An Excerpt From Radical Self Love Letters (365 Edition)

Below, I’ve shared one of my recent Radical Self Love Letters. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Radical Self Love Letters is my email service, delivering a dose of sparkle and self-reflection right to your inbox.

If you were wondering what my Love Letters are all about, or what kinda thing you might be waking up to, this is a good example…


The way that we face obstacles is what determines our life. Do you curse and howl about how unfair life is, or do you pout for a second before brainstorming five ways around it?

Some people will consistently choose to place blame outside of themselves. They blame the weather, the traffic, their wife, their kid, their father, their genetics, their boss… The list goes on and on. These people have what is called an external locus of control. They never take responsibility for anything that happens in their lives, and as such, feel continually whipped around by fate. As you might guess, they aren’t very happy, either!

Having an internal locus of control — where you realise that the events of your life are due to choices you make — leads to greater happiness. And sure, sometimes we would prefer to pretend that our business failing or our relationships disintegrating had nothing to do with us (“It was the economy! And my boyfriend was a toad!”), but that doesn’t help us. That doesn’t allow us to grow, or learn, or change.

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.” (Carlos Castaneda)

Radical Self Love prompt: Reframe the crappy parts of your life as challenges. How would taking responsibility for them radically alter your life?

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Love always,