10 Tips To Turn You From Wallflower To Flirt Professor!


Summer lovin’, had me a blast…

When it heats up, the subject of romance — whether of the long & lasting or fast & frisky variety! — is suddenly on everyone’s mind. I was recently approached by SVEDKA to share my top tips for how to have a fantastic summer fling, & I thought it was a great time to share what I learned during my time as a bachelorette!

1. Learn how to enter a room!

I learned this one from the infamous Veronica Varlow. When you walk into a room, you should command it!

Walk through the door, then STOP. You don’t have to rush to find a seat, or your friend, or the table with all the food on it. Just stop, & stand up straight, & look around the room. Survey it, slowly! Sweep your eyes across all the people, then once you’ve had a moment to gather yourself together, you can glide (!!!) across the room to wherever you want to be.

As well as netting you plenty of attention, it will also give you a chance to enter with grace & to get your bearings. The real reason for doing this, though, is it helps to “set the scene”. Just rushing into a room like a mad thing isn’t very graceful or dignified. Take a few seconds extra, & your experience will be totally different!

2. Be open & inviting!

If you wonder why you don’t get approached very often, have a look at your body language. Are you slouched over? Do you have your arms crossed? Do you have a sour look on your face? Even the most optimistic Romeo (or Juliet!) will shy away from someone who looks like they’re going to bite the head off anyone who approaches them!

Keep your shoulders back, & sit up straight. SMILE! There’s no one in the world who doesn’t look even better with a natural, genuine smile on their face. Yes, that includes you! Make eye contact with people, & don’t be nervous or afraid! You are gorrrrrrgeous, baby!

3. Practice the art of sexy, scintillating conversation.

The brain is the biggest sexual organ after all, so if you can capture their attention with your witticisms & sweet, subversive banter, you’ll have them eating out of the palm of your hand!

Keep it light & friendly, & try to make the conversation as interesting & fun as possible! Make the discussion engaging, too — it shouldn’t be a one-sided monologue for either party! It’s great to talk about your passions, but if you start ranting about your love for French cinema & sense that the object of your affections isn’t similarly excited about the topic, why not ask them what they’re passionate about? Asking someone what they wanted to be as a child is a good ice-breaker, too. You don’t have to open with, “What do you do?”, because honestly, it is terribly dull!

4. It’s all in the eyelashes.

There’s something about looking like Bambi that drives the men wild, so layer up your mascara & add false eyelashes if you’re comfortable applying them!

But there’s more to it than that. The ultimate flirting trick is to make eye contact, then look away for a few seconds. Count to five while you look away. It’ll feel like you’re looking away for an HOUR, but actually, you’re just giving them an opportunity to take in your glorious visage! This is actually a silent permission slip where you’re allowing them to look at you. I know it sounds weird, but it works, I promise. & don’t just do it once! Do it a few times! They looooooooove it!

5. Focus all your attention on the object of your affections!

There is nothing worse than flirting with some fox who isn’t paying you any attention! It sucks. Just walk away! But it’s important to be sure that you are giving them all your attention also.

This means: put your phone away. Don’t scan the room behind them to see if someone more interesting is around. & don’t stare at your feet! Make eye contact & “smize” (smile with your eyes), goddamnit!

Tim WalkerPhoto by Tim Walker.

6. Keep things relaxed with a delicious cocktail.

You don’t want to get messy, but a couple of drinks might just loosen you both up enough to get something wonderful to happen. Try SVEDKA’s Future Bot cocktail… Heavenly!

Mix 1 part SVEDKA Cherry with 4 parts ginger ale & 1 part grenadine. Put ’em all in a glass filled with ice & garnish with a cherry.

Remember to drink responsibly, & have fun!

7. Don’t go crazy with lipstick or super-sparkly, sticky gloss.

We all love a hot pink lip or gloss which looks like someone crushed a galaxy full of stars before distilling it into a little tube, but when it comes to flirtation, it’s better to keep it simple. You want your lips to look luscious but more importantly, kissable!

If you think you might be locking lips with someone devastatingly fetching, go easy on the lip products. A lip stain is a great idea, because it won’t transfer to your lover, & you can slick a little light gloss over the top to add some moisture, but don’t go too nuts! You want them to be thinking about how amazing it would be to kiss you, not, “If I kiss her, will I end up looking like the Joker?!”

8. Be conservative with your scent!

The idea with perfume or aftershave is that you should only smell it when you lean in close. Don’t layer it up or spritz yourself violently before running out the door — trust me, you don’t need it! You’re not a flower, & you’re not trying to attract bees! A spritz at the throat & on each wrist is MORE than sufficient. I promise!

This goes for guys, too! This is not a situation where a little aftershave is good, so a lot must be even better! No, no, no! We don’t want to choke on your cologne bomb. Just a little bit, baby!

9. Always use protection!

…Because as sexy as it might seem to hop into bed with that mysterious stranger, you simply do not know what they might have. You should always carry condoms, even if you don’t think there’s any chance you’ll hook up — you never know, & if not, hey, maybe your BFF will need them!

There’s no excuse for not having them in your purse, & any dude who thinks you’re a “slut” for carrying them (yes, sadly, this happens) is a complete moron & not worth the space he takes up. Always carry condoms, & don’t forget to USE THEM!

10. Be yourself!

Ultimately, flirting is all about presenting yourself in a easy to digest package, so of course, the most important thing is to be who you really are! There’s no point in doing anything else, because then you’re just fronting up with a lie, & who wants to be liked for someone they’re not?

You don’t have to laugh & giggle like the Girls Next Door if that’s not your style, & you don’t have to pretend to be deep & brooding if you’re more a happy-go-lucky type. Similarly, don’t pretend to be shy & coy if you’re actually a loud, confident go-getter, & don’t force yourself to dance if you’re more of a wallflower. Just do you, & you’ll have a fantastic time!