forty-five thoughts for my daughter and my virtual daughters
By Francesca Lia Block.

i always believed if i had blond hair, pixie face
big breasts
everything would be all right
not realizing that culturally idolized beauty
is not only foolproof
but potentially dangerous

if you believe in your own unconventional beauty
when you are young
you will accomplish twice as much and suffer half so

turn off lightbulbs and light a candle

walk don’t drive

plant a tree

wear sunscreen

dancing is an antidepressant

kindness is the new status symbol

every day please try to eat something green
and something orange
that grow out of the ground

tell me how mad you are
that your father and i parted
i will always listen
though i can’t ever take away the pain

expectations are for what you yourself create

they rarely work when applied to others

turn off the television

tv is a depressant

yoga is an antidepressant

don’t feel guilty about wanting pretty things

they would not be so alluring
if you weren’t supposed to want them
just don’t value them over compassion

use your words even when you are a grown-up
and people no longer think it is entirely acceptable
when you say, that hurt my feelings

if you can digest chocolate eat it sometimes

same goes for ice cream
(i don’t really need to tell you those things do i?)

do your homework because it is part of the game but

don’t spend too much time worrying about grades

fall in love with someone kind who loves your body
and your mind

if you have a dream that won’t let you go, that
tickles your solar plexus, heed it

turn dark feelings into paintings or poetry
or dancing

music is a kind of food

if you are sad talk to a happy woman who loves you
it will always help

move your body when you are sad or angry

avoid the following:
genetically modified ingredients
parabens
sodium lauryl sulfate
mercury in certain fish
neurotic thoughts about food
(is that a contradiction?)

love your curls though they tangle
your pale skin though it can burn in the sun
your nose though it is broader than some
your sturdy legs and feet

forget barbie she does not possess imagination

remember you are a botticelli angel

the planet we live on is perfection

love her like a goddess

love yourself as her daughter

there is a planet full of different kinds of beauty

the idea that only one type of woman is beautiful
is blasphemy

of everything i brought to the world in these
forty-five years
you and your brother are by far the most astounding

because of this i will always love your father

matter never vanishes, only changes

remember that when someone you love dies

your round head on my breast when you were born
is the memory
i will keep with me when i leave this body

when i am gone i will still be near you

this is how i know: when you were born
it was not a meeting
but a reunion