon,I’m going to put my radical self love rolemodels: Lady Gaga,Alicia Silverstone,
I drew a map of things that make me happy & then connected them with curly roads. I also wrote this passage from Tom Robbins’ amazing book Still Life with Woodpecker:
“Who knows how to make love stay?
Tell love you are going to the Junior’s Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay.
Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.
Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.”
I am having so much fun with this! I’m turning my RSLB into a guide for the feeding and keeping of a me. It has a page of “how to cope with difficult moments,” which is a list of reminders of ways to cope with stress. And it has a magical little post-it note (hot pink!) full of ~ing words to describe my dream life: loving, learning, asserting, discovering, etc. It’s got my mantra, and I’ll also be adding quotes. I plan to revisit all the pages with glitter and a variety of scrapbooking supplies in the near future.
My RSL journal is from B&N and it has the saying “Let eht sun shine on me and make me feel special”
and cute poppy flowers all over it!!!
For the girl looking for some radical self love reading— Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s such an inspiring book— how Gilbert takes her divorce and changes it in to this journey of self change, to find a balance between pleasure and spirituality in her life (and traveling through Italy, India and Bali to do it!).
My RSLB is going along great! It’s full of quotes and fancy things! There are loads of pictures in it that all represent things that I believe in! There are always lots of hearts and smiles, reminding me that I am special! I am so very glad you are doing this Gala!
(!!!)
I made a “I am blessed to have…” list, with all the blessings in my life, and what I do to show gratitude for these things. No material things, just what make my life so blessed and happy :)
There’s actually a lot of music in my RSL Bible. It’s a playlist I’m always listening to. For the first time in a while music isn’t emotionally upsetting and I’m loving it.
My fav book is definitively “Kiss My Tiara : How To Rule The World As A SmartMouth Goddess” by Susan Gilmman.
Believe me : you won’t stop laughing and feeling your best after reading it ! :D
Sorry, I mispelled the author : it’s Susan Gilman !
Thank you!
This post(and some of the comments) are just what I needed right now.
The two first points are what I’m trying to work on this month, but I think I got a little lost. Now I’m not.
RSL is a wonderful thing.
Aaah Stargirl! I was in the bookstore the other day and saw it on the shelf and just had to flip through it… Looks like there’s a sequel, too.
Besides Stargirl, I’d add “The House on Mango Street” by Sandra Cisneros and “How to Be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life” by Melissa Hellstern.
Mostly my RSL Bible has been filled with assignments from here! My mission statement/dedication, my answers to the initial questions you asked, a page for a TILT, and I put a lot of stuff down from the 100 ways to start loving yourself post you did a few days ago. I’ll add these statements and prompts as well, and soon I need to put down my RSL S/S 2010 wardrobe concept, since I’ve just about hammered it all out.
Yay! More homework! Thanks, Gala. I’m off to follow your advice.
Anne Lamott’s books on writing and faith are v graceful, funny and loving. ...I’m v grateful for the self love homework… I commented on the first homework that I didn’t know where to start, but I now I’m feeling lots more confident, having drawn and written in my RSL bible about what I value in myself. V Good! Also bought Love and Sequins 1 in the sale and found it both soothing and motivating. I’d thoroughly recommend it :)
Gala, I love your first point- Stop apologizing for your life. It’s YOUR life after all! We’re free to drink too much wine, love hard, make a difference through our actions, our art, our chai tea deliveries. To kick butt and take names on our terms.
I’m a huge fan of Patti Digh’s Life is a Verb. Beautiful reminder of living intentionally and full of self love practices.
Thanks for the reminder this morning- Radical Self Love.
When doing my RSLB, I started writing things I like about me, but could only get up to 13!!!So I was planning to write a letter to my 12 year old me(I was happy, open, free and thought I owned the world at that age), but it scares me a bit.
I like the idea of non apologizing for being me, which I always do, even when I´m right.
I´m also hearing a lot of Astor Piazzola and Carlos Gardel to feel my backgrounds better, feel connected to those who love me just as I am but are 13000 kms away, in Argentina, to imagine I deserve that kind of un conditional love, to remember I come from a strong, fighting, emigrant family(for centuries, to both sides of the Athlantic Ocean), and if they could do this, I can too.
I´ll also try to give myself advices I´d give a friend if she was going through what I´m going through. I´m pretty sure it´ll take me more than this month to do this, but I´m also sure this will do me great.
Thank you so much to you all!!!
Dr. Seuss GREEN EGGS AND HAM
it promotes self love by teaching acceptance plus it has such creepy drawings, and musical sentences lol I love the video of it
Homework!!!!!! The nerd in me totally loves getting homework.
To Gala and the galadarling community! This is my first time commenting, but I have been reading this site for well over a year now. Thank you for this project. I have been struggling with so many things the past few months – self consciousness, self doubt, a rough breakup, the death of a family friend, a bad work situation, and resulting anxiety and depression issues. This project is the very first step I’ve taken into really trying to be a positive person and not let my negative thoughts control me anymore. I now love doing my own “Things I Love Thursdays.” One thing I’ve added into my book is inspirational quotes. I find many on your site here, and in various books, sites and even movies. Anything that strikes a chord with me, I write down. They are great little pick me ups and reminders.
Thanks again!
I’m terribly guilty of the second one. So much so, that’s it’s like the definition of me. And I hate it so so much. As someone who is crazily shy and introverted, it’s so hard to break that habit though; it’s part of me. But I’ve been working on it a lot this last year.
Anyhow, just wanted to say that hearing it straight and to the point from someone else helps oodles. I will definitely copy that paragraph down, and I’m taping it to my mirror!
i didn’t really have a plan going into this, but i sort of decided to go along with it anyway, keeping the general idea of self-love in mind. and i’m happy to report, it’s working! i’m taking better care of myself, eating better, getting enough sleep, buying myself gifts, spending time with myself… i’ve been so busy thinking of everything else, i didn’t realize it is myself i have been neglecting all along.
I read Stargirl for the first time the other day – it’s amazing! Definitely recommend :)
My radical self love is not allowing bitterness and anger to dwell within me at a time of deep pain and hurt… choosing to accept things and moving forward so that I can continue to find the beauty in life, despite this pain (which will eventually fade, I hope).
I wrote about it last night: republicofbrooke.blogspot.com/...
It was like therapy to write it and send it off into the universe.
I love Stargirl! I started working on my Bible but then I gave up. I don’t really think I’m made for love.
that picture: AWESOME!
this assignment:
dont know why my comment got gut off…
what I meant to say was:
that picture: AWESOME!
this assignment: loves it!
book that promotes self lovin: Add More ing To Your Life by Gabrielle Bernstein
gala, i am totally loving this project. i think i say that everytime i comment here. but. seriously!!
my tip? force a smile on your face. lift your chin (you’re too young to have two) and face the world head-on.
and when all else fails: chocolate and music.
Daughters of Copper Woman by Anne Cameron! Classic, classic, CLASSIC! I read it every time I need to feel stronger and more certain in myself. In fact I’m going to go find it right now and do a re-read :)
My bible stopped, for a little while. I had a sort of crash-and-burn, because something happened that made me feel small, undesirable, unattractive and insignificant. No amount of self-love could help me. But somehow I’m sorted and back on track. It might not have been helpful at the time, but in the aftermath, it’s bringing me back up to the top :)
My radical self love is to be my own person for me, and not to please others. Saying this, in the space of the beginning of this project, I have ended a relationship I felt trapped and alone in with my boyfriend of a year and four months, and in turn a good friend of mine told me how he felt about me, which apparently he had done for a long time. One door closes and another opens, as they say! Also, I have applied for college early to study Practical Journalism and Media – getting out into the big, bad world eventually, against wishes of my parents who were begging me to continue studying for more Highers at school. I have never been this happy in such a long time and I want to say Thanks Gala, you rock! :D
This is amazing… I was thinking “but what about other homeworks?” and here they are.
But what’s even more amazing is that they point out some stuff I recently found out by myself, like “I’m more indulgent with my friends than myself, why that? why not be soft on me for once!”
My bible is going quite good, I’m also doing other homeworks on it, and I made a post it with my self-assigned homeworks, to do when I’ll be done with the others.
And I’ve been wearing my totem all the time!
I don’t know about books though, maybe “The Good Fairies of New York” by Martin Millar, it just make me think I want to smile.
And I’d like to tell to Gala and all the people following this RSL month or other self love projects: you are strong, you are smart, you are loving and lovely because you are caring for yourself and wanting to improve and committing to change.
Spread the love
In Britain it is very popular to give something up for lent, whether the person is religious or not… I am not religious and I wasn’t planning on giving up anything but I think I’ve decided to give up anything that ISN’T self love… that includes self-consciousness, self-criticism, etc. :)
Hey Gala, I found an etsy site you might get a kick out of: www.etsy.com/shop/SoleSensatio…
I recently rediscovered a bunch of photos of myself a few years ago when I was living in a different city (Seattle) and had more friends. I was naked, painted all in pink and had pink hair. It was for a summer solstice parade in seattle which is known to have naked (painted) bicyclists. Not only do I look so fun and great, but the smile on my face is so huge. These photos remind me that I can be happy and good things will come, it’s hard to move away from your comfort zone and have to start over but It can be done. Thanks for doing this project, its great for younger gals and older one like me! :)
Now, I just have to share this photo with you so here it is, eeekkkk!
people.tribe.net/f9ae90f0
and the clothed version!
people.tribe.net/f9ae90f0
I so so so need this right now but I feel like I’m wearing a huge coat of negativity and self-criticism is weighing me down and I can’t get it off. I don’t know how to get started. :(
This morning I ran 1.5 miles in 20 minutes – a new personal record for me (a non-runner!) And for Lent, I’m giving up pre-packaged foods (that means I’ll eat more fruits & veggies) and white bread. These are both things that make me feel great about myself & that’s a huge part of Radical Self Love for me!!
Stargirl is my favorite book in all the world.. great pick! Thank you for this Gala. I told my boyfriend about RSL month an dlast night he sent me a text saying that I am a, “beautiful and intelligent woman and should never think otherwise” It’s now my rsl mantra.
I immediately thought of the novel called “A Piece of Cake” by Cupcake Brown. It’s a memoir and about a girl with a though start in life but who comes to a turning point and changes her life completely.
I loved the read and especially the last 100 pages or so were so inspirational that I have read them again, just the last 100 pages.
Yey more assignments!
I have only done a few so far. I am taking my time with them.
But I have filled my small notebook with positive quotes and lots of song lyrics by Patrick Wolf and Yeasayer. Plus I made a list of quotes from my friends and I being silly and awesome, to remind me that not only do I love myself, but that others love me too! :)
Last night I took a much-needed evening for myself and did some serious cleaning. Dishes, trash, bathroom, even organized my storage closet. Then today i got an unexpected $300 refund from my school, and some event planning that had gotten screwed up yesterday all came together thanks to a friend and her speedy textin’ finger. Thank you, feng shui & radical self-love!
I took notes from your “100 ways you can start loving yourself right now” list, & then used them to put together a page-long “Radical Self-Love Action Plan,” which contains 31 tasks, including:
-Make a list of 100 reasons I love myself
-Learn good stretches for mornings
-Have a media blackout day
-Wear big red glossy lips out
-Go on a long long walk
-Write forgiveness letter to [insert various ex-lovers’ names here]
-Write forgiveness letter to myself
-Self-beautification/pampering evening
-Write a “Declaration of Body Peace”
So far I’ve completed seven of the things on the list… Looking forward to getting the rest done :) Thank you so much, Gala!
This is sooo good Gala. Thank you!!!
I hope YOU’RE going to write a book about this sometime in the near future, too. I’m sure it would be rad.
Mine is short but increasing…I have
+TILT (except it’s a more general list of “things I’m happy about at the moment”), and I’m adding weekly TILTs
+Playlist that I like on iTunes & some song lyrics in the RSLB journal
I am putting together an ever-increasing list of things I am going to do:
+get my website up and running
+get a massage! I sooo need one!
+learn how to cook, and do some healthy meals – although raw is temping too lol
+ start running again
+ do some clearing out & ebay some stuff – I have too many clothes, haha!
+ take more photos of myself. Maybe even outfit pictures!
+ Have another go at working out my style instead of feeling like an alien who can’t get dressed properly first thing in the morning.
The media blackout day idea is a good one – would be difficult but I should really do that.
I also like the idea of treating yourself like you would a friend – what sort of advice would you give, looking in from outside?
I totally need to look after myself more: better food, exercise etc.
And today’s definitely the day that I stop waiting & go out there & get it!!!
Also I bought a little silver heart pendant for the reminder token…
‘Stargirl’ was a gift from my mother when I was in high school.
It sits in my apartment between two other books she has given me and I have fallen in love with and learned to live by- ‘The Little Prince’ and ‘Why Men Love Bitches’.
Momma knows best, eh?
I just bought a moleskine notebook yesterday – it is going to be my radical self-love journal! :)
I always do the apologizing for random things: that’s what I’m going to stop doing now! I’ve only just started my RSL notebook, but I’m so enthusiastic and I know it’s going to help me so much in my life!
I need to take some of this advise. Winter turns me into Eeyore.
Wow this is so cool and inspirational i’ve done some visualsing and here are some of the things i’ve come up with to put in my work book and on the bathroom mirror
- I am enough – Everyone is my friend – If i love myself then i will have something of value to offer others and won’t be a draining energy on them – What i have to say is of value – How people view me is there business i have the choice whether to play into it or not – I shall value my own opinion of myself over what others think of me – I am a source of good emotions – I will respond to negativity with positivity by doing otherwise would mean that they would of sucked me into their reality and out of mine – Trust in myself – Never judge a book by its cover – By loving myself i will be able to fly
and if i feel like walking around with chocolate on my face then i will
Thank you for being you love it :D
Hi Gala and all you Darlings
I’ve just finished all my homework and would love to see yours too. Thanks for always feeling like a little home in this corner of the interwebs xo
Gaah! It’s Headmistress Darling!
Where did you get that awesome pic?
I especially love the point about deciding to take charge and take steps towards the things you want. It really is the best way to be happy. Even if you aren’t at the finish line just yet, at least you can be satisfied in the knowledge that each day you are doing something to bring yourself a step closer to the goal.
This whole project has inspired me to pull out a lot of old ideas and actually do them.
The one’s I’ve started are:
- creating a ‘dream team’ of imaginary advisors, I’ve also been adding a little list of reasons why, things like HST to remind me to buy the ticket, take the ride and the Archangel Michael because he’s always watching out for us (and therefore me).
-(someone mentioned something like this earlier but…) printing out maps of the place I live and documenting all the places that always make me feel loved and awesome. But I also make one for the areas where I’m holding on to bad experiences and burnt that one as a symbolic ritual to let them go.
Thank you again for this Gala.
´The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets’ by Eva Rice and ‘I Capture the Castle’ by Dodie Smith are absolutely wonderful angel cake & sunday afternoon books with awesome main characters, the last few lines of I Capture the Castle are so inspiring.
I used to yell at one friend I have everytime she apologised for herself! I’m not sure if that helped, but it’s a few years on now and she sure doesn’t do that anymore; she’s one of the most independant, go-get’em people I know now.
xx
Wow. Awesome picture. Really looks like you! I love to read You Can Heal Your Life and Eat Pray Love!!
Haha, I didn´t even read this assigment before I write about self-love, forgives and living in NOW and not whining about past ghost´s. I had a dialoge with my whining self and tougher self.
oola
But now some homework to do!
I really love this theme!
I really love this book Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss, it’s by far the most insightful book I’ve read about the power and importance of forgiving yourself.
www.amazon.co.uk/Anatomy
Aw, my comment got deleted!
So I don’t have a RSL bible but I have a RSL inspiration folder on my desktop!
Also, is there any way we could get a list going of RSL blogs? I’d love to add as many as I can to my blog roll and read them and share RSL!
As for the assignment this week, I might take a series of RSL photos of my flaws, and things I love about myself. My boyfriend sent me a text about how he was frustrated with me living like I “fly by the seat of my pants” and instead of being upset, the first thing I thought of was taking a picture of..me flying by the seat of my pants!
Ooh ooh, here’s my RSL picture, me and my totem and a smile… beckyhunter.co.uk/images/radic…
I am absolutely loving this RSL month! My RSL bible is gradually getting fuller.
I haven’t yet come up with a book as I have many many books and I want to sort through them and really find the ones that make me feel amazing about myself. :)
I also just wrote an ultra-long blog entry about the songs that I have on RSL playlist. What can I say, I am a music student and music is my passion, of course I would write a ridiculously long blog entry on it. :P
Does anyone have suggestings for uplifting/inspiring songs to listen to? I’d like to make a mix of them. One I like is “It’s Amazing” by Jem.
meant suggestions* ;)
Oh awesome so you DO read FLB books!!!! I can definitely see the inspiration in your writing styles! Dangerous Angels has been my “self love bible” for about 7 years now, I’ve read it so many times!!!
I recommend it to EVERYONE seriously!!
These assignments really may have saved my life. Literally. I see the hope in these posts and comments and it makes me smile. Thanks for helping me in ways that you might never know. :)
One thing that I did to promote my own Radical Self Love was make a vision board. I went through a bunch of magazines (Yoga Journal has a lot of amazing images) and cut out positive images and words that inspired me. I had so much fun making a collage out of all of the clippings, and I set it on my desk so that I can look at it everday.
I also came across a blog that suggested getting rid of/giving away one thing that you no longer need or use every week in order to make space in your life for things that are actually important &useful to you. I really liked this idea, decluttering is definitely a form of Self Love.
Yay RSL month!
Simon Doonan’s Wacky Chicks www.amazon.com/Wacky is definitely most empowering book on self-love and celebration of your uniqueness i’ve ever came across. Eccentric Glamour is fabulous, too. Simon Doonan is truly a genius.
This assignment just reinforced the knowledge that the two girls I’ve been spending most of my time with tend to treat me the same way they treat themselves… that is, pretty horribly. So I’m on a mission to find some more positive ways to spend my time.
Thanks.
This is so unbelievably on point and the timing is perfect!!
I’m independently working on two of these, re-socializing myself out of insidious self-harming western-cultural girl habits.
My boyfriend pointed out to me early this week how frequently I apologize for absolutely no reason at all (I ended up APOLOGIZING FOR APOLOGIZING SO MUCH!!!), and he challenged me to never apologize to him anymore. Being conscious of how frequently I apologize in my work life has also been inspiring, and mildly terrifying. I’m actively working to dramatically limit my apologies to truly necessary moments where I only say “sorry” if I (or my department) have absolutely bollixed something up. It’s HARDer than it initially appears!!
Also, I’m a young woman in the IT industry, and recently a successful woman-in-tech who I greatly admire tweeted: I will die happy if I never hear another smart young woman say, “This is probably a dumb question, but…” It REALLY impacted me. Because I do that, too. Making an effort to preface those “dumb” questions with, “Hey, can I ask you a quick question about…” or “I just want to check in with you on…” In just this short time, I feel like it’s really making an impact on how I’m perceived professionally, and how professional I feel. I KNOW I’m smart, and I REFUSE to self-identify as “dumb,” EVER!!!
today I decided to make my radical self-love bible
and what wonders it has already done.
I was feeling down today because everything seemed to be going wrong in my life and when I read this it really opened my eyes. it really made me think about everything. I’ve decided to love myself a lot more instead of worrying about all these problems. even though I’m only 13, everything seems to be a problem.
thank you, thank you, thank you gala for doing this.
your an inspiration to everyone :]
(me especially)