The Constant Gardener
[ 22 May 2008 ]
My mother has always said, “Everything happens for a reason”. For years I thought this was just her way of placating me when something bad happened, but recently I have come to realise the inherent wisdom in it.
Everything happens for a reason.
Life often contains upsetting details. These things can range from abuse to a bad haircut to divorce, but they all affect us. They throw us off balance & confuse us. We wonder what we did wrong. What did we do that was so awful that we deserved this? While I do believe in personal responsibility, & that our external world is a direct reflection of what is going on inside us, I also think there’s more to it than that. Sometimes these occurrences are the pathway to a more marvellous thing.
I don’t believe in “fate” (probably because I am too much of a control freak!), but I do believe that the Universe (or God, or a higher power, or whatever you like to call it) is always looking out for us. It gives us cues & nudges, signs & hints, & every now & then, it gives us a big, blessing-laden wink. We can’t always see that, though, & when we ignore it, we do so at our own peril. In order to be aware of what is going on around us, it’s important for us to be open & listening, to feel spiritually grounded & to trust in our intuition.
I think it’s essential to pay attention to what the Universe (or our intuition) is telling us. So many times I’ve had a bad feeling about something, & then after it’s all gone to pot, I know I was right to be cautious. It happens in small doses, too — walking around Manhattan, sometimes I feel like I should go left instead of right. I use my logic to turn right, then realise a block later that my intuition was right (or left, as the case may be!) all along.
A lot of people make the same mistake over & over, or their life keeps running in a hideous loop, & they don’t know what to do about it. This is a great example of the Universe trying to shake things up, or teach us a lesson that will benefit us in the long-run. We’re all guilty of not listening, too! It’s very common for our ego to get in the way.
Often, when things don’t work out for us, we look at the situation, grit our teeth, & decide to persevere regardless of the circumstances. Or we wig out, throw up our hands & run in the opposite direction. But I don’t think either of these are the ideal solution to a bump in the road. If we can take some time, sit back & examine what has happened in an objective fashion, usually we can see that there is another way forward.
Life doesn’t always fit in with what we want, but instead of taking it personally, I think it can be beneficial to recognise that maybe, just maybe, the Universe is telling us to wake up & pay a bit more attention. To go with the flow, not try & force anything. We can keep pushing if we want to, but it’s not necessarily going to be the best thing for us.
Sometimes we get so hung up on what we want, or finishing a project, or snagging that crush, that we can’t really see what’s going on. We become blind to our ambition, & we decide we must have x, regardless of the cost! Of course, having focus is a brilliant thing, & many of us would not be where we are today without it. But if you can maintain some perspective, consider the bigger picture & re-adjust your goals accordingly when things go awry, you’ll be much better for it.
If you can trust that the Universe will look after you, the world becomes a much less savage place. For example, I often have people approach me to get involved in their business projects. Mostly, it all works out fabulously, though a couple of times I have been a little bit hesitant (oh, intuition), but said yes anyway. What happened? Things went sour. While it’s easy for us to suffer the ill effects of a damaged ego, to take it personally & wring our hands, in my case, soon afterwards the other party showed their true colours. I realised that getting involved with them would have been a huge mistake. Having my energy tangled up in theirs would have been terrible. I regard this kind of thing as the Universe taking care of me. It could see what I couldn’t at the time. & while I could have pushed the issue, “made” it work, haggled &/or debated &/or kissed booty, I’m glad I didn’t. I am much better off for it.
Sometimes the Universe has to re-arrange things for you, often in an unsightly way, in order to make really wonderful things happen. It is painful & ugly at the time, sure.
But when these things happen to you, imagine the Universe knocking on your door. It turns up in overalls, wearing gardening gloves, carrying some seed packets & a pair of pruning shears. It smiles at you, & walks through the house to your garden. It kneels in the soil & starts to go to work in your flower bed, pulling up all the weeds & old, dying plants.
While you could run outside, scream & exclaim, “Don’t you know that those begonias were prize-winning? Best on the block! What are you doing?!”, take a moment. Look through your window. Examine the situation with a real, open, unbiased eye.
Everything happens for a reason.
Allow the Universe to be your gardener. Sit back & have a cup of tea. Watch as new seeds are planted in the fertile earth. Your gardener is making room for even more fabulous things to sprout & come to fruition.
Super-love & cupcakes,
Gala 
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really interesting, great post! x
Love this, one of my favorites yet.
Simply amazing. My favorite article you’ve ever written.
You are so intelligent and grounded…I’m glad I found your blog. Everything you write is so inspiring. In just the last few months I’ve learned to love myself, and I guess I just want to say thank you.
What a beautiful post, Gala, and such an apt analogy. My mum always says, ‘What’s for you won’t go passed you’, which sounds like a variation of what your mum says to you! Time and time again, I have come up to moments in my life when I begin to panic and I try and control and uncontrollable situation. It’s at times like this that I sit back, take a deep breath, and remind myself that, ‘what’s for me won’t go passed me’, and then it all seems to work out. Thanks for sharing such a beautifully written piece, Gala :-)
thankyou. i really needed this right now— its perfect timing, really.
i was in need of some ‘super-love & cupcakes’.
bravo! whenever things get tough, i always remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and things will always get better! life moves in funny cycles. xx
great post! thanks for spreading the light. if anyone is looking for further guidance along these lines check out ‘Pure Bliss: The Art of Living in Soft Time’ by Gill Edwards – akin to Gala’s post it is wise, uplifting and easy to read. a few pages/chapters in and the idea of the universe being a safe and loving place will no longer be simply an intellectual idea, it will permeate your soul and become a personal truth. (and this is said by a young lady who only a year ago thought all this stuff was ‘hippy crap’! ;)
I too love this article. Gala, your faith in the power of the universe has inspired me greatly in the year-or-so that I have been reading iCiNG. I have always tried to maintain a faith in the universe, and reading about so many of your goals becoming a reality in your life has reinforced my faith and awe in that power.
In my life, I have witnessed the universe giving me awesome opportunities in love, housing, and career. My boyfriend was recently accepted to grad school, so at the end of the summer, I am moving away from my home town for the first time in my life, at age 25. I am so excited to see what the universe will bring to me in my new location! I have complete faith that when opportunities such as this come about, it is only because there is something even better in store.
To amypalko – I LOVE the saying your mother told you! That’s something I’ve sort of always believed, but never put into words…just reading it makes me feel this exhileration at the fact that everything will ALWAYS be OK.
I absolutely LOVED this post!!! Good Job Gala!
wow, very well timed post:) exactly what I needed today- between this and my things I love list I am feeling much better. I’ve always believed that- I suppose I just needed a reminder, thanks!
Lovely writing :)
This really applies to me right now, actually. About a year ago now, I had a huge falling out with a friend. Today, I don’t even know what really happened then; it was a huge mess, to say the least.
Lately, though, for the past few weeks or so, I had been thinking about making amends. I didn’t know why, but it was just this tugging little idea in the back of my brain. One night, I just did it without really thinking. I sent her a little message with an apology and explanation of how I was feeling.
So far, not a lot has changed but I see it starting to happen. My friends that dislike her aren’t so happy, but she replied very pleasantly and I’m hoping (and I believe) this is happening for a reason :D
I completely believe in the intricately woven threads of life coming together to illustrate the perfect tapestry. Even those pesky little black threads help to form and define the image.
it’s so easy to lose sight of this when dealing with tough-times, so this reminder is always welcome!
Great work, Gala! And I love the expression “what’s for you won’t go past you” – gorgeous!
This is my favorite post i think…it’s really nice.
Thanks Gala :)
I agree with everyone else – excellent post! Truth is, I just had a pretty crappy day. This was just what I needed to read.
I’ve been really trying in the past year to follow this kind of thinking, and it’s really working for me. I’ve had so many situations during high school that I thought were the end of the world, but they almost always led to something good, or at least acceptable. My best friends ditched church to go get ice cream, but I ended up sitting with some girls who I had even more fun with. My “almost boyfriend” ended up going to prom with another girl, but a month of ice cream and sad movies later I fell for one of his best friends. Life is funny that way.
The end of the world is not a bad grade or a breakup. There will be much more fire and death involved, I would think.
such an inspiring post Gala! Its true that in bad times, often we forget to look around us.
Another inspiring saying that relates to that one – “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”
I had a great friend tell once tell me, “The Universe is right on schedule! But I still lock my car at night.” :)
Inherently good wisdom, I do believe. As is yours. :)
This is just what I needed to read today. I have had the maddest three days and I think I’m about to make a major change in direction xx
this couldn’t have been better timed, thank you
Beautiful piece. Such an inspiration.
I hope I’ll one day be able to really, truly believe in it!
Exactly! The Universe led me to this website just a few short weeks ago and it was meant to be. Taoism at its best. What an inspiration you are to so many women! Thanks for just being you.
I can’t tell you how incredibly apropos it is that you wrote this today. Just last night I was thinking about this exact thing, and did some writing about a few recent events just of this nature.
I’ve been recently emmersed in the thought that it seems quite possible that not only does the Universe literally pave the way for us, but also uses us to help pave the way for others. Each and every one of us have probably done something (if not many things) to create something in another’s life, and we probably don’t even know what we’ve done. It’s amazing how so many seemingly insignificant things, when looked at in retrospect, obviously help to shape our lives.
I too think it’s incredibly important to listen to our instincts. Thank you for stressing that!
Beautiful post, Gala.
:) This almost feels like something Neil Gaiman would write. My mother always told me to follow my intuitions, too, and when I was younger, I resented it— but now that I’m older, I find myself doing just that more and more often, and being happier with my decisions. Thanks for putting that lesson in such beautiful words!
such an awsome article. today has not been exactly my best day but this just made it a gajillion times better thanks!!
This would be a really nice podcast. Thank you for the positivity!
You should definetly read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, it captures all of what your saying in your article! I also think feel that you writing this article has been a sign to me personally because since last night I’ve been pondering a personal decision where my intuition says one thing and my mind says another, and now I feel like I really know the right decision! Thank you.
I’m so glad you all like this article so much, because it’s a bit of a departure from my usual fare! It’s a bit more spiritual/metaphysical & I know that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea! So thank you for all the positive feedback.
bri — That is fantastic. I’m so happy for you! It can be a slow process, & I think we are all always learning to love ourselves more & be more accepting & forgiving. It’s fabulous that you’ve started to make the journey!
amypalko — Your mother’s saying is great! I couldn’t agree more. I love that, I’m going to remember it!
stephanie — That book sounds good! Might hunt it down. & your last sentence cracked me up, I used to be like that too! Lifting my own veil of cynicism is one of the best things I’ve ever done :>
Liina — I’m so happy to help! Life is so amazing, really, & a lot of us get bogged down by the bad stuff simply because it’s so easy to do. But if we can make the effort to see the wonder, we’re all so much better off.
Sasha — Hee, yes, fire & brimstone & music of doom!
Jenna — Yeah, something akin to “trust in God but paddle away from the rocks”, hmm? I like that too :>
Sofia — I hope so too. It’s scary to take the leap sometimes but it is always, always worth it. All you need to do is start believing it in little gasps. You’ll get there!
Alice — Thank you so much, & welcome!
Lisa — You’re so right! I was actually going to make into a podcast but forgot & then ran out the door. I will record it now!
Julie — I’ve heard a lot about that book, so I should probably check it out! I’m glad you feel like you’ve reached a decision, too :>
I love you. this was so inspiring, and I agree (and always have) with everything you have written. :) You always brighten my day!
Thank-you for such a lovely, amazing article.
xoxo
well said….YAY to the Universe, YAY YAY to our intuition AnD yAy yAy yAy to the oNe who can articulate the message in a way that connects with so many people!!!!
gold star and silver sparkles for Gala and the (NyC) city ;)
Oh my god, Gala. Thank you. I’m about to initiate a break-up after seven years of dating, and my gut wants it, everyone I’ve confided in supports it, but my head just keeps telling me that it’s not fair not to give him a second chance. He’s a wonderful person and an excellent boyfriend but I’m just not in love with him anymore. Thanks for the extra support.
Beautifully put Gala. I know many of us have said this before, but this is the way I’ve been seeing life very recently and it’s exciting and validating to see it written in your words.
I love how you’ve created such a positive space where we can enjoy these synchronities of life together. Thank you.
The Universe as gardener, I like that. xxx
Your BEST yet gorgeous lady!
Love you xx
chu chu
ps It is so truly heartwarming to watch as you and the Universe walk hand in hand through all sorts of exciting adventures. This is a perfect archive of just how powerful intuition and the Universe is! A wonderful reminder to us all. Thank you
Funny that you wrote this, and it’s exactly what I needed to hear today. Without getting into the nitty-gritty of my personal life, the Universe threw me a curve ball this week and now I’ve been sent careening in a direction that I believe is all for the better. It helps to hear someone restate the idea that following your guts is the best policy. Thanks for being AWESOME!
This is my favourite of your articles too.
It’s something I’ve always thought about but wouldn’t have been able to convey so concisely.
:o)
Thank you so much, I needed this right now.
Today is the first day I have been to your blog. I was sent here by No Impact Man, quite possibly the coolest guy ever…anyways, Sometimes the universe sets things in front of you, and as I was reading, I realized that this is one of those things, that just floats in front of you SLAM at the exact moment you needed it!
So thank you to you, and to whatever part of the universe sent me that beautiful thing.
Love as always.
Bravo! Yu say itso very well.. most ‘bad’ things that happen always have a seed of good in them. So you didn’t get that job because you have a unconventional hairdo? Think of it as a blessing in disguise.. no point wasting your energies on somewhere that would make you unhappy for not accepting your individuality. And same goes for relationships.. one ends to open the pathway to a situation that is less limiting and more correct.
I love you for the advice and hope you give to people Gala, you’re one in a million and a guiding star!
this post really put me in the best of moods to get some work done. thank you. :)
Beautiful. I still have a hard time thinking the universe looks out for me, despite the raw proof. It helps me to realize that I also take an active role in creating my life; after all, I’ve gotta actually listen to hear the gardener knocking and actively open the door.
This is SUCH a good verbalisation of my feelings about the way the universe has been working for me…nearly two years ago I had a choice as to which way to go in life, and I chose the one I thought I wanted, despite the universe quite clearly trying to push me in the other. Needless to say, it didn’t work out and I ended up in a situation that was not at all healthy for me. When the opportunity came to change, I decided to ‘go with the flow’, as utterly terrifying as it was at the time, and let the universe do its work. Now, I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and have amazing new people in my life. The odd thing is that it all came about through a lot of tiny chances…people (including me) changing their minds at the last minute and some almost-missed opportunities. It’s that, more than anything else, that has led me to having such a strong belief in fate.
You’re amazing, Gala!
Gala, this is great. you really have the encouragement thing down pat. what a gift! thanks for taking the time o write this.
thankyou Gala that is a wonderful post…
i really need that atm my week has gone from bad to worse to terrible…. i have been waiting till this arvo when school has finish in hopes that the weekend will be sooo much better…
but that is an inspiring post and just what i needed to wake me up and realise that everyting does happen for a reason.
My boy recently left me for the second time. Sometimes I think the Universe is telling us that we should be apart, and other times I wonder, if we are supposed to be apart, then why did we end up like this to begin with? I’m starting to wonder if this is another nudge. Pity I’m in love with him.
What if you’re in love with your wilting begonias? Shouldn’t you… water them or something?
“Everything happens for a reason” is one of my mottos, too!
The article is very well written!Great post!!!
Sometimes I get frustrated when things don’t work out, but I’ve come to realize that life would be way too boring if things always went as planned.
The way I see it, life is full of opportunities — so full that we can’t take them all. So, there’s no need to fret if a few things seem to fall through.
And while we don’t really ever know what we’ll get out of each opportunity, so long as you look for the good in a situation, you will find it.
This is an amazing article.
I always try and think like this. It is my favourite motto and has got me through some horrible stuff before.
However I have had a pretty horrible couple of weeks and have been getting bogged down with feeling rubbish so I would just like to say a big thank you to both you and the universe for reminding me so beautifully of what is really important and setting me back on the right path again.
:) xx
I know I’m totally late for this, but I had to comment. This is exactly what life has tought me in the last 6 months, even though only gala could have said it so beautifully!can i add my 2 cents?!I had never believed that God, or the universe, actually had a way in what happened in my life…so when my boyfriend broke up with me (in a horrible, horrible way) i was desperate to say the least and kept asking ‘why me?what am i going to do now?this doesn’t make any sense!’, but then, literally 10 days later, i got called from the company i had been dying to work for since 2 years, i interviewed with them and got hired to work for them abroad, in a city i love!this was really my dream coming true, and i don’t know if i would have been in the condition to catch it if i was still tangled in my past relationship (with lost of problems)—-bottom line: i felt so incredibly…taken care of!i really felt someon up there was giving me a ‘a big, blessing-laden wink’!!that really put everything under a different light and made me think that, as painful and ugly as it may have been my experience had a meaning!
in italy we say ‘whenever a window closes, a door opens’...it was true for me this time in this big thing but i totally believe it’s true for everything in our lives!thanks gala for this article, as you can guess one of my favourites ever so far:)
Oh! I love this…
beautiful.