Radical Self Love Questions
[ 9 February 2010 ]
Questions to ponder, write about in your Radical Self Love Bible, draw pictures of, dream up or intuit solutions to…
There are no wrong answers, go with your gut, follow your instincts, write down your truth. You have permission to be messy, imperfect, beautiful, honest, contradictory.
What does RADICAL SELF LOVE mean to you?
If you were engaging in RADICAL SELF LOVE on a daily basis, what would that look like?
What small pieces of that can you bring into your life TODAY?
Which qualities or attributes would you like to bring into your own life via the application of RADICAL SELF LOVE?
What beliefs do you currently hold that are stifling your regular expression of RADICAL SELF LOVE?
Are the people & activities in your life HELPING or HINDERING you in your quest for RADICAL SELF LOVE? Would you be better off without them?
How can you reflect RADICAL SELF LOVE in the way you speak, the way you dress, the way you decorate your house, the work you do?
Who could you use as a RADICAL SELF LOVE role model?
“We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present.” — Marianne Williamson
Idea! Download TweetDeck & add a column which searches for #radicalselflove! I have done this to mine & so I get everyone’s updates. It’s an awesome realtime way for us all to stick together & lend support. You’ll also see the quotes & things I’m retweeting which I think fit the bill! It’s very cool & interactive — at midnight last night, @ifyouneedtime asked what song inspired your own #radicalselflove, & the answers have been great! So check the tag & get involved!
Love letters & feather headdresses,
Tags: question,
the playgirls guide to radical self love Add Gala on Twitter!
Hi, thanks for doing this! I’ve been having a tough month so far, so it’s nice to be doing something uplifting and encouraging for a change. I’ve been on the look-out for updates for radical self love, so I was pretty excited when you posted this. Thanks again. :)
That is a gorgeous RSL bible! Love the pup!
I’m keen on the idea of giving lots of people kisses on the cheek as an expression of RSL.
It’s the kind of thing that would be unexpected, so you’d need to have a lot of confidence in yourself, but I think it would be really well received & help grow some internal & external love love loveeeee!
This sounds really cool! I might have to join in :)
I never thought I’d ever look forward to ‘homework,’ but now I do! :) Thanks for the mention, Gala!
Thanks for those questions… Do you have any advice on what to do if you’re having trouble with this self-lovin’ project? Focusing on self love is making me realise how little of it I have! Just start small?
I think if you feel you don’t have much to start with, your best tool is your imagination — which is why I asked, “what would radical self love look like” & that kind of thing. Even if you don’t feel like you know yourself very well, you can still picture in your head what it might look like if you did. I’m going to write some major pieces on learning to love yourself soon, & they might help you too. You can always write the questions down now & just think about them… You don’t have to do it right away. I haven’t designed this month to operate in a linear fashion, you can jump back & forth & do it however serves you best.
Okay, so all of that having been said (!), it might be really useful for you to start focusing on the things that you love about yourself. If you make a list (definitely a rad thing to have in your Radical Self Love Bible), you’ll realise you actually love a lot more of yourself than you think. It might start off “I have a great butt” or “I dress in a really cool weird way”, & will grow from there. If you get really stuck, you can ask friends or family members their favourite thing about you :>
Start that list, work on it, carry it around with you for a week & just add to it. Self love really starts when we can begin to appreciate who we are, & becoming aware of our own amazing qualities is the best way to get there!
Hope this helps! xo
I’m definitely going to start my own Radical Self Love bible! This is a fantastic idea!!
I started the Artist’s Way Workbook by Julia Cameron a few days ago, it’s really interesting how all the subjects tie into each other. It might be worth checking out if anyone’s having trouble starting, there are lots of tips about free-flow writing and ideas for dates with yourself! I got it out of my local library, but it’s defo on Amazon too. I’m really enjoying it, and have kind of incorporated it into my RSL bible. It’s my birthday on Valentine’s Day, so it all feels like the right time for some Radical Self Love! xx
Thanks very much Gala and Nell, I’ll take your advice and see how it goes… Funny how love can produce so much anxiety! I could definitely get into going on dates with myself and picturing how it would feel to be more in touch with myself. xx
I have just started my RSL bible. Wow, Gala you are an imaginitve one, this is an amazing idea. I love it :) x
Thanks for this project! I’m going to purchase a pretty little notebook especially for this! :o)
This may not be the right place to ask, but I’ve been having trouble getting my emails through… I emailed you the other day about my subscription to LOVE & SEQUINS. I haven’t received my issues yet and I also subscribed twice accidentally, so I wanted to know if you could cancel and refund one of the subscriptions. Thanks love!
Just started my RSL diary last night, im v.excited about my homework tonight! found a cate blanchet/ bob dylan picture for the front that says ‘Dig Yourself’, my message to me for the month.
Tweetdeck idea is genius!
I’m doing that right now!
Yay! I’ve been waiting for another assignment for my RSL guidebook! I hope you don’t mind, Gala, but in my Thursday blog this week, I’ve got a suggested assignment for readers as well. :)
Downloading tweetdeck now! Fabulous idea! It’s so exciting to have something to be pumped up for as I’ve been feeling pretty drab lately.
Dear Gala.. I think your radical self love project is totally awesome! Except (without wanting to sound arrogant), I totally feel like I am already radically in love with myself! I had a tough year last year and instead of moping about, I decided to make things happen. I ditched my career, moved overseas, found new friends (I still love my old friends though!!), developed new skills, and purchased outrageously patterned clothes. I finally feel like I own my life and rule my destiny. My goal now is to radiate happiness on to others, to smile at strangers and wink at cute boys. I love your project because every girl deserves to feel this amazing!!
Never thought I’d get a tweetdeck til now :)
I think this “Are the people & activities in your life HELPING or HINDERING you in your quest for RADICAL SELF LOVE? Would you be better off without them?” is one of the most important things to consider. The answer is YES, you’d be better off without them! Never let other people poison your life or get in the way of you loving yourself :)
Great questions! Now I must find a quiet place to answer them…
The only problem with my notebook being imperfect and messy is I WANNA SEND PICS TO YOU but you would never show them off in a scribbly state…
These are such thought provoking questions. I am super excited about this project and more importantly where I’ll be at the end.
Yay! I’ve already begun. I filled up a whole page with the things I love about myself. And I didn’t just write out a boring list. For instance, I put on some red lipstick, kissed the page, and wrote around it, “I love my big fat lips!”
Thanks, Gala, for doing this.
my RSL bible is my moleskine calendar (a must-have!).
one of my new year’s resolutions was to be more organised- since then i look into the calendar many times every day, so i decided, that this will be the best place to put self encouraging words, quotes, thoughts.
so far it works great! and surprisingly so far this month was absolutely ace! about the fime i found RSL idea here i thought, that because each year february is shitty- this time it will be great no matter what. and since then i had a great mood almost every day, smiling and laughing a lot (without cringing-promise!)
being happy- makes me happy!
and it brings me a lot of joy every day. as well so far good things were just happening to me. i’ve lost and found my driving gloves, weather was quite nice, i found and bought alice in wonderland earings (mismatch- one is a white rabbit, and the other is a clock!), i found the most amazing flat ever to live in from next september, and… well the list is veery long now. and it was just a week!
so keep on going, be positive and give away lots of love!
kisses and fish fingers!
In honor of #radicalselflove I deleted a bunch of Facebook friends that only post negative things. “Uhg I’m so fat” “I hate Arizona” “Everyone’s a jerk” etc. Same goes for Twitter! Now I get to read (mostlu) positive stuff everyday :)
Aww what a delight to see my favorite and very own beagle adorning my favorite website! Now that’s radical. Much much love!
I leant SO much about myself doing that! I even posted my answers on my blog… wastemylifepretending.onsugar….
There is a photo of my bible and my totem on there too!
Who could you use as a RADICAL SELF LOVE role model?
YOU, Gala. you. ... obviously
Role model …Grace Coddington she is fierce , stylish, clever , ahead of the pack , making her own voice heard.
Off-topic but thanks for making the suprise me button bigger!
Gala! Fantastic post! I have to share my answer to the last question: Two of my role models for Radical Self Love are Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross. I strongly recommend that everyone here check out dodsonandross.com
Their mission is particularly about sex and masturbation and that particular vein of self love, but when you hear them speak (their Friday videos are awesome), you understand that their mission comes from a much more expansive view of the world. Their understanding of love and sex comes from a deep respect for themselves and their partners and human nature. It’s really quite amazing. I hope everyone will check them out. ROAR!
Excellent! I finally bought a pretty notebook today to use as my RADICAL SELF LOVE bible, and I’m gonna work on these questions throughout the week. I’m so excited about this project, Gala! Thank you again for your inspiration. xox
Yay, more homework! I am such a dork for this!
Oh I am so excited for this homework! hehe
I have my notebook all ready.
I don’t have twitter, but my radical self love song definitely has to be To The Lighthouse by Patrick Wolf!
For anyone interested, www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5zjuL…
this is such a good idea. i’ll try and do this on twitter – gotta get on top of things.
i love the hound in that radical self love bible. reminds me of my bagle hound – the best thing ever.
Im thinking I might paint something. I really dont think I’ll do the notebook…I have so many notebooks and Moleskines already.
I’m going to paint, scan and post on my blog… I think that will be perfect for me.
Homework completed!
I am not sure if my comment is relevant or not but I thought I would share. I know for me, one of the reasons why there isn’t a lot of self love floating around these days for girls is because you are taught all around you that you need to look a certain way as a girl…and it’s everywhere shouting out at you…from magazines to movies to television to music. It’s like the world media loves to tell you your not good enough and you should look like “this” and to do that you gotta buy whatever it is their selling. THAT’S WHY IT’S SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR FOR RADICAL SELF LOVE MONTH!
So here’s what I did tonight that made me love myself. I heard about this contest American apparel is having where they want you to wear one of their thongs and take a butt shot and then post it on their website to be commented on and then a winner chosen. Now when I saw that I thought….this is so exploiting girls just to drive more traffic to their website…and in the mean time send the wrong message to girls!
So even though I knew it probably wouldn’t make a difference I decided to let them know how I felt…here is what I wrote:
(Beg Message)
I got this quote straight off your website on the about us page…..“American Apparel is a company concerned with human factors and our primary target market is young adults.”
I can’t believe that you can say that your company is concerned with human factors and then have a contest to get girls to pose in a thong and then upload onto the world wide web.
I guess when your company says “our primary target market is young adults.” they literally mean it!
I am so disgusted….and not only that but you can actually leave comments on the pictures that are uploaded…talk about exploiting these girls. I use to think this company rocked but now I feel like your company is made up typical men….and not the marrying kind. I can’t believe the company actually thought it was a good idea to exploit young women….post them online for all to see just so that you could drive more traffic to your website. Lets hope your target market of young adults …..don’t include girls at impressionable years. (end of message)
anyway….relevancy not sure ….but it did make me smile to myself for being silly enough to write an email to them about it…..I’m A GOOFBALL!
-kerri
@Kerri — That’s awesome! Perhaps if more people complained they would realise how disgusting they’re being and finally stop with these exploitative competitions.
kerri: lots of love to you for doing that!
You are such an inspiration- your questions have me thinking a lot already. I feel a bit behind but I’m going to try to make time to start a journal + catch up.
RSL means believing there is more to life than just being a number. That I will always be beautiful no matter how many extra pounds or spots I have. Being able to dance around outside in a leotard and not care what anyone thinks. To be fearless of expressing my opinion.
I like that RADICAL SELF LOVE is always capitalised, makes it sound all the more forceful and amusing in my head, haha x
Got my RSL bible today!!! So excited to begin, already have quote clippings and pictures to paste on it :) Thx again Gala!!!!
Hi Gala :)
this is amazing, i’ve been off work all week with the worst flu i’ve had in years and what a perfect time to work on radical self love, between not being able to sleep and watching lots of dvds i’ve been going through stacks and stacks of magazines to clip out amazing pictures and quotes and today i’m making a radical self love wall in my room – pictures that make me smile, that i think are amazing, and i’m painting art to go up there too – so its like my note book errupted onto my wall – anyway i just wanted to say thank you for doing this – it couldnt be more perfect timing :)
@ Kerri – OMG you are amazing!!! hug Go Girl!
I love that iCiNG is full of amazing women who stick up for what they believe in & are willing to fight for inner happiness… I think that’s the main way to have RSL.
x Tasj
Kerri so happy that you did that. I have been boycotting American A. since I found out about some of their shady business practices. If you want to know more head on over to bonzaiaphrodite.com where Sayward wrote a long post about it.
I agree that as girls and women we are told how to be. There is a constant emphasis on us being perfect. We have to have perfect skin, we can’t sweat, we need a perfect smile, a flawless delicate nose, big baby eyes, small thighs etc.
I have finally started dealing with what is really stopping me from loving myself. It comes down to what I think other people think of what I look like but, also what people think of what I do. I realize I want to be FEARLESS. So that is what I am going to be working on for the remainder of February and beyond. Remind your lovely self, Go BIG and go boldly, because they’re not going to all respect you but they’ll sure as hell remember you. You’re fabulous.
hugs and kisses
I wrote my 10 radical self love commandments on my blog
polkadotstripes.wordpress.com/...
Also Kerri I think you are amazing well done!
I sat down to write a quick answer to just one or two of the questions, and ended up answering all of them and writing six pages!
...I started this to help me get back on track with my happiness project that I started this year, and it really is helping. So thank you!
My Radical Self Love Bible is a little A6 Daler ~ Rowney sketchbook.
As an artist Daler ~ Rowney sketchbooks are like my version of moleskines. I drool over the quality paper and extremely enduring hard cover. I have done some insane things to these sketchbooks and never had one fall apart.
I’m totally enjoying this already. Glad I joined in! I’ve done 8 pages so far. Still considering these questions though.
Thinking about role models especially just now. One is definately going to be a girl I met in college who I always respected for her radical love and respect for herself. She had a tough time while I was friends with her but she still loved herself and extended love to everyone else she met and always made everyone happy with her nuttyness.
Another is probably going to be Gala =D
I was also thinking maybe Dita Von Teese. She talks about her past in her Burlesque/Fetish and the art of teese book. I kinda like her attitude to self love, as a kid she was told she was the plain one next to her two sisters and now look at her!
Oh I forgot!
One role model would definately be Florence from Florence and the Machine! I love her attitude and I relate to her a lot I have a crazy imagination and . I love her energy and imagination and the way she makes all things magical but not in a cheesey way. In a dark mystical exciting extreme way. I think she puts SO MUCH of herself into what she puts out into the world and I think that’s what radical self love is all about.
To me radical self love means: “Building up everything inside of you that is wonderful, making it huge and releasing it into the world storming, raw and sincere.”
I know that is a terribly structured sentance but I’m not a writer and it’s my favourite thingI’ve writen in my RSLB so far.
Radical Self Love would definately sound like Florence and the Machine.
www.crownofviolets.com/radical My answers! ♥
This is great fun! Thank you!
i just posted my home work on my website. really looking forward to this!
Dear Lovely Gala,
Thank you for being a great inspiration to me and
others! I love this new project! It is so much fun!
I love youuuu.
Hugs & kisses
This is so much fun.
Thanks for so much inspiration.